Dating in Medical School

[Excelsius]

She's right, actually.

I used to study philosophy. Mentioning that typically provoked a noticeable negative reaction on dates. Same thing for working as a programmer.

Mentioning that I study medicine, on the other hand, almost always provokes a positive response.

When socializing/consummating with the wrong type, we can't use that experience to profess a generalization. Anyone who can't appreciate the beauty of the metaphysical world likely cannot appreciate many other scientific endeavors with much depth, much less be a judge. As such, your experience more reveals personalities of vast ignorance who likely appreciate the study of medicine as a venue of income from their future husband rather than as a core science that is to be more extolled than metaphysics. This is perhaps not much different from your own motives to spend your time with that particular type of people not so much for their kernels of sophistication but their keisters of salacity. Ask yourself if you'd marry that type.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I'm...uh...not a terribly big fan of philosophy. I don't see how that has any effect on my appreciation of science. It pulls a negative reaction because, like pre-meds with neuroticism and backstabbing, people with a heavy philosophy background are characterized as aloof, condescending coffee shop rats.

 

[username456789]

When socializing/consummating with the wrong type, we can't use that experience to profess a generalization. Anyone who can't appreciate the beauty of the metaphysical world likely cannot appreciate many other scientific endeavors with much depth, much less be a judge. As such, your experience more reveals personalities of vast ignorance who likely appreciate the study of medicine as a venue of income from their future husband rather than as a core science that is to be more extolled than metaphysics. This is perhaps not much different from your own motives to spend your time with that particular type of people not so much for their kernels of sophistication but their keisters of salacity. Ask yourself if you'd marry that type.

No offense, but why do you type like this? Is it to intentionally annoy readers?

And as MilkmanAl said, I really don't see what appreciation of philosophy (or the "metaphysical world") has to do with appreciating science and discovery one bit.

The negative reaction on dates is probably equally due to the message it conveys to many: I flush lots of money down toilets.
Liberal arts educations are great and all, but the value is hyperinflated. The idea stemmed from back in the days when the children of rich and powerful people had no need to learn trades/job skills, so they simply went to universities and pontificated on matters that likely affected nothing in their lives directly. Then they went back home and dad handed over lots of money and land.

But I digress. Slightly.

 

[Excelsius]

No offense, but why do you type like this? Is it to intentionally annoy readers?
...

No. It is because I am not entirely serious. However, I think that you guys are serious now. I have to say that I entirely disagree with the notion that philosophers fit this rich, privileged, and squandering stereotype. This is the first time I am hearing that.

Like I said, I am not a philosopher and don't want to enter a discourse, but consider that your disrespect to philosophers could be due to lack of knowledge about the field. What you describe might fit Sophists (which is considered a lowly word these days), but Socrates, whose path to philosophy we followed thousands of years ago, was just an average man with no possessions that simply walked around and taught the youth - for free. And you are also misinterpreting the phenomenon of wealthy philosophers. Some of the philosophers since the Renaissance were more or less well-off because having enough money to survive allowed them time to focus their studies on issues beyond our pedestrian everyday lives. Were all of them well off? NO. And guess what? There were no scientists before. All of them were philosophers - Newton, Copernicus, Galileo, Galen, etc. Physics is a branch of philosophy that resulted only as a result of philosophy. So did every other branch of science (Pythagoras was a Sophist). So before you seriously make such sweeping comments about philosophy, please review the past and make sure that your comments are justified. I am sure you don't like when the public thinks of doctors as rich pricks with overinflated hubris who went into the field only for the money (which is true sometimes). And if you think that philosophy is so easy that students take that major just so that they get a degree and get paid by their rich parents, you obviously don't know much about the subject. Pick up any of Kant's books and tell me how long it takes you to understand a single page vs any other of your premed classes.

P.S.: Not loving philosophy or studying it is not the same as condescending to anyone who does. You obviously don't need philosophy to understand biochemistry.

