waitlisted & pregnant - can i defer (if accepted)?

[Truffles84]

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

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[theseeker4]

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

Why don't you call the school's admissions office (anonymously) and ask? At least you would need to post the school you are talking about for anyone to give you information that is at all useful. Congrats, by the way!

 

[Truffles84]

Thanks! It's University of Buffalo. They do allow deferrals under certain circumstances, although it doesn't say anything about deferrals for those accepted off of the waitlist. I'm kind of afraid to call because I don't want to give myself away and thus be rejected, but I suppose I could do it anonymously

 

[PostHaste]

I know this isn't an answer to your question, and maybe you have no interest in this, but I know of at least one other member who started school late in pregnancy (GeekChick). If you're interested, you might want to PM her for more info.

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

 

[Truffles84]

Thank you

 

[0919mmk]

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

Reapplying would be pretty awful. If your school doesn't let you defer, you might even think about matriculating this year. It would be pretty crazy with a newborn, but at most schools, you don't need to attend lecture, so as long as you budgeted your time, you might be able to do both.

 

[K31]

Thanks! It's University of Buffalo. They do allow deferrals under certain circumstances, although it doesn't say anything about deferrals for those accepted off of the waitlist. I'm kind of afraid to call because I don't want to give myself away and thus be rejected, but I suppose I could do it anonymously

It would be a serious no-no for them to reject you because you are pregnant since pregnancy is a protected status under federal law.

 

[fletchffletch]

It would be a serious no-no for them to reject you because you are pregnant since pregnancy is a protected status under federal law.

Isn't that in regards to employment though?

 

[TriagePreMed]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

Sent from my SCH-R910 using Tapatalk

 

[K31]

Isn't that in regards to employment though?

Nope (or at least not exclusively).

 

[K31]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

Don't be an ass--if that were an option she were willing to consider, I'm sure she wouldn't be here asking this.

And there really is no perfect time to start a family during the whole med school-->residency-->career process. If anything, parenting an infant during the first two years of medical school, when your schedule is still somewhat yours to control (study at home, watch videos instead of going to class at some schools) is one of the better times.

 

[theseeker4]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

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I can almost guarantee that any woman who becomes pregnant at an inconvenient time would be able to think of and fully consider that possible answer on their own, so what point does your comment serve, other than to trolling-ly derail this thread into another "pro choice vs pro life" train wreck?

 

[TheMightySmiter]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

Sent from my SCH-R910 using Tapatalk

Yeah, I am very much in favor of a woman's right to choose, but this is a tactless comment. Clearly OP has made a choice or she wouldn't have posted this.

OP, I would call or email the school and ask anonymously. You'll get a more definitive answer than you could here.

 

[ppfizenm]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

Sent from my SCH-R910 using Tapatalk

I was thinking the same thing. And I don't think it is trolling. What makes any of you think that raising a one-year old in your first year of med school will be any easier then giving birth during it?

 

[MiracleforMD]

I was thinking the same thing. And I don't think it is trolling. What makes any of you think that raising a one-year old in your first year of med school will be any easier then giving birth during it?

That is really not what is being discussed here and 2-3 posters above me already stated what needed to be said about the glaringly obvious fact that either she has considered it or is already against it, nullifying the need for discussion.

And the number of threads that TriagePreMed consistently sounds like an idiot in amazes me.

 

[ppfizenm]

That is really not what is being discussed here and 2-3 posters above me already stated what needed to be said about the glaringly obvious fact that either she has considered it or is already against it, nullifying the need for discussion.

And the number of threads that TriagePreMed consistently sounds like an idiot in amazes me.

The way he sounds to you is inconsequential. It raises a point not raised by the OP. She presumably doesn't want to give birth during med school b/c it would be hard/she'd fall behind/have to take care of a newborn. One year olds aren't a huge deal different. Arguably it would be easier to give birth while you're in med school b/c there is a good 3 months there that would be baby free. Starting with a baby already around won't be easier. If she plans on going next year I also assume she has someone who will help her raise it in which case it would still be better to start now. Labor is a few day ordeal, and barring complications, you can be back to school within a week.

obviously her plan is her plan though, and for the question OP is asking her best course of action would be to make an anonymous phone call to the school.

