Write your own rejection letter

[KNightInBlue]

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Members don't see this ad.

Dear applicant:
From your application and interview we know that you like baseball. So we will put this in terms you will easily understand.

Strike 3 YOUR OUT!!!!!

Good luck in the minor leagues.

Sincerely
Your safety school

HAHAHAHAHA I didn't even see where the ball was going the first time I saw it

 

[GIGATT]

Dear GIGATT,

We looked up your file on AMCAS and noticed that you don't have any acceptances. That's funny- at least we're helping you to maintain consistancy in your life.

Sincerely,

Admissions office (or, if you prefer to call us: Your personal Non-addmissions office)

 

[degoo_]

Dear Applicant,

The committee has reached a decision regarding your application. Please be advised that we are not responding to phone, mail or email inquiries at this time.

Thank you.

This has got to be the cruelest rejection letter ever.

Dear greg1184,

You have been rejected.
Offical word is in this link: http://greg1184.justgotowned.com/

Have a nice day,
Dean of Admissions

This has got to be the most innovative.

 

[KaraKiz]

Dear KaraKiz,

Thanks, but no thanks.

Sincerely,
Director of Admissions

 

[Wackie]

Dear Applicant,

It has been brought to our attention that you used the restroom while visiting our facilities. Please understand that physicians do not $hit. We do not feel you have the qualities of a physician at this time. Better luck next time.



Sincerely,

Dean


PS, minus 5 points for those hidious shoes you wore. I mean OMFG LOL'erz!

 

[lina123321]

dear [insert student name here],

in regards to your application: LOL

sincerely,

[insert school name]

 

[Tired]

Dear Mr. Tired,

Despite your excellent scores and recommendations, we are unable to offer you admission to our medical program. As you may or may not have known, matriculation to our school generally follows one of two tracks: either you are of the proper "pedigree" (Ivy-league undergraduate degree, WASP family); or you have an interesting non-traditional background that we can use for public relations purposes. Your background as a self-supporting white male Catholic is simply not the type of image our institution wishes to project. Frankly, we were suprised you even showed up to the interview, since most students with your background recognize a "courtesy" interview when they get one.

We hope you enjoyed your time in New Haven; please pay no mind to the fact that the surrounding community hates us with a passion. Also, please don't take it too hard that, while we were willing to admit a former high-level official of the Taliban, you don't make the cut.

Sincerely,
Yale Admissions Committee

 

[silverlining1]

Dear silverlining1,

We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to Your Dream Medical School. An unprecedented number of extraordinary applicants applied this year, and we would like to give you an idea of how you pale in comparison to them so that you can better understand your shortcomings.

--One applicant was abandoned by his parents and raised by wolves until he was four. After a kind couple rescued him and taught him the ways of humans, he became very interested in animal physiology and won the National Science Fair when he was 8 by discovering a method to extract stem cells from chimpanzees and use them to grow a kidney, suitable for transplantation into a human. Meanwhile, he also began to train professionally as a salsa dancer, figure skater, and pole vaulter, all of which he has excelled in; for example, he recently won the gold medal in the Junior Olympics for figure skating and has set the national record for pole vault. He has maintained a 5.0 grade point average throughout his education and is currently assisting his professors in developing class curricula while continuing his sophisticated transplantation research.
--Another applicant thought she wanted to be an interior designer until she developed a malignant brain tumor at age 15. As the tumor metastasized to her breast, knee, lung, pancreas, and liver, she found support in her family and was amazed at the kindness and persistence of her doctors. Now in remission for 2 years, she has established an AIDS clinic in Africa, made Nobel Prize-worthy advances in cancer research, written and starred in an award-winning documentary about life as a cancer patient, and started a program she decorates hospital rooms of terminally ill patients to make them feel more comfortable.

As you can clearly see, the caliber of the admitted applicants is simply astounding, and your dedication to tutoring young children and volunteering at a free community clinic are simply not enough. We know you've spent many hours studying, taking exams, writing essays, organizing events, teaching classes, conversing with hospital patients, and trying to be a happy human being, but again, we are sorry to say that you did not meet our expectations.

