Withdraw from university twice? Please help

[aimehigh]

I feel like a failure. I really need lot of help. I came into UC Berkeley as a freshman two years ago. First semester, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and enrolled with the disability program on campus. Then in spring, I was disowned by my parents and got sexually assaulted by a gang member. As a result, I was facing homelessness and being so young, I withdrew from the trauma and anxiety. The rest of the semester I stayed with my boyfriend. I endured domestic abuse and homelessness with him. That summer, I got raped again by another person but didn't realize I was raped from the shock. And my boyfriend and I became pregnant. I was sleeping on the streets and wanting to come back, even ended up at a women's shelter or on the streets on most days. So that fall, I did a SAP and got accepted. I didn't get my Regents' Scholarship back until I appealed for it that following semester. I got an A that semester in fall on my reduced course load and wrote on my SAP plan that I would be getting an abortion because I was so scared. I thought that's what I should do for college and I got accepted back into school. I changed my mind by the end of the fall and kept the baby.

Then on Spring of my second year, I continued going to school, gave birth and ended up with a C. I was only in that class for a month and I didn't have childcare and had a horrible recovery. I also endured more Domestic Violence and he got arrested so I was going through a lot. That summer I had to continue with school and took my baby to class. Now on Fall, the trauma of everything started hitting me and I got really depressed and tried committing suicide. But I got through it but now I feel very depressed. This semester, I am taking two classes and on one of them I switched into it a month later due to trouble with scheduling. And then my daughter has been in my care for three weeks due to high fevers and ear infections so I'm severely behind. My college said I'm facing dismissal if I cannot pass and I feel hopeless. I don't want to lose my scholarship or be dismissed. I'm worried if I leave that they won't let me come back since I already withdrew once before. I'm on a strict SAP contract. I just don't know what to do. I have severe depression, trauma, and anxiety. I also had Postpartum Depression for a long time. I will be homeless if I leave but if I stay and don't withdraw in the next week, I might get dismissed. I'm doing well in one class but the work in the other is too much. I also am not allowed to take an Incomplete due to the SAP contract and my college notified me I will face dismissal if I don't pass. Please help me.

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[bschaefer97]

Is your goal to go to medical school? If so, this reply might sound harsh, but trust that it is meant kindly.

Your situation is awful, and I have severe empathy for you. You've really been through a lot. That being said, medical school adcoms will certainly understand your situation. However, this is only if you are able to get grades that warrant you a spot at their school. A good MCAT can really help bad grades, but can't fix a GPA lower than around 3.4 or so. That being said, if you think you can make it through these next years, get a decent GPA (3.5-3.6+), while still studying very hard for the MCAT, I would stay in school. If not, this might not be the right time for you to be worrying about medical school, as there are other things going on in your life that might need your attention first.

Whatever course of action you take, I hope this helps in some way. Again, apologies for your situation.

 

[Lawpy]

I'm very sorry to hear about your woes OP and I really hope things get better for you soon. I'm going to tag @LizzyM @Goro @gyngyn @gonnif to help you out on the matter. Best wishes!

 

[aimehigh]

Is your goal to go to medical school? If so, this reply might sound harsh, but trust that it is meant kindly.

Your situation is awful, and I have severe empathy for you. You've really been through a lot. That being said, medical school adcoms will certainly understand your situation. However, this is only if you are able to get grades that warrant you a spot at their school. A good MCAT can really help bad grades, but can't fix a GPA lower than around 3.4 or so. That being said, if you think you can make it through these next years, get a decent GPA (3.5-3.6+), while still studying very hard for the MCAT, I would stay in school. If not, this might not be the right time for you to be worrying about medical school, as there are other things going on in your life that might need your attention first.

Whatever course of action you take, I hope this helps in some way. Again, apologies for your situation.

Yes, my goal is to go to medical school and become an emergency physician or surgeon. Thank you for replying and for your sympathy. So far, I have three grades on my transcript for college and those are the A, B- and C. My GPA is 2.9. I'm hoping if I withdraw, take a year off, and start doing better and get As and only a few Bs that I can graduate with a really high GPA. I want to get a GPA of 3.9 when I graduate. I know right now it's not plausible due to my depression, PTSD, and anxiety but I can in a few years too. I just don't want to leave and not get a chance to come back to Cal. I worked really hard to get here and get a full scholarship. Thanks for any advice.

 

[Goro]

OP, I am very sorry to hear of your woes. As of right now,. medical school, and even college has to take aback seat to your mental health needs. At the rate you're going, you're to fail out anyway. So it's time to withdraw, get help and then try to turn your life around, which includes getting your family life stabilized. You're between a rock and hard place so now it's time to talk to any many social workers as you can.

As harsh as this sounds, consider having relatives take care of your child for awhile.

So, therapy, STAT.

I feel like a failure. I really need lot of help. I came into UC Berkeley as a freshman two years ago. First semester, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and enrolled with the disability program on campus. Then in spring, I was disowned by my parents and got sexually assaulted by a gang member. As a result, I was facing homelessness and being so young, I withdrew from the trauma and anxiety. The rest of the semester I stayed with my boyfriend. I endured domestic abuse and homelessness with him. That summer, I got raped again by another person but didn't realize I was raped from the shock. And my boyfriend and I became pregnant. I was sleeping on the streets and wanting to come back, even ended up at a women's shelter or on the streets on most days. So that fall, I did a SAP and got accepted. I didn't get my Regents' Scholarship back until I appealed for it that following semester. I got an A that semester in fall on my reduced course load and wrote on my SAP plan that I would be getting an abortion because I was so scared. I thought that's what I should do for college and I got accepted back into school. I changed my mind by the end of the fall and kept the baby.