 

[weightyheart]

The core of philosophy is logic and reasoning. It is an analysis of the natural world without the limitations of modern science and the scientific method. I would love to date a philosopher chick. To repeat what excelsius said, those who downplay the role of philosophy in the development of human and individual thought probably do not understand it.

 

[MilkmanAl]

It is an analysis of the natural world without the limitations of modern science and the scientific method.

Granted, I haven't had a whole lot of formal exposure to philosophy (4 college courses), but I would describe the philosophy I've seen more as an exercise in endlessly parsing semantics and creating definitions of terms to support further parsing than an "analysis of the natural world." Dating someone practiced in that sort of "logic" would drive me up a wall.

 

[username456789]

And if you think that philosophy is so easy

Do you ever run out of straw building all those little men?

 

[coldweatherblue]

my fav philosophy memory from undergrad was "The Analogy of the Cave" from Plato's Republic. everyone should ponder about that for a while...

 

[howelljolly]

No. It is because I am not entirely serious. However, I think that you guys are serious now. I have to say that I entirely disagree with the notion that philosophers fit this rich, privileged, and squandering stereotype. This is the first time I am hearing that.

Like I said, I am not a philosopher and don't want to enter a discourse, but consider that your disrespect to philosophers could be due to lack of knowledge about the field. What you describe might fit Sophists (which is considered a lowly word these days), but Socrates, whose path to philosophy we followed thousands of years ago, was just an average man with no possessions that simply walked around and taught the youth - for free. And you are also misinterpreting the phenomenon of wealthy philosophers. Some of the philosophers since the Renaissance were more or less well-off because having enough money to survive allowed them time to focus their studies on issues beyond our pedestrian everyday lives. Were all of them well off? NO. And guess what? There were no scientists before. All of them were philosophers - Newton, Copernicus, Galileo, Galen, etc. Physics is a branch of philosophy that resulted only as a result of philosophy. So did every other branch of science (Pythagoras was a Sophist). So before you seriously make such sweeping comments about philosophy, please review the past and make sure that your comments are justified. I am sure you don't like when the public thinks of doctors as rich pricks with overinflated hubris who went into the field only for the money (which is true sometimes). And if you think that philosophy is so easy that students take that major just so that they get a degree and get paid by their rich parents, you obviously don't know much about the subject. Pick up any of Kant's books and tell me how long it takes you to understand a single page vs any other of your premed classes.

P.S.: Not loving philosophy or studying it is not the same as condescending to anyone who does. You obviously don't need philosophy to understand biochemistry.

Metaphysics came next. Physics-Metaphysics Carpal-Metacarpal

I actually find myself using philosophy in clinical decision making. Particularly in "how will it change my management" type issues, and the usual Occams Razor stuff. But Im a geek.

 

[howelljolly]

my fav philosophy memory from undergrad was "The Analogy of the Cave" from Plato's Republic. everyone should ponder about that for a while...

I use the Analogy of the Cave when I explain cardiac auscultation.

 

[Excelsius]

Granted, I haven't had a whole lot of formal exposure to philosophy (4 college courses), but I would describe the philosophy I've seen more as an exercise in endlessly parsing semantics and creating definitions of terms to support further parsing than an "analysis of the natural world." Dating someone practiced in that sort of "logic" would drive me up a wall.

Philosophy is not the only class that colleges butcher. Though perhaps it is even easier to get it wrong in college because it is not so easy to teach. I have not liked the philosophy courses either, so I limited myself to only two in college. But a course taught in one particular college by a particular instructor does not translate into a poor field. Science is pretty clear cut, so you learn this or that equation in a course and then apply them to problems in that same book. Philosophy and other similar courses are too much at the mercy of the teacher, therefore you will often be better off to go directly to the source and interpret the original works yourself. I think that disliking the teacher or the set up of the course can translate into disliking the subject. Many of us have experienced this, even though these should be separate.

