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Horrible interview skills

Discussion in 'Re-Applicants [ MD / DO ]' started by idiotface, Dec 31, 2016.

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  1. siliso

    Physician 7+ Year Member

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    What question are you referring to? The one I answered, about how to respond to “what’s your greatest weakness?” That’s a normal question that doesn’t raise any red flags. My overall advice to you is based on your overall presentation of yourself and your difficulties over the whole course of this thread starting on page 1.
     
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  3. idiotface

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    Oh okay. Fair enough. Like I have said, I don't really feel like I am living my own life being under constant watch by my parents. I feel like I need some sort of sanctuary, since I never had an emotional support system. Right now, I am stuck in close quarters all the time with my dad or I am in public with others. I just want to see what happens when I finally get that sanctuary and I will re-evaluate. To me, I consider it an anomaly. Like you have to put an asterisk on this part of my life because it is so abnormal. If I feel like there are still problems, I will seek help. Heck, Ill start exercising, meditating, doing yoga, or whatever it takes. But, I wont have to secondhand smoke because of my dad, I can be weird and rap and dance and yell if I want, I can be free from my dad's constant whining, complaining, judgment, and negativity, and I can have a more organized work setting. I can actually start living. It wont be that easy, of course, because my dad said he is going to visit me every week to do my laundry, cooking, and cleaning because I am so useless that I cant do that. But if it werent for med school, it wouldnt be clear at all if I could ever live by myself. That creep wants to watch me all day long and hear everything Im doing and bother me all day long despite the fact that he doesnt like me and hates to speak English. He is stressing himself out to stress me out. My happiness is his kryptonite. One time, we dug up an old video that my mom recorded when I was like a baby. I was happy and jumping around and playing and he was absolutely stonefaced and cold just like he's always been. And my mom wonders why she kicked him out. He has no soul. I dont do anything around him, I dont talk on the phone, I dont type on my laptop, I dont show any emotion. Wouldnt want to upset him...
     
  4. idiotface

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    Hmm, that felt good to say, maybe I should try therapy and I can say it more
     
  5. siliso

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    I hear you and I can’t quite imagine the complex interaction of parental pathology and cultural discordance that you’ve experienced. But you have experienced it for ?25ish years and it’s not so likely that all the effects will evaporate in a new environment. You know your situation best, but would still suggest to have a very low threshold to seek diagnostic evaluation and supports through your school the very instant that any continuing difficulty is affecting your social/emotional adjustment or school performance.

    No desire to insult or harm you by the way, the opposite in fact. I want you to do well and achieve your goals. And also going back to something you said before - people with ASDs aren’t antisocial (or mean or dumb or incapable of empathy or any other negative) just have variant neuro wiring that can require some different handling for success.
     
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  6. narla_hotep

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    I don't think this thread is really about interviews anymore...

    Idk if that's serious or sarcastic, but if it's serious you're on the right track. Once you do get into med school, if it's a halfway decent med school they should place an emphasis on mental health and general wellness. With the high suicide rate among physicians, they're realizing that they need to start early to teach good habits and deal with potential psychological problems. One of the things they're doing is trying to normalize seeking help, and honestly a lot people I know at my school are seeing either a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor. I've actually gotten a first appointment set up myself in a few weeks, trying to deal with the anxiety that's been plaguing me since like forever.

    In response to something you said earlier I do think, or at least hope, that dealing with those issues will make you and me better clinicians. It's rather hard to focus on the patient's concerns when all you're concerned about is if you sound dumb or are doing the physical wrong or what the patient and your attending are thinking about you. Makes you seem distant and raises the possibility of missing something in the diagnosis...
     
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  7. Perfectionst

    Perfectionst SDN Gold Donor
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    I hope this is real and you’re feeling a little freer. In therapy, you would be able to share your thoughts in a safe, nonjudgmental space (much better than SDN) and give yourself the opportunity to re-work the wiring in a healthier, happier way. Medical school is a new outlet for you but it can be a soul-sucking experience...I think that’s what people want to warn you about. Have you heard of repetition compulsion? You think you’re starting over, but you can end up re-creating the same prison that you were trying so hard to leave.

    Therapy is an excellent way to work towards real change. I hope you go for it. You’re obviously so much more than your neuroses - look how many people have responded to you. Take your strengths - your (written) verbal skills, intelligence, perseverence, etc. - and lead with them. Ditch some of the stubbornness. Best wishes to you!
     
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  8. sammiesings

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    Got to the bottom of the thread. I'm really excited for you to try therapy lol. I think it's really going to help ya
     
  9. DubbiDoctor

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    Read through all 8 pages. One of the more interesting threads on SDN. Makes me want to consider specializing in psych.
     
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  10. idiotface

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    Final results
    Past cycle: 6 interviews, 1 acceptance
    Past three cycles: 12 interviews, 1 acceptance
    I withdrew and am headed for public health. I felt utterly disgraced at the outcome.The one acceptance I got came despite arriving an hour late and being asked a single question during the interview. It didn't feel like a real acceptance. This is why AAMC (and AACOM) should try doing this so that it doesn't have to waste applicants' years. Make a standardized interview assessment that is intended to be taken prior to application. It may be conducted at prometric centers or designated locations by AAMC-trained interviewers. The assessment should be scored and released to the applicant. It is made to be part of the primary AMCAS application. You can retake it, if you'd like, but you are limited to the number of retakes in a given year. It is not meant to be substituted for a personal interview conducted by the school, but meant to be a part of the application for use in judging whether someone should receive an interview.
    Anyway, thanks for the support from some of the people here. Yes, applying to med school was an abysmal failure. I was limited to one of the most expensive private schools. My intangible shortcomings hurt any good metrics that I had. I feel like I might as well have been a normal person applying with a 27 and 3.4. Anybody think I should continue to update this thread? Anybody think I should continue to pursue medical school? Or just settle for something else?
     
