"Things I learn" & "Medicine Sucks" discussion thread

[ArmyBoy]

A huge shout out to the staff of Scottsdale, AZ Mayo clinic ER staff, and local EMS for doing everything they could to save my mother Saturday night.

It was handled professionally, and with care, with grief counselors in the room for my father within seconds of her being pronounced.

I wasn't there, and ordering food in would have been inappropriate, but appreciation for a job well done, people. I think I'll try to slip an anonymous edible "thank you" to them while I'm down there for services.

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[docB]

A huge shout out to the staff of Scottsdale, AZ Mayo clinic ER staff, and local EMS for doing everything they could to save my mother Saturday night.

It was handled professionally, and with care, with grief counselors in the room for my father within seconds of her being pronounced.

I wasn't there, and ordering food in would have been inappropriate, but appreciation for a job well done, people. I think I'll try to slip an anonymous edible "thank you" to them while I'm down there for services.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[ArmyBoy]

Thanks Doc.

 

[da8s0859q]

A huge shout out to the staff of Scottsdale, AZ Mayo clinic ER staff, and local EMS for doing everything they could to save my mother Saturday night.

It was handled professionally, and with care, with grief counselors in the room for my father within seconds of her being pronounced.

I wasn't there, and ordering food in would have been inappropriate, but appreciation for a job well done, people. I think I'll try to slip an anonymous edible "thank you" to them while I'm down there for services.

Dude. I quietly read here most of the time just because I entered medical school interested in EM, but that is a hell of a post. Sorry for your loss, and thank you for being so level-headed and appreciative. So many people aren't.

 

[ArmyBoy]

Hit me like a rock, when I was first told, but once I could process it, and got over the urge to scream like a banshee, and destroy everything I owned, the level-headedness managed to settle in, and give me an appreciation for other people being there to keep "my people" safe from themselves, and give as much comfort as a stranger is able.

Those have to be two of the toughest jobs I can imagine, telling someone that someone they are completely dependent on to feel "whole" that they tried their hardest, but couldn't stop the loss, and being there to support a total stranger in what is probably one of their greatest moments of need, able to BE that rock, without being cynical, obviously practiced, or at all insincere.

When you are aware of this, you kind of find yourself required to respect, be thankful for, and find a way to express that thanks (because so many won't/don't).

Thank ya'll for your condolences.

 

[docB]

Tonight I learned that, at 45 years old, I am not old enough to be a doctor. I'm certainly not old enough to treat an 80 year old man with an acute GI bleed (which had nothing to do with his quart-of-rum-every-2-days alcohol consumption).
I did giggle just a little bit when I was told I don't look old enough to be a doctor. Not quite as good as the day some random old man asked why I wasn't in school, but still.

I keep getting fewer and fewer comments about how I look too young to be a doctor. I wonder why.

 

[med2UCC]

I keep getting fewer and fewer comments about how I look too young to be a doctor. I wonder why.

My (younger) gray haired colleagues keep telling me I need to grow some but my body just won't cooperate, much to the disgust of my (older and younger) siblings. The wrinkles are coming along nicely though, so soon it shouldn't be as much of a problem.
However, in this case she maintained that I wasn't old enough even after I tipped her off as to my actualy chronological age. Some people

 

[StMarc]

Tonight I learned that, at 45 years old, I am not old enough to be a doctor. I'm certainly not old enough to treat an 80 year old man with an acute GI bleed (which had nothing to do with his quart-of-rum-every-2-days alcohol consumption).
I did giggle just a little bit when I was told I don't look old enough to be a doctor. Not quite as good as the day some random old man asked why I wasn't in school, but still.

You should have pulled a Doogie Howser on him: "Well, I'm so young because I'm a genius and I got into medical school when I was sixteen. I can go get you an older doctor, but they won't be as smart."

Non-medical aside: when I got my first in-house lawyer job, I sat in on some customer meetings to get a feel for the business. At one point, my boss introduced me and the customer said, "Oh, that's a good idea. We should get an intern like that."

I said nothing. Nothing. But I remembered. Oh, yes, I remembered. And ten years later, that customer wondered how he ended up signing probably the most disadvantageous licensing contract in the history of the world that didn't contain the word "Lucasfilm."

Revenge is best served ice-cold. Maybe even a little moldy.