In the end, don't you find it ludicrous that if you're dating someone and you mention the word "philosophy" and studying it (or any other subject, maybe except accounting), that the person will somehow take that against your or stop dating you? Either the "datee" is shallow or the "dater" is too caught up in the moment to realize that it is not philosophy that is turning off his date. And I still don't see how a poor course in college translates into an assumption that philosophers are rich kids who went to school only to major in this "easy" subject for the money they would get from their daddy.

 

[Excelsius]

I use the Analogy of the Cave when I explain cardiac auscultation.

And then follow up by open-heart surgery to complete the analogy! Hahahaha.

 

[swirldog]

I'm a M1.

Haven't hooked up with anyone from my school because for one thing I'm not a fan of eating where I ****.

I did hook up with a cute Hooters waitress after the last UFC. Of course, I've been going to Hooters to watch the UFC PPVs for years now and it was about time the flirting and gamesmanship paid off.

 

[UVAbme2009]

I'm a M1.

Haven't hooked up with anyone from my school because for one thing I'm not a fan of eating where I ****.

I did hook up with a cute Hooters waitress after the last UFC. Of course, I've been going to Hooters to watch the UFC PPVs for years now and it was about time the flirting and gamesmanship paid off.

I don't know where this thread went, but DON'T DO IT!!!!!

 

[sunset823]

My school is drier than the Mojave desert when it comes to dating potential, especially for an older female (i.e., 25) - many of the guys are married/in relationships and the ones that aren't are rather immature 22ish year olds...living in suburban, bordering on rural midwest doesn't help...where I went for undergrad was definitely no better, most of my friends in MI are married now, or on the verge of being so.

I didn't have any intention of dating in med school (I've never been in a serious relationship either), but I've determined the only option I have is getting a residency in a city with a good singles scene. I don't mind waiting till after residency, at least by then guys will be settled and more mature, I prefer older guys right now anyway (i.e., at least 3 years older than me), and that is definitely lacking in my current situation.

Edit: I was answering the original question, but looking above I see we left that behind a long time ago.
P.S. I'm the bloodthirsty, chip on the shoulder, breaking up the old boys network type

 

[TDX]

My school is drier than the Mojave desert when it comes to dating potential, especially for an older female (i.e., 25) - many of the guys are married/in relationships and the ones that aren't are rather immature 22ish year olds...living in suburban, bordering on rural midwest doesn't help...where I went for undergrad was definitely no better, most of my friends in MI are married now, or on the verge of being so.

I didn't have any intention of dating in med school (I've never been in a serious relationship either), but I've determined the only option I have is getting a residency in a city with a good singles scene. I don't mind waiting till after residency, at least by then guys will be settled and more mature, I prefer older guys right now anyway (i.e., at least 3 years older than me), and that is definitely lacking in my current situation.

Edit: I was answering the original question, but looking above I see we left that behind a long time ago.
P.S. I'm the bloodthirsty, chip on the shoulder, breaking up the old boys network type

Please refrain from using the word "older" when describing yourself. I'm 28, so if you're "older" I don't even want to know what that makes me...

 

[TDX]

When socializing/consummating with the wrong type, we can't use that experience to profess a generalization.

When warning against hasty generalizations, you might want to avoid making them yourself in the sentence directly following that warning.

Anyone who can't appreciate the beauty of the metaphysical world likely cannot appreciate many other scientific endeavors with much depth, much less be a judge. As such, your experience more reveals personalities of vast ignorance who likely appreciate the study of medicine as a venue of income from their future husband rather than as a core science that is to be more extolled than metaphysics. This is perhaps not much different from your own motives to spend your time with that particular type of people not so much for their kernels of sophistication but their keisters of salacity. Ask yourself if you'd marry that type.

 

[Excelsius]

When warning against hasty generalizations, you might want to avoid making them yourself in the sentence directly following that warning.

I would not call that a generalization; some traits are more obvious than others. So I disagree. But if you think those two statements are really congruent, that's your interpretation.

