Funniest Chief Complaints

Started by Dr JPH
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username456789 said:
b-b-king2.jpg
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I realize I'm just a pre-med and know VERY little. The thrill is the rush of pulsatile blood flow you feel on an AV fistula. Shouldn't you be worried if the thrill is no longer apparent?? Again I'm asking not being a smart ass
 
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zachdwphoto said:
I realize I may be incredibly ignorant and speaking amongst people much more educated, but why not educated the uneducated instead of leaving them in their ignorance?
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I have no idea who B. B. King was (and the fact that the picture was B. B. King), but according to google he has a song called "The Thrill Is Gone".

That's likely the reference.
 
evilbooyaa said:
I have no idea who B. B. King was (and the fact that the picture was B. B. King), but according to google he has a song called "The Thrill Is Gone".

That's likely the reference.
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🤣:laugh: Wow….kind feel silly now! Haha i think i get it now…thanks Ebooyaa!
 
Histiocytosis X said:
The chief complaint isn't funny, but the attending is-

7yo boy with 1 month history of polydipsia, polyuria. Comes in because 1 day history of fever, abdominal pain, nausea/vomiting. UA shows ketones greater than the machine can read, and proteinuria; negative for WBC and leuk esterase.

Attending: This patient has UTI and gatroenteritis. I will tell the mother to wait for the UTI to go away, and then we will do a renal ultrasound [because we own an ultrasound machine].
Me: Do you think we should get a fingerstick?
Attending: HX, this is NOT how diabetes insipidus presents!

----

I'm not kidding you.

Later that day, I am fearful for the child's life so I look back through his chart to see if maybe there is something that will re-assure me he's not going to go into DKA and die.

----

Me: I see here that he was in 3 months ago and had a UA that showed 100 of glucose in the urine.
Attending: Now that's not very much... do you know what normal is!??!
Me: Um... zero.
Attending: Oh yes, well, for urine. Well our machine just does that sometimes. Especially if they just ate.


Really!!?!
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wtf??? this is either bs or extreme ******edness
 
zachdwphoto said:
I realize I'm just a pre-med and know VERY little. The thrill is the rush of pulsatile blood flow you feel on an AV fistula. Shouldn't you be worried if the thrill is no longer apparent?? Again I'm asking not being a smart ass
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Remember that time you bumped a seven year old post because you're too young to recognize an exceptionally well-known song...?
 
In the ER the other day there was a call that came in from an ambulance squad about a woman they were bringing to us. Reason given was "when she blows her nose and lets it dry and then flicks it with her finger it crumbles into little pieces"

My shift was just ending, so not sure what kind of workup she got...
 
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evilbooyaa said:
I have no idea who B. B. King was (and the fact that the picture was B. B. King), but according to google he has a song called "The Thrill Is Gone".

That's likely the reference.
Click to expand...
This is just the saddest statement I have read in a very long time. Not knowing who B.B. King is = not knowing Elvis. I hope you heard of him?????
 
DOFOSHO said:
a man accompanied by his MTV celebrity girlfriend, both known heroin addicts, come to the ED: "i got into a wreck a couple months ago. one of my ribs penetrated my heart and now i have cancer in my heart and its really painful. I don't need a scan or nothin, I just need some pain killers." After he was refused pain medication he storms out making a huge scene.
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Ah, the Post-Traumatic Cardiac Oncogenesis Syndrome. I hear they're still working on adding that one into Robbins.
 
The funniest is when the cc put on screen or display as "complex" not because they have a complex issue but they have a myriad of symptoms to warn physicians lol thanks nursing.
 
When I was on trauma and things were slow, I'd troll around the ER boards for the other hospitals in the system and laugh at some of the CCs. Of course, since they weren't in my shop, I never found out the full stories (probably better that way really). Some favorites...

"Bit by patient"

"Needles left in" - cut off here

"Low blood plattet"

"NEEDS ADMITTED"

"Bone coming threw nose"
 
89 yo female - "I woke up with no pulse"
Spoiler, getting Dunkin' coffee with her friend at 3 AM did not help her feel her pulse any better
 
I have seen these on the ER board at the hospital I work at!

"Human vs. Frog"
"Being cyber stalked" (I thought this was funny and then it got even funnier when I heard the actual story! The patient thought her neighbor had planted a chip in the back of her head to listen to everything she said!😵)
 
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Kittenmommy said:
Maybe he went in because he was worried about rabies. If it happened to me, I probably would've been worried about rabies too! 😱.
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The "squirrels have rabies" thing is recognized as almost a universal truth......that isn't really true. They do not carry rabies. My parents warned me to stay away from squirrels when I was a kid because of rabies...that they didn't have. 🙂
 
Cinclus said:
The "squirrels have rabies" thing is recognized as almost a universal truth......that isn't really true. They do not carry rabies. My parents warned me to stay away from squirrels when I was a kid because of rabies...that they didn't have. 🙂
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Well, Today I Learned!

I'd still probably go to the ER if I got bitten by some kind of wildlife. I mean, you can't be too careful, right?
 
i asked my dad the funniest chief compaint he's seen. he said when he was 1st year ER resident at UF, he got the complaint

"I was on the toilet and a frog jumped from the water and bit my hemorroid and now I have chest pain"
he saved the paper with it and keeps it in his closet
 
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