Short and Asian for men is pretty much the kiss of death for dating in America

[studentp0x]

That really doesn't change anything because it's still just peer pressure that's the issue. Put it this way, say he has sex with a prostitute. Then, a week later what has changed? He's still involuntarily without sex, so that must mean prostitute time again. But that's not addressing the actual issue, is it?

Most single guys don't get laid frequently.

Getting a hooker will increase his confidence towards women and lead him to further pursue casual sex. I've seen it successfully happen with people I've known.
One hooker isn't enough, maybe 4-5 times and then you'll definitely feel different and your approach towards women and sex changes a lot. At least that's what I saw with the 4 different guys I've known who did this.

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[ruralsurg4now]

Sexual frustration is the main part of prolonged virginity. It is what fuels many things on the inside (ex. suicide bombers dying to get to heaven for the "72 virgins" )

That's false because the suicide bombers aren't virgins themselves. They just want virgins. (In fact, the 9/11 suicide bombers, for example, were violating all sorts of Islamic beliefs before 9/11.) I have no idea why they want virgins, though, as they would be terrible in bed. Shouldn't they want 72 prostitutes who have been well-used by all manner of men?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Nothing on the surface but I think that knowing you've been there done that can at least address some of his internal anxiety and personal insecurities. I personally would suggest hooking up with an unattractive normal girl over a prostitute. A lot of non-virgin guys do it to get back in a game if they haven't had much luck lately.

By the way, I imagine that all the women's heads are exploding right now. LOL.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Ironically, there is a ad at the top of SDN right now for "browsing 10000 single Asian women's profiles." OP should get on that.

I've seen that one. Right now, SDN is also showing me an ad for something called "League of Angels," which looks like a video game involving women wearing bikinis who bend over a lot. I'm not kidding, they just showed this girl bend over and the camera zoomed in on her CGI ass. SDN is a professional place, I tell ya!

 

[studentp0x]

That's false because the suicide bombers aren't virgins themselves. They just want virgins. (In fact, the 9/11 suicide bombers, for example, were violating all sorts of Islamic beliefs before 9/11.) I have no idea why they want virgins, though, as they would be terrible in bed. Shouldn't they want 72 prostitutes who have been well-used by all manner of men?

Incorrect, 9/11 is just one small example relative to all the other jihadists. Almost always they're single men (which in strict islamic culture, means you're a virgin).

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

I've seen that one. Right now, SDN is also showing me an ad for something called "League of Angels," which looks like a video game involving women wearing bikinis who bend over a lot. I'm not kidding, they just showed this girl bend over and the camera zoomed in on her CGI ass. SDN is a professional place, I tell ya!

lol, I just saw that one this morning and thought the same thing.

 

[SunsFun]

By the way, I imagine that all the women's heads are exploding right now. LOL.

Maybe but I am not advocating leading somebody on. Plenty of people out there just want casual sex with no strings attached.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Almost always they're single men (which in strict islamic culture, means you're a virgin).

Right, but they're not strict, is my point.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Maybe but I am not advocating leading somebody on. Plenty of people out there just want casual sex with no strings attached.

No, I just meant how we were like "yeah, you could get prostitute or like an ugly woman." LOL.

 

[studentp0x]

Right, but they're not strict, is my point.

The 9/11 guys (half of them? ) maybe weren't but the vast vast majority of these guys are.
Also, whether or not they're strict doesn't change much if you're a villager in afghanistan.

 

[studentp0x]

No, I just meant how we were like "yeah, you could get prostitute or like an ugly woman." LOL.

Why would you get an ugly 35 year old woman when you can get a hot 22 year old escort? The former will probably turn you off from sex/women for a long time (I speak from one of my experiences) no matter how you look yourself, while the latter will continue the pursuit.
You can say the turn off is a good thing in a way? But it's temporarily delaying biological urges only.

 

[Isha2018]

Let me first second this but then also address the last sentence specifically. The only thing "detrimental" to virginity is your own comfort with it. In other words, it's essentially like your internal measure of how susceptible you are to peer pressure. Let's say some virgin gets an escort and they have sex. Then what's the difference between you yesterday and today? Yesterday you were "abnormal" and today you're "normal"? I'm sure most rational people would identify that this makes little sense.

