The Seven People You'll Meet on SDN (updated)

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MrEe

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I've been tossing around this idea for a while during my time (lurking) on these threads this year. I found a similar thread here by @scpod from 2005-2007 but think the topic deserves an update in recognition of the new decade, the rise of social media, and unique millennial / Gen Z quirks.

This is all in good fun - personally, I embody most of these types. Tell me what you liked, hated, and what types I missed.

So without further ado, the seven people you'll "meet" on SDN.

1. Mr./Ms. #Blessed: Often a welcome ray of sunshine on the threads, this pre-med is just SO #grateful and #blessed to be interviewing at so many #amazing medical schools. I love #Blessed for the childlike sense of wonder when s/he gets a Top 10 interview and is shocked despite her/his LizzyM of 78. Guys, we're going to be doctors!!!1!

2. The Astrologer: Elevates pre-med overanalysis to an art form slash full time job, and probably missed his/her true calling as a Moneyball-esque sports statistician or CIA agent. Need to know the exactly probability of a decision getting pushed back due to 8 inches of snowfall? Astrologer has a PhD dissertation on hand. Slightly different wording in the Columbia thank-you acknowledgment? They've run it through a textual analysis program. Portal down, for any length of time, for any reason? THE END IS NEAR.

3. The Sage: Often self-identifying as a non-traditional applicant, Sage believes they have infinite wisdom due to their extra 6 months / 10 years in the "real world." Sage is qualified to explain to you how a business/hospital/Adcom works because of their valuable experience in "consulting," "being a health policy advisor for Obama," "curing cancer," etc. Their posts are often helpful and often ever-so-slightly condescending.

4. The URM Truther: This kid not only asks your stats and complete date, but also asks whether you are URM, ya know, for research purposes. Most of us recognize that this innocent question goes beyond data collection by not-so-subtly implying that URMs have it easier in this process (lol, no). Thus begins yet another inflammatory and wholly unnecessary URM debate. -____-

5. The Chill Dude(tte): Often seen using phrases like "my dude" or "my man," or calling out Truther's casual racism without getting too amped (thank you!!!), Dude generally seems way too chill to be a real pre-med... except that he/she has posted >300x in the past year.

6. The Lurker: Says nothing and then randomly posts that s/he got into HMS. Troll or tastefully silent pre-med? The world may never know. I suspect many of these folks carry on busy social lives in the SDN DMs, but can't be sure.

7. The Dad: To the (at least) two Dads (of applicants) on SDN: I salute you. I honestly wish my dad were involved enough to call Adcoms and ask when decisions are being released, but I am 30 and he doesn't care.

8. Honorable mention to The Troll, didn't think you deserved a write up. xo

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Jeez. I have no idea what most of these terms mean nor their explanations. Pound sign I'm getting old.
 
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what about "the asking for a friend" or "the made a new account to keep my anonymous identity anonymous"
 
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@theonlytycrane ahaha! That would have been a good sub-type for Lurker, I think.

There are a few good ones I couldn't include... another favorite of mine is posters (especially those who are not Adcoms) who give extremely black-and-white opinions on school lists, mcat prep, etc. based on minimal information / context.
 
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I've been tossing around this idea for a while during my time (lurking) on these threads this year. I found a similar thread here by @scpod from 2005-2007 but think the topic deserves an update in recognition of the new decade, the rise of social media, and unique millennial / Gen Z quirks.

This is all in good fun - personally, I embody most of these types. Tell me what you liked, hated, and what types I missed.

So without further ado, the seven people you'll "meet" on SDN.

1. Mr./Mrs. #Blessed: Often a welcome ray of sunshine on the threads, this pre-med is just SO #grateful and #blessed to be interviewing at so many #amazing medical schools. I love #Blessed for the childlike sense of wonder when s/he gets a Top 10 interview and is shocked despite her/his LizzyM of 78. Guys, we're going to be doctors!!!1!

2. The Astrologer: Elevates pre-med overanalysis to an art form slash full time job, and probably missed his/her true calling as a Moneyball-esque sports statistician or CIA agent. Need to know the exactly probability of a decision getting pushed back due to 8 inches of snowfall? Astrologer has a PhD dissertation on hand. Slightly different wording in the Columbia thank-you acknowledgment? They've run it through a textual analysis program. Portal down, for any length of time, for any reason? THE END IS NEAR.

