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idiotface

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hi im a premed. so heres the thing, everyone since the beginning of my life hates me and i was always bullied. I have a terrible relationship with my parents. my dad doesnt like me and my mom annoyed the crap out of me during my entire childhood. every interview (med school or job) has resulted in an eventual denial. my self-confidence is alarmingly low, and i question everything i think or do. However, I want to get out of my house and go to med school. I applied and I have two scheduled MD interviews. My question is Can I ever get into med school as a terrible interviewer. Can my other stuff on my profile make up for a terrible interview? Can I keep applying and building up my resume and eventually get in despite having terrible interview skills? Dont reply to me "If you have no social skills, then you are in the wrong profession." Truth of the matter is, every profession demands interaction with other people. I am hoping that when I get out of the house and get away from my family, I can use new independence to slowly regain some confidence in myself. Im not a bad or terrible person and I do want to be a doctor. Whatever I become, I want to be a nice person above all. So please dont think i have a toxic personality or anything. I just suck at life right now. One interview is traditional and the other is MMI. I am fully expecting to blow both of them and have to reapply and build a better resume to help me out. Does anyone know if people can get in with bad interviews?? Thanks in advance.
 

YayPudding

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"I applied and I have two scheduled MD interviews."

Congratulations on this accomplishment! As someone who has gone a number of both regular interviews and some MMIs I advise you meet with an advisor IMMEDIATELY or some friends who can help get you through some practice runs. It's the same way you did well in school and on the MCAT - you were prepared. Get into your suit, find a quiet place like a study room in a library and run through some scenarios.

All that said, you may be in a bad place if you feel you are destined to fail. This could in fact be pathological and you may want to speak with someone about these feelings and your difficulties with interviews.

Practice MMI prompts: https://multipleminiinterview.com/mmi-questions/
 
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idiotface

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I don't feel bad during the interview, but the results are bad. I can reflect on my interview experience. First one was at a DO med school and I thought that I had connected with my interviewer. I wore a suit and all, but you know some of the fatal flaws of a med school interview that they talk about? I feel like I may have had some of them. Firstly, I went blank when he asked me why I wanted to be a doctor. I did this because he started writing as soon as I started talking and so I thought I said something wrong. After he talked and I became comfortable, I was able to answer the question. Unfortunately, one of the reasons I provided was that my father got me interested in medicine. It may have easily been misconstrued as I'm applying only because of my dad. I listed some other reasons on top of that. I thought we connected in that his father also told him to apply to med school. We also connected in that we both wanted to do pro sports and thought we could be good enough. All in all, he spent most of the time persecuting me for my lack of EC involvement and criticizing the nature of my research and lack of biology/medical research. I thought he should appreciate all fields of research equally, so this quickly turned me off to the school. I spent the whole time with one other interviewee, who I thought was boring and robotic. The irony is that he probably got accepted and I didn't. I ended up getting waitlisted and later withdrew.
Second was for a pharmacy receptionist position, or so I thought... I got to the interview and they told me it was for pharmacy tech when I told them that it was for the receptionist position as stated in the newspaper listings. They knew I wasn't certified for the pharmacy tech position so the interview was REALLY short and they ended up essentially ignoring me.
Third was for a med scribe position. I told my interviewer that I was applying for med school and I could not devote at least a full year to the job. He told me that it would be a problem, but I didn't know the interview was off. I still arrived at the interview and he wasn't there so I called him and asked him where he was. I told him 10 months or so was nearly a year and still a good amount of time to dedicate to the job. He gave in and arrived at the interview. I don't really know what I did wrong. The only thing I imagine that was bad was that I didn't know that a CVA was a stroke. I knew it stood for cerebrovascular accident, and I know what a stroke is. I just never made the connection. He made me take a typing test and he said I type about as fast as him. I think it was about 60 wpm or so, but I don't think that was the problem. I improvised well and I thought I did a good job, but not so... I received the denial e-mail the following weekend.
Fourth was for another med scribe position. I didn't wear a suit, but I didn't think it was necessary. I dressed semi-formal with what I thought was more creative and unique than the cliche suit-and-tie. Also, I didn't bring my resume thinking that they would have it. I thought I did well in the interview and I thought I had quite a bit to offer. Once again, I received a denial e-mail. I promptly reached out to my interviewer and pretty much begged for feedback. She said it was because I didn't have a suit and tie, I didn't bring my resume, and the other applicants had more to offer...
But what's more devastating to my morale is having applied to nearly 40 positions and not hearing back from so many of them. I know there may be correctable mistakes or bad luck involved, but no matter what, recurrent failure is always confidence-draining.
And what's worse is that I tend to get on people's bad side. Like when I shadowed a doctor once, I thought it was okay to bring out my phone to text and that wasn't exactly well-received. Or the fact that I volunteered at a hospital and I was pretend-shooting ID clips into the bin. I like basketball, sue me... I also got in a bit of trouble as a tutor because I gave someone credit for multiple tutoring sessions and so I was allegedly promoting "cramming."
And the list goes on and on and essentially it's a pattern of inappropriate behavior that seems to be giving a bad impression. If it's not one thing, it's the other. When I stop doing one abrasive thing, then I start doing another. It goes back as far as I can remember. Like in middle school, when people walked by my desk, I would try to trip them then laugh about it. Also, in my math classes, I would go to sleep and the teacher would throw chalk at me to wake me up. What is wrong with me? What if I never become personable? Forget about being a doctor, I may end up being homeless because any job requires you to get along with others. Even a cashier has to get along with the supervisor. Trust me, I worked as one before and it sucks! So in other words I suck. Is there hope or no? But yeah I'll look at the resource you posted. Thanks.
 

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Do you practice? Based on some of the things you said, it sounds like you lacked practice. For example, for "why do you want to be a doctor" you should have a precomposed answer that you can basically recite because it's that common of a question. That's also the main idea of your personal statement so there shouldn't be an excuse there

For practice, your pre-med advising office should have a question bank that contains questions past students have been asked. If not, talk to your advisor/consult the internet. Practice with people, and go over your answers with someone you trust (ie advisor, parent, etc)

Also, if you don't mind, what's your GPA and MCAT? You said "All in all, he spent most of the time persecuting me for my lack of EC involvement and criticizing the nature of my research and lack of biology/medical research." IIRC, if you want to get an interview your sGPA and MCAT are the most important parts of your app. Then after you interview your ECs/Interview/personal statement are most important. It sounds like you lack ECs which may be why you're getting denied, not necessarily your interview skills
 

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Suggest counseling. You have a lot of issues to deal with and I fear that these will cripple you in med school.