The most frequently cited reason to randomly have sex -- whether someone is a virgin or not -- is so that you will not be awkward with the person you actually love. That's hilarious. First of all, as I've said before, if the person you actually love can't tolerate going through the process of the two of you learning to have sex with each other, then you don't love each other. Second of all, who practices on random people to prepare for your "true" love? Talk about monster rationalization (and pretty poor reasoning), but that's the best that people could come up with. There's also this widely-circulated statement that "actually, a man/woman would be turned off by a woman/man being a virgin because they're so bad at sex." This is usually used to cajole someone who is a virgin to have sex, interestingly enough, since I thought nobody wanted to have sex with them. It's basically people trying to drag other people down to their level. (By the way, this argument is also followed by "oh, and expecting someone to be a virgin at x age is unrealistic," which is also hilarious. You can see that people are just throwing arguments on the wall and seeing which one works.)

Thank you for a very logical argument. I completely agree.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

Can we please stop telling this guy to solicit a prostitute? It's such a hilariously bad idea. This isn't Risky Business.

 

[SunsFun]

No, I just meant how we were like "yeah, you could get prostitute or like an ugly woman." LOL.

Oh got it. That does sound wrong for some reason.

But seriously I feel that his problems is that he is attracted to too few women. I personally find at least a third of women my age that I meet on a regular basis attractive. Maybe I live in a really good area (which seems to be the case at least when I visited Arkansas and Oklahoma) but in the end I am pretty content individual. Not only that but also almost every girl that I meet ends up being a complete sweetheart when I get to know her.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Oh got it. That does sound wrong for some reason.

But seriously I feel that his problems is that he is attracted to too few women. I personally find at least a third of women my age that I meet on a regular basis attractive. Maybe I live in a really good area (which seems to be the case at least when I visited Arkansas and Oklahoma) but in the end I am pretty content individual. Not only that but also almost every girl that I meet ends up being a complete sweetheart when I get to know her.

Sounds like you're just really really horny, lol. (J/k.) Attractiveness of women is so variable that it's ridiculous. Everyone has experienced the phenomenon where women get out of their sweaters and coats at the end of winter and suddenly you think that every woman looks amazingly hot, just because you can see their legs. That wears off after a few days. There are days where I think every girl looks hot, but if I stop and actually look at them, I'm like "meh." There are very few girls who make me stop and look twice, so if that's your yardstick for attractive, I'd say I find very few women attractive.

 

[Dent35]

maybe he is insecure about the size of his penis that's why he hasn't tried hookers.
and hey bruno mars is 5'5
Anyways, don't let your height stop you, you just have to be confident when you approach women. Don't look nervous when you are approaching them because trust me, we know. Also, try to be funny, don't be insecure and your personality will overshadow your height, which again i don't think is a big deal anyways.

good luck

 

[studentp0x]

maybe he is insecure about the size of his penis that's why he hasn't tried hookers.
and hey bruno mars is 5'5
Anyways, don't let your height stop you, you just have to be confident when you approach women. Don't look nervous when you are approaching them because trust me, we know. Also, try to be funny, don't be insecure and your personality will overshadow your height, which again i don't think is a big deal anyways.

good luck

By far easier said than that. Maybe if he bangs a few hot chicks (escorts being the only realistic shot) he'll be able to do that.

 

[ShortDoctor]

Some of my closest friends who know have asked why haven't I visited hookers? The primary reason is that it is illegal and I found the ones in Nevada to be trashy and demand prices not worth what they offer (no offense to anyone who is easily offended). Yes there are very beautiful escorts, whom I have been interested in getting with, but I can't risk my professional future by engaging in this activity. When I was in China where this activity is more tolerated, I tried to find some escorts, but was fresh out of luck (apparently the gov was cracking down to keep up with appearances. Or maybe I really have bad luck finding women) That's what really got me down and was when I felt trapped in my virginity. And now I'm working my ass off with little hope of ever starting a family.

 

[studentp0x]

Some of my closest friends who know have asked why haven't I visited hookers? The primary reason is that it is illegal and I found the ones in Nevada to be trashy and demand prices not worth what they offer (no offense to anyone who is easily offended). Yes there are very beautiful escorts, whom I have been interested in getting with, but I can't risk my professional future by engaging in this activity. When I was in China where this activity is more tolerated, I tried to find some escorts, but was fresh out of luck (apparently the gov was cracking down to keep up with appearances. Or maybe I really have bad luck finding women) That's what really got me down and was when I felt trapped in my virginity. And now I'm working my ass off with little hope of ever starting a family.

