waitlisted & pregnant - can i defer (if accepted)?

[SpecterGT260]

I based it off of what she said and what I can gather from examining the situation. There is nothing wrong with making inferences from contextual clues. Nowhere do I speculate that she is a classical pre-med however. You have to separate what you see as someone's assumptions from clear contrasts to other's opinions.

Here is my assumption you are talking about:
1. The baby was unplanned - she was applying to med school at the time and wants to defer for a year. It stands to reason that if she was planning on getting pregnant therefore she wouldn't have applied this cycle. (text below)

"well it's obvious the pregnancy wasn't planned but I don't think I suggested it was unwanted. I suggested matriculating"

The only other assumptions I made were about her reasons for seeking the deferral and the care situation for the infant, the reasoning for all of which is explained above.

If my own subjective bias comes into play I really can't see where. I'd say the assumptions are more logical than flavored with subjective experience.

This was clear contrast to your response. Not an assumption based in fact and shouldn't be treated as such.



btw the way the whole girl standing in front of a boy thing is a reference to a movie. Shouldn't be taken as an assumption of her age.

To respond to where you quoted yourself... You don't think it is at all reasonable to want 2 things, and to try for both hoping the timing works out? I'd do it if I were in that position. To only aim for one means you run the risk of getting neither. Why else apply to multiple schools? Look at all the DO kids with their personal crisis threads about getting into a less desirable school and not knowing if they should pay the seat deposit or hold out for their top choice. It happens to a lesser degree in Pre allo. Severity of conflict is just on a continuum and there is no strict dividing line that makes wanting a kid and med school any different than applying to different schools. You probably have a rank in your head of which you prefer and try for both (all) and see where your options fall. Would I personally plan a family in med school? No. But this doesn't mean it is obvious that someone would delay apps an entire year based on the uncertainty of becoming pregnant.


And before anyone calls me out for extrapolating or any other such nonsense.... Please go look up "devils advocate" before posting.

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[natorx]

I'm pro-choice.

But putting a pharmacy school spot, over a family/ child is just dumb. Troll comment is troll. You don't think having an abortion, and then going into a rigorous program won't have it's emotional toll?

People go to school with kids all the time, some of ignorant people need to climb out your cave, and see what real life looks like.

 

[SpecterGT260]

well it's obvious the pregnancy wasn't planned but I don't think I suggested it was unwanted. I suggested matriculating

This is all I am responding to. You attempt to differentiate between unwanted and unplanned which are often synonymous for all intents and purposes. I'm just saying the distinction is irrelevant because what you call "obvious" here is not obvious. It is an assumption. If we wanted to really split hairs I would concede that a November birth was unplanned.

 

[ppfizenm]

To respond to where you quoted yourself... You don't think it is at all reasonable to want 2 things, and to try for both hoping the timing works out? I'd do it if I were in that position. To only aim for one means you run the risk of getting neither. Why else apply to multiple schools? Look at all the DO kids with their personal crisis threads about getting into a less desirable school and not knowing if they should pay the seat deposit or hold out for their top choice. It happens to a lesser degree in Pre allo. Severity of conflict is just on a continuum and there is no strict dividing line that makes wanting a kid and med school any different than applying to different schools. You probably have a rank in your head of which you prefer and try for both (all) and see where your options fall. Would I personally plan a family in med school? No. But this doesn't mean it is obvious that someone would delay apps an entire year based on the uncertainty of becoming pregnant.


And before anyone calls me out for extrapolating or any other such nonsense.... Please go look up "devils advocate" before posting.

This is all I am responding to. You attempt to differentiate between unwanted and unplanned which are often synonymous for all intents and purposes. I'm just saying the distinction is irrelevant because what you call "obvious" here is not obvious. It is an assumption. If we wanted to really split hairs I would concede that a November birth was unplanned.

I'll concede that obvious was a poor word choice but I still think it is the most logical explanation for what happened. An expected November birth would put the time of conception last month sometime. The OP has already interviewed and been waitlisted at present in March. The standard response time is usually 6-8 weeks so she must have at least had an inkling that she might be matriculating in the Fall as she would have had to, at the latest, get the interviews in January, but probably in December. If she was trying for a child at that time, b/c she is seeking a deferral now, it would seem like she would have stopped trying for a kid.

I do see your point above (a good one) and understand that priorities differ between people. I also admit everything I have said would be negated if she was actively trying to do both.

 

[Truffles84]

Wow, my notifications must have been turned off because I didn't realize my post had so many responses. Anyway, I just wanted to add a few things.

First of all, I did not expect to be attending medical school this fall, which is why this situation happened in the first place. I had a very low MCAT verbal score, but since my score was expiring this year, I wanted to use it anyway. After receiving many rejections and no interview invitations, I actually began preparing to retake the MCAT this summer, so that I could reapply the following year.

When I received the interview invitation in March, I already knew that I was pregnant, and I was very surprised because, as I said, I did not expect any interviews this year.
However, despite my original plan to reapply, I would not want to turn down an acceptance offer. Considering how hard it is to get into med school, that plan only makes sense if I didn't get accepted.