 

[EMDoc0411]

You should have pulled a Doogie Howser on him: "Well, I'm so young because I'm a genius and I got into medical school when I was sixteen. I can go get you an older doctor, but they won't be as smart."

Non-medical aside: when I got my first in-house lawyer job, I sat in on some customer meetings to get a feel for the business. At one point, my boss introduced me and the customer said, "Oh, that's a good idea. We should get an intern like that."

I said nothing. Nothing. But I remembered. Oh, yes, I remembered. And ten years later, that customer wondered how he ended up signing probably the most disadvantageous licensing contract in the history of the world that didn't contain the word "Lucasfilm."

Revenge is best served ice-cold. Maybe even a little moldy.

Typical lawyer. Get off our site.

 

[Apollyon]

You should have pulled a Doogie Howser on him: "Well, I'm so young because I'm a genius and I got into medical school when I was sixteen. I can go get you an older doctor, but they won't be as smart."

Non-medical aside: when I got my first in-house lawyer job, I sat in on some customer meetings to get a feel for the business. At one point, my boss introduced me and the customer said, "Oh, that's a good idea. We should get an intern like that."

I said nothing. Nothing. But I remembered. Oh, yes, I remembered. And ten years later, that customer wondered how he ended up signing probably the most disadvantageous licensing contract in the history of the world that didn't contain the word "Lucasfilm."

Revenge is best served ice-cold. Maybe even a little moldy.

Typical lawyer. Get off our site.

Seriously - you screwed someone because, 10 years before, they thought you looked young? If you are serious, man, I wouldn't even want to live next door to you. That is petty, childish, uncalled for, mean, callous, and just plain s*****. I don't know anyone that half-asses a laceration repair on a drunk just because they're drunk (although sometimes it comes out less than optimal due to patient noncooperation, but not due to affirmative efforts by the doc).

 

[ArmyBoy]

Now, now, children.
He may be immature, unethical, and unprofessional (not to mention immoral, but I understand many lawyers are, it's just shy of being a prerequisite, isn't it?), but that's no reason to sling venom at him.

Possibly calmly explaining to him that his behavior was like turning 18, and throwing a serious beating to the girl who pushed you around in 3rd grade, some 10 years back. If an 18 year old should be expected to be more mature, someone who has acquired a law degree, and practiced for more than 10 years, certainly ought to be expected to be.

Possibly not, though. If not, I'm certain that if you physicians get together, and rub skulls long enough, you'll come up with a way to either medically enhance the development of maturity, or implant synthetic alternatives. If you do so, let me know, I'll drive the mobile clinic van that does the charity work around the...lesser cultured...geographical areas.

 

[Katydid]

OMFG.

Apparently, if you are a customer at our pharmacy, and have picked up your numerous narcotics prescriptions, and are then turning around and attempting to dispense them yourself to other members of the populace for a profit, and get picked up by the cops while doing so? It is the only proper and right thing to do, to blame the pharmacist for giving you the narcos. That you were prescribed.

Why, you ask, would they do that? Because my boss contacted the doctor, because there was a quantity of 240 hydrocodone....and the doctor meant to prescribe 120 for the month. Hmmmmm......

Also, when the cops call us to confirm that it was, indeed, one of our containers, and yes, said person has a prescription for that? It is the thing to do to be telling the cops that my boss GAVE you the pills....not that they were prescribed, not that you had less than 1/4 of your original amount after having them filled THE SAME DAY, but that my boss GAVE you the pills. As in, Boss would risk his license, jail time, etc., to help YOU out.

Remember the story about B's Mom? Yeah, that was her and her boyfriend. They're still in jail. $5K cash bond, or 2 times the amount property bond. Neither one's going anywhere.

 

[MikeWilliamson]

If you want to commit suicide by jumping off an upper floor of a parking ramp, LOOK before you leap. (So as to avoid landing on an innocent pedestrian.)

Happened during one of my shifts as a research assistant at the ER.

So, he was standing on the corner, minding his own business, when some dude jumped on him...

 

[Kittenmommy]

This is a simple one.

I've learned from my patients that Percocet is a desirable entity.

Now, barely able to walk and covered in road rash, I understand the appeal.

Ouch!

Also mixes well with scotch.

I prefer mine with red wine.

Also, horrible pain all gone, sleep now = YAY.