2 options:

1) Stop looking up 180$/hour hookers on craigslist/backpage (that's where people get into trouble from what I've heard, but up here in Canada prostitution is perfectly legal) and find a legitimate expensive escort (300$/hour and up - search online for agencies and such) with lots of high quality reviews online. You have a better chance of getting in a bad car accident than getting into trouble doing what I just said.

2) Take a trip to Europe and visit a red-light district.

I'd recommend the first option since the risk is virtually nonexistent and you can get local high quality service. But if you're paranoid, the second option can work as well. Don't listen to what people tell you about being confident and blah blah.... until you got the virgin monkey off your back, you won't have any confidence to pursue any half decent woman (I'm talking an average looking divorced woman with a 14$/hour job), let alone better. If you choose to simply go on and hope for the best, it won't be long till 40 and 45 comes along with no real changes. Best to be realistic .

(For the record, I've never gotten an escort and never plan to)

 

[rkaz]

Some of my closest friends who know have asked why haven't I visited hookers? The primary reason is that it is illegal and I found the ones in Nevada to be trashy and demand prices not worth what they offer (no offense to anyone who is easily offended). Yes there are very beautiful escorts, whom I have been interested in getting with, but I can't risk my professional future by engaging in this activity. When I was in China where this activity is more tolerated, I tried to find some escorts, but was fresh out of luck (apparently the gov was cracking down to keep up with appearances. Or maybe I really have bad luck finding women) That's what really got me down and was when I felt trapped in my virginity. And now I'm working my ass off with little hope of ever starting a family.

You mention looking for escorts, and at the same time mention starting a family. Which one do you want? If you want the escorts... then fine. But if you are really looking to settle down long term with someone and start a family, then I don't know how the hookers plays into that. It's not just your professional reputation, I sure can't imagine telling the woman of your dreams that you were previously paying prostitutes to get laid.

I empathize with you about being discriminated for your height... as even the shorter women still want the tall guys. I know it happens and it is unfortunate. Chalk it up to evolution where women (both short and tall) want the taller guy to feel more 'protected' and secure with. Some of us, like myself, used to prefer taller guys as well - but after dating guys closer to my height, I found I actually preferred the shorter guys as they were easier to hug.

I agree that being turned away for being short as a guy is totally unfair. However, you can also see the discrimination towards 'older' women that is even rampant in this thread. I remember when I was dating, guys my own age usually always seemed to prefer younger women. My ex-H was 3.5 years younger than me, but that was unusual as most of the people I dated were older. I set my age range on my profiles to men 4 years younger to 4 years older - and invariably guys 4-20 years older would write to me, with very few being my own age (and a rare one younger than me). I've also noticed that women (as a generalization) seem to be more open to heavier men, while men are (overall) more adverse to heavier women. I realize the preference for younger and slimmer women may have an evolutionary basis as well. Nonetheless, it also sucks for many women when guys of their own age would prefer to date. On this thread people are referring to 'ugly 35 year old women'. What's wrong with dating a 35 year old woman, when you yourself are 35? (You didn't say any such thing, but I'm just going off of the sentiment by other posters.) I just think it's sad that both men and women find stupid things to disqualify each other for.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

and hey bruno mars is 5'5

And also ugly, but he's also rich and famous.

 

[SunsFun]

2 options:

1) Stop looking up 180$/hour hookers on craigslist/backpage (that's where people get into trouble from what I've heard, but up here in Canada prostitution is perfectly legal) and find a legitimate expensive escort (300$/hour and up - search online for agencies and such) with lots of high quality reviews online. You have a better chance of getting in a bad car accident than getting into trouble doing what I just said.

2) Take a trip to Europe and visit a red-light district.

I'd recommend the first option since the risk is virtually nonexistent and you can get local high quality service. But if you're paranoid, the second option can work as well. Don't listen to what people tell you about being confident and blah blah.... until you got the virgin monkey off your back, you won't have any confidence to pursue any half decent woman (I'm talking an average looking divorced woman with a 14$/hour job), let alone better. If you choose to simply go on and hope for the best, it won't be long till 40 and 45 comes along with no real changes. Best to be realistic .

