Dating in Medical School

[smq123]

yeah - i kind of do blame him for being a loser. i know of a few med students who date non-med students for a while and the schedule suddenly gets too busy and they break things off. it's kind of hard to believe that they didnt know in advance how busy their life was going to become... duh. if you are looking for a fling, just be straight about that from the beginning. i dont think it's correct to lead someone on and then bail with the "oh look i'm in med school" excuse. that sounds pretty loser-ific to me.

Your schedule, especially as an MS3 and MS4, can be VERY unpredictable. What they tell you your schedule will be like at the beginning, and what your schedule ACTUALLY is are usually two different things. (Your schedule as an MS1 and MS2 is usually easier to control.)

I was told on many rotations "Oh, you won't have to work weekends." And then, at one point, the attending would mention a Saturday morning CME conference that he would "really like to see the med students at...." Or the time on surgery when they found they were going to be short a resident so ALL the med students had to show up at 5:30 AM on Sunday morning to help round. Or the time on OB/gyn, when there was an emergency case that started on Friday evening, but didn't end until 2 AM the next day.

And, no, you can't just say, "Well, I had plans for this weekend," because all that earns you is a lousy evaluation and a look of stern disappproval.

So, yeah, sometimes you have to flake out. Rotations can be more intense than you thought, schedules change, things happen. Welcome to life as a physician.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Your schedule, especially as an MS3 and MS4, can be VERY unpredictable. What they tell you your schedule will be like at the beginning, and what your schedule ACTUALLY is are usually two different things. (Your schedule as an MS1 and MS2 is usually easier to control.)

I was told on many rotations "Oh, you won't have to work weekends." And then, at one point, the attending would mention a Saturday morning CME conference that he would "really like to see the med students at...." Or the time on surgery when they found they were going to be short a resident so ALL the med students had to show up at 5:30 AM on Sunday morning to help round. Or the time on OB/gyn, when there was an emergency case that started on Friday evening, but didn't end until 2 AM the next day.

And, no, you can't just say, "Well, I had plans for this weekend," because all that earns you is a lousy evaluation and a look of stern disappproval.

So, yeah, sometimes you have to flake out. Rotations can be more intense than you thought, schedules change, things happen. Welcome to life as a physician.

Hmm wow I didn't realize that. Valid points. If someone does have to flake out for reasonable causes as you mentioned, I do think people should be sensitive to others and take a morsel of time to explain. Or be upfront from the beginning by disclosing that schedules may be unpredictable and time may be a problem in the future.

 

[smq123]

Hmm wow I didn't realize that. Valid points. If someone does have to flake out for reasonable causes as you mentioned, I do think people should be sensitive to others and take a morsel of time to explain. Or be upfront from the beginning by disclosing that schedules may be unpredictable and time may be a problem in the future.

Yeah, we should, but I notice that a lot of people seem to indulge in "wishful thinking." "This month, my schedule WILL be predictable! I WILL know what my week will be like! I'll plan ahead, and be efficient, and stand up for my free time!" It never works out like that, though.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Yeah, we should, but I notice that a lot of people seem to indulge in "wishful thinking." "This month, my schedule WILL be predictable! I WILL know what my week will be like! I'll plan ahead, and be efficient, and stand up for my free time!" It never works out like that, though.

Word. Well, maybe wishful thinking will eventually come through! Statistically speaking, hoping long enough will put the odds in favorable light? haha

 

[wideeyedbty]

Ok I've made my peace with what happened, but I need to interject here. When you know your schedule is unpredictable and you can't date like a person with a regular 9-5 job or grad school, I'm sorry but you DO have to be a little more sensitive to the other person's feelings especially because misunderstandings are more likely to happen than not. You might be tired from telling every person you date, but just because you're tired of it the person you're dating is supposed to magically read your mind and understand? I can't exaggerate when I say before this board I was totally clueless when it came to how bad your lives are in medschool. I am also .001% of the population that does not watch Grey's Anatomy or ER haha. I'm not even exposed to the fake t.v. stuff!!