We wish you all the best in the future. We would like to leave you with one parting bit of advice: if you wish to succeed in your upcoming endeavors, we recommend that you find out about all the extraordinary people around you, do everything they have done and more, and do it better and more quickly.

Sincerely,
YDMS

 

[foofish]

Dear Foofish,

Thank you for volunteering to write your own rejection letter. Last summer, while making room for the bouquet of "Sorry I Forgot Our Anniversary" flowers her hubby sent, one of our secretaries knocked your file down behind one of our file cabinets. Your application has been collecting dust and providing dietary fiber to our office mice ever since (we've heard your personal statement is especially tasty). We hope you weren't too offended when we ignored all of your emails and hung up on you for calling about your status, it's nothing personal. After all, how could it be--since we've lost your application we have absolutely no idea who you are. Perhaps we'll bother getting back to you next cycle. Or maybe not.

Sincerely,
The Rhymes-with-Hohns-Jopkins Admissions Committee

 

[Wackie]

Dear Rejected Applicant,


We are rejecting your application for the following reason(s):

Your interviewer did not recommend your admission because
-he/she is currently going through a divorce
-his/her 14 year old brat ran away
-he/she recently received the brat's cell phone bill
-he/she is balding/going through menopause
-he/she was in a foul mood for no reason when he/she interview you
-he/she hates doing interviews
-your cookies sucked

We hope by providing you with this information you are able to improve your application and re-apply next year.

As you were informed during our presentation we take great interest in insuring the application process is as fair as possible. We do this by allowing a med student to interview you who stated that he/she liked you very much. Unfortunately, the med student's opinion does not count. Have a nice day!


Sincerely,

Admissions

PS- We welcome your feedback! Please legibly print any constructive criticisms on the attached form and mail it to the admissions dept of this school so that we may continue to provide excellent and fair service.

(form missing)

 

[theraball]

Dear Mr. Theraball,

We deeply regret that we were unable to interview you for this year's application cycle. While we were impressed by your credentials, we were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of applicants with competitive records to the point where we simply could not do justice to all of them.

Therefore, we are returning your check for $75 for your secondary application early enough that you might still be able to apply to some other schools this cycle. We will however keep your application on file, should you choose to reapply next cycle, and we'll waive the reapplication fee since you have demonstrated interest in our school.

In addition, one of our admissions counselors will be contacting you to discuss your strengths and weaknesses to assist you in getting into the medical school of your choice next time around. We hope that school will be us.

With best wishes,
The Admissions Committee
Fairyland Medical College 😍 😍 😍

 

[durfen]

Dear Rejected Applicant,
Unfortunately, the med student's opinion does not count. Have a nice day!

I'm pretty sure the med student's bad opinion killed me at two schools...so this is an advantage in my case...so what if I can only relate to faculty?

Oh yeah rejection letter:

Dear durfen,

All your secondary fee are belong to us.

Sincerely,
ADCOM
PS: (Sorry couldn't resist)

 

[Medinsane]

Dear Medinsane,



Thanks for trying though.

Sincerely,
Your friendly admissions board

 

[silverlining1]

Dear durfen,

All your secondary fee are belong to us.

Sincerely,
ADCOM
PS: (Sorry couldn't resist)

Very funny 🙂

Another:

Dear silverlining1,

We're not quite sure how to express how confused we were when we saw that you applied to our school with such a small resume. We were so mystified by what you expressed in your personal statement because we have never heard that someone wanted to become a doctor to "help people". We thought this picture might help convey the sentiment:

Sincerely,
ADCOM

 

[SeminoleFan3]

I love the pic ^^^

Here it goes:

Dear SeminoleFan3,
It seems that you accidently marked us as a school you'd wish to apply to on your AMCAS application. We know this must have been a mistake given your GPA, MCAT scores, and common ECs. Since it was a mistake on your part, we'll be keeping your $100 secondary fee as payment for glancing at your scores.

Good luck at the low-tier schools; you'll need it.

ADCOM

 

[Wackie]

I'm pretty sure the med student's bad opinion killed me at two schools...so this is an advantage in my case...so what if I can only relate to faculty?