(For the record, I've never gotten an escort and never plan to)

Depending on where are you at in your career and how much money you've got there is another option:

Move to LA (Santa Monica, Malibu, West Hollywood). Rent a nice pad and a sorts car and go out clubbing. Pop bottles. You will have more women than you know what to do with.

Also, I don't know where you live but where I am from 300/hour is dirt cheap. You're asking for trouble paying that little.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

You will have more women than you know what to do with.

So ...two?

 

[studentp0x]

You mention looking for escorts, and at the same time mention starting a family. Which one do you want? If you want the escorts... then fine. But if you are really looking to settle down long term with someone and start a family, then I don't know how the hookers plays into that. It's not just your professional reputation, I sure can't imagine telling the woman of your dreams that you were previously paying prostitutes to get laid.

I empathize with you about being discriminated for your height... as even the shorter women still want the tall guys. I know it happens and it is unfortunate. Chalk it up to evolution where women (both short and tall) want the taller guy to feel more 'protected' and secure with. Some of us, like myself, used to prefer taller guys as well - but after dating guys closer to my height, I found I actually preferred the shorter guys as they were easier to hug.

I agree that being turned away for being short as a guy is totally unfair. However, you can also see the discrimination towards 'older' women that is even rampant in this thread. I remember when I was dating, guys my own age usually always seemed to prefer younger women. My ex-H was 3.5 years younger than me, but that was unusual as most of the people I dated were older. I set my age range on my profiles to men 4 years younger to 4 years older - and invariably guys 4-20 years older would write to me, with very few being my own age (and a rare one younger than me). I've also noticed that women (as a generalization) seem to be more open to heavier men, while men are (overall) more adverse to heavier women. I realize the preference for younger and slimmer women may have an evolutionary basis as well. Nonetheless, it also sucks for many women when guys of their own age would prefer to date. On this thread people are referring to 'ugly 35 year old women'. What's wrong with dating a 35 year old woman, when you yourself are 35? (You didn't say any such thing, but I'm just going off of the sentiment by other posters.) I just think it's sad that both men and women find stupid things to disqualify each other for.

Getting the virgin monkey off your back improves confidence and outlook. Also at age 35, odds of finding the woman of your dreams are slim to none. Let's be realistic lol. Plus, how many people even find a partner who meets their dream standards? Virtually none. At 5'5 and age 35, it's that much harder.

Also, OP wants to bang hot 9/10s, not 4/10 divorced chubby women with 2 kids.

 

[studentp0x]

Depending on where are you at in your career and how much money you've got there is another option:

Move to LA (Santa Monica, Malibu, West Hollywood). Rent a nice pad and a sorts car and go out clubbing. Pop bottles. You will have more women than you know what to do with.

Also, I don't know where you live but where I am from 300/hour is dirt cheap. You're asking for trouble paying that little.

Maybe if he's in a top paying specialty and lands a job in those places (which is very hard to do nowadays) so he can afford that lifestyle, then maybe. But realize a lot of guys with more money use sugar daddy sites and also... make up the big portion of the market for pricey escorts (50k/year guys won't be dishing out 300-400$ for an hour of sex). It's not all that easy but of course in the long run, is a good path to try.

Also, where DO you live where 300$ is cheap? I'm calling bull on this one lol... 200$ is the going rate for a solid escort ... not ugly/average ones either. 300$ and up for an hour means she's either hot as hell and/or really good. Or was that sarcasm?

 

[Dent35]

And also ugly, but he's also rich and famous.

my point was that height doesn't matter.
Bruno Mars got over his height, he got confidence and he is so successful and rich and famous
There are so many short men that are successful i am pretty sure OP will get laid one day

 

[norwood]

The most frequently cited reason to randomly have sex -- whether someone is a virgin or not -- is so that you will not be awkward with the person you actually love. That's hilarious. First of all, as I've said before, if the person you actually love can't tolerate going through the process of the two of you learning to have sex with each other, then you don't love each other. Second of all, who practices on random people to prepare for your "true" love? Talk about monster rationalization (and pretty poor reasoning), but that's the best that people could come up with. There's also this widely-circulated statement that "actually, a man/woman would be turned off by a woman/man being a virgin because they're so bad at sex." This is usually used to cajole someone who is a virgin to have sex, interestingly enough, since I thought nobody wanted to have sex with them. It's basically people trying to drag other people down to their level. (By the way, this argument is also followed by "oh, and expecting someone to be a virgin at x age is unrealistic," which is also hilarious. You can see that people are just throwing arguments on the wall and seeing which one works.)