As for abortion, I am getting married in 2 months (which was planned before I got pregnant), and we did plan on having children, so it's not something that makes sense in my situation. I'm also 28, which is not old of course, but I definitely feel my biological clock more so than I did right after graduating college.

Anyway, I am still on the waitlist as of now and also waiting to hear from another school, so hopefully one of these schools will be willing to accomodate my situation. I would rather take a year off and adjust to being a new mom rather than have to deal with being a med student on top of that. Of course, if I'm not given the choice to defer, I guess I'll have to deal with both because both are important to me.

 

[aquarius3]

Wow, my notifications must have been turned off because I didn't realize my post had so many responses. Anyway, I just wanted to add a few things.

First of all, I did not expect to be attending medical school this fall, which is why this situation happened in the first place. I had a very low MCAT verbal score, but since my score was expiring this year, I wanted to use it anyway. After receiving many rejections and no interview invitations, I actually began preparing to retake the MCAT this summer, so that I could reapply the following year.

When I received the interview invitation in March, I already knew that I was pregnant, and I was very surprised because, as I said, I did not expect any interviews this year.
However, despite my original plan to reapply, I would not want to turn down an acceptance offer. Considering how hard it is to get into med school, that plan only makes sense if I didn't get accepted.

As for abortion, I am getting married in 2 months (which was planned before I got pregnant), and we did plan on having children, so it's not something that makes sense in my situation. I'm also 28, which is not old of course, but I definitely feel my biological clock more so than I did right after graduating college.

Anyway, I am still on the waitlist as of now and also waiting to hear from another school, so hopefully one of these schools will be willing to accomodate my situation. I would rather take a year off and adjust to being a new mom rather than have to deal with being a med student on top of that. Of course, if I'm not given the choice to defer, I guess I'll have to deal with both because both are important to me.

I really hope it works out for you! You can do it all if you have to! You shouldn't have to "have an abortion" ( ) or put your personal life plans on hold in order to reach your goals. That's ridiculous. It's all about balance.

 

[Aerus]

You can definitely do it! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations on both this and your marriage! It seems you do have people who will be there for you and will be able to support you through this time. I would suggest matriculating if you get off the waitlist and try to balance your life. It's going to be a tough road, but you will not regret it in the end!

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[Tatiana3325]

It would be a serious no-no for them to reject you because you are pregnant since pregnancy is a protected status under federal law.

Yes but how could she ever prove that she was rejected because she was pregnant?

 

[Tatiana3325]

To respond to where you quoted yourself... You don't think it is at all reasonable to want 2 things, and to try for both hoping the timing works out? I'd do it if I were in that position. To only aim for one means you run the risk of getting neither. Why else apply to multiple schools? Look at all the DO kids with their personal crisis threads about getting into a less desirable school and not knowing if they should pay the seat deposit or hold out for their top choice. It happens to a lesser degree in Pre allo. Severity of conflict is just on a continuum and there is no strict dividing line that makes wanting a kid and med school any different than applying to different schools. You probably have a rank in your head of which you prefer and try for both (all) and see where your options fall. Would I personally plan a family in med school? No. But this doesn't mean it is obvious that someone would delay apps an entire year based on the uncertainty of becoming pregnant.


And before anyone calls me out for extrapolating or any other such nonsense.... Please go look up "devils advocate" before posting.

Are you a man or a woman? You sound like a man but I thought I'd ask to be sure......

 

[SpecterGT260]

what tipped you off? was it the level-headed rationality in a topic with the word "baby" in it?

 

[TheMightySmiter]

what tipped you off? was it the level-headed rationality in a topic with the word "baby" in it?

And the truth comes out. What a d-bag.

 

[SpecterGT260]

how exactly do you justify that statement? was it in defending the OP all this time against a series of pre-med boys who think abortion was the logical answer or that the OP was obviously just making poor personal decisions by getting pregnant?

did you even read the thread? what is the socially-acceptable female equivalent to "d-bag", anyways? Bitch doesnt work on grounds of acceptability, nor does it appropriately convey the level of "silliness" that I would like. Care to help me with my retort?

EDIT: that might have been harsh... but this will be harsher (assuming you understand it): we have been arguing for the same side against the same people in this thread. your immediate response to me does nothing other than to validate my previous post which was meant as a joke. curb your knee-jerk emotions and use your brain, please - lest you validate whatever is left of sexism in our society and risk the strong, successful, and rational women being lumped in with you and your nonsense.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

how exactly do you justify that statement? was it in defending the OP all this time against a series of pre-med boys who think abortion was the logical answer or that the OP was obviously just making poor personal decisions by getting pregnant?

did you even read the thread? what is the socially-acceptable female equivalent to "d-bag", anyways? Bitch doesnt work on grounds of acceptability, nor does it appropriately convey the level of "silliness" that I would like. Care to help me with my retort?

I was only referring to your comment about how you must be a male because you can speak rationally about childbirth. And I'm certain you can call females d-bags too, so feel free to call me that if you wish.

 

[SpecterGT260]

you still need to settle down a little. might I suggest hysteria treatments circa early 1900's? I'd rather be called a d-bag for a joke than be guilty of pigeonholing someone for 1 statement based on ill-conceived insecurities.

