Sexual harassment from interviewer

[RurouniKarly]

I'm with @md-2020, you guys must not hang out with a lot of college students... This kind of thing is very common at frat parties. I'll bet a few of the offenders are premeds too. It's not right, but the majority of the time people move on with their lives. Like OP would've done if she had never seen him again.

"Boys assault girls sexually all the time in college, so it's not a big deal and you should stop being such a *****"

Really? Like, really? You honestly think it's okay for men to follow women around, grabbing their genitals and trying to force themselves on them just because "it's common at frat parties"? Do you think that men who assault women like this should just have their crimes swept under the rug? That they should be immune from the consequences of committing assault?

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[RurouniKarly]

Nobody is "making excuses" for the guy. What we are questioning is whether or not the punishment of having his life ruined is in proportion to the crime of groping.

Would he have been accepted to medical in the first place if the school knew he'd sexually assaulted someone? This is serious, and the school needs to know. It'll be up to school whether they expel him over the incident, but regardless, they need to know and preferably before he assaults one of his classmates or patients.

 

[bumblebee611]

Yes, but I am also curious why "dozens" of people didn't feel the need to step in.

Probably because they all took your rape-apologist attitude and figured it happens all the time so it's not their responsibility to speak up and try and stop something that is wrong.

 

[SteveRope123]

Honestly, I'm not even a social justice warrior. I hate sjws actually, but his actions were inappropriate.

With that said, not worth reporting him. Should've done it a year ago, but if you didn't then too bad. Just because a person isn't a physician doesn't mean he won't sexually assault other women. So your reasoning for why you feel the urge to report this now because he's a medical student is idiotic. Your failure to stand up when this happened a year ago can't be fixed by you trying to play mrs. patient's hero now.

Should've done it then. Now it's too late. Just save yourself the effort and forget about it. Nothing will come out of it even if you try.

Edit: I'd also like to say that women going to frat parties invite the sexual assault. Go enjoy yourself in a scene that isn't degrading and immoral. However regardless of the fact that a girl went to a slutty scene like that, men shouldn't go that far.

Edit #2: Before I get a response such as "are you blaming the victim?", yes I am. A victim can be a victim, but he/she can also be an idiot. Holding your wallet out in public leads to an increased chance of being robbed. You're an idiot victim if you waved that wallet around. In this case, if you choose to attend a party where you get drunk with a bunch of other men, then it's the same as putting yourself in a position to be turned into a victim. Aka idiocy.

 

[Cyberdyne 101]

This thread is on its way to getting locked...

 

[Glazedonutlove]

Honestly, I'm not even a social justice warrior. I hate sjws actually, but his actions were inappropriate.
With that said, not worth reporting him. Should've done it a year ago, but if you didn't then too bad. Just because a person isn't a physician doesn't mean he won't sexually assault other women. So your reasoning for why you feel the urge to report this now because he's a medical student is idiotic. Your failure to stand up when this happened a year ago can't be fixed by you trying to play mrs. patient's hero now.
Should've done it then. Now it's too late. Just save yourself the effort and forget about it. Nothing will come out of it even if you try.

Edit: I'd also like to say that women going to frat parties invite the sexual assault. Go enjoy yourself in a scene that isn't degrading and immoral. However regardless of the fact that a girl went to a slutty scene like that, men shouldn't go that far.

Edit #2: Before I get a response such as "are you blaming the victim?", yes I am. A victim can be a victim, but he/she can also be an idiot. Holding your wallet out in public leads to an increased chance of being robbed. You're an idiot victim if you waved that wallet around. In this case, if you choose to attend a party where you get drunk with a bunch of other men, then it's the same as putting yourself in a position to be turned into a victim. Aka idiocy.

anyone else disturbed that some of the people on this thread are premeds

 

[efle]

Oh I thought he was trolling

 

[Glazedonutlove]

I thought so too until that second edit
I can't even tell the difference anymore

 

[SteveRope123]

I thought so too until that second edit
I can't even tell the difference anymore

The World May Never Know

Edit: It disturbs you that people with different perspectives are pre-med? You must be female.