 

[MikeWilliamson]

nothing wrong with a little socialism injected into our societies now and then...

To immunize against it?

I had a pyrotechnic accident at age 18. I was tech for a band. I had leftover flash powder, that was literally powder and unsafe to use. Upon finding this, I proceeded to make arrangements to dispose of it.

I made the mistake of leaving the can open.

The bassist, who usually dropped his butts on the floor, saw this convenient can and figured it was an ashtray. He flipped his butt into it. Nothing happened.

I came back, picked up the can and dislodged the coal. FWOOMF, and I'm doing a Michael Jackson impersonation. Second degree, fingertip to wrist on both hands. Lost what little mustache I had on the left side, eyelash, eyebrow and a chunk of hair. First degree along that line.

Singer helped me into the shower to clean off, while making jokes about not normally helping guys out of their clothes.

Seeing some blistering, my mother took me to the ER, where I sat patiently soaking them in saline for a half hour. I don't fuss, generally. I know enough to know they'll get to you when they can, and the longer it takes, the less danger you're in, so it should be reassuring.

Next to me, behind curtains, I hear, "No, this isn't that uncommon, but I'll have to call a specialist."

Doc comes in, looks at my hands, pulls out shears and degloves them, quite literally, and lymph and saline dribble all over the place. I got HIM on the joke, when he said, "I don't know, could you play guitar before?" and I said, "Yes."

"Oh," he said. "Well, yes, you should be able to."

He has me soak some more while dealing with something else. Then the nurse comes back and started bandaging every finger individually with some kind of gel, so they'd heal and not stick together.

Meantime, a specialist arrives at the curtain next to me.

"Mumble mumble."

"Okay, I need you to lean back. There we go. Got it."

Then he comes walking out holding a vibrator.

"Huh. Still running." He unscrews the base, dumps out two batteries, and says, "Energize me" when he sees the brand.

The nurse and I try not to snicker. I tried not to blush.

End result was two more weeks of codeine (I'd had my wisdom teeth done two weeks earlier, silly me), and lots of female attention I don't remember because of the codeine.

 

[WilcoWorld]

Sheesh, bass players...

 

[DarwinsDefeat]

I mean, don't they wonder how all of these meds or tests happened? on top of your 30 pts u are a "bad" doc because u didn't order a tray of food for them and all the visitors.

It stands for Hospital.
A**hole.


Courtesy of Cafe Press

 

[ArmyBoy]

so, he was standing on the corner, minding his own business, when some dude jumped on him...

perfect!!!

 

[njac]

Sheesh, bass players...

Now,now, not everyone is coordinated enough to hang out behind a drumset.

 

[Katydid]

If you're trying to get arrested in order to receive a meal and a warm place to sleep, don't do it by breaking into the K9 unit.

So....how badly bitten?

 

[rmbsstock]

Kittenmommy " I went down the hall and I saw a bathroom, but no Urine Room Two. I asked a nurse, "Where's Urine Room Two? I asked the nurse where the restroom was, and she said, 'Down this hall, Urine Room Two.'." The nurse thought for a second, and burst out laughing.

Turns out that the first nurse had put me in Exam Room Two. The restroom was "down there, you're in Room Two". OMG, did I feel dumb! "

I was in the ED last Saturday early morning (come to find out I had Pneumonia, among other sh--) Anyway, in the mist of my agony and pain, you came to my mind, and I started laughing. I was saying to myself "OK, she is in exam 2, I am 8". I could hardly walk back to exam 8, but I felt weird saying I am in pain, yet thinking of your story and the little black cat

Then, Depakote's story came to my mind"

I think recognized a new syndrome in one of my patients today and I'm going to try to write it up.
I think my patient today had white coat pain syndrome. I enter her room to interview her, she's speaking on the phone with her laptop on her lap in no acute distress. She sees me and suddenly her 10/10 pain refractory to everything but dilaudid returns and is writhing in pain through the interview and exam.

So, since I remembered this story, I decided to be a good patient and NOT give my doctor a hard time. I decided to be 'a matter of fact' kind of patient. He comes in, I start acting as if I was back in the army. I tell him about my breathing problem, he interrupts me and starts asking about my high fever, and blah blah blah (he listened to me didn't ignore me at all). He BY HIMSELF TOLD THE NURSE TO START AN IV AND , I found out that the nurse was giving me "dilaudid" for pain. The funny part, is that the nurse comes close to my ear and said " this will make you feel high, and good". Ofcourse I told her "I do not feel high". I did after a minute . Anyways she was JELOUS . I am thinking "what the hell".

