Things I Learn from My Patients.

[cognito]

while I can appreciate the "delicate situation" you may be in, I will not just stick my finger in your bloodshot eye to help you locate that "friggin' lens".

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[karo_glow]

When coming for a refill on your Soma, that oh.... just happens to be about 26 days too soon on a 30 day fill. Well, I am going to rush like all get out when you tell me what happened. It is just the worst thing. There you are, standing by the sink in your kitchen. Open the bottle, to take one, and only one! When suddenly, the bottle flies out of your hand and little Soma tablets go all over the counter and sink. You ask, "Why didn't you pick them up?" Well, that was because as soon as the tablets hit the counter, hundreds of ants swarmed around and carried all the tablets away too fast for you to pick them up. Now... doesn't that make you want to do an early override?

 

[karo_glow]

Oh, you are only five minutes away? No, we don't mind waiting. We've only been open for close to 12 hours. I understand that you couldn't have had any time to call in your son's seizure medications, of which he is the worst case we and his doctor's have seen. Nah, I don't mind you calling me at home at midnight either to inform me that you forgot one medicine, and oh, by the way it is expired and a controlled med.

 

[BuckIApothecary]

Hello! Mr._____? Hi, this is _____Pharmacy. I am calling to inform you that we were unable to refill your prescription for Viagra because your insurance declined it. Umm, Mr.____, I understand that you have "a hot date", but I cannot override your request. I am sorry, Mr.___, but, the pharmacist can't give you a couple of pills "to hold you over." You are going to have to call your insurance company and your physician. I understand that this is an inconvience, but...buh...NO THANK YOU MR._____! ~sigh~ I just have one more issue to ask you about. Written on the top of the prescription you dropped off it says 'condoms', will you still be in at 8:00 to pick those up?

heehee, gotta love those male enhancement scripts...

 

[MayaRx]

A doctor calls in a prescription for his son. The prescription has an ingredient that is listed as something his son is allergic to. Pharmacist talks to the doctor yeah i know your his father but hes allergic to so and so and your prescribing him this....is he allergic to this. Doctor reply's "I don't know." Calls up his wife and asks to speak to his daughter to see if shes's allergic to so and so. What idiots do we have wirting prescriptions that are not aware of what their son/daughter is allergic to when they listed it in their profile a long time ago.

 

[MayaRx]

A doctor calls in a prescription for his son. The prescription has an ingredient that is listed as something his son is allergic to. Pharmacist talks to the doctor yeah i know your his father but hes allergic to so and so and your prescribing him this....is he allergic to this. Doctor reply's "I don't know." Calls up his wife and asks to speak to his daughter to see if shes's allergic to so and so. What idiots do we have wirting prescriptions that are not aware of what their son/daughter is allergic to when they listed it in their profile a long time ago.


A neurosurgeon comes in and brings in a rx for viagra. than he asks what other drugs similar to this are. After he was told he was wondering if today he can try the Cialis.....Hello!

 

[PharmGirl85]

"Can I use a meat thermometer to check if my son has a feaver?"
_______________________________________________________
Drug: Hydrocortisone 2.5%
Sig: Apply locally as directed

Pt asks: "I'm going to California next week, do you think I should stop using it while I'm out of state?"
______________________________________________________
"I have finals all next week, cant you just give me some Ritalin"

 

[ToDorNottoD]

Me: X Pharmacy.
Patient: Are my pills ready?
Me: Let me guess who you are, and then I can take a look.
Patient: You don't recognize my voice?
Me: You don't sound like the ones in my head...

Love to mess with the customers a little...

Me: X Pharmacy.
Patient: Can you fill my white pills?
Me: (after checking history) Um...all of your pills are white.
Patient: The white pills for my sugar! (many diabetic patients in this area)
Me: Ma'am, all your sugar pills are white, and you're on four of them.
Patient: I don't know the name of it, but it's for my sugar.
Me: Why don't I just fill the one that's closest to being due?
Patient: Okay. (Trusting souls, aren't they?)

My most favorite situation:

Patient: Fill all my drugs. They're in your computer.
Me: And how far back would you like me to go? Can you bring me a list of either the names or the numbers?
Patient: Just do all the ones I got last time.
Me: No can do. Need a list, please.
Patient: You people can't do anything right.
Me: Not without a list we can't.