Edit #2: It appears that the liberal hive mind is attempting to infiltrate medicine. Pls god Spare us.

 

[ZedsDed]

The World May Never Know

Edit: It disturbs you that people with different perspectives are pre-med? You must be female.

Edit #2: It appears that the liberal hive mind is attempting to infiltrate medicine. Pls god Spare us.

You fail at trolling. When you are this obvious you won't get a rise out of anyone.

 

[efle]

The World May Never Know

Edit: It disturbs you that people with different perspectives are pre-med? You must be female.

Edit #2: It appears that the liberal hive mind is attempting to infiltrate medicine. Pls god Spare us.

1.5/10

 

[SteveRope123]

You fail at trolling. When you are this obvious you won't get a rise out of anyone.

Sigh... It was purposely orchestrated that way. Take it for how you want it, but it may be trolling and may not be.

 

[Recon_13999]

The World May Never Know

Edit: It disturbs you that people with different perspectives are pre-med? You must be female.

Edit #2: It appears that the liberal hive mind is attempting to infiltrate medicine. Pls god Spare us.

better hope you brought enough ammo

 

[efle]

Sigh... It was purposely orchestrated that way. Take it for how you want it, but it may be trolling and may not be.

I'm going to take it as you being incapable of putting forth anything serious and coherent

 

[Lawpy]

Honestly, I'm not even a social justice warrior. I hate sjws actually, but his actions were inappropriate.

With that said, not worth reporting him. Should've done it a year ago, but if you didn't then too bad. Just because a person isn't a physician doesn't mean he won't sexually assault other women. So your reasoning for why you feel the urge to report this now because he's a medical student is idiotic. Your failure to stand up when this happened a year ago can't be fixed by you trying to play mrs. patient's hero now.

Should've done it then. Now it's too late. Just save yourself the effort and forget about it. Nothing will come out of it even if you try.

Edit: I'd also like to say that women going to frat parties invite the sexual assault. Go enjoy yourself in a scene that isn't degrading and immoral. However regardless of the fact that a girl went to a slutty scene like that, men shouldn't go that far.

Edit #2: Before I get a response such as "are you blaming the victim?", yes I am. A victim can be a victim, but he/she can also be an idiot. Holding your wallet out in public leads to an increased chance of being robbed. You're an idiot victim if you waved that wallet around. In this case, if you choose to attend a party where you get drunk with a bunch of other men, then it's the same as putting yourself in a position to be turned into a victim. Aka idiocy.

You never fail to amaze me

 

[Petrichor1]

Wow first I am glad there are premeds out there willing to say what is right unlike md2020. Second, dear report him this moment to the dean. Do not email, just ask to speak with him or her right away on the phone so you don't have to wait for a dreaded reply. That sick dog needs to be told that becoming a doctor is not his license to continue his inappropriate behavior. No matter you are a man or woman, some stinking college student should have gotten the nerves to step in. Heck if this happened in front of me, I would have first raised my stern voice, then possibly grabbed his hands away with cement grip. A woman, child, or anyone's respect is above the ego or game played by others. If we as society respected this, none of us would be made to feel so pathetic at times. Had op not stepped up for herself, this man could have done much worse under the stupid pretense of being intoxicated...which is bogus and just plain weasel like to come up with alcohol as the excuse to such behooving act.

 

[efle]

Wow first I am glad there are premeds out there willing to say what is right unlike md2020. Second, dear report him this moment to the dean. Do not email, just ask to speak with him or her right away on the phone so you don't have to wait for a dreaded reply. That sick dog needs to be told that becoming a doctor is not his license to continue his inappropriate behavior. No matter you are a man or woman, some stinking college student should have gotten the nerves to step in. Heck if this happened in front of me, I would have first raised my stern voice, then possibly grabbed his hands away with cement grip. A woman, child, or anyone's respect is above the ego or game played by others. If we as society respected this, none of us would be made to feel so pathetic at times. Had op not stepped up for herself, this man could have done much worse under the stupid pretense of being intoxicated...which is bogus and just plain weasel like to come up with alcohol as the excuse to such behooving act.

