RANT HERE thread

Veterinary Science Graduate Certificate from UofI
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cheathac said:
So I've been dating this guy and it's going amazing so far. He treats me like a princess and makes me so happy. He's met my parents so far one time. They seem to be ok with the relationship and want to get to know him more. I was with my aunt and uncle yesterday and they were asking questions that made me want to pull my hair out and scream. They have yet to meet him. He's studying cybersecurity and is from Africa. He's on a student visa here in the US. The first thing they said was why would they have undocumented illegals working on our cybersecurity? I proceeded to leave the table and cry in a bathroom. They asked things like does he speak English? I'm like no we communicate by pointing to things! Make fun of his last name, the fact that he has an English and African name. They go on to say yeah you definitely can't be thinking of marriage at this point (it's a new relationship and I agree), but they proceed to tell me that biracial kids get made fun of in school. Makes total sense to don't think about marriage to having kids with him. They tell me that he could have alterior motives for dating me (green card) which is at the back of my mind because of the logistics of the situation but I don't feel as if this is a scam and time will tell anyways. He doesn't give me any red flags of that sort. Finally they're like if he makes you happy we will come to love him. Like I'm not going to choose between me and my family but sheesh at least give the guy a chance before you start ridiculing him. Sometimes I'm like should I still go through with this with it being so hard, but I know he's worth it and a great guy so I hope they come to accept in him the end. Great place to rant. Thanks!
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I know a lot of people say 'I will never choose someone over my family' but in some situations, it's 100% warranted. I get the relationship is fairly new so you're not feeling very compelled to make that decision yet, but they're clearly giving you their BS opinions (about someone they've never even met!) in a very passive aggressive way. People like this won't magically change their tune as your relationship progresses despite them saying "We will come to love him."
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DVMDream said:
Hang in there! I just recently turned 30 and I'm single, you aren't alone. I also understand the homesickness. We're all here for you! :)
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Make that three in the 30ish and single club. Maybe we need a group chat support group :p
 
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Not 30, but I just turned 26 a few weeks ago and legitimately haven't been in a relationship since all the way back in middle school. I've basically accepted that I am pretty much perpetually single at this point, but I do feel really lonely a lot of the time. I understand.
 
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Thanks for the reassurance everyone! There’s only so much support I can get from my best friends (one married and one in a serious relationship for 4 years) and a sister who has been with her boyfriend for 10 years (and is younger than me). No matter what they say, they can’t truly understand how I feel.
 
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lilylilac said:
Thanks for the reassurance everyone! There’s only so much support I can get from my best friends (one married and one in a serious relationship for 4 years) and a sister who has been with her boyfriend for 10 years (and is younger than me). No matter what they say, they can’t truly understand how I feel.
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My rl friend group is comprised completely of married people. I know those feels. I'm a perpetual 3rd* wheel whenever we get together.



*or 5th or 7th or whatever. I'm the odd wheel. :p
 
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Also, every female in my family has married (and/or had a kid) by 24. I just turned 25, and I feel somewhat accomplished to be the single, completely unattached woman I am today. That's how I'm looking at it, anyway. :cool: I'm making history!
 
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PrincessButterCup said:
My rl friend group is comprised completely of married people. I know those feels. I'm a perpetual 3rd* wheel whenever we get together.



*or 5th or 7th or whatever. I'm the odd wheel. :p
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Same. And my two closest friends in this area are having babies within a month of each other and the whole thing makes me want to hurl sometimes.
 
I took my dog to meet my future vet school roommate’s dog for the first time yesterday. He’s lived with other dogs his entire life and I take him to dog parks/dog beaches on the regular. But for some reason he chose to not get along with her dog, at their first meetup he lunged and growled at him:/ I’m sooo upset about this and wasn’t expecting it at all, he’s never done something like that before. I know he was stressed from a long car ride and being in a new place, but I can’t help but think that it’s never gonna work and that they’ll have to be separated all the time:( when we move in I plan on getting a behaviorist to come and help us out though. Just praying that it works and this was all because of the stress of traveling:/
 
pinkpuppy9 said:
I know a lot of people say 'I will never choose someone over my family' but in some situations, it's 100% warranted. I get the relationship is fairly new so you're not feeling very compelled to make that decision yet, but they're clearly giving you their BS opinions (about someone they've never even met!) in a very passive aggressive way. People like this won't magically change their tune as your relationship progresses despite them saying "We will come to love him."
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Thanks for this! I hope they change their minds once they actually meet him in person. I feel better that it is my aunt and uncle thinking this way vs my parents. Their opinions matter to me but if they're not liking him just because he's black or because he's different from me culturally that won't fly with me. My parents just want me to take things slow and have accepted the relationship so far which makes me feel better and really brings me closer to my parents.
 
Recently came to the realization that my current workplace is a toxic environment :( I finally decided that it's best for me to resign from my position, but since it's so late in the season I know that I won't be able to get another summer job for the last few weeks before vet school starts. I just wish I had seen all the red flags sooner...
 
