Things I Learn From My Patients

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Well on the internet it says that drinking bleach water will rid my body of toxins...ohh are those birkenstocks!

-Mike
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Ok well I am not in the medical field.....My nanna used to be a cleaner at King Edward Memorial Hospital (Subiaco Perth WA)

I have been on sick leave for 6 months after having a AVM in my brain rupture in March.....I spent 9 days in hospital then....I got back on November 1 for a crainiotomy (sp).....

Anyway my aunt put me on to this thread when I was bored one day.....

What I would like to say is thank you.....in the last 2 years I have been to hospital 4 times (after the surgery in November)......1st time a car accident.....that should have killed me & my BF.....we hit 2 trees ate 110kph I was the driver......I got thrown out the back window.....did not break a dam thing al though know one is sure how.....the second time was after this bleed.....the third I just got taken back to emergency after collapsing but not passing out in the video store.....

Cars & trees do not mix.....

The care I recieved everytime was fantastic.....I just want to thank every one for all they do becasue I know that it is rarely apprecited.....

Anyway this thread has eased my fears about sugery & given me a good laugh.....

Sorry for the lengthy post....

Thanks....
 
Never question the crazy patient trying to 302 herself how she scores free weed on the street. :eek:
 
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Hey, I'm a former EMT and love this thread. Are there any similar that you guys know of for Truck crews? I have a couple to share, but not being an ED worker not sure if I can post them here.
 
VonKarolinas said:
Hey, I'm a former EMT and love this thread. Are there any similar that you guys know of for Truck crews? I have a couple to share, but not being an ED worker not sure if I can post them here.
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If I'm not mistaken, there are quite a few stories on this thread from EMTs, paramedics, etc., some of whom are now med students or doctors. Another great thread good for some much-needed laughter and some Ewww's is "Craziest Trauma." It's here in the Emergency Medicine area.
 
drlisa0318 said:
If I'm not mistaken, there are quite a few stories on this thread from EMTs, paramedics, etc., some of whom are now med students or doctors. Another great thread good for some much-needed laughter and some Ewww's is "Funniest Chief Complaints." I believe it's in the Interns area.
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Thanks, I didn't even notice as I was reading. Ok I'll start with one from the early days when I was just freshly licensed and working.

I live in a very rural area in the south, lots of farm land. We got a call one night from a woman that her daughter was threatening to kill herself. We arrive at the scene and the mom informs us her daughter is 30 but lives at home. She leads us out behind a barn and points to a tree. Leaning against the tree is a ladder. There, shimmying out onto a branch is a grossly obese naked woman. She had a rope tied around her throat. I looked at the Paramedic and he said "Just let her do it". I was stunned, until I realized why. she tied off the other end of the rope and *snap* the branch broke and she hit the ground, no worse for wear.

I guess what I learned was, if you are going to hang yourself, make sure that whatever you tie off to can support your weight.
 
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BTW...I just noticed (and corrected) a mistake I made regarding the name of the other thread. It's "Craziest Trauma" here in the Emergency Medicine area, not "Funniest Chief Complaints." That's what I get for not checking my facts before saving a post.
 
drlisa0318 said:
BTW...I just noticed (and corrected) a mistake I made regarding the name of the other thread. It's "Craziest Trauma" here in the Emergency Medicine area, not "Funniest Chief Complaints." That's what I get for not checking my facts before saving a post.
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Thanks I'll check it out, though I did find the funniest complaints thread. You ED docs and nurses don't get nearly the recogniztion you deserve for what you do. Keep up the good works.
 
Taking 24 Tylenol at the end of a dead end street, alone, in you car, then having second thoughts and taking 20 benadryl and driving to the nearest gas station where EMS can pick you up will earn you a lengthy stay in the ED, result in having your stomach pumped, then another semi lengthy stay in ICU.
 
Oh, and claiming you are suicidal to come into the ER, then only seconds after telling the nurse that you are suicidal asking "Whats for dinner?" will not earn you points with the staff. It will probably result in points being taken away and might even earn you a Foley.
 