This reads like it was google translated lol. Excuse to such behooving act ???

 

[Glazedonutlove]

This reads like it was google translated lol. Excuse to such behooving act ???

don't or she'll come at you with that stern voice


sorry petricher I had do - I do agree with what you said though

 

[ErzaScarlet]

Wow! I certainly didn't expect this much of a response.

I should clear something up. Some people did try and step in, I guess I should have clarified. I don't want to give a play-by-play, but basically he stumbled over to me and grabbed my waist, stroked my hair, etc. I pushed him away and walked away. He would stumble around a bit and then walk over towards me, rinse and repeat. Each time he got a little more brave, and went from grabbing my breasts, to my behind, to my crotch. His frat brothers, at first, were laughing. In their defense, they probably thought he was harmless because he could barely walk. As it escalated, they were all like "chill bro, chill" but they still didn't physically stop him. It was only at the end when he repeatedly grabbed my crotch and I burst into tears because I was so frustrated that he wouldn't leave me alone and one of my friends saw and screamed at him that they dragged him away. An hour or so went by, and then he cornered me in the garage and did what he did.

To @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro @22031 Alum , thank you so much for the advice. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet to be honest with you. I have a lot of thinking to do. I will update the thread in a day or so after I make a decision.

 

[wasteofspace323]

Wow! I certainly didn't expect this much of a response.

I guess I should clear something up. Some people did try and step in, I guess I should have clarified. I don't want to give a play-by-play, but basically he stumbled over to and grabbed my waist, stroked my hair, etc. I pushed him away and walked away. He would stumble around a bit and then walk over towards me, rinse in repeat. Each time he got a little more brave, and went from grabbing my breasts, to my behind, to my crotch. His frat brothers, at first, were laughing. In their defense, they probably thought he was harmless because he could barely walk. As it escalated, they were all like "chill bro, chill" but they still didn't physically stop him. It was only at the end when he grabbed my crotch and I burst into tears because I was so frustrated that he wouldn't leave me alone and one of my friends saw and screamed at him that they dragged him away. An hour or so went by, and then he cornered me in the garage and did what he did.

To @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro @22031 Alum , thank you so much for the advice. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet to be honest with you. I have a lot of thinking to do. I will update the thread in a day or so after I make a decision.

Pathos

 

[ZedsDed]

Wow! I certainly didn't expect this much of a response.

I guess I should clear something up. Some people did try and step in, I guess I should have clarified. I don't want to give a play-by-play, but basically he stumbled over to and grabbed my waist, stroked my hair, etc. I pushed him away and walked away. He would stumble around a bit and then walk over towards me, rinse in repeat. Each time he got a little more brave, and went from grabbing my breasts, to my behind, to my crotch. His frat brothers, at first, were laughing. In their defense, they probably thought he was harmless because he could barely walk. As it escalated, they were all like "chill bro, chill" but they still didn't physically stop him. It was only at the end when he grabbed my crotch and I burst into tears because I was so frustrated that he wouldn't leave me alone and one of my friends saw and screamed at him that they dragged him away. An hour or so went by, and then he cornered me in the garage and did what he did.

That makes a lot more sense. Frankly I'm still surprised that someone didn't lay him out.

 

[deleted480308]

Wow! I certainly didn't expect this much of a response.

