How bad is it, really? Past grief, multiple withdrawals, and stressing out.

[lodo.owl]

Hey all, kind of a long background story here but would absolutely love and appreciate any honest feedback and advice.

Early 20s. Biracial female (African-American and French/Dutch). Currently I’m a sophomore at a state school. Started my freshman year with a 3.9, started scribing part time in an urban ER and still am. Joined an honors society and volunteered here and there. Everything was going very well until my boyfriend of several years committed suicide over winter break between Fall and Spring semester of Freshman year.

Fortunately, I hadn’t had lost anyone close to me before, but unfortunately, I had no idea how to grieve healthily. Majorly neglected my mental/emotional health and tried to put grief/emotions into a schedule (can you say type A?) leading to a pretty inevitable academic demise. I completed my Spring semester as a part time student with a 3.9 and a W. Retook the class over the summer with a B and my GPA dropped to a 3.82. Fall semester multiple events that correlated with my boyfriend’s previous suicide surfaced, took another W. Finished with a 3.31. Needless to say, it was not a good year. I reached out to the school’s student support resources and eventually found an external therapist who I still see. I finally learned to feel my emotions, but it was a delayed release.

This Spring semester, I am finishing with a 4.0 for the semester and am applying for administrative withdrawal for last semester, which my adviser expresses is likely to swing in my favor and will shoot my GPA back up to a 3.8. Because of my part time status, I am planning on taking an extra year with my degree.

This year, I am constructing my own major that incorporates healthcare administration business classes, pre-med sciences, 2 years of French, undecided senior medical internship, and holistic medicine. Over the summer, I will be committing to long term volunteering tutoring underserved kids in English, and am planning to start research next summer until the end of my degree (about 2 years by graduation). I will also be a teachers assistant next year in either a Statistics class or Anatomy class.

In addition to my ER scribing (which has honestly been the only thing that has kept me sane throughout all of this insanity, currently with 800+ hours) I will be shadowing the plastic surgeon who removed a congenital melanocytic nevus from my leg in 2013 (under local anesthetic, observing two procedures were my “aha” moments for wanting to study medicine). I will not be taking the MCAT until two years from now as I pushed my graduation back a year.

Questions:

Chiefly, how badly did I screw my application over with my year of multiple W’s, and with my administrative withdrawals? My current top schools are in the East Coast, predominately NY (Columbia, Yale, Cornell, also considering NYiT Osteopathic in Long Island, among others MD and DO).

Are there any other steps I can take to remedy my situation that you suggest? And do you see anything crucial missing from my application that I should incorporate within the coming years?

Thank you so much! x

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[Woe_is_me23]

From my viewpoint, you did not screw yourself over. You clearly have the academic chops and there is a very clear reason that you started to struggle. If you can maintain a high GPA for the remainder of your undergrad and slay the MCAT I think you will also slay admission to med school. That said, some ADCOMS might have serious concerns, and so having reliably good academic performance from here on out will be important in showing that you’ve made an emotional recovery and that you can handle stress again.

On a separate note, I’m really sorry for your loss <3

 

[deleted889094]

Given your circumstances, I think you've done pretty spectacularly. Like the above, if you get a good MCAT, I like your chances for med school

 

[lodo.owl]

From my viewpoint, you did not screw yourself over. You clearly have the academic chops and there is a very clear reason that you started to struggle. If you can maintain a high GPA for the remainder of your undergrad and slay the MCAT I think you will also slay admission to med school. That said, some ADCOMS might have serious concerns, and so having reliably good academic performance from here on out will be important in showing that you’ve made an emotional recovery and that you can handle stress again.

On a separate note, I’m really sorry for your loss <3

Thank you, I so appreciate this and your kind words. I have definitely improved my stress-handling methods lol. A lot of my dream schools are top-tier, do you think that this puts a damper on my app in regards to those?

 

[lodo.owl]

Given your circumstances, I think you've done pretty spectacularly. Like the above, if you get a good MCAT, I like your chances for med school

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that, I've had this cloud of dread over me for a bit because I felt like I completely screwed up.

Reiterating what I replied above: A lot of my dream schools are top-tier, do you think that this puts a damper on my app in regards to those? In regards to the MCAT, plan on taking the summer off from classes to study extensively and continuing on with multiple practice tests, don't want to sound naive/"like a pre-med" but I'm confident in my abilities to hunker down and focus and feel that I will do well.

 

[Woe_is_me23]

Thank you, I so appreciate this and your kind words. I have definitely improved my stress-handling methods lol. A lot of my dream schools are top-tier, do you think that this puts a damper on my app in regards to those?

Of course. And hmm— I’m honestly not sure. I frankly think it is too early for anyone to hypothesize on your odds for those. If someone did, they’d be full of hot air in my opinion.