A friend pointed this thread out to me tonight. It's been the most stressful week I can remember in a long time between work and school, and I needed the laugh so badly. There are days I want to quit my job and wonder why exactly I'm making a career of it. Then I read this and it was so good to know it's not just my little backwater clientele that is wacked out.

Thanks for this, and for the giggles.

 

[ndearwater]

True story from a couple of days ago:

Me: Publix Pharmacy, this is Jessica how many I help you?
Crazy Old Man: Ya'll got (inaudible)?
Me: I'm sorry I can't hear you. What did you need?
COM: Inaudible!@#$#$$%%!!!!!!!!! (he's getting mad)
Me: Okay... it sounded like you said Ale Earls? I'm just making a guess here!
COM: Maaaalllllllleeeee URINALS!!! MALE URINIALS!!!! Do you sell male urinals?

Okay at this point I could not repress a giggle. I mean, physically I couldn't control it!

Me: Um.. no we don't carry urinals at all. (My pharmacist and the other tech now understand why I am laughing and join it making it worse!)
COM: Well that's funny cause one minute you don't even know what I'm saying and now you already know you don't have any in stock? Check the back!
Me: Well I didn't know what exactly you were saying to me before but now that I do I can tell you that we absolutely do not have urinals. At all. Not even in the back. Perhaps you could try a medical supply shop.
COM: You just think this is a funny joke!!!! #$%^*&%$ inaudible@@#$$%%^^#$!!!! (hangs up)

Still not sure why he wanted a male urinal. Who knows!

 

[melferm]

Some of these are going to be a twist on the theme. I was a cashier then shift supervisor for a pharmacy for thirteen years. I worked four to midnight for about nine of those years and it was just me and the pharmasist late at night more often than i like to remember. Some of these are things i learned from my pharmasists.

If the copay on your state funded plan increases 100 percent on Jan. first (from one dollar to two) it is perfectly fine to spend almost ten minutes very vocally complaining to the poor bastard who works the front and got stuck on the pharm register about how unfair it is.

Especially if the three people ahead of you did the same thing and you spent the time waiting rolling your eyes at them.

It's perfectly fine to forget to bring your new card for the above mentioned plan at the beginning of the month. Just like last month, and the month before, etc. and to complain and whine about how come we can't just fill the prescription anyways.

Apparently, there is no problem with, somehow (and none of us, pharmacy or front store, ever figured out how), to make all sorts of extra work for you to do by the end of the night, requiring you to stay late when you know the boss will make the shift supervisor to stay late with you. I worked 4 to midnight five days a week and was ALWAYS stuck with this person.

When this happens, it is perfectly fine for you to whine and bitch to said shift supervisor in a very neurotic way.
That's okay, he is secretly wishing he could strangle you anyways. He thinks your a nice person until nine p.m. when your tech leaves. It's just that all bets were off from about eleven on.

There is no problem with pissing your panties and asking for a bag before going to the restroom and putting the soiled panties in the bag before shopping another Hour and a half carrying the bag with you. Then very loudly telling the poor s.s. (it is once again late at night and he is once again stuck on the pharm register.) and everyone else in the store what's in the bag. Then give the pharmasist hell about your scriptions with the bag sitting on the counter despite the very pointed hints from the s.s. and the pharmasist.

 

[melferm]

You don't need a scription for needles in my neck of the woods, unless somethings changed in the last few years. So why lie about why you want them? Why even tell them anything more than what you want? Even then, a surprisingly low number of people caught on that if you did not at least tell a decent or entertaining lie that some of us lied right back and said we were out of them.

Asking the pharmasist while she is busy where something is in the front while the clerk five feet away is not doing a thing should not royaly piss off the pharmasist AT ALL. She has no right to look at you like you are an idiot, roll her eyes and ask you if it looks like she has the time to go out and get to know where everything is. Throwing a hissy fit right back at her is a perfetly normal response and should not result in the cops being called when you start threatening bodily harm, refuse to leave and tell the pharmasist you know what her car looks like.

