Funniest Chief Complaints

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Kittenmommy said:
They certainly can be; I've never actually had a problem with one, and I've been bitten by many cats in my day. I generally keep Neosporin and a Band-Aid on them, and they're fine. :rolleyes:

I know a vet who got bitten really badly and had to go on IV antibiotics! :eek:
Click to expand...

I've only been lightly nipped "playfully" by cats. I guess you've got to get them pretty riled up for them to break skin.
Members don't see this ad.
 
VenusinFurs said:
I've only been lightly nipped "playfully" by cats. I guess you've got to get them pretty riled up for them to break skin.
Click to expand...

Depends on the cat. Some kitties play too rough without realizing it.
 
Kittenmommy said:
They certainly can be; I've never actually had a problem with one, and I've been bitten by many cats in my day. I generally keep Neosporin and a Band-Aid on them, and they're fine. :rolleyes:

I know a vet who got bitten really badly and had to go on IV antibiotics! :eek:
Click to expand...

Yes, from Pasteurella Multocida. Never take a cat bite lightly, assume the worst especially in chronic medical patients or immunocompromised.

You'll throw that neosporin away when you see someone with a severe neosporin reaction. Got to be the worst thing out there.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
cabinbuilder said:
Yes, from Pasteurella Multocida. Never take a cat bite lightly, assume the worst especially in chronic medical patients or immunocompromised.
Click to expand...

I'm not immunocompromised or anything like that (thank God!), so I guess I have a bit of an advantage. ;)

cabinbuilder said:
You'll throw that neosporin away when you see someone with a severe neosporin reaction. Got to be the worst thing out there.
Click to expand...

Seriously? I've never heard of that before, and I put Neosporin on any kind of little cut I get; I've even used it on the cats for minor wounds! :eek:

What do you suggest we get instead?
 
CC: "I can hear my hair growing and it sounds different. I got bit by a dog that turned into a man and back into a dog."


Attending: "Here's a good one for the med student :laugh:"

That was fun
 
Kittenmommy said:
I'm not immunocompromised or anything like that (thank God!), so I guess I have a bit of an advantage. ;)



Seriously? I've never heard of that before, and I put Neosporin on any kind of little cut I get; I've even used it on the cats for minor wounds! :eek:

What do you suggest we get instead?
Click to expand...

Cats have a nice mix of anaerobes in their mouths; you don't need to be immunocompromised to get a nasty infection as a result. Saw a gentleman not too long ago have to get the joint space in his wrist debrided due to a cat bite; couldn't even tell where the cat bit him.
 
greatnt249 said:
Cats have a nice mix of anaerobes in their mouths; you don't need to be immunocompromised to get a nasty infection as a result. Saw a gentleman not too long ago have to get the joint space in his wrist debrided due to a cat bite; couldn't even tell where the cat bit him.
Click to expand...

Goodness gracious! :eek:
 
"Penis looks smaller."

His fiancée was also helpful in agreeing that it looked "shriveled".

To cap it all off, this was in the ED at 6am. It was a Herculean effort to keep a straight face after a long night shift.
 
Kittenmommy said:
I'm not immunocompromised or anything like that (thank God!), so I guess I have a bit of an advantage. ;)



Seriously? I've never heard of that before, and I put Neosporin on any kind of little cut I get; I've even used it on the cats for minor wounds! :eek:

What do you suggest we get instead?
Click to expand...

Yes, I am totally serious. Can't stand neosporin. Use Bactroban for MRSA coverage. Go ahead and keep using it on your cats. That's where it belongs.

You don't have to be immunocompromised to get a nasty infection from a cat bite. They are the worst. I had a patient who had mutliple debridements on her hand on an vancocin for months from the lingering infection.
 
Last edited:
Got called to the ER today for a new mom's concern on a 3 month old male with "fever".

Temp was 99.0
Mom was worried the baby slept through the night:confused:
Was convinced the baby had a UTI because the foreskin was too tight
Medicaid doesn't pay for circumcision anymore

Tried to to retract the foreskin and the mom burst into tears because the head of the penis was bright red - she got hysterical because of the "bleeding". The baby wasn't making any kind of fuss.

Sigh, some days I just don't get paid enough.:rolleyes:
 
cabinbuilder said:
Yes, I am totally serious. Can't stand neosporin. Use Bactroban for MRSA coverage.
Click to expand...

I'm going to write that down. We're going to Target tomorrow, and I'm going to get some. Is that the same as Bacitracin? I suppose the pharmacist will know..

cabinbuilder said:
Go ahead and keep using it on your cats. That's where it belongs.
Click to expand...