I should clear something up. Some people did try and step in, I guess I should have clarified. I don't want to give a play-by-play, but basically he stumbled over to me and grabbed my waist, stroked my hair, etc. I pushed him away and walked away. He would stumble around a bit and then walk over towards me, rinse and repeat. Each time he got a little more brave, and went from grabbing my breasts, to my behind, to my crotch. His frat brothers, at first, were laughing. In their defense, they probably thought he was harmless because he could barely walk. As it escalated, they were all like "chill bro, chill" but they still didn't physically stop him. It was only at the end when he repeatedly grabbed my crotch and I burst into tears because I was so frustrated that he wouldn't leave me alone and one of my friends saw and screamed at him that they dragged him away. An hour or so went by, and then he cornered me in the garage and did what he did.

To @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro @22031 Alum , thank you so much for the advice. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet to be honest with you. I have a lot of thinking to do. I will update the thread in a day or so after I make a decision.

You need better friends. Seperately from this situation you need to realize that you deserve better people around you than you had that night, cast them aside and don't settle as you search for replacements

 

[goldy490]

Wow! I certainly didn't expect this much of a response.

I should clear something up. Some people did try and step in, I guess I should have clarified. I don't want to give a play-by-play, but basically he stumbled over to me and grabbed my waist, stroked my hair, etc. I pushed him away and walked away. He would stumble around a bit and then walk over towards me, rinse and repeat. Each time he got a little more brave, and went from grabbing my breasts, to my behind, to my crotch. His frat brothers, at first, were laughing. In their defense, they probably thought he was harmless because he could barely walk. As it escalated, they were all like "chill bro, chill" but they still didn't physically stop him. It was only at the end when he repeatedly grabbed my crotch and I burst into tears because I was so frustrated that he wouldn't leave me alone and one of my friends saw and screamed at him that they dragged him away. An hour or so went by, and then he cornered me in the garage and did what he did.

To @LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro @22031 Alum , thank you so much for the advice. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet to be honest with you. I have a lot of thinking to do. I will update the thread in a day or so after I make a decision.

Just my $0.02, but this sounds like the guy was just blackout drunk, and while what he did was terrible, I don't think it reflects his personality, morals, or ability to be a competent, compassionate doctor. Should you have reported it to student conduct or the police after it happened? Probably. But to now go back 1 year + later and try to make accusations about something you claim he did (that he certainly doesn't remember) seems kind or ridiculous to me. Also, I'd assume you were drinking at this frat party as well? I think it becomes very challenging to believably say "So I was drunk at this frat party like a year ago and this guy who was blackout drunk came up and grabbed my boobs!"

This is not to say what happened to you isn't horrible or inexcusable. Several of my close friends and relatives have stories very similar to yours. But as an impartial observer it is to say that most people won't take a he said she said story from a year ago at a drunken house party as fact. And if you do report it, just realize you are potentially ruining his life over one night where he got black out and drunkenly tried to make a pass at you. This isn't a sadistic guy who made some premeditated plan to corner you in a garage and get you to kiss him. This could be anyone under the sun who accidentally got way too drunk at a frat party and had no idea what he was doing. And for doing that you could literally ruin his life. Ruin as in leave his saddled with 200k of non-dischargeable debt while simultaneously decimating his ability pursue the career he has spent years training for. So think long and hard before you make any decisions. Again, just my opinion, and I'm very sorry you had to go through such a crappy situation OP.

 

[tenblackalps]

Nothing is going to come from reporting this, because it appears there is not even a preponderance of evidence. But I see no downside to reporting it from the OP's perspective.

 

[Affiche]

@ErzaScarlet please report this. I was sexually harassed by a professor in college and I did not report it until a year later, after I had graduated and had the unfortunate coincidence of running into him in a professional setting. I was incredibly apprehensive to report the harassment because a year had passed, I was never assaulted, and I didn't have much evidence. Further, I was encouraged to not report it because some thought it either wouldn't do any good or it would ruin his career. Ultimately, I did report the harassment and I no longer have to worry about him affecting my professional or personal life. His life was not ruined, either. It was the right decision.