The doctor comes back after reading all the results of the tests and asks me " how are you feeling?".
I answer " much, much better"
- Do you have any more pain? the plan now is to admit you.
-Casually I said "just a little pain in this area".
The nurse comes back with a needle, my friend asks her what is she giving me. You should have seen the nurse's face when she said " more dilaudid for herrrrr painnn". I felt she wanted to kick me off the bed and give herself the pain killers.
I was ready to die from laughing at this nurse, and thinking that I want to write to Depakote, "hey, I did not even ask for it, and the good doctor gave it to me". I think it says in my file that I respond well for this medication for pain Also, nurses have the white coat pain syndrome too!
Bottom line, lots of these entries, made me laugh when I really needed it, and gave me a push to tolerate what i do not like, so I can come and tell you "Thanks, for making me happy".

 

[Kittenmommy]

Kittenmommy " I went down the hall and I saw a bathroom, but no Urine Room Two. I asked a nurse, "Where's Urine Room Two? I asked the nurse where the restroom was, and she said, 'Down this hall, Urine Room Two.'." The nurse thought for a second, and burst out laughing.

Turns out that the first nurse had put me in Exam Room Two. The restroom was "down there, you're in Room Two". OMG, did I feel dumb! "

I was in the ED last Saturday early morning (come to find out I had Pneumonia, among other sh--) Anyway, in the mist of my agony and pain, you came to my mind, and I started laughing. I was saying to myself "OK, she is in exam 2, I am 8". I could hardly walk back to exam 8, but I felt weird saying I am in pain, yet thinking of your story and the little black cat

LOL! I'm so glad that at least you got a laugh during your otherwise awful experience!

The nurse comes back with a needle, my friend asks her what is she giving me. You should have seen the nurse's face when she said " more dilaudid for herrrrr painnn". I felt she wanted to kick me off the bed and give herself the pain killers.

It sounds like that nurse may need... I don't know, a drug test maybe? That's just amazing!

 

[Ladymiranoy]

LOL! I'm so glad that at least you got a laugh during your otherwise awful experience!

Well, well, fancy meeting you here, Kittenmommy!

A bit of backstory: I was in a pre-pre-med program in high school for students who intended to become doctors or vets, and did some ride-alongs. I'm trying to remember some of the best stories, but for now, I'll share the story of myself as a pt:

When a 16 year old female pt comes in, presenting severe abdominal and back pain, the inability to urinate, and is trying to scream quietly at 10/10 pain, it's probably a bad idea to come up to her and scold her for yelling and cursing, stating that "it doesn't do anything for the pain"... because the pain is ALSO making her vomit uncontrollably. Sorry about your shoes, buddy.


Kidney stones are one hell of a bad thing, let me tell you. The EMT who brought me in told me "Hey, you know the pain you're feeling on your side? Think about that... but from down there. Now you know childbirth without an epidural." I don't feel TOO bad about puking on the doc, but I do feel horrible about yanking out my IV and bleeding all over the place in the ER private room when I was writhing around in pain. The attending was 8 months pregnant and had to clean up the mess. I should go back to that ER and bring her a thank you card and some candy or something, after reading this thread from the beginning XD

 

[Kittenmommy]

Well, well, fancy meeting you here, Kittenmommy!

I am everywhere. LOL

From where do you know me??

A bit of backstory: I was in a pre-pre-med program in high school for students who intended to become doctors or vets, and did some ride-alongs. I'm trying to remember some of the best stories, but for now, I'll share the story of myself as a pt:

When a 16 year old female pt comes in, presenting severe abdominal and back pain, the inability to urinate, and is trying to scream quietly at 10/10 pain, it's probably a bad idea to come up to her and scold her for yelling and cursing, stating that "it doesn't do anything for the pain"... because the pain is ALSO making her vomit uncontrollably. Sorry about your shoes, buddy.