 

[LizzyM]

A school taking you from the waitlist wants you to fill a seat stat! I don't make these decisions at my school (and which is not UBuffalo) but I wouldn't give a deferral to anyone on the waitlist for any reason. (On the other hand, if you were on the waitlist, came off the waitlist, and then had a catastrophic accident, I could see granting a deferral-- a pregnancy you already know about at the time you come off the waitlist is not in the same category.)

 

[sliceofbread136]

The way he sounds to you is inconsequential. It raises a point not raised by the OP. She presumably doesn't want to give birth during med school b/c it would be hard/she'd fall behind/have to take care of a newborn. One year olds aren't a huge deal different. Arguably it would be easier to give birth while you're in med school b/c there is a good 3 months there that would be baby free. Starting with a baby already around won't be easier. If she plans on going next year I also assume she has someone who will help her raise it in which case it would still be better to start now. Labor is a few day ordeal, and barring complications, you can be back to school within a week.

obviously her plan is her plan though, and for the question OP is asking her best course of action would be to make an anonymous phone call to the school.

I think aborting an otherwise wanted baby for the reasons you listed is kind of extreme... but to each his own.

 

[EBTrailRunner]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

SMH... I don't think OP would've created this thread if she hadn't already decided to go through with her pregnancy.

 

[ppfizenm]

I think aborting an otherwise wanted baby for the reasons you listed is kind of extreme... but to each his own.

Do you think women who abort babies don't want them? One of the most cited reasons for abortion is that it isn't the right time to have one due to work/school/ect, not that they don't want the baby.

 

[sliceofbread136]

Do you think women who abort babies don't want them? One of the most cited reasons for abortion is that it isn't the right time to have one due to work/school/ect, not that they don't want the baby.

Did not know that. Personally, I still think an abortion for those reasons is extreme if the baby is with someone who you already expected to be with for the rest of your life (unless you're really young, like in highschool). But that is just how I feel, and the choice is not mine to make.

 

[ppfizenm]

Did not know that. Personally, I still think an abortion for those reasons is extreme if the baby is with someone who you already expected to be with for the rest of your life (unless you're really young, like in highschool). But that is just how I feel, and the choice is not mine to make.

Obviously I am not encouraging her to abort her child, I think I was advocating for not deferring. It is always an option though. Some people have enough trouble taking care of themselves during med school.

 

[MiracleforMD]

The way he sounds to you is inconsequential. It raises a point not raised by the OP. She presumably doesn't want to give birth during med school b/c it would be hard/she'd fall behind/have to take care of a newborn. One year olds aren't a huge deal different. Arguably it would be easier to give birth while you're in med school b/c there is a good 3 months there that would be baby free. Starting with a baby already around won't be easier. If she plans on going next year I also assume she has someone who will help her raise it in which case it would still be better to start now. Labor is a few day ordeal, and barring complications, you can be back to school within a week.

obviously her plan is her plan though, and for the question OP is asking her best course of action would be to make an anonymous phone call to the school.

Other than amazing me with his idiocy, yes otherwise inconsequential. I think you are making some uncorroborated assumptions about OP's position and concerns, albeit seemingly very reasonable. My point was mainly that while I'm quite sure a debate about the best time to have a baby while entering medical school could go on for days, OP was really not asking that.

 

[biggiesmallsiz1]

waitlisted & pregnant.

season 1 premiering on MTV this June!

 

[sliceofbread136]

I'm pretty sure OP didn't want this thread to turn into an abortion discussion haha. OP, just call in anonymously and ask the school of interest. If it doesn't work out, you'll have to decide if you want to do your first year of medical while dealing with your soon to be child. If you decide you'd rather reapply, then I'm sure you'll get in again.

 

[cougardiver]

You can always just get an abortion and have a child when you are ready. Yes, I know this comment is controversial, but it's something some may consider.