Cats don't get the bad Neosporin reactions? Maybe I'll use the Bactroban on them too... I wouldn't want to take a chance! :eek:

cabinbuilder said:
You don't have to be immunocompromised to get a nasty infection from a cat bite. They are the worst. I had a patient who had mutliple debridements on her hand on an vancocin for months from the lingering infection.
Click to expand...

Wow. I've had cats for over thirty years, and I've never had a single problem. Guess I've been really lucky! :thumbup:
 
Last edited:
Kittenmommy said:
I'm going to write that down. We're going to Target tomorrow, and I'm going to get some. Is that the same as Bacitracin? I suppose the pharmacist will know..
Click to expand...

You'll need a prescription for it and it's not the same as bacitracin. For most wounds, especially small scrapes/cuts, all you need to do is keep it clean and wash with soap and water. No antibiotic ointment necessary!
 
Members don't see this ad :)
Kittenmommy said:
Yeah, I've met pet rats. They're quite sweet, and very smart! :D
Click to expand...

Introduced mine to my roommates' 16 month old son for the first time today. He, the baby, kept poking her. Cutest thing ever. :)
 
Poetic Silence said:
Introduced mine to my roommates' 16 month old son for the first time today. He, the baby, kept poking her. Cutest thing ever. :)
Click to expand...

D'awwww!

I saw an Animal Planet show years ago about odd animal friends. There was a cat who had been raised with a rat since they were both babies. Not only has she never tried to harm the rat, but when she was introduced to a "strange" rat (one she didn't know), she tried to make friends with it. And when she had kittens, the rat she was raised with was her trusted nursemaid. They speculated that her kittens would also lack the drive to hunt/hurt rats.

Who says instinct can't be overcome? Nature vs. Nurture... sometimes nurture wins.
 
Kittenmommy said:
D'awwww!

I saw an Animal Planet show years ago about odd animal friends. There was a cat who had been raised with a rat since they were both babies. Not only has she never tried to harm the rat, but when she was introduced to a "strange" rat (one she didn't know), she tried to make friends with it. And when she had kittens, the rat she was raised with was her trusted nursemaid. They speculated that her kittens would also lack the drive to hunt/hurt rats.

Who says instinct can't be overcome? Nature vs. Nurture... sometimes nurture wins.
Click to expand...

I love stories like that! I've seen one about a snake and a hamster living together in the same cage until the hamster died of natural causes.

Amazing stuff.
 
Poetic Silence said:
I love stories like that!
Click to expand...

OMG me too! :D

Poetic Silence said:
I've seen one about a snake and a hamster living together in the same cage until the hamster died of natural causes.
Click to expand...

That's so awesome I can't even!

Poetic Silence said:
Amazing stuff.
Click to expand...

The kitty in my icon (Ginny) made friends with my stepgranddaughter's pet rabbit (Gabriel). When they first met, Ginny was terrified of him! I almost felt like I needed to sit her down and explain predator/prey dynamics to her, LOL.
 
Last edited:
Kittenmommy said:
OMG me too! :D



That's so awesome I can't even!



The kitty in my icon (Ginny) made friends with my stepgranddaughter's pet rabbit (Gabriel). When they first met, Ginny was terrified of him! I almost felt like I needed to sit her down and explain predator/prey dynamics to her, LOL.
Click to expand...

LOL!

My mother's chihuahua mutt always got freaked out by my rats. It was hilarious watching them chase after the dog around the house. :D
 
Our dog always has a fit around any small animal. She's a cocker spaniel, so she's got the instinct to chase 'em, but then when she gets up close to them if they move even a bit she jumps back and starts barking in horror.
 
Back on topic:

CC: transfer from nursing home for AMS

Turns out the guy was just pretending to be asleep, and freely admitted his scheme to me. Couldn't help but laugh.
 
VenusinFurs said:
Our dog always has a fit around any small animal. She's a cocker spaniel, so she's got the instinct to chase 'em, but then when she gets up close to them if they move even a bit she jumps back and starts barking in horror.
Click to expand...

LOL'ing so hard at the mental picture I'm getting! :laugh:
 
Poetic Silence said:
Chihuahuas don't really have practical uses as a service animal.

Daschunds make great ratters, though. Best I've seen.
Click to expand...

I've heard that about weinerdogs. I think that's what they were bred for originally.
 
Kittenmommy said:
I've heard that about weinerdogs. I think that's what they were bred for originally.
Click to expand...

Daschund is literally German for badger dog. They were bred as hunting dogs. Their tubular shape made them ideal for chasing after badgers through their burrows so that the hunter could kill the badger as it was being run out of its hiding place.

Great breed of dog, but they are prone to extremely painful spine conditions.
 
Poetic Silence said:
Daschund is literally German for badger dog. They were bred as hunting dogs. Their tubular shape made them ideal for chasing after badgers through their burrows so that the hunter could kill the badger as it was being run out of its hiding place.

