Feeling isolated and stressed in Dental school. Advice?

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Hey everyone, I'm a D2 student, and I'm wondering if any of you have advice/similar experiences. Basically I find the people in my class to be competitive and not very understanding of each other's struggles with mental health.
For example, I confided in a classmate that I used to speak to frequently and whom I considered my friend that I was going through a rough period of anxiety during midterms last semester, and her response was to dismissively tell me to "chill", and she stopped initiating conversations with me after that, and now it seems that even if I talk to to her about unrelated/mundane things, she only replies very coldly. This is just one of many examples of the general attitude people seem to have with regards to mental health, and this dismissiveness seems to extend to the administration and school policies as well, according to the experiences of upperclassmen.
I'm starting to think that people judge me based on the fact that I seem determined to do well (because I take lots of notes) and that I sometimes ask questions in class, which is generally frowned on (one girl laughed in my face when I asked a question in class and commented that I'm really annoying. I've stopped asking so many questions in class and have resorted to seeing profs during office hours instead if necessary, to avoid the dirty looks/comments). I've learned to keep my mouth shut and smile. This has gone as far as my avoiding commenting or posting (questions, notes, or comments) on my class' social media groups so I am not perceived as annoying.
The truth is that everyone works their ass off in dental school (I'm talking all-nighters 2 nights a week and 3 AM nights the rest of the time), but they like to put on a "chill" façade for some reason, and I think it might bother people when others admit that it's stressful. When I ask people in the years above me how they have coped with the stress, they basically told me it's bad to stress now because "the program only gets crazier with time".
As for the competitive aspect, I came to realize that it's important to have a few very close friends because people don't like to share notes with each other (there have been a couple of instances where I've asked people for notes and shared mine with them, and they've openly lied about not having any). I feel pretty lonely in my program sometimes, and although I am friends with people in the years above me and am kind to everyone in my cohort, I would love to have a few real, reliable friends in my own class whom I can trust for social support and share notes with.
I enjoy learning about Dentistry, and I am excited to have a career in this field but I would love some advice on how to deal with this kind of negative attitude from my classmates and how to make lasting friendships or at least come to terms with the fact that people are this way and find ways to overcome the extreme stress & the feelings brought on by people's judgement.

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Hey everyone, I'm a D2 student, and I'm wondering if any of you have advice/similar experiences. Basically I find the people in my class to be competitive and not very understanding of each other's struggles with mental health.
For example, I confided in a classmate that I used to speak to frequently and whom I considered my friend that I was going through a rough period of anxiety during midterms last semester, and her response was to dismissively tell me to "chill", and she stopped initiating conversations with me after that, and now it seems that even if I talk to to her about unrelated/mundane things, she only replies very coldly. This is just one of many examples of the general attitude people seem to have with regards to mental health, and this dismissiveness seems to extend to the administration and school policies as well, according to the experiences of upperclassmen.
I'm starting to think that people judge me based on the fact that I seem determined to do well (because I take lots of notes) and that I sometimes ask questions in class, which is generally frowned on (one girl laughed in my face when I asked a question in class and commented that I'm really annoying. I've stopped asking so many questions in class and have resorted to seeing profs during office hours instead if necessary, to avoid the dirty looks/comments). I've learned to keep my mouth shut and smile. This has gone as far as my avoiding commenting or posting (questions, notes, or comments) on my class' social media groups so I am not perceived as annoying.
The truth is that everyone works their ass off in dental school (I'm talking all-nighters 2 nights a week and 3 AM nights the rest of the time), but they like to put on a "chill" façade for some reason, and I think it might bother people when others admit that it's stressful. When I ask people in the years above me how they have coped with the stress, they basically told me it's bad to stress now because "the program only gets crazier with time".
As for the competitive aspect, I came to realize that it's important to have a few very close friends because people don't like to share notes with each other (there have been a couple of instances where I've asked people for notes and shared mine with them, and they've openly lied about not having any). I feel pretty lonely in my program sometimes, and although I am friends with people in the years above me and am kind to everyone in my cohort, I would love to have a few real, reliable friends in my own class whom I can trust for social support and share notes with.
I enjoy learning about Dentistry, and I am excited to have a career in this field but I would love some advice on how to deal with this kind of negative attitude from my classmates and how to make lasting friendships or at least come to terms with the fact that people are this way and find ways to overcome the extreme stress & the feelings brought on by people's judgement.