And I agree questioning it in a month is my fault. I know I pushed too fast and I regret doing so. But dating is SCARY... it's bad enough dating people with a normal schedule trying to figure out what's going on (which btw every woman does and guys need to get over that quirk of ours)... If it was a guy with a 9-5 job doing what this guy did... I wouldn't even bother questioning it, I'd probably exit just as fast because we here in the non-medschool world are used to planning dates in advance, having time to call and chat, going out together. A lot of what happened in that month was the exact opposite.... and without any real explanation I'm just supposed to understand? How?!

p.s. I sadly think that when your schedule sucks that badly you kind of lose the luxury to play the mind games.....

 

[Orbo]

*double

 

[Orbo]

Ok I've made my peace with what happened, but I need to interject here. When you know your schedule is unpredictable and you can't date like a person with a regular 9-5 job or grad school, I'm sorry but you DO have to be a little more sensitive to the other person's feelings especially because misunderstandings are more likely to happen than not. You might be tired from telling every person you date, but just because you're tired of it the person you're dating is supposed to magically read your mind and understand? I can't exaggerate when I say before this board I was totally clueless when it came to how bad your lives are in medschool. I am also .001% of the population that does not watch Grey's Anatomy or ER haha. I'm not even exposed to the fake t.v. stuff!!

And I agree questioning it in a month is my fault. I know I pushed too fast and I regret doing so. But dating is SCARY... it's bad enough dating people with a normal schedule trying to figure out what's going on (which btw every woman does and guys need to get over that quirk of ours)... If it was a guy with a 9-5 job doing what this guy did... I wouldn't even bother questioning it, I'd probably exit just as fast because we here in the non-medschool world are used to planning dates in advance, having time to call and chat, going out together. A lot of what happened in that month was the exact opposite.... and without any real explanation I'm just supposed to understand? How?!

I dunno girl, but you're probably coming to the wrong place to find the kind of sympathy you're looking for.

p.s. I sadly think that when your schedule sucks that badly you kind of lose the luxury to play the mind games.....

Ever since when was playing mind games a good thing? (Rhetorical question. Answer: middle school)

 

[wideeyedbty]

I dunno girl, but you're probably coming to the wrong place to find the kind of sympathy you're looking for.

Ouch. I'm not here for sympathy...... the reason I came here to begin with was because I felt bad and sympathized when I learned how difficult things are for everyone in this field. On the same hand though being sympathetic and sensitive should be a two-way street. We're all still human regardless of what path we've chosen in life.

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

Ouch. I'm not here for sympathy...... the reason I came here to begin with was because I felt bad and sympathized when I learned how difficult things are for everyone in this field. On the same hand though being sympathetic and sensitive should be a two-way street. We're all still human regardless of what path we've chosen in life.

I get what you mean about being sensitive and sympathetic but essentially this guy wasn't interested in you enough, or he might be very interested but knows it won't be long term (eg. he might be traveling a lot to interviews in a few months, and might be moving across the country in a year for residency).

What he did by not explaining, etc, could be his way of saying "I'm not interested to get into a serious long term relationship".

I'm single and have a super busy schedule, but if there was someone I met whom I was extremely interested in I would definitely do everything I can to try to make it work, like try to call/text msg when I know I'll be late or won't be able to make it.

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

By the way, I just got home from the hospital and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after that post. Now I have to be back at the hospital in a couple of hours, although I do have the "option" of not going back for another 5 hours. That's how busy it can get but thankfully this doesn't happen every weekend.

 

[Orbo]

Ouch. I'm not here for sympathy...... the reason I came here to begin with was because I felt bad and sympathized when I learned how difficult things are for everyone in this field. On the same hand though being sympathetic and sensitive should be a two-way street. We're all still human regardless of what path we've chosen in life.

