RANT HERE thread

Started by flyhi
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HorseObsessed said:
Since we’re a big bacteria lab, we have a separate room in the basement where I do my cell culture, so I get to turn on music and line dance while my cells are centrifuging/ trypsinizing
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Having my headphones in all day is the ONLY perk of my lab job lol

I genuinely miss my old job where I would be doing electroretinographies on rats all day and I’d just live in the dark with my phone and kindle in their red cellophane bags. It was so relaxing lol. Coworkers called me queen of blood and darkness because I was best at rabbit phlebotomy and ergs haha
 
A local event venue with gardens and beautiful mountain views is hosting a Mother's Day high afternoon tea event. Guess how much tickets are?! $4,100 for a table of 8 persons. I may as well make my own shortbreads and cakes and sammies and brew my own tea and call it good.
 
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JaynaAli said:
$4100 is a very ugly number and not easily divisible by 8. Why not $4000 or $4400. We can create a cheaper alternative event and charge half and still make great money. I wonder what in the world costs that much? Is it for charity?!
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Right?! The description says: 10am-Noon, wear a fancy outfit and a big hat if you wish, cakes and pastries will be served. No indication of charity, not indication of anything extraordinary! I’m in shock 😂 we don’t live close to the city either, we live in a rural rodeo and wheat town!
 
cardamom23 said:
A local event venue with gardens and beautiful mountain views is hosting a Mother's Day high afternoon tea event. Guess how much tickets are?! $4,100 for a table of 8 persons. I may as well make my own shortbreads and cakes and sammies and brew my own tea and call it good.
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For 4.1k I expect them to revive the queen herself and have her personally brew and serve you tea.
 
i thought i was getting better coming to terms with axel’s diagnosis but idk why i’m freaking myself out over the worst possible scenarios. i didn’t think this was something i’d have to navigate right now. the fact that i have to wait until tuesday for his surgery and then longer to get histopath results is eating my alive. i keep making myself physically sick thinking about this. he is supposed to come camping this summer and explore the state with his family, he is supposed to see me through vet school, he is supposed to eat the goldfish crackers off the floor when i drop them, he is supposed to kick me in the middle of the night because he is running so damn fast in his sleep.

he is supposed to be here for a long while longer, and even if there is a small possibility he won’t, is killing me. he’s the first dog i’ve ever truly cared for on my own. my world revolves around him. i plan my days around him. everything i do is for him. i cant imagine going through the next four years without him. now i’m freaking myself out by thinking back to all the times he’s ever been ill and convincing myself he was sick all along. i need to sleep, but i can’t because i’m torturing myself thinking that this time next week he may not be here.

i hate this and i wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. this is actual hell
 
vampyrica said:
i thought i was getting better coming to terms with axel’s diagnosis but idk why i’m freaking myself out over the worst possible scenarios. i didn’t think this was something i’d have to navigate right now. the fact that i have to wait until tuesday for his surgery and then longer to get histopath results is eating my alive. i keep making myself physically sick thinking about this. he is supposed to come camping this summer and explore the state with his family, he is supposed to see me through vet school, he is supposed to eat the goldfish crackers off the floor when i drop them, he is supposed to kick me in the middle of the night because he is running so damn fast in his sleep.

he is supposed to be here for a long while longer, and even if there is a small possibility he won’t, is killing me. he’s the first dog i’ve ever truly cared for on my own. my world revolves around him. i plan my days around him. everything i do is for him. i cant imagine going through the next four years without him. now i’m freaking myself out by thinking back to all the times he’s ever been ill and convincing myself he was sick all along. i need to sleep, but i can’t because i’m torturing myself thinking that this time next week he may not be here.

i hate this and i wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. this is actual hell
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Please please please keep in mind that Mct is the most common skin cancer for dogs and the majority are cured with surgery. Something like 65-70%. Even if he is a grade 3/high grade, he will still be here next week. Even the week after that. And the week after that. There are options.

Don't go into this cycle of anticipatory grief before you have to. I did that with my Golden for **6 months**. It affected me at work, in my marriage, as a mom. It was part of the root of a huge fight with my husband that blew up. It was horrible.

Yes, your guy has cancer. But you also have options beyond surgery, pending how it turns out. This is not an immediate death sentence and you need to work through that cause you need to take care of yourself.
 
battie said:
Please please please keep in mind that Mct is the most common skin cancer for dogs and the majority are cured with surgery. Something like 65-70%. Even if he is a grade 3/high grade, he will still be here next week. Even the week after that. And the week after that. There are options.