When my dad went to counseling, it did nothing for him. He's still depressed all day long making everyones life miserable. When my mom went to counseling, she still had psychological issues. "Counseling" doesn't do anything unless the problem is removed. My problem is my lack of independence and freedom to be myself and that could be removed if I went to med school. From the time I was a baby, it seemed my dad did not approve of any kind of happiness or fun. My mom thought it was okay to take away my freedom, make ridiculous rules, and make my life a misery when I didn't abide by them. I think you're making the assumption that these psychological issues are inherently part of my personality. For some people, it is. Not for me. I take on a different persona at home, but I really just want to be myself. I know what it's like to think normally, so I don't think I'm being the real me when I have these issues. Rather, I think there is a trigger. So therefore, I don't think these issues would cripple me in med school. On the contrary, I think they would go away and I could be the person I want to be.
I know what you are thinking. "He is saying he's going to change but not really. I've seen this many times before." However, I would throw caution to this way of thinking. This may not be the case with me. I just want to go out on my own and see if I can expel some of my demons if I am indeed allowed to be myself, instead of chronically suppressing my true personality and character. Its not fair I just want to be myself!!!! But i cant. :(
But I am secretly honored that the great Goro replied to my thread! But it's still doesn't help my problem. Thanks anyway for reaching out to me. Btw I come from an extremely religious conservative traditional family where fun and freedom is basically death.
 

idiotface

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Do you practice? Based on some of the things you said, it sounds like you lacked practice. For example, for "why do you want to be a doctor" you should have a precomposed answer that you can basically recite because it's that common of a question. That's also the main idea of your personal statement so there shouldn't be an excuse there

For practice, your pre-med advising office should have a question bank that contains questions past students have been asked. If not, talk to your advisor/consult the internet. Practice with people, and go over your answers with someone you trust (ie advisor, parent, etc)

Also, if you don't mind, what's your GPA and MCAT? You said "All in all, he spent most of the time persecuting me for my lack of EC involvement and criticizing the nature of my research and lack of biology/medical research." IIRC, if you want to get an interview your sGPA and MCAT are the most important parts of your app. Then after you interview your ECs/Interview/personal statement are most important. It sounds like you lack ECs which may be why you're getting denied, not necessarily your interview skills

Quite right, I dont practice. For the "why do you want to be a doc" question, I did have an answer I thought about before. Saying that my dad was behind it was not the only reason I gave. I think I said something along the lines of "possibility." There's a lot of possibility in the med field, so many different specialties, so many different roles to take on, different positions to seek, and it can be a gateway to other positions of leadership and involvement. I said something along those lines. But I am worried that he misconstrued my answer as "Im doing it because my dad told me to," when I actually meant "My dad opened my eyes to medicine." Is that so terrible?
He didn't criticize the lack of EC's, he criticized the nature of the EC's. As if one scholarly project is better than another. As if one field is more important than the other.
Yes, I am going to contact my pre-med adviser before my first interview. I realize now I have no option because I suck too much. I will also consult the internet, as well. I will practice with an advisor, but not a parent.
514, 3.75
 

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So just because your dad had a bad experience with therapy, you're writing it off?

OK, what's your Plan B? Med school is a furnace and I've seen it break even healthy students.
 
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idiotface

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So just because your dad had a bad experience with therapy, you're writing it off?

OK, what's your Plan B? Med school is a furnace and I've seen it break even healthy students.

Im not writing it off, Im sure that therapy can solve certain people's problems. As for me, I don't think it will help because I know what my problem is. It's not a secret that will be revealed with therapy. It's not a problem that will be solved by talking about it. I could talk about it all I want, but when I go home the problem will still be there. If I thought therapy could help, I would consider it. I don't have any underlying problems that persist regardless of the situation, like PTSD or a death in the family, or unrelenting depression. My problems are dependent on the immediate situation that I'm in.
My plan B is grad school, I suppose. But Im not good in the lab, that's why I never wanted to do research. The only way I can do work with my mind is if I went for physics, but I dont have the prereqs and I would have to go back to school and get them before I can think of a PhD in that. I know a physics PhD would ultimately take a very long time and I may end up not being able to find a job, or not doing work I wanted to do, or end up being underpaid. This is why I wanted to be a doctor. And you might go on to say, "Well, being a doctor is very hands-on," at which point I would remark, "There are some specialties that are not very hands-on. I knew a med student who was considered 'physically ******ed' and couldn't perform simple chemistry labs and yet he is now in a neurology residency." An MD is a nice compromise where it's not too hands-on and I can also learn a lot and work with my mind. I thought it was my best option.
 

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I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and I'm not (nor is anyone else here) saying that you WON'T have your issues resolved in a better environment. but the truth is that there is no guarantee you WILL either, and medical school is not a good place to find out if you will or won't.

I think you're misplacing your concern. bad interview skills is not the biggest issue here, and somehow "sliding by" by having other attributes possibly make up for bad interviewing will most likely not help you in the long run. the truth is positive change rarely comes from external factors acting upon you; it's also generally not sustainable. real change, the kind that lasts, comes from within (and yes, being in a less straining environment can help).

but again, medical school is not the place for you to find out if you can gain self confidence and be good at cultivating interpersonal skills. also from what you wrote, it sounds like medical school is more of an escape for you than anything else. it would be in your best interest to resolve these mental and emotional concerns before embarking on the long journey that is medicine.
 
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idiotface

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I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and I'm not (nor is anyone else here) saying that you WON'T have your issues resolved in a better environment. but the truth is that there is no guarantee you WILL either, and medical school is not a good place to find out if you will or won't.

I think you're misplacing your concern. bad interview skills is not the biggest issue here, and somehow "sliding by" by having other attributes possibly make up for bad interviewing will most likely not help you in the long run. the truth is positive change rarely comes from external factors acting upon you; it's also generally not sustainable. real change, the kind that lasts, comes from within (and yes, being in a less straining environment can help).

but again, medical school is not the place for you to find out if you can gain self confidence and be good at cultivating interpersonal skills. also from what you wrote, it sounds like medical school is more of an escape for you than anything else. it would be in your best interest to resolve these mental and emotional concerns before embarking on the long journey that is medicine.

LOL! it would be in my best interest to resolve these mental and emotional concerns before embarking on the long journey that is medicine. Is that what you would say to a parent who wants you to get the hell out of the house. "I'm sorry, dad, Im not in the right place to do medicine, right now. I need to resolve some emotional concerns, just give me a couple years." My dad is rushing me to do something now. Just yesterday he was telling me that I have to get into med school soon. We are a conservative traditional family. There are no good decisions, only rushed ones. By the way, Im not old, Im 22. I graduated college a year ago, one semester early. But apparently, Im taking a really long time to get in. If I were doing it my way, I probably would have taken everything slower and really tried to do it the right way. But then again, if I were indeed doing things my way, I wouldn't have these problems in the first place.
I understand everything that you guys are saying and it seems rational. You're right, gamieg, med school is not a place to find out if you can cultivate interpersonal skills or to find out if you're mentally and emotionally stable enough. But my situation is not like most others. If I ever do get in, I'll let everyone know how everything goes. And thanks, gamieg, youre the only person who answered my original question and it's an answer that worries me. I don't think Im a bad interviewer but the results suggest that I am. I typically find a comfort zone at some point in the interview, if not right away. I will keep in mind some of the things I've learned with my past interviews and hope it helps.

I know a couple other people with similar problems and they're my only friends. I guess people with similar personalities tend to befriend one another. One of them is a guy who also has confidence issues, but wont admit it. Every time he learns of someone who has a higher MCAT or someone who got into med school, or someone with a better resume, etc., he always begins to either berate them or become quiet and stop talking. When he receives criticism, he runs away from the task. When we are studying something challenging or out of his comfort zone, he takes breaks every 30 seconds and goes on ESPN or YouTube. And my other friend has similar personality, in which she tends to run away from challenging academic tasks of the sort. All three of us have this problem that I hypothesize is neither reflective of our abilities nor a sign of an antisocial personality, but rather a manifestation of a sensitive ego. We don't want to get our feelings hurt by failing or not understanding something. Also, all three of us have dealt with A-holes in our lives. My problem is with everything- not just academic/intellectual stuff. And with me, I don't exactly run away from the task, instead I fixate over perceived mistakes or failures for long periods of time. It's a neurosis, but not a specific one, a very generalized one. I've had it for a long time and I feel like it comes from all the criticism I have received in my life. I feel like if I can just be on my own for awhile, it will go away. I don't think it's a part of me, I've had extended periods of time where I was comfortable with myself. Sorry if this turned into a therapy session on SDN, but why not, right?
 

