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Why not? It's an avenue for getting additional you-know-what. The women on those sites are generally attractive (since you can't be an ugly woman wanting a sugar daddy). What's the downside for them?
You said all women liked a well educated and successful man. And I'm saying some don't care whilst most consider it secondary to a man's physical attractiveness and personality.I didn't bother scrolling up, but I'm pretty sure I was referring to all women on those sites.
Why not? I've seen tons of attractive women (such as celebrities) turn into horrible wrecks. On the flip side, I'm sure we've also seen women who were 4s when they were younger and somehow they turn into 8s when they're older. It's almost chance. Some women have a kid and totally fall apart. Other women don't.
Are you serious? Male nurses and male ancillary staff are generally more physically attractive that male doctors. But I rarely (in fact, never) see female doctors dating male nurses, but I have seen plenty of the other way around. So how do you explain that?They want a physically attractive guy as much as the guy wants a physically attractive girl. And that was what was common among those guys in "less respected careers" dating the hotter women.
Are you serious? Male nurses and male ancillary staff are generally more physically attractive that male doctors. But I rarely (in fact, never) see female doctors dating male nurses, but I have seen plenty of the other way around. So how do you explain that?
Men care more about fertility (expressed as physical attractiveness), because women play a vital role in breeding and feeding offsprings. Women care more about productivity (expressed as social economical status), because men were/are responsible for improving the survival chance and life quality of offsprings in the past millions of years. It is in our genes. Women seek productivity just as men seek physical attractiveness. And in a long term relationship, both men and women look for compatibility, that's when personality kick in.
Because those attractive men (~8/10s for example) won't be dating female doctors who are lesser attractive than them (4-6s), when they can date some random girl (7-9s) who's as attractive or more. Men almost always make the first move, if the male nurse doesn't find the female doctor hot, why in the world would they date them?
Don't forget one thing, an average looking female will get an average looking guy (typically) for dating purposes in the long term. She will obviously prefer the really hot guy or whatever, but why would a 9/10 guy actively pursue a 5/10 girl? Makes no sense.
Keep in mind, just cause a girl marries a more successful guy, doesn't mean she won't cheat with the better looking guy (the pool guy banging the rich guy's wife scenario). Once she realizes she can do better of course.
http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/Don't really want to get into it with the men/women debate - I'm a less attractive female married to a gorgeous dude so it happens. And seriously, studentpox, you need to get off it with the infidelity shtick. Don't know if you've had personal experiences that are jading your perspective or indeed watch too much porn/TV...
To the OP - it may be that after telling yourself you were going to focus on your studies you never really developed/finessed your non-platonic social skills. Not saying you're a bumbling idiot or anything, but it takes practice to be able to exude the confidence that is so attractive to so many people. You say you're pretty introverted (I was too) but it's about faking the confidence/social grace until it feels real. Dunno if your trouble is actually securing a date or making it to the next one, but be able to talk about a lot of different topics comfortably - not necessarily hot-button issues but small talk.
And maybe you weren't really into certain people right away, but if they weren't totally objectionable, maybe give them another shot. You'd be suprised how someone can grow on you. Good luck dude 🙂
To the OP - it may be that after telling yourself you were going to focus on your studies you never really developed/finessed your non-platonic social skills. Not saying you're a bumbling idiot or anything, but it takes practice to be able to exude the confidence that is so attractive to so many people. You say you're pretty introverted (I was too) but it's about faking the confidence/social grace until it feels real. Dunno if your trouble is actually securing a date or making it to the next one, but be able to talk about a lot of different topics comfortably - not necessarily hot-button issues but small talk.
Because your post dismissed it as an unlikely scenario while the stats show that it is quite likely.Not sure what the point of those statistics is supposed to be - that infidelity happens? That's no surprise to anyone.
You`d probably have a really easy time if you were 16-25. Adding girls on BBM..twitter..facebook and meeting girls by texting them once your friends digitally introduced them to you.. would have made your first step 10x easier.That's pretty much it. I'm fine with talking to men, or even women I'm not interested in. But when it's someone I like, I totally clam up. People always say "don't treat those women differently," but it's sort of hard to do. The main thing is that I really stink at making small talk. Like, I've experienced (and read) that when a woman meets a man, often she basically lets him control the conversation to begin with. That's what happens to me. Like, it would be awesome if I came up to a woman and said something and she started to chatter away randomly. That's what women I'm NOT interested in do. I'm great at that because then I just follow what they're saying and when I find something I want to comment on, I go for it. But women I am interested in never do that. I don't know if they're sensing that I like them or what, but they just sit there and reply with one word answers and then I have nothing to go off of. It's very frustrating. Usually, I get flustered by that and just shut down, so we end up standing for a few moments awkwardly, and then we'll just be like "anyway ..." and part ways.
You`d probably have a really easy time if you were 16-25. Adding girls on BBM..twitter..facebook and meeting girls by texting them once your friends digitally introduced them to you.. would have made your first step 10x easier.
You`re best off meeting girls through friends.