The way I see it, writing this school off as a loss because of him further perpetuates an imbalance of power and injustice between the two of you that began when he assaulted you. You did nothing wrong and you should not have to lose any more because of his actions. Anyone who has given you grief about not reporting this at the party or the interview has no concept of how traumatizing sexual assault or harassment can be. Report him to the school and request another interview. Regardless of the evidence, you deserve a fair interview.

And please don't listen to the idiots on here who have never dealt with sexual harassment/assault before but feel inclined to discuss evidence, limitations, etc. anyway.

You can PM me if you have any questions.

 

[DokterMom]

Nobody is "making excuses" for the guy. What we are questioning is whether or not the punishment of having his life ruined is in proportion to the crime of groping.

"Boys assault girls sexually all the time in college, so it's not a big deal and you should stop being such a *****"

Really? Like, really? You honestly think it's okay for men to follow women around, grabbing their genitals and trying to force themselves on them just because "it's common at frat parties"? Do you think that men who assault women like this should just have their crimes swept under the rug? That they should be immune from the consequences of committing assault?

[sarcasm on] Well, can she prove it? It's not like he actually raped her and she has bruises and semen and DNA -- though I suppose she might have wanted rough sex with a near stranger and just has morning after regrets...

Apparently, to some posters here, those types of "crimes" need to be ignored because they can't be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. And they're so common really that we shouldn't even call them "crimes" -- drunken frat parties and all. Unless the girl belongs to someone -- you know -- someone's girlfriend or brother or daughter -- in which case the perp needs to have his lights punched out and the righteously avenging man should be hailed as a hero.
[sarcasm off]

 

[Glazedonutlove]

Just my $0.02, but this sounds like the guy was just blackout drunk, and while what he did was terrible, I don't think it reflects his personality, morals, or ability to be a competent, compassionate doctor. Should you have reported it to student conduct or the police after it happened? Probably. But to now go back 1 year + later and try to make accusations about something you claim he did (that he certainly doesn't remember) seems kind or ridiculous to me. Also, I'd assume you were drinking at this frat party as well? I think it becomes very challenging to believably say "So I was drunk at this frat party like a year ago and this guy who was blackout drunk came up and grabbed my boobs!"

This is not to say what happened to you isn't horrible or inexcusable. Several of my close friends and relatives have stories very similar to yours. But as an impartial observer it is to say that most people won't take a he said she said story from a year ago at a drunken house party as fact. And if you do report it, just realize you are potentially ruining his life over one night where he got black out and drunkenly tried to make a pass at you. This isn't a sadistic guy who made some premeditated plan to corner you in a garage and get you to kiss him. This could be anyone under the sun who accidentally got way too drunk at a frat party and had no idea what he was doing. And for doing that you could literally ruin his life. Ruin as in leave his saddled with 200k of non-dischargeable debt while simultaneously decimating his ability pursue the career he has spent years training for. So think long and hard before you make any decisions. Again, just my opinion, and I'm very sorry you had to go through such a crappy situation OP.

Stop telling the op she is ruining anyone's life. He chose to act this way. The ONLY one you can blame is him.

 

[Affiche]

He is responsible for his own actions and only he is to blame for the consequences of those actions. Quit being an idiot and trying to burden the victim with guilt.

 

[deleted407021]

This thread is why my university now has mandatory sexual assault training ...

 

[deleted407021]

My GF gets hit on or cat called or otherwise harassed on the regular when she's out running, at Walmart, at work, at volunteering, at shadowing, walking to her car outside her apartment, walking to her car outside class ... gottdam everywhere ... and, as a man, I realize I have no idea how that feels. But it makes me angry, because it bothers her.

People who act with impunity as they demean or otherwise bring unpleasantness into the lives of others suck. Screw that guy, OP.

 

[jaxon]

Yes, but I am also curious why "dozens" of people didn't feel the need to step in.

