Things I Learn from My Patients.

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You might want to educate her that Advair isn't to be used as a rescue or "reliever" medication! She needed to get a hold of her Albuterol!!!
 
Not a pharmacist or a medical professional - I found my way here via a link e mailed by a friend who knows I appreciate this kind of humor.😛

You want me to flavor your augmentin suspension with "black angus beef"? Miss, that flavor is reserved for veterinary patients. No, tuna is not an acceptable substitute although you like tuna very much.

If you insist, I will do it, free of charge. You can't bring it back if you don't like it.

Wait... you actually have flavors like "Black Angus Beef" and "Tuna"? No, seriously - fer reals?? 😱

Because when I asked them at CVS if they had any cat-friendly flavors that would mask the taste of Clavamox, they said "No".

Clavamox is something that cats don't like. It's bright pink and smells like bubblegum. After getting no help from my friendly CVS pharmacist, I decided to call Pfizer to ask them why they decided that bubblegum would be an appropriate flavor for a drug that is clearly labeled For veterinary use only and that comes with a patient insert with prescribing instructions for dogs and cats only (in other words, this is not a drug with possible human pediatric uses).

The phone call to Pfizer went like this:

Me: What on Earth were your R&D people smoking when they decided that bubblegum flavor is something that cats really like?

Pfizer Rep: Hold on, I'll check on that. [puts me on hold for a minute] "Ma'am? Clavamox isn't bubblegum-flavored. It's banana-flavored. I looked it up.

Me: Uh... and cats like banana, do they?

Pfizer Rep: [...]

Me: Don't you think that cats might prefer chicken or fish to banana?

Pfizer Rep: Well... yeah, I guess so. I'll make a note in the computer for future reference.

Me:
banghead.gif


Yeah.

Oh, and mad props to the Target pharmacist who's keeping Leukeran in stock just for our cat who has lymphoma. He told me today that he realized he was running low last week and ordered a new bottle because he knew Kiki would be needing a refill soon. I asked him if she's the only one he's got taking it and he said "yes". I know there are some people who wouldn't bother with all that effort for a "mere" cat. Well, that "mere cat" is like a child to me and I really, really appreciate it. 😀
 
Not a pharmacist or a medical professional - I found my way here via a link e mailed by a friend who knows I appreciate this kind of humor.😛



Wait... you actually have flavors like "Black Angus Beef" and "Tuna"? No, seriously - fer reals?? 😱

Because when I asked them at CVS if they had any cat-friendly flavors that would mask the taste of Clavamox, they said "No".

Clavamox is something that cats don't like. It's bright pink and smells like bubblegum. After getting no help from my friendly CVS pharmacist, I decided to call Pfizer to ask them why they decided that bubblegum would be an appropriate flavor for a drug that is clearly labeled For veterinary use only and that comes with a patient insert with prescribing instructions for dogs and cats only (in other words, this is not a drug with possible human pediatric uses).

The phone call to Pfizer went like this:

Me: What on Earth were your R&D people smoking when they decided that bubblegum flavor is something that cats really like?

Pfizer Rep: Hold on, I'll check on that. [puts me on hold for a minute] "Ma'am? Clavamox isn't bubblegum-flavored. It's banana-flavored. I looked it up.

Me: Uh... and cats like banana, do they?

Pfizer Rep: [...]

Me: Don't you think that cats might prefer chicken or fish to banana?

Pfizer Rep: Well... yeah, I guess so. I'll make a note in the computer for future reference.

Me:
banghead.gif


Yeah.

Oh, and mad props to the Target pharmacist who's keeping Leukeran in stock just for our cat who has lymphoma. He told me today that he realized he was running low last week and ordered a new bottle because he knew Kiki would be needing a refill soon. I asked him if she's the only one he's got taking it and he said "yes". I know there are some people who wouldn't bother with all that effort for a "mere" cat. Well, that "mere cat" is like a child to me and I really, really appreciate it. 😀

Ok, so you need All4myDaughter's avatar. I love that one.
 
phone ring...

me: xxxxxxx pharmacy.
lady: did my insurance call?
me: hello?? who's this on the phone??

as if i know who the hell she is...argh!! 😡
 
Me: "Your Rx is ready [for plan B]. I just need your address, phone number, and insurance info [new customer]"
Very young couple: (blankly staring at each other) Female asks: Are you going to tell our parents??
 