Kidney stones are one hell of a bad thing, let me tell you. The EMT who brought me in told me "Hey, you know the pain you're feeling on your side? Think about that... but from down there. Now you know childbirth without an epidural." I don't feel TOO bad about puking on the doc, but I do feel horrible about yanking out my IV and bleeding all over the place in the ER private room when I was writhing around in pain. The attending was 8 months pregnant and had to clean up the mess. I should go back to that ER and bring her a thank you card and some candy or something, after reading this thread from the beginning XD

That sounds awful!

I have a friend who has chronic kidney stones. She also had a baby. She said she's rather have another baby than another kidney stone!

Kittendaddy gets them too, but only one since I've known him. Knock wood!

I really hope you don't get them again, because I know they're awful!

 

[Ladymiranoy]

I believe from Livejournal, we share a couple of communities, I think? At least I'm pretty sure I know you from there XD

Yeah, it was cause of a drastic change in my diet: lots of soda and processed/take-out food, not a lot of water or fruits and veggies, stuff like that. I'm really careful about my sodium intake now.

 

[Kittenmommy]

I believe from Livejournal, we share a couple of communities, I think? At least I'm pretty sure I know you from there XD

Probably! I'm bad with LJ; I tend to look at peoples' icons instead of their names and so I don't always realize who they are when I "see" them elsewhere.

Yeah, it was cause of a drastic change in my diet: lots of soda and processed/take-out food, not a lot of water or fruits and veggies, stuff like that. I'm really careful about my sodium intake now.

Processed crap is just bad news for everyone. I'm not surprised it gave you kidney stones!

I watch our sodium intake too. It's crazy how much salt is in things. Some stuff I can understand. I mean, things like popcorn and potato chips are supposed to be salty, so I get that. But Ice cream? Diet Pepsi? Chocolate cake? Yeah, not so much.

 

[Backlash]

Just got done reading this whole thing. Wonderful way to eat up 3 work days.

My job is in no way related to the medical field, but I have spent my fair amount of time in the hospital, as you'll see in a second.

Just some things I've learned from my own young stupidity.

1. If you shatter your knuckle, do not wait for 3 days to go see somebody about it. Also, once the doctors give you a cast, do not cut it off with scissors because it itches. They will stare in awe when you come back in for a check up sans cast. This will also cause you to never be able to straighten your finger again.

2. If you tear the cartilage in you knee, do not walk on it for a week because you can handle the pain. You will do a lot of damage and most likely no longer have cartilage left in you knee by the time you are 23.

3. Lastly, if you have a lump in your neck where your lymphnodes are, get it checked out right away. Do not wait almost a year and only go in when there are 2, one on each side, about the size of a golf ball and one the size of a grape. Turns out it could be cancer, and you caught it just in time, right before it spread to your bone marrow. Also, don't be a smart @ss and go around telling people to feel the lumps, and when they pull away in disgust, joke that "oh, it's just cancer" before you really know what it is. Anytime you see someone who you said this joke to, you get to look like a giant jack hole saying, "Ya know how I was joking and said that was cancer....well, it really is."

Basically, don't wait.

Just want to say thanks to everyone in the field. You all do a wonderful job and put up with way more than you should have to.

 

[gutonc]

Don't mistake Krazy Glue for Visine.

Ouch, ouch ouch!

 

[Stitch]

Ouch, ouch ouch!

He's going to look like a pirate for a week or so...

 

[littleteapot]

this is from my meeting with a veteran yesterday.
Since the country where I'm from a country has lost a war more than 60 years ago, the nice veteran told me that... "don't put your f... hand on me... I used to kill the people from your contry... did you paid mafia to have your visa?"

the funny thing is that the nurse told me that it's your fault if you don't like to the patient.

 

[Ceke2002]

Hi, not sure if it's ok for me to be posting in here. I'm not currently a med student, or doing any sort of healthcare field type study. I did start Nursing School some years ago (many years ago), and was interested in pursuing medicine as a career, but chose not to for personal reasons.

Anyway, I seriously don't get Drug Seekers? I'm not talking those who are in legitimate pain, and 'seeking' drugs to get relief, but the addicts who come in to try and scam opiates. Is there something going on with these people? Other than just the addiction I mean. I am a recovered Heroin Addict (totally clean 8 years this December), and not once did I even consider going to Emergency to try and scam drugs. I could turn a couple of tricks, get cashed up, call a dealer, and be on all in less than two hours. Why on earth would I bother to go to the ED, sit in the waiting room for hours upon hours, have to come up with a believable story, lie to a Doctor who obviously knows a sh*tload more about stuff that requires *that* level of pain treatment than I do, waste valuable ED time and resources, all for the maybe less than 1% of a chance that I might actually get a shot of *insert narcotic of choice here*. I honestly just do not see the logic at work here, it makes zero sense to me.