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I think that we're done here.


Im not writing it off, Im sure that therapy can solve certain people's problems. As for me, I don't think it will help because I know what my problem is. It's not a secret that will be revealed with therapy. It's not a problem that will be solved by talking about it. I could talk about it all I want, but when I go home the problem will still be there. If I thought therapy could help, I would consider it. I don't have any underlying problems that persist regardless of the situation, like PTSD or a death in the family, or unrelenting depression. My problems are dependent on the immediate situation that I'm in.
My plan B is grad school, I suppose. But Im not good in the lab, that's why I never wanted to do research. The only way I can do work with my mind is if I went for physics, but I dont have the prereqs and I would have to go back to school and get them before I can think of a PhD in that. I know a physics PhD would ultimately take a very long time and I may end up not being able to find a job, or not doing work I wanted to do, or end up being underpaid. This is why I wanted to be a doctor. And you might go on to say, "Well, being a doctor is very hands-on," at which point I would remark, "There are some specialties that are not very hands-on. I knew a med student who was considered 'physically ******ed' and couldn't perform simple chemistry labs and yet he is now in a neurology residency." An MD is a nice compromise where it's not too hands-on and I can also learn a lot and work with my mind. I thought it was my best option.
 
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idiotface

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I think that we're done here.

Why must everyone laugh or disregard everything I say? Can you at least elaborate on what I said that was so bad. Jeez, I feel so alienated by everyone. Why?????
 

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Goro, who has a great deal of experience with the spectrum of the medical school experience, has made his recommendation. Beyond that, what can be said?
 
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idiotface

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Goro, who has a great deal of experience with the spectrum of the medical school experience, has made his recommendation. Beyond that, what can be said?

I know youre being sarcastic. How did you get into med school, you dont seem very nice or compassionate. You know, one day, you may very well have to deal with someone like me. And condescension doesn't help. Isn't medicine all about being able to reach out to and relate with anyone regardless of race, age, gender, religion or especially mental condition? In the future, please don't treat your crazy patients like they're crazy.
 
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Shotapp

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@idiotface

YayPudding's post did not read sarcastic at all and even if it did, you shouldn't judge a person's character based on a single post.
 
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Goro

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OP asks for advice
OP is given good advice
OP ignores and argues against advice.

SDN is not a place for hugs and kisses, but realistic advice. It's up to you to accept or not. Applying Ignore function now. You'll feel a slight pressure between the eyes. Try not to go loose cannon on us, will ya?
 
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idiotface

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OP asks for advice
OP is given good advice
OP ignores and argues against advice.

SDN is not a place for hugs and kisses, but realistic advice. It's up to you to accept or not. Applying Ignore function now. You'll feel a slight pressure between the eyes. Try not to go loose cannon on us, will ya?

I just wanted to know what you meant by we're done here. It seemed as though you weren't trying to give any advice, but just end discussion on the post because you made some conclusion based on something that I said. I don't want hugs and kisses, I just want clarity. Cryptic, unclear messages like "I think we're done here" is neither mean nor nice; rather, it opens more questions than it answers. I am sorry you are ignoring me. I didn't go loose cannon, I just want people to come to my level and speak TO me, not ABOUT me as you did before. Sorry for the confusion.
 
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idiotface

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1) There are LOTS of different kinds of therapy- not all (or even most?) therapy is just "talking therapy". I used to feel the same way until I sought therapy while in graduate school and it has helped me to deal with stress and criticism and self-reflection. It's hard to find the right fit in terms of a therapist, but I do think it's worthwhile for everyone, not just people going through a crisis or depression.
2) The second bolded part kind of concerns me with your motivation. It kind of seems like you're using medicine as a guaranteed job which isn't the case (feel free to give more concrete reasons on why you are pursuing medicine if this is totally off the mark- maybe articulating it here will help you think about how you want to word it in your future interviews).

In general from the rest of your posts, I think that reflecting on how you can improve is really essential for success in any field. It's also important to work on getting thick skin- my spouse had to apply to around 100 positions to get a job- it's just the reality of the world right now. Figuring out how to both learn from criticism and improve while staying positive is important (and something that you may learn through therapy if you end up going) and will benefit you in the future.

I think that you can definitely work on some small things to improve your chances at your future interviews. 1) have compelling reasons why you want to go into medicine (it's cool that your dad played a role, but make sure you explain why, like "my father first inspired my interest in medicine because of xyz". 2) practice interviewing with someone who is honest with you- work on eye contact, try to smile, firm handshake, etc. When you said this: " All in all, he spent most of the time persecuting me for my lack of EC involvement and criticizing the nature of my research and lack of biology/medical research. I thought he should appreciate all fields of research equally, so this quickly turned me off to the school."-- It's an interview. They may "grill you" on things and you have to appear composed and humble. They're running the show and you have to be willing to say "that's a really good point and something that I will definitely consider in the future."

Hope this helps in some way. Good luck on your future interviews!

I want to consider therapy if I still have issues when the apparent cause of them are gone. I am not running away from it, but I will definitely consider it at some point. Thanks.
There's a few things I like about medicine. I like science and I enjoy the education aspect. I like the thinking part; I liken it to detective work, but with symptoms, clinical presentation, patient history, etc. I like that it's financially secure and I don't see myself having to struggle to find a job. I like that it pays well. I like the challenge of it. I like how there's unlimited information. I like how research in the field is advancing physician's capability to treat disease and its resultant impact on public health. I like the different levels of medicine; basic, translational, and clinical and how clinical is dependent on basic, yet the basic aspect must be tested out in clinical trials. I like how it has the capacity to be interdisciplinary. I like how the essence of medicine is giving something no one else can give; more time. I like so much about it. I love the knowledge, the practice, and the research. I obviously don't love everything about it- like stories I hear about how residents and med students are overworked sometimes. That's an obvious concern. But mostly I love the thinking aspect most out of everything.
I know how important thick skin is. Just because I don't have it doesn't mean I don't want to have it. But in my experience, level of criticism is typically inversely correlated with people's faith in you. So a natural response to criticism is to stop what I'm doing and think. I think I take it too far with the stopping and thinking, because I feel like I can never get a break from it.
I do maintain eye contact during interviews, I do smile, but sometimes the handshake doesn't happen organically and I do not want to force it. If it doesn't happen, then I make sure that it is firm. I don't know if I came off as offended, I tried to play it cool. In my head and upon recollection, I was certainly disappointed at his intolerance for seemingly irrelevant areas of research. I even tried to argue for its relevance to medicine, but was swiftly met with a look of smug disregard accompanied by a subtle headshake.
Thanks for the help! I will save the good luck for future use during my second interview.
 
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idiotface

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@idiotface

YayPudding's post did not read sarcastic at all and even if it did, you shouldn't judge a person's character based on a single post.

So then where was the recommendation? How is "Looks like we are done here" a recommendation? Seemed like Goro quoted something I said to make his point that I said something terribly wrong. It didn't seem like he was recommending me.
 