3. The Sage: Often self-identifying as a non-traditional applicant, Sage believes they have infinite wisdom due to their extra 6 months / 10 years in the "real world." Sage is qualified to explain to you how a business/hospital/Adcom works because of their valuable experience in "consulting," "being a health policy advisor for Obama," "curing cancer," etc. Their posts are often helpful and often ever-so-slightly condescending.

4. The URM Truther: This kid not only asks your stats and complete date, but also asks whether you are URM, ya know, for research purposes. Most of us recognize that this innocent question goes beyond data collection by not-so-subtly implying that URMs have it easier in this process (lol, no). Thus begins yet another inflammatory and wholly unnecessary URM debate. -____-

5. The Chill Dude(tte): Often seen using phrases like "my dude" or "my man," or calling out Truther's casual racism without getting too amped (thank you!!!), Dude generally seems way too chill to be a real pre-med... except that he/she has posted >300 messages in the past year.

6. The Lurker: Says nothing and then randomly posts that s/he got into HMS. Troll or tastefully silent pre-med? The world may never know. I suspect many of these folks carry on busy social lives in the SDN DMs, but can't be sure.

7. The Dad: To the (at least) two Dads (of applicants) on SDN: I salute you. I honestly wish my dad were involved enough to call Adcoms and ask when decisions are being released, but I am 30 and he doesn't care.

8. Honorable mention to The Troll, didn't think you deserved a write up. xo

Variant of 8:
8b. The Loose Cannon. They tend to start out rational, but then decompensate. Usually this occurs over time, but some can do it even in a single thread. Often invoke Burnett's Law. Can be triggered by anything, including sunlight. Tx = swift application of Banhammer to middle of forehead.
 
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Jeez. I have no idea what most of these terms mean nor their explanations. Pound sign I'm getting old.

Variant of 8:
8b. The Loose Cannon. They tend to start out rational, but then decompensate. Usually this occurs over time, but some can do it even in a single thread. Often invoke Burnett's Law. Can be triggered by anything, including sunlight. Tx = swift application of Banhammer to middle of forehead.

haha u guys are silly
 
Pound sign I'm getting old.

@TypeADissection I feel like my vernacular got 5 years younger when I decided to apply to medical school as an older person. Both from SDN and interviews. Peeps are keeping me young.

@Goro 8b is on point. I bet you could do an entire post on the 7 types of trolls...
 
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Not sure if this counts as a variant of the URM Truther, but I call the user who incessantly asks you Stats?? GPA?? sGPA?? MCAT?? MCAT breakdown?? LOI?? URM?? ECs?? State?? after you ignore them because you're not comfortable revealing your entire identity The Nag.
 
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@naway hahaha yes as someone who would be pretty easy to identify with basic info I have sooo much sympathy for this. The Nag is real and probably deserving of their own category.
 
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What about the Doesn't Know Search Bar Exists category of users? They ask the same question in like 6 different school specific threads in < 5 min
 
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You forgot the Necroposter. The one who responds to threads from 15 years ago as if they were just posted yesterday.

(Also I love this, I'm probably a mix of a few of them haha)
 
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There is also the Frank Sinatra (My Way) who disregards any and all advice because it doesn't matter if 40 different users tell them that their CPR class doesn't count as sufficient clinical experience or that they really shouldn't take the MCAT without having completed the prereqs. They are the exception to the rule, and y'all are just neurotic and don't know what you're talking about anyway!!
 
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Also this one is partly me and might fall under one of the current categories but

The Regurgitator: someone who just repeats advice they hear from other people when they really have no clue what they're talking about :p
 
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@freedoctor17 I think a lot of threads are just the Frank Sinatra, the Regurgitator, and the Absolutist (emphatic, black and white advice giver) going in circles
 
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I've been tossing around this idea for a while during my time (lurking) on these threads this year. I found a similar thread here by @scpod from 2005-2007 but think the topic deserves an update in recognition of the new decade, the rise of social media, and unique millennial / Gen Z quirks.

This is all in good fun - personally, I embody most of these types. Tell me what you liked, hated, and what types I missed.