Great breed of dog, but they are prone to extremely painful spine conditions.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've heard that. Just another example of how breeding for certain traits can end up really messing up the animal. :(
 
So, yeah, back to the original topic again:

CC: "Wrist pain."

On examination, found to have a nail jutting out about 1" from his anatomic snuff box. When asked how it happened, he simply replied "because I'm a dumba**."

Luckily, the nail missed all important structures in his wrist.
 
Jesus, enough with the goddamn cats. PM each other and get all excited about cats.

And while we're at it, that purple text is awfully annoying.

CC: cats piss me off.
 
Calm down, bro!

I love it when women talk about their cats. It's cute how excited they get. :)
 
Male patient in his mid-40s: CC: "I bleed from my butt every month, like a woman"

(dude was actually inpatient, this came up a few days in...actual, unrelated diagnosis elucidated when he ended up having a cortisol of 0...)
 
FutureInternist said:
Any guy > 18 who shows up to the ER with their mom is a guaranteed disaster !!! :)
Click to expand...
Not necessarily.

I injured my hands once.... well I got boiling lard on my hands. I was staying at my mom's home visiting for the weekend. I was baking a pork dish. I slipped when I was taking the dish out.... the hot pork juice soaked through the mitts.
I couldn't hold the steering wheel so my mom drove me to the hospital.
I was 28y/o at the time and a senior at my med school.
 
"i have a rash they call asthma"

"my son had esp last year, but he's still having ear pain"
 
"I got another itch-fection down there and want to cure it before it spread to my breasts and arm pits like last time."

Totally gonna use "itchfection" from now on.
 
Clinic patient...50 yo male dialysis pt with uni AKA and multiple diabetic complications....

CC: "Hospitalized 3 days ago. Here for follow up"

Me: "So, tell me about your hospital stay..."
Pt: "I don't know..." *cues tupac shakur on his walkman...yes, he had a walkman*
Me: "Can you turn that off? Thanks. What happened that you had to go to the hospital?"
Pt: .........*long awkward silence*......."I don't know man....."......*about to hit resume on his walkman*
Me: "No no, turn down the music. Can you tell me anything about your hospital stay? Were you feeling dizzy, chest pain, short of breath..?"
Pt: "Man, I'm done with this n-word. I don't need this s---. I'm leaving."

Maybe he should have brought Biggie's mix tape instead with him...?
 
CC: Girlfriend made me come in.

50-something guy, T1DM, apparently had foreign body removal and I&D from right thumb 6 weeks ago. Unwrap his bandaged hand, and the stitches are still there, it's black, and it smells. He spends about 5 minutes arguing with me that it's not black, and smells fine. When asked why he never went to his f/u appointment (at this same hospital), said it was because he didn't have a way to get here. I asked him how he got here today. He asked for a different doctor. =)
 
nala said:
Here's a page an intern got once that always makes me chuckle: "Mrs. X is rubbing applesauce on her chest. Please advise."
Click to expand...

Dear Mr intern please give her heated apple sauce she'll stop it.......:D
 
This is obviously the greatest thread ever and needs bumped.
 
greatnt249 said:
If his thumb is black and smells bad, chances are very high that his condition is beyond the limits of what simply debridement can do.
Click to expand...

Or he just shouldn't put it "in there" any more.
 
CC: "I'm suicidal. I was going to drown myself in the river, but I can't swim."
 
(IM) Page to my attending: "Mr. ______ in room _____ has swallowed his hearing aids. Please advise."

(Psych) Asking pt in a secure residential treatment facility why he's here: "I'm a nut!"

Also, since this thread is apparently also about cats: my vet med friend was working in a clinic when someone brought in a cat with a purulent vaginal discharge. She changed the CC to 'p____ p_____ p_____'. (Yeah, just think about it for a second) Vet thought it was hilarious and left it in the chart. =P
 
jedizero said:
also, since this thread is apparently also about cats: My vet med friend was working in a clinic when someone brought in a cat with a purulent vaginal discharge. She changed the cc to 'p____ p_____ p_____'. (yeah, just think about it for a second) vet thought it was hilarious and left it in the chart. =p
Click to expand...

ftw! :hungover:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Next unread thread

Similar threads

N
HIPAA Complaint - Reportable Breach?
Replies
3
Views
3K
ConspecificPlasma
C
P
How to study for neurology? Using chief complaint?
Replies
0
Views
1K
Phaeochromocytoma
P
A
What's the benefit of being Chief Resident in IM?
Replies
13
Views
15K
ArcGurren
ArcGurren
SB100
Funny attending/chief resident quotes
2 3
Replies
111
Views
52K
Alvarez13
Alvarez13
P
help...chief resident
Replies
3
Views
2K
JeffLebowski
JeffLebowski
Top