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I am reading all of this and thinking what many others have already commented, you do need help. Just because you know what your problems are, doesn't mean that removing yourself from the situation will fix it. Here's what I am seeing: you have a clear and severe lack of confidence, it comes off glaringly in every post. Trust me, you probably don't even notice it, but this self-deprecating behavior and the way you talk, you likely do that off the internet too and that definitely rubs people the wrong way, even if you're essentially crying out for help/attention and not intentionally doing so. A self-loathing personality does not warrant a lot of success as far as interpersonal relationships are concerned. You cannot take criticism at all, but instead get combative. Listen to what others are saying to you and remember we can only judge what we're given, but the way you write it also calls for its own judgment.

You asked earlier, "what is wrong with me?" in that post where you talked about interviews, shadowing, etc. Read your own post. You said you were texting while shadowing. You interviewed for jobs you didn't have the necessary credentials for (you're not PTCB certified, you can't be a pharmacy tech; your timelime didn't work for the scribe position; you were judged as unprofessional in the other interview). Not all of these issues are solely on you (I basically read there was a major miscommunication with the pharmacy thing and maybe they didn't have the job you were attempting to interview for available by this time..idk, just speculation), but many of them can be fixed, especially professionalism. Err on the side of caution for interview attire, leave your phone in the car or in your pocket, don't be fooling around with ID clips, and fudging your tutoring numbers is also unprofessional. Evaluate your own behavior, do you not see why all these things could cause problems for you? You know this, so fix it.

I am EXCELLENT at hiding my own personal demons, self-esteem nightmare, and mental health issues, but I know these behaviors when I see it. The way you talk just conveys all of this and talking to someone could help you better communicate and not come off as whiny and self-loathing. This is what rubs people the wrong way, I know because I deal with it too. At this point, though, I've owned up to it and I know it's my own behavior leading to the isolation I've found myself in. I had a terrible home life with a father I couldn't please, too. Getting out of there didn't fix a damn thing, as all the problems created all those years ago are still very present in my brain and shape my thinking. Your experiences have shaped yours as well, and you need to do something about it. (I am assuming you hold yourself to ridiculously high standards, correct?) Many of us are dealt terrible hands from the time we're born. It sucks, but it's life. You just gotta get through it somehow and perservere. Don't use it as a crutch to explain away anything, as it isn't an excuse. At the end of the day, your decisions are your own and the only person that can be held accountable is you. I really hope your situation improves, I know how bad it can be, but please just read what I've said and consider all of it before responding, if you choose to do so.

I am thinking @Goro was basically saying that you were beyond reasoning, that's why he said we're done here. You asked for advice, it was given and you got defensive. That's where it went wrong, your behavior again. Take all advice with a grain of salt, but don't get defensive and think the world is out to get you or criticizing you when you receive advice raw. Nobody on here is trying to outright insult you, please remember this. Sometimes the truth is ugly but sometimes you just need to hear it.

EDIT: PS - I received 4 post-interview rejections, so maybe I am not so great at hiding anything. Point being, I interview poorly.
 
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idiotface

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I am reading all of this and thinking what many others have already commented, you do need help. Just because you know what your problems are, doesn't mean that removing yourself from the situation will fix it. Here's what I am seeing: you have a clear and severe lack of confidence, it comes off glaringly in every post. Trust me, you probably don't even notice it, but this self-deprecating behavior and the way you talk, you likely do that off the internet too and that definitely rubs people the wrong way, even if you're essentially crying out for help/attention and not intentionally doing so. A self-loathing personality does not warrant a lot of success as far as interpersonal relationships are concerned. You cannot take criticism at all, but instead get combative. Listen to what others are saying to you and remember we can only judge what we're given, but the way you write it also calls for its own judgment.

You asked earlier, "what is wrong with me?" in that post where you talked about interviews, shadowing, etc. Read your own post. You said you were texting while shadowing. You interviewed for jobs you didn't have the necessary credentials for (you're not PTCB certified, you can't be a pharmacy tech; your timelime didn't work for the scribe position; you were judged as unprofessional in the other interview). Not all of these issues are solely on you (I basically read there was a major miscommunication with the pharmacy thing and maybe they didn't have the job you were attempting to interview for available by this time..idk, just speculation), but many of them can be fixed, especially professionalism. Err on the side of caution for interview attire, leave your phone in the car or in your pocket, don't be fooling around with ID clips, and fudging your tutoring numbers is also unprofessional. Evaluate your own behavior, do you not see why all these things could cause problems for you? You know this, so fix it.

I am EXCELLENT at hiding my own personal demons, self-esteem nightmare, and mental health issues, but I know these behaviors when I see it. The way you talk just conveys all of this and talking to someone could help you better communicate and not come off as whiny and self-loathing. This is what rubs people the wrong way, I know because I deal with it too. At this point, though, I've owned up to it and I know it's my own behavior leading to the isolation I've found myself in. I had a terrible home life with a father I couldn't please, too. Getting out of there didn't fix a damn thing, as all the problems created all those years ago are still very present in my brain and shape my thinking. Your experiences have shaped yours as well, and you need to do something about it. (I am assuming you hold yourself to ridiculously high standards, correct?) Many of us are dealt terrible hands from the time we're born. It sucks, but it's life. You just gotta get through it somehow and perservere. Don't use it as a crutch to explain away anything, as it isn't an excuse. At the end of the day, your decisions are your own and the only person that can be held accountable is you. I really hope your situation improves, I know how bad it can be, but please just read what I've said and consider all of it before responding, if you choose to do so.

I am thinking @Goro was basically saying that you were beyond reasoning, that's why he said we're done here. You asked for advice, it was given and you got defensive. That's where it went wrong, your behavior again. Take all advice with a grain of salt, but don't get defensive and think the world is out to get you or criticizing you when you receive advice raw. Nobody on here is trying to outright insult you, please remember this. Sometimes the truth is ugly but sometimes you just need to hear it.

EDIT: PS - I received 4 post-interview rejections, so maybe I am not so great at hiding anything. Point being, I interview poorly.

I think I misunderstood what Goro was saying. He was saying "We are done here" to my rejection of therapy not to my reasoning for being a doctor. I thought my reasoning for going into medicine was terribly flawed.
Self-loathing is an understatement.
That sucks about the post-interview rejections, but at least you eventually got in. I would be lucky to get 4 post-interview rejections because that would mean I would have gotten 4 interviews. Mind sharing your stats?
What no-one understands is that my neurosis pervades nearly every aspect of life and it slows me down or makes me ineffectual. What part of the MCAT is most sensitive to timekeeping? The verbal. This has been my greatest weakness. If I didnt have neurosis, maybe I would have gotten one or two points higher on the CARS. It was three points lower than my second-lowest score...so it was an obvious weakness. God I suck.
But it's weird because I'm revealing all these things that I almost never talk about to anyone. I may have talked about this with my mom maybe once, but never with my dad. One of my closer friends that I talked about in an earlier post knows about it. So I don't always use it as an excuse in normal conversation, however I do use it as an excuse within the confines of an internal monologue.
 
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Dude get some help - bleedy online blog posts suggests need for help. There's no shame in that most here have probably done it.
 
