RANT HERE thread

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@kcoughli it's not whiny! Other people's hardships don't diminish your personal struggles. You've worked so hard to realize your goals -- it's ok to feel bummed out by further delays, and it's only natural you are restless to find your place.

Hopefully this will all end up with you finding the best match for you & your career goals.
 
Mini rant: You think being done with school I would be done with that same repetitive nightmare about the algebra class I forgot I registered for until finals week. Not so :joyful: Still has the power to keep me tossing and turning! Lol
 
Omg I need to hear more

soooo it’s a dream I had often all throughout undergrad and occasionally in vet school too. It didn’t actually happen IRL, thank jeebus. Sometimes the class would be statistics, but it was mostly an algebra class. The most detailed iteration of it had me showing up for the first day, and the class is always at 9:30 am. I hear about daily homework, but the dumb dumb dream version of me that can’t even walk in a straight line and often just floats through space without control just conveniently forgets that. Somehow fast forward to the end of the semester and I somehow remember the class again. Sometimes I wake up at this point, other times the registrar takes pity on me and lets me drop the class.

you might think I’m crazy for remembering THIS many details of a dream, but I kid you know I have dreamt this at least 30 separate times.
 
soooo it’s a dream I had often all throughout undergrad and occasionally in vet school too. It didn’t actually happen IRL, thank jeebus. Sometimes the class would be statistics, but it was mostly an algebra class. The most detailed iteration of it had me showing up for the first day, and the class is always at 9:30 am. I hear about daily homework, but the dumb dumb dream version of me that can’t even walk in a straight line and often just floats through space without control just conveniently forgets that. Somehow fast forward to the end of the semester and I somehow remember the class again. Sometimes I wake up at this point, other times the registrar takes pity on me and lets me drop the class.

you might think I’m crazy for remembering THIS many details of a dream, but I kid you know I have dreamt this at least 30 separate times.
I have had this type of dream a couple times. Very vivid when I woke up and had to wonder how I was supposed to be in English class for vet school haha
 
soooo it’s a dream I had often all throughout undergrad and occasionally in vet school too. It didn’t actually happen IRL, thank jeebus. Sometimes the class would be statistics, but it was mostly an algebra class. The most detailed iteration of it had me showing up for the first day, and the class is always at 9:30 am. I hear about daily homework, but the dumb dumb dream version of me that can’t even walk in a straight line and often just floats through space without control just conveniently forgets that. Somehow fast forward to the end of the semester and I somehow remember the class again. Sometimes I wake up at this point, other times the registrar takes pity on me and lets me drop the class.

you might think I’m crazy for remembering THIS many details of a dream, but I kid you know I have dreamt this at least 30 separate times.
This is a fairly common dream in general. I've had it once or twice. The one time I remember, it was art history. I've never taken, nor needed to take, an art history class in my life.
 
Watched my class's virtual graduation. Told myself I could handle it and it would be fine. Besides, I wanted to celebrate my friends' achievements.

It wasn't fine. 🙁

I'm happy for and proud of them all and, honestly, I think the finality of it all will put things at ease in my mind and mark an end to mourning what could have been. But I also still can't help but feel that familiar twinge of sadness and inadequacy, and a sense of utter failure, at not seeing my name in the slideshow of graduates, especially knowing that I am shackled to a debt that I will never be able to repay in my current state.

Despite that, though, life overall is the best it has been in probably over a decade for me right now and I've survived way worse blows. I'll survive this, too. I've made it this far, partly thanks to all of the amazingly supportive, kind people of SDN. All I ever wanted was to use my scientific knowledge and background to make a difference in some way, and there is some comfort in knowing that I am doing that now in my public health job... even if it's not quite in the exact way I envisioned.
 
Despite that, though, life overall is the best it has been in probably over a decade for me right now and I've survived way worse blows. I'll survive this, too.

You are so strong and I am so proud of you. You've shown a strength and perseverance that is above and beyond. I am also so happy to see this specific statement. You've endured and worked so much to become who you want to be and I think you're really truly being that person. <3
 
This is a fairly common dream in general. I've had it once or twice. The one time I remember, it was art history. I've never taken, nor needed to take, an art history class in my life.
Haha yeah. I still get these when I’m going through some anxiety IRL. It’s been 12 years since I graduated college...

