How do I toughen up emotionally?

[kitty613]

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I have always wanted to be a vet, but for the longest time the thing that always held me back from pursuing my dream was the fear of seeing (and euthanizing) sick animals. However, recently I let go of my fears and realized that I didn't want this to hold me back from helping animals in need. Easier said than done...

Case in point: Yesterday, I started volunteering at a shelter and administering medication (under a veterinarian) to sick cats who are abandoned, abused and/or neglected. Two particular cats tore at my heartstrings like you wouldn't believe. Just seeing animals so sick, and then having to give them IV's and hearing them in pain from the needle, just makes me cringe. Or giving them medicine when all they want to do is put their head down, makes me sad. I know I am new to this, and I want to toughen up emotionally, but yesterday was just so hard. My heart was very heavy.

I talked to other volunteers and they said that you do get 'hardened' to the sadness; however, I want to hear from you all. Were you emotional when first dealing with sad senarios like this? How do you deal with it? When does it get better? If at all?

 

[EllieGirl89]

I have always wanted to be a vet, but for the longest time the thing that always held me back from pursuing my dream was the fear of seeing (and euthanizing) sick animals. However, recently I let go of my fears and realized that I didn't want this to hold me back from helping animals in need. Easier said than done...

Case in point: Yesterday, I started volunteering at a shelter and administering medication (under a veterinarian) to sick cats who are abandoned, abused and/or neglected. Two particular cats tore at my heartstrings like you wouldn't believe. Just seeing animals so sick, and then having to give them IV's and hearing them in pain from the needle, just makes me cringe. Or giving them medicine when all they want to do is put their head down, makes me sad. I know I am new to this, and I want to toughen up emotionally, but yesterday was just so hard. My heart was very heavy.

I talked to other volunteers and they said that you do get 'hardened' to the sadness; however, I want to hear from you all. Were you emotional when first dealing with sad senarios like this? How do you deal with it? When does it get better? If at all?

I'm very emotional. If you read my rant from yesterday, I started crying writing a substantial check to my University. I don't deal well with conflict, and I tend to cry when I get angry. Animals in pain also makes me sad. But at the same time, I live by my mother's two mantras: "You gotta do what you gotta do" and "What is, is." Sometimes when an animal is sick or hurt we have to do painful things to them in order to help them. It's a means to an end. While it sucks to make an animal cry, you just have to remember that it's in their best interest. If you stick around the shelter long enough, you'll begin to see the animals that you've helped begin to improve and feel better, and you'll make the connection that your care helped get them there.

I believe that often you do just harden up to it. But sometimes, I've literally had to bite my tongue to keep from crying. You just have to remind yourself that you need to remain professional, and that feeling sad for an animal isn't going to make it better-you need to use the rational side of your brain, rather than the emotional, and think of how exactly what you're doing is going to help improve the animal's condition. Soemtimes you might need to talk yourself through it in your mind. Other times it helps to talk to the animal. But it is possible to control emotional reactions in situations where they're inappropriate.

 

[lareinesoleil]

Euthanizing sick animals, while sad, isn't as hard for me as some of the other aspects - because if they are suffering, putting them out of their misery is a kindness we can provide. I'm not saying it's not sad, it just doesn't depress me like neglect or abuse does. As for the rest of it, when you've seen a bit more, you also may be able to think of it like "yes this IV hurts them right now, but I know how much better it's going to make them feel". In that way, it gets a lot easier.

Even when you get more used to it, honestly there will always be cases that get you down - which isn't necessarily a bad thing - you don't want to get too hardened and cynical 😉

Also, someone suggested on another thread (I'd credit him/her if I could remember which thread I saw it on) that if it's just too depressing for you, you can specialize in something where there aren't so many heartbreaking cases. Ophthalmology springs to mind. Or sports medicine.

 

[roughleggedhawk]

For me, it's really important to focus on the fact that whatever we're doing to the animal, whether that be a painful procedure or euthanasia, is ultimately helping them. You need to believe that the small pain you're causing now is worth it because it will make the animal feel much less pain overall.

