"Things I learn" & "Medicine Sucks" discussion thread

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
MikeWilliamson said:
Acquaintance of mine lost three fingers that way. Chemist, works for the water dept. Should have known better.
Click to expand...
Most of the time, "should have known better" applies to MOST serious accidents (and minor ones, come to think about it). Isn't that the whole point to Darwinian Selection?
Members don't see this ad.
 
Wife's co-worker, who was formerly doing a "shaved-head-and-viking-beard" fashion no-no, taught the residents of a college town sports bar a life lesson this weekend.

When sporting 9" of chin-rat, do NOT simultaneously demonstrate your "Trolli" doll impression and do a flaming shooter (that's right, this idiot, on top of having no fashion sense, forgot the basic rules that heat rises, and hair burns).....standing on his hands, goes to blow out the shot, turning his face "up" to the floor to do so, sucks flame TO beard when inhaling to blow it out. Blows flame on shot out, but AFTER his beard started demonstrating its combustibility, got half the shot down before realizing it, snort/sprayed it all over (upon which moment, the spreading alcohol mist went up, leading flame to the "dribbles" on his face).

No more chin-rat (probably nevermore, as if he attempts to grow it back after the burns heal, it's going to be awfully patchy).

We wonder what's happening to our youth....well, they're being raised by college graduates in technological fields who make such faux paus, and are being educated by people who MARRY these folks (yes, his wife is a teacher....a SCIENCE teacher!).


Good thing I didn't go to this party as a zombie, I'd have definitely been leaving hungry. As is apparent, brains were a low-access commodity on Saturday evening.
 
docB said:
Just because you've heard of people referring to getting treated for their STDs as "getting their pipes cleaned" does not mean you should shove an actual pipe cleaner into your urethra if you think you have an infection.
Click to expand...

Oh, *bleep* me. I read this once, and then had to read it again to make sure I saw what I thought I saw.

I'm still squirming over that one. I think I'll just go cross my legs until that mental picture goes away. Jesus.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
God, that sounds like last Wednesday at work.

Delivery to a customer (God help that person's poor doctor....), who is bent out of shape that the pharmacy will be closed the next day. You know, Thanksgiving.

Upon receiving a nonplussed look from me, customer whines, "My Lortab can't be filled till tomorrow, and I NEED my Lortab. You should be open and delivering, so I can get my Lortab!"

I said, "So, what you're really saying is that your Lortab is more important than our limited time off, to spend with our families?"

Customer says, "Well, when you put it THAT way, you make me sound like an a-hole!"

Cue eye-roll from me, and, "You didn't need any help from me."

I feel so sorry for that person's doctor. I really do. I can't imagine that this customer is any easier to deal with as a patient.
 
Not a doctor, but i married one, which i figure counts as partial credit.

Anyway, two stories, which are nowhere near as funny as the other stuff in this thread.

--

First: when i started dating my future husband, he was an MS3 in the Bronx. When i'd come up from Manhattan to see him, he'd meet me at the subway station so i didn't have to walk alone through some seedy neighborhoods. One day, i get a text from him that says, 'meet at other exit. will explain later.' I dutifully go to the other exit, and as we walk back to student housing, he explains that when he was doing neuro, the attending said that the worst cases he ever saw all had stories that started with, "So there were these two dudes...' When he came to the subway station that day, there were these two dudes loitering near the place we usually met, and he decided to err on the side of caution.

--

Second: we took our 13-month-old baby to the peds ED in the middle of the night because he vomited blood. It was a madhouse, of course. Two patients cycled through the other bed in our room.

pt1: a 3-year-old brought in by the mother because the kid has a black eye. (I actually saw it, due to how tiny the room was, and it was more of a slightly-pinkish-on-the-cheek than a true black eye.) Mom explains to the doc that he banged his face on a statue while roughhousing at church that morning, which is something like 18 hours ago at that point. The kid is quiet, but the mom keeps telling the docs that he's in a lot of pain.
EM Resident: have you given him any tylenol or anything?
Mom: No.
They were discharged with dosing instructions for children's tylenol and suggestion of trying a cold compress or something.

pt2: Obese 17-year-old complaining of worst stomach pain ever. 10/10, of course. He's just lounging on the bed playing games on his cell phone, no external indication of discomfort.
EM Resident: Have you eaten anything recently?
Patient: Well, i stopped by McDonalds and got a supersize combo, 'cuz i heard there might be a long wait here.
He was discharged with a diagnosis of indigestion and a suggestion to lay off the fast food and not eat right before bed time.

