I'm pretty sure I might be getting a job offer soon, but at this point I really don't want it.

I've done 3 interviews with them and they're contacting my references this week, so I think things are getting close, but there have been a number of red (or yellow?) flags that have me nervous. I'm over a year into my job hunt so I hate the idea of turning anything down, but ugh . . .
In our first interview the supervisor/hiring manager prefaced some of his questions with "I know I'm not allowed to ask this, but", and asked about if I'm single, have kids or any family I'd be moving with, etc. I'd consider that more of a yellow flag. He had some comments about work that's expected to be completed in off hours because "there's not enough time during the day" (this was regarding manuscript writing, which you can argue isn't technically required of the employee? As far as I can tell they really only publish if the employee wants to keep up their publication record and takes the initiative in their own time to prepare it. This wouldn't be strange in academia but it does seem a little off for industry, but what do I know). This and some of the other comments they've made have been kind of red flags for their work/life balance expectations. After my second interview (where I gave a 40 min technical presentation) they reposted the job on LinkedIn and I pretty much wrote them off and felt really good about not getting it. A month later he surprised me by reaching out for a third meeting. He said he wanted to arrange some one-on-one meetings between me and his team to talk to each other about our research and see if personalities were a good fit. Either he didn't explain it well or changed his mind because it wasn't a one-on-one, he was on the call the entire time, and it was formatted like an interview and not a conversation like I thought it would be. I don't know if he was worried where unsupervised conversations would lead? It might be worth noting that the company has really poor reviews online on glassdoor and other sites, but those are mostly ratings from technician positions. That might not be relevant for this particular department but it was disappointing to see.
Way back in the first interview they asked about my availability to come for an in-person visit, so maybe that will be the next step after they talk to references? I know that I would absolutely not commit to this job without getting to have real one-on-one meetings with some of the team, even if it's just over zoom. An in-person visit would be nice to sus out the situation but I'm kind of doubting that will happen. I would have to move halfway across the country and be alone in a very conservative area, so the location is a deterrent. I asked about salary ranges in my first interview and he said that he didn't know, which is maybe a yellow flag? Either he does know and it's low so he didn't want to say, or they have a good budget for it but want people to under negotiate, maybe.
Anyway, that's a lot of words to say I'm pretty sure I might get an offer for this job and I really hope that I don't. I'm in the early/mid stages of review for a state job that I would 100% prefer to this one, but I don't know for sure how that will all end up yet. If Job A does offer to me, I might have to turn them down and just hope for good news from Job B. The hiring manager emphasized that I'm one of their few final candidates, but I'm praying they'll offer to the other(s) instead. I hate the thought of turning anything down right now but my gut feeling is that this job is a bad idea.