So well said. +1.

Please don't try to speak on behalf of all women with something that's absolutely false.

It's not false.

Rejecting a man because he hasn't "gained experience" via prostitutes or random hook-ups? That makes absolutely no sense.

The 9/11 guys (half of them? ) maybe weren't but the vast vast majority of these guys are.
Also, whether or not they're strict doesn't change much if you're a villager in afghanistan.

The Muslim lands have all the same problems as the Western ones, just hidden.

Don't listen to what people tell you about being confident and blah blah.... until you got the virgin monkey off your back, you won't have any confidence to pursue any half decent woman (I'm talking an average looking divorced woman with a 14$/hour job), let alone better.

Virginity is not something to throw away, it's something to treasure until you are married. Being a virgin is an advantage. What the OP needs to do is learn to respect himself for it instead of letting guys like you shame him for it.

 

[studentp0x]

So well said. +1.



It's not false.

Rejecting a man because he hasn't "gained experience" via prostitutes or random hook-ups? That makes absolutely no sense.



The Muslim lands have all the same problems as the Western ones, just hidden.



Virginity is not something to throw away, it's something to treasure until you are married. Being a virgin is an advantage. What the OP needs to do is learn to respect himself for it instead of letting guys like you shame him for it.

Save this nonsense advice for someone else, the OP clearly isn't in line with it.
Following your advice = 45 year old virgin who will eventually give in and get some trashy hooker.

And women don't reject men based on something specific like that, it's the virginity factor.
In all honesty, OP will probably have to be dishonest about his past if he hopes to land an average woman for marriage.
It wouldn't make sense to a typical 30-35 year old woman, why a 35 year old man has never had a decent relationship and why he's still a virgin. Most women would subconsciously find it weird or odd and think he has some an issue or two.

My personal issue is I don't like it when unrealistic advice is given around. It's like telling someone with a 2.8 gpa that they'll go on to becoming a good doctor blah blah. lol... I'm sure there's the odd case but the vast majority of the time, that person won't make it far or anywhere.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

How about we try the less radical approach and advise the OP to start "putting himself out there" more to meet women? It honestly doesn't sound like he's doing much to get out and meet women at all. I could be wrong, but it seems like he's waiting for women to come to him, when he really needs to be the proactive one here. Have to stop worrying about women rejecting him because of his height. Everyone gets rejected. Just have to get over that fear, hit on a bunch of women, and eventually he'll find someone.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

How about we try the less radical approach and advise the OP to start "putting himself out there" more to meet women? It honestly doesn't sound like he's doing much to get out and meet women at all. I could be wrong, but it seems like he's waiting for women to come to him, when he really needs to be the proactive one here. Have to stop worrying about women rejecting him because of his height. Everyone gets rejected. Just have to get over that fear, hit on a bunch of women, and eventually he'll find someone.

THANK YOU, finally.

The OP has done nothing but complain about how he "can't get there from here". I see nothing about how he's actually trying to get out there and meet women. He's convinced himself he's going to fail before he even tries.

This isn't about sex. This is a deep-seated case of insecurity, self-defeating attitude, and self-pity that ****ing a hooker won't fix.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

How about we try the less radical approach and advise the OP to start "putting himself out there" more to meet women? It honestly doesn't sound like he's doing much to get out and meet women at all. I could be wrong, but it seems like he's waiting for women to come to him, when he really needs to be the proactive one here. Have to stop worrying about women rejecting him because of his height. Everyone gets rejected. Just have to get over that fear, hit on a bunch of women, and eventually he'll find someone.

THANK YOU, finally.

The OP has done nothing but complain about how he "can't get there from here". I see nothing about how he's actually trying to get out there and meet women. He's convinced himself he's going to fail before he even tries.

This isn't about sex. This is a deep-seated case of insecurity, self-defeating attitude, and self-pity that ******* a hooker won't fix.

