Going through an anxiety filled identity crisis... Help!

[Vi&Feli]

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Oh my gosh. This got really long. I'm so sorry. Feel free to consider this my mopey diary entry and not read if you don't want. I promise 99% of the time I'm fine. The other 1% I look at my chemistry grades and melt into a puddle of anxiety that is about as deep as my self-esteem in that moment.

So I didn't decide I wanted to be pre-vet until spring semester of my sophomore year. I was initially pre-med and my freshman year was chaotic. I didn't party at all, or anything of that nature. Rather I had my first ever flare of Crohn's disease and was undiagnosed. I was shuffled from doctor to doctor with no answers (besides stress) and ended up with a D in my math course (I had to leave two exams due to a bathroom crisis) and a B- in chemistry. I also received a B+ in a language that I'm fluent in 🙁 Still no answers coming into spring semester of that year and I had come out to my parents as a lesbian, which they really didn't take well. That semester I did decently. An A-, an A, and a B, but I also got a C in chemistry (are you noticing a trend in my chemistry grades?)

That summer I retook my math course (a B!) and got diagnosed with Crohn's and ADHD. My ADHD typically isn't an issue except when I'm crohn's flaring and really isn't an issue when I'm doing what I love.

Fall semester of my sophmore year continued on my upward trend. 3 A's and a B. I pulled a C in organic chem.

Now I'm taking Organic II and Organic lab, plus genetics, and a 3rd foreign language (which I got an A in last semester). My organic lab professor and orgo II professor would write me a solid letter of rec attesting to the fact that my chemistry skills aren't truly as awful as my grades suggest.

I have thousands of equine hours from high school as well as paid small animal experience from then, and am currently shadowing at a vet clinic (all 3 vets there would write me a solid letter of rec) where I typically put in 4-8 hours a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. During breaks I do many more. I've scrubbed in on multiple surgeries and gotten to help with autopsies and similar events. They are very hands on with me. I've given x-rays, I've ultra sounded a pig, I'm on call to pull at least one calf this spring 😉 I've helped clean maggots out of the rear end of a calf that had gotten scours and then had flies lay eggs on her. For my summer job I put in approximately 300 hours with a man who raises show chickens. In fact, I helped him design a breeding program to help him improve his stock significantly.

I want to do an internship, but I just don't know if I can afford to not work for a summer.

I love medicine and I love animal work. The only reason I turned away from human med was due to my own experiences freshman year and the fact that human procedures squick me out. I empathize too much and then start to feel the pain myself and just I do not have that issue with animals (which isn't to say I don't empathize. I just got to help diagnose a cow with Johne's disease. I feel his pain.)

But occasionally I look at my chemistry grades and have a panic attack that I'm not going to be good enough! 4.0 students sometimes don't get into vet school. Will an admission committee even want to hear about my Crohn's issues? Will it matter? Are my grades an absolute death sentence? My grades clearly hadn't improved... I was really sick fall semester of sophomore year (lost 16 ibs), but that's not really an excuse. I feel like I will never get admitted, but I can't imagine doing anything else. I can retake at least one of my chemistry courses. Probably... I just haven't decided if it'd even be worth it.

 

[hazelmoo]

I had a D (micro- retook with different prof and made an A) and 2 Cs in chem classes, and I still got in! My GPA was around a 3.5. Grades aren't everything. Just make sure that you keep trying your best and retake any classes you do poorly in, and try to do well on the GRE. Keep getting diverse vet experiences also. You might be able to find a paid internship somewhere, but unpaid ones are more common. There there are lots of zoo and wildlife internships on the AZA website, you might check that out since it seems like you have good experience in other areas! Or you could try to get hired as a tech!

In the vet school application, there is an essay you can write to "explain" any miscomings and struggles you have faced; I think it is completely reasonable to talk about your disease and whatever else affected your academics! Just keep doing your best and try not to worry too much. It will all work out!

 

[rockatiel]

I myself went through an "anxiety filled crisis"... But mine didn't come until recently. I wasn't sick as you were as a freshman, I just didn't know what I wanted out of life. I raised a 2.8 GPA to nearly a 3.6. I began working as a tech and I realized what I wanted in life! Before this cycle, I was still very hesitant to do my app--I wasn't sure what would happen and I was so scared of failure. This is where my crisis comes in. My GRE was also horrible. I knew there were flaws in my app and I didn't know what would become of it all. Last week I interviewed at an OOS school and interview at my state school later this month! You sound like someone the schools want, good with adversity, good with animals, and smart! Study hard for your GRE and go from there. You will also have to retake any prereq below a C- for sure. Try to look at schools who put weight on the things you are best at, the ones that get your good sides. For me, that was my last 45 credits--a 3.8. Good luck OP!