Sounds like a typical packed college party scene with loud music. Not hard to imagine a situation where tons of people are around and nobody is noticing this terrible behavior, and even if people do, it would probably look like the typical "lovers' quarrel." This isn't some garden variety catcalling; this is physical assault.

Good luck, OP. This is a real **** situation. Whatever happens, I'm hoping this d-bag gets his comeuppance. Absolutely inexcusable.

 

[deleted407021]

Yes, but I am also curious why "dozens" of people didn't feel the need to step in.

It's a very well documented group psychology phenomenon known as the bystander effect.

 

[DokterMom]

Man gets mugged. Suspect is arrested. Man is asked to identify perp in a police lineup. Does anyone accuse the man of ruining the perp's life?

 

[Demosthenes1]

Why is it a dui to drink then drive, but you're the victim of rape when you drink and copulate?

Can I be held accountable for drunk actions or not?

You understand that no one is forcing you to drive when you're inebriated, but someone can force you into a compromising situation if you're inebriated.
Your moral failings are almost as large as the holes in your logic.

 

[deleted407021]

Man gets mugged. Suspect is arrested. Man is asked to identify perp in a police lineup. Does anyone accuse the man of ruining the perp's life?

But what was he wearing??

 

[KatniP]

Perhaps my UG's campus culture was just over the top masochistic. Since I seem to be the only dissenting opinion here, I will yield to the majority.

But I am under no delusions. This literally happens everywhere and is probably more common than studying on college campuses.

It really pisses me off that you think just because it's "common" and it "happens everywhere" means that you can lessen OP's experience. It happened to her, and the student who harassed her is aspiring to be a medical doctor and will come in contact with female patients. I doubt he has miraculously seen the error of his ways and turned his behavior around in the time between groping OP and her interview, and I don't think it was a one-time issue (could have happened with other girls, because of his mentality towards women). He literally followed her around for an hour and groped her, and then finally backed off (laughing) after she smacked him away. Even after that, he didn't realize he was wrong because he GRABBED HER ASS. Drunk or not, this behavior is unacceptable and you cannot blame the alcohol. OP ruining his life? No. If this report results in any consequences, it is fully the student's fault and he should take responsibility, not blame OP. He was the one who decided to grope this girl, make lewd comments, and corner her in a garage. He was set to ruin his own life since apparently he doesn't know that "no" means "no" and that it's not acceptable to follow people around and when to back off. I'm really concerned thinking about what could have happened if OP was completely alone with this guy. I doubt he will be expelled, but sexual assault should not be taken lightly, no matter how often it happens or who it happens to.

 

[Affiche]

@KatniP too many idiotic posts in this thread to address each of them individually lol

 

[Conflagration]

How is "if some random bro groped you, that's sexual assault" such a difficult concept for some people?

I don't know about you all, but I've never been so drunk that I thought it'd be a good idea to get handsy with someone else. What kind of argument even is that? If that's how you get when you're drunk, then you shouldn't get drunk. Period.

All of these people who bitch and moan about "But who's responsibility is it really doe" don't seem to understand that, if liquor changes your personality that much, then you shouldn't be drinking. We tell alcoholics the same thing because it changes how they act. Why is it any different with a college kid, if they do this kind of **** when they're drunk?

 

[KatniP]

@KatniP too many idiotic posts in this thread to address each of them individually lol

People don't realize that this behavior is NOT the norm and doesn't usually just happen once for people; it stems from an unhealthy mentality about women, insecurity, and control. I sincerely doubt this guy went home and was like, "Oh man, maybe I shouldn't have groped OP. She didn't really seem to like it." The fact of the matter is that it DID happen and it can happen again unless he rehabilitates his behavior/mentality.

My sorority's philanthropy is Domestic Violence Awareness, so this is a really big deal to me.

 

[occams_razor]

You have to be kidding me. So because a drunk guy groped a girl at a party (which is completely WRONG) he will sexually assault his patients?!