Sent from my SCH-R910 using Tapatalk

That is the most selfish, ridiculous comment I have ever seen on this forum

 

[biggiesmallsiz1]

(redneck accent)

I WANA KEEP MAH BAY BAY

 

[AvidAvatar]

The program is using a wait-list to fill a seat this year, not next year! There is no reason why you should even bring this up to your school, just go if you get accepted! I met a girl up at University of Pittsburgh who had a baby the first week of medical school and she is doing alright. This stuff happens and it is going to be no easier to work with a toddler next year than it will be a newborn this year. In fact, having a toddler my be even more stressful!

If you get your seat I say you take it. Then, if you start having problems, THEN try to just sit a year out. I know a few students who had to do this because of family troubles and neither of them got any guff. Also, if you recently found out you are pregnant, you should be able sneak some if not most of the first semester of first year in before baby comes, so you will have plenty of time to get situated.

Good luck.

 

[SpecterGT260]

I was thinking the same thing. And I don't think it is trolling. What makes any of you think that raising a one-year old in your first year of med school will be any easier then giving birth during it?

You are working under the assumption that this is an unwanted pregnancy. We have a few people in my class w newborns.
Just matriculate. It will be fine

 

[ppfizenm]

You are working under the assumption that this is an unwanted pregnancy. We have a few people in my class w newborns.
Just matriculate. It will be fine

well it's obvious the pregnancy wasn't planned but I don't think I suggested it was unwanted. I suggested matriculating

 

[Porfirio]

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

I would never defer.

There is never a "right time" to get married or have kids. Suck it up, and do what you have to do. If you want something in life, you have to make it work.

Or, this might be a good troll.

 

[Geekchick921]

I know this isn't an answer to your question, and maybe you have no interest in this, but I know of at least one other member who started school late in pregnancy (GeekChick). If you're interested, you might want to PM her for more info.

Hi!
<--- That's my ~12 week ultrasound with the baby I started medical school carrying. I started in August at about 32 weeks pregnant and had my son 3 days after my gross anatomy final. The second block was hardest but now that he's old enough to go to daycare with his sister (I have a 3-year-old, too) it's going much more smoothly. PM me if you want.

Don't be an ass--if that were an option she were willing to consider, I'm sure she wouldn't be here asking this.

And there really is no perfect time to start a family during the whole med school-->residency-->career process. If anything, parenting an infant during the first two years of medical school, when your schedule is still somewhat yours to control (study at home, watch videos instead of going to class at some schools) is one of the better times.

This. If you wanted to have kids any point in your medical training, it's going to be challenging. We tried to get pregnant with our son before I would have started school... no such luck, but since we weren't interested in putting several more years between our kids, we kept trying. It is what it is, and it's really been better than I thought it was going to be. My school has also been very supportive and accommodating (I didn't ask for a lot of special treatment and they were more than willing to help me out).

If you have good partner and family support and reliable childcare, you can make it work if you're willing. Someone will need to be able to watch the baby on days you HAVE to go in to school before they're old enough for childcare, you will need to be content with just passing sometimes, and you'll have to get over not being able to go out after your classmates very often, but that doesn't mean you won't be happy. I know I am. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck getting off the waitlist and with whatever you decide to do.

Again, please PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Ismet]

I talked to an MS4 at one of my interviews who was married to another med student and they had one child the summer before starting MS1, another the summer between MS2 and MS3, and she's pregnant again. He said that the school has been really supportive and that although it's difficult to balance toddlers and medical school (it's difficult to manage toddlers and anything else really), it has been completely doable and they have no regrets.

I'd say it would be doable to matriculate, especially because you have a support system in place already. But call the school anonymously first and see what their policy is.

Best of luck, and congrats!!

 

[SpecterGT260]

well it's obvious the pregnancy wasn't planned but I don't think I suggested it was unwanted. I suggested matriculating

I didn't see the OP repost.... nor did I see anything that precludes her from being a married woman who has been trying to start a family and 2 life goals simply coincided in an inconvenient way. That said, there is also nothing precluding the possibility that she is an exceptionally bright town floozy who has been waitlisted... I'm just saying that the tone in here is almost suggesting the later as fact rather than keeping the possibility open that this is a wanted pregnancy.