Heh, not trying to be harsh. Just saying that if you want to make a statement that medical students and residents should be more upfront about their time commitments on the job/career that you probably won't get much sympathy or support for that

 

[footcloud]

Yeah, if you want something/someone bad enough, you'll do anything to make it happen. And it doesn't even have to be a long term thing. Even though I have tons to read right now, I would like to waste two hours on the Internet and relax because my head hurts, and since I want it, I'm going to do it. As for an e-mail I could or could not answer at the moment, I'll probably just leave it for a bit.

 

[wideeyedbty]

Well, thanks all for your input & insight.. helped a lot! Sending lots of positive energy your way to make it through this intense field! You guys deserve it for all your hard work

 

[mzjess]

Two of my closest friends are in med school, one of whom I lived in a house with last year. His girlfriend moved in about halfway through the semester, and then they ended up moving into their own apartment together this year. He says that he probably wouldn't have been able to make a relationship work if it weren't for the fact that they live together, because otherwise they would never see each other. While I have heard their problems from both sides, they have found a way to make it work and it works very well for them. Overall, they are very happy together, and it seems to me that if it is important to you, you will find a way to make it work.

I am a teacher who will be starting my intern year student teaching this fall, which involves a year of being at a school from 7am-5pm, spending my evenings writing lesson plans, and then taking grad classes all day Friday. I was told at my orientation to tell my significant other to expect to never see me. When my future med student boyfriend came and told me the exact same thing, I was very understanding and didn't see a problem with it, since I am also dealing with time constraints, however different our coursework might be. I think the key is effective time management and prioritizing to make any relationship work. I've been supportive, taught him comprehension strategies to pass verbal reasoning on the MCAT, re-wrote his personal statement, given him plenty of alone time.

That being said, my boyfriend, has shown me several posts about "dating a med school student." They seem to reflect only one perspective, along the lines of "you will hate your life, never see him, and he will seem like a know it all *******." We've been dating for 2 years, and now he is talking about not wanting to have a girlfriend when he starts med school this summer. He thinks it will make the transition too difficult, he won't meet anybody or make any friends, and he won't be able to focus because of trying to figure out how to make a relationship work in med school. He is worried because he said he won't have a lot of free time and then when he does, he doesn't want to be expected to spend his limited free time with me instead of going out to the bar with other med students. I didn't think med school was supposed to be about partying it up in the first place? Is it a difficult transition to have a girlfriend? We are both going to the same school and I live 5 minutes away, after reading stories of driving 3 hours every weekend it really doesn't seem that difficult. Apparently message boards made him decide he can't handle a girlfriend in med school, and I wish I could understand, but honestly I don't.

He said that all he has to do is drop the "doctor" word and girls will be lining up to date him. Do all med school student think this? It seems like most people date med students in SPITE of med school, not because (unless they are really dumb, gold-digging, needy girls who don't realize how long they're gonna have to wait to see that supposed "doctor money").

 

[He2]

He said that all he has to do is drop the "doctor" word and girls will be lining up to date him. Do all med school student think this? It seems like most people date med students in SPITE of med school, not because (unless they are really dumb, gold-digging, needy girls).

to be totally honest with you, he doesn't sound like he has a lot of experience using this card (since, well, he has been dating you?), but it doesn't quite work like he thinks it does. The doctor card buys you an interesting conversation, not interest. Besides, he's not even using the doctor card (Hi, I have loads of money, can i buy you dinner?), he's using the medical school card (Hi, I have no money, can you buy ME dinner?).

i also think it works a little better when you're out of school for a few years, since women wise up to the importance of $ a bit. Not so much in undergrad

He also does not sound so nice for how supportive you have come across in your message (openly talking about other women?)

Don't let him own you like this. set a standard and demand it.

 

[He2]

but in addendum, I know i can get really frustrated and moody when things get difficult. Especially during workweeks ~90hours/week. I would imagine the same with that much studying....

