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Dating in med school?

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dreamadream

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Haha, I haven't even taken my MCAT and I'm curious about dating in med school/residency? Is anyone still single? Any horrible experiences? Good experience? Try another flavor(ya know)? How do you balance a relationships and school/career? I need experiences from all genders, ethinicities, and ages, make this something I won't forget.
 

Poit

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M1 and I'm single. You have time to date. Just make sure your tinder/okcupid/match profile picture is of you wearing a white coat and panties shall drop.
 
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Ismet

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Moving to pre-allo
 
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Spector1

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M1 and I'm single. You have time to date. Just make sure your tinder/okcupid/match profile picture is of you wearing a white coat and panties shall drop.
depends what kind of people you're trying to attract.
 
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asdf123g

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the facebook group for one of the schools i was accepted to so far I am yet to see a picture of someone without a bf/gf
 
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Lucca

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Again, this is a question specifically for postbacc/medical students and also people who have completed med school.

Pre-meds are not allowed to make threads (though you are free to post) on Allo or the residency forums. Don't worry, there are med students around all of the time.
 
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Lannister

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the facebook group for one of the schools i was accepted to so far I am yet to see a picture of someone without a bf/gf

I bet a lot of couples break up before med school starts, if they don't want to do the long-distance thing. Or at least...I hope that's what happens...I know that probably makes me a bad person but I really want to find a boyfriend in medical school :laugh:
 
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Mad Jack

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Plenty of single people in my class. Plenty of breakups. Plenty of intra-class drama because of relationships between students. Plenty of people that have stayed with their pre-med school partners and done well. Easy to balance it if you prioritize accordingly, many of us do it, with partners both new and old.
 
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Mad Jack

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I bet a lot of couples break up before med school starts, if they don't want to do the long-distance thing. Or at least...I hope that's what happens...I know that probably makes me a bad person but I really want to find a boyfriend in medical school :laugh:
Most people don't break up beforehand. But plenty of people break up within the first year- only about half the relationships that went into school survived. I'm one of the lucky few, so far.
 
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Lannister

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Most people don't break up beforehand. But plenty of people break up within the first year- only about half the relationships that went into school survived. I'm one of the lucky few, so far.

Ah okay, so I'll give it till the end of the first year before I start losing hope!
 
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Mad Jack

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Ah okay, so I'll give it till the end of the first year before I start losing hope!
The real thing you'll have trouble with is that some of the desirable guys in school tend to play the field. Hence, drama. There's definitely good ones to be found though. And even if you don't find one in MS1 and MS2, there's always MS3 and beyond :D

And you can always poach first years. That seems to be a popular hobby for MS2s at many schools.
 
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Lannister

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The real thing you'll have trouble with is that some of the desirable guys in school tend to play the field. Hence, drama. There's definitely good ones to be found though. And even if you don't find one in MS1 and MS2, there's always MS3 and beyond :D

And you can always poach first years. That seems to be a popular hobby for MS2s at many schools.

Haha don't the desirable guys always play the field? Does there ever come a point in life when people are just interested in serious relationships? Because I can't wait to get to that point.
 
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asdf123g

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Plenty of single people in my class. Plenty of breakups. Plenty of intra-class drama because of relationships between students. Plenty of people that have stayed with their pre-med school partners and done well. Easy to balance it if you prioritize accordingly, many of us do it, with partners both new and old.
There a lot of really bad breakups/drama? Like students trying to get the other student kicked outta school bad?
 

Mad Jack

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There a lot of really bad breakups/drama? Like students trying to get the other student kicked outta school bad?
Nah, no one brings it into school. But there's some student-to-student drama. People are good about compartmentalizing and barriers, but YMMV.
 
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vantheman

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Most people don't break up beforehand. But plenty of people break up within the first year- only about half the relationships that went into school survived. I'm one of the lucky few, so far.

How did those students who went through a break up during year one do in school during that time? Do you think they wished the broke it off before they started school instead?
 