It’s either a humanities course where I’m surely overdue on assignments and the end of the semester is tomorrow and I haven’t done any of the three papers needed for the course, it’s impossible to write these three papers in a day, and even if I could, I’m not sure if they would even be accepted or if I have a shot at passing the class; or it’s an easy math course I should have aced, but I never took any of the exams and same situation as the above; or it’s a PE class and I never attended it and likely have already missed enough to not pass.

And always, I’ve already been accepted to vet school or college and failing this course jeopardizes that. The last one I had was a month ago, and it was different in that I was actually failing vet school during my 4th year because I didn’t account for enough electives and I had to restart vet school at Texas A&M as a first year...
 
It’s either a humanities course where I’m surely overdue on assignments and the end of the semester is tomorrow and I haven’t done any of the three papers needed for the course, it’s impossible to write these three papers in a day, and even if I could, I’m not sure if they would even be accepted or if I have a shot at passing the class
This happened to me more than once irl and my solution was just to not write the papers 😳
 
soooo it’s a dream I had often all throughout undergrad and occasionally in vet school too. It didn’t actually happen IRL, thank jeebus. Sometimes the class would be statistics, but it was mostly an algebra class. The most detailed iteration of it had me showing up for the first day, and the class is always at 9:30 am. I hear about daily homework, but the dumb dumb dream version of me that can’t even walk in a straight line and often just floats through space without control just conveniently forgets that. Somehow fast forward to the end of the semester and I somehow remember the class again. Sometimes I wake up at this point, other times the registrar takes pity on me and lets me drop the class.

you might think I’m crazy for remembering THIS many details of a dream, but I kid you know I have dreamt this at least 30 separate times.

Yes, I still have this dream occasionally. Except, I don't know what class it is. I am sent a message that I have been missing class and I am going to fail if I don't start showing up and doing assignments, but no one will tell me what class it is. They say I signed up for it at the beginning of the semester, so it is my responsibility to know what classes I am in and where to be. I am frantically trying to figure out what other class it is I signed up for, but can't figure it out. Failing this class will, somehow, also put me on academic probation (which is silly because I was never close to that and because if you don't show up for the first few classes at the university I went to school at they auto drop you). So anyway, I am frantic trying to find this class and figure out how I am going to make up past assignments and then I typically wake up.
 
Yes, I still have this dream occasionally. Except, I don't know what class it is. I am sent a message that I have been missing class and I am going to fail if I don't start showing up and doing assignments, but no one will tell me what class it is. They say I signed up for it at the beginning of the semester, so it is my responsibility to know what classes I am in and where to be. I am frantically trying to figure out what other class it is I signed up for, but can't figure it out. Failing this class will, somehow, also put me on academic probation (which is silly because I was never close to that and because if you don't show up for the first few classes at the university I went to school at they auto drop you). So anyway, I am frantic trying to find this class and figure out how I am going to make up past assignments and then I typically wake up.

Ahaha. I don’t think I’ve ever not known which class it is. But I’ve had some where I couldn’t figure out what days/times or classrooms the class was held... cause you know, it’s the end of the semester so you’re supposed to know. Wandering aimlessly and frantically around a building trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be. And not knowing what is even being taught at the moment, even when I find a class I’m not even sure how to tell if I’m at the right one. So much anxiety!
 
For the sake of their future clients/patients, and for the sake of the future of medical care in general (have you ever experienced a doctor with no bedside manner? I sure have), I sincerely hope that some of the student doctors I've encountered on this website develop some compassion and empathy before graduation from their respective programs. The thoughtless comments I've seen made and the lack of remorse for hurting people are extremely troubling, especially coming from future medical professionals.
 
Watched my class's virtual graduation. Told myself I could handle it and it would be fine. Besides, I wanted to celebrate my friends' achievements.