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DRider13 said:
Recently came to the realization that my current workplace is a toxic environment :( I finally decided that it's best for me to resign from my position, but since it's so late in the season I know that I won't be able to get another summer job for the last few weeks before vet school starts. I just wish I had seen all the red flags sooner...
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Good for you for realizing that there WERE red flags and getting yourself out of there!!!
 
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DRider13 said:
Recently came to the realization that my current workplace is a toxic environment :( I finally decided that it's best for me to resign from my position, but since it's so late in the season I know that I won't be able to get another summer job for the last few weeks before vet school starts. I just wish I had seen all the red flags sooner...
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I wish we had a way to tell people about the toxic clinics as techs. "Don't work at Blankery Blank clinic if you have boobs!" "Don't work at Hard Pressed Hospital if you value work life balance!" "This doctor actually is a danger to animals and staff and his girlfriend warned techs he expressed warnings that he may consider murder-suicide..." (seriously bad crap)

But, that doesn't mean most of the clinics are bad for clients or for certain staff. So I don't want places openly bashed. But I could totally warn against certain clinics if I know people were looking at them.
 
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LadyOtheFarm said:
I wish we had a way to tell people about the toxic clinics as techs. "Don't work at Blankery Blank clinic if you have boobs!" "Don't work at Hard Pressed Hospital if you value work life balance!" "This doctor actually is a danger to animals and staff and his girlfriend warned techs he expressed warnings that he may consider murder-suicide..." (seriously bad crap)

But, that doesn't mean most of the clinics are bad for clients or for certain staff. So I don't want places openly bashed. But I could totally warn against certain clinics if I know people were looking at them.
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Given that you used to work in my area I almost feel like you should message me your warnings lololol
 
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LadyOtheFarm said:
I wish we had a way to tell people about the toxic clinics as techs. "Don't work at Blankery Blank clinic if you have boobs!" "Don't work at Hard Pressed Hospital if you value work life balance!" "This doctor actually is a danger to animals and staff and his girlfriend warned techs he expressed warnings that he may consider murder-suicide..." (seriously bad crap)

But, that doesn't mean most of the clinics are bad for clients or for certain staff. So I don't want places openly bashed. But I could totally warn against certain clinics if I know people were looking at them.
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I should have realized right away when someone told me in the first week that "every summer student has quit before actually finishing the summer."
 
Do non-toxic small animal hospitals exist? I'm 2 for 2 so far.

And I'm never working in another one again, so I'll never find out. :p
 
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PrincessButterCup said:
Do non-toxic small animal hospitals exist? I'm 2 for 2 so far.

And I'm never working in another one again, so I'll never find out. :p
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:nod:
My first place was pretty great. Older clinic so didn't have all the fancy toys, and the pay wasn't great compared to some other places (granted assistants did less there), but it was a lovely place to work.
 
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PrincessButterCup said:
Do non-toxic small animal hospitals exist? I'm 2 for 2 so far.

And I'm never working in another one again, so I'll never find out. :p
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WildZoo said:
:nod:
My first place was pretty great. Older clinic so didn't have all the fancy toys, and the pay wasn't great compared to some other places (granted assistants did less there), but it was a lovely place to work.
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I really like the clinic I work at, but it's also the city shelter so a very different set up from a typical small animal GP clinic. That being said I do think non-toxic clinics are out there, but it can be difficult to spot toxic clinics when you're a student applying for jobs (not to mention, I'm positive toxic places are looking for new help much more frequently than non-toxic places are due to high turnover)
 
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DRider13 said:
Recently came to the realization that my current workplace is a toxic environment :( I finally decided that it's best for me to resign from my position, but since it's so late in the season I know that I won't be able to get another summer job for the last few weeks before vet school starts. I just wish I had seen all the red flags sooner...
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VACATION.

Plus it means you can come hang out with me and go birding once I get there ;)
 
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Well PBC used to work at the one away from you I would warn people about.
 
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My place at times has been super toxic, and I suspect it will get like that again in the very near future which is why I am relieved to be getting out now. The last 8 months has been decent.

I have no interest in working for a tiny husband and wife run practice again, and although I adore my boss and we are on good terms I am happy my last day is coming up.
 
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TheGirlWithTheFernTattoo said:
My place at times has been super toxic, and I suspect it will get like that again in the very near future which is why I am relieved to be getting out now. The last 8 months has been decent.

I have no interest in working for a tiny husband and wife run practice again, and although I adore my boss and we are on good terms I am happy my last day is coming up.
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I have the opposite experience haha. The tiny husband wife practice I shadow at is amazing and the only thing that makes me consider small aninal practice when I'm so set on large animal. Guess it just shows every practice is individual (unless corp, obviously)
 
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LadyOtheFarm said:
Well PBC used to work at the one away from you I would warn people about.
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I have no idea what's going to happen there. Boss Lady isn't practicing anymore (!!!), but she has yet to hire another associate so the clinic only has one PT vet right now. She's leaving for vacation and they'll be without a doctor for almost a month. Boos Lady is still the owner, so I'd warn people away just for that reason . . .
 