It's perfectly normal to kick your tech because she is sitting on the floor behind the counter and out of sight giggling like a little girl. Sure, you find it funny that a certain s.s. can deal with one of the biggest regular problem customers you have with a straight face while making strangling motions with his hands every change he gets for fifteen minutes straight. That is no reason for the tech to enjoy a good laugh when you can't squat down next to her and join in.

Pharmasist make up about ninety percent of the laws and rules they cite to refuse customer's requests just to piss all those poor sick people off. No, really. And don't ask me to list what all that makes the rest of us for going along with them.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Still not sure why he wanted a male urinal. Who knows!

Ahem. My father in law (somewhat of a Crazy Old Man) has male urinals (the kind that look like small jugs with handles) in his living room and bedroom because "sometimes he gets the urge" and he can't get up fast enough or doesn't feel like getting up. Yes, I think it's gross. And funny. I don't know where he got them. Not at my pharmacy. We don't sell them either.

I have to go around and put them out of reach whenever I take my 2 year old daughter over to see Grandpa. The reason goes without saying.

 

[dgroulx]

Ahem. My father in law (somewhat of a Crazy Old Man) has male urinals (the kind that look like small jugs with handles) in his living room and bedroom because "sometimes he gets the urge" and he can't get up fast enough or doesn't feel like getting up. Yes, I think it's gross. And funny. I don't know where he got them. Not at my pharmacy. We don't sell them either.

I have to go around and put them out of reach whenever I take my 2 year old daughter over to see Grandpa. The reason goes without saying.

A friend of mine has one for long trips in the car. He puts a towel over his lap so no one can see. Why be uncomfortable until you find the next rest stop?

 

[All4MyDaughter]

A friend of mine has one for long trips in the car. He puts a towel over his lap so no one can see. Why be uncomfortable until you find the next rest stop?

I guess I can see the need for it in the car. My mother has bladder/urgency issues so I may be destined to as well someday.

I guess I'm just put off by the jugs o'pee sitting around my FIL's house.

 

[ndearwater]

Yeah I told my mom the story about the urinal man and now I feel like a *****! The whole time I'm picturing a huge, porcelain urinal like you'd find in an actual men's bathroom! HELLO!!!! I never thought about "male" bedpans- I just kept thinking of ripping the urinal out of the wall- I truly thought that guy was crazy.
Now I kind of feel bad! I was just taken off guard!

 

[ultracet]

Yeah I told my mom the story about the urinal man and now I feel like a *****! The whole time I'm picturing a huge, porcelain urinal like you'd find in an actual men's bathroom! HELLO!!!! I never thought about "male" bedpans- I just kept thinking of ripping the urinal out of the wall- I truly thought that guy was crazy.
Now I kind of feel bad! I was just taken off guard!

wow.....

really?

i think that makes this story really really funny....

 

[DownonthePharm]

Yeah I told my mom the story about the urinal man and now I feel like a *****! The whole time I'm picturing a huge, porcelain urinal like you'd find in an actual men's bathroom! HELLO!!!! I never thought about "male" bedpans- I just kept thinking of ripping the urinal out of the wall- I truly thought that guy was crazy.
Now I kind of feel bad! I was just taken off guard!

LOL...Dont feel stupid. Thats exactly what I thought when I read it. I was like..why would a guy call the pharmacy instead of home depot for that...unless he thought all body related issues go to the pharmacy.

Slightly offtopic: Someone actually called Sally Beauty Supply while I was there to ask if they carried an antibiotic eyedrop. The lady said "no you'll have to ask your doctor for that" What the??? What would possess them to call a BEAUTY store for that.

 

[ToDorNottoD]

Is there a universal law that dictates one must jones for their 120 vicodin five minutes to closing time on a Friday night (we're closed on weekends), and hope to God there is a refill on the prescription? You lucky bastard...

 

[Miss Creant]

I love this thread.

I used to be a tech.


"Sir, if you cannot wait 20 minutes for us to fill your Viagra, it's not going to do you any good."

 

[cognito]

No, I have no idea why your doctors office told you they caled in the medication, why, because I missed the class on psychic abilities in pharmacy school. And no, telling me that I'll be hearing from your lawyer if I gave your cough medicine to someone else will not make the prescription appear immediately. Lastly, No I will not page your doctor at 9pm for this urgent matter, but you are more than welcome to do so. No, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you.