So without further ado, the seven people you'll "meet" on SDN.

1. Mr./Ms. #Blessed: Often a welcome ray of sunshine on the threads, this pre-med is just SO #grateful and #blessed to be interviewing at so many #amazing medical schools. I love #Blessed for the childlike sense of wonder when s/he gets a Top 10 interview and is shocked despite her/his LizzyM of 78. Guys, we're going to be doctors!!!1!

2. The Astrologer: Elevates pre-med overanalysis to an art form slash full time job, and probably missed his/her true calling as a Moneyball-esque sports statistician or CIA agent. Need to know the exactly probability of a decision getting pushed back due to 8 inches of snowfall? Astrologer has a PhD dissertation on hand. Slightly different wording in the Columbia thank-you acknowledgment? They've run it through a textual analysis program. Portal down, for any length of time, for any reason? THE END IS NEAR.

3. The Sage: Often self-identifying as a non-traditional applicant, Sage believes they have infinite wisdom due to their extra 6 months / 10 years in the "real world." Sage is qualified to explain to you how a business/hospital/Adcom works because of their valuable experience in "consulting," "being a health policy advisor for Obama," "curing cancer," etc. Their posts are often helpful and often ever-so-slightly condescending.

4. The URM Truther: This kid not only asks your stats and complete date, but also asks whether you are URM, ya know, for research purposes. Most of us recognize that this innocent question goes beyond data collection by not-so-subtly implying that URMs have it easier in this process (lol, no). Thus begins yet another inflammatory and wholly unnecessary URM debate. -____-

5. The Chill Dude(tte): Often seen using phrases like "my dude" or "my man," or calling out Truther's casual racism without getting too amped (thank you!!!), Dude generally seems way too chill to be a real pre-med... except that he/she has posted >300x in the past year.

6. The Lurker: Says nothing and then randomly posts that s/he got into HMS. Troll or tastefully silent pre-med? The world may never know. I suspect many of these folks carry on busy social lives in the SDN DMs, but can't be sure.

7. The Dad: To the (at least) two Dads (of applicants) on SDN: I salute you. I honestly wish my dad were involved enough to call Adcoms and ask when decisions are being released, but I am 30 and he doesn't care.

8. Honorable mention to The Troll, didn't think you deserved a write up. xo

Um excuse me? They do.
 
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4. The URM Truther: This kid not only asks your stats and complete date, but also asks whether you are URM, ya know, for research purposes. Most of us recognize that this innocent question goes beyond data collection by not-so-subtly implying that URMs have it easier in this process (lol, no). Thus begins yet another inflammatory and wholly unnecessary URM debate. -____-

Um excuse me? They do.

Pls don't start now this thread was fun
 
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This. Would love to see the gender breakdown of the Frank Sinatras :whistle:
I feel like you could be making an implication either direction here lol, since both women and men get stereotyped as stubborn/know-it-alls in different ways.
 
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I feel like you could be making an implication either direction here lol, since both women and men get stereotyped as stubborn/know-it-alls in different ways.

Totally. We are all guilty. ;)
 
9. The "Sauron"
Makes this thread after some brief observation of SDNers.

10. "Wait, no.5 is me!"
Tries to defend their character by calling themselves out first. :D

I am terrible at this. Where is the tutorial?
 
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#Blessed to be in this thread my dudes, the liklihood of it being lit is 87.5% based on the historical trend of previous posts. As a non trad who herded goats for a few years in sumatra I think its probably a good idea if you do disclose if you are URM or not when asking for school lists. I made sure to do so so when I was asking for my son. While I have you here Help me decide UCSF or Harvard!!!.

Am I doing this right?
 
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I'm gonna do this cuz it needs to be done:

The Goro: An often blunt distributor of knowledge who has added a huge amount of value to this site. Many users love his comments until he calls them out, at which point they "never liked him anyway", claim a preclinical professor couldn't possibly know about all four years of medical school, or indignantly assert that a DO school professor can't help people get into MD school. These users often resort to ad hominem attacks and get themselves banned, at which point they shed all pretense and become full-time trolls.

Yes, he gets his own category. It's his world, y'all. We're just living in it.
 