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SARdoghandler said:
I have the opposite experience haha. The tiny husband wife practice I shadow at is amazing and the only thing that makes me consider small aninal practice when I'm so set on large animal. Guess it just shows every practice is individual (unless corp, obviously)
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Even the corporate practices are all different. I've had good experiences at some and horrible experiences at others, at all depends on the people who are employed at the clinic.
 
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DVMDream said:
Even the corporate practices are all different. I've had good experiences at some and horrible experiences at others, at all depends on the people who are employed at the clinic.
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Yup was about to say this exact same thing
 
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So I got out of a toxic place last summer, it was my first vet assistant job and I made it the whole summer but the wife of the owner/head vet was the manager so she was giving me a hard time about leaving. Because she wanted me to continue working after I went back to school, bc she thought i was closer but my school was an hour and a half away. So I quit right before school, tried to be amicable and offer to work holidays if they needed me. Never got a call. Thought I was free, so this summer I decided to shadow my actual vet’s practice, we don’t go as often anymore and I really liked him. Turns out a few months before I started coming the head vet from the other place decided to start controlling this vet, (bc he was friends with my vet and owned a piece of the practice but I thought my vet had the controlling amount.) by sending the office manager from that place to ours and now that toxic environment I left I now get to experience everytime I go in. :)))))))) oh and officer manager lady is related to wife of the head vet at the other place :lol:
 
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PrincessButterCup said:
Do non-toxic small animal hospitals exist? I'm 2 for 2 so far.

And I'm never working in another one again, so I'll never find out. :p
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Yes they doooo
I worked at the clinic I shadowed at for over two years AND my family’s pets have been going there since the early 2000s, so I got real lucky. One girl was going on maternity leave so they needed extra help for the days she’d be gone and then once she was back they still kept me for the two busier days of the week.
 
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WeimMama said:
Just found out that this little blip of a freckle I had biopsied off my dog’s eyelid read out as “probable epitheliotrophic t-cell lymphoma.” So that’s wonderful. The dumb thing is that none of the presentation or signs seem to fit her and the freckle has been there for years which does not seem to fit with the reported MST for that neoplasia. I’m vascillating between completely freaking out and just being like *none of this makes sense and it can’t be right*. Ugh.
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So the PARR testing came back with no clonal expansion. This seemed like a good thing but since its only 80% specific theres still a 20% chance it is some type of cutaneous lymphoma. Oncology is still treating her like she 100% does have the disease and she was fully staged yesterday with no evidence of mets anywhere.

Merp.
 
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DRider13 said:
Recently came to the realization that my current workplace is a toxic environment :( I finally decided that it's best for me to resign from my position, but since it's so late in the season I know that I won't be able to get another summer job for the last few weeks before vet school starts. I just wish I had seen all the red flags sooner...
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Update: there was a huge breach of my personal confidentiality at work today, so now I've gotta go file a report to HR... :arghh: I just want to get the heck outta here.
 
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Elkhart said:
Not really anything specific, but I'm just feeling super down tonight. Feeling like a failure at everything and like I'm trapped by my six figures worth of debt from vet school with nothing to show for it. Hopeless that I'll ever be able to have any real semblance of future financial security despite enjoying my job on the whole... it's not sustainable. Feeling like I'm a leech and a burden on everyone, especially my parents.

Meh.
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I am also a leech and burden on my parents. You're not alone. ;)

Are you still planning to go back to school and get into programming? (iirc?) Would that salary put you closer to the average GP salary? I think the key here is having manageable goals to keep from feeling discouraged over your debt burden.

Goal #1: find a good job (accomplished!)

Goal #2: think about long term employment goals (what will make you happy) and earning goals (how much do you need to save for loan repayment)

If you were working as a vet, you'd have even more debt than you do now and you'd be making (let's say) the average new grad salary. How do those ratios compare (current debt: income to the debt: income you would have expected after vet school)? If you can work towards bringing that first ratio closer to the second, your debt might feel like less of an impossible burden. Depending on what you decide to do with your career, your earning potential could very possibly exceed what is average for vets. You'll have debt for a long time but you really are making progress towards a good future. Hang in there.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. :(
 
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Elkhart said:
Not really anything specific, but I'm just feeling super down tonight. Feeling like a failure at everything and like I'm trapped by my six figures worth of debt from vet school with nothing to show for it. Hopeless that I'll ever be able to have any real semblance of future financial security despite enjoying my job on the whole... it's not sustainable. Feeling like I'm a leech and a burden on everyone, especially my parents.

Meh.
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I'm a leech on my in laws. Love your way.

I just took a job that will make me happier but pays 1/2 to a 1/3 of what I ought to make. And until we move closer, is a 2 hour commute each way.

We'll both figure it out. Somehow.
 
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The new chief vet at my current externship is making everyone pronounce cocci and bacilli as 'coccee' and 'bacillee' and it's making me unreasonably frustrated
 
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