Forum Members Funniest Story on the Job Contest

alexj-12

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  • Apr 16, 2021
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      Hey everyone, the funniest story on the job contest starts now! Tell us any funny stories you have from your time on the job and the story with the most reactions will win šŸ†

      The contest ends September 27th and then we'll announce the winner!

      Rules:
      You can tell multiple stories, but each of them will be scored separately.
      Any reaction counts as a vote (i.e. the reaction doesn't need to just be a like, but can be any reaction).

      Prize:
      The member with the highest reaction score will get a special "contest winner" user banner and a $10 Amazon gift card

      Good luck everybody and we're excited to see all of your stories!
       
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      BIL L5-S1 TFE

      Full Member
      Aug 13, 2021
      33
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      1. Pre-Medical
        I was working at a grocery store as a shelf stocker and would often help customers with questions. I happened to be going on break and a woman (~65) stopped me to ask a question about using the self checkout line. As she turned to get my attention she spoke her first words and out shot her dentures. In the quickest reaction a person of her age could have she caught and slammed those things back into her mouth but not before I saw the full set swing completely out, hinging on her front two teeth as connection points.

        I have no memory of what her question was.
         
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        BrontoPronto

        rise and grind
        2+ Year Member
        May 29, 2018
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        1. Pre-Medical
          This was about 2 years ago when I was a student. I was being trained to use a confocal microscope by our facility's confocal expert. He accidentally let a fart slip. We both pretended to not hear it and the rest of the 45 minute session was painfully awkward.
           
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          that redhead

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          Feb 26, 2010
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            A client, who happens to be a physician, brings me his dog because he found a tick on it and heā€™s tried removing it himself to no avail. After completing my exam, I determine that what heā€™s been trying to remove it is in fact a nipple and not a tick and tell him as much. He tells me scornfully, ā€œBut this is a MALE dogā€¦ā€ Uh, yes sir it isā€¦have you looked at your chest lately? :laugh:
             
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            CantFindMeNowAdcoms

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            2+ Year Member
            Feb 21, 2018
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            1. Pre-Medical
              So Iā€™m talking to a patient about a referral to a specialist. I begin to give her the contact information including the name, phone number, their locationā€”normal things like that. She began apologizing and said she canā€™t write it down. When I asked her why and said I could wait for her to grab a pen or what not, I **** you not she said this: ā€œHoney, I canā€™t write that down now. Iā€™m sitting on the toilet.ā€ She then proceeds to holler at the top of her lungs, while Iā€™m still on the phone, to her husband in the other room to come get the phone and write the information down.
               
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              frosted2

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            • Jun 12, 2016
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              Under a cozy blanket
              1. Medical Student
                I was working as an ER tech on night shift when we got new chairs in the department. I sat on one of the new chairs and didn't realize how slick it was in combination with the scrub bottoms I had on. I slid out of the chair and fell flat on my arse... All of my colleagues were (rightfully so) laughing and called security to ask if they could get the security camera feed to re-watch it.
                 
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                staple

                Full Member
                10+ Year Member
                Nov 5, 2010
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                Midwest
                  Why I always turn the head.



                  In the operating room, needed to do back surgery. Patient asleep and now we need to turn the patient onto their stomach. Many people involved in the turn. One person at the foot of the bed to turn the legs, since that is the easy job.



                  "Turn on three"



                  1....

                  2....

                  3....

                  FFFFFFFTTTTTTT

                  MASSIVE pressurized explosion reminiscent of Hiroshima.

                  #2 being aersolized and blasted ten feet across the room.

                  All over the wall, back table, and even ceiling.

                  The stench of satanā€™s bowel permeated the room





                  And one poor soul, standing at the foot of the bed, covered head to toe. Standing with a hollow expression unsure what to do. Let's just say their scrubs weren't green any more.



                  Moral of the story: never volunteer to turn the feet.
                   
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                  calivianya

                  Full Member
                  2+ Year Member
                • Jun 26, 2017
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                  1. Medical Student (Accepted)
                    Longer story, but one of my absolute favorites to tell. I've probably told it here before.


                    I was working and I had one of my most common stable patients - ICU psychosis on a Precedex drip. Guy had been super septic and super unstable, but he had beautiful vitals now, so this was a win. He was just confused af to the point where he was pulling at all of his devices and getting belligerent, so he needed a little bit of the calm-down juice.

