USC--Should I include this in my secondary?

[TNK123]

They ask about my interest in the school...this is my answer

.Approximately twenty-four years ago, my father (his name) was completing his internal residence at USC medical center. While doing a rotation in rheumatology/Hematology, he met an attractive registered nurse (my mother), with whom he began a clandestine relationship. After one month of courtship, my father proposed to my mother (allegedly while still in his scrubs). They proceeded to plan the ceremony, with the USC rose garden as the venue. Ironically, within a ten mile radius at the USC dormitory, I was conceived three months before the ceremony. Thus, there is a type of family legacy. USC is the place where my parents trained, worked, met, married and created me. While being conceived on the campus does contribute to my interest, I am also drawn to the school's reputation of excellence, small student-instructor ratio, and service opportunities. In addition, the community around the school is filled those I hope to serve. I would be honored and privileged to be a part of this medical and social community..

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[schrizto]

Sounds good. You have a solid reason why you decided to consider this school, and you made it more poetic than "My parents worked there".

 

[GoSpursGo]

Moving to School-Specific Discussions.

 

[Bbon]

They ask about my interest in the school...this is my answer

.Approximately twenty-four years ago, my father (his name) was completing his internal residence at USC medical center. While doing a rotation in rheumatology/Hematology, he met an attractive registered nurse (my mother), with whom he began a clandestine relationship. After one month of courtship, my father proposed to my mother (allegedly while still in his scrubs). They proceeded to plan the ceremony, with the USC rose garden as the venue. Ironically, within a ten mile radius at the USC dormitory, I was conceived three months before the ceremony. Thus, there is a type of family legacy. USC is the place where my parents trained, worked, met, married and created me. While being conceived on the campus does contribute to my interest, I am also drawn to the school's reputation of excellence, small student-instructor ratio, and service opportunities. In addition, the community around the school is filled those I hope to serve. I would be honored and privileged to be a part of this medical and social community..

I might ease back on the details, like I'm not sure they want to picture you being conceived or might be a little disturbed that you so openly talk about it. I mean, I understand it's almost got this tongue-in-cheek vibe to it, but they say the med community tends to be on the conservative side and whoever is reading your secondary might not respond to the tone as well as you were hoping.

So if it was me, I might keep the essence of what you're trying to say, but make it less.. I don't know the word I'm looking for. But let me give you a sample.

My history with USC goes back further than I can remember. And I mean that literally. My personal experiences with the school began before I had even obtained the requisite cognitive functioning to have memories. In fact, it all started 24 years ago, when my father Phillip was completing his internal residence at the USC medical center. There he met my mother, a registered nurse, and they began a relationship that ultimately led to my conception. So it can be said that I owe my very existence to the school. (Then jump into your transition + other reasons for wanting to go to the school; also in your second-to-last sentence, you left out "with" between "filled" and "those")

Anyhow, that's just my opinion/suggestion. Really your secondary should speak to your personality, so if that doesn't sound like something you would write, then I wouldn't advise that either.

 

[schrizto]

I might ease back on the details, like I'm not sure they want to picture you being conceived or might be a little disturbed that you so openly talk about it. I mean, I understand it's almost got this tongue-in-cheek vibe to it, but they say the med community tends to be on the conservative side and whoever is reading your secondary might not respond to the tone as well as you were hoping.

idk about the adcoms being disturbed by talking about being conceived. I mean, people on the admissions committee are likely to be health professionals and people in healthcare have to listen to patients talking about their sexual lives and such. They can't be offended by the slightest mention of sex.

 

[Bbon]

idk about the adcoms being disturbed by talking about being conceived. I mean, people on the admissions committee are likely to be health professionals and people in healthcare have to listen to patients talking about their sexual lives and such. They can't be offended by the slightest mention of sex.

Oh no, I wasn't implying that they'd have trouble with the concept of conception in general. I meant they might find it odd that someone would, to put it bluntly, talk about their parents having sex on a med school essay. But I do come from a fairly socially conservative household, so maybe my opinion is a bit clouded. I think that's one of those semi-cringe-worthy topics that people accept but would rather not put on an open forum. Again, one man's opinion and I could be the only one.

Edit: Although I guess I did steer you in that direction with my original wording. My apologies. I do stand by my basic point.