Ok I have learnt.....when you go to commit suicide you call the ambulance first.....

This is sadly my cousin.....we have lost count how many times she has tried to top her self.....
 
So, this is a thank you to everyone in the EM field, whether you be doctors, ambulance crews or anyone else. A thank you a long time coming (this happened @23 years ago, but I still think of it often) because There is no other place or way for me to do this.

I live in Wisconsin. My father was in Arizona just outside of Phoenix (for stupid reasins irrelivant to this post) and fell asleep at the wheel.

To illustrate the depth of my thanks, here is a list of his broken bones:

2-3 bones broken in each foot.
Both ankles
Left tib
Right tib/fib
Right patella (shattered)
Right femur
Right hip
Separated pelvic girdle
6 ribs
Right shoulder (required multiple pins to reassemble)
Right humerus
One bone in left forearm
Both bones in right forearm
Both wrists
Jaw (in 3 places)
Left cheekbone

Aside from the breaks, he had numerous internal injuries.

Flight for Life + Well-Trained EM crew = I still have a dad.


After scraping him off the road and piecing him back together, I'm fairly sure everyone involved needed a good laugh...









And after reading this thread, I am fairly sure that there were a few idiots around at the time to provide one.



I don't care if you are in Phoenix or not, if you were involved in that incident or not. Thank you all. Were it not for every one of you, there would be many many people without a loved one.
 
Darth meatloaf,

Wow just wow!!! Your dad is a very lucky man to survive that accident.

This thread has got me hooked. I swear it has to be one of my all time favorite threads on SDN.
 
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I learned that I have a unique ability to tell the difference between whether I have had a BM or that I have urinated.
I never thought of it as a unique talent until just the other day when noticing that multiple patients could not tell a difference. "So which was it, did you go pee and notice the blood or go poo and notice the blood? (had to use small words as BM and urinate were outside of the vocabulary and slightly offensive)"
Nobody knew! :scared:

I am excited to learn that I have a talent! I'm going to recommend to the city that a statue of myself be placed in front of the library with an engraved plaque.
 
Wackie said:
I am excited to learn that I have a talent! I'm going to recommend to the city that a statue of myself be placed in front of the library with an engraved plaque.
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Only so long as the phrase "go poo" is somewhere on the plaque.:rolleyes:
 
Throwing a poo caked towel at your nurse who is trying to clean you up because you are too fried out of your mind to even realize you have messed on yourself will get you handcuffed to the bed and placed in shackles as well as having to lay in your own poo.
 
Apparently it is possible to have multiple piercings, tattoo's, and even tattoo's inside your mouth :scared: yet still be afraid of needles.
 
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ERMudPhud said:
Apparently it is possible to have multiple piercings, tattoo's, and even tattoo's inside your mouth :scared: yet still be afraid of needles.
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I think we had a discussion of this in an earlier part of a thread with another similar case. It isn't fear of needles, but rather the feeling of helplessness which I believe causes this. When you are getting a tatoo or a piercing you are in control of the situation whereas when you are sick you are not in control. I don't think it is a fear of needles so much of the lack of control and the fact that needing help makes them feel less macho then before. Also, if they are in general pain from whatever such reason they are in there for perhaps though they may make it seem like it is the needle maybe it is general pain they are feeling that makes them act weird. But I do sincerely believe that lack of being in control of the situation and feeling less macho makes people act weird in situations like this in which they wouldn't normally when.
 