 

[Excelsius]

My school is drier than the Mojave desert when it comes to dating potential, especially for an older female (i.e., 25) - many of the guys are married/in relationships and the ones that aren't are rather immature 22ish year olds...living in suburban, bordering on rural midwest doesn't help...where I went for undergrad was definitely no better, most of my friends in MI are married now, or on the verge of being so.

I didn't have any intention of dating in med school (I've never been in a serious relationship either), but I've determined the only option I have is getting a residency in a city with a good singles scene. I don't mind waiting till after residency, at least by then guys will be settled and more mature, I prefer older guys right now anyway (i.e., at least 3 years older than me), and that is definitely lacking in my current situation.

Edit: I was answering the original question, but looking above I see we left that behind a long time ago.
P.S. I'm the bloodthirsty, chip on the shoulder, breaking up the old boys network type

Maturity and physical age can be correlated, but you'd be wrong to assume that age is the main determinant. I know guys approaching 40 who would still be considered immature and vice versa.

 

[sunset823]

Maturity and physical age can be correlated, but you'd be wrong to assume that age is the main determinant. I know guys approaching 40 who would still be considered immature and vice versa.

oh, I know, I know immature males pushing 50, but it's much more rare to find the 'vice versa', i.e., a mature, well settled guy just out of undergrad - and if those guys exist, they're taken, fast

 

[TDX]

I would not call that a generalization; some traits are more obvious than others. So I disagree. But if you think those two statements are really congruent, that's your interpretation.

Traits may be obvious, but rarely so obvious that you can derive them from single sentences not directly describing the traits in question.

Considering that the very definition of hasty generalizations is reaching wide-reaching inductive conclusions based on insufficient evidence, I'd say that you provided us all with a prime example of one.

 

[Neuronix]

if those guys exist, they're taken, fast

I was far more settled and ready for marriage in my early 20s than I am now. The women at that age aren't mature either, you know. I had my heart broken a couple times by women I thought I wanted to marry, and now I'm content being alone or not serious with women.

I also think this whole concept of 'maturity' is so much in the eye of the beholder as to be a nearly meaningless concept. Am I more 'mature' now than I was then, when I was certain of and working hard towards a path in life that I wouldn't actually end up taking? Now that I'm wiser I'm much more unsure about things than I was before. So does this make me less mature since I'm not ready to settle down to much of anything? Or am I more mature because I can see a bigger picture in life and have more real world experience? It all depends who you ask.

 

[engineeredout]

Speaking of philosophy, I was sitting in a biochemistry lecture the other day and wikipedia'd "Suicide". Eventually led to this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide

Pondering that puzzle was almost as big of a waste as biochem lectures on transcription/translation.

 

[Nikki2002]

sex is fun. do it.

 

[swedishfish]

I'm a med student and I joined a dating site. The amount of residents in the local area nearby I have seen on this site is kind of scary.

It makes me wonder if we all really do put too much focus on just making it through medical school and then hoping everything will fall into place in residency..

 

[MilkmanAl]

sex is fun. do it.

I like your style.

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

I'm a med student and I joined a dating site. The amount of residents in the local area nearby I have seen on this site is kind of scary.

It makes me wonder if we all really do put too much focus on just making it through medical school and then hoping everything will fall into place in residency..

which city is this?

 

[sivman17]

sex is fun. do it.

that should be on billboards

 

[wideeyedbty]

Hi all. I'm a non med-schooler here, just a bit curious to know if I was unreasonable About a month or so ago I had met an MS3, we hit it off (or so i thought) and things heated up fast and fell apart very quickly. I had to end it out of fear of getting hurt because he wouldn't ever clarify if what we were doing was dating and... just called it "hangin out" and quite honestly it just left me feeling like we were just FWB.

I'm not at all familiar with med school schedules, I just hear it's bad and though he complained that his schedule sucked.. he never fully explained the extent of HOW bad and how that would affect us. I just wonder.... if you're MS3 and you meet someone you liked and wanted to truly date them, wouldn't you make that clear? and explain that despite the schedule issues that he is truly interested? Or does it not matter what profession you are and the mind games/"he's just not that into you" syndrome is still possible?