1) Don't worry about that classmate who replies very coldly towards you - don't let it get to you. Her reactions and opinion of you are outside your control - you just keep doing what you're doing which is being civil & friendly.

2) Here's the thing. Some people will never like you, even if you're the nicest, friendliest, most warm and helpful person on earth. Other people will come around over time. This will be there regardless of whether you post or don't post on your social media. So go ahead and post/ask questions - don't spam the threads or group chat, but if you're lost, feel free to ask once in a while.

3) Regarding the social aspect - are you a part of any clubs/groups in dental school? That's a great way to meet people. If that's not possible, any way to get involved in any groups outside of campus? All your friends don't have to be dental students.

One more thing - dental students are just a small sample of the world. And the environment people are in significantly influences their behavior. Dental school is a very stressful place, and it sounds like your program is even more so (with all of the all-nighters and 3 am nights you described) so if a friendship is just not happening, then it's possibly due to all the stress - just accept it and move on to other people/options.
 
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Thanks for your helpful reply! There aren't really any clubs in my faculty (except for 2 but they only meet during midterms, so I don't know if I'll realistically be able to join given my pre-exam frenzy), but I do take comfort in the fact that I have friends outside of the program as well!
 
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Thanks for your helpful reply! There aren't really any clubs in my faculty (except for 2 but they only meet during midterms, so I don't know if I'll realistically be able to join given my pre-exam frenzy), but I do take comfort in the fact that I have friends outside of the program as well!

I am sorry you are in the same situation as I am but you have a different way of dealing with it than I do. Basically, you should try to become more independent by not caring of what other people say about you (imagine in real life private practice, will you be crushed by 10 consecutive 1 star review because of something you have no control over? no you dont, you try to forget about it or not let it affect you, same thing with dental school). I also don't like my classmates and just put on a smiley face as a social thing and only talk to a very few classmates. But I am not aiming to specialize so the dental school experience does not matter to me. Judging that you spend so much effort into studying (all nighter and 3AM), you are probably aiming to specialize. and that is totally good.

Remember dental students are competitive by nature and are always on the competitive edge. I am same year as you and feel the same things that you mentioned above. Classmates are selfish yet call others selfish. Classmates form groups and only look out for their own group. To be honest, it works like a prison system of general population. but the end point is who cares, you are finishing a DS2 and only have 2 years left. the good thing is after this, you dont need to see your classmate's faces any longer and you will find worthwhile colleagues and friends in real life.

Try to talk to your friends outside of dental school, it really helps as talking to your classmates generally does not because you all are experiencing the same **** show anyways.

I despise how some people in my class behave that I dont want to go to white coat ceremony, which is not held at the start of DS1, and now considering of claiming some medical emergency so I don't have to show up for graduation.

Dont let anxiety get the best of you or you will be on a train to depression land

and you are there for the license/diploma, dental school friends don't matter (unless you have found the genuine and good ones :) )
 