 

[He2]

This might also help

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=699784

 

[username456789]

forget about the loser and move on. I think schedules can only be blamed so much, my opinion is just that he's a loser and as stated above did not want to make it work.

Thanks for checking in, MS0. As you've already come to realize since this post, it's very difficult to understand the situation when you're not a part of it.

 

[username456789]

He said that all he has to do is drop the "doctor" word and girls will be lining up to date him. Do all med school student think this? It seems like most people date med students in SPITE of med school, not because (unless they are really dumb, gold-digging, needy girls who don't realize how long they're gonna have to wait to see that supposed "doctor money").

After reading that, I could only think of this:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showpost.php?p=9349509&postcount=118

 

[MilkmanAl]

After reading that, I could only think of this:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showpost.php?p=9349509&postcount=118

You're getting a lot of mileage out of that one.

 

[username456789]

You're getting a lot of mileage out of that one.

Haha, I know, but it just fit that description too perfectly.

 

[MilkmanAl]

We've been dating for 2 years, and now he is talking about not wanting to have a girlfriend when he starts med school this summer. He thinks it will make the transition too difficult, he won't meet anybody or make any friends, and he won't be able to focus because of trying to figure out how to make a relationship work in med school.

These are all very realistic concerns. One of the most challenging things about med school is finding balance in your life, and that "balance" often requires major sacrifices. The majority of the people in my class who are in committed long-term relationships of one kind or another are never around. I see them on test days, but they hardly ever socialize. For many people, it's just too hard to have both a relationship and a social life with what little time we're allowed, so they have to choose between the two. I don't think a relationship will make the transition to med school more difficult, but it will certainly complicate day-to-day life substantially if he's also trying to meet his classmates and interact with them outside of a class setting.

Another issue complicating med students' hours is that so much of it seems voluntary. You hours are set. You're at school from 7-5 every day, no questions asked. In med school, you very rarely have any assigned work that takes more than a few minutes outside of class to complete. Virtually everything is of the "here's the material; learn it" form, so it's pretty hard to quantify how much time "learning it" is going to take.

He said that all he has to do is drop the "doctor" word and girls will be lining up to date him. Do all med school student think this?

It's pretty much true, actually. Assuming your boyfriend meets a fairly low minimum attractiveness requirement, being in med school is his ticket to easy action if he wants it. Whether or not these girls are long-term relationship material or not is questionable, but he certainly will not have any problems getting dates if he wants them. Smart women looking to settle down will do as you describe. Women looking to "date around" will be all over him.

Haha, I know, but it just fit that description too perfectly.

Far be it from me to hate on perfect quoting.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Thanks for checking in, MS0. As you've already come to realize since this post, it's very difficult to understand the situation when you're not a part of it.

well the least I can do is say that when I'm an MS-anything, if i'm dating someone - I will make it known that my schedule is unpredictable and that things may or may not work out.

 

[deleted473350]

Can I just say that I find most of this thread super depressing? I had a pretty crappy undergraduate dating scene, and I have to say I was looking forward to meeting more mature guys who would be ready for serious relationships.

But my impression from this thread is that there aren't going to be many guys who aren't taken or mature or ready to date anyone, and those who might want a girlfriend are going to be intimidated by me, a female future doctor.

I hope I'm wrong...

 

[JackShephard MD]

Thanks for checking in, MS0. As you've already come to realize since this post, it's very difficult to understand the situation when you're not a part of it.

Holy **** these pre-meds want to be med students so bad they can't even wait until they are med students.

 

[badasshairday]

These are all very realistic concerns. One of the most challenging things about med school is finding balance in your life, and that "balance" often requires major sacrifices. The majority of the people in my class who are in committed long-term relationships of one kind or another are never around. I see them on test days, but they hardly ever socialize. For many people, it's just too hard to have both a relationship and a social life with what little time we're allowed, so they have to choose between the two. I don't think a relationship will make the transition to med school more difficult, but it will certainly complicate day-to-day life substantially if he's also trying to meet his classmates and interact with them outside of a class setting.