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There is also the Frank Sinatra (My Way) who disregards any and all advice because it doesn't matter if 40 different users tell them that their CPR class doesn't count as sufficient clinical experience or that they really shouldn't take the MCAT without having completed the prereqs. They are the exception to the rule, and y'all are just neurotic and don't know what you're talking about anyway!!
This is a phenotype found with 8b!
 
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I'm gonna do this cuz it needs to be done:

The Goro: An often blunt distributor of knowledge who has added a huge amount of value to this site. Many users love his comments until he calls them out, at which point they "never liked him anyway", claim a preclinical professor couldn't possibly know about all four years of medical school, or indignantly assert that a DO school professor can't help people get into MD school. These users often resort to ad hominem attacks and get themselves banned, at which point they shed all pretense and become full-time trolls.

Yes, he gets his own category. It's his world, y'all. We're just living in it.
And here I am thinking I was a sage, at best.
 
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I particularly enjoy how this decade's list is clearly numbered in easy-to-read segments as opposed to the long paragraphs of 2007. Those clickbait buzzfeed-type articles are everywhere!

Now I need to relearn how to read something longer than a paragraph before school starts...
 
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What about the constantly pessimistic SDNer?

I know of a few but I won't name names. Some of them have actually become known for their funny but incredibly depressing comments.

Also the painfully unaware SDNer. This SDNer can be unaware in any number of conversations.
 
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The Inexplicably Inept: Unable to come up with a school list or determine if being a medical assistant counts as clinical experience despite a 528 and multiple publications.
 
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Not sure I’m any of these? Where’s the self absorbed sarcastic narcissist?
 
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I'm gonna do this cuz it needs to be done:

The Goro: An often blunt distributor of knowledge who has added a huge amount of value to this site. Many users love his comments until he calls them out, at which point they "never liked him anyway", claim a preclinical professor couldn't possibly know about all four years of medical school, or indignantly assert that a DO school professor can't help people get into MD school. These users often resort to ad hominem attacks and get themselves banned, at which point they shed all pretense and become full-time trolls.

Yes, he gets his own category. It's his world, y'all. We're just living in it.

You've got something on your nose, right there.
 
I feel attacked
Me too. I'm pretty laid back, don't like to argue too much or write a perfect argument, but I call out anti-URM/anti-women stuff from time to time.
 
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The Keyboard Warrior: Wants to show he or she is very very smart. likely an applicant, M1 or M2. More than willing to write a 10 paragraph argument on why undergrad or med school name matters or not, on the importance of an EC, or even develop some statistics to post. Dispenses straightforward, logical advice from time to time
 
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The Keyboard Warrior: Wants to show he or she is very very smart. likely an applicant, M1 or M2. More than willing to write a 10 paragraph argument on why undergrad or med school name matters or not, on the importance of an EC, or even develop some statistics to post. Dispenses straightforward, logical advice from time to time

This all the way. You respond to some guys comment, usually because you're trying to be funny, next thing you know he's written short to medium length novel and signed you up for a debate on prime time TV.
 
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This all the way. You respond to some guys comment, usually because you're trying to be funny, next thing you know he's written short to medium length novel and signed you up for a debate on prime time TV.
Yeah I've seen that happen from time to time, lol.
 
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You all are evil geniuses. I have never laughed so hard at a thread before.

I would like to propose the Irrational high school/pre-med gunner for those dead set on being a cardiac surgeon or neurosurgeon at age 18 with no plans on enjoying their young adulthood in the slightest.

I would also like to see a phenotype addressing the Cal Northstate/Carribean indenials, those who attempt defend their decision to attend these schools with their lives, if necessary.
 
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I would like to propose the Irrational high school/pre-med gunner for those dead set on being a cardiac surgeon or neurosurgeon at age 18 with no plans on enjoying their young adulthood in the slightest.
Or the slightly older version where they complain about getting slammed with a 517 or a 3.88
 
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The Self-Loathing OMS:

The self-loathing OMS is somehow both convinced that Osteopathic Medical training makes them a pariah akin to a leper, but also convinced that they “did the right thing” for their situation.

If the topic of the 2020 merger comes up, the self-loathing OMS has been known to gnash their teeth and scrape at their stress acne with bits of broken pottery, all while wearing burlap and a coating of fine ash, preferably the ashes of their Allopathic rejection letters.
 
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