 

[rockatiel]

I forgot to include--I have family that suffer from autoimmune diseases. I know how awful they can be and how many things they can affect at once. I think you're doing very well with what I know you must handle.

 

[Vi&Feli]

I just wanted to thank you guys and let you know that I'm really not this anxiety filled mess usually. In my day to day life I don't usually even think about it, or let it get to me. I just have my first chem midterm and need to figure out my course schedule to hit all my pre-reqs . I know what I want to do, but it's not usually this sense of doom that I'm not good enough. Maybe tonight I'll take a break and read a book or something. It doesn't do me any good to get like this.

 

[sheltermed]

I go through this more often than I should. You're definitely not alone!

I just spoke with a professor who suggested I wait to apply until next year, rather this cycle which was my initial plan. This way, I have some more time to re-take the GRE, and to show that I'm capable of better grades. Maybe pick up a unique minor to make myself stand out a little more. It definitely is not all about grades (though there is no denying that they are important). I don't think there are too many perfect applicants. If anything, it's those hiccups throughout your academic career that will make you stand out in the eyes of admissions committees. Everyone is going to have their issues - it's what you learned and how you grew that are the things vet schools will care about.

Hang in there - it's really hard right now, I know (I'm in the middle of taking biochemistry , all while also dealing with my own new ADD diagnosis, among other things) - but if this is what you want, never give up and you will make it.

 

[Skimble]

I'm not sure where you are planning to apply, but some admissions counsilors are willing to speak to you during the application cycle (the counsilors at penn are awesome and super helpful, I'm sure other schools have kick a$$ counsilors too). It may not be a bad idea to call a few of the school's you are interested in to see what their thoughts are. I'd wait until early May though, as they are really busy right now with the whole acceptance process.

 

[Vi&Feli]

I'm not sure where you are planning to apply, but some admissions counsilors are willing to speak to you during the application cycle (the counsilors at penn are awesome and super helpful, I'm sure other schools have kick a$$ counsilors too). It may not be a bad idea to call a few of the school's you are interested in to see what their thoughts are. I'd wait until early May though, as they are really busy right now with the whole acceptance process.

I'd be applying the cycle after next. ISU is my first choice (instate), but I'm also looking at KState (the vet I'm shadowing's alma mater), Michigan State, and Ohio State. I really don't think I stand a chance at the latter two, but I'd still like to apply. I was also looking at Florida today. Looking beyond the U.S., I'd really only consider Edinburgh. I'm not comfortable with the potential debt of the Caribbean schools, though I know the vet whom I shadow's nephew attended on St. Kitts.

I'm going to be contacting an equine reproductive center near me and see if I can set up a summer internship with them. They do AI and embryo transfers which I know are tricky in horses. It's nothing as interesting a zoo experience, but I'm not really at all interested in zoo med. I'd much prefer small/large dual practice, a repro specialty, or surgery. I really enjoy surgery (which I hadn't at all expected).

 

[Vi&Feli]

I go through this more often than I should. You're definitely not alone!

I just spoke with a professor who suggested I wait to apply until next year, rather this cycle which was my initial plan. This way, I have some more time to re-take the GRE, and to show that I'm capable of better grades. Maybe pick up a unique minor to make myself stand out a little more. It definitely is not all about grades (though there is no denying that they are important). I don't think there are too many perfect applicants. If anything, it's those hiccups throughout your academic career that will make you stand out in the eyes of admissions committees. Everyone is going to have their issues - it's what you learned and how you grew that are the things vet schools will care about.

Hang in there - it's really hard right now, I know (I'm in the middle of taking biochemistry , all while also dealing with my own new ADD diagnosis, among other things) - but if this is what you want, never give up and you will make it.

I feel the ADD. I currently am a genetics major, probably switching to a B.A. in Bio and picking up a minor in either Italian or German. Possibly a global health certificate? I'm not sure, I've been looking into my options. To hit all my pre-reqs, I'd be essentially double majoring but only getting credit for a genetics major if I went that route. I'd have no lee-way for other classes I enjoy. If I do a BA in Bio on the other hand, I can continue learning languages (which I love), possibly study abroad (which I absolutely want to do again after my high school experience), as well as take the miscellaneous lit courses and such that I love . There is one literature professor who I got along great with and I loved his course, and if I get the opportunity again, I absolutely want to be able to take another one of his courses. Which wouldn't be possible as a genetics major.

 

[BirdsinMyHouse]

Somebody once told me, "you don't have to apologize for the past, just own it." So if stuff happened, it happened. What matters to an admissions committee is not necessarily the events leading up to/during bad circumstances, but A) how you handled those circumstances and B) if those problems will interfere with your ability to do vet school.