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ciestar

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I think I misunderstood what Goro was saying. He was saying "We are done here" to my rejection of therapy not to my reasoning for being a doctor. I thought my reasoning for going into medicine was terribly flawed.
Self-loathing is an understatement.
That sucks about the post-interview rejections, but at least you eventually got in. I would be lucky to get 4 post-interview rejections because that would mean I would have gotten 4 interviews. Mind sharing your stats?
What no-one understands is that my neurosis pervades nearly every aspect of life and it slows me down or makes me ineffectual. What part of the MCAT is most sensitive to timekeeping? The verbal. This has been my greatest weakness. If I didnt have neurosis, maybe I would have gotten one or two points higher on the CARS. It was three points lower than my second-lowest score...so it was an obvious weakness. God I suck.
But it's weird because I'm revealing all these things that I almost never talk about to anyone. I may have talked about this with my mom maybe once, but never with my dad. One of my closer friends that I talked about in an earlier post knows about it. So I don't always use it as an excuse in normal conversation, however I do use it as an excuse within the confines of an internal monologue.

Holding things in only makes it worse. You let your thoughts get the better of you and you beat yourself up over the smallest things. Dude, I get it, trust me. Saying things like "God I suck" is part of what I was pointing out earlier. I think it all the time. That's part of my big problem, it almost becomes like a mantra in a sense? You have to break that pattern of thinking, you'll only make yourself more miserable. I know you don't want to live life that way. That is why I pointed out counseling and why I think you could benefit from it. You'll probably always feel like you need to do "such and such" just to try and please your dad, but eventually, you need to be able to please yourself and only you. Be proud of what you've done and try not to get overwhelmed by the notion that you think your dad isn't satisfied and let that ruin successes you have.

It's also sometimes very difficult to discuss certain things with people who don't understand, whether it be admissions, MCAT, whatever. On here, you'll find people you can relate to and try to find answers for yourself that you might not have otherwise found. Neurosis is so common around here, but what makes a difference is what you do with it. I still struggle with it. I find myself being too much of a perfectionist and that bogs down my studying. I fall into bad, old patterns of not sleeping thinking that'll help and my (thankfully, tbh) average exam scores proves this does not work. You'll never know everything, and that's okay!

Oh, and my stats: 3.73c/3.79s/31 (11/8/12).
(Verbal got me too. I continue to struggle with time-management and I probably wasn't as prepared as I could have been for that section). Yes, I got 4 post-interview rejections and thankfully one school took a chance on me, but it breaks you. You get that, unfortunately. You start questioning everything and beat yourself up over it.
 
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idiotface

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Holding things in only makes it worse. You let your thoughts get the better of you and you beat yourself up over the smallest things. Dude, I get it, trust me. Saying things like "God I suck" is part of what I was pointing out earlier. I think it all the time. That's part of my big problem, it almost becomes like a mantra in a sense? You have to break that pattern of thinking, you'll only make yourself more miserable. I know you don't want to live life that way. That is why I pointed out counseling and why I think you could benefit from it. You'll probably always feel like you need to do "such and such" just to try and please your dad, but eventually, you need to be able to please yourself and only you. Be proud of what you've done and try not to get overwhelmed by the notion that you think your dad isn't satisfied and let that ruin successes you have.

It's also sometimes very difficult to discuss certain things with people who don't understand, whether it be admissions, MCAT, whatever. On here, you'll find people you can relate to and try to find answers for yourself that you might not have otherwise found. Neurosis is so common around here, but what makes a difference is what you do with it. I still struggle with it. I find myself being too much of a perfectionist and that bogs down my studying. I fall into bad, old patterns of not sleeping thinking that'll help and my (thankfully, tbh) average exam scores proves this does not work. You'll never know everything, and that's okay!

Oh, and my stats: 3.73c/3.79s/31 (11/8/12).
(Verbal got me too. I continue to struggle with time-management and I probably wasn't as prepared as I could have been for that section). Yes, I got 4 post-interview rejections and thankfully one school took a chance on me, but it breaks you. You get that, unfortunately. You start questioning everything and beat yourself up over it.

Thanks for being able to relate to me. Those were nice stats, congrats! Getting 5 II's is certainly an accomplishment. Does the verbal really break someone even if the overall score is ok?
 

idiotface

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Holding things in only makes it worse. You let your thoughts get the better of you and you beat yourself up over the smallest things. Dude, I get it, trust me. Saying things like "God I suck" is part of what I was pointing out earlier. I think it all the time. That's part of my big problem, it almost becomes like a mantra in a sense? You have to break that pattern of thinking, you'll only make yourself more miserable. I know you don't want to live life that way. That is why I pointed out counseling and why I think you could benefit from it. You'll probably always feel like you need to do "such and such" just to try and please your dad, but eventually, you need to be able to please yourself and only you. Be proud of what you've done and try not to get overwhelmed by the notion that you think your dad isn't satisfied and let that ruin successes you have.

It's also sometimes very difficult to discuss certain things with people who don't understand, whether it be admissions, MCAT, whatever. On here, you'll find people you can relate to and try to find answers for yourself that you might not have otherwise found. Neurosis is so common around here, but what makes a difference is what you do with it. I still struggle with it. I find myself being too much of a perfectionist and that bogs down my studying. I fall into bad, old patterns of not sleeping thinking that'll help and my (thankfully, tbh) average exam scores proves this does not work. You'll never know everything, and that's okay!

Oh, and my stats: 3.73c/3.79s/31 (11/8/12).
(Verbal got me too. I continue to struggle with time-management and I probably wasn't as prepared as I could have been for that section). Yes, I got 4 post-interview rejections and thankfully one school took a chance on me, but it breaks you. You get that, unfortunately. You start questioning everything and beat yourself up over it.

Do you remember the timeline of interview invites- not interview attendeds? Also, did you have your entire application complete (letters, primary, and secondary) at most schools before or after Labor Day? Thanks in advance.
 

ciestar

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Thanks for being able to relate to me. Those were nice stats, congrats! Getting 5 II's is certainly an accomplishment. Does the verbal really break someone even if the overall score is ok?

Do you remember the timeline of interview invites- not interview attendeds? Also, did you have your entire application complete (letters, primary, and secondary) at most schools before or after Labor Day? Thanks in advance.

The verbal score can break you, it just depends on how low it is. I know there's a consensus that more balanced MCAT scores are desirable, but clearly there are exceptions to that (as my score was a little lopsided). A low score in any subsection has the potential to do that, not just VR/CARS. I think on the old MCAT the borderline VR score was a 7. My 8 was around the 50th %tile.

And thank you!

Timeline roughly: first II was end of August? I got 4 more in September/early October. Received another in December, one in January, three more in February. (I withdrew my application from three of these, though). I got feedback at one school during my interview actually, and I was basically told she was advocating for me and basically that's how I got an II in the first place, she liked my story. All secondaries were in by July 31st, but my committee letter came a few days or so after that, so complete almost everywhere by like August 5th or so? I then applied to ten additional schools and was complete at all of them by early September, some took forever to send secondaries.

Feel free to message me if you'd like!
 
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ScottTenorman54

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Mental health issues aside for a moment, OP it seems like you haven't gotten any interview practice at all. Is that the case? Because that's a huge problem. Most people can't wing an interview well, including the social, non self-loathing ones. Practice practice practice. Begrudgingly dragging yourself to the prehealth advisor's office and analyzing the DO flop isn't nearly enough with those interviews in the near future. You've gotta start getting real feedback from different people, because otherwise all you have to go on is your own perception of your performance, which with your current mindset, is probably warped. Go to your school's career resource center for a generic mock job interview and ask for feedback. Ask those other people you hang out with about it. Maybe try the people that wrote your rec letters. How's your nonverbal communication, are your ideas getting through clearly, etc. The answer to your question is no, you won't get in with a terrible interview. But you can fix it! At least enough to get through these upcoming interviews.
 