--

It's that you guys have to put up with garbage like that in addition to all the things people 'lose' in their rectum that makes you ED folks superstars. I'm trying to figure out how to send pizzas to the ED that treated me a few months ago so it comes from the pizza place directly (less creepy, i'd hope, than food brought in by a random person off the street) but without anyone there having to sign for it.
 
Chronic Student said:
If you only knew how many innocent people climb on ladders, naked and then fall on beer bottles, shampoo bottles, their friends vibrators, fruit and vegetable plates, turkey basters, hot wheels, small animals, gumballs, army men, pens, cooking utensils, etc. and are seriously injured you would not be so cavalier about it.

These poor folks were just minding their own business when these 'freak' accidents happen.
Click to expand...

After reading this forum, i can't help but suggest a variant of SOCMOB: COLNMOB.
 
In Rego Park, one volunteer ambulance partnered with a four-wheel-drive Suburban to patrol streets. About midnight, they were flagged down on Queens Boulevard and 62nd Drive, where bystanders said they had called 911 three hours earlier for a man lying face up in the snow.



He was unconscious but still alive, suffering from severe hypothermia, said Ron Cohen, the public information officer for the Forest Hills Volunteer Ambulance Corps. The emergency workers carried him about a block to the vehicle, and he made it to the hospital alive. “I think a short time longer and he may not have been,” Mr. Cohen said.
Click to expand...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/29/nyregion/29hospitals.html?emc=eta1


Are New Yorkers so !@#$ CALLOUS and STUPID they can't figure out how to take someone inside and give them a warm drink?
 
Last edited:
MikeWilliamson said:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/29/nyregion/29hospitals.html?emc=eta1


Are New Yorkers so !@#$ CALLOUS and STUPID they can't figure out how to take someone inside and give them a warm drink?
Click to expand...

Rendar5 said:
...u're pissed off that people didn't carry a large unconscious man over snow, up a flight of stairs into their apartment and pour hot water into his unconscious mouth? Sounds like a recipe for a much worse outcome.
Click to expand...

Especially when he wakes up and finds out that you're attempting to drown him. I'd be pretty pissed.
 
kajunman said:
B-52
benadryl 50, haldol 5 and ativan 2 in the same syringe....can even be injected through blue jeans.
Click to expand...

I'd be out cold for a month with that much drug injected into my butt. :sleep::sleep::sleep::sleep:
 
silea said:
It's that you guys have to put up with garbage like that in addition to all the things people 'lose' in their rectum that makes you ED folks superstars. I'm trying to figure out how to send pizzas to the ED that treated me a few months ago so it comes from the pizza place directly (less creepy, i'd hope, than food brought in by a random person off the street) but without anyone there having to sign for it.
Click to expand...

OTish: You can order pizza online or by phone and use your credit card and put a tip on it. So no signature.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
atkinsje said:
Most places still make you sign the slip when it's delivered.
Click to expand...

Continuing the OT-ness: you could go to the pizza place to order and pay/sign in advance. Not as convenient for you, but it would hopefully accomplish what you're trying to do.
 
emedpa said:
if you are about to be pulled over for dui and have your stash handy hide it in your vagina. then when you get out of jail 2 days later have sex with your boyfriend before going to the er to have the baggie removed...and then ask for the baggie back because "hey, the stuff is still good...."
Click to expand...

Ah, the lady purse. Never leave home without it.
 
emedpa said:
if you are about to be pulled over for dui and have your stash handy hide it in your vagina. then when you get out of jail 2 days later have sex with your boyfriend before going to the er to have the baggie removed...and then ask for the baggie back because "hey, the stuff is still good...."
Click to expand...

Who are these women with such cavernous vaginas that they can't just reach up there and retrieve it themselves? Oh, wait. I forgot that's gross.
 
Snowback said:
...Do not, DO NOT, DO NOT, get the bright idea to help by stepping between an approximately 75 y/o Asian man who is 5’2” and at least 90 lbs and the doors of tx rooms when his son has been hit by a drunk driver, even if the triage nurse is saying he can’t go in there. Your 6’4” 255 lb unarmed combat instructor ass will see many bright lights, feel excruciating pain in so many places you will think it can’t possibly be happening and you will most certainly fall down. However, while you are trying to remember what planet you are on the gentleman will bow and apologize continuously for the next hour.
Click to expand...

Out of curiosity, this wouldn't be in the Seattle area, would it? Sounds a hell of a lot like my high school judo teacher, also a former boxer, wrestler and Olympic coach. (Ten years makes my memory a little hazy, but I think he also mentioned karate and aikido.)
 