Yea but guys, insecurity/self-defeating attitudes/self-pity does not arise out of a vacuum. A person gets to be like that for a justifiable reason, not because of some internal miscalculation/misperception. Same thing with confidence, which similarly does not arise out of a vacuum, but through the backing of past success.

I mean, think about it, who actually wants to be the self-pitying type if they had a choice? Who in their right mind wouldn't want to be the confident go-getter? But you can't conjure confidence out of thin air, and you can't whisk away your insecurities by will alone. I don't know where people get this idea that anyone who wants to can flip a switch and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I'm sure it happens, but again, there's a reason why not everyone who wants to do it can. A LOT of things have to fall in place that aren't under the direct control of the actor.

Your advice of, "just get out there" does not take into account that the OP is a frickin' human being, who is prone to be even more demoralized if his efforts to "get out there" doesn't get him anywhere, casting him into more misery and depression, and who wouldn't want to avoid that if they could? It's not like he's some Brad Pitt who's lived on a deserted island for 35 years and doesn't realize his value or how others would perceive him in society. Presumably, he knows he's not valued. And there's a point where "getting out there" means less of a "taking your chances to score and find happiness in the end" and more of a "subject yourself to repeated beatings."

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I'm not suggesting the OP "snap out of it" - I know it's not that easy. However, I can't stand it when it sounds like people are whining without actually asking for advice and trying to better themselves. I've spent my life working through social anxiety - I know both how difficult it is to get out from under, as well as how throwing up your hands in a self-defeating way is a choice that YOU make. I have no patience for people who choose to wallow in self-pity. There is ALWAYS choice involved when it comes to attitude. No, you cannot fix everything simply by choice. You cannot magically get confidence. But you can damn well try rather than just complaining about how there is nothing you can do.

Edit - this sounds a lot grumpier than I intended it to. I was speaking in general terms - the OP isn't as bad as some people I've talked to.

 

[norwood]

It wouldn't make sense to a typical 30-35 year old woman, why a 35 year old man has never had a decent relationship and why he's still a virgin. Most women would subconsciously find it weird or odd and think he has some an issue or two.

Um, that he's been busy with college, med school, residency, and career? Not like he's been sitting around playing videogames and doing nothing with his life since he turned 18. I think the average woman is smart enough to realize that 80 hour weeks aren't really compatible with much of a social life.

 

[studentp0x]

THANK YOU, finally.

The OP has done nothing but complain about how he "can't get there from here". I see nothing about how he's actually trying to get out there and meet women. He's convinced himself he's going to fail before he even tries.

This isn't about sex. This is a deep-seated case of insecurity, self-defeating attitude, and self-pity that ******* a hooker won't fix.

Yes I'm sure a 35 year old 5'5 virgin who's self-conscious will be very confident in approaching an endless number of women to finally land one.

I've seen lots of guys get coached on confidence blah blah, they never actually do anything in the end though. Some guys naturally can talk to anyone and make convo while some can't.

 

[studentp0x]

I'm not suggesting the OP "snap out of it" - I know it's not that easy. However, I can't stand it when it sounds like people are whining without actually asking for advice and trying to better themselves. I've spent my life working through social anxiety - I know both how difficult it is to get out from under, as well as how throwing up your hands in a self-defeating way is a choice that YOU make. I have no patience for people who choose to wallow in self-pity. There is ALWAYS choice involved when it comes to attitude. No, you cannot fix everything simply by choice. You cannot magically get confidence. But you can damn well try rather than just complaining about how there is nothing you can do.

Edit - this sounds a lot grumpier than I intended it to. I was speaking in general terms - the OP isn't as bad as some people I've talked to.

And having sex with several women will grow that confidence In this case, OP will need to pay for it.

 

[studentp0x]

Um, that he's been busy with college, med school, residency, and career? Not like he's been sitting around playing videogames and doing nothing with his life since he turned 18. I think the average woman is smart enough to realize that 80 hour weeks aren't really compatible with much of a social life.

That's just an excuse. There's 4 month summers through your 4 years of college, there was high school even, medical school sure... though very very few med students are 100% studying only and 0% social life... residency.. you're making an assumption OP trained in a specialty with high hours though he never indicated that. Same goes with career, and chances are he's working 50-60 hours a week.