 

[beanbean]

I had my son about 2 weeks after starting med school. UConn was extremely supportive. They told me I could matriculate or defer. They also told me that if I matriculated and then had to withdraw due to complications I could start again the next year and only be out the tuition for the months I had attended.

I matriculated and had no issues. I already had 2 daughters and my son was a bit of a surprise for my husband and I. Personally, MS1 was the best time for me to have had another child. Much of the material in the first half of the year was review as I had just finished post-bacc. Life only got busier in the subsequent med school years and residency.

That being said having a strong support system is essential. My husband I are had family nearby and his job gave us a salary that allowed us to hire a nanny. Most med students are not in that type of financial situation.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you hear regarding the wait list soon!

Deirdre

 

[Maxwell7301]

Hello,

I am currently waitlisted at my top choice school. I'm on the upper third of the waitlist, and after doing some research, it seems that I have a high chance of acceptance during the summer. I have one more interview coming up, and I'm assuming that I was rejected from the other schools I haven't heard from.

I also recently found out that I'm pregnant. I know that pregnancy is a pretty valid reason to defer at most schools, but I know that it may be different when you're coming off of a waitlist. I read that some schools do not allow deferrals when someone's accepted off of a waitlist. Although I have a lot of family support, I'm due in early November, so I pretty much have no choice but to defer.

I really would rather not have to reapply because my MCAT scores expire after this year, so I would have to retake it before applying. I also worked really hard this year before applying.

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it would be possible for me to defer (assuming I was accepted in June off of the waitlist)? Would they make an exception because of my circumstances? Thanks so much for your help in advance.

Hey, if you're in the top third of the Buffalo waitlist, you are almost guaranteed to be accepted by the summer, possibly earlier.

Whether you want to wait for the acceptance to make the necessary arrangements is up to you.

Dr. Severin, the Dean of Admissions, is an extremely understanding and caring man. I don't expect that you will have any problems if you need to defer for a year.

Good luck!

 

[45408]

And there really is no perfect time to start a family during the whole med school-->residency-->career process. If anything, parenting an infant during the first two years of medical school, when your schedule is still somewhat yours to control (study at home, watch videos instead of going to class at some schools) is one of the better times.

Nah, M4 is a much better time, and you're older. The largest proportion of children born to my classmates was during M4. My first son was born then (sometimes I wish my 2004 self could have read some of these posts....)

 

[ppfizenm]

I didn't see the OP repost.... nor did I see anything that precludes her from being a married woman who has been trying to start a family and 2 life goals simply coincided in an inconvenient way. That said, there is also nothing precluding the possibility that she is an exceptionally bright town floozy who has been waitlisted... I'm just saying that the tone in here is almost suggesting the later as fact rather than keeping the possibility open that this is a wanted pregnancy.

Lmao. Well I don't think an accidental pregnancy can't be wanted. She also doesn't have to be a floozy. If it was planned you'd think med school apps would have been delayed a year or something. Perhaps she is just a girl (standing in front of a boy asking him to love her) with a b/f or husband and birth control failed.

 

[SpecterGT260]

Conceived in feb (1-2 months ago). There is a lot of wiggle room there. I'm just saying the abortion talk relies on a few underlying assumptions which, however likely due to our own personal experiences, cannot be applied.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Don't be an ass--if that were an option she were willing to consider, I'm sure she wouldn't be here asking this.

And there really is no perfect time to start a family during the whole med school-->residency-->career process. If anything, parenting an infant during the first two years of medical school, when your schedule is still somewhat yours to control (study at home, watch videos instead of going to class at some schools) is one of the better times.

I can almost guarantee that any woman who becomes pregnant at an inconvenient time would be able to think of and fully consider that possible answer on their own, so what point does your comment serve, other than to trolling-ly derail this thread into another "pro choice vs pro life" train wreck?

Yeah, I am very much in favor of a woman's right to choose, but this is a tactless comment. Clearly OP has made a choice or she wouldn't have posted this.