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Hey everyone, I'm a D2 student, and I'm wondering if any of you have advice/similar experiences. Basically I find the people in my class to be competitive and not very understanding of each other's struggles with mental health.
For example, I confided in a classmate that I used to speak to frequently and whom I considered my friend that I was going through a rough period of anxiety during midterms last semester, and her response was to dismissively tell me to "chill", and she stopped initiating conversations with me after that, and now it seems that even if I talk to to her about unrelated/mundane things, she only replies very coldly. This is just one of many examples of the general attitude people seem to have with regards to mental health, and this dismissiveness seems to extend to the administration and school policies as well, according to the experiences of upperclassmen.
I'm starting to think that people judge me based on the fact that I seem determined to do well (because I take lots of notes) and that I sometimes ask questions in class, which is generally frowned on (one girl laughed in my face when I asked a question in class and commented that I'm really annoying. I've stopped asking so many questions in class and have resorted to seeing profs during office hours instead if necessary, to avoid the dirty looks/comments). I've learned to keep my mouth shut and smile. This has gone as far as my avoiding commenting or posting (questions, notes, or comments) on my class' social media groups so I am not perceived as annoying.
The truth is that everyone works their ass off in dental school (I'm talking all-nighters 2 nights a week and 3 AM nights the rest of the time), but they like to put on a "chill" façade for some reason, and I think it might bother people when others admit that it's stressful. When I ask people in the years above me how they have coped with the stress, they basically told me it's bad to stress now because "the program only gets crazier with time".
As for the competitive aspect, I came to realize that it's important to have a few very close friends because people don't like to share notes with each other (there have been a couple of instances where I've asked people for notes and shared mine with them, and they've openly lied about not having any). I feel pretty lonely in my program sometimes, and although I am friends with people in the years above me and am kind to everyone in my cohort, I would love to have a few real, reliable friends in my own class whom I can trust for social support and share notes with.
I enjoy learning about Dentistry, and I am excited to have a career in this field but I would love some advice on how to deal with this kind of negative attitude from my classmates and how to make lasting friendships or at least come to terms with the fact that people are this way and find ways to overcome the extreme stress & the feelings brought on by people's judgement.
Do you exercise? See if there's a team sport you can pick up. This is anecdotal but I feel worse when I don't exercise. Basketball with friends in dental school or just at the local gym keeps me social with more relaxed people and I think it improves my mental health. Don't worry about other people's facades or work. Put in your own, get the results, and it becomes a 1 player game apart from hanging out with friends.
 
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Great perspective! I haven't been too meticulous about exercising during school (been pretty busy) but I did just get a gym membership and I've started going this summer :)
 
Basically, you should try to become more independent by not caring of what other people say about you (imagine in real life private practice, will you be crushed by 10 consecutive 1 star review because of something you have no control over? no you dont, you try to forget about it or not let it affect you, same thing with dental school).

Oh my gosh it's great to see someone else in the same boat! You are so right. Tbh I'm super alright with being alone/independent but everyone keeps repeating how much of a jungle dentistry classes can be and how you need "contacts so that's why I've felt it to be a pressing need to make friends. Great point though; it is just training for real practice!
Also, tbh with you, I skipped my last 2 graduation ceremonies (high school and undergrad) because I just didn't feel like it was worth all the fanfare...
And I'm not even sure if I want to specialize or not bc I hardly know what the specialties are but I'm leaning toward being a general dentist and pursuing a Design degree afterwards as well unless I absolutely fall in love with a specialty along the way but probably not. Part of my classmates' attitude maybe stems from the fact that they think I want to specialize. Some of them even asked me if I want to do so, and when I told them it's not really a goal of mine they still didn't believe it (just goes to show how cynical they can be) and maybe they perceive me as some kind of "threat" or "competition" for that reason, which is just so silly. People like to find all kinds of crazy reasons to dislike people they don't even know, and I think competitive programs like Dentistry can attract some of the more sociopathic types...
 
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Oh my gosh it's great to see someone else in the same boat! You are so right. Tbh I'm super alright with being alone/independent but everyone keeps repeating how much of a jungle dentistry classes can be and how you need "contacts so that's why I've felt it to be a pressing need to make friends. Great point though; it is just training for real practice!
Also, tbh with you, I skipped my last 2 graduation ceremonies (high school and undergrad) because I just didn't feel like it was worth all the fanfare...
And I'm not even sure if I want to specialize or not bc I hardly know what the specialties are but I'm leaning toward being a general dentist and pursuing a Design degree afterwards as well unless I absolutely fall in love with a specialty along the way but probably not. Part of my classmates' attitude maybe stems from the fact that they think I want to specialize. Some of them even asked me if I want to do so, and when I told them it's not really a goal of mine they still didn't believe it (just goes to show how cynical they can be) and maybe they perceive me as some kind of "threat" or "competition" for that reason, which is just so silly. People like to find all kinds of crazy reasons to dislike people they don't even know, and I think competitive programs like Dentistry can attract some of the more sociopathic types...
I was dead set on specializing on omfs but now I'm more on the fence because of personal reasons (looking at other specialties, considering general dentistry, etc). I highly doubt contacts with classmates is gonna make or break you if you specialize. Even if you were in a 3, 4 or 6 year specialty, what are the odds all your classmates are going to be in the same exact location as you are? Of those, what are the odds that any own successful practices? Of THOSE, what are the odds you were best friends with them? Even if you weren't, I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to make friends with them after the competitive mindset is gone. I doubt they would remember you from like 6 years ago even if you WERE somewhat friends/acquaintances with them. In all likelihood, many will still be associates, some will be part time, and some will have just opened a practice. In fact I would go even further and say you can probably benefit more by befriending underclassmen by being a good mentor and helping them out and being known as the helpful 2nd/3rd/4th year than people in your year you clearly don't get along with and have likely already formed their own cliques.