 

[MadAznScientist]

Hi all. I'm a non med-schooler here, just a bit curious to know if I was unreasonable About a month or so ago I had met an MS3, we hit it off (or so i thought) and things heated up fast and fell apart very quickly. I had to end it out of fear of getting hurt because he wouldn't ever clarify if what we were doing was dating and... just called it "hangin out" and quite honestly it just left me feeling like we were just FWB.

I'm not at all familiar with med school schedules, I just hear it's bad and though he complained that his schedule sucked.. he never fully explained the extent of HOW bad and how that would affect us. I just wonder.... if you're MS3 and you meet someone you liked and wanted to truly date them, wouldn't you make that clear? and explain that despite the schedule issues that he is truly interested? Or does it not matter what profession you are and the mind games/"he's just not that into you" syndrome is still possible?

Whaaaatt, third years have time to date?! You must be insanely hot, or he was on one of the less demanding rotations.

 

[wideeyedbty]

Whaaaatt, third years have time to date?! You must be insanely hot, or he was on one of the less demanding rotations.

LOL... I guess it was the 2nd one? I honestly have ZERO knowledge about med school because I'm a 9-5er... If I had known that his intentions were 100% good then I wouldn't have been so hasty... but with his lack of clarity and lack of explaining the schedule thing... what's a girl to do? bah!

 

[MilkmanAl]

He could've held back for a variety of reasons, but I'd imagine virtually all of them involved his schedule somehow. Some of the third year rotations are fairly life-friendly, but many are not, and in all cases, you are never going to be sure of your exact schedule. I obviously don't know this guy, but I'd say there was a very high probability he was just hanging back because he figured any possible relationship was doomed to failure.

I don't really understand why he wouldn't at least try to explain his hours and stress to you if he was interested in at least some basal form of commitment, but I can tell you that sometimes it's nice to just not talk about school at all. It's basically impossible to comprehend what med students and residents go through if you haven't done it yourself, and sometimes it almost feels patronizing to have people try to empathize with "I know how you feel" comments, which, obviously, is a fairly common way to respond to someone venting. Sometimes people suck at communicating and can't get that info across.

 

[wideeyedbty]

He could've held back for a variety of reasons, but I'd imagine virtually all of them involved his schedule somehow. Some of the third year rotations are fairly life-friendly, but many are not, and in all cases, you are never going to be sure of your exact schedule. I obviously don't know this guy, but I'd say there was a very high probability he was just hanging back because he figured any possible relationship was doomed to failure.

I don't really understand why he wouldn't at least try to explain his hours and stress to you if he was interested in at least some basal form of commitment, but I can tell you that sometimes it's nice to just not talk about school at all. It's basically impossible to comprehend what med students and residents go through if you haven't done it yourself, and sometimes it almost feels patronizing to have people try to empathize with "I know how you feel" comments, which, obviously, is a fairly common way to respond to someone venting. Sometimes people suck at communicating and can't get that info across.

Sigh. It's too bad, I'm pretty laid back and would've understood under the circumstances... but I'm not a mind reader by any means. Wish things would've turned out differently... oh well =\

 

[MilkmanAl]

You can always call him back, you know.

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

LOL... I guess it was the 2nd one? I honestly have ZERO knowledge about med school because I'm a 9-5er... If I had known that his intentions were 100% good then I wouldn't have been so hasty... but with his lack of clarity and lack of explaining the schedule thing... what's a girl to do? bah!

even if he was busy he could have told you how busy he was. since he did not do that it probably implies he is not that into you. besides, next year (m4, so would be fall/winter 2010) he'll be out of town a lot on interviews, and he may have to move very far away in a year's time.

 

[wideeyedbty]

You can always call him back, you know.