If you steal someone's prescription pad, be aware that "Mofine" isn't usually prescribed by the unit "pound" (as in "A pound of Mofine")


THAT is Epic.
 
toooldforthis said:
If you steal someone's prescription pad, be aware that "Mofine" isn't usually prescribed by the unit "pound" (as in "A pound of Mofine")


THAT is Epic.
Click to expand...

It is also an urban legend. Besides...anyone who would do this would write for "Dillawdud" anyway.
 
gutonc said:
It is also an urban legend. Besides...anyone who would do this would write for "Dillawdud" anyway.
Click to expand...

When they start with the "it starts with a 'D' - uh, duh, duhlo ..." I smile and say "Well, why didn't you say so in the in the first place? You want Dolobid. I'd be happy to write you a script for that."

They're probably pretty happy until they fill the script. Heh.
 
tkim said:
When they start with the "it starts with a 'D' - uh, duh, duhlo ..." I smile and say "Well, why didn't you say so in the in the first place? You want Dolobid. I'd be happy to write you a script for that."

They're probably pretty happy until they fill the script. Heh.
Click to expand...

it's all in the pronunciation though...dolAHbid not dolObid....:)
 
MikeWilliamson said:
During the Gulf War, we learned that it is possible for a soldier to filter methanol based aircraft fluids through a loaf of bread to make them potable. The vomiting, hallucinations and writhing GI distress that occurs is clearly unrelated, and probably caused by the food, the desert heat or some Iraqi nerve "gas." It can't be due to the methanol, because he properly filtered it just the way his buddy told him to.
Click to expand...


Jeeze...and we just packed the barrels of all the Abrahms tanks tasked to our mixed armored/mech infantry unit with bottles of Jack Daniels prior to loading them on the boats (approximately 87% arrived intact).

A bit more expensive, but MUCH safer!

Well...sort of...to get more thoroughly drunk, on less, many soldiers took to snorting small amounts nasally...a bunch of inebriated, high strung, underage drinkers, armed to their teeth, in a war zone, on night guard, may not have been *technically* "safe"...but no people were shot accidentally (had a panic where passive/active IR night vision and inebriation combined to have one man go into screaming paranoia about an invasion of Iraqis, all equipped with "tactical lights" (the desert rats travel in packs, their lights reflect the active IR, making them appear to be light sources...add alcohol and a scared kid, things get active, FAST)
 
MikeWilliamson said:
During the Gulf War, we learned that it is possible for a soldier to filter methanol based aircraft fluids through a loaf of bread to make them potable. The vomiting, hallucinations and writhing GI distress that occurs is clearly unrelated, and probably caused by the food, the desert heat or some Iraqi nerve "gas." It can't be due to the methanol, because he properly filtered it just the way his buddy told him to.
Click to expand...

:eek: Yeah, I believe we treated a few of those too. Hope most don't reproduce.
Just my $.02
 
I've learned through self-experience that the nice doctors don't like it when you mention ignoring blood in the stools.

You will get not only a CT but also an appointment for a colonoscopy and will not end up having a nice month.
 
Kerosene, ha!
 
LaCirujana said:
I learned that if you're a C6 quad with a poorly controlled TBI-induced seizure disorder (from MVC 14 years ago), it's a bad idea to drive. Chances are good you'll have a seizure, ram into the back of a semi at highway speed, roll your van and turn yourself into a C3 quad.
Click to expand...


Wait, what is a quadraplegic doing driving?

Texting? Cell phone? Slaved to the joystick on the chair?
 
dpmd said:
If stabbed by a bird with a knife strapped to it during a cockfight it may be best to seek medical attention early. Your family members aren't going to want to deal with having to explain to people how you died.
Click to expand...
You gotta love Tulare County. I suppose the lesson is that if you're going to try to stage a cock fight you really should be smarter than the chickens.
 
and i've learned that ER docs have a great sense of humor, awesome thread :laugh:
 
Yet another thanks to local medical personnel...wife works, I don't/can't, due to the neuro issue I mentioned quite a while back (which has been determined to be a toxicity issue of unknown origin...with consensus being it's related to military service exposures...good news, for me, sort of)...

So, since wife works, when my eldest came down ill recently, I ended up being his escort to the ER (uncontrollable fever, vomiting, cramping, swollen glands)...so I've got a VERY sick young teen sitting in ER in the middle of the night on a Saturday (they never get sick like this during the week...ever notice that?), and, while he's being examined/treated, the nystagmus I get from the neuro issues starts to happen...violently. Total inability to see properly, to navigate unfamiliar territories, and so on.

