- Joined
- Nov 24, 2016
- Messages
- 7,268
- Reaction score
- 14,991
"Hey Church, what're they doing?"
"God damn Tucker, I'm getting so sick of answering that question! They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be, 'They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!'"
Two soldiers stand atop a military base. One in light blue armor is staring through a rifle scope trained on another base mirroring theirs. The other has armor shaded in Aquamarine? Seafoam? Turquoise? Screw it, some sort of greenish-blue.
Across the way....
"Grif, you ever wonder why we're here?"
"Well Simmons, it's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night."
*silence*
"No I meant why are we out here, in this canyon."
As Church turns around to berate Tucker. He takes his eyes off of the canyon just long enough to miss an aircraft come screaming over the canyon walls and crash with a loud BOOOOOM.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"Do I look like I know Tucker? Shut up, go get Caboose. We should check this out. Get Sheila too, I have a feeling we'll need a tank."
"Why? You think that ship has chicks to pick up?"
At Red Base...
"WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT? Simmons! Status report! Tell me the good news that Grif is dead!"
"Nope sorry Sarge, Grif is still alive. I can fix that for you though."
"Dagnabbit, well what was that noise then?"
"Looks like some ship landed in the canyon!"
Both teams arrive at the crash site as night falls….
"What fresh hell is this?"
“Wow Wash, never thought I’d see the day you join us on the dark side…”
“People change Tex.”
“You think we can get these idiots to work together for a search party?”
*Sigh*
“No.”
“but we’re going to have to aren’t we?”
“Yep.”
Agent Washington and Agent Texas work together coordinating a full search of the wreckage. Now adept at herding these cats, it takes a few hours into the night when they reconvene by firelight. No one has found anything and confusion ensues.
"Donut, was the ship haunted?"
"You know what Caboose? Thats a good idea."
"No it isn't Donut, don't encourage him."
"Hey ya dirty blue, don't yell at my rookie!" *Cocks shotgun*
"Sarge put the shotgun down, you're going to set off Maine!"
"GRRWWWRLLRRRRRR" *Unstraps heavy artillery*
*Multiple guns cock*
"Bueno, idiotas lo han hecho ahora."
"Yelling something no one understands is no help Lopez"
"AHhhhhHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHhhhhHHHHhhh"
"SHUT UP CABOOSE"
*Shot fired*
A shot rings out across the night. Caboose is overwhelmed by all the aggression and as always, reverts to his base instinct to......team kill.
"What the hell Caboose?! You killed Captain Flowers you team killing jerk!"
"Tucker did it!"
"I already have the 'report Caboose' command ready. cmd+F+U"
"Wait a second, look at the body. Thats not Captain Flowers!"
"You're right. What the hell is this gray blobish thing he turned into?"
"Wait! I know! They're a shapeshifting race! Yeah I partied with a few of them at a rave once. Shapeshifters just know EXACTLY how to fill all your needs if you...."
"SISTER! Enough, get to the point."
"Oh, right. Well you gotta keep an eye on em'. They replicate fast, and if they ever outnumber the other species in the group.....they kinda end up taking over your rave........"
"So you're saying....."
"We got ourselves an old-fashioned alien hunt!" *Sarge fires his shotgun in the air*
"God damn Tucker, I'm getting so sick of answering that question! They're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be, 'They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!'"
Two soldiers stand atop a military base. One in light blue armor is staring through a rifle scope trained on another base mirroring theirs. The other has armor shaded in Aquamarine? Seafoam? Turquoise? Screw it, some sort of greenish-blue.
Across the way....
"Grif, you ever wonder why we're here?"
"Well Simmons, it's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night."
*silence*
"No I meant why are we out here, in this canyon."
Yep just another day in Blood Gulch Canyon.
As Church turns around to berate Tucker. He takes his eyes off of the canyon just long enough to miss an aircraft come screaming over the canyon walls and crash with a loud BOOOOOM.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"Do I look like I know Tucker? Shut up, go get Caboose. We should check this out. Get Sheila too, I have a feeling we'll need a tank."
"Why? You think that ship has chicks to pick up?"
At Red Base...
"WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT? Simmons! Status report! Tell me the good news that Grif is dead!"
"Nope sorry Sarge, Grif is still alive. I can fix that for you though."
"Dagnabbit, well what was that noise then?"
"Looks like some ship landed in the canyon!"
Both teams arrive at the crash site as night falls….
"What fresh hell is this?"
“Wow Wash, never thought I’d see the day you join us on the dark side…”
“People change Tex.”
“You think we can get these idiots to work together for a search party?”
*Sigh*
“No.”
“but we’re going to have to aren’t we?”
“Yep.”
Agent Washington and Agent Texas work together coordinating a full search of the wreckage. Now adept at herding these cats, it takes a few hours into the night when they reconvene by firelight. No one has found anything and confusion ensues.
"Donut, was the ship haunted?"
"You know what Caboose? Thats a good idea."
"No it isn't Donut, don't encourage him."
"Hey ya dirty blue, don't yell at my rookie!" *Cocks shotgun*
"Sarge put the shotgun down, you're going to set off Maine!"
"GRRWWWRLLRRRRRR" *Unstraps heavy artillery*
*Multiple guns cock*
"Bueno, idiotas lo han hecho ahora."
"Yelling something no one understands is no help Lopez"
"AHhhhhHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHhhhhHHHHhhh"
"SHUT UP CABOOSE"
*Shot fired*
A shot rings out across the night. Caboose is overwhelmed by all the aggression and as always, reverts to his base instinct to......team kill.
"What the hell Caboose?! You killed Captain Flowers you team killing jerk!"
"Tucker did it!"
"I already have the 'report Caboose' command ready. cmd+F+U"
"Wait a second, look at the body. Thats not Captain Flowers!"
"You're right. What the hell is this gray blobish thing he turned into?"
"Wait! I know! They're a shapeshifting race! Yeah I partied with a few of them at a rave once. Shapeshifters just know EXACTLY how to fill all your needs if you...."
"SISTER! Enough, get to the point."
"Oh, right. Well you gotta keep an eye on em'. They replicate fast, and if they ever outnumber the other species in the group.....they kinda end up taking over your rave........"
"So you're saying....."
"We got ourselves an old-fashioned alien hunt!" *Sarge fires his shotgun in the air*
Duchizevisoop presents
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