SMH... I don't think OP would've created this thread if she hadn't already decided to go through with her pregnancy.

That is the most selfish, ridiculous comment I have ever seen on this forum

Yes, I knew the potential to start a downward spiral existed in my comment, but I wasn't trying to be an ass or trolling.

I understand some people (not everyone I'm quoting) still want to shame women in today's society by keeping abortion seeming somehow "dirty," which is why I made the comment. It's entirely possible that the OP is considering this option, but she won't come here for that suggestion because instantly it will seem tacky or offensive or something like that. But in fact, my comment is an empowerment comment. It's to let her know that making that decision, if taken, is not at all something of shame or that everyone will judge her.

And to the person that said there's no perfect time, that's true, but some times are better than others. I don't see anything wrong with discussing if it's the wrong time.

As for being selfish, I don't see how. I gain no benefit from the OP having a baby or getting an abortion. Again, sounds like another "abortion must be shameful" type comment that keeps some women from seeing it as a viable option. No, there's nothing shameful with a woman deciding to raise a child until she feels fully prepared and that her life won't be impacted too negatively. I find much more abhorrent the idea of a child growing up feeling he took his mother's dreams away than an abortion (a possibility. I'm not stating this is for sure how it must go down). And for all you know, she might be considering it as an option if she doesn't get a deferral.

 

[ppfizenm]

Conceived in feb (1-2 months ago). There is a lot of wiggle room there. I'm just saying the abortion talk relies on a few underlying assumptions which, however likely due to our own personal experiences, cannot be applied.

Well the only way I am ever getting a woman pregnant is with IVF so I don't think my experiences come into play. I think there is basis for my underlying assumptions though otherwise I wouldn't have made them.

 

[SpecterGT260]

Well the only way I am ever getting a woman pregnant is with IVF so I don't think my experiences come into play. I think there is basis for my underlying assumptions though otherwise I wouldn't have made them.

You didn't assume she is a classical pre med: early 20s and unmarried, and the only way she would get preggers is on accident in an unwanted situation? I mean... You did... But will you admit to it? I'm not saying this isn't the OPs situation, but past experience with impregnation has nothing to do with forming assumptions based on your total experiences. There isn't an assumption made that isn't somehow based on a persons subjective experience.... Debating that point was just silly.

 

[tantacles]

Did not know that. Personally, I still think an abortion for those reasons is extreme if the baby is with someone who you already expected to be with for the rest of your life (unless you're really young, like in highschool). But that is just how I feel, and the choice is not mine to make.

An abortion, for any woman who does not want a child for any reason, is a blessing. I don't think this would be too bold a choice given what's at stake. Yes, OP COULD raise a child during medical school, but has the option not to, and I honestly think that's wonderful. She gets to make this choice rather than have it made for her.

 

[tantacles]

You didn't assume she is a classical pre med: early 20s and unmarried, and the only way she would get preggers is on accident in an unwanted situation? I mean... You did... But will you admit to it? I'm not saying this isn't the OPs situation, but past experience with impregnation has nothing to do with forming assumptions based on your total experiences. There isn't an assumption made that isn't somehow based on a persons subjective experience.... Debating that point was just silly.

I didn't see him making any such assumption. All of his statements were hypothetical and not targeted to anyone but people who have an unplanned pregnancy going into medical school. Like he said, unplanned but not unwanted.

 

[SpecterGT260]

That is still an assumption. Do you know the OP is not 40 years old, married, with 2 kids already? We have one of those in my class. Another girl gave birth to her 2nd the summer before our first year. I'm not saying that assumptions are bad, or inappropriate..... Just that they are. Try to tell me the responses here haven't been modified to fit with a 22 year old with a broken condom over a non-trad housewife.
I bet she is the former, all I have been saying is the "seems perfectly reasonable" defense to the abortion comment requires this to be assumed. You wouldn't say that to an expecting mother of 3, would you?

 

[Sephiroth]

I bet she is the former, all I have been saying is the "seems perfectly reasonable" defense to the abortion comment requires this to be assumed. You wouldn't say that to an expecting mother of 3, would you?