Then on Spring of my second year, I continued going to school, gave birth and ended up with a C. I was only in that class for a month and I didn't have childcare and had a horrible recovery. I also endured more Domestic Violence and he got arrested so I was going through a lot. That summer I had to continue with school and took my baby to class. Now on Fall, the trauma of everything started hitting me and I got really depressed and tried committing suicide. But I got through it but now I feel very depressed. This semester, I am taking two classes and on one of them I switched into it a month later due to trouble with scheduling. And then my daughter has been in my care for three weeks due to high fevers and ear infections so I'm severely behind. My college said I'm facing dismissal if I cannot pass and I feel hopeless. I don't want to lose my scholarship or be dismissed. I'm worried if I leave that they won't let me come back since I already withdrew once before. I'm on a strict SAP contract. I just don't know what to do. I have severe depression, trauma, and anxiety. I also had Postpartum Depression for a long time. I will be homeless if I leave but if I stay and don't withdraw in the next week, I might get dismissed. I'm doing well in one class but the work in the other is too much. I also am not allowed to take an Incomplete due to the SAP contract and my college Dean is saying I will face dismissal if I don't pass. Please help me.

 

[aimehigh]

I'm very sorry to hear about your woes OP and I really hope things get better for you soon. I'm going to tag @LizzyM @Goro @gyngyn @gonnif to help you out on the matter. Best wishes!

Thank you for your sympathy and tagging your friends. I would love any help and insight into my situation. I'm so scared and I don't want to ruin my future in the medical field. I really want to be a trauma surgeon.

 

[oopsaloo]

Aimehigh, sounds like you've been through a lot in the past and now. I'm impressed at your courage to overcome the hardships you faced.

@Goro, who is an admissions committee member, has posted really good advice above. He's also often said something along the lines of this process of applying to medical school being a marathon, not a sprint.

Don't feel pressured to do everything immediately and rush through things. Do things at a pace that you're comfortable with, from managing your own health to taking care of your daughter to college. Don't be afraid to take a step back. Sometimes it's necessary, and often times this "step back" is actually a step forward in your life as you sort things out. I think if you explain your life story and the hardships you've overcome you'll get another chance at college in the future.

Also, there are definitely people who have attended medical school in their 30s. So your dream is still achievable, even if it happens a few years later than you expected.

In short: Don't give up hope! Your education, and medical school, are not running away. They'll still be around after you've gotten your health back in order. If you do choose to withdraw, explore a medical leave of absence.

 

[aimehigh]

OP, I am very sorry to hear of your woes. As of right now,. medical school, and even college has to take aback seat to your mental health needs. At the rate you're going, you're to fail out anyway. So it's time to withdraw, get help and then try to turn your life around, which includes getting your family life stabilized. You're between a rock and hard place so now it's time to talk to any many social workers as you can.

As harsh as this sounds, consider having relatives take care of your child for awhile.

So, therapy, STAT.

Thank you for replying to me. I would love to take therapy and turn my life around. I'm scared if I can take classes at community college, and even more, I don't know how I would do this. I'm going to be probably by myself. My family doesn't speak to me and neither do my relatives from Asia or friends. I've tried and they refuted my attempts. I'm so scared. Thank you for the encouragement and I don't want to feel like I threw my life away.

 

[aimehigh]

Aimehigh, sounds like you've been through a lot in the past and now. I'm impressed at your courage to overcome the hardships you faced.

@Goro, who is an admissions committee member, has posted really good advice above. He's also often said something along the lines of this process of applying to medical school being a marathon, not a sprint.

Don't feel pressured to do everything immediately and rush through things. Do things at a pace that you're comfortable with, from managing your own health to taking care of your daughter to college. Don't be afraid to take a step back. Sometimes it's necessary, and often times this "step back" is actually a step forward in your life as you sort things out. I think if you explain your life story and the hardships you've overcome you'll get another chance at college in the future.

Also, there are definitely people who have attended medical school in their 30s. So your dream is still achievable, even if it happens a few years later than you expected.

In short: Don't give up hope! Your education, and medical school, are not running away. They'll still be around after you've gotten your health back in order. If you do choose to withdraw, explore a medical leave of absence.

Thank you for replying! Should I stick it out and try my best in the last 10 days and hope I pass because if I don't I will be dismissed? I am passing one of my classes and the other one is the hard one that I got into a month late and I don't have many options. I might end up getting another B and C. Will that be worse than withdrawing? I don't know anymore and I feel the life sucked out of me right now.

 

[Goro]

Thank you for replying to me. I would love to take therapy and turn my life around. I'm scared if I can take classes at community college, and even more, I don't know how I would do this. I'm going to be probably by myself. My family doesn't speak to me and neither do my relatives from Asia or friends. I've tried and they refuted my attempts. I'm so scared. Thank you for the encouragement and I don't want to feel like I threw my life away.

With all that is going on with you right now, do you foresee passing enough to keep your scholarship?

If not, then what's the point of continuing your coursework?

If yes, then can you do so without worsening your mental health?