It wasn't fine. 🙁

I'm happy for and proud of them all and, honestly, I think the finality of it all will put things at ease in my mind and mark an end to mourning what could have been. But I also still can't help but feel that familiar twinge of sadness and inadequacy, and a sense of utter failure, at not seeing my name in the slideshow of graduates, especially knowing that I am shackled to a debt that I will never be able to repay in my current state.

Despite that, though, life overall is the best it has been in probably over a decade for me right now and I've survived way worse blows. I'll survive this, too. I've made it this far, partly thanks to all of the amazingly supportive, kind people of SDN. All I ever wanted was to use my scientific knowledge and background to make a difference in some way, and there is some comfort in knowing that I am doing that now in my public health job... even if it's not quite in the exact way I envisioned.

You can be sad. It’s okay to be sad. Heck, I’d be surprised if you weren’t sad.

But also remember to take your debt and double it, plus about 1/8 for the extra summer, and then compound the interest... and also remember to watch your classmates as they find their first jobs and then struggle with the same things we all struggle with right out the gate...

Not that their struggles somehow make you feel better. But it’s important to remember, I really really think you would still have had a lot of the same difficulty and doubts even if you had made it through, and the extra pressure of trying to make a new clinic job work and fit in and dealing with the extra much debt would have been pretty difficult too.

Life sucks sometimes, and dealing with body dysmorphism and gender stuff and general depression are just... gonna be hard no matter what.

I’m really glad that you have had some better days and that you are in your own place now. Keep on keeping on and I’m sure more good things are in your future.
 
For the sake of their future clients/patients, and for the sake of the future of medical care in general (have you ever experienced a doctor with no bedside manner? I sure have), I sincerely hope that some of the student doctors I've encountered on this website develop some compassion and empathy before graduation from their respective programs. The thoughtless comments I've seen made and the lack of remorse for hurting people are extremely troubling, especially coming from future medical professionals.
Very sorry you've encountered some disagreeable peeps.

If it's any consolation ... these types of peeps are not invited to work with my AMC, or with my close-knit team. We do not tolerate insensitivity nor arrogance; and these types of peeps are quickly dispatched elsewhere if they are unwilling to listen and learn, and be the very best they can be. We don't waste time on them.

By the way, the majority of student doctors (and interns and residents) I have supervised are good peeps and really DO care about being GOOD docs. Just saying. 🙂
 
Ha. I treat my animals for the VERY basic wellness care - vaccines and prophylactics. But that's it. Part of working in referral/ER is having specialists. I have a dentist do his dentals, and if he gets sick or injured I will immediately have that specialty take care of him. I'm not rational enough about my own pets.

Just how some of us are. I had to see a local SA GP's dog for a suspected CCL injury yesterday. Her dog had already blown one knee several years earlier, she already had made the right dx .... She just wanted rads and confirmation. Totally cool - I get that. I'd be the same.
 
I wish my vacation started this weekend instead of next weekend. I really just need like 5 days in a row away from work. I'm not even going anywhere for vacation, but it's the mental break that I could really use right now. I still love my job, still love the people I work with, still love the vast majority of my clients and patients. But I would also love to have 5 days in a row where I don't have to wear pants.
 
To continue my previous rant-had to put another dog down she was old and it was just her time as she had been slowly going down hill but had an exceptionally bad last few days. Kicker is if COVID wasnt a thing I would have been home getting ready for my wedding and would have been able to be with her one last time
 
Haha yeah. I still get these when I’m going through some anxiety IRL. It’s been 12 years since I graduated college...

It’s either a humanities course where I’m surely overdue on assignments and the end of the semester is tomorrow and I haven’t done any of the three papers needed for the course, it’s impossible to write these three papers in a day, and even if I could, I’m not sure if they would even be accepted or if I have a shot at passing the class; or it’s an easy math course I should have aced, but I never took any of the exams and same situation as the above; or it’s a PE class and I never attended it and likely have already missed enough to not pass.

And always, I’ve already been accepted to vet school or college and failing this course jeopardizes that. The last one I had was a month ago, and it was different in that I was actually failing vet school during my 4th year because I didn’t account for enough electives and I had to restart vet school at Texas A&M as a first year...

