Take a Funny Break!

[kiwibasket]

HI EVERYBODY! Man, I was looking at Dr. Nick quotes (from the Simpsons) and I just couldn't stop laughing. I figured some other people around here might need a little pick-me-up too.

"Calm down, you are going to give yourself skin failure!"
"The Coroner?!...I'm SO sick of that guy!"
(With investigative reporters knocking on door) "What a nice day.....I think I'll go out through the window!"
"These gloves came free with my toilet brush!"
(Singing while operating) "The kneebone's connected to the... something! The something's connected to the... red thing! The red thing's connected to my wristwatch! Uh-oh..."
(On commercial) "Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The "B" is for BARGAIN! "
(Explaining to Henry VIII why his wife cannot conceive) "It is my learned opinion that the Queen's womb is filled with sea serpents!"
"I can tell from here that you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches!" (applies leeches) "Now by the morning you'll be good as new. Or dead. The important thing is, we'll know."
"With my new diet, you can eat as much as you want, any time you want," to which Marge replied "And you'll lose weight?" to which Nick responded "You might! It's a free country!"
(While reading a Gray's Anatomy)"That's how we look like inside? It's digusting! Whoa! That lady swallowed a baby!"
(Seeing one of the patients whose operation he messed up) "Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr McGregg: With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"
"When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?"
(To Homer) "Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology."

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[Schaden Freud]

Bravo!

HI EVERYBODY! Man, I was looking at Dr. Nick quotes (from the Simpsons) and I just couldn't stop laughing. I figured some other people around here might need a little pick-me-up too.

"Calm down, you are going to give yourself skin failure!"
"The Coroner?!...I'm SO sick of that guy!"
(With investigative reporters knocking on door) "What a nice day.....I think I'll go out through the window!"
"These gloves came free with my toilet brush!"
(Singing while operating) "The kneebone's connected to the... something! The something's connected to the... red thing! The red thing's connected to my wristwatch! Uh-oh..."
(On commercial) "Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The "B" is for BARGAIN! "
(Explaining to Henry VIII why his wife cannot conceive) "It is my learned opinion that the Queen's womb is filled with sea serpents!"
"I can tell from here that you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches!" (applies leeches) "Now by the morning you'll be good as new. Or dead. The important thing is, we'll know."
"With my new diet, you can eat as much as you want, any time you want," to which Marge replied "And you'll lose weight?" to which Nick responded "You might! It's a free country!"
(While reading a Gray's Anatomy)"That's how we look like inside? It's digusting! Whoa! That lady swallowed a baby!"
(Seeing one of the patients whose operation he messed up) "Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr McGregg: With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"
"When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?"
(To Homer) "Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology."

 

[Depakote]

Dr. Nick's good, but he's no Dr. Zoidberg...

 

[geno2568]

you guys asked for it......

heres dr. Cox!!!!

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.
Elliot: I'm sorry, that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh, Backbone Barbie.

----

Dr. Cox: You know, the only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall. Now, it certainly is true that you'd at least be serving a purpose - specifically a surface for a jackass to lean against - but it could be argued that this is more useless than doing nothing.
[pause]
Dr. Cox: I know, it's a conundrum but don't you worry, I'll noodle it for you right here. Meanwhile, you just skip along, all right Shirley?

----

Dr. Cox: Well, gosh - I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don't tell this story often, but I remember when I was seven years old, one time I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest, and so I picked him up and I brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoebox.
[starts laughing]
Dr. Cox: I became a doctor for the same four reasons that everybody does - chicks, money, power and chicks.

 

[Dov]

HI EVERYBODY! Man, I was looking at Dr. Nick quotes (from the Simpsons) and I just couldn't stop laughing. I figured some other people around here might need a little pick-me-up too.

"Calm down, you are going to give yourself skin failure!"
"The Coroner?!...I'm SO sick of that guy!"
(With investigative reporters knocking on door) "What a nice day.....I think I'll go out through the window!"
"These gloves came free with my toilet brush!"
(Singing while operating) "The kneebone's connected to the... something! The something's connected to the... red thing! The red thing's connected to my wristwatch! Uh-oh..."
(On commercial) "Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The "B" is for BARGAIN! "
(Explaining to Henry VIII why his wife cannot conceive) "It is my learned opinion that the Queen's womb is filled with sea serpents!"
"I can tell from here that you have too much blood. Let's get you covered in leeches!" (applies leeches) "Now by the morning you'll be good as new. Or dead. The important thing is, we'll know."
"With my new diet, you can eat as much as you want, any time you want," to which Marge replied "And you'll lose weight?" to which Nick responded "You might! It's a free country!"
(While reading a Gray's Anatomy)"That's how we look like inside? It's digusting! Whoa! That lady swallowed a baby!"
(Seeing one of the patients whose operation he messed up) "Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr McGregg: With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"
"When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain getting damaged?"
(To Homer) "Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology."

 

[bretticus]

OMG, Simpsons is on right now and Dr. Nick was in it!

(Standing next to busted canister of ether) "Inflammable means flammable? What a country!"

 

[mintendo]

that lady swallowed a baby


classic

 

[SeaAngel45]

 

[medanthgirl]

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.
Elliot: I'm sorry, that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh, Backbone Barbie.

.

omg, i totally could here the inflection of *to* in my head!!!
great!

 

[tapotti]

My whole personal statement was composed of Dr. Nick quotes because he inspired me to become a physician myself!


Brian (from Family Guy): Are you sure it was a personal statment? Are you sure it wasn't...nothing?



Oh yeah.

 

[jackieMD2007]

You guys remember that episode of the Simpsons where Homer takes the MCAT?
Monorail Conductor Aptitude Test?

And one of the questions is: True/False "You can get mono from riding the monorail"