For now, it sounds like you’re doing the right things, and URM will help you. That said, you’ll need to finish strong with your GPA and get a great MCAT score. If those things happen, I think you’ll have as reasonable a shot as anyone can have for one of those ~top~ schools.

 

[lodo.owl]

Of course. And hmm— I’m honestly not sure. I frankly think it is too early for anyone to hypothesize on your odds for those. If someone did, they’d be full of hot air in my opinion.

For now, it sounds like you’re doing the right things, and URM will help you. That said, you’ll need to finish strong with your GPA and get a great MCAT score. If those things happen, I think you’ll have as reasonable a shot as anyone can have for one of those ~top~ schools.

That makes a ton of sense. Guess we'll have to wait and see how the MCAT turns out. Thanks so much!

 

[deleted889094]

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that, I've had this cloud of dread over me for a bit because I felt like I completely screwed up.

Reiterating what I replied above: A lot of my dream schools are top-tier, do you think that this puts a damper on my app in regards to those? In regards to the MCAT, plan on taking the summer off from classes to study extensively and continuing on with multiple practice tests, don't want to sound naive/"like a pre-med" but I'm confident in my abilities to hunker down and focus and feel that I will do well.

I couldn't answer that as I don't really know too well. But I want to challenge you to be open to not just top-tier schools. In the end, you can get into whatever field you want if you do well. And you might discover other schools you actually like more during the interview cycle. I certainly had my #1 school change over the course of the interview season.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

You used the withdrawal system for its intended prurpose. There’s nothing wrong with your situation at all provided you have a good gpa when you graduate and have the rest of your app in order.
This shouldn’t be a hinderance to you getting into med school but, I strongly suggest you don’t apply until you are over your loss. You do not want the stress of med school aggravating that situation.

 

[AlphaDoctor]

I medically withdrew from my first semester in college and had 2 other Ws in college. I applied late this cycle and had 4 interviews.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

You’ll be fine. You had a good reason, and that’s really what Ws are for. You learned about grieving and prioritizing your wellness, etc.

I’m sorry for your loss, but your chances at med school are not going to be hindered by your Ws.

And anecdotally, I had over 20 Ws, mostly for stupid reasons, and got multiple acceptances.

 

[1uhbedoc]

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that, I've had this cloud of dread over me for a bit because I felt like I completely screwed up.

Reiterating what I replied above: A lot of my dream schools are top-tier, do you think that this puts a damper on my app in regards to those? In regards to the MCAT, plan on taking the summer off from classes to study extensively and continuing on with multiple practice tests, don't want to sound naive/"like a pre-med" but I'm confident in my abilities to hunker down and focus and feel that I will do well.

Many of us feel this way. The MCAT is a whole different ball game haha. However I don't think that bump in the road will really slow you down much. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. I think that's a huge thing ADCOMs look for and even something that came up during the interview. No one is perfect and you seem to be handling this as well as one can expect. Just keep your grades up and don't overextend yourself in too many EC activities. Best of luck!

 

[lodo.owl]

You used the withdrawal system for its intended prurpose. There’s nothing wrong with your situation at all provided you have a good gpa when you graduate and have the rest of your app in order.
This shouldn’t be a hinderance to you getting into med school but, I strongly suggest you don’t apply until you are over your loss. You do not want the stress of med school aggravating that situation.

I agree, but I honestly don't think that I will ever be over my loss, more just figuring how to manage it in a balanced and realistic manner. This Spring has been full of emotional nights, but the difference is I let them happen and worked myself through them. Besides that last year I was part-time, adding an extra year onto my degree has helped tremendously with managing workload and mental health time this semester.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

You’ll always miss him, someday soon it will always hurt. But you seem well on your way.
Just remember medicine is a brutal high stress career with long hours and life or death decisions.
Sure, once you are an attending you might find a practice with a nice quality of life but during med school and residency you will be put through the ringer

 

[pooppooppoop]

I agree with the above posters and think it sounds like you have been handling everything very well given the circumstances. I just wanted to post to say that if you want to reach out to me about navigating grief and the med school process you are welcome to shoot me a PM. I applied this past cycle shortly following the suicide of my best friend and I have found it can be nice to have someone to talk to who has had a similar experience. You are welcome to PM me / shoot my any questions if you'd like.

 

[lodo.owl]

I agree with the above posters and think it sounds like you have been handling everything very well given the circumstances. I just wanted to post to say that if you want to reach out to me about navigating grief and the med school process you are welcome to shoot me a PM. I applied this past cycle shortly following the suicide of my best friend and I have found it can be nice to have someone to talk to who has had a similar experience. You are welcome to PM me / shoot my any questions if you'd like.

Thank you, it's nice to know there are others out there with similar experiences (although I wish no one had to endure it and I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend) + the stressors of pre-med/MCAT/med school/etc. I have your post bookmarked in case and I'd like to offer the same open door to you <3