 

[FutureCTDoc]

Consider an au pair, they get a small stipend and a place to live and you get childcare.

 

[otggwmfs]

.

 

[SpecterGT260]

Most ridiculous comeback ever.

Ahh of course, you're the 'rational' one. Before I try arguing with you I'll just try to 'settle down' first and go get some sexual release, because I'm female, and of course the only reason I would take issue with what you've said is because I'm just so unsatisfied. Thanks for saving me the trouble.

you see this? this is what I call "missing the point"

 

[otggwmfs]

..

 

[Sephiroth]

What was your point then? Did you not tell a female poster she needed to 'settle down' and suggested treatments for hysteria? I simply cannot stand the implication that when a woman argues she is just being irrational and is probably unsatisfied, when they claim to be cool-headed themselves. Ridiculous premise. I hope your comeback is that it was a joke, an extremely poor one, if that.

It definitely looked like sarcasm to me. I think the difference in peoples' abilities to detect sarcasm is multiplied when just dealing with text.

 

[SpecterGT260]

What was your point then? Did you not tell a female poster she needed to 'settle down' and suggested treatments for hysteria? I simply cannot stand the implication that when a woman argues she is just being irrational and is probably unsatisfied, when they claim to be cool-headed themselves. Ridiculous premise. I hope your comeback is that it was a joke, an extremely poor one, if that.

well the word "joke" WAS in the post your originally quoted.
But no, not a joke, just incredibly sarcastic. there is a difference. A joke implies it was all in good fun. Sarcasm implies it was done in lieu of a brain aneurysm (which I am pretty sure is the only other alternative when confronted with someone getting all butthurt over nothing). Neither of these imply that the poster actually believes what was said.

Your over sensitivity to this implication suggests you have a long history of "missing the point". Nobody actually believes that sexual frustration is what causes a woman to argue. it is a well known fact, however, that it will stick deep in the craw of a woman who is getting inappropriately self-righteous about gender issues.

 

[SpecterGT260]

It definitely looked like sarcasm to me. I think the difference in peoples' abilities to detect sarcasm is multiplied when just dealing with text.

and grows exponentially when the subject matter hits a sore spot.

 

[otggwmfs]

.

 

[SpecterGT260]

oh god! signature updated for your benefit. sheesh. make sure to click the bold term

The fact that you think you are "bringing to my attention" anything in that post only reinforces my claim that you have missed the point. The major problem here is that if I am forced to spell it out for you it somewhat validates the claims that you misinterpreted and that I wasn't intending to make in the first place. If you want to dispel whatever notions you are railing against, you need to stop being irrational and yes, it is irrational to continue an onslaught against an imaginary threat or insult which is exactly what you are doing right now.

you can go ahead and take issue with whatever you want. where you miss the point is that the thing you are taking issue with didnt actually happen. That is, by definition, irrational. You are combating hyperbole.

 

[otggwmfs]

.

 

[SpecterGT260]

did you miss the part where I warned you that having to hold your hand through this would be bad?
at first, I didnt have a point. Tatiana suggested I type "like a man", so I jokingly said the thing about rationality about baby-talk because I suspect her real meaning had more to do with a perceived insensitivity to female issues.

This got the mighty smiter all butthurt because she has difficulty tracking a conversation and didnt realize that we have been on the same side of this the whole time. Since she wanted to act like such an insignificant comment made me a raving sexist I figured it was more worthwhile to get sarcastic because the alternative causes me to lose brain cells.

And this is where you come in....
I really shouldnt have had to re-explain all of this to you.. but....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTnESKUl7Hc

 

[Praefectus]

In B4

 

[SpecterGT260]

In B4

heh, id honestly like to know why tatiana asked me that before the thread gets locked due to a lot of misplaced angst.

 

[Praefectus]

heh, id honestly like to know why tatiana asked me that before the thread gets locked due to a lot of misplaced angst.

I feel like this would be an interesting read for you: http://www.economics.harvard.edu/fa...reer+and+Marriage+in+the+Age+of++the+Pill.pdf

 

[SpecterGT260]

then you have also missed the point.

 

[otggwmfs]

.

 

[SpecterGT260]

So far, no one has gotten the point. You seem to believe this is because no one here has the ability to read a post or thread properly, I think it's because you're a condescending d-bag who cannot argue logically.

Leaving now.

I will admit to condescending. You are wrong on the other counts
The point was sarcasm. that was said quite a few times. sarcasm does not denote an actual belief in what was stated. So all of your ranting against being seen as a hysterical woman due to whatever... it is irrelevant. The fact that it was sarcasm and openly stated as sarcasm means that you have been railing against something that did not happen. Sephiroth got it you and this other guy posting the thing about the pill have an inability to follow sarcasm. That's all.

and even at that.... your criteria for "nobody" is a whopping 2 people.... all of this because of a childish overraction to a statement about being level-headed

The "point" is that I am not about to get called out by someone who missed the sarcasm in the first place. You, praefectus, and smiter all missed the sarcasm in both the "level-headed" and "hysteria" posts. If you hadn't you would understand how irrelevant all your posts have been since then.