The relationship factor can be understandable if someone had the whole situation explained to them, the virginity factor not at all.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Yes I'm sure a 35 year old 5'5 virgin who's self-conscious will be very confident in approaching an endless number of women to finally land one.

Confused. Where did I say that? I was commenting on his attitude and in no way suggested this would happen.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

And having sex with several women will grow that confidence In this case, OP will need to pay for it.

That's like saying having an expensive catered gourmet meal will help cure anorexia. The psychology underlying the problem is the issue here. Not just the physical manifestations.

Having to pay someone to have sex with you is a mark of shame in my book (and in most people's books, I would imagine). I don't see how that would boost anyone's confidence. Quite the opposite actually. I mean think about it - you are basically affirming that no one wants you, and you are so pathetic you have to pay someone. I don't think that's healthy, regardless of the 3 or 4 or whatever guys you claim saw all these hookers and became Don Juans.

Not to mention a guy whose only relationships with women have been via prostitution is likely going to have no clue how an actual relationship works. and no clue how to communicate within one. The OPS doesn't just need to learn about sex, he needs to learn about communication.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

THANK YOU, finally.

...is what she said to me last night.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Ba dum shsh

 

[ruralsurg4now]

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Ba dum shsh

I was talking about when I delivered your pizza.

 

[studentp0x]

That's like saying having an expensive catered gourmet meal will help cure anorexia. The psychology underlying the problem is the issue here. Not just the physical manifestations.

Having to pay someone to have sex with you is a mark of shame in my book (and in most people's books, I would imagine). I don't see how that would boost anyone's confidence. Quite the opposite actually. I mean think about it - you are basically affirming that no one wants you, and you are so pathetic you have to pay someone. I don't think that's healthy, regardless of the 3 or 4 or whatever guys you claim saw all these hookers and became Don Juans.

Not to mention a guy whose only relationships with women have been via prostitution is likely going to have no clue how an actual relationship works. and no clue how to communicate within one. The OPS doesn't just need to learn about sex, he needs to learn about communication.

Oh please, are you aware of how many celebrities/famous people have banged escorts? Or how many high ranked CEOs, athletes, lawyers, docs, businessmen etc. ? Are you aware of how many of them weren't single?
Also, I wouldn't judge these people. Not everyone can get laid easily, and many will have tons of trouble just to land a below average woman. Do you suggest they continue being sexually frustrated or do something about it?

Personally though it doesn't appeal to me, but for most people, if you wanna bang a 10/10 or whatever... that's the only way to go. And for some it's the only way just to get laid period.

Seeing a few hookers eliminates that "must lose virginity" mindset that's very common among male virgins. No matter what you tell him, that mindset will get worse by the day. then it allows for a more relaxed approach towards women and a more confident one, which can lead to some casual sex with average looking chicks (maybe). This then makes it easier to approach/pursue women you're interested in for dating purposes.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Oh please, are you aware of how many celebrities/famous people have banged escorts? Or how many high ranked CEOs, athletes, lawyers, docs, businessmen etc. ? Are you aware of how many of them weren't single?

Personally it doesn't appeal to me, but for most people, if you wanna bang a 10/10 or whatever... that's the only way to go.

Seeing a few hookers eliminates that "must lose virginity" mindset that's very common among male virgins. No matter what you tell him, that mindset will get worse by the day. then it allows for a more relaxed approach towards women and a more confident one, which can lead to some casual sex with average looking chicks (maybe). This then makes it easier to approach/pursue women you're interested in for dating purposes.

Comparing a famous celebrity paying a hooker for fun to an older, insecure virgin paying a hooker because he can't find anyone else is a laughable comparison. The goals and mindsets are completely different. One is due to novelty and boredom, the other due to lack of options and shame.

 

[studentp0x]

Comparing a famous celebrity paying a hooker for fun to an older, insecure virgin paying a hooker because he can't find anyone else is a laughable comparison. The goals and mindsets are completely different. One is due to novelty and boredom, the other due to lack of options and shame.

You clearly said that someone who pays for sex is shameful.

The OP basically said his short term goal is losing his virginity. He can follow your advice and put himself out there, get rejected a buncha times and then be even more miserable about it. Or he can try a gradual approach by first getting the monkey off his back.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

You clearly said that someone who pays for sex is shameful.