SpartanWolverine

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Most people don't break up beforehand. But plenty of people break up within the first year- only about half the relationships that went into school survived. I'm one of the lucky few, so far.
Yep, I would say only about half of people in relationships at the start of medical school were still in those relationships by January.
How did those students who went through a break up during year one do in school during that time? Do you think they wished the broke it off before they started school instead?
My opinion (and experience) is that it's easy to enter school thinking "we can make it work out!" and than realize that it will take a lot of effort. For some it's worth the effort, for others, not. So I think it depends on the nature of your relationship going in to medical school.
 

vantheman

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Yep, I would say only about half of people in relationships at the start of medical school were still in those relationships by January.

My opinion (and experience) is that it's easy to enter school thinking "we can make it work out!" and than realize that it will take a lot of effort. For some it's worth the effort, for others, not. So I think it depends on the nature of your relationship going in to medical school.


Yeah without going in too much detail, I am currently in a relationship and I am not sure of our future since she will be applying to graduate school next cycle. Not sure if it would be easier to break it off before or possibly during med school.
 

SpartanWolverine

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They all did fine. No one was broken by a breakup.
Yep. You have enough to worry about and keep you busy.
Yeah without going in too much detail, I am currently in a relationship and I am not sure of our future since she will be applying to graduate school next cycle. Not sure if it would be easier to break it off before or possibly during med school.
Yeah, depends on your situation. For me, my relationship was becoming long-distance at the same time I was starting school, so it was a bit of a double-whammy. I figured it didn't hurt to try and see if we could work it out. As I said above, you have enough to keep you busy during school that a breakup shouldn't mess with your work... but that depends on you.
 

BluMist

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... until I enter medical school and leave broken.
tumblr_l2zci1PAq81qa9erco1_1280.png


They all did fine. No one was broken by a breakup.
 
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Redpancreas

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Haha, I haven't even taken my MCAT and I'm curious about dating in med school/residency? Is anyone still single? Any horrible experiences? Good experience? Try another flavor(ya know)? How do you balance a relationships and school/career? I need experiences from all genders, ethinicities, and ages, make this something I won't forget.

Medical School Relationships:


Prevalence:

From what I've seen (Im still single), about half the people came in with relationships but there were also a lot of great girls and guys who were single. Of the non-single, a good amount are married. For the rest, the biggest risk factor for whether or not they broke up is whether or not they're OOS and their SO is back home.

Progression:

During orientation you meet the class and there are no cliques. After a month, cliques start forming and shortly after that people start becoming interested in each other. After a couple months, many break up (especially the out of staters). This seems to be due to the fact an excessive sense of idealism of "we can work through this" but the fact is no one can anticipate the load that medical school is. Now that there's a spike in the number of single people, they often seek new relationships. From what I've heard, there's actually very little traditional dinner/movie dating. Instead, most single people who can start hooking up around holiday season. [If you want to be part of this you generally have to be social]. They are mostly are just the "hey come study at my place" that leads to something else sort of thing. In late January , you'll see the first budding public relationships. A lot of them will be from hook-ups that ended up as relationships.

Manageability:

Relationships definitely seem manageable. I've been told that it can bring a sense of sanity to your life if you make time for your new SO and make a routine out of it. Careful though as you can't really afford to let a depressing break up lead poor performance in medical school when it literally decides what your going to be spending your next 30 years doing. Make sure that if you pursue one that you still have a group of solid besties who've always been there for you to fall back on.


So yeah, this is what I've observed.
 
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Psai

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M1 and I'm single. You have time to date. Just make sure your tinder/okcupid/match profile picture is of you wearing a white coat and panties shall drop.

I have a collection of panties that dropped from the sight of my white coat
 
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Seth Joo

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Haha, I haven't even taken my MCAT and I'm curious about dating in med school/residency? Is anyone still single? Any horrible experiences? Good experience? Try another flavor(ya know)? How do you balance a relationships and school/career? I need experiences from all genders, ethinicities, and ages, make this something I won't forget.

People do get into relationships in medical school, a good number of my classmates wound up getting married. From what I saw it was mostly out of convenience, we spent most hours of the week running into each other. I was fortunate enough to meet someone outside of school and did not fall into the trap of dating another student or someone else at school. Honestly people who say they enjoy dating someone in medical school have Stockholm Syndrome, most people in school are not fun, everyone is too serious and too politically correct.
 