 

[Sosumi]

I've learned so much from my patients, but here are a few that I can remember right now:
1. It's a good idea to pour bleach on your child's face to treat that fungal infection because you don't think you can afford to pay for the medicine and doctor's visit even though you have Medicaid.

2. You don't want to take that Depo Provera shot because you heard it can make you grow facial hair, become muscular, and deepen your voice.

3. A bad acupuncture session caused your ears to bleed, swell, redden, and crust.

4. No, people don't mind that you pull your pants down in front of the store so that I can see how big your boil has gotten.

5. Yes, we will gladly teach you how to pass that drug urine test.

6. Your best friend's neighbor's sister who dropped out of high school knows better than the pharmacist that you can treat your 2 month old child's cough with something.

 

[icemoose]

I'm a tech for a major pharmacy chain and I've learned the following in the past ten years:
1. It's always a good idea to drink your depo-provera before your gynecology appointment , that way the nurses and pharmacy staff won't think you're a complete idiot and be more than willing to refill it again and call your insurance for an override. God knows we don't want you reproducing.

2. Feel free to bring me RX's with blood, saliva, etc and God only knows what else on them. I do have a great immune system but come on have some common courtesy

3. Always ask the pharmacist/tech who's going to pay for the baby when you get pregnant because you're out of refills on your BC's--- you knew you needed them 28 days ago get a clue.

4. The louder your voice becomes (when arguing with the staff) is inversely proportionate to your intellegence or knowledge of your insurance policy

5. When forging prescriptions be sure to leave the photocopy marks, cut the rx unevenly, or use an inexpensive antibiotic (PCN) to make the rx for 40 Mepergan and 60 Vicodin look legitimate.

6. No your insurance will not cover your dog's prescription

 

[icemoose]

Here's several more:

Ask me for a case of bottled water in the drive thru. How in the world do you think I would get it out to you even if I was stupid enough to go and do your shopping?

When checking to see if an rx has been phoned in and you are told no always ask if the voice mail has been checked. This endears you to the pharmacy staff because we like for people to tell us how to do our jobs

Get all pissed off and rude when I tell you that you may not pick up your daughter/son's RX records. He's over 18 and I cannot do that! And I don't care if you pay for his insurance nor does HIPPA

Usually your RX deductible starts Jan 01, you really look like an idiot when complaining of your copay and we have to remind you of the deductible

Ask for the store manager if you don't get your way in the pharmacy, because we all know that they have the power to override the pharmacist, DEA and state regulations

 

[badphish]

Dont take for granted that people understand which end a medication should go in:
personal knowledge of:
suppositories being eaten
inserted in rectum with blister pack/foil still on
vaginal suppository inserted in urethra
keopectate dry mix swallowed wtih out reconstituting

be safe
brett

 

[buddyluv]

Katrina Evacuee comes to the pharmacy to get precription filled. Viagra is one of them. Pharmacist explains that viagra cannot be filled at this time because eligible drugs must be of high priority such as for hypertension, diabetes, asthma, infectious diseases, etc without which a person cannot survive. Man goes: Mr Pharmacist, VIAGRA is for my DIABETES, I will die tonight if I don't get some!!! Way to go bro

 

[PharmacyJan24]

What I really wanted to be when I grew up was a insurance claims representative. It was too hard to get into school for said field, so I decided on Pharmacy instead.

______

My favorite story:

We do a lot of Clozeril at my store, being across the street from a complex for adults with schizophrenia. They are all very nice people, but we can definately tell when they decide they are well and stop taking their medictions. Case in point:

Patient: What do I do with this **Hands me a tube of Preperation H***

I explain what Preperation H is, and why its used.

Patient: Well, Im not sure if I have hemorrhoids.

I then explain to her about hemorrhoids.

Patient: Well, its just hurts when I put things up there.



After I peel myself up off the floor, I ask her about what things she is talking about.

Patient: You know... stuff like potatoes...

I called her psych after that one.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Running a Visa check card though te register as credit rather than debit may cause the patient to go into bankruptcy.

Physician's wives are pharmacotherapy specialists.