                    Except... his central line wasn't sutured in (hospital policy, some BS about fewer punctures and infection control) and he was so sweaty that all of his line dressings and steri strips were only hanging on by a thread even immediately after being changed. Naturally, he accidentally knocked his central line out on my shift while removing his nasal cannula. He had no peripheral access, and he was nearly 600 pounds with no visible veins. Myself and a couple coworkers tried multiple times to get a PIV and failed. His wife, at bedside, started freaking out. I explained it was no big, that he didn't have anything running to keep his blood pressure up anymore. He was only getting medicine to keep him calm, and we had other alternatives for that, so everything would be fine. He could go without an IV for a minute.

                    Oh boy. Talk about famous last words.

                    A very strong inverse relationship between the amount of Precedex he had left in his system and his mental status was obvious within an hour. He was becoming less and less calm, more and more belligerent. He kept trying to get up and walk around, which would have been no big deal, but he had been chemically paralyzed for greater than two weeks just to get his lungs to work with the ventilator, so his legs were in no shape to hold up nearly 600 pounds of human. He needed physical therapy before he could even try. And there was sure as heck no way we could have gotten him off the floor if he tried to walk and collapsed.

                    Did I mention this was the middle of the night with poor staffing and no physical therapists?

                    I started calling the attending intensivist repeatedly. We started with PO meds, but after he spit a Xanax in my face we switched to IMs - Geodon, Haldol, and Ativan. However, I was not at all convinced that even the longest needles I could find were reaching his actual muscles; I think I was giving SQ injections due to his body habitus. I asked the attending to come up and see him because the guy was getting wilder and wilder. By this time, I had a flock of curious coworkers at the door to the room, eager to see what kind of drama was going to unfold next. If there is chaos, expect at least five ICU nurses to linger at the door. We're wired that way.

                    Once the attending intensivist arrived, he took one look at the patient and ordered 2mg more of IM Ativan. I drew it up, stuck the needle in the patient's leg and started pressing the plunger... and the patient, moving faster than I'd seen him move all night, grabbed the syringe out of my hand and started swinging.

                    I reacted by instinct, diving to the foot of the bed like my life depended on it. I was sure that, at any moment, I was going to feel that needle hit my back somewhere and I'd go town like a tranquilized wild animal on the National Geographic channel, surely waking up in the ER for a post-needle stick workup. I could hear my coworkers calling security in the background and several people yelling - the patient, his wife, and a few others.

                    However, I was fortunate enough to be working with the one intensivist who was a fitness buff and an amateur MMA fighter in his spare time. My intensivist dove around the patient and pulled the patient's arm and hand with the syringe backwards until the patient loosened his grip involuntarily. The intensivist took the syringe, told the patient "I'm going to give you this medicine now," and plunged the syringe deep into his leg. I think my mouth was hanging open in awe. However, this also did nothing (body habitus and all), so we ended up having several nurses and a few security guards hold the patient down for IO insertion.

                    I can tell you, I've never put an IO needle in an awake patient before, and that was an incredibly high-pitched scream I heard coming out of such a large man - more so when we started infusing fluids than when we put the actual needle into his bone. I expected a deeper, more manly scream. However, we got the Precedex running again through an IO in his right tibia, and the patient slept the rest of the night. The only casualties of the event? The patient himself, with a new hole in his leg, and the patient's wife, who had apparently been speared through the hand with the dirty needle at one point while the patient was swinging. She declined further testing. The patient's mental status cleared up two days later, and he personally apologized to me for his actions. No big. We get confused people all the time; it wasn't his fault.

                    Two upsides: one - I came away with a great party story, and two - I got to embarrass the attending for a week after. I would dramatically yell, "My knight in shining armor!" and fake swoon when I saw him in the hallway for a while. I hadn't thought it was possible to embarrass him but he went a nice ripe tomato shade of red every time. It was glorious.
                     
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                    Aprilthearab

                    Cornell CVM c/o 2025
                    Jun 30, 2020
                    4,118
                    7,729
                    1. Pre-Veterinary
                      Right at the beginning of the pandemic when I was working as a tech at a vet hospital, we finally had a very brief moment on a busy day where appointments weren't happening and morning surgeries had just finished. Myself and a few others were working on unpacking a dozen or so large boxes of new inventory in the lobby (since clients were not allowed inside) and the associate vet was sitting nearby typing up her surgery reports.

                      Our head surgery tech, typically a very stern lady, unexpectedly intercommed across the hospital - "THIS IS A PANDEMIC." then began blaring the song Stayin' Alive over the intercom. Everyone dropped what they were doing to sing and dance along while flinging packaging material across the lobby. The associate vet, a lady in her 50s and not necessarily in peak physical condition, got so into the music that she dropped down into an attempted split only to get stuck there.