If you can retake courses and do better, do so. Some schools replace old grades with new ones *cough*ohiostate*cough* and place more emphasis on certain courses. Biochem is a biggie.

Remember you have time. There is no life timeline for when you have to apply to vet school and get in by, so even if you don't get in the first time, you're in good company. Many people don't. Here again, overcoming adversity is a necessary part of life and vet school, too. Things are going to happen during vet school but you're expected to soldier on (to an extent, they will likely work with you as much as they can, but you still have to do the work), and demonstrating that you can handle stressful situations while doing decently in school is good. Going back and retaking courses to do better shows perseverance and dedication.

 

[Shrike Pilgrim]

I'm a type 1 diabetic and I had to leave my Organic Chem final with my professor in tow to get a candy bar because I had a hypoglycemic event in the middle of the exam. Now I'm two months from starting clinical rotations. I wouldn't let your medical issues and any resulting academic problems scare you from at least applying if this is what you really want to do. Some schools (UTK for example) are taking the application packet as a whole, including relevent experience, when considering who to interview, so bad grades don't have to be a killer. It sounds like if you can get an interview you'll be able to tell a pretty convincing story of why you should be there.

 

[twelvetigers]

... a B- in chemistry ... a C in chemistry ... I pulled a C in organic chem ...

You had a lot to that post and I'm ignoring a lot of it here, but here are my chem grades:

Chem 1 - C
Chem 2 - C
Orgo part 1 - C
Orgo part 2 - C
Orgo lab - C
Biochem - B
Retook all in one orgo with lab - A (I think?)

I also had a D in physics 2 that I had to retake.

So it's not a three strikes and you're out sort of thing. It does make it harder, so it's important to turn around and do the best you can, and try to recognize when you are struggling and remedy it ASAP, but it's something that can be overcome.

Good luck in the future.

 

[that redhead]

But occasionally I look at my chemistry grades and have a panic attack that I'm not going to be good enough! 4.0 students sometimes don't get into vet school. Will an admission committee even want to hear about my Crohn's issues? Will it matter? Are my grades an absolute death sentence? My grades clearly hadn't improved... I was really sick fall semester of sophomore year (lost 16 ibs), but that's not really an excuse. I feel like I will never get admitted, but I can't imagine doing anything else. I can retake at least one of my chemistry courses. Probably... I just haven't decided if it'd even be worth it.

It's up to you if it would be worth it. I nearly didn't apply to vet school because I figured I'd be happy doing something else in the veterinary field. There are other fulfilling careers out there that allow you to work with animals, help animals, be involved in medicine, etc. I applied because my family pushed me to apply because it's what I'd always wanted and they didn't want me regretting that decision. Now, I'm a veterinarian and I enjoy what I do but it isn't like every day is the best day of my life just because I'm a vet.

You can absolutely be admitted with less than perfect grades, but it behooves you to get the best possible grades and show admissions committees that you are as ready as you can be for the extremely rigorous course load ahead of you in vet school. It isn't as though you just need to make it through chemistry and you're playing with puppies and kittens all day for four years - you're taking tough science-based classes at an even higher volume and faster pace. If you're struggling in undergrad, you will struggle in vet school unless you can find a way to handle academics. I say this as someone who's biggest obstacle was chemistry, who had a sub-3.0 application and who wished very much that I'd taken the time to get my sht together earlier than I did.

Write about your Crohn's disease in your explanation statement, and how you will deal with it during school. Find a way to succeed in your chemistry courses - do not do the same thing again and again hoping for a different result - and then re-take them. Take other upper level sciences and get A's in them. Then apply.

 

[pp9]

I'd be applying the cycle after next. ISU is my first choice (instate), but I'm also looking at KState (the vet I'm shadowing's alma mater), Michigan State, and Ohio State. I really don't think I stand a chance at the latter two, but I'd still like to apply. I was also looking at Florida today. Looking beyond the U.S., I'd really only consider Edinburgh. I'm not comfortable with the potential debt of the Caribbean schools, though I know the vet whom I shadow's nephew attended on St. Kitts.

I'm going to be contacting an equine reproductive center near me and see if I can set up a summer internship with them. They do AI and embryo transfers which I know are tricky in horses. It's nothing as interesting a zoo experience, but I'm not really at all interested in zoo med. I'd much prefer small/large dual practice, a repro specialty, or surgery. I really enjoy surgery (which I hadn't at all expected).

Idk, it sounds pretty interesting to me. It's less common to see applicants doing really unique things such as therio work. I have classmates that got into school and have never touched a horse. Equine/LA veterinary experience is fairly hard to get IMO (a lot of it depends on location, too). Reproductive equine work? Pretty cool.

Zoo med is where I want to end up. While I think it's interesting, it's becoming less unique on applications as time goes on it seems.