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idiotface

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Mental health issues aside for a moment, OP it seems like you haven't gotten any interview practice at all. Is that the case? Because that's a huge problem. Most people can't wing an interview well, including the social, non self-loathing ones. Practice practice practice. Begrudgingly dragging yourself to the prehealth advisor's office and analyzing the DO flop isn't nearly enough with those interviews in the near future. You've gotta start getting real feedback from different people, because otherwise all you have to go on is your own perception of your performance, which with your current mindset, is probably warped. Go to your school's career resource center for a generic mock job interview and ask for feedback. Ask those other people you hang out with about it. Maybe try the people that wrote your rec letters. How's your nonverbal communication, are your ideas getting through clearly, etc. The answer to your question is no, you won't get in with a terrible interview. But you can fix it! At least enough to get through these upcoming interviews.

Yeah, I just recently contacted my premed advisor for mock interviews, lets hope that helps. I never thought about the career center; hmmm, good idea, Ill talk to them when I can. I don't have people I hang out with because no one likes me, but good try lol... You think the people that wrote my letters are going to give me mock interviews? Somehow, I doubt that. One of them was the person I did research with and he barely had time for me even when we were doing research. That's probably why my research sucked. If someone can't get in with a terrible interview, this means that a 40/4.0 that applies early, has amazing EC's, and applies broadly even to state schools, but has the personality of a brick, will never get in. That seems somehow unfair. Thanks, I'll try to fix it.
 

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I don't have people I hang out with because no one likes me, but good try lol

I was referring to those two people you mentioned were your friends - the ones with similar personalities as you. Any chance they could be trusted to give you an honest assessment of what kind of vibe you give off / mannerisms etc?
 

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I was referring to those two people you mentioned were your friends - the ones with similar personalities as you. Any chance they could be trusted to give you an honest assessment of what kind of vibe you give off / mannerisms etc?

No, I dont talk to one of them anymore. The other one moved away. Theyre not similar to me really, they just have similar weaknesses. I don't consider them similar to me to be honest. Anyway, the one I stopped talking to only has negative things to say about my personality. She always has been saying for a long time that my one problem for getting into med school was the interview. Any story I tell her about my troubles with people, she always puts full blame on me... without proper context or without my reasoning. She's the first to condemn my interactions with others. Basically, I get the idea that she thinks for me not to be bad with people, I should completely not talk and ask about things that I want to talk and ask about. I should basically suppress all my natural interests, intrigue, and inquiry... everything that makes me, well... me!
The other one who moved away is autistic and bad with people anyway. If he were to ever interview for med school, it would probably be exponentially worse than the worst anyone has ever seen.
I talked to someone about my problems today and he said I should stick with my parents despite our differences. I met this guy for the first time in my life and he said I seem hurried when I do things. He said I should calm down and do everything more slowly, also he said nobody's judging me. So the very way I do things give the impression that I think I'm being judged. Hmm.. interesting...
 
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I met this guy for the first time in my life and he said I seem hurried when I do things. He said I should calm down and do everything more slowly, also he said nobody's judging me. So the very way I do things give the impression that I think I'm being judged. Hmm.. interesting...

Yep, that external feedback can be good for finding these subtle things. Good start! Point taken with those other two, perhaps they wouldn't be the best source after all.
 

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Yep, that external feedback can be good for finding these subtle things. Good start! Point taken with those other two, perhaps they wouldn't be the best source after all.

Yeah, Im probably going to see him a lot. I started doing research at a med school today. Were reconstructing 3d images of hippocampal neurons, and looking at differences between granule cells and semilunar granule cells. That reminds me, I have to read some stuff about the hippocampus. I felt better today and I feel like I made a friend. Hopefully, I don't mess it up. Thanks!
 
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Alienman52

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hi im a premed. so heres the thing, everyone since the beginning of my life hates me and i was always bullied. I have a terrible relationship with my parents. my dad doesnt like me and my mom annoyed the crap out of me during my entire childhood. every interview (med school or job) has resulted in an eventual denial. my self-confidence is alarmingly low, and i question everything i think or do. However, I want to get out of my house and go to med school. I applied and I have two scheduled MD interviews. My question is Can I ever get into med school as a terrible interviewer. Can my other stuff on my profile make up for a terrible interview? Can I keep applying and building up my resume and eventually get in despite having terrible interview skills? Dont reply to me "If you have no social skills, then you are in the wrong profession." Truth of the matter is, every profession demands interaction with other people. I am hoping that when I get out of the house and get away from my family, I can use new independence to slowly regain some confidence in myself. Im not a bad or terrible person and I do want to be a doctor. Whatever I become, I want to be a nice person above all. So please dont think i have a toxic personality or anything. I just suck at life right now. One interview is traditional and the other is MMI. I am fully expecting to blow both of them and have to reapply and build a better resume to help me out. Does anyone know if people can get in with bad interviews?? Thanks in advance.

Why say you're going to have a bad interview? Just practice over and over and you'll be fine. Don't doubt what you're capable of.


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Yeah, Im probably going to see him a lot. I started doing research at a med school today. Were reconstructing 3d images of hippocampal neurons, and looking at differences between granule cells and semilunar granule cells. That reminds me, I have to read some stuff about the hippocampus. I felt better today and I feel like I made a friend. Hopefully, I don't mess it up. Thanks!

Hey man,

I understand why you're hesitant to seek out professional help, most people are at first. But a lot of your posts here read like therapy excerpts almost. It comes off like you have some emotional burdens you're looking to unload, and are doing so in some capacity on here. Anyway you can do that in a non hurtful manner such as on here is good! But I would strongly recommend you see a professional. I bet most of the people on here have in some way shape or form before.

Good luck man. And congrats on your interview invites.
 
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FCMike11

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Third was for a med scribe position. I told my interviewer that I was applying for med school and I could not devote at least a full year to the job. He told me that it would be a problem, but I didn't know the interview was off. I still arrived at the interview and he wasn't there so I called him and asked him where he was. I told him 10 months or so was nearly a year and still a good amount of time to dedicate to the job. He gave in and arrived at the interview. I don't really know what I did wrong. The only thing I imagine that was bad was that I didn't know that a CVA was a stroke. I knew it stood for cerebrovascular accident, and I know what a stroke is. I just never made the connection. He made me take a typing test and he said I type about as fast as him. I think it was about 60 wpm or so, but I don't think that was the problem. I improvised well and I thought I did a good job, but not so... I received the denial e-mail the following weekend.

You were never getting this job, doesn't matter what happens in the interview. "It will be a problem you can't work at least a year.". He should have been more clear but then you beg/force him (unclear) to interview you. Couldn't have made him more uncomfortable. You are showing a drastic lack in self-awareness.

There are ways to improve this. Ask close friends how you come off. Try to obtain feedback often. There are a lot of other things going on here, but, the part I quoted really stuck out to me.


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idiotface

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Why say you're going to have a bad interview? Just practice over and over and you'll be fine. Don't doubt what you're capable of.