Any ED people, or anyone else, have any insight into this? Is there some sort of co-morbid Psych diagnosis going on as well?

 

[Katydid]

Hi, not sure if it's ok for me to be posting in here. I'm not currently a med student, or doing any sort of healthcare field type study. I did start Nursing School some years ago (many years ago), and was interested in pursuing medicine as a career, but chose not to for personal reasons.

Anyway, I seriously don't get Drug Seekers? I'm not talking those who are in legitimate pain, and 'seeking' drugs to get relief, but the addicts who come in to try and scam opiates. Is there something going on with these people? Other than just the addiction I mean. I am a recovered Heroin Addict (totally clean 8 years this December), and not once did I even consider going to Emergency to try and scam drugs. I could turn a couple of tricks, get cashed up, call a dealer, and be on all in less than two hours. Why on earth would I bother to go to the ED, sit in the waiting room for hours upon hours, have to come up with a believable story, lie to a Doctor who obviously knows a sh*tload more about stuff that requires *that* level of pain treatment than I do, waste valuable ED time and resources, all for the maybe less than 1% of a chance that I might actually get a shot of *insert narcotic of choice here*. I honestly just do not see the logic at work here, it makes zero sense to me.

Any ED people, or anyone else, have any insight into this? Is there some sort of co-morbid Psych diagnosis going on as well?

Quite a few people experience a euphoric state on opiates.

And, for some of them? They become addicted to the experience. However, they become habituated to the opiate, and require larger and larger doses to get that feeling of euphoria.

I am about the opposite. I have no pain, but I don't feel euphoric, just drunk and underwater. Imagine being completely trashed, and being underwater at the same time....that's what it feels like for me. I like the relief of no more pain, but I do not like seeing the room move when I turn my head, or not being able to focus my eyes properly.

But, just like some people really enjoy being drunk, and some people really enjoying smoking up and getting high off weed? Some people really, really enjoy the euphoric state when they're on opiates.

 

[Ceke2002]

Quite a few people experience a euphoric state on opiates.

And, for some of them? They become addicted to the experience. However, they become habituated to the opiate, and require larger and larger doses to get that feeling of euphoria.

I am about the opposite. I have no pain, but I don't feel euphoric, just drunk and underwater. Imagine being completely trashed, and being underwater at the same time....that's what it feels like for me. I like the relief of no more pain, but I do not like seeing the room move when I turn my head, or not being able to focus my eyes properly.

But, just like some people really enjoy being drunk, and some people really enjoying smoking up and getting high off weed? Some people really, really enjoy the euphoric state when they're on opiates.

Oh yeah I get that, I understand the whole addiction side of things. Like I said, I was addicted to Heroin myself at one time. I suppose I don't really understand it (the issue of Drug Seekers), because I am looking at it from a former addicts point of view, and I can't understand when someone is craving opiates, possibly going into withdrawals, and all that, why they would waste their time hanging around the ED for hours on end to maybe scam drugs, if they're lucky. When I was using, it never occurred to me to go to the ED, and hit up a Doctor for some morphine, or fentanyl, when I'd run out of smack. Seriously, the ED is for Emergencies, I had a Dealer(s) who took care of that other stuff. I don't know, maybe it's just me, it's just a phenomena that's always baffled me.

 

[MikeWilliamson]

4. When your husband has just gotten back from Iraq, having been blown up by an IED and suffering > 80% TBSA burns, it is not benefical to wait until he has woken up from his pharmacologically induced coma, been extubated, and come to grips with his injuries to tell him that he's too ugly to deserve her, and that he should never have bothered crawling out of the building that was shelled. Do this when your husband's CSM is visiting to personally present the soldier with a Purple Heart for his injuries, and Silver Star for going back in THREE TIMES to pull out his battle-buddies.

Having been deployed, and having been the home spouse for someone activated as well, I suspect it was psychological trauma, and she went straight from denial to blame.