So that would be the *only* time it would count.



Dear Rejected Applicant,

You should have lied and said you liked Michael Bolton.

TTFN!

Admissions

 

[foofish]

Dear Rejected Applicant,

You should have lied and said you liked Michael Bolton.

TTFN!

Admissions

Ha!! Nicely played.




(Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...)

 

[Hednej]

Dear Mr. Tired,

Despite your excellent scores and recommendations, we are unable to offer you admission to our medical program. As you may or may not have known, matriculation to our school generally follows one of two tracks: either you are of the proper "pedigree" (Ivy-league undergraduate degree, WASP family); or you have an interesting non-traditional background that we can use for public relations purposes. Your background as a self-supporting white male Catholic is simply not the type of image our institution wishes to project. Frankly, we were suprised you even showed up to the interview, since most students with your background recognize a "courtesy" interview when they get one.

We hope you enjoyed your time in New Haven; please pay no mind to the fact that the surrounding community hates us with a passion. Also, please don't take it too hard that, while we were willing to admit a former high-level official of the Taliban, you don't make the cut.

Sincerely,
Yale Admissions Committee

That's funny because I got the exact same letter from Harvard, Penn, Stanford, Duke, and Columbia.

 

[melissainsd]

Dear melissainsd,

We were very impressed with your high GPA and ability to overcome adversity. We especially got a boner over your non-traditional background and URM status. Consequently, we were more than happy to offer you an interview. How do you think we felt when you showed up and disclosed you were a…MOTHER!?! Frankly, we think it was rude. Yes, many of our students are mothers, but they were smart enough to wait until accepted. Trust us, we are doing you a favor. Now you will have more time to spend with your kid. Enjoy.

Apathetically yours,

Dean Hypocrite

 

[durfen]

Dear melissainsd,

We were very impressed with your high GPA and ability to overcome adversity. We especially got a boner over your non-traditional background and URM status. Consequently, we were more than happy to offer you an interview. How do you think we felt when you showed up and disclosed you were a…MOTHER!?! Frankly, we think it was rude. Yes, many of our students are mothers, but they were smart enough to wait until accepted. Trust us, we are doing you a favor. Now you will have more time to spend with your kid. Enjoy.

Apathetically yours,

Dean Hypocrite

Bump.

Dear durfen,

We have had many outstand...ah #$&% it, you're rejected.

ADCOM'izzle

 

[KaraKiz]

Dear Mr. Tired,

Despite your excellent scores and recommendations, we are unable to offer you admission to our medical program. As you may or may not have known, matriculation to our school generally follows one of two tracks: either you are of the proper "pedigree" (Ivy-league undergraduate degree, WASP family); or you have an interesting non-traditional background that we can use for public relations purposes. Your background as a self-supporting white male Catholic is simply not the type of image our institution wishes to project. Frankly, we were suprised you even showed up to the interview, since most students with your background recognize a "courtesy" interview when they get one.

We hope you enjoyed your time in New Haven; please pay no mind to the fact that the surrounding community hates us with a passion. Also, please don't take it too hard that, while we were willing to admit a former high-level official of the Taliban, you don't make the cut.

Sincerely,
Yale Admissions Committee

I love it..

 

[garoldee]

not sure if this was done but i dont have time to go thru all of them.


dear garoldee


its not us, its you


ADCOM

 

[moe_4eva]

mOe4eVa: NOT ACCEPTED

Oh wait, that's one I did get. I love the size of it especially (yeah, it really was that big). Simple, yet says it all.

 

[voirlesetoiles]

Dear voirlesetoiles,

bang bang bang

Game Over.

Love,
- AdComs

 

[LexiLuthor]

Dear Lexi:

Yeah, we know you went here undergrad, love the school, live in the state and all that. But seriously, WTF?

Thanks for the $75, genius.

Unlove,

Adcom

 

[bawer234]

BAwer234,

Thank you for your application. While I was reading it in the bathroom I happen to run out of toilet paper and it became very handy while wiping my #$%. Cheers.