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Thanks, I'm asking my pre-med advisor to schedule my mock interview. Then, I might contact my career development center for further practice. I have plenty of time until my second interview, which is the one that really matters. The first one is an OOS that over-interviews. Truth of the matter is there's hardly any chance I'll get into the med school that I'm interviewing for first. The second is instate and is a really nice med school in a nice local area. Coming into the application cycle, it was my number two priority and has since shifted to number one. Hopefully, MMI prep will go a long way here. And I hope I'm capable of it, we will see eventually.
 

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Hey man,

I understand why you're hesitant to seek out professional help, most people are at first. But a lot of your posts here read like therapy excerpts almost. It comes off like you have some emotional burdens you're looking to unload, and are doing so in some capacity on here. Anyway you can do that in a non hurtful manner such as on here is good! But I would strongly recommend you see a professional. I bet most of the people on here have in some way shape or form before.

Good luck man. And congrats on your interview invites.

Well, I just want to see if I can find a cause for my problems first and see if it's fixable. If the cause continues to elude me, I will seek professional help. But I mean, I've never even really been on my own before. I want to see how I will live when I start living for myself, without anyone asking me for help, or telling me to do things a certain way. I could have everything organized how I like, allocate my time how I'd like, and come and go as I please. That's one thing I want first- freedom.
 
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idiotface

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You were never getting this job, doesn't matter what happens in the interview. "It will be a problem you can't work at least a year.". He should have been more clear but then you beg/force him (unclear) to interview you. Couldn't have made him more uncomfortable. You are showing a drastic lack in self-awareness.

There are ways to improve this. Ask close friends how you come off. Try to obtain feedback often. There are a lot of other things going on here, but, the part I quoted really stuck out to me.


Sent from my Nexus 6P using SDN mobile

For someone who spends an awful lot of time over-analyzing everything I do and still lacks self-awareness, there is nothing I can do at this point. I'm already giving myself headaches over self-fixation. If I lack self-awareness, it's not because I don't care or I don't try. Also, I don't know if it's that I lack self-awareness as much as it is that I lack correct-behavior-awareness. I think that is what you are implying and this may be correct. As for begging him to do the interview, it was because I drove all the way there just to find that he hadn't shown up, which I thought was inexplicably unprofessional and unclear. He sent me an e-mail saying: "Hello, I need applicants to have two year part time availability or one year full time availability" before the interview, but did not say that the interview was off. To me, he initiated the lack of clarity in this situation. I don't really have any close friends, but I will obtain feedback whenever possible. And thanks, I would appreciate talking about the other other things that you mentioned.
 
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lakertodoc

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I didn't really read the whole thread but here are a few exercises that I use for interviews:

1) Think about 1-3 instances that you felt most successful, confident, or passionate - this could be after some test, or some social interaction, or winning a game, or sport. Really put yourself back in that moment and feel everything.

Now visualize yourself having that same confidence during your interview. Really visualize it. Like a movie. How would you act? How would you hold your body? What would be the expression on your face? Would your answers feel empty or would they have some backbone to them? Imagine the interviewer liking you and your answers the whole time.


2) Examine your limiting beliefs.

You seem to have this limiting belief that no one likes you. Is this really true or just something you are putting in your head that's isn't helping you? Is it changeable? Really think about this. Are you going to to try to change it or are you helpless? Do you really need to change much? Or are you just hard on yourself?


3) There are a few questions that are pretty much asked in every interview - if you feel confident answering these, then you'll find it easier getting into a groove. Think of 2-3 major points that you would have for each of those questions (Why do you want to become a doctor? What are your strengths/weaknesses? Tell me about a time where you went through hardship, etc. - you can look up these questions). Memorize those points and practice speaking on the fly about these subjects, and do so until you are happy with your answer 3 times in a row. Do this for each of those questions. Don't type up a script or anything just talk on the fly.

On the day of the interview, start practicing talking for 5-10 min to get warmed up. Doing all of this preparation will help you be more in the moment because you won't be scrambling for answers. Having to worry about confidence, memorizing scripts, and taking in all of the new stimuli from the interview takes a huge cognitive load. Do your best to alleviate all of that beforehand.

Like anything else, by putting in the work and having some resilience, you can improve on any skill. Keep learning about yourself and keep working on the programming of your mind. I believe you can do it.
 
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beachadventure

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I spoke to a few friends of mine who also were bad at interview skills and they were told to get help from Premed HQ, which they said had 100% success rate. Otherwise, I'd advise to check out interview preparation techniques online or have an interview coach who can help.
 

idiotface

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I didn't really read the whole thread but here are a few exercises that I use for interviews:

1) Think about 1-3 instances that you felt most successful, confident, or passionate - this could be after some test, or some social interaction, or winning a game, or sport. Really put yourself back in that moment and feel everything.

Now visualize yourself having that same confidence during your interview. Really visualize it. Like a movie. How would you act? How would you hold your body? What would be the expression on your face? Would your answers feel empty or would they have some backbone to them? Imagine the interviewer liking you and your answers the whole time.


2) Examine your limiting beliefs.

You seem to have this limiting belief that no one likes you. Is this really true or just something you are putting in your head that's isn't helping you? Is it changeable? Really think about this. Are you going to to try to change it or are you helpless? Do you really need to change much? Or are you just hard on yourself?


3) There are a few questions that are pretty much asked in every interview - if you feel confident answering these, then you'll find it easier getting into a groove. Think of 2-3 major points that you would have for each of those questions (Why do you want to become a doctor? What are your strengths/weaknesses? Tell me about a time where you went through hardship, etc. - you can look up these questions). Memorize those points and practice speaking on the fly about these subjects, and do so until you are happy with your answer 3 times in a row. Do this for each of those questions. Don't type up a script or anything just talk on the fly.

On the day of the interview, start practicing talking for 5-10 min to get warmed up. Doing all of this preparation will help you be more in the moment because you won't be scrambling for answers. Having to worry about confidence, memorizing scripts, and taking in all of the new stimuli from the interview takes a huge cognitive load. Do your best to alleviate all of that beforehand.

Like anything else, by putting in the work and having some resilience, you can improve on any skill. Keep learning about yourself and keep working on the programming of your mind. I believe you can do it.

Idk about the successful instances, as it hasn't happened in a while. I feel like my confidence in an interview means I'm doing bad, like Im too comfortable with my interviewer. So sometimes I feel like I should be less confident and more reserved and monotone.
I don't know, maybe it's not true. But I feel like the people who do like me are people that like everybody. And anyone reasonably picky about who they talk to never talk to me. So I feel like I'm at the bottom percentile of being liked. And I realize that these naturally sociable people are not really friends, they're just really charismatic. I also feel like at first I can start talking to people, then all of a sudden someone will stop talking to me or get frustrated or annoyed with what I said. I feel like people by default like to talk with one another and disagreements or fights are out of the norm. With me, I feel like people dislike me by default. Like with enough interaction, the relationship reaches a stable equilibrium where the other person starts to dislike me. It's like the conversation tends towards that way, like it's supposed to. Like one interaction that really sticks out in my mind was with a teacher I had in high school who I like to talk about science with. I thought he was really smart and I had a lot of respect for him and I guess I might have talked to him too much. At one point, I think I asked if he could adopt me so I could discuss math and physics with him and learn more from him. His reply was something along the lines of that wouldn't work because you're so annoying that I'd have to kill you. I don't think he was joking.
Yeah, I know that there are certain questions that are asked at every interview. I definitely plan on reviewing and preparing answers for those. I never thought about just talking to myself out loud to practice answering these questions. That would feel kind of awkward, but I guess I can try it.
On the day of the interview, I may not have anyone to talk to, so I guess I could try talking out loud to myself for preparation.
Thanks for believing in me.
 

idiotface

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I spoke to a few friends of mine who also were bad at interview skills and they were told to get help from Premed HQ, which they said had 100% success rate. Otherwise, I'd advise to check out interview preparation techniques online or have an interview coach who can help.