I don't see why he/she has to consider it a "sacrifice". I much rather spend my free time with my SO because she is very important to me and I enjoy spending time with her more than my classmates. Don't get me wrong, I have made great friends with classmates as well, but it isn't mutually exclusive to having a great relationship. My friends (classmates) are also her friends and vice versa is true as well. And if it came down for me to choose between the two, socializing with classmates or spending time with my SO, it is an easy choice. This is a no brainer for anyone in a serious committed relationship. Unfortunately for mzjess, this may not be the case for her BF, or maybe he is just being a ******* for the time being.

 

[badasshairday]

We are both going to the same school and I live 5 minutes away, after reading stories of driving 3 hours every weekend it really doesn't seem that difficult. Apparently message boards made him decide he can't handle a girlfriend in med school, and I wish I could understand, but honestly I don't.

My first year of med school we were a 4 hour flight apart. Seriously, if he thinks this way, I think he doesn't respect you. But I won't say what you should do, I don't know your relationship.

He said that all he has to do is drop the "doctor" word and girls will be lining up to date him. Do all med school student think this? It seems like most people date med students in SPITE of med school, not because (unless they are really dumb, gold-digging, needy girls who don't realize how long they're gonna have to wait to see that supposed "doctor money").

Douche thing to say even if he believes it and there might be a little truth in it. "Ho hum, I'm the nerdy med student in the short white coat with -200K in the bank... will u sex with me?"

 

[management]

Can I just say that I find most of this thread super depressing? I had a pretty crappy undergraduate dating scene, and I have to say I was looking forward to meeting more mature guys who would be ready for serious relationships.

But my impression from this thread is that there aren't going to be many guys who aren't taken or mature or ready to date anyone, and those who might want a girlfriend are going to be intimidated by me, a female future doctor.

I hope I'm wrong...

For the FEW guys outside of med school that may be intimidated by you, you wouldn't want them. Truth be told though, not many guys are intimidated by smart women. We don't like manipulative women.....I won't even deal with a shady woman period, but cute, smart, feminine women are lovely.

Guys at your school will be aspiring to be a doctor just like you, so they won't have a reason to be intimidated by you. Just be cooperative to the guy you're interested in, and see how it goes.

 

[Dr Tony T. Chopper]

A pre-med at my UG just asked if DOs can date MDs...

 

[ZX10R]

Only if they pass USMLE steps and match ACGME.

 

[Dr.Smexy]

A pre-med at my UG just asked if DOs can date MDs...

DOs dating MDs? That's taboo brother. Just as royals don't date common people....

 

[Psai]

DOs dating MDs? That's taboo brother. Just as royals don't date common people....

The duchess of cambridge doesn't agree with your assessment

 

[SonhosDaVida]

I'd go for some med school dating. 运

 

[miss_north]

Med school seems to be quite damaging to dating life, at least for me. My previous relationship actually ended because I decided to go to med school across the country. And now it seem that I barely have any time to meet new people or socialize outside of med school. :/ I guess I'm going to have to learn to schedule school stuff better and arrange time for other things in life too.

 

[Señor S]

Assuming your boyfriend meets a fairly low minimum attractiveness requirement, being in med school is his ticket to easy action if he wants it.

Uh...can somebody explain how this works? Asking for a friend.

 

[PL198]

A pre-med at my UG just asked if DOs can date MDs...

no

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

I see my classmates so often (we spend pretty much all day together bc of mandatory lecture/labs, unless they go home to study after classes) that it's hard to imagine dating one of them. If things went South, you'd still have to be around the person pretty much constantly, so it'd be a rough split. You'd have to be okay with not having much space between the two of you.