Don't go into this cycle of anticipatory grief before you have to. I did that with my Golden for **6 months**. It affected me at work, in my marriage, as a mom. It was part of the root of a huge fight with my husband that blew up. It was horrible.

Yes, your guy has cancer. But you also have options beyond surgery, pending how it turns out. This is not an immediate death sentence and you need to work through that cause you need to take care of yourself.
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i know, i’m trying to hold out hope that’s going to be one of the majority and that everything is gonna be fine and that there’s no other lumps. but now i’m borderline gaslighting myself into thinking his skin tags, and warts and moles are all connected and that he’s just riddled with it.

i’m feeling all his lymph nodes and gaslighting myself that something is there. we’re going in to get pre-op bloodwork done today and i have a list of like 30 questions to ask the doctor. the weather is pretty gross today so no fun walk at the park, but we’ll spend the day together and get ready for my partner’s visit this weekend. i’ll have the chance to go out and be normal. tuesday is gonna suck though ugh.
 
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vampyrica said:
i know, i’m trying to hold out hope that’s going to be one of the majority and that everything is gonna be fine and that there’s no other lumps. but now i’m borderline gaslighting myself into thinking his skin tags, and warts and moles are all connected and that he’s just riddled with it.

i’m feeling all his lymph nodes and gaslighting myself that something is there. we’re going in to get pre-op bloodwork done today and i have a list of like 30 questions to ask the doctor. the weather is pretty gross today so no fun walk at the park, but we’ll spend the day together and get ready for my partner’s visit this weekend. i’ll have the chance to go out and be normal. tuesday is gonna suck though ugh.
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Part of it is actively trying not to be your dog's doctor. It's hard when we know what we know. But when you have the intrusive medical thoughts, you just have to either literally or figuratively back away. Stop palpating things. Stop looking things up. Drug yourself to sleep. Etc.

This is one of those things where you have to actively be a normal person rather than a veterinary person.

I'm with you on surgery. I can't even be in the same building. My pittie has had both knees and her MCT surgeries. The golden had a splenectomy. I wasn't anywhere near the hospitals they were having surgery.
 
vampyrica said:
i thought i was getting better coming to terms with axel’s diagnosis but idk why i’m freaking myself out over the worst possible scenarios. i didn’t think this was something i’d have to navigate right now. the fact that i have to wait until tuesday for his surgery and then longer to get histopath results is eating my alive. i keep making myself physically sick thinking about this. he is supposed to come camping this summer and explore the state with his family, he is supposed to see me through vet school, he is supposed to eat the goldfish crackers off the floor when i drop them, he is supposed to kick me in the middle of the night because he is running so damn fast in his sleep.

he is supposed to be here for a long while longer, and even if there is a small possibility he won’t, is killing me. he’s the first dog i’ve ever truly cared for on my own. my world revolves around him. i plan my days around him. everything i do is for him. i cant imagine going through the next four years without him. now i’m freaking myself out by thinking back to all the times he’s ever been ill and convincing myself he was sick all along. i need to sleep, but i can’t because i’m torturing myself thinking that this time next week he may not be here.

i hate this and i wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. this is actual hell
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I really, really hope he will do all these things with you. It sounds like his chances are fantastic! I’m wishing the very very best for him. I also hope you have some strategies to manage your stress in this difficult moment!
 
i know continuing to vent here isn't helping anything, and i'm sorry to put all of this emotion out on people on the internet. you guys feel like the only people in the world who can relate to this situation right now and understand what's going on in my head. i know using my medical brain is doing more harm than good, i just cant help but feel like i've failed him. i take him to the vet 20x a year. just in the 10 months we've been in colorado, he's been to the vet 14 times. i give him his medications, i check his body for new lumps and bumps all the time, i trialed him on diets because he couldn't go two weeks without diarrhea. i thought i did everything right, i don't understand how i could have or why i ignored this lump and passed it off as a lipoma. i guess i subconsiously thought "it cant be my dog, there's no way it could happen to my dog", which is just poor mentality.

i can't bare not knowing what's going on inside his body. his bloodwork in december was unremarkable, same with october, and his abdominal ultrasound was clean in october. i'm gonna make an appt with the cvm counselors because i can't eat or sleep or do anything without thinking of him and how he's feeling and if he's hurting anywhere.

i really appreciate everyone trying to calm me down, and being supportive and encouraging. i feel less alone
 
vampyrica said:
i check his body for new lumps and bumps all the time, i trialed him on diets because he couldn't go two weeks without diarrhea. i thought i did everything right, i don't understand how i could have or why i ignored this lump and passed it off as a lipoma.
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MCTs are one of those things where when an owner comes in and says “it didn’t look like that a day ago!”, we believe them. They’re notorious for coming and going, getting angry, and completely disappearing even when the vet saw it at the last visit. It’s very hard to monitor something that sometimes seems to have its own free will.
 