This was like an actual real fear...we needed x amount of elective credits to go to fourth year and I was always terrified that I miscounted...still half expecting someone to tell me I’m missing one and can’t fourth year anymore lol
 
This was like an actual real fear...we needed x amount of elective credits to go to fourth year and I was always terrified that I miscounted...still half expecting someone to tell me I’m missing one and can’t fourth year anymore lol

The rumor this actually happened to people in either 2018 or 2019. We need 8 elective credits (literally one elective per quarter and you're fine), but these people had only 7 electives. Not sure if it's true or not, but still low key terrifying.
 
We first years at my school finished exams today, which is awesome. I’m thrilled. People really wish they could celebrate and it sucks that we can’t because of the situation. Most of us made the best of it and had a zoom Happy Hour kind of thing, because we figured that was the responsible way to celebrate and enjoy being done with first year.

I’ve been on Facebook a good amount watching the celebratory posts roll in. One group of about 9 students decided it would be a good idea to get together on campus in front of the school and pop champagne, hugging, posing for pictures, and not wearing masks. Frankly I’m disgusted. As a profession we’re supposed to be at the forefront of public health, and should be setting a good example for the rest of the community. Instead, these people ignored a quarantine for the most selfish reason. And it’s out there for everyone to see.
 
I’ve been on Facebook a good amount watching the celebratory posts roll in. One group of about 9 students decided it would be a good idea to get together on campus in front of the school and pop champagne, hugging, posing for pictures, and not wearing masks. Frankly I’m disgusted. As a profession we’re supposed to be at the forefront of public health, and should be setting a good example for the rest of the community. Instead, these people ignored a quarantine for the most selfish reason. And it’s out there for everyone to see.

Their punishment should be that they get to do first year over again!
 
This was like an actual real fear...we needed x amount of elective credits to go to fourth year and I was always terrified that I miscounted...still half expecting someone to tell me I’m missing one and can’t fourth year anymore lol

we do this during 4th year, too and this exact situation has happened before! I had to scramble my schedule around after my accident this winter and admin reassured me many times that people that miscounted 1 or 2 credits were still able to participate in graduation but just had to make up that extra week or 2 after. it is stressful building your own schedule, for sure. I had one credit left in April and Illinois started offering those online electives to other schools and it was a godsend for me!
 
We first years at my school finished exams today, which is awesome. I’m thrilled. People really wish they could celebrate and it sucks that we can’t because of the situation. Most of us made the best of it and had a zoom Happy Hour kind of thing, because we figured that was the responsible way to celebrate and enjoy being done with first year.

I’ve been on Facebook a good amount watching the celebratory posts roll in. One group of about 9 students decided it would be a good idea to get together on campus in front of the school and pop champagne, hugging, posing for pictures, and not wearing masks. Frankly I’m disgusted. As a profession we’re supposed to be at the forefront of public health, and should be setting a good example for the rest of the community. Instead, these people ignored a quarantine for the most selfish reason. And it’s out there for everyone to see.

ive been super aggy about classmates going out in large groups to take grad photos, but I haven’t dared say anything because I know I’d get dog piled lol.
 
ive been super aggy about classmates going out in large groups to take grad photos, but I haven’t dared say anything because I know I’d get dog piled lol.
I’ve seen so many posts of people doing this, too :/

We didn’t even get our regalia here. So like, you could take these pictures anytime and I guarantee have similar ones from other times.
 
It’s late and I’m gonna spam the thread sorry cant sleep bc

1) gotta make a 10 hour trip to officially move out of my vet school apt

2) preceptorship begins Monday am and I think I have forgotten everything about animals

3) my mom told me before tomorrow I gotta charge both my phone and my battery pack Bc phone is always dead but I only charged my phone so she’s gonna be mad lol

4) miscellaneous???
 
We first years at my school finished exams today, which is awesome. I’m thrilled. People really wish they could celebrate and it sucks that we can’t because of the situation. Most of us made the best of it and had a zoom Happy Hour kind of thing, because we figured that was the responsible way to celebrate and enjoy being done with first year.