Also, many of the guys are 22/23 and I'm a few years older, so there's a bit of a maturity gap. And 50% of the class is married, so that's a bit of a bummer.

Not so worried about dating at this point, honestly. Having a lot of fun with my classmates as friends. You meet so many good people in med school!

 

[Dr Tony T. Chopper]

I don't know about other guys but my peers and i are infatuated with older women. Its sort of a habit grown out of the tendancy to find greater intellectual satisfaction in these partners. I think you dont need to worry about finding a guy younger than you to date. Unless, of course the age gap deters you greatly.

I see my classmates so often (we spend pretty much all day together bc of mandatory lecture/labs, unless they go home to study after classes) that it's hard to imagine dating one of them. If things went South, you'd still have to be around the person pretty much constantly, so it'd be a rough split. You'd have to be okay with not having much space between the two of you.

Also, many of the guys are 22/23 and I'm a few years older, so there's a bit of a maturity gap. And 50% of the class is married, so that's a bit of a bummer.

Not so worried about dating at this point, honestly. Having a lot of fun with my classmates as friends. You meet so many good people in med school!

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

I don't know about other guys but my peers and i are infatuated with older women. Its sort of a habit grown out of the tendancy to find greater intellectual satisfaction in these partners. I think you dont need to worry about finding a guy younger than you to date. Unless, of course the age gap deters you greatly.

Haha, the age gap doesn't deter me! The behavior does. It's rare to find young guys who don't just want to play the field. Nothing wrong with that, either.

 

[Meeehai]

Its sort of a habit grown out of the tendancy to find greater intellectual satisfaction in these partners.

You mean greater experience in the sack.

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

You mean greater experience in the sack.

Why does this stereotype exist? It's so unfair.

 

[Dr Tony T. Chopper]

I cannot confirm nor deny this claim.

 

[graviton]

.

 

[scoKraz4]

It's b/c having a passion and ambition like medicine is naturally attractive to a girl. Money and power aside, having a passion as intense as a medical student's with ANYTHING will come off as more attractive to a girl.

Yeah but too bad that money/power doesn't come until years down the road. Not as attractive as the investment banker who already has all of it. As of now you are just a broke student.. with no time.. who talks about medical stuff all the time(which isn't interesting to most people), and may have to move every few years for the next 10 years to random places. It is your personality that is going to make or break your hookup opportunities. Also doesn't hurt to play guitar in a band.

 

[The Best Psychiatrist]

I've never had a girlfriend. Beginning medical school soon. Advice?

 

[OverlyRomantic]

I've never had a girlfriend. Beginning medical school soon. Advice?

Hit the gym and work on your body. Looks are not everything, but they help.

Study your ass off and succeed in medical school. Don't chase after girls. Chase success, and the girls will chase after you.

If you're so so so serious about hooking up, remember that it's a numbers game. A lot of girls might say no. Some might say yes. Keep at it.

If you truly want a girlfriend, realize that medical school is your #1 girlfriend. If I were you, I wouldn't actively look for a significant other. If someone amazing comes along, and there's chemistry between the two of you, chances are something will happen.

Lastly: BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. Work on what you think your shortcomings are. Don't do it to impress others. Do it to impress yourself. Do it to build up your CONFIDENCE. Self confidence is attractive.

Bonus - people love funny dudes who can keep a conversation going. Try relaxing and being more engaging. Always be yourself, but try to improve on this if it's a weak point.


These are just my pointers. I could be completely wrong about all of the above. This is just what's worked for me.




Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[The Best Psychiatrist]

Hit the gym and work on your body. Looks are not everything, but they help.

Study your ass off and succeed in medical school. Don't chase after girls. Chase success, and the girls will chase after you.

If you're so so so serious about hooking up, remember that it's a numbers game. A lot of girls might say no. Some might say yes. Keep at it.