vampyrica said:
'm sorry to put all of this emotion out on people on the internet.
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Don't be sorry when you didn't do anything wrong. If we didn't want to be involved, we'd just scroll past.

vampyrica said:
i just cant help but feel like i've failed him
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How so? You literally cannot prevent MCT in put bulls. It's likely got a genetic component. It is what it is.

vampyrica said:
i thought i did everything right, i don't understand how i could have or why i ignored this lump and passed it off as a lipoma
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I mean. Full grown doctors do this literally every day.

vampyrica said:
his bloodwork in december was unremarkable, same with october, and his abdominal ultrasound was clean in october.
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This is a good sign!

vampyrica said:
i'm gonna make an appt with the cvm counselors because i can't eat or sleep or do anything without thinking of him and how he's feeling and if he's hurting anywhere.
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You absolutely need to do this cause your spiral here is unhealthy and doesn't help you or him. He is very unlikely to be feeling anything negative because he has a 65%+ chance this is a skin tumor alone.
 
_rae_ said:
No one warned me before I got Invisalign that I would have 12 anchors on my top teeth (plus two additional rubber band hooks on my canines) and four more anchors on my bottom teeth.

I feel like sharkboy.
View attachment 417847
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Less funny rant on this: it took two hours to get my attachments on, some took multiple tries. While I was still in the clinic, I lost an attachment on one of my back molars and the orthodontist said he wasn't worried about it. When I got home, I lost an attachment on one of my canines, which we unfortunately do care about. So now I have to go back Monday and get a new one put on.

Eating is excruciating right now. The constant pressure on my teeth, the rubber band hooks catching on the inside of my lip every single time I chew, and food gets stuck everywhere. I'm actively avoiding eating, which as someone who has a not so great relationship with food and also eats to handle my own emotions, is distressing. I'm currently feeling intense regret, and as if everyone made this seem like no big deal when I feel I was not at all prepared for the reality.
 
_rae_ said:
Less funny rant on this: it took two hours to get my attachments on, some took multiple tries. While I was still in the clinic, I lost an attachment on one of my back molars and the orthodontist said he wasn't worried about it. When I got home, I lost an attachment on one of my canines, which we unfortunately do care about. So now I have to go back Monday and get a new one put on.

Eating is excruciating right now. The constant pressure on my teeth, the rubber band hooks catching on the inside of my lip every single time I chew, and food gets stuck everywhere. I'm actively avoiding eating, which as someone who has a not so great relationship with food and also eats to handle my own emotions, is distressing. I'm currently feeling intense regret, and as if everyone made this seem like no big deal when I feel I was not at all prepared for the reality.
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I'm sorry, that's really frustrating. I feel like the first few months with braces were the worst for me. It does get better imo
 
vampyrica said:
i know continuing to vent here isn't helping anything, and i'm sorry to put all of this emotion out on people on the internet. you guys feel like the only people in the world who can relate to this situation right now and understand what's going on in my head. i know using my medical brain is doing more harm than good, i just cant help but feel like i've failed him. i take him to the vet 20x a year. just in the 10 months we've been in colorado, he's been to the vet 14 times. i give him his medications, i check his body for new lumps and bumps all the time, i trialed him on diets because he couldn't go two weeks without diarrhea. i thought i did everything right, i don't understand how i could have or why i ignored this lump and passed it off as a lipoma. i guess i subconsiously thought "it cant be my dog, there's no way it could happen to my dog", which is just poor mentality.

i can't bare not knowing what's going on inside his body. his bloodwork in december was unremarkable, same with october, and his abdominal ultrasound was clean in october. i'm gonna make an appt with the cvm counselors because i can't eat or sleep or do anything without thinking of him and how he's feeling and if he's hurting anywhere.

i really appreciate everyone trying to calm me down, and being supportive and encouraging. i feel less alone
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Please don’t be hard on yourself over this. I passed off my old guys amelanotic melanoma as “probably another hemangioma” as he has actinic dermatitis and it wasn’t.

You noticed it was changing and sought further care. That’s more than 90% of pet owners do right there.
 
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The lack of professionalism from some of my classmates is wild. I’m constantly side eyeing some of their comments that they think are funny but are actually really weird to say out loud.

For example, who the heck thinks it’s appropriate to ask if a farmer has any single sons because they built a 1.5 million dollar barn or ask if they could be sold at an auction to find a husband.
 