 

[crossjb]

From manning drive-thru, I've learned that a frightening amount of old people on a slew of medications are on the road...

 

[icemoose]

From manning drive-thru, I've learned that a frightening amount of old people on a slew of medications are on the road...

They always drive very well also. Having to back up three or four time to get closer to the drive thru is always great or the opposite- run into the building while attempting to get as close as possible to the drive thru! Heck I had one lady ask me to fill out her check because she couldn't see due to the medication she was taking. What on earth possed her to drive to the pharmacy ?

 

[Miss Sushi]

OK I have a few good ones too from working in retail...

Please don't come in with a Zip-lock bag full of live lice and stick it in front of my face asking, "What are these, I found them on my kid's head..."

AND

No, you probably shouldn't use a douche on your dog, even though they are 2-for-1 today. How do you know your dog needs a douche anyway???



Recently overheard in a medication room in the hospital:
Nurse 1: Hey isn't Kadian for the heart?
Nurse 2: Yeah, I think so!
Nurse 1: Oh, ok that's what I thought!
*silence, nurses removing meds from PYXIS station...*
Me: Cardene is the heart med, Kadian is the pain med.
Nurses: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah.

 

[MeanDean]

Okay, the description above is a bit misleading. I'm the delivery guy for a large chain pharmacy.

Lesson One: Things Learned At The Pharmacy Itself

• No, the store will not purchase a 1971 Cutlass with spinner rims to do deliveries in, no matter how 'appropriate' such a vehicle might be.

• Neither will the store issue the driver one of those big stupid-looking puffy Oakland Raiders jackets.

• While there may be plenty of, ah, amateur pharmeceutical chemists in our area, we cannot cut costs by hiring one to produce prescription drugs. The great panalopy of drugs the pharmacy dispenses can't be cooked up in a fifth-wheel trailer parked in the truck bay.

• It doesn't matter if said amateur chemists could be paid in pseudoephedrine, red phosphorus, and candy bars: it's a matter of quality control.

• Do not refer to the dementia wards of nursing homes as 'Camp Snoopy', 'the puzzle factory', or 'strap-down acres'. At least not in public.

• At staff meetings, do not suggest that administrators of certain nursing homes are more in need of antipsychotic meds than their wards, even if the pharmacy staff privately agree.

• Really, really don't suggest those administrators would best serve the world by taking the whole jar at once.

• Do not joke about taking L-Dopa type meds to "the park" and selling them to the oxycontin freaks. It doesn't matter if the store would see a better return, or just funny to watch.

When picking up a run batch (a bunch of scrips for delivery) at the front counter...

• If a customer waiting complains about you cutting in line, the correct thing to do is explain, "I'm an employee." Do not say, "I'm allowed to do this because my insurance is better than yours."

• Also do not say, "My boyfriend doesn't mind," and point at the overweight, 60-ish, male pharmacist.

Here's one they wish they'd listened to me about:
The store is going through a major renovation. There are laborers all over the place, 24/7. The pharmacy is no longer secure by any stretch of the imagination, in that there is no more back door in place, between the pharmacy area and the warehouse. And funny, after-hours rent-a-cops who are getting paid $7.50 an hour don't take their jobs terribly seriously.
ME: "Ya know, maybe those quart bottles of paregoric should be moved from their present location (on a shelf right next to the now non-existent door)."
BOSS: "Nonsense. No one knows what paregoric is."
ME: "Anyone who has ever read William Burroughs knows what paregoric is."

Guess what somehow wandered off one night while the store was closed and new drywall was being hung...

 

[eddie269]

I have been on this board for 2 plus yrs yet I have never clicked on this thread until NOW! After working 6 weeks as a pharm clerk, I cannot help but laugh at these stories. I'll add on own:

-Me: The copay is $25.
-Him: No, impossible, my copay is ALWAYS $10. I never paid over $10 for my drugs. You must've done something wrong.
-Me: *checks computer for History. Shows he paid $25 past 2 months for this drug.* "Actually, it shows you paid $25 last time."
-Him: Oh really? Hmm, yeah, that's right.


