I didn’t put my career on hold for 15 years for my husband, I did it because I valued my children having a stay at home mom until they were all in school and more independent. I was in college when we married, and when I found out we were having our son I wanted to stay at home with him...then we had a few more.
I could have finished school alongside him, hired babysitters and nannys with student loan money, and we would have been a power couple in our 30s, but that’s not what I wanted, and he supported my decision to stay home. I got to thoroughly enjoy them when they were little, and I returned to school when I was ready.
I disagree that our most productive years are behind us...I would say that if anything our years moving forward have more earning potential than any we’ve had in the past, and because our children will be grown when I finish school, we’ll have the freedom to work or travel wherever we want without having to think about good school districts, extracurricular activities, etc.
I was in no way saying that partners should take decades long turns achieving their goals, that’s just how it worked out for us. And for 15+ years, being a full time mom HAS been my “career“, and I don’t regret it one bit. I’m now working on my second career. I was simply saying that in order for any relationship to work in any industry, medicine included, you must have compromise.