This was information I learned from some mentors (dentists, specialists, etc) so take it with a grain of salt.
 
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The truth is that everyone works their ass off in dental school (I'm talking all-nighters 2 nights a week and 3 AM nights the rest of the time)
If this is really your situation and not hyperbole, it is not healthy physically or mentally. You might need to seriously work on your time management. You’d be surprised how much time people waste in the day. Deleting Facebook is a very easy start.

Big Hoss
 
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My 2 keys area of advice:

1. Dental school is high school. Do you really care what people thought about you in high school? Then why do you care now

2. Go talk to other people in other professional schools: You can talk to lawyers, vets, physicians, pharmacists, optometrists, you name it! Sometimes it helps to just meet people people. I remember we had mixers with the med students, pharm students, and vet/optho students all the time.

Go out and meet new people as a whole dentists can be jerks
 
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Try to accept people's differences as much as you want them to accept yours. Without judging.
 
If this is really your situation and not hyperbole, it is not healthy physically or mentally. You might need to seriously work on your time management. You’d be surprised how much time people waste in the day. Deleting Facebook is a very easy start.

Big Hoss
Hey, good idea and yeah I already deleted my main account last year and only keep a school account (that I only visit for school-related information postings). I think it's more the fact that we can have up to 19 classes some semesters/ high competition that drives us to study like that.
 
My 2 keys area of advice:

1. Dental school is high school. Do you really care what people thought about you in high school? Then why do you care now

2. Go talk to other people in other professional schools: You can talk to lawyers, vets, physicians, pharmacists, optometrists, you name it! Sometimes it helps to just meet people people. I remember we had mixers with the med students, pharm students, and vet/optho students all the time.

Go out and meet new people as a whole dentists can be jerks
Totally agree! I love Law students especially haha
 
Several of the people on my beer league teams are in professional school right now. It basically takes up about 3 hours of their day once a week to play a game and socialize for an hour and a half after. They like it because people are talking about everything but what ever they are in school for. The organized teams allow you to see the same group of people once a week for like 8 weeks straight so it is a pretty good way to make some good friends.
 
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Hey, good idea and yeah I already deleted my main account last year and only keep a school account (that I only visit for school-related information postings). I think it's more the fact that we can have up to 19 classes some semesters/ high competition that drives us to study like that.
I know dental school can be rough at times. I wasn’t a student that long ago. I also know what it takes to do well and be in the top 10%. However, my routine was nothing near what you’re describing, and I didn’t attend some watered down program. What are you doing to study? Are you attending lectures? I still think you have some significant inefficiencies somewhere if you’re seriously following that schedule.

Also, don’t view your classmates as “competition.” Just do YOUR best and whatever happens, happens. Don’t even worry about what others have going on. Just be friendly and helpful to everyone.

Big Hoss
 
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I know dental school can be rough at times. I wasn’t a student that long ago. I also know what it takes to do well and be in the top 10%. However, my routine was nothing near what you’re describing, and I didn’t attend some watered down program. What are you doing to study? Are you attending lectures? I still think you have some significant inefficiencies somewhere if you’re seriously following that schedule.

Also, don’t view your classmates as “competition.” Just do YOUR best and whatever happens, happens. Don’t even worry about what others have going on. Just be friendly and helpful to everyone.

Big Hoss
My school is in Canada, and I've heard the USA dental schools are a bit different in terms of course requirements. Yeah I attend all my classes but I'm starting to consider skipping to just study...
And I'm more collaborative than competitive but tbh the biggest challenge is not giving a **** about what others think of you/your efforts and marks when they are competitive by nature and the reflex is to compete when faced with someone who is trying to compete with you X)
 
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