He sexually assaulted this young woman at the party. This is a very serious issue and yes it could indicate that he is a danger to his patients.

If you recall the case of Phillip markoff, the BU med student who was known was "the craigslist killer" - he had a similar pattern of behavior towards women. He made repeated unwanted drunken advances to a classmate who never reported it.
The point Im trying to make here is that Patterns of unethical and disturbing behavior should not be ignored. It is dangerous to ignore them.

 

[goldy490]

He sexually assaulted this young woman at the party. This is a very serious issue and yes it could indicate that he is a danger to his patients.

If you recall the case of Phillip markoff, the BU med student who was known was "the craigslist killer" - he had a similar pattern of behavior towards women. He made repeated unwanted drunken advances to a classmate who never reported it.
The point Im trying to make here is that Patterns of unethical and disturbing behavior should not be ignored. It is dangerous to ignore them.

It is an ENORMOUS jump to say someone who got drunk and made unwanted sexual advances may be a serial killer. Just because one med student once was a serial killer and also made drunken advances does not mean anything. I bet he also took tylenol. So does everyone that takes tylenol become a serial killer or pose a danger to their pateints? He also got drunk on BEER! So everyone who gets drunk on beer could be a sexual assaulting, serial killing, danger to their patients too?!?!?!?

OH MY GOD, EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!

 

[KatniP]

It is an ENORMOUS jump to say someone who got drunk and made unwanted sexual advances may be a serial killer. Just because one med student once was a serial killer and also made drunken advances does not mean anything. I bet he also took tylenol. So does everyone that takes tylenol become a serial killer or pose a danger to their pateints? He also got drunk on BEER! So everyone who gets drunk on beer could be a sexual assaulting, serial killing, danger to their patients too?!?!?!?

OH MY GOD, EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Here's the part you missed: "The point Im trying to make here is that Patterns of unethical and disturbing behavior should not be ignored. It is dangerous to ignore them."

He was not saying that this kid is going to become a serial killer, so quit trying to 1) make a connection that doesn't exist and 2) put words in someone else's mouth. It was merely an extreme example. However, OP's harasser's behavior still should not be excused. What if OP gets into the school and now has to see her harasser on campus? What if he eventually recognizes her? What if the guy does decide to take advantage of someone else?

 

[Affiche]

It is an ENORMOUS jump to say someone who got drunk and made unwanted sexual advances may be a serial killer. Just because one med student once was a serial killer and also made drunken advances does not mean anything. I bet he also took tylenol. So does everyone that takes tylenol become a serial killer or pose a danger to their pateints? He also got drunk on BEER! So everyone who gets drunk on beer could be a sexual assaulting, serial killing, danger to their patients too?!?!?!?

OH MY GOD, EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Slippery slope fallacy aside, let's not pretend like taking tylenol and drinking beer are analogous to sexual assault.

Edit: just realized you're the fool who tried to guilt the OP into not reporting assault because it could "ruin his life". You should probably keep your .02 to yourself on this subject

 

[KatniP]

Slippery slope fallacy aside, let's not pretend like taking tylenol and drinking beer are analogous to sexual assault.

There are so many fallacies in this thread I just want to facepalm 189 times.

 

[occams_razor]

Here's the part you missed: "The point Im trying to make here is that Patterns of unethical and disturbing behavior should not be ignored. It is dangerous to ignore them."

He was not saying that this kid is going to become a serial killer, so quit trying to 1) make a connection that doesn't exist and 2) put words in someone else's mouth. It was merely an extreme example. However, OP's harasser's behavior still should not be excused. What if OP gets into the school and now has to see her harasser on campus? What if he eventually recognizes her? What if the guy does decide to take advantage of someone else?

thank you!

 

[Not A Troll]

Here's the part you missed: "The point Im trying to make here is that Patterns of unethical and disturbing behavior should not be ignored. It is dangerous to ignore them."