Sure, I'll try Premed HQ. I don't want to try anything that costs money, though, so interview coaching outside of my premed committee and career development center may be out of the question.
 

bears1992

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I don't feel bad during the interview, but the results are bad. I can reflect on my interview experience. First one was at a DO med school and I thought that I had connected with my interviewer. I wore a suit and all, but you know some of the fatal flaws of a med school interview that they talk about? I feel like I may have had some of them. Firstly, I went blank when he asked me why I wanted to be a doctor. I did this because he started writing as soon as I started talking and so I thought I said something wrong. After he talked and I became comfortable, I was able to answer the question. Unfortunately, one of the reasons I provided was that my father got me interested in medicine. It may have easily been misconstrued as I'm applying only because of my dad. I listed some other reasons on top of that. I thought we connected in that his father also told him to apply to med school. We also connected in that we both wanted to do pro sports and thought we could be good enough. All in all, he spent most of the time persecuting me for my lack of EC involvement and criticizing the nature of my research and lack of biology/medical research. I thought he should appreciate all fields of research equally, so this quickly turned me off to the school. I spent the whole time with one other interviewee, who I thought was boring and robotic. The irony is that he probably got accepted and I didn't. I ended up getting waitlisted and later withdrew.
Second was for a pharmacy receptionist position, or so I thought... I got to the interview and they told me it was for pharmacy tech when I told them that it was for the receptionist position as stated in the newspaper listings. They knew I wasn't certified for the pharmacy tech position so the interview was REALLY short and they ended up essentially ignoring me.
Third was for a med scribe position. I told my interviewer that I was applying for med school and I could not devote at least a full year to the job. He told me that it would be a problem, but I didn't know the interview was off. I still arrived at the interview and he wasn't there so I called him and asked him where he was. I told him 10 months or so was nearly a year and still a good amount of time to dedicate to the job. He gave in and arrived at the interview. I don't really know what I did wrong. The only thing I imagine that was bad was that I didn't know that a CVA was a stroke. I knew it stood for cerebrovascular accident, and I know what a stroke is. I just never made the connection. He made me take a typing test and he said I type about as fast as him. I think it was about 60 wpm or so, but I don't think that was the problem. I improvised well and I thought I did a good job, but not so... I received the denial e-mail the following weekend.
Fourth was for another med scribe position. I didn't wear a suit, but I didn't think it was necessary. I dressed semi-formal with what I thought was more creative and unique than the cliche suit-and-tie. Also, I didn't bring my resume thinking that they would have it. I thought I did well in the interview and I thought I had quite a bit to offer. Once again, I received a denial e-mail. I promptly reached out to my interviewer and pretty much begged for feedback. She said it was because I didn't have a suit and tie, I didn't bring my resume, and the other applicants had more to offer...
But what's more devastating to my morale is having applied to nearly 40 positions and not hearing back from so many of them. I know there may be correctable mistakes or bad luck involved, but no matter what, recurrent failure is always confidence-draining.
And what's worse is that I tend to get on people's bad side. Like when I shadowed a doctor once, I thought it was okay to bring out my phone to text and that wasn't exactly well-received. Or the fact that I volunteered at a hospital and I was pretend-shooting ID clips into the bin. I like basketball, sue me... I also got in a bit of trouble as a tutor because I gave someone credit for multiple tutoring sessions and so I was allegedly promoting "cramming."
And the list goes on and on and essentially it's a pattern of inappropriate behavior that seems to be giving a bad impression. If it's not one thing, it's the other. When I stop doing one abrasive thing, then I start doing another. It goes back as far as I can remember. Like in middle school, when people walked by my desk, I would try to trip them then laugh about it. Also, in my math classes, I would go to sleep and the teacher would throw chalk at me to wake me up. What is wrong with me? What if I never become personable? Forget about being a doctor, I may end up being homeless because any job requires you to get along with others. Even a cashier has to get along with the supervisor. Trust me, I worked as one before and it sucks! So in other words I suck. Is there hope or no? But yeah I'll look at the resource you posted. Thanks.
I'm applying this summer and while I'm a longshot even for DO school, I'm a nontrad who has been threw more than a few job interviews. I sucked at interviews. I would shake and stutter and just blank on easy questions. I would start answering a question and forgot what the question was halfway through. I always came off as a nervous wreck. I haven't had a med school interview yet so I can only relate to interviews in general but the key is confidence. Do mock interviews with your parents or a friend. You can even do medical school mock interviews online via skype (they usually run around 45-60 bucks each). I know this isn't the right flavor of advice for this forum, but do mock interviews with people that will give you positive comments. Half of the interview if just looking and sounding confident (hey, even a false sense of confidence is miles better than no confidence). The other half of the interview is just getting good at answering off the wall questions. Every interview I have ever had as at least a few questions that you would never think to prepare for. Just have a 7 or 8 bullets memorized and work one of them into each question. Mock interviews will give you confidence. Any good (mock) interviewer will give you critiques but instill confidence in you.
 

FCMike11

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I generally interview well. But I have a decent conversational, probably 75% rehearsed answer for why medicine (also why DO). It REALLY helps your interview tone and helps to relax if you can come out with a nice, composed, cohesive answer. Practiced it a lot with my wife, mirror etc.

@bears1992

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idiotface

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I'm applying this summer and while I'm a longshot even for DO school, I'm a nontrad who has been threw more than a few job interviews. I sucked at interviews. I would shake and stutter and just blank on easy questions. I would start answering a question and forgot what the question was halfway through. I always came off as a nervous wreck. I haven't had a med school interview yet so I can only relate to interviews in general but the key is confidence. Do mock interviews with your parents or a friend. You can even do medical school mock interviews online via skype (they usually run around 45-60 bucks each). I know this isn't the right flavor of advice for this forum, but do mock interviews with people that will give you positive comments. Half of the interview if just looking and sounding confident (hey, even a false sense of confidence is miles better than no confidence). The other half of the interview is just getting good at answering off the wall questions. Every interview I have ever had as at least a few questions that you would never think to prepare for. Just have a 7 or 8 bullets memorized and work one of them into each question. Mock interviews will give you confidence. Any good (mock) interviewer will give you critiques but instill confidence in you.

Yeah Ive realized that as well. Each interview gives me something I'm not prepared for. Yeah, I'm working on getting mock interviews scheduled which reminds me I also have to contact the Career development center. The mock interviewer I will have is not someone that has really given me confidence in the two times that I applied.
 

idiotface

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I generally interview well. But I have a decent conversational, probably 75% rehearsed answer for why medicine (also why DO). It REALLY helps your interview tone and helps to relax if you can come out with a nice, composed, cohesive answer. Practiced it a lot with my wife, mirror etc.

@bears1992

Sent from my Nexus 6P using SDN mobile

Ok, I will prepare an answer for why medicine. I have already thought about this. Thanks.
 

idiotface

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Just received my first post-interview rejection...
 
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