That doesn't make it any easier, but I'd consider her to be a collateral casualty

 

[Perrotfish]

Tonight I learned that, at 45 years old, I am not old enough to be a doctor. I'm certainly not old enough to treat an 80 year old man with an acute GI bleed (which had nothing to do with his quart-of-rum-every-2-days alcohol consumption).
I did giggle just a little bit when I was told I don't look old enough to be a doctor. Not quite as good as the day some random old man asked why I wasn't in school, but still.

So, when I'm on call in the ER during my IM rotation:

Pissed of old man: "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?"

Me: Good guess sir. I'm actually still in medical school.

: Pause :

Pissed off old man: "Aren't you a little old to still be in medical school?"

You can't win

 

[DistrictOfChaos]

I learned this morning that when a corrections officer tells you no, he has to stay with the inmate who is your patient, especially if he is unshackled? He really does mean it, and he's no more thrilled about it than you are, especially in the cath lab.

He's even less thrilled when he's wearing a lead-lined protective suit, and still has to make sure he can get to his pepper spray, Taser, and cuffs.

Trust me on this one.

Wow, you're lucky they took the cuffs off at all. I can't and won't, and if the lock-up is too much of a pain, we'll watch what I want on T.V. until my shift change.

P.S. trying to be slick by telling me one thing when I come to the ER, and then when you realize you're wrong, you flat out LIE about it to your boss when he/she comes in the room is not advisable. It's also not advisable to come back to my room and get some weird form of officerstarstruckness and ask me if I'm "pack'n" or if I've killed anyone, after said bossman has politely informed you that I'm an officer/paramedic and if bossman knows you're bull****ting, I probably do too. Especially if you're conversation is still within my earshot.

Moral: read the employment section of your registration info. Thankythanky, me love you long time

 

[greatnt249]

So, when I'm on call in the ER during my IM rotation:

Pissed of old man: "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?"

Me: Good guess sir. I'm actually still in medical school.

: Pause :

Pissed off old man: "Aren't you a little old to still be in medical school?"

You can't win

He was probably of the variety that thinks college=medical school; I don't know how many times I had to explain to my grandpa that I had to get my degree first before I learned anything even remotely related to medicine.

 

[Katydid]

Wow, you're lucky they took the cuffs off at all. I can't and won't, and if the lock-up is too much of a pain, we'll watch what I want on T.V. until my shift change.

P.S. trying to be slick by telling me one thing when I come to the ER, and then when you realize you're wrong, you flat out LIE about it to your boss when he/she comes in the room is not advisable. It's also not advisable to come back to my room and get some weird form of officerstarstruckness and ask me if I'm "pack'n" or if I've killed anyone, after said bossman has politely informed you that I'm an officer/paramedic and if bossman knows you're bull****ting, I probably do too. Especially if you're conversation is still within my earshot.

Moral: read the employment section of your registration info. Thankythanky, me love you long time

Not the doctor in question.

Just the wife of the corrections officer.

 

[entropius]

Seriously, the ED is for Emergencies, I had a Dealer(s) who took care of that other stuff. I don't know, maybe it's just me, it's just a phenomena that's always baffled me.

Responsible medical patient: visits a PCP or urgent care for things that are not true emergencies

Responsible drug user: Has a dealer for nonemergency opiate supply

 

[JonasB]

On a related note:

if you're impotent and have a new girlfriend, a mercury glass thermometer is not the best solution to obtaining some "rigidity'

Rereading the thread and this reminded me of an incident that happened to me waaaay back when. Visiting uncle's house for a weekend at the same time as a cousin, girl around 10ish. Anyway she was coughing a lot Sunday so uncle sticks a thermometer in her mouth and has her hold it under tongue. I'm watching TV during all of this and suddenly I hear my cousin scream out. I whirl around and see half the thermometer on the floor and half of it in pieces in/around cousin's mouth. She said that she thought the red stuff (mercury) was candy. Resulted in ER trip (which I did not go along with, so no idea how it turned out since I left later that night).

 

[JonasB]

I'm not in medicine; I'm a chemistry prof (although I do have a lot of premeds in my classes). This thread has provided a lot of comic relief while grading finals.

Maybe this belongs on a teaching forum, but I hope noone minds if I put up a story too. My "brightest" students end up in the ER anyways.