I’ve been on Facebook a good amount watching the celebratory posts roll in. One group of about 9 students decided it would be a good idea to get together on campus in front of the school and pop champagne, hugging, posing for pictures, and not wearing masks. Frankly I’m disgusted. As a profession we’re supposed to be at the forefront of public health, and should be setting a good example for the rest of the community. Instead, these people ignored a quarantine for the most selfish reason. And it’s out there for everyone to see.

A bunch of 4th years did this too sometime in the last few days.

Can I say I called that school getting out was when peeps would give up on all this?
 
Last week we had 2 hailstorms and snow. In May.

Tonight there is a literal cloud of black flies out my window and also a tornado watch

Domino's still won't bring pizza to my house no matter how much I offer to pay them/how often I remind them we are ~7 minutes away from their location, and that "town lines" is a stupid, arbitrary way to decide where you will & will not send pizza
 
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(I'm not actually that upset. Thunderstorms are cool.)

Although... the Domino's thing is real and remains a stupid policy, just like it was before covid-19. Now I'm having an internal battle over whether I want pizza more than I don't want to play by their dumb rules and get in the car to go get it.

...I am really hungry though... :thinking:
 
Growing up in NJ, town lines were so blurred that no one knew where they were exactly so restaurants just set a delivery radius. It made things way easier and if you showed up in the radius you could get delivery, no matter what town you were in.
 
Growing up in NJ, town lines were so blurred that no one knew where they were exactly so restaurants just set a delivery radius. It made things way easier and if you showed up in the radius you could get delivery, no matter what town you were in.
This is like where I grew up, too. On top of that we also had a lot of areas that were unincorporated (even in suburban areas, not just more rural areas). I didn’t even realize some places would set a limit at city limits like that.
 
This is like where I grew up, too. On top of that we also had a lot of areas that were unincorporated (even in suburban areas, not just more rural areas). I didn’t even realize some places would set a limit at city limits like that.
My hometown is also extremely confusing, given that it has two names; one is a town name, the other is a township name. Except it’s all one place, and it’s the only town in the township. I can’t tell you which towns it borders and how far away each neighboring town is because everything is so weirdly shaped and everything butts up against each other or crosses over.
 
Last week we had 2 hailstorms and snow. In May.

Tonight there is a literal cloud of black flies out my window and also a tornado watch

Domino's still won't bring pizza to my house no matter how much I offer to pay them/how often I remind them we are ~7 minutes away from their location, and that "town lines" is a stupid, arbitrary way to decide where you will & will not send pizza

At least you don’t live in the sticks like I do. There isn’t a single delivery option to my house. Most places even in the podunks of the state have at least a crappy house of pizza and a Chinese place that delivers...
 
Growing up in NJ, town lines were so blurred that no one knew where they were exactly so restaurants just set a delivery radius. It made things way easier and if you showed up in the radius you could get delivery, no matter what town you were in.
Yeah this is how it was at my home too. We were outside the radius for dominos and couldn’t order online but sometimes if we called they’d let us order if the delivery driver was cool with it.
 
So update regarding my horse. The trainer across the street has taken us on so we are supposed to be moving next week. However I’m moving from solely dressage trainer to eventing trainer to just reconnect with my horse and think about our goals. So...I’m joining the dark side for a while. Lol. But now someone at the old barn was exposed to covid. They are locking down so no horse owners are allowed out there now. They say only a few days per health officials while awaiting testing. We shall see.

also please don’t quote might edit or delete this later
 
@mmmdreamerz

@Minnerbelle

I still have dreams (or nightmares) that I forgot to go to a class and school calls me to tell me my degree is not valid. Lol! Several of my colleagues have had the same dream. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get two of my clinic rotation grades until like an hour before the oath and hooding. Lol. I won’t say what those rotations were but you might be able to guess.
 
My brother is visiting. I was so excited to see him but he is so afraid of giving me COVID to the point that I keep getting "shooed" back upstairs (for lack of a better term). He lives in the city and we are out in a near-rural part of the suburbs. I had a lot of health problems growing up. My family still views me as being much more fragile than I am. They are downstairs having fun and I feel like a leper. I know they are doing it because they love me, but still. Brother would only come home if I stayed in my bedroom the whole time and I really want my mom to have the time with him, so I'm tolerating it, but it feels sad. 🙁
 
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