 

[hahatoofunny22]

EllieGirl put it nicely about remind yourself about the best interests of animals. Shelter medicine in particular is one of the worst. I've had a little bit of shelter medicine, and it was hard. I suppose you do harden up a little, but it takes time and doesn't happen overnight. I've done alot of lab animal medicine and research with terminal animals and I will say that it sort of got easy to euthanize while it got hard at the same time. It got hard because it made me verbally address the the PI's overestimation of the amount of animals needed. But got easy because I knew much of the research would ultimately not just help people but do a tremendous amount to help animals.

It's ok to get upset but.... Do your best to be strong while caring for these because animals pick up on emotions (at least I think so) and if they're sick, being emotionally strong for them might help. Everyone handles euthanasia and sick animals differently. I get upset, but I try to put that energy into activism. Spay/neuter and disease prevention programs for companion animals. Making sure labs are in strict compliance with IAUAC protocols when working with lab animals. 🙂

You'll get there 😀

 

[rosyreef]

While it sucks to make an animal cry, you just have to remember that it's in their best interest. If you stick around the shelter long enough, you'll begin to see the animals that you've helped begin to improve and feel better, and you'll make the connection that your care helped get them there.

I believe that often you do just harden up to it. But sometimes, I've literally had to bite my tongue to keep from crying. You just have to remind yourself that you need to remain professional, and that feeling sad for an animal isn't going to make it better-you need to use the rational side of your brain, rather than the emotional, and think of how exactly what you're doing is going to help improve the animal's condition. Soemtimes you might need to talk yourself through it in your mind. Other times it helps to talk to the animal. But it is possible to control emotional reactions in situations where they're inappropriate.

Well said, Ellie. I can remember the first time I assisted with the euthanization of a dog that had an advanced case of Lyme disease. It was definitely difficult to see the dog in that condition, but I also felt horrible for the family. Not only did they have to make the decision to put down their pet to save it from the pain it was in, but they also felt terrible knowing that they could have probably prevented the dog from becoming infected in the first place. I don't have much experience with shelter medicine, but I have worked with some animal research that involved eventually euthanizing the animals to determine the effectiveness of a treatment. That was also very hard, even though I knew the research done with them could eventually improve the lives of so many others of their species, as well as possibly other species in the future.

 

[bee83]

It is difficult, but I think that with time and more experience you will start to see that the good outweighs the bad in the vast majority of cases (that's why we want to do what we want to do!). For example, several weeks ago I assisted a veterinarian in wiring the lower jaw of a feral cat who had somehow broken it (there were no signs of getting hit by a car or anything). I cringed as she was pushing this large-gauge needle up through the bottom of his furry little face and piercing the thick muscle at the back of his tongue, all so she could thread the wire through where it needed to be. When he woke up from the surgery he was so miserable, and he did nothing but look at me with sad eyes every time I saw him over the next several weeks. Eventually, though, he did get better. His jaw healed and the wires came out. I didn't get to see what happened to him, but I imagine he was eventually fostered or adopted by someone who could give him extra love and attention.
Without veterinarians and the people who really seriously care about abused/neglected/abandoned/forgotten animals, the world would be a much more tragic place for many. It's the hope for the alleviation of suffering and a belief in our own abilities to help that keeps us going even when there is so much suffering in the world.
I think it would help you to make it a point to follow up with the animals that you are taking care of now. Even if you don't get to see them when they are well and feeling better, you could ask about their progress, take notice of when they get adopted. And sometimes the adopters will send a note or pictures back to the shelter to show how happy the animals are after they have fully recovered and settled in to their new homes.
Many shelter websites offer "success stories" intended to lift people's spirits and make them feel better about what the shelter is doing. It may help for you to seek out some of those happy stories when you are feeling down!
Unfortunately euthanasia is often the best option for those who are suffering too much. It's never a pleasant thing, but remember that you are doing that animal a favor. No one can change the fact that they had to suffer like they did, but they can end that suffering quickly and painlessly, and that is a blessing.
I hope you feel better about this soon. I like to think of it not as getting "hardened" to the sadness, but getting wise enough to see it in a different light. I'm confident that with time you will be able to see all the suffering in perspective with the greater good that is happening. You are helping animals feel better, and for that you should feel wonderful 🙂

 

[BLancellotti]

If working in a shelter clinic is the first experience you've had with veterinary medicine, then it's like having "The Notebook" be your first experience with movies. It will make even the most unemotional person cry.