I have two:

Patient: "Where's the alprazolam?"
Me: **confused**
Patient: I need to grab some alprazolam off the shelf, where do you sell it?
Me: **still blank, and confused**
Patient: You know, you use it to thin your blood, and cardiac patients use it?
Me: Aspirin?!
Patient: Yeah, alprazolam, aspirin - whatever - same thing.
Me: **doh!**

Another one:
Patient: What do you mean my Rx isn't ready?
Me: Ma'am it's 2 weeks early, your insurance won't cover it.
Patient: But I'm leaving for vacation in like 1 hour. What am I going to do - go without my meds?
Me: I can call the insurance company for an override.
Patient: Why didn't you do this earlier?
Me: Did you tell anyone that you needed this done? Anyone else know you were leaving for vacation?
Patient: No.
Me: Then how am I supposed to know?
Patient: Walks away, embarassed. =)
 
Hahaha, these are funny.
I am not a pharmacist, but whenever I go to pick up a prescription that is waiting for me I *ALWAYS* feel like I get stuck behind the stupid person!

I love the people who think that their prescriptions should be magically waiting for them.....when they have not given the pharmacist the script yet. And THEN they get mad that the person behind the counter is helping me b/c all I want to do is pick up and PAY <gasp> for my prescription. :laugh:
 
Be sure to punch in your RX number for a refill as soon as you hear the words "Hello?"
 
Dont tell me you plan to go to Mexico for Valium because you are convinced your Ativan isnt doing the trick
 
Last one:

A patient called in for refills on his Zerit, Sustiva, Epivir, and Cialis.
 
these are hilarious...

good to see so many pharmacists with good senses of humor... something to look forward to on this journey........
 
Phone Etiquette:

Phone rings.
Me: So-N-So Pharmacy, May I help you?
Patient: Are you open?
Me: Yes (why would I answer the phone, dingbat?)
Patient: Who's this?
Me: This is the pharmacist.
Patient: Are you sure?


What I would like to respond with: No, a-hole, I play one on tv.


lol the last part is so funny :laugh::laugh:
 
A customer pull up to the drive through at exactly 10 pm when we were suppose to close and ask for their medication which worth $10.99. When he found out the med wasn't $4 like Walmart started to lecture us about pharmacist suppose to help people and ended with "wondering why you guy aren't out of business."

A patient started to scream at us for no refilling her pain medication when obviously she's two weeks early. She told us she wouldn't recommend us to any dogs and we should help people out when they need their med.
Patient: You should be nice like me, I lend out my pain medication when people needed them.
Pharmacist: ...

Customer: I don't have my child Medicaid information, called the insurance company and find out, if you can't I'm going to a different pharmacy.
Me: ...
 
:Memorial day and we are the only pharmacy open in town:

Patient walks up and throws a empty prescription bottle in my direction, and yells at me to fill it. It's from a different pharmacy that is closed today. I asked if he has eve gotten anything filled at our pharmacy and he says no. I explain to him that I can't fill it without a prescription from a doctor, that it is illegal. He argues with that all the information I need is on the prescription bottle, and it says very clearly that he has two refills of the medication on the other pharmacy's bottle. I explain to him that I have no way of knowing what other medication he is on, if his doctor decided to stop this specific medication or change the dose. He screams at me that no doctor ever stops blood pressure medication for patients, and he's been without the medication for 3 days (hmmm... because his pharmacy was closed for 3 days???!?), and if he dies it's my fault. I explain to him that if he wants to stop by the emergency room and get a prescription, we would be more than happy to fill his medication
 
I can definately relate to a lot if not all the post in this thread being that I work in a retail chain and no other than the All Mighty Walmart!!!! The one scenario that always seems to happen everyday no matter what is this...

Customer: Do you guys have any prilosec(insert desired product)?

Me: Yes ma'am if we do it'll be on the third row, on the left.

After minutes of looking on the second row to the right, pt comes back..
Customer: I didn't find it , you think you can help me?

Me: Yes ma'am.... We seem to be out of it.. it goes right in this empty spot.

Customer: O ok.. thank you.

Five minutes later same patient comes back to the window...
Customer: Is there a pharmacist on duty? I have a consultation?

Pharmacist: Yes ma'am can I help you?

Customer: Do you have any prilosec?

Pharmacist to me: Can you see if you have any prilosec???

Me: No we do not..( to pharmacsit:I let her know that already!!!)

Pharmacist to customer: No ma'am we're out of stock

Customer: O ok thank you for your help😱


WTH!!!😕😕 What am I? ******ed? As if his words are more true than mine.... O how I weary of the world of retail.. yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything😀
 
Just wondering what a pharm does in a situation like this? Do pharms have the power to confiscate prescriptions from drug-seekers in a situation like this?
In texas the pharmacist can do whatever he/she wants to with the Rx. As an ER nurse we get multiple calls from pharmacists to confirm scripts..... and we LOVE you guys for it.
Thanks for the great catches
 
These are hilarious!!! Us techs don't always have it so great!!
 
It's not so clever to
1. Call and ask for the cost of 10 Dilaudid, then act shocked when it's XX.XX. (Let's say $15)
2. Call an hour later and ask for the cost of 4 Dilaudid, which is $7.99.
3. Show up half an hour later (after doctor hours, natch) with a traced-over RX for exactly 4 Dilaudid. I guess you only have 8 bucks on you, huh?
4. Oh yeah, you were just in the local paper for arrest for forging prescriptions.


If you are shaking like a leaf, stare at my scanner and ask if it can detect fake scrpts, and want to fill your methadone 2 weeks early, don't be surprised if we insist on talking to your doctor.

If you are out of refills, call a couple days before your meds run out! You will not get fast service if you wait until 4 pm on a Friday to tell us that you need refills. We'll call the doctor, but if you call at 5 pm and the doctor hasn't called back, it's not necessary to call back at 6 pm, 7 pm, and 8 pm. Especially if I tell you I will call YOU. And if YOU keep calling the doctors office and getting a "closed for the weekend" message, we do too!

If your copays have gone from 2 to 3 dollars, I don't have much sympathy for you.

Before you call the pharmacy accusing us of stealing your meds from the bag before dispensing, check your car floor! 100% of the time (no, really, 100% in my experience), we gave you the meds and then you misplaced them/left them in a shopping cart/dropped them on the car floor. Oh, there they are, right under the seat? Shocking. You can apologize any time now.
 
My doc said I need to double up on my medication, so I want to get a refill early.

Sir, your insurance won't cover a refill this soon, so your total is going to be $150.

What do you mean WON'T COVER IT?

It means you have to pay.

But my DOCTOR said I NEED it!!!

Sir I'm not your insurance company. You'll need a new prescription from your physician.

FINE, TAKE MY CREDIT CARD. THANKS FOR NOTHING.

You're very welcome sir.
 
Last one:

A patient called in for refills on his Zerit, Sustiva, Epivir, and Cialis.

That is the scariest thing that I've read all day.

Hopefully that person is in a monogamous relationship (with an aware partner). If not, the doctor that prescribed that is doing public health a disservice.
 
That is the scariest thing that I've read all day.

Hopefully that person is in a monogamous relationship (with an aware partner). If not, the doctor that prescribed that is doing public health a disservice.

I used to see this all the time when I worked in Miami... now in central Florida, I've seen it at least once. VERY ScaRY!!
 
I think I may be in love with all of you.

Bzzzzz, unexpectedly dry wit. 🙄
 
1) I'm sorry that you are out of your 2mg alprazolam, but you just picked up 120 and twenty yesterday, and no it doesn't matter if you just pay cash.
2) I don't care how stupid your doctor is Im not changing your prescription just because that's not what you wanted.
3)Yes, generic is the same as brand, no matter what color it is.
4) No matter how many times you call, your percocet will still be 42 dollars.
5)No matter how many times your boyfriend calls your percocet will still be 42 dollars.
6) No, I can't give you a couple oxycodone until you can get to the doctor... no not "hydros" either.
7) Transfering you prescription to or from another pharmacy does not mean you can get it before it is due.
8) If you alter a prescription, we aren't going to fill it, not even for what it was supposed to be for.
9) If you haven't had a bowel movement in 3 days after taking several enemas, drinking magnesium citrate, and taking stool softeners, yes I would reccomend going to the ER.
10) No I will not call every pharmacy in town to find out if they have "the purple ones"
 
Pt: I need to refill my constipated estrogens (Premarin)

Pt: I put the contraceptive jelly on my toast and it didn't work! I got pregnant!!!!!!