If you're dissolving steel by boiling it in nitric acid, it's ok to pick up the beaker with your bare hands. Only the inside of the glass will be hot. After you drop the hot beaker and spill the boiling nitric acid over your hands, make sure that you clean up the mess of broken glass on your labbench before running your hands under the tap. It's very important that you don't lose points for lab technique.

When you come back to class 9 days later with bandaged hands, ask your instructor to repeat the same lab. She'll let you because you didn't manage to eliminate yourself the first time and you still can use your fingers. This time, you know that the beaker will be hot and you're thinking things through so you know that the bandages on the palms of your hands will work just like oven mitts. Then when you find out that you can feel the heat on your tender palms and spill the boiling acid over your hands again, it's ok, because bandages soak up acid very nicely and you'll have no mess on your bench.

They're out to kill me. Am I being paranoid?

This also reminds me of a story my dad told me from work. Apparently a science teacher had spilled a bottle of sodium and, after class had ended, tried to wash it up with water.

 

[The Poet Sings]

Rereading the thread and this reminded me of an incident that happened to me waaaay back when. Visiting uncle's house for a weekend at the same time as a cousin, girl around 10ish. Anyway she was coughing a lot Sunday so uncle sticks a thermometer in her mouth and has her hold it under tongue. I'm watching TV during all of this and suddenly I hear my cousin scream out. I whirl around and see half the thermometer on the floor and half of it in pieces in/around cousin's mouth. She said that she thought the red stuff (mercury) was candy. Resulted in ER trip (which I did not go along with, so no idea how it turned out since I left later that night).

that's alcohol, not mercury.

 

[JonasB]

out

The same person keeps making posts with only this in them but none of the posts below it seem to react. What do these "out" posts mean?

 

[JonasB]

double post mistake

 

[Katydid]

The same person keeps making posts with only this in them but none of the posts below it seem to react. What do these "out" posts mean?

They're all Goodbye Cruel Forum flounce posts.

That person got offended by someone correcting her, and flounced. No biggie.

 

[chimichanga]

Don't mistake Krazy Glue for Visine.

Happens from time to time in every ED in which I've worked...

Begs the question: Why is the Krazy Glue stored in the same cabinet as the Visine?

Talk about asking for trouble...

 

[Katydid]

Happens from time to time in every ED in which I've worked...

Begs the question: Why is the Krazy Glue stored in the same cabinet as the Visine?

Talk about asking for trouble...

Dude....the containers are not even shaped the same.

And Visine is NOT stored in the same cabinet as Krazy Glue in my house. Mostly because I know better, and I know how well I can see without my glasses. I run into walls. Seriously.

I think the trend of Krazy Glue mistaken for Visine is due to the rapidly growing dumb@ss epidemic.

 

[Kittenmommy]

I think the trend of Krazy Glue mistaken for Visine is due to the rapidly growing dumb@ss epidemic.

That same epidemic explains "reality" TV, too.

 

[john1660]

My practice of medicine is in the pre-hospital setting as an EMT. I've learned quite a bit from my patients in the back of an ambulance.

For instance, I've learned that if you are drunk (I've learned a lot from drunks) and driving and the road curves to the right, you might forget to turn the wheel. If that happens, you might drive up a 30 foot hill and roll sideways off the top. When you get to the bottom, you will probably get out of the car without a scratch and start arguing with the State Troopers. Hopefully, they will find you mildly amusing and not toss you in the cruiser in shackles.

However, when the ambulance arrives and you start getting in the face of the EMS Captain who is the 5 foot nothing wife of a cop, you will suddenly find yourself on the ground under a pile of Troopers with your hands tightly cuffed behind your back. We will take you in to the hospital (as your only alternative to getting hauled off directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.) However, due to the mechanism of injury, we will put you in full c-spine protection, c-collar and backboard, with your hands still firmly cuffed behind your back. After all, it's not likely that I am going to ask the Troopers to take the cuffs off after seeing your behavior.

At some point later, if you are able to remember the night at all, you will probably realize that it's a good thing that you were so drunk or being on a backboard in cuffs would have been really painful. Hopefully, you will also come to the realization that if you weren't so drunk, you wouldn't have ended up in that position to begin with. But that's asking a lot.

 

[MikeWilliamson]

Turn of the snowblower before you try to manually disimpact it.

Acquaintance of mine lost three fingers that way. Chemist, works for the water dept. Should have known better.