My class has pass/fail quizzes on a weekly basis except that you can submit corrections so instead of a a 0 you can get a 70. I missed the deadline for corrections though so just an instant 5% off of my final grade since it counts like a zero 😢.

I wasn’t even procrastinating on it or anything. I just completely forgot and did not look on my planner that particular day it was due. No exceptions for late things either which I get but ouch.
 
Pardon my French, but what the actual ****?
badgerherald.com

UW Veterinary Medicine lab employee arrested, charged after attempting to poison coworker

A University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine staff scientist was charged with second degree recklessly endangering safety and tampering with household products after lacing a coworker’s water bottle April 4 and contaminating the victim’s shoes April 6 with chemicals from the Influenza...
badgerherald.com
 
mkg323 said:
Pardon my French, but what the actual ****?
badgerherald.com

UW Veterinary Medicine lab employee arrested, charged after attempting to poison coworker

A University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine staff scientist was charged with second degree recklessly endangering safety and tampering with household products after lacing a coworker’s water bottle April 4 and contaminating the victim’s shoes April 6 with chemicals from the Influenza...
badgerherald.com
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I saw this on my news app yesterday. All I have to say is that, if he had to use chatgpt to learn how to make poison, as a scientist, that explains why he was being passed on for promotions.
 
mkg323 said:
Pardon my French, but what the actual ****?
badgerherald.com

UW Veterinary Medicine lab employee arrested, charged after attempting to poison coworker

A University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine staff scientist was charged with second degree recklessly endangering safety and tampering with household products after lacing a coworker’s water bottle April 4 and contaminating the victim’s shoes April 6 with chemicals from the Influenza...
badgerherald.com
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CHLOROFORM IN THE WATER BOTTLE BROOOO. ppl really be crazy out there
 
_rae_ said:
I want to. Spouse is not thrilled with wifi connect cameras in the house, which I get and also am not thrilled about.
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(i moved it here so we dont clog the thread)

that's valid too, i think they can be sketch. but they definitely help give peace of mind. i always turn mine off/unplug them when i'm not home and only keep them on when axel is truly home alone. i also have like the cheapest one possible so that may pose a small security risk, but my partner is going to build a firewall (is that what its called?) so we can have a more secure wifi.
 
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vampyrica said:
(i moved it here so we dont clog the thread)

that's valid too, i think they can be sketch. but they definitely help give peace of mind. i always turn mine off/unplug them when i'm not home and only keep them on when axel is truly home alone. i also have like the cheapest one possible so that may pose a small security risk, but my partner is going to build a firewall (is that what its called?) so we can have a more secure wifi.
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Yeah, my old roommate is also a computer science person and had something called a "raspberry pi" that allows for much stronger data security. There's also some cameras it looks like that allow storage on an SD card so they never need to be connected to the internet. Downside we wouldn't know right away if she had a seizure, but upside is we can easily look at that day's data if we see evidence she had one.
 
Genuinely not sure how I’m gonna thug out another month and some change at my stupid lab job until I move for school. Ever since the competent person/aspiring med student quit (who one of the bosses treated as a slave) because she was done with it all, this one lady who is laughably insecure has tried to make me her new bullying target. Jokes on her, that does NOT work on me. But it gets exhausting having someone trying to tell you that you’re doing something wrong when you are following protocols given by lab animal medicine staff. And now this lady is apparently incapable of communicating. Tell me why I just got an email from one of the other bosses saying that the order of our behavioral runs needs to be changed due to HER schedule. Like fine and dandy idc cause I don’t have 8 hours worth of work to do anyways, but why couldn’t she be the one to tell me that? Is it so hard? Like sorry, I will not be tolerating your nonsense. I am doing my job, no more no less, and if you want me to change something to better fit your schedule, you need to have appropriate competence of communication.

At least it’s Friday.
 
kitzsuna said:
Genuinely not sure how I’m gonna thug out another month and some change at my stupid lab job
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Hot take, quit. Even if it makes money a little tight, you’ll be way happier and can focus on gradually packing. My last day was like 7/14 or something but because of the sick time I accrued, I only worked like twice a week my last few weeks.
 