                      The head vet/practice owner walked through the front door toward the end of the song to a lobby full of techs dancing in a sea of styrofoam, cardboard boxes, and packing peanuts with the associate vet stuck in a split in the middle of it all, laughing hysterically. At that same moment, the surgery tech that started the scene walked into the lobby from the back hallway, initially with some pep in her step. She stopped in her tracks once she noticed the head vet standing in the front door immediately across the room and exclaimed "Oh my god, doctor, what are these animals doing?"

                      I still laugh looking back at that thirty second period when the surgery tech and the head vet stared at each other across the packaging mess, both white-faced, highlighted by the sound of Stayin' Alive finishing over the intercom, the packing peanuts settling, and the stuck associate vet's laugh-cries from the floor.
                       
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                      Apollyon

                      Screw the GST
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                      Nov 24, 2002
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                      SCREW IT!
                        So, this happened about 26 years ago. I had completed paramedic school, and was on my probation period, working with a more senior EMT-P. We had a morning diabetic call. We were paid, and we went with volunteer fire. This volly company had (and still does have) a lot of upper middle class members, lawyers, managers, and such - people that wear ties to work - very staid, serious types. The pt is a thin guy, face down in the bed. The guy farts. My partner, JB, a big, garrulous guy, who is also volly with a neighboring company (and knows these guys) says, "Did someone pull his finger?" Some smiles crack the visage. The guy fights, so, we can't put in an IV. We had to go with intramuscular Glucagon. The rule is, use a large needle to draw it up, and change to a smaller needle to inject. I forgot to do that. 18 gauge needle (about the size of a pencil lead) into the left deltoid, and went to the bone. Oops!

                        We give a little bit of time for the Glucagon to work. His mental status improves. His wife gets some orange juice. I'm sitting in front of him, face to face. He takes the glass, and raises it to drink it - and, at the last second, throws it in my face! JB says "Ha-ha" like Nelson from The Simpsons and points at me - and the stone faced Snyder FD guys just lose it. There's 5 or 7 of them, and they all bust out laughing.

                        The guy's blood sugar evens out, and he was so embarrassed and apologetic. But, we just went back to work (and I went back to the station to change my shirt!).
                         
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                        Any1410s

                        New Member
                        Aug 19, 2021
                        8
                        4
                        1. Pharmacist
                          I was practicing in a very busy retail pharmacy in the Bible Belt....

                          Man drops off his prescription for Cialis. My techs were very busy so I hurriedly typed in the directions, labeled the bottle, called out the last name of the patient.

                          His wife walks over, pays for the rx, opens the bag up and checks out the bottle. She starts HOLLERING at her husband. I mean, she is giving him the 3rd degree and is literally BEATING him with her pocketbook as they walk out. I felt pretty bad for the guy.

                          Later on, the husband calls in and wants to speak to the manager, which was me. He wanted to know what the prescription said because he said I made an error on the directions...to my HORROR, I realized that I got a little too 'sig' happy and I inserted an O in the wrong place..

                          The bottle read--"Take 1 tablet daily as needed for porn"

                          And he was a Southern Baptist Preacher

                          Oops :)
                           
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                          nikolaite

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                          Jul 7, 2020
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                          1. Pre-Medical
                          2. Non-Student
                            A requisition for all-stainless steel locks came across the desk from the vet techs. Apparently a masterlock failed and one of the NHPs was found loose in the lab. Not the housing facility, but the actual lab. All told, he did $Ks in damage; feces everywhere. I think he even bit one of the techs trying to wrangle him.

                            Upper management denied the requisition.

                            Two days later on nightly news the local FD was hot on the trail of an African Green NHP in the heart of historic downtown. Boy, thatā€™s curious! I mean what private keeper goes through the headache of registering an African Green?

                            Next day I get a call from upper management asking how quickly I can get the requisition filled for all-stainless cage locks. I thought...this is a bit a** backwards as UM never chases down reqs. Especially not denied reqs. Found out the African Green gallivanting on Main Street was from the housing facility. Additionally, when city hall called demanding an explanation after they caught the NHP, only a housing tech was available. This tech probably was the one bitten, and spilled the beans on the previous escape and the faulty lock and the refusal of UM to get decent equipment and the particular UMā€™s name.

                            Definitely a SHTF incident. Got decent cage hardware out of it, though.
                             

                            alexj-12

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                          • Apr 16, 2021
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                              Find out the winner here! Thanks for participating everyone :D
                               
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