-Cust: What's your date of birth?
-Him: 10/25/82.
-Cust: *checks comp and finds patient's bday is 10/25/81.*

-Cust.: Here for a pick up. Last name Wong.
-Me: checks the comp, nothing. Sorry maam, I don't see anything ready for you. Did you put an order in recently?
-Cust.: YES! YESTERDAY! UNDER WONG!!!! Go look again. Go check that "W" bin you have back there. It's for DRUG A and DRUG B!
-Me: *goes checks bin while she is watching me closely* Can I have your phone #? *types in phone number in computer. Finds out Wong is her MAIDEN name and her new last name is now Lee-Wong."


Cust: Here for a pick up.
Me: Last name? Sorry, nothing for you.
Cust: Wow, Everytime I come here, you guys never have it ready for me.
Me: When did you put the order in?
Cust: 3 WEEKS AGO!
Me: We have to put drugs back to stock after 7 days.
Cust: That's a stupid policy. I ALWAYS refill it 2-3 weeks early so I won't forget.

-And yes, when you have a new insurance card, please don't inform us. You are right, we should "know" of any changes in your policies without you informing us.

-And yes, please come to us at 5:00pm on a Friday demanding your script be filled RIGHT NOW because you have a flight at 6:00PM. And please get mad when we tell you the wait is 20-30 minutes and blame us when you won't have any pills for your trip.

-And yes, please get mad at us when the MD hasn't called us back to authorize the refill. It's surely our fault that he didn't call.

 

[ForgetMeNot]

-And yes, please come to us at 5:00pm on a Friday demanding your script be filled RIGHT NOW because you have a flight at 6:00PM. And please get mad when we tell you the wait is 20-30 minutes and blame us when you won't have any pills for your trip.

..and they've had the trip planned for 4 weeks. And had the prescription since January.

 

[UTfarmer]

An old man walks up to our counter, more like "gimps" up to the counter to be exact and asks our pharmacist: "You got any cockring?"
Our pharmacist tries so hard to keep a straight face and answers him with a "no." Then he asks "Where you got your denture cremes?"

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Tonight I learned:

When the pharmacist (who has, over the course of the day, eaten chili, pizza, onions, and various other treats) goes into the unisex and is in there more than 15 minutes, DO NOT go in there after he leaves. You MUST wait at least 20 minutes. The longer you can wait, the better.

 

[Shovingit]

Tonight I learned:

When the pharmacist (who has, over the course of the day, eaten chili, pizza, onions, and various other treats) goes into the unisex and is in there more than 15 minutes, DO NOT go in there after he leaves. You MUST wait at least 20 minutes. The longer you can wait, the better.

Should we make a "Things I learn from my pharmacist / tech." thread?

 

[icemoose]

Had a lady this week refuse to tell me her last name when she came to pick up her Rx. She told me to come and get her credit card in the drive thru and then I would know the name. I was across the pharmacy and asked her to spell the name for me (on a closed phone network not a speaker/microphone.) Here was her response "I'm not going to spell it. There are too many letters." Come to find out she's a physician with the good old "you're just a tech attitude."

Please feel free to come up to the counter and ask for a reccomendation for your feet because as you state "they seem to be disinegrating" And no I don't want to see them! EWW this is why I'm not a doctor

Don't make the techs mad because, you know we apparently have the power to activate or terminate your insurance coverage. I always refer to it as the "magic insurance termination finger" believe me if I could there would be some people terminated just for spite!

 

[Ijeoma]

Had a lady this week refuse to tell me her last name when she came to pick up her Rx. She told me to come and get her credit card in the drive thru and then I would know the name. I was across the pharmacy and asked her to spell the name for me (on a closed phone network not a speaker/microphone.) Here was her response "I'm not going to spell it. There are too many letters." Come to find out she's a physician with the good old "you're just a tech attitude."

Please feel free to come up to the counter and ask for a reccomendation for your feet because as you state "they seem to be disinegrating" And no I don't want to see them! EWW this is why I'm not a doctor

Don't make the techs mad because, you know we apparently have the power to activate or terminate your insurance coverage. I always refer to it as the "magic insurance termination finger" believe me if I could there would be some people terminated just for spite!