Doctor talking to husband, because wife does not speak english. Husband is to translate to wife.
Doctor to Husband: I'm going to prescribe a pill for you to prevent pregnancy, take 1 tablet every day.

Two months later, the husband and wife come back. She's pregnant!!
The husband was taking the pills everyday.
Next time, if your not sure what the doctor is communicating, best ask again to clarify. When the husband came back to complain to the doctor, he was able to hit the high notes..
 
Pt: My blood glucose monitor is broken. It happens every single year and I have to buy a new one. What a cheap piece o crap!

Tech: You know these have batteries that have to be replaced periodically, right??
 
If you have limited english proficiency, it's not a good idea to answer yes to everything. It could put you in danger and it doesn't always make sense.

Tech: Do you have any drug allergies?
Pt: Yes

Tech: OK, what are you allergic to?
Pt: Yes

Tech: Tienes alergia a alguna medicina?
Pt: Ah.... no, no tengo alergia.

Take 2
Same patient

Doctor: Would you like to be castrated?
Pt: Yes
Doctor: OK, sign here.
Pt: Yes

:laugh:
 
Kinda pharmacy related:

Pt: this is a little embarrassing but do you have condoms for smaller sizes?
Tech: with a straight face goes: hold on, let me just check; goes to lead tech, ask.

Tech comes back: i'm sorry sir but what we have on the shelf is all we have.
Pt: hurried away.

It was so funny and unusually - we've never encountered that.

Today in the drive thru:
Pt: do you guys have (names a PERFUME!!!)
Tech: hold on, let me check with the beautician.
(comes back) yes we do have that brand.
Pt: ok I guess i'll come in.

GEEZ i really hate the drive thru window --- esp now with the super cold weather
 
pt: comes in asking for xxxx
me: your doctor never faxed it over yet
pt:he said he did it 5 hours ago!!

Suddenly i'm the bad guy when it's completely out of my control.
Atleast 5 times a day this occurs.
 
customer: I have three insurances which ones is the cheapest
Me: which ever one has the lowest copay
customer; try all of them and tell me which ones is cheapest.
Me; surrree,,(are you serious, to add to its the five oclock rush of faxes and customers.
customer; ahh i think its to expensive i dont really need it now.
 
phone rings
me: thank you for calling XXX pharmacy, how may i help you?
customer: yes, i need to get a refill
me: sure, do you have the prescription number?
customer: yes, (gives me her telephone number)

arghhh 😕 i get these at least once a day
 
Tech: Sorry we tried to process your prescription but it came back rejected saying your insurance expired in 2003. Do you have a new prescription card?
Pt: Yes. *Stares blankly back*
Tech: Umm... May I see it?...
Pt: Ok, I guess...

Like we're supposed be psychically connected to insurance or something.. 😕
 
Tech: Sorry we tried to process your prescription but it came back rejected saying your insurance expired in 2003. Do you have a new prescription card?
Pt: Yes. *Stares blankly back*
Tech: Umm... May I see it?...
Pt: Ok, I guess...

Like we're supposed be psychically connected to insurance or something.. 😕


I like when people call and ask if they can get a refill, but they don't have the rx number.
Me: "Okay, I can look it up by your name."
Them: "Okay."
Me: "Umm... can I have your name please?"
Them: "Joe."
Me: "...Joe, may I have your full name please?"
Them: "Smith."
Me: "Okay Mr. Smith, what can I get for you?"
Them: "I need my medicine!"
Me: "Can I have the name of the medication please?"
Them: "little white pill/the stuff for my heart/whatever I got last time/I think it starts with an L maybe"
Me: "Do you mean X?"
Them: "I don't know, sure."
Me: "Okay, let's make sure this runs through your insurance. It looks like your insurance is expired - do you have new coverage?"
Them: "Yes."
Me: *waits 5 beats* "Can you bring in the new card please?"
Them: "It's Anthem!"