He was not saying that this kid is going to become a serial killer, so quit trying to 1) make a connection that doesn't exist and 2) put words in someone else's mouth. It was merely an extreme example. However, OP's harasser's behavior still should not be excused. What if OP gets into the school and now has to see her harasser on campus? What if he eventually recognizes her? What if the guy does decide to take advantage of someone else?

What strikes me is that this doesn't seem like a pattern. A mistake sure. I guess this is my fraternity background talking, but if someone makes a drunk mistake one time and no one is hurt, it really isn't that big of a deal. Im sure this was an unpleasant experience for her, but a "pattern of unethical and disturbing behavior" is not the same as "drunkenly attempted to make out at a house party once."

 

[KatniP]

The World May Never Know

Edit: It disturbs you that people with different perspectives are pre-med? You must be female.

Edit #2: It appears that the liberal hive mind is attempting to infiltrate medicine. Pls god Spare us.

Your perspective is spine-chilling. Women who go to frat parties invite sexual assault? Please. So the blame isn't on the other party who believe that they have a right to a women's body based on what she is wearing/the fact that she is a woman/she is at a party? No. Wrong. False. Negative. No. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing lingerie or 32 layers in the winter time; it is not my fault if a guy can't control his boner. Blaming women for sexual assault is saying that the guy is NOT in control of his own actions. If you think someone is interested in you, you ASK. You COMMUNICATE. Like a reasonable, sensible person. You don't just grope them or hit on them and make lewd comments expecting them to jump into bed with you. The key to a healthy relationship is trust and communication, and the fact that only "certain women" are deserving of this type of communication is a terrible way to think.

Do you not believe that women deserve the same respect that men do?

 

[KatniP]

What strikes me is that this doesn't seem like a pattern. A mistake sure. I guess this is my fraternity background talking, but if someone makes a drunk mistake one time and no one is hurt, it really isn't that big of a deal. Im sure this was an unpleasant experience for her, but a "pattern of unethical and disturbing behavior" is not the same as "drunkenly attempted to make out at a house party once."

"A friend of my brother kept grabbing my boobs and groin and followed me around the whole night while making lewd comments about what he wanted to do to me. Later that night, when almost everyone had left, he cornered me in the garage and tried to force me to kiss him. I struck him hard in the face and that seemed to snap him out of it. He kind of laughed and slapped me on the butt, but he left the house after that."

This seems more than "drunkenly attempting to make out at a house party." A drunk "mistake"? What qualifies as a mistake? We can't tell if this guy was remorseful about his actions and decided to change his ways, which is what OP is worried about. Sure it happened once - for HER.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

What strikes me is that this doesn't seem like a pattern. A mistake sure. I guess this is my fraternity background talking, but if someone makes a drunk mistake one time and no one is hurt, it really isn't that big of a deal. Im sure this was an unpleasant experience for her, but a "pattern of unethical and disturbing behavior" is not the same as "drunkenly attempted to make out at a house party once."

that's like saying you were drunk driving and accidentally hit someone. But it's not a pattern, only happened once!
wtf? It does not need to be a pattern and you don't get to decide who is or isn't hurt physically/emotionally

 

[Affiche]

What strikes me is that this doesn't seem like a pattern. A mistake sure. I guess this is my fraternity background talking, but if someone makes a drunk mistake one time and no one is hurt, it really isn't that big of a deal. Im sure this was an unpleasant experience for her, but a "pattern of unethical and disturbing behavior" is not the same as "drunkenly attempted to make out at a house party once."

A mistake is tripping on your shoelaces and touching someone's butt on your way down. This wasn't a mistake, this was assault.
It's rarely a one-time thing. When I reported that I was sexually harassed, I found out that my harasser had a long history of this behavior with other students. All of the other students who reported being harassed by this professor were initially apprehensive to do so because they either thought they lacked the evidence to file a sufficient report or they felt guilty for reporting him. This is why it's so important to report harassment and assault, no matter how isolated or minor you think the incident might be.