-Your dream school

 

[bwells46]

Dear WholeLottaGame,

It is with great pleasure that we write to inform you that we just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

Sincerely,
The Medical School Admissions Committee

P.S. We rejected you weeks ago.

LMAO!

 

[leftmid]

Dear Rightmid,

It's a pleasure to inform you that you have what the acceptance takes in all aspects of medical school application. Unfortunately, your luck have just run out. Have a good one, next time.

BTW, Dr. Kevorkian's number is XXX XXX SDNF. Now, get lost!

Adcomsly,

Sit Com, MD vs DO

 

[Funky]

Dear Funky,

We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission to the XYZ College of Medicine. Now you may be disappointed and I would like to remind you that only half the applicants gain medical school admission in a given year. You should know by now that applying to medical school is one of the things you pay for and have a pretty good chance of receiving absolutely nothing in return aside from this e-mail rejection. That's right, we were too cheap to pay for postage and stationary. It's 41 cents now for christsake. Please try again next year. We could really use the money because my kid has to go to college soon.

Sincerely,

ADCOM

 

[drizzt3117]

Dear Applicant:

Our committee has completed its preliminary review of your application and has serious reservations about your critical thinking abilities. The average GPA of matriculants at this institution is 3.85 and the average MCAT is 35. While your PS score of 8 and B- and C+ scores in Calculus demonstrate a lack of quantitative skills that may at least partially explain your inability to realize that your scores just do not match up, nevertheless, we are not only able to offer you an interview, but are also including a bill for $25.00 for wasting our valuable time.

We offer our best wishes to your future success, however unlikely such success may be,

Unsincerely Yours,

J.A. Blum
Dean of Admissions

 

[DredPiratRobrts]

Dear DredPiratRobrts,

I am awarding you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

Beat it,

Best Medical School Ever

 

[LikeClockWork]

Dear LCW,

A million monkeys on a million typewriters may eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare, but you still don't have a snowball's chance in hell. Enjoy PT school!

Sincerely,
AdCom

 

[deleted36260]

Dear Phatmonky,

You'll make a great PA one day!


Sincerely,
Medical School

 

[BrokenGlass]

Dear BG,


We are amazed that you even got this far in the application process. Your application was so awful and your qualifications so inadequate that we have asked AAMC to withdraw your application from every medical school to which you submitted it. Even though you will never be a licensed physician, we have made arrangements to raise your malpractice insurance and fire you from the job that you will never have. Should you require further assistance or encourangement, our friendly staff can be reached at 1-800-screw-you.


The Committee on Admissions

 

[Mace1370]

Dead Mace1370,
We regret to inform you that we haven't looked over your application yet, despite it being sent in several months ago. Seriously, everyone here at the committee thought it was a prank or something, but you kept calling in and asking what was taking us so long! Since you seem so passionate about medicine, we have enclosed an application for Facilities Management at our hospital.

Best of luck and never call us again,
The Committee on Admissions

 

[etf]

Dear etf:

sincerely,
Dean

 

[BurtonCummings]

Dear Burton,
While we are most certainly aware that you received our email rejection notice four weeks ago. The committee found it fitting to employ 0.42 % of your secondary fee to send you an additional, material rejection. I hope that this serves as a reminder of just how fun the whole process has been (for us, of course, not you).
Good luck convincing yourself that you didn't want to go here anyways.

Much Love,

AdCom

 

[LikeClockWork]

Have a good day and **** yo' couch.

I don't know....any letter from a respectable medical school that ends with this phrase would go down as a positive in my book.

 

[154465]

Dear ymnCheetos,

It is with a heavy heart that I regret to inform you of your rejection to our university. We have received many applications to our school over the past century but none nearly as impressive as yours. In fact, I firmly believe that no one in the history of medicine is as qualified as yourself. While I could rile you with the details of your achievements, the very thought of them causes my penis to shrivel into my abdomen in shame. Even now, as I stare up at my Nobel Prize and my degrees from Harvard, Cambridge and MIT, I can't help but feel as if my life is empty and without meaning.