Stupid doctor!
Reminds me of the real story my philosophy teacher told me about (Mrs Ball) Lucy from “I love Lucy” and one of his female classmates. This made him hate Mrs Ball

Girl (stewardess on air plane): Ms Ball will you like something to eat? (excited to see a celebrity on the flight)

Ms. Ball: (ignores stewardess)

Girl: Ms. Ball? Would you like a snack?

Ms. Ball: (still not answering or even looking her way)

Ms. Ball’s security guard: Ms Ball does not speak to the help!


IMAGINE! That made me also not like the stupid Lucy!

 

[Ijeoma]

Had a lady this week refuse to tell me her last name when she came to pick up her Rx. She told me to come and get her credit card in the drive thru and then I would know the name. I was across the pharmacy and asked her to spell the name for me (on a closed phone network not a speaker/microphone.) Here was her response "I'm not going to spell it. There are too many letters." Come to find out she's a physician with the good old "you're just a tech attitude."

Please feel free to come up to the counter and ask for a reccomendation for your feet because as you state "they seem to be disinegrating" And no I don't want to see them! EWW this is why I'm not a doctor

Don't make the techs mad because, you know we apparently have the power to activate or terminate your insurance coverage. I always refer to it as the "magic insurance termination finger" believe me if I could there would be some people terminated just for spite!

Stupid doctor!
Reminds me of the real story my philosophy teacher told me about (Mrs Ball) Lucy from “I love Lucy” and one of his female classmates. This made him hate Mrs Ball

Girl (stewardess on air plane): Ms Ball will you like something to eat? (excited to see a celebrity on the flight)

Ms. Ball: (ignores stewardess)

Girl: Ms. Ball? Would you like a snack?

Ms. Ball: (still not answering or even looking her way)

Ms. Ball’s security guard: Ms Ball does not speak to the help!


IMAGINE!
That made me also not like the stupid Lucy!

 

[Mayday]

I'm surprised this thread didn't get stickyed, it's hilarious!

 

[WVUPharm2007]

It is reasonable to ask you pharmacist if Compound W is an effective treatment modality for skin cancer.

32% of all Vicodin in the country mysteriously winds up accidently being poured down the sink/toilet.

Your pharmacist knows that the reason you are bringing in your script 2 weeks early so that your insurance rejects the fill is because you are going on vacation to Europe. It is your right as an American to scream at him when he doesn't automatically assume this.

It is unconstitutional for patients to call the insurance company themselves to find out what their formulary is.

 

[pharmwannebe2]

to the mds, yes i went to pharmacy school for 6 years but that doesn't mean they offer a "how to read your customer's physican's prescription." class in pharmacy school. please print ILLEGABLY. not all of us like to keep calling the doctors about what your nonsense scribbles mean.

 

[Monarch]

If you are a doctor and it is Friday afternoon, and you don't quite know what you want to prescribe, just scribble and write even MORE illegibly. That way, the pharmacy will figure it out for you, and everybody wins.

If you are a nurse in a long term care facility, it is OK to page the pharmacist on call at 3am to ask what the rash on your belly might be. I mean, come on, you work the night shift, what else is there to do?

And my favorite memory:
Fake rubber boob enhancers that you put into a bra make a good Christmas present for your wife, especially when you waited until Christmas Eve to buy her something. And it would be good to stand there for at least 20 minutes feeling all the different pairs, to make sure you get her the set that is juuuust right. Rub the nipples on each pair and smile a little. That way, if you need any help picking some out, just ask the pharmacy! Because they will already know that you are a happy and careful customer, and they would be glad to help you make Christmas morning special!

 

[bananaface]

I'm surprised this thread didn't get stickyed, it's hilarious!

There is a link in the FAQ.

 

[pharmwannebe2]

don't be smart with the pharmacist (to all the patients that are) cause you will end up regretting it

to the drug addicts, pharmacist are probably smarter than you are due to the fact that they have their brain cells so just don't try and fake your little perscription....

for the last time just because i work at a cvs don't mean i know whether we sell green hair dye!

 

[icemoose]

Want to see a Meth junkie freak? Call a code for anything while ringing them up in the pharmacy. I called a code 3 -means change in our store- right after ringing up pse for a possible junkie. My inkling of thinking she was a junkie was confirmed when she almost jumped out of her skin while leaving the counter after her purchase.