I don't think he'd be open to it now after a month when I had told him things weren't working out and when I explained what kind of dating situation I was used to, which to once again he didn't bother explaining like "my schedule sucks and that's why i can't date you like a normal person".... So I assumed he's just not that interested and calling him now would probably make me seem "typical" a.k.a. desperate, psycho etc. etc. whatever guys think about women. lol.

 

[wideeyedbty]

since he did not do that it probably implies he is not that into you.

that's what i figured ah well!

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

that's what i figured ah well!

he was probably on fam med for a month and had time to get wet for a bit

 

[wideeyedbty]

he was probably on fam med for a month and had time to get wet for a bit

I think he was actually on peds?

 

[Orbo]

Hi all. I'm a non med-schooler here, just a bit curious to know if I was unreasonable About a month or so ago I had met an MS3, we hit it off (or so i thought) and things heated up fast and fell apart very quickly. I had to end it out of fear of getting hurt because he wouldn't ever clarify if what we were doing was dating and... just called it "hangin out" and quite honestly it just left me feeling like we were just FWB.

I'm not at all familiar with med school schedules, I just hear it's bad and though he complained that his schedule sucked.. he never fully explained the extent of HOW bad and how that would affect us. I just wonder.... if you're MS3 and you meet someone you liked and wanted to truly date them, wouldn't you make that clear? and explain that despite the schedule issues that he is truly interested? Or does it not matter what profession you are and the mind games/"he's just not that into you" syndrome is still possible?

He wanted sex and companionship (i.e. someone to "hang out" with) with someone good-looking and easy to talk to. You provided it. You wanted a long-term relationship. He knew that wasn't going to happen because of some combination of a) he's not that into you and b) he knows that anything long term won't work unless he's really going for the long haul (i.e. he's not that into you to think about marriage nor should he probably be unless you're like frickin perfectly amazing for him).

Clear?

 

[wideeyedbty]

He wanted sex and companionship (i.e. someone to "hang out" with) with someone good-looking and easy to talk to. You provided it. You wanted a long-term relationship. He knew that wasn't going to happen because of some combination of a) he's not that into you and b) he knows that anything long term won't work unless he's really going for the long haul (i.e. he's not that into you to think about marriage nor should he probably be unless you're like frickin perfectly amazing for him).

Clear?

crystal.

 

[OpalOnyx]

crystal.

forget about the loser and move on. I think schedules can only be blamed so much, my opinion is just that he's a loser and as stated above did not want to make it work.

 

[MilkmanAl]

In general, I'd agree, but you really have to account for how outrageously socially inept med students can be. It throws a whole new variable into the equation.

 

[PranBobbyJohnny]

forget about the loser and move on. I think schedules can only be blamed so much, my opinion is just that he's a loser and as stated above did not want to make it work.

wait till you are an m3. even m2 should do. i agree that the guy wasn't interested enough to pursue it long term, but you can't really blame him for being a loser. too many variables that you cannot control as a med student. heck for all we know he might even be doing the military program

 

[socalpsych]

Hi all. I'm a non med-schooler here, just a bit curious to know if I was unreasonable About a month or so ago I had met an MS3, we hit it off (or so i thought) and things heated up fast and fell apart very quickly. I had to end it out of fear of getting hurt because he wouldn't ever clarify if what we were doing was dating and... just called it "hangin out" and quite honestly it just left me feeling like we were just FWB.

I'm not at all familiar with med school schedules, I just hear it's bad and though he complained that his schedule sucked.. he never fully explained the extent of HOW bad and how that would affect us. I just wonder.... if you're MS3 and you meet someone you liked and wanted to truly date them, wouldn't you make that clear? and explain that despite the schedule issues that he is truly interested? Or does it not matter what profession you are and the mind games/"he's just not that into you" syndrome is still possible?

Ummmmm yeahhhhhhhhhhhh...ditch him. If I a guy is truly interested, he will continue to pursue you. Here is a thought though...when you sleep with guys too quickly they (No Matter WHAT THEY SAY TO COMBAT THIS) tend to view you differently unless they are really really into you.