Staff noticed, and was concerned enough to make certain I had no intention of driving with the displayed inability to function, had a staffer volunteer to move my car to non-ED parking, so it wouldn't risk being towed, and got hold of a cab inside of 15 minutes (usually, this time of night, it's a 2 hour plus wait for a cab, in this town)...FAR above and beyond their duties!

Too bad not everyone's experiences are as impressive as what I have been exposed to on a regular basis from our local hospital.
 
MB333999 said:
and i've learned that ER docs have a great sense of humor, awesome thread :laugh:
Click to expand...

I agree!! This is my top thread. And I learn so much info that I can apply to my own life if I am ever in the situation haha
 
Birdstrike said:
You should always carry "medicated" Chap-stick with you because if you're deathly allergic to bee stings, and you're stung by a bee, you can just take it out of your pocket and rub it on the sting. This will be life saving. Why? Because "its got medicine in it".
Click to expand...

I love Medicated Chapstick; it's the only one I use! But not on bee stings, and certainly not if I were allergic to bee stings.

What is this, I don't even. :confused:
 
You should always carry "medicated" Chap-stick with you because if you're deathly allergic to bee stings, and you're stung by a bee, you can just take it out of your pocket and rub it on the sting. This will be life saving. Why? Because "its got medicine in it".
Click to expand...
...was something a patient told me once.

Kittenmommy said:
What is this, I don't even. :confused:
Click to expand...

Yeah. That's what I said.

.

.

.

.

. . .(shhhhh. It doesn't really work)
 
Birdstrike said:
You should always carry "medicated" Chap-stick with you because if you're deathly allergic to bee stings, and you're stung by a bee, you can just take it out of your pocket and rub it on the sting. This will be life saving. Why? Because "its got medicine in it".
Click to expand...

Had a patient once tell me she had been using "Medicaid powder" for a rash. Turns out it was Gold Bond "Medicated Powder." She said she thought she was supposed to be using it because she had Medicaid. So based on borderline illiteracy and incorrect reasoning she managed to arrive at the correct treatment for her malady.
 
docB said:
Had a patient once tell me she had been using "Medicaid powder" for a rash. Turns out it was Gold Bond "Medicated Powder." She said she thought she was supposed to be using it because she had Medicaid. So based on borderline illiteracy and incorrect reasoning she managed to arrive at the correct treatment for her malady.
Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl:
Hilarious! You need to write that up in the annals. It sounds like a headline from the Onion newspaper. HEADLINE. "Patient's illiteracy and completely incorrect thought process allows here to arrive at the exactly correct treatment for her horrible medical malady". Hilarious. You can't make this s--t up!
 
I learned Rubbing wetted pepcid on an allergic reaction is one way to get rid of the rash. :)
 
Last edited:
dpmd said:
Well it is a histamine blocker (wrong kind, but still points for knowing about histamine). I seen doctors order it for pts with systemic allergic reactions.
Click to expand...

Seriously? Pepsid is a histamine blocker?? I had no idea!! Good to know, thanks! :D
 
dpmd said:
Well it is a histamine blocker (wrong kind, but still points for knowing about histamine). I seen doctors order it for pts with systemic allergic reactions.
Click to expand...

H2 blockers can be effective in anaphylaxis/allergic reactions.
 
tkim said:
H2 blockers can be effective in anaphylaxis/allergic reactions.
Click to expand...

Decided to actually look it up, looks like the H2 receptors deal with some heart stuff in addition to the gut so makes sense why it helps the systemic response. Doubt it would work do anything for a skin reaction though. On a side note, reading about anaphylaxis makes me understand better why they reacted so rapidly when I started having a stuffy nose after getting my allergy shot. Was sitting in the chair for my mandatory monitoring period and started rubbing my nose and sniffing. They had me on a table with a shot of epi in me so fast it was amazing. I always kinda felt they overreacted. Medical people make terrible patients :D
 
What was more ironic what that they were "allergic" to oral pepcid, so rubbed it on skin instead.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Next unread thread

Similar threads

M
There’s no specialty with the knowledge base/skill set that EM has and that kinda sucks
2
Replies
52
Views
4K
Nocturnist
N
FlaminHotER
EM Docs can learn from the NFL Players Association
Replies
18
Views
2K
thegenius
thegenius
Groove
SBAR discussion
Replies
6
Views
671
Siggy
S
J
Having to complete anti-kickback training because your CMG committed fraud is the most debasing thing in medicine
Replies
24
Views
2K
RustedFox
RustedFox
RustedFox
Someone please start an academic discussion.
2
Replies
90
Views
5K
aafisahar
A
Top