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Chelsea FC

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This might be a stupid question but how do you guys know who is in a relationship thats long distance ?? Ive been in a pretty long term relationship and most of the people around me dont know because I keep it to myself. I live to the mantra its nobodies business . And I hardly ever see people upfront just ask someone are you in a relationship.
 

SpartanWolverine

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This might be a stupid question but how do you guys know who is in a relationship thats long distance ?? Ive been in a pretty long term relationship and most of the people around me dont know because I keep it to myself. I live to the mantra its nobodies business . And I hardly ever see people upfront just ask someone are you in a relationship.
When you see the same people day in and day out, you tend to get to know them. Relationship status is one thing that you'll usually eventually find out. Do you have a Facebook? Your classmates will see pictures. Do you ever go out of town to see your partner? People will ask what you're doing over the weekend/break, etc.

Unless you're actively hiding your relationship status... it's not hard for others in your class to figure it out.
 
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Chelsea FC

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When you see the same people day in and day out, you tend to get to know them. Relationship status is one thing that you'll usually eventually find out. Do you have a Facebook? Your classmates will see pictures. Do you ever go out of town to see your partner? People will ask what you're doing over the weekend/break, etc.

Unless you're actively hiding your relationship status... it's not hard for others in your class to figure it out.
okay makes sense . My SO lives out of country and I dont ever post my relationship on facebook and other social media. But yeah if people ask I dont hide. I kinda get what you are saying.
It would be nice to know people are interested though :(
 

dreamadream

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I'm so scared that I'll be single forever. Not even single but not married and no children.
 
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Mad Jack

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I'm so scared that I'll be single forever. Not even single but not married and no children.
were-dealing-with-a-feel.jpg

You'll be fine. When I was in high school, I was friends with some of the most awkward people you'll ever meet. And you know what? Ever single one of them ended up married. Not just dating right now, but straight up happily married with kids. At the end of the day, the vast majority of people end up married or in a relationship, save for those that really don't want anything serious for whatever reason. Out of my new group of friends, we all started off single in college and now, ten years later, guess what, everyone's married, getting married, or in a serious "we're not getting married because we don't believe in it" sort of relationship. Everyone.

Of course, there'll inevitably be the first round of divorces and such, but nowadays that's just life I guess.
 
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Seth Joo

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were-dealing-with-a-feel.jpg

You'll be fine. When I was in high school, I was friends with some of the most awkward people you'll ever meet. And you know what? Ever single one of them ended up married. Not just dating right now, but straight up happily married with kids. At the end of the day, the vast majority of people end up married or in a relationship, save for those that really don't want anything serious for whatever reason. Out of my new group of friends, we all started off single in college and now, ten years later, guess what, everyone's married, getting married, or in a serious "we're not getting married because we don't believe in it" sort of relationship. Everyone.

Of course, there'll inevitably be the first round of divorces and such, but nowadays that's just life I guess.

Dating in high school and undergrad was fun and it was cool, dating in medical school not so much, a lot of students do date one another at my school, some even got married to each other. I believe its mostly because of circumstances and convenience this happened more than true love and affection. The issue in medical school is that most people are Type A personalities, very aggressive.
 
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Chelsea FC

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Enough about relationships. Mutual *STRESS RELIEVING* relationships with hot Type A medical school girls sounds like heaven :) .. *But i will behave*
 
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Seth Joo

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Enough about relationships. Mutual *STRESS RELIEVING* relationships with hot Type A medical school girls sounds like heaven :) .. *But i will behave*

More like stress increasing, a lot of people in medical school, both men and women, have no sense of fun at all. The main reason I see people date in school is because of convenience, they do not have much time to meet people outside of school and wind up developing Stockholm Syndrome, that is why a good number wind up dating and eventually marrying.
 
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AirplaneFruit

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Why do you have to date other med-students due to proximity on your campus? What about grad students/other professional-school students?
 
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jd989898

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I think the whole mindset of anticipating/seeking a relationship is dangerous because it seems to lead to people forcing things. Chemistry between two people can arise at any time in almost any setting. Just go with the flow, be social, and focus on being happy. If a relationship falls into that equation, then so be it.
 