Since my last ltr I have sworn off anything too serious. I just don't have the time it takes to maintain a healthy relationship. Once I am closer to finishing school and practicum isn't kicking my a** then I'll check out the sea. But in the mean time...shrugs...

Oh one more thing, if I met someone I was totally into I would make time for them.

 

[girlofgrace7]

She's right, actually.

I used to study philosophy. Mentioning that typically provoked a noticeable negative reaction on dates. Same thing for working as a programmer.

Mentioning that I study medicine, on the other hand, almost always provokes a positive response.

I actually had a guy discuss Kierkegaard on a first date with me (in a non-pompous way). I'm not used to being intellectually challenged by a guy; so, I was a bit intrigued. I guess it depends on what type of girl you're looking for. If you want an intelligent and thoughtful girl, tell them you're into philosophy. Telling a girl you're studying medicine is a little more risky since the girl could either be intelligent or just want to become a trophy wife.

 

[socalpsych]

WOW...this thread just made me see how anti relationship I am. LOL

 

[smq123]

Hi all. I'm a non med-schooler here, just a bit curious to know if I was unreasonable About a month or so ago I had met an MS3, we hit it off (or so i thought) and things heated up fast and fell apart very quickly. I had to end it out of fear of getting hurt because he wouldn't ever clarify if what we were doing was dating and... just called it "hangin out" and quite honestly it just left me feeling like we were just FWB.

I'm not at all familiar with med school schedules, I just hear it's bad and though he complained that his schedule sucked.. he never fully explained the extent of HOW bad and how that would affect us. I just wonder.... if you're MS3 and you meet someone you liked and wanted to truly date them, wouldn't you make that clear? and explain that despite the schedule issues that he is truly interested? Or does it not matter what profession you are and the mind games/"he's just not that into you" syndrome is still possible?

You've known him less than a month and you're already itching to define if you're "dating" or just "hanging out"? And after just a month you wonder how his crappy schedule will affect "us"?

Is it possible that you were pushing too hard and too early? Maybe he got scared off.

I don't really understand why he wouldn't at least try to explain his hours and stress to you if he was interested in at least some basal form of commitment, but I can tell you that sometimes it's nice to just not talk about school at all. It's basically impossible to comprehend what med students and residents go through if you haven't done it yourself, and sometimes it almost feels patronizing to have people try to empathize with "I know how you feel" comments, which, obviously, is a fairly common way to respond to someone venting. Sometimes people suck at communicating and can't get that info across.

Why bother trying to explain to someone what your schedule is like when you KNOW that the other person won't understand? It's just exhausting and frustrating.

You can only trot out the tired old line "Well, my schedule depends on what rotation I'm on" so many times before it just gets old. And trying to explain in depth just makes peoples' eyes glaze over. Don't even get me started on trying to explain overnight call/night float schedules to people, either.

 

[MilkmanAl]

Why bother trying to explain to someone what your schedule is like when you KNOW that the other person won't understand? It's just exhausting and frustrating.

Oh no, I'm with you there, but I'm always one for full disclosure on things like that. It seems to prevent a lot of strife down the line when you can say, "Well, like I told you, I work these hours, and that frequently has this effect on me," even if what you're saying doesn't really register. In any event, it's on record.

 

[OpalOnyx]

wait till you are an m3. even m2 should do. i agree that the guy wasn't interested enough to pursue it long term, but you can't really blame him for being a loser. too many variables that you cannot control as a med student. heck for all we know he might even be doing the military program

yeah - i kind of do blame him for being a loser. i know of a few med students who date non-med students for a while and the schedule suddenly gets too busy and they break things off. it's kind of hard to believe that they didnt know in advance how busy their life was going to become... duh. if you are looking for a fling, just be straight about that from the beginning. i dont think it's correct to lead someone on and then bail with the "oh look i'm in med school" excuse. that sounds pretty loser-ific to me.