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gujuDoc said:
I think we had a discussion of this in an earlier part of a thread with another similar case. It isn't fear of needles, but rather the feeling of helplessness which I believe causes this. When you are getting a tatoo or a piercing you are in control of the situation whereas when you are sick you are not in control. I don't think it is a fear of needles so much of the lack of control and the fact that needing help makes them feel less macho then before. Also, if they are in general pain from whatever such reason they are in there for perhaps though they may make it seem like it is the needle maybe it is general pain they are feeling that makes them act weird. But I do sincerely believe that lack of being in control of the situation and feeling less macho makes people act weird in situations like this in which they wouldn't normally when.
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Its still funny as ****. I dont care who you are, its funny. I really think you could sell some of the stuff that we see in the ER. Or at least sell admission for people to come and watch because some of the patients we get are just priceless.
 
rose351 said:
Its still funny as ****. I dont care who you are, its funny. I really think you could sell some of the stuff that we see in the ER. Or at least sell admission for people to come and watch because some of the patients we get are just priceless.
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Definitely not disagreeing with you there. It would be cool to see a lot of ER docs join together to collaborate on a book with their funniest and/or craziest moments in the ER somewhat like this thread where people are sharing experiences they've had in the ER but all compiled in a book.

I would definitely buy that book in a heartbeat and read it because some of the craziest yet in its own perverse way funniest things I've read occurring in medicine seem to occur in this department.
 
gujuDoc said:
Definitely not disagreeing with you there. It would be cool to see a lot of ER docs join together to collaborate on a book with their funniest and/or craziest moments in the ER somewhat like this thread where people are sharing experiences they've had in the ER but all compiled in a book.

I would definitely buy that book in a heartbeat and read it because some of the craziest yet in its own perverse way funniest things I've read occurring in medicine seem to occur in this department.
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There already is such a book---Emergency. It uses contributions from doctors and nurses.
 
I just got a copy of it for $1.38. Rock on. I'm excited now.
 
ERMudPhud said:
Later I learned that you are never too old for chemo. I saw a 98 year old demented lady with metastatic breast cancer with no PO intake for a week secondary to nausea from her chemo. I swear if they found a tumor on King Tut's mummy you could find an oncologist to give him chemo. Later when his kidney's were found to be non-functional you could find someone to dialyze him too.
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Those oncologists must've gone to school with the vet who wanted to give chemo to one of our cats. Said cat was 25+ years old and had just been given radioactive iodine for a thyroid growth. When the vet (a so-called specialist) called me with the latest test results (kidney cancer), I told him that Alfredo (the cat) was so sick that he'd gone to the litterbox and then just stayed in there because he was too week to get out. I asked Specialist if he really thought chemo was a good option for this cat. He said, "We have another cat his age who's doing just fine on chemo." Yeah, right.

We immediately turned around and took Alfredo in to see his regular vet for a second opinion, and he was appalled. He recommended that we euthanize. I later asked Sane vet if Specialist was smoking crack. Evidently, this was funny to Sane Vet because (unknown to me) he'd trained under Specialist.

Oh, and I learned from House MD that it's never lupus.;)
 
ISR said:
See...this is why someone needs to invent "brain bleach" Some things once seen/heard/read cannot be unseen/unheard/unread
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Welcome to GAFF, where liberal amounts of brain bleach are automatically handed out to all new members. Spend a little time reading there and you'll see why.:eek:
 
ISR said:
See...this is why someone needs to invent "brain bleach" Some things once seen/heard/read cannot be unseen/unheard/unread
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Oh, I bet regular bleach would cross the Blood-Brain Barrier and do the job just fine. All you need to do is drink it, better yet, go with the straight IV push.

Now of course I'm going to hear 3 stories of how people did just that and feel horrible.
 
exi said:
Where the fourth season of "It's never lupus!" starts 9/25.

I shall be watching!
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notlupus.png


edit: zomg, my 666th post... how appropriate :horns:
 
I learned that if you're a C6 quad with a poorly controlled TBI-induced seizure disorder (from MVC 14 years ago), it's a bad idea to drive. Chances are good you'll have a seizure, ram into the back of a semi at highway speed, roll your van and turn yourself into a C3 quad.
 
Miami_med said:
Apparently House never did PBL.
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Obviously not.

In PBL, the diagnosis is always either SLE, pheochromocytoma or atrial myxoma.

My, how I don't miss my old PBL days.