Perhaps one might be more hesitant to, but much of the same reasoning could still be applied - though it may not quite as bad in the latter situation, the issues of late term pregnancy, birthing, nursing and generally caring for an infant are still there.

 

[tantacles]

That is still an assumption. Do you know the OP is not 40 years old, married, with 2 kids already? We have one of those in my class. Another girl gave birth to her 2nd the summer before our first year. I'm not saying that assumptions are bad, or inappropriate..... Just that they are. Try to tell me the responses here haven't been modified to fit with a 22 year old with a broken condom over a non-trad housewife.
I bet she is the former, all I have been saying is the "seems perfectly reasonable" defense to the abortion comment requires this to be assumed. You wouldn't say that to an expecting mother of 3, would you?

Age wasn't mentioned at all in any of these posts. Again, unplanned is not the same as unwanted. We said unplanned. 40 year olds have unplanned pregnancies. So do 22 year olds. You're extrapolating beyond what is reasonable.

And as far as the abortion, if an expecting mother of 3 were pregnant, I would absolutely suggest she get an abortion. In fact, I'd be more likely to suggest that to someone who already has 3 children than to someone who has none. Women who have children already make up a large portion of the population that terminates pregnancies.

 

[tenndoc]

this sounds like the next big MTV show

 

[ppfizenm]

You didn't assume she is a classical pre med: early 20s and unmarried, and the only way she would get preggers is on accident in an unwanted situation? I mean... You did... But will you admit to it? I'm not saying this isn't the OPs situation, but past experience with impregnation has nothing to do with forming assumptions based on your total experiences. There isn't an assumption made that isn't somehow based on a persons subjective experience.... Debating that point was just silly.

I based it off of what she said and what I can gather from examining the situation. There is nothing wrong with making inferences from contextual clues. Nowhere do I speculate that she is a classical pre-med however. You have to separate what you see as someone's assumptions from clear contrasts to other's opinions.

Here is my assumption you are talking about:
1. The baby was unplanned - she was applying to med school at the time and wants to defer for a year. It stands to reason that if she was planning on getting pregnant therefore she wouldn't have applied this cycle. (text below)

"well it's obvious the pregnancy wasn't planned but I don't think I suggested it was unwanted. I suggested matriculating"

The only other assumptions I made were about her reasons for seeking the deferral and the care situation for the infant, the reasoning for all of which is explained above.

If my own subjective bias comes into play I really can't see where. I'd say the assumptions are more logical than flavored with subjective experience.

This was clear contrast to your response. Not an assumption based in fact and shouldn't be treated as such.

Lmao. Well I don't think an accidental pregnancy can't be wanted. She also doesn't have to be a floozy. If it was planned you'd think med school apps would have been delayed a year or something. Perhaps she is just a girl (standing in front of a boy asking him to love her) with a b/f or husband and birth control failed.

btw the way the whole girl standing in front of a boy thing is a reference to a movie. Shouldn't be taken as an assumption of her age.

 

[SpecterGT260]

Age wasn't mentioned at all in any of these posts. Again, unplanned is not the same as unwanted. We said unplanned. 40 year olds have unplanned pregnancies. So do 22 year olds. You're extrapolating beyond what is reasonable.

And as far as the abortion, if an expecting mother of 3 were pregnant, I would absolutely suggest she get an abortion. In fact, I'd be more likely to suggest that to someone who already has 3 children than to someone who has none. Women who have children already make up a large portion of the population that terminates pregnancies.

No. I simply am not. We cannot even say with certainty this is unplanned. I've already said I agree with the suggested assumptions. My ONLY point is that defending the abortion comment as done above is BS. Since you do not seem capable of addressing that topic and insist on putting words in my mouth in order to substantiate your posts (unplanned vs unwanted is irrelevant... My point is we don't know either and you guys are making assumptions... And you made the assumption I was calling unplanned and unwanted equivalent.... *facepalm*), I am only left concluding that you are in fact the one extrapolating beyond what is reasonable.

I gotta go.... My irony meter just blew a circuit after reading that. Gotta go find a replacement.