  11. mindlight1

    mindlight1 SDN Gold Donor
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    I am baffled... you rejected a medical school because the interviewer threw you an easy pitch? Why would you want to make this process harder on yourself? It reminds me of that Groucho Marx saying, "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." I think you're shooting yourself in the foot here.
     
  12. bedizen

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    w h a t
     
  13. idiotface

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    Well, I want to have some dignity. This school has a high attrition rate and students get thrown out easily with little remediation and few second chances. They have an insane tuition with little to no aid. It seems less like a school and more like a racket.

    The absolutely horrendous application results also tell me something. Maybe these schools see something that I don't. Every school that took the time to interview me rendered an unfavorable decision. Maybe I am just not ready.

    And yes, I don't want to take anything that's easy. I want to feel like I deserve what I get.

    Lastly, I don't want to have something that I don't like stuck to my name for the rest of my life. I still don't know who I am or what I can be and I want to start being independent before I make decisions that will cement my path in life. Maybe it's for real and nothing will change. Maybe I can come out of my shell. I'm going to find out.

    What sucks is that I'll never find out if this thread was used against me in the applications process. It was just so terrible that it makes me feel like it could've been. For example, I called into one school post-interview and they told me I was on high-priority wait list and I would be accepted as soon as a spot opened up for me. It never happened and I got rejected. I went onto SDN and read that the school went through their entire high-priority wait list, so it seems like something changed. Anyway, I have two schools left to obtain feedback from. One of the schools gave me incoherent feedback that was all over the place and didn't even seem consistent with my application. And they did it in an e-mail and wouldn't spend the time with me on the phone. Another suspicious occurrence...

    Anyway, I'm devastated and I feel a negative reaction whenever I think or hear about or see something related to med school. My in-state DO that I reapplied to didn't even want to take me.
     
  14. idiotface

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    One-question interview and hour-late arrival followed by acceptance is the real "w h a t"
     
  15. mindlight1

    mindlight1 SDN Gold Donor
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    This is what I am hearing. I understand the issues you have with the school, but at the end of the day it would have made you an American trained doctor with plenty of opportunities. But you have to really want it and see the bigger picture. I hope you can let in the fact that you did gain an acceptance...that is a major accomplishment. Best wishes to you in figuring out the next steps.
     
  16. TheRealCookieMonster

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  17. idiotface

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    I did want it, I applied 3 cycles. But I was never truly sold on DO. Nevertheless, I applied to give myself the best chance of getting in. I don't want to settle for subpar things anymore. I was always the one who had less friends, less cool things, less nice clothes, worse at sports, etc. I couldn't find normal friends so I went to a trailer park a town over for years just to hang out with a bunch of fake people who lace each other's blunts. Outside of the trailer park, one person I hung out with was fake and ended up murdering a girl. All the others were friendships with fake people that didn't last more than a few months.
    But even for academics, I went to a subpar undergrad institution. And academics is supposed to be my thing. I hate it. I don't want everything to be subpar all the time. Why do I have to settle for the only type of degree program I've ever heard of that was made to hold a lower standard than the original comparable degree program at the most expensive institution with the least amount of resources, support, and opportunities? I just wanted one nice thing: an MD degree. Separated family? Fine. Ugly small apartment? Fine. Bullying every day of my life for the first 17 years? Fine. Both parents mentally and physically disabled? Fine. An ex-girlfriend who was Indian and didn't want to be seen with me in public and didn't want her family to know about me? Fine. A friend who gets upset every time I know something that he doesn't? Fine. But just one nice thing that can liberate and validate me. Something that can redeem me. If I tell someone from my high school, I am doing DO, they're going to stare and say "what?"
    "Oh yeah, it's for being a doctor, except it's not like MD, I couldn't get into MD school."
    Normal people don't know what DO is. There's an element of personal redemption with everything I do. Why? Because it's what I want. And nobody can tell me it's not as true or legitimate as another motivation. After all, it is a motivation, nonetheless.
     
  18. idiotface

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    I am not a troll. You don't know me. If you don't like it, go elsewhere.
     
  19. ccrose

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    If you're a troll (which I think you are), you're really disrespecting the people who actually suffer with mental health issues and anxiety, as well as the people on this forum who have taken your words in good faith and tried to brainstorm ideas that could make you realize your true worth and potential.

    If you're not a troll, you come across as super ableist, racist (Indian gf who was ashamed of you?! unnecessary detail) and classist (future cashier?! I'm sorry that you think that everyone who does that job is a stupid moron and have no understanding of class dynamics in the US)--none of these are excusable even for someone who suffers with anxiety. Anxiety, depression, issues of self esteem are not an excuse for you to sound like as entitled and vile as you do here. Seriously, look inward for your problems. You sound like a total [insert choice term here] and this whole thread is a disservice to people with social anxiety and mental health that are looking for interviewing support.
     
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  20. gyngyn

    gyngyn Professor
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    Closing.
     
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