The OP basically said his short term goal is losing his virginity. He can follow your advice and put himself out there, get rejected a buncha times and then be even more miserable about it. Or he can try a gradual approach by first getting the monkey off his back.

I do think it's shameful or at least unfortunate if someone has to resort (key words here) to that. Just because someone famous does it doesn't necessarily make it any less shameful, but it depends on the reasons. The difference is the rest of my post, where I outlined that doing it because you have no one else to go to is the most shameful part. Celebrities etc. don't often have that dynamic. They do it more for "fun" because they can get it elsewhere any time they want anyways. Not because they have to. There is a different level of "shame" there.

Put another way:

Paying for sex as an independent entity is not inherently embarrassing/a mark of shame.

HAVING to pay for sex because you have no other option is not the same thing.

I mean, studentpox, the very fact that you felt the need to clarify

(For the record, I've never gotten an escort and never plan to)

seems to indicate that you yourself think it's somewhat shameful as well.

What was my advice, exactly? I think you're misinterpreting me badly. I never told him to take classes on confidence., etc. I told him to stop whining and do something. Honestly whether that's a hooker or whatever, I don't care - just as long as he changes his self-defeating attitude,DOES something, and moves towards fixing the problem.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Also, just because a celebrity does something, doesn't mean we'd want to do it. That's poor logic.

 

[studentp0x]

I do think it's shameful or at least unfortunate if someone has to resort (key words here) to that. Just because someone famous does it doesn't necessarily make it any less shameful, but it depends on the reasons. The difference is the rest of my post, where I outlined that doing it because you have no one else to go to is the most shameful part. Celebrities etc. don't often have that dynamic. They do it more for "fun" because they can get it elsewhere any time they want anyways. Not because they have to. There is a different level of "shame" there.

Put another way:

Paying for sex as an independent entity is not inherently embarrassing/a mark of shame.

HAVING to pay for sex because you have no other option is not the same thing.

I mean, studentpox, the very fact that you felt the need to clarify


seems to indicate that you yourself think it's somewhat shameful as well.

What was my advice, exactly? I think you're misinterpreting me badly. I never told him to take classes on confidence., etc. I told him to stop whining and do something. Honestly whether that's a hooker or whatever, I don't care - just as long as he changes his self-defeating attitude,DOES something, and moves towards fixing the problem.

Why is it shameful that someone has to resort to paying in order to bang a 9/10? Most guys can't pull off a chick that hot ever, no matter what they do (besides rape basically or taking advantage at a party).
And some guys just can't get laid at all and/or maybe they don't want to bang a ugly or fat chick lol.

You're ignoring those 2 things.

 

[SunsFun]

I do think it's shameful or at least unfortunate if someone has to resort (key words here) to that. Just because someone famous does it doesn't necessarily make it any less shameful, but it depends on the reasons. The difference is the rest of my post, where I outlined that doing it because you have no one else to go to is the most shameful part. Celebrities etc. don't often have that dynamic. They do it more for "fun" because they can get it elsewhere any time they want anyways. Not because they have to. There is a different level of "shame" there.

Put another way:

Paying for sex as an independent entity is not inherently embarrassing/a mark of shame.

HAVING to pay for sex because you have no other option is not the same thing.

I mean, studentpox, the very fact that you felt the need to clarify


seems to indicate that you yourself think it's somewhat shameful as well.

What was my advice, exactly? I think you're misinterpreting me badly. I never told him to take classes on confidence., etc. I told him to stop whining and do something. Honestly whether that's a hooker or whatever, I don't care - just as long as he changes his self-defeating attitude,DOES something, and moves towards fixing the problem.

Not talking specifically about the OP but I recently watched a show about disfigured and handicapped people from England going to Netherlands to hire a prostitute and get laid. How do you feel about that? Do you think it's shameful?

There was a psychologist speaking and saying that this behavior just signifies their deeper problems of building mutually beneficial relationships with people like them or someone interested in dating them. I am personally not sure about this analysis. On one hand she is kind of right there is a problem. But on another hand it seems more like societal problem. Those people learn to feel this way as a result of others treating them this way. The "Secret" positive thinking type of encouragement seems to be a little out of place.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Is that an admission that English prostitutes are ugly?