If you truly want a girlfriend, realize that medical school is your #1 girlfriend. If I were you, I wouldn't actively look for a significant other. If someone amazing comes along, and there's chemistry between the two of you, chances are something will happen.

Lastly: BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. Work on what you think your shortcomings are. Don't do it to impress others. Do it to impress yourself. Do it to build up your CONFIDENCE. Self confidence is attractive.

Bonus - people love funny dudes who can keep a conversation going. Try relaxing and being more engaging. Always be yourself, but try to improve on this if it's a weak point.


These are just my pointers. I could be completely wrong about all of the above. This is just what's worked for me.




Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

"OverlyRomantic". Very appropriate name. But I'm gonna call you The Love Doctor.

But, thanks for your input!

 

[SphereGlobe]

I'm a female med student. I spent the first two years of med school dating various grad/law/med students who I met through friends. It probably took a hit on my step 1 score, but I met my future husband who is amazing at a time when I had relatively more freedom.

We met when a neighbor brought me to a party for residents, and I just shook hands with my SO. We kept seeing each other at the gym and started getting lunch. He's still a resident.

My general philosophy: just stay friendly and say hi to everyone. My SO is the kind of person who stops to talk to everyone he knows at the gym, even very distant acquaintances. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have met me beyond the initial handshake at a party. I met my neighbor (who brought me to the party for residents) by stopping to talk to a random woman standing in my hallway who requested extra space in my freezer after a power outage. Most med students don't have a problem meeting people - you come into contact with new people constantly in medicine. Just don't be afraid to reach out - sometimes the other side just needs a small nudge in the right direction to break the platonic ice. It's about knowing what the small nudges consist of. You'll learn quickly by trying!

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

and yes med school has made it easier to hook up with girls.....

How?

Hit the gym and work on your body. Looks are not everything, but they help.

Study your ass off and succeed in medical school. Don't chase after girls. Chase success, and the girls will chase after you.

If you're so so so serious about hooking up, remember that it's a numbers game. A lot of girls might say no. Some might say yes. Keep at it.

If you truly want a girlfriend, realize that medical school is your #1 girlfriend. If I were you, I wouldn't actively look for a significant other. If someone amazing comes along, and there's chemistry between the two of you, chances are something will happen.

Lastly: BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. Work on what you think your shortcomings are. Don't do it to impress others. Do it to impress yourself. Do it to build up your CONFIDENCE. Self confidence is attractive.

Bonus - people love funny dudes who can keep a conversation going. Try relaxing and being more engaging. Always be yourself, but try to improve on this if it's a weak point.


These are just my pointers. I could be completely wrong about all of the above. This is just what's worked for me.




Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

Cmon dude your advice goes against everything that's true in this generation. Looks aren't everything but it's the most important thing by far unless you're strictly going for average girls or lower. And getting a really nice body is a little bonus (helped more in the past) but it's mostly your face + being low body fat. Not saying personality and confidence don't matter but it's never the first thing if she has prettier options.

Also I wouldn't ever recommend to chase success if you want to have fun dating. Girls may chase you if you're extremely attractive but if not you'll be lonely if you aren't actively pursuing others.

 

[OverlyRomantic]

How?


Cmon dude your advice goes against everything that's true in this generation. Looks aren't everything but it's the most important thing by far unless you're strictly going for average girls or lower. And getting a really nice body is a little bonus (helped more in the past) but it's mostly your face + being low body fat. Not saying personality and confidence don't matter but it's never the first thing if she has prettier options.

Also I wouldn't ever recommend to chase success if you want to have fun dating. Girls may chase you if you're extremely attractive but if not you'll be lonely if you aren't actively pursuing others.

To each their own man. Looks are important, but I still say that they're not the most important thing. I get where you're coming from, but we have different opinions on this topic. As for chasing success, people are attracted to him. I did preface that by saying that if he's serious about dating and hooking up, then to remember that it's a numbers game. What I meant by that is to just keep trying to date girls.