It's totally reasonable to expect me to recognize your voice over the phone, decide what medications you need, magically know that you have new insurance coverage, and not give me the new card, and expect me to fill your prescription. To top it off, make me guess when you'll pick it up, that's fun! Say "sometime this afternoon" but really mean "In 5 minutes" or "3 weeks from now" - and then you'll be ticked off that we have put your medication back to stock.

Off to practice my psychic powers now!
 
i love getting these...

(person walks in looking rather meth-ish)

addict...i mean, customer: hi, do you guys have aprodine...

me: no, sir. we have discontinued carrying that product thanks to new policies and regulations

customer: well how much is that XXXX (something containing pseudoephed.)

me: its seven dollars

customer: can you order me some aprodine???

me: why??? so you can take it back to your lab to continue your addiction, and sell it to little kids???

wait... that's just what i am thinking in my head.... i don't say that out loud

my real response: im sorry, i don't think we can get that anymore.

customer: da*n

me: have a nice day!
 
The customer presents me with a script for methadone from the addiction medicine clinic next door and is waiting while I process it.

Customer: Can I ask you something? The other day, I bought a 100 mg MS Contin from this guy. You know, the grey ones?

Me: Yes.

Customer: Well I did it (shows me the scab over his subclavian, his preferred route of injection) and it didn't do nothing for me. Was I ripped off?

Me: Ummmm...
 
My favorite are the people who request a refill, call 1 hour later and nothing has changed, then tell you just to fill it "it's the same as always".
 
Woman at pharmacy counter: "Yes, I would like ten regular stamps, please. And five for Europe."

Me: "Sorry ma'am; we don't sell stamps here."

Woman (indignant): "What do you MEAN, you don't sell stamps here?? What DO you sell??"

Me: "This is a drugstore, ma'am. We sell drugs."

Woman departs in a huff. People waiting for prescriptions: :laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Just a few we get,

Glaring at the pharmacist and techs while they work on your prescriptions does not make them work faster.

Just because your Dr. told you he called/faxed that Rx in X hours ago, doesn't mean he did.

Yelling at the cashier about your $7 copay going up to $10 and then having them break a $100 will not win you brownie points.

Many things go into filling an Rx, we don't just "grab one of those bottles off the shelf there."

If I ask to see your drivers license, I have a reason...I don't just like to look at pictures of random people.

When complaining to the pharmacy staff about how horrible your insurance is, please try to keep in mine that there are many people in the world that would love to be able to afford insurance.

There are hundreds of "little white pills" in the pharmacy, do us a favor and keep a list of what you take in your wallet.

When you ask a tech a question and you get an answer you don't like, don't be surprised if you get the exact same answer from the pharmacist.

Just because you get prescriptions at our pharmacy does not entitle you to make unreasonable demands of our staff, even if your prescriptions are the sole reason our store is still open/you should have stock options in our company b/c of how much you have spent here/you have been coming here since 5 years before this store was actually open/you play golf with the 2nd cousin of the friend of the owner of our company.

🙄
 
Actual conversations I have had

Pt: Hi, I'm here to pick up prescription for john doe
Me (after looking and checking the computer): I don't see anything that was done was it a refill?
Pt: No the doctor was calling it in
Me (after double-checking with the pharm to see if they got a call): We didn't receive anything for you from your doctor.
Pt: You should have


Pt: I need to get this refilled (hands me an advair)
Me (after asking her name): okay, it'll be about 10 minutes.
Pt: That long for that!?
Me: Yes
Pt: ....
5 minutes later:
Me: M'am, we don't have this (giving her back an advair) on file for you here.
Pt: I used to get it from X X didn't you guys transfer that over with the other prescriptions.
Me: No, only what you asked for last time.
Pt: Well I need it, I'm out. And I REFUSE to go back to that other pharmacy.
Pharmacist: We can call them but it's going to be a while
Pt: Fine
 
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