Take care,
Jeff
 
If you have a dilated cardiomyopathy with an EF of 30%, and have signed out inpatient several times, refusing an ICD, and having runs of VTach - and you come to my ED complaining of SOB and ankle swelling (which you state is new and only 2 days old), with some nonsensical and confusing story of why you're not taking your medicines, and we find your HR to be 150, and you have a positive myoglobin and troponin, by all means, tell me up front that you'll be leaving AMA in the morning (at the latest) - to go to your sister's funeral.

(I waited until today to make sure he didn't turn up on the local news, having died on his flight.)
 
Apollyon said:
by all means, tell me up front that you'll be leaving AMA in the morning (at the latest) - to go to your sister's funeral.
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I actually got so fed up w/ a patient the other night who wanted to leave AMA that I finally asked the question I've wanted to since I started this..."if you don't want to be in the hospital, why did you come to the hospital?" He shut up and stayed for a couple of days (before signing out AMA).
 
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Suprisingly, neither THC nor ibuprofen is terribly cardioprotective. Guy came in after 48 hrs of crushing substernal chest pain after having spent the first 24 hours before smoking (non-laced per his report) weed and then being treated with motrin today by the women who came with him to the ED. POC troponin was >50. Fortunately, he was in the cath lab before his wife showed up.
 
Depakote said:
Oh, I bet regular bleach would cross the Blood-Brain Barrier and do the job just fine. All you need to do is drink it, better yet, go with the straight IV push.

Now of course I'm going to hear 3 stories of how people did just that and feel horrible.
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Works best if you drink the bleach then set yourself on fire.

Works even better if you do it while sitting in the middle of your living room and singing hymns.
 
Jeff698 said:
Obviously not.

In PBL, the diagnosis is always either SLE, pheochromocytoma or atrial myxoma.

My, how I don't miss my old PBL days.

Take care,
Jeff
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Don't forget MCAD.

gutonc said:
I actually got so fed up w/ a patient the other night who wanted to leave AMA that I finally asked the question I've wanted to since I started this..."if you don't want to be in the hospital, why did you come to the hospital?" He shut up and stayed for a couple of days (before signing out AMA).
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*slow clap*
 
MirrorTodd said:
What would hurt more? Drinking Drano or HCl?
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That's a really tough one if you've ever seen the EGD of a man who survived the drano ingestion. Turned out he TRULY didn't want to go to jail...... :idea:
 
DropkickMurphy said:
The worst was a lady who was on a Venturi mask at home and decided she just HAD to have a cigarette. She pulled the mask off to one side and *FOOOM!* Next thing you know.....she's on her back in the ED gasping for air. Burned flesh, hair and melted plastic......*shudders* The smell made me nauseous. The one type of ICU I will not work in is a burn unit.
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Don't forget to be alert for the helpful tech who gives the restrained psych pt a lighter........ and when he and the stretcher catch on fire....... move him to another bed (foam smolders for DAYS):(
 
PAJenn said:
CC: "I took too much vicodin"

Pt states she was prescribed vicodin for a toothache, took one tablet when she woke up and is NOT SURE if she took a second tablet an hour later when she still had pain. In total she was only sure that she took ONE. She called poison control and they told her liver failure was a side effect so she rushed to the ER to have her liver checked. needless to say she wasted a bed for about an hour while we waited for her useless LFTs, that she insisted on having.
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New prescription? Maybe a simple pill count would have appeased her......
 
2BAnIDrNoMore said:
This thread is hilarious; I look forward to EM! :laugh:

The following isn't as funny as most of the situations on this thread but I'll share a past opt exp:

I learned that if your patient has to go to the bathroom, it's perfectly ok for him to pull down his pants, in the exam room, and pee in your trash can. Luckily, he was polite enough to say, "Oooooookkkkkk honey, I"m all finshed in here...you can come in now!"

He could of at least washed his hands!
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Beats the visiting wife who took a dump in the sink cuz "someone was in the bathroom".......... and yes, solid stool :mad:
 
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