When I ask if you have a new Rx card reply with yes, but then tell me you left it at home on the counter and NOTHING has changed on it- It is absolutely positively the same. Yeah this is why I can't get your insurance to work. Just because you don't notice the new Rx symbol in minature letters or symbols in the corner doesn't mean it hasn't changed.

 

[IMURPUSHER]

Noooo, I Got Two.
You Have 2 Prescriptions Ready Vicodin & Lipitor .
Customer: Ohh I Dont Have Enough Money So I'll Get The Vicodin Today....
It Never Fails.....lol

Yes Ma'm Your Co-payment Is A $1 Oh, You Mean Thats To Much The Regular Price Is $90.00, Ok I'll Call Your Doctor To Have It Changed......ahhhhh

This Drives Me Crazy It Cost More To Drive Back And Forth.!!! Crazy

 

[pharmwannebe2]

Noooo, I Got Two.
You Have 2 Prescriptions Ready Vicodin & Lipitor .
Customer: Ohh I Dont Have Enough Money So I'll Get The Vicodin Today....
It Never Fails.....lol

Yes Ma'm Your Co-payment Is A $1 Oh, You Mean Thats To Much The Regular Price Is $90.00, Ok I'll Call Your Doctor To Have It Changed......ahhhhh

This Drives Me Crazy It Cost More To Drive Back And Forth.!!! Crazy

patients need to stop bitching about co-pay. sorry but it is annoying.

 

[ashin]

patient brings in a prescription

Me: hi have you been to X pharmacy before
patient: No.
me: ok i'm going to have to create a profile for you, can you give me your name, birthdate.. etc..
patient: WHY!?!!
me: it's a standard procedure sir. we need to create a medical history for you in order to fill your prescription.
patient: I've NEVER been asked for my name birthday phone number etc before! why areyou asking me this?! is this only for X pharmacy? no other pharmacy has ever asked me for this! just fill it!

Me: i guarantee you that the other pharmacies do ask for this info before filling your perscription if you are a new patient

patient: no they don't. but other pharmacies.....
me: if you'd like you can go to the other pharmacies then...
*patient writing down all the info while grumbling to himself

later after his prescription is filled and he comes to buy his medication..

patient: so has anyone ever asked why you guys are the only ones that ask for this info.. i''ve never done that before...

Me: Sir, you've been here before.. meaning you've filled out this profile in the past....

patient: *looks down and turns red*.. oh......



********************************************************
funny one i've heard...

tech: Sorry your prescription has expired we will need to fax you doctor
Patient: BUT I NEED THIS TONIGHT! do you understand.. IF I DNO"T GET IT RIGHT NOW I"LL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if I do it'll be ALLL YOUR FAULT!!!!
tech: Sir... I guarantee you that you will not die from not taking one day of Ambien.

********************************************************
me: your total is $10
patient: $10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's ALWAYS $5!!
Me: I'm sorry mam.. if there's a problem you are going to have to contact your insurance company and ask them about any changes but this is what they are telling us for your copay on this medication.
patient: I want my prescription back you guys can't do anything right! I"m going to take it to another pharmacy!...........
Me:.. ok.........


to myself: haha leave our store please!!!
********************************************************
OH and although pharmacist are doctors..... it's doesn't mean you can bring in your 15 year old son, turn him around in front of the whole pharmacy, Lift his shirt and pull down his pants and ask the pharmacist what they think the rash is from.. and how to get rid of it.

 

[SailCrazy]

Stupid doctor!
Reminds me of the real story my philosophy teacher told me about (Mrs Ball) Lucy from “I love Lucy” and one of his female classmates. This made him hate Mrs Ball

Girl (stewardess on air plane): Ms Ball will you like something to eat? (excited to see a celebrity on the flight)

Ms. Ball: (ignores stewardess)

Girl: Ms. Ball? Would you like a snack?

Ms. Ball: (still not answering or even looking her way)

Ms. Ball’s security guard: Ms Ball does not speak to the help!


IMAGINE!
That made me also not like the stupid Lucy!

I'm not sure if you're kidding our not... but just in case you're not, I'll point out that this "story" has been told about countless celebrities, as well as simply being told as a (fictitious) joke without using any specific person's name...