You may be baffled as to why we would reject a man of your stature, but when considering what four years of medical school would mean to someone such as yourself, the decision was simple, although quite painful. You were destined for something so great that my secretary burst into tears at the very thought. We did not accept you into our school because we can not bear the thought of keeping you from being truly....awesome. Also, I caught my daughter eying your sculpted physique, and although I would be elated at the though of you sleeping with someone even remotely related to me, she has a husband and kids.

With love as mighty as the Greek Gods,

Dean Whoamikidding







This really happened btw....

 

[hp540]

Dear hp540,

Go back to Canada.

Admissions.

 

[chizledfrmstone]

Dear Chizledfrmstone,
We are soooooo sorry. 🙂

 

[MWK]

Dear Applicant,

Scratch that, we are NOT saying that there is a chance.


Sincerely,
Adcom


PS: Join a Cubs supoprt group; you're in the same boat.

 

[BigMDT]

Dear Applicant,


Congratulations! We at the --insert medical school-- are so very pleased to offer you admission into our very prestigious rejection pool. Upon careful review of your file, the Admissions Committee was very impressed with you and has thus selected you as an applicant eminently qualified for rejection. Our school received a record number of applications this year, but unfortunately we could not reject every applicant. We wish you the best for the future, and hope you find similar success for all you future endeavors!


You Suck,

Medical Admission Committee

P.S. Send us a $100 deposit to secure a spot in our rejection pool.

 

[gleneagles3]

dear Gleneagles,

We would like to inform you that we have considered your Medical School application and we have decided.........CONGRATULATIONS!


***Welcome Gleneagles Sanitation Specialist Class 2012!!!***

Sincerely,
Admission Staff

p.s. you have to buy your own cleaning products

 

[LadyLightning20]

It was n.i.g.g.a. please. Absolutely hilarious.

thanks for asking. I had no clue either and I felt like such a ***** for apparently being the only one not to get it.

 

[MelnaisLacis]

Dear Mr. XXXX:

We “regret” to inform you that you have not been selected for an interview at the Albany Medical College for the 2007 entering class. Despite your impressive credentials and extensive extracurricular involvement, two aspects of your application made your admission to our medical school a non-issue.

1) Your ethnicity. Seriously, with the sheer volume of brown doctors in this day in age, do you actually think we would want any more? Though the South-Asian population tends to produce the most skilled and competent physicians, we cannot stand idly by and train a new generation of “terrorist” doctors. Also, is it true that your women don’t shave their legs?

Unless the interview or letter of rejection consisted of multiple quik e mart jokes and comments about outsourced customer service call centers, I don't think its quite fair to play the race card for rejection unless your white and/or korean/japanese/chinese.

 

[Nookular]

Supposedly for students who get into Michigan they have a 5 min video starting with the director of admissions getting a file in a meeting and then traveling to your house to deliver it to you, which would be a hilarious beginning to a rejection letter. He runs all over campus, flies in a copter, hops a train, gets in a cab, etc, and after watching this long video and letting the excitement build up, he opens your door and punches you in the face as REJECTED stamps on the screen in huge red letters.
As your point of view looks up at him from the floor he spits on the camera and says "seriously kid? You're pathetic" and walks away.

Viewer begins to cry.

 

[AKu2984]

Dear AKu,
Money earned by taking tons of it from poor pre-meds: $2 million
Money earned by jacking up tuition: a **** load
Rejecting your sorry ***.....ahhhhh....priceless

Sincerely,
Dean Killingyourselfesteem Forever

P.S: Don't quit your day job.

 

[majik1213]

Dear Zahque:

***** please.

Love,
The Admissions Committee

oarsome

 

[j12]

Supposedly for students who get into Michigan they have a 5 min video starting with the director of admissions getting a file in a meeting and then traveling to your house to deliver it to you, which would be a hilarious beginning to a rejection letter. He runs all over campus, flies in a copter, hops a train, gets in a cab, etc, and after watching this long video and letting the excitement build up, he opens your door and punches you in the face as REJECTED stamps on the screen in huge red letters.
As your point of view looks up at him from the floor he spits on the camera and says "seriously kid? You're pathetic" and walks away.

Viewer begins to cry.

This has got to be my favorite😀