That's pretty much it. I'm fine with talking to men, or even women I'm not interested in. But when it's someone I like, I totally clam up. People always say "don't treat those women differently," but it's sort of hard to do. The main thing is that I really stink at making small talk. Like, I've experienced (and read) that when a woman meets a man, often she basically lets him control the conversation to begin with. That's what happens to me. Like, it would be awesome if I came up to a woman and said something and she started to chatter away randomly. That's what women I'm NOT interested in do. I'm great at that because then I just follow what they're saying and when I find something I want to comment on, I go for it. But women I am interested in never do that. I don't know if they're sensing that I like them or what, but they just sit there and reply with one word answers and then I have nothing to go off of. It's very frustrating. Usually, I get flustered by that and just shut down, so we end up standing for a few moments awkwardly, and then we'll just be like "anyway ..." and part ways.
One tip would be to practice on random people you encounter - when you go to the grocery store, start up a quick conversation while the cashier checks you out or with the guy making your subway sandwich. It's tough at first and you'll feel like a goof but I think the more you make small talk, the more you'll feel comfortable with it and the more confident you'll appear when it comes time to talk to a romantic interest, which is really the end goal.
Bless your heart for not being a bar/club guy - generally not a good place to meet people that you want to become more serious with, anyway.
As for the house painters - the nurses see/work with doctors day in and day out. I would never want to date someone in my own field (what the heck do you talk about but work?) but some people find that really important as they'll be more understanding of the lifestyle. But you can get to be friends with the taken nurses and meet their friends who may be single and similarly attractive/intelligent/whatever floats your boat.
You sound like the guy version of me. Except I'm still in school with almost zero time for social interaction.Well, the thing is that I've always been a guy who doesn't go out much. I know that's like "then no duh" but I've never really been into anyone at bars or clubs. Like, the few times I've gone to clubs, it's just people grinding on each other drunkenly (plus, I don't dance). And bars it's like people are totally piss drunk. It's tough for me because I'm into girl-next-door types, not like "look at me, I'm a slut!! Does this turn you on??" and they're generally not out getting bombed.
So I often will try to meet people at work, like single nurses or techs. And obviously it's tough because they're concentrating on work. People always say it's easy for physicians to meet nurses, for example, but whenever I'm interested in a nurse, she'll be dating some random non-medical guy. It'll be like "oh, yeah, my boyfriend is a house painter" and I'll be like "uh ...wtf?"
You sound like the guy version of me. Except I'm still in school with almost zero time for social interaction.
Where DO you meet people?
I'd agree with the "befriend taken nurses" thing, but they'd just try to match me up with nurses I wasn't interested in. That's the most frustrating part. Like, I'd actually KNOW who I was interested in and nurses would be like "oh, no, you'd be much better off with ..." and I'd go "well, no offense, but could you help me out with this other nurse? Please?" but it was always really half-hearted. Like, I know women who have helped guys out. They do stuff like just go to other women and say "hey, so-and-so is into you" and then it goes from there. I'd never get that level of help.
Well, if you're interested in people in the medical field, you're pretty much limited to meeting people at work or through friends/acquaintances at work. Other options include coffee shops, concerts, meet up events (local rock climbing group, just for a random example - meetup.com(I think?) is where you can find people who have similar interests to you and do stuff with them), etc.
Not sure how you've approached them about it, so maybe this advice isn't worth much, but do you say, "Hey, I'm interested in Shelly. Do you know if she has a boyfriend already?" or some such approach. If she does have a boyfriend...I can't really argue that they stir the pot by adding you into the equation (where's studenpox with his cheating statistics? 😀) Or you could approach Shelly herself and feel out the situation. Another option is to listen to the nurses when they suggest someone that you might not at first be interested in. I mean, if she has no teeth and smells like onions or is otherwise objectionable, that's understandable. But I wouldn't discount the chance that you might become interested in someone if you got to know them a bit better.
Yeah, I actually googled for "where to meet people other than bars or clubs" (good ol' Google, lol) and found meetup.com. I'm actually going to a meetup in a week or so, but it's tough because most of the meetups by people in my age range are ...bars and clubs. No joke. I'm going to play laser tag, but honestly everyone going is apparently either older and/or married, so it's literally just to meet new people (which is fine). I'm love to find other young professionals in this area, but nobody knows. Like, all the people going to this laser tag thing are (no joke) miners (not "minors," this guy actually mines stuff for a job) or high school dropouts.
I told them that I thought a nurse was cute and I'd point them out. I think the one was totally out of my league and they were just being nice by not saying it, but there was another one where they honestly just didn't even care to try. And I approached that girl (she was actually a PA of another surgeon) and tried chatting her up. The only thing was I didn't ask her out right then and there because I figured that was too forward. But I asked them if they could find out about the situation with her and they were like "sure" and then never did anything.
As far as going for someone I'm not interested in, please don't get offended by this, but I really need to have some sort of physical attraction towards someone. There were lots of nice nurses who I just had no feelings towards and I honestly can't see myself going out with someone like that. I'm sure women are like that, too, right?