_rae_ said:
Hot take, quit. Even if it makes money a little tight, you’ll be way happier and can focus on gradually packing. My last day was like 7/14 or something but because of the sick time I accrued, I only worked like twice a week my last few weeks.
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This is what I did. Was tired of my ****ty job and quit in May. Worked like 10 hours a week as a naturalist until I moved and had the time of my life
 
_rae_ said:
Hot take, quit. Even if it makes money a little tight, you’ll be way happier and can focus on gradually packing. My last day was like 7/14 or something but because of the sick time I accrued, I only worked like twice a week my last few weeks.
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Unfortunately I’m unwilling to use my savings for rent when like I literally don’t need to. I’ve been in much worse jobs (yay for building resilience!) so like it’ll be fine in the end. Thankfully I’m planning on quitting like the second week of June and then I will have a vacation for a bit over a week before packing and moving starts.

It’s just frustrating in the mean time, but the positive is that I have zero emotional investment in this job. Only like 6 weeks to go

Honestly it’s a miracle I’ve lasted here as long as I have. I knew 2 weeks in I did not enjoy the work that was being done, and it’s unfortunate the people make that worse to deal with lol. But we are near the end
 
_rae_ said:
Hot take, quit. Even if it makes money a little tight, you’ll be way happier and can focus on gradually packing. My last day was like 7/14 or something but because of the sick time I accrued, I only worked like twice a week my last few weeks.
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Also yes, I absolutely am making sure I am using up all my time haha. The poor girl that quit lost a lot of money through unused time (and she already worked overtime for free as well) and best believe that ain’t happened to me.

IMG_6118.jpeg
 
kitzsuna said:
Unfortunately I’m unwilling to use my savings for rent when like I literally don’t need to. I’ve been in much worse jobs (yay for building resilience!) so like it’ll be fine in the end. Thankfully I’m planning on quitting like the second week of June and then I will have a vacation for a bit over a week before packing and moving starts.

It’s just frustrating in the mean time, but the positive is that I have zero emotional investment in this job. Only like 6 weeks to go

Honestly it’s a miracle I’ve lasted here as long as I have. I knew 2 weeks in I did not enjoy the work that was being done, and it’s unfortunate the people make that worse to deal with lol. But we are near the end
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hey, I totally get what you think. Hanging on for the money but so out of it emotionally/mentally. Trust that you're making the right decision. everything will be over soon and you can start on what you really want soon!
 
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I almost quit last week because of a series of very rude emails, but then my boss went back to being nice. Science can be so toxic. I don’t tolerate it. If you need to quit, It’s prime dog sitting season so I’m sure you can find a little work. Or tutor for high school finals! My clients always ask for extra hours this time of year.
 
I quit my lab job 2 weeks earlier than I wanted to, because it was becoming such a negative environment post my acceptance announcement. I'm so glad I did because I was then able to pack my belongings in peace and not have to do it in the middle of the night after work. I was able to travel a little, spend time with my friends and family and feel wayyyy more confident in my move prior to making the drive.

10/10 would recommend
 
HorseObsessed said:
I almost quit last week because of a series of very rude emails, but then my boss went back to being nice. Science can be so toxic. I don’t tolerate it. If you need to quit, It’s prime dog sitting season so I’m sure you can find a little work. Or tutor for high school finals! My clients always ask for extra hours this time of year.
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vampyrica said:
I quit my lab job 2 weeks earlier than I wanted to, because it was becoming such a negative environment post my acceptance announcement. I'm so glad I did because I was then able to pack my belongings in peace and not have to do it in the middle of the night after work. I was able to travel a little, spend time with my friends and family and feel wayyyy more confident in my move prior to making the drive.

10/10 would recommend
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What is it with labs being toxic af???

Tbh I’m so excited that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, I get to do one more 70.3 before school starts, then I get to go visit my friend who I haven’t seen in over 5 years, and then I get to start the adventure of packing and moving and starting a new life and new career. It’s honestly all so exciting and finally feels right. So just gotta put up for a little more nonsense until the party starts
 
honeypot999 said:
I hate that I cry when I get frustrated. Its so embarrasing during rounds when I mess up and start crying. Like I'm just mad that I didn't piece together the case properly
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Oh same here. I get so frustrated when I can’t do something right the first time, which I know is silly but I will definitely have to work on it when I am in school.

Best of luck with your rounds 🫂
 
_rae_ said:
Welp, just got home and found Olive in a post-ictal looking state. Hind end is soaked and there’s a puddle of pee on the floor. Last time this happened was January. I guess we’re going to neurology.
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Update: our GP doc said it’s probably about time to go to neuro. Very grateful for insurance and for already hitting our deductible with ER visits.
 
kitzsuna said:
Oh same here. I get so frustrated when I can’t do something right the first time, which I know is silly but I will definitely have to work on it when I am in school.

Best of luck with your rounds 🫂
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I’ve been getting better at swallowing it down. But it sucks when you felt good about your case presentation only to get destroyed on it
 
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