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clippers50fan

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I think the whole mindset of anticipating/seeking a relationship is dangerous because it seems to lead to people forcing things. Chemistry between two people can arise at any time in almost any setting. Just go with the flow, be social, and focus on being happy. If a relationship falls into that equation, then so be it.

y = mx + b, where y = relationship, m= frequency, x= sex, and b = love. You want to maximize both intercepts and the slope for ultimate relationship.
 

jd989898

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y = mx + b, where y = relationship, m= frequency, x= sex, and b = love. You want to maximize both intercepts and the slope for ultimate relationship.

Yea I prefer not to be tied down, so my equation looks more like this

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.47.04 PM.png
 
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dreamadream

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Dating in high school and undergrad was fun and it was cool, dating in medical school not so much, a lot of students do date one another at my school, some even got married to each other. I believe its mostly because of circumstances and convenience this happened more than true love and affection. The issue in medical school is that most people are Type A personalities, very aggressive.
So your basically saying these people got married, just to get married because of circumstances(proximity)? But I think it will be this way...I mean we'll most likely be in med school together meaning we'll see each A LOT, we'll have medicine in common(another plus), and I mean you never know you might be from the same state, have the same values, like the same football team...whatever. But I really don't want to date anyone that's going to be a doctor...but I never know.
 

Seth Joo

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So your basically saying these people got married, just to get married because of circumstances(proximity)? But I think it will be this way...I mean we'll most likely be in med school together meaning we'll see each A LOT, we'll have medicine in common(another plus), and I mean you never know you might be from the same state, have the same values, like the same football team...whatever. But I really don't want to date anyone that's going to be a doctor...but I never know.

Most medical students are low on two key resources needed to meet someone of the opposite gender or these days even same gender, money and time, virtually all medical students are low on time, maybe a handful who come from wealthy families might have money, but most do not. So yes from what I saw many students dated one another and I believe it was out of circumstances mostly.
 
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solitarius

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Dating in high school and undergrad was fun and it was cool,

Not sure I agree with this.


dating in medical school not so much, a lot of students do date one another at my school, some even got married to each other. I believe its mostly because of circumstances and convenience this happened more than true love and affection. The issue in medical school is that most people are Type A personalities, very aggressive.

I definitely agree with this. The women are incredibly aggressive. Don't be surprised if they're on a timetable.
 
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hv92

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Out of the people who got married before residency, did you guys happen to see such relationships sour or split up within the first few crucial years? I feel that dating and getting into something serious while in medical school, and then getting married before the hell that is residency is a particularly crazy gamble.

any thoughts?
 

UCD82

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So your basically saying these people got married, just to get married because of circumstances(proximity)? But I think it will be this way...I mean we'll most likely be in med school together meaning we'll see each A LOT, we'll have medicine in common(another plus), and I mean you never know you might be from the same state, have the same values, like the same football team...whatever. But I really don't want to date anyone that's going to be a doctor...but I never know.

The same kind of thing happens in the military except with younger kids.
People find themselves away from home for the first time and force a relationship. This results in a lot eighteen year olds who have no business getting married eloping. These relationships usually fall apart as soon as one of them deploys.
It would be interesting to see how many med school relationships actually survive residency.
 

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Doctor-doctor marriages have one of the lowest divorce rates. After starting third year I can totally understand why. And personally I like the idea of marrying another doctor, and even training in the same hospital (although being in the same program might be a little too much even for me). Of course such relationships are borne "out of circumstances"; what relationships aren't?
 
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Seth Joo

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Doctor-doctor marriages have one of the lowest divorce rates. After starting third year I can totally understand why. And personally I like the idea of marrying another doctor, and even training in the same hospital (although being in the same program might be a little too much even for me). Of course such relationships are borne "out of circumstances"; what relationships aren't?

I think its probably because they tend to be financially stable, and they tend not too have too much time on their hands to argue and start fights with one another.
 

oOKawaiiOo

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Life is short. Its okay if you end up getting the type who is only looking for fun.

Medical school is already a heavy commitment, dont need to add another one if you're not ready. I mean video games are important to me.......

The consenting kind?
 
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Señor S

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I think its probably because they tend to be financially stable, and they tend not too have too much time on their hands to argue and start fights with one another.

Sounds good to me. Nothing worse than a pissed-off underemployed spouse sitting at home brooding about how her husband who's on call all weekend must obviously value his glamorous doctor stuff over her.
 
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