I've joined meet up and plenty of fish. The area I'm in right now doesn't seem big for meet ups. And pof is hit or miss with guys having their interest as looking for a relationship. But they then message you and it sounds like they're looking for a hook-up.So what's your game plan? Because I always was like "well, after med school ..." and then it was "well, after residency ..." and now I'm like "HOLY CR*P!! NOOOOO!!!"
You're doing the right thing by meeting people though - you never know what kind of interesting folks you'll become friends/acquaintances with and may get a party invitation or whatnot and meet someone there. Stranger things have happened.
It may be that they aren't helping you in earnest because they don't know you all that well.
I've joined meet up and plenty of fish. The area I'm in right now doesn't seem big for meet ups. And pof is hit or miss with guys having their interest as looking for a relationship. But they then message you and it sounds like they're looking for a hook-up.
I hate trying to dig through the BS.
There are probably a dozen guys that I have a 'mutual interest' with but none have messaged me. Maybe I have to take the first step?
I'm 26 and people routinely think I'm 15 - I feel you.
Sounds like your chat skills need polishing. For example, if you hadn't ever seen her before, ask if this hospital is her home base (I have no idea if that makes sense in context, but you get the idea) or elsewhere. Or ask why you haven't seen her around - does she work in a different area of the hospital or with another doctor? (Bonus - you know where to find her!) Which one or which area of the hospital? How does she like working with that person? Has she always worked in oncology or has she spent time in other fields (within the medical field)? Is she from around here or did she move here? What made her move here? Not that you have to grill her for her life story, but these are some leads you can get started with. The next important part is a graceful exit - you've had your chat, time to go back to work. But follow up 🙂 (And if you got her name, can't you look that up at the hospital? Not stalkerish if you don't tell her 😉)
Plenty of fish = plenty of whales.
Dating sites in general.. you won`t find any decent attractive girls for dating purposes. It isn`t bad for casual sex though if you`re having a dry spell and you`re pretty attractive.
Where do you live?
My friends and I have had decent luck with online dating in all of the major metropolitan areas...
Enough moderately attractive people I know have had decent luck on pof and other similar sites to make it worth the crap I've encountered.Plenty of fish = plenty of whales.
Dating sites in general.. you won`t find any decent attractive girls for dating purposes. It isn`t bad for casual sex though if you`re having a dry spell and you`re pretty attractive.
Have fun!OK, I'll bite and register for POF and see what I have to deal with. I'll report to you guys how it is in a few days.
As you cycle through the meet/don't meet/maybe, you get more matches. Also, I think you can specify they must have a picture.Woah, that didn't work at all. I got 42 matches (ha ha!), and a bunch of them had no photos. I see maybe two people I'd be interested in, but one of them is self-described "country" and likes "muddin'" ...so that probably won't work, lol. Oh, well, so much for that.
As you cycle through the meet/don't meet/maybe, you get more matches. Also, I think you can specify they must have a picture.
I hope that's not indicative of how quickly you call it quits?
I don't understand the deal with 'has a car'. It really seems pointless. But what do I know?Nah, I'm not quitting, I'm just pessimistic. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong because they show additional photos all over the place, but they're of people from all over the country, so that's sort of weird. I messaged three women (including the accountant who was into muddin', lol), so we'll see if there's anything that goes on. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. I was sort of amused that "has a car" is such an important thing to the website.
😱Also, apparently women have a totally different understanding of "average" build than I do. Like, I don't mind a few extra pounds, but people who are like 250 lbs are calling themselves "average." I'm sort of scared to see what I'd get if I took off the "body type" filter.
That "has a car" question is the very reason I never finished my POF profile.Nah, I'm not quitting, I'm just pessimistic. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong because they show additional photos all over the place, but they're of people from all over the country, so that's sort of weird. I messaged three women (including the accountant who was into muddin', lol), so we'll see if there's anything that goes on. I don't think it's gonna happen, though. I was sort of amused that "has a car" is such an important thing to the website.
That "has a car" question is the very reason I never finished my POF profile.
Then again, 2 of the nurses I work with have married guys they met on POF in the last month.
It makes me think that the people on here are either broke or are high school kids. Were those nurses unattractive or really old? I don't mean that offensively, but the few people who identified themselves as nurses I've seen anywhere on any dating site (Match, eHarmony, POF) have been like way old and (again, no offense) not good looking.
I`m in Canada but I`ve seen the plenty of whales thing about POF in several forums online.. and everyone always agrees. I`ve browned through lists of women before in different cities too, overall... very common to find fat chicks on there.Where do you live?
My friends and I have had decent luck with online dating in all of the major metropolitan areas...
loooll...Also, apparently women have a totally different understanding of "average" build than I do. Like, I don't mind a few extra pounds, but people who are like 250 lbs are calling themselves "average." I'm sort of scared to see what I'd get if I took off the "body type" filter.
It actually might be ...which is depressing. Yeah, like I said, I wasn't aware of how prevalent the whole "fake picture" thing is. After all, what's the point of having a fake picture? As soon as you meet, the jig is up.