There are plenty of uplifting aspects of veterinary medicine. I work in a rehabilitation and fitness department, and watching animals learn to walk and get around on their own is absolutely miraculous. Yeah, it's a hard road to get there, but the end result is usually pretty amazing.

I also work overtime in the ER on Sundays, which the regular ER staff refer to as "Death Days." There are shifts that I've worked that not a single animal that has come in to the hospital has left alive, either due to serious illness or lack of money. I would get in my car to go home and everything would come flooding over me and I would have to bawl my eyes out for a few minutes before I could pull myself together and start driving. I give the staff of the ER and ICU a lot of credit for being able to handle those situations day in and day out and still do amazing jobs.

That being said, my shift this weekend was particularly hard. An old man in his 70s brought in his 15yo pit bull, who was having difficulty breathing, but was still able to cover the staff in kisses. We immediately fell in love with the dog and the man, whose wife was ill in the hospital, but quickly discovered that the dog's abdomen was completely filled with fluid and he was in advanced heart failure. One of the doctors brought the man back to be with his dog while he was euthanized. At the time, I was trying to place a catheter in another patient but was having difficulty because I could not see through my tears. I looked up at the other technician and the assistant I was with and they were all crying too. The doctor escorted the man out and when he came back, we saw that he had been crying as well. These hardened ER veterans were all still touched by the pet, the client, and their story.

I personally would not want to work in a field that did not make me feel as much as veterinary medicine does. The joy you feel from seeing a sick or injured animal recover from your hard work is indescribable. I know that I may not be able to save everything, but I can certainly help those I can't save by providing them with an end to their suffering.

My suggestion to you is to try to keep from being hardened for as long as you can. Feeling is what makes us so passionate about succeeding for our patients. And if you need some inspiration, you can always come visit our miracles in rehab!

Ellie is right too. You may be upset that the animal has to have a little needle stick, but imagine how much pain they would be in if they didn't get the medication you're giving them. Have you ever gotten a shot? It's really not that bad.

 

[LMMS]

One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever received was during my first veterinary based job...

I had to euthanize a lot of animals (both small and large). I knew it was the 'right' thing to do; but still felt badly. My veterinary mentor saw that things were starting to take a toll on me and told me this:

'If it ever stops hurting, it's time to get out.'

Her advice centered around her belief that if you care, you will do everything the 'best' way and avoid any undue stress to the critter. I firmly believe this to be the case; and will remember what she said for the rest of my life.

 

[bee83]

One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever received was during my first veterinary based job...

I had to euthanize a lot of animals (both small and large). I knew it was the 'right' thing to do; but still felt badly. My veterinary mentor saw that things were starting to take a toll on me and told me this:

'If it ever stops hurting, it's time to get out.'

Her advice centered around her belief that if you care, you will do everything the 'best' way and avoid any undue stress to the critter. I firmly believe this to be the case; and will remember what she said for the rest of my life.

👍 That's really good advice.

 

[kitty613]

Oops

 

[kitty613]

If working in a shelter clinic is the first experience you've had with veterinary medicine, then it's like having "The Notebook" be your first experience with movies. It will make even the most unemotional person cry.

I never thought of it like that. You're right. I'm stumbling head first into one of the toughest areas of veterinary medicine.

 

[sabriel777]

All of this is really good advice. Honestly, one of the ways I sort of desensitized myself was by watching Animal Cops on Animal Planet. I used to cry at every episode. Now it's one of my favorite shows, especially the ones with happy endings 🙂

 

[LetItSnow]

I have always wanted to be a vet, but for the longest time the thing that always held me back from pursuing my dream was the fear of seeing (and euthanizing) sick animals.

Well, what happens to those terminal animals that aren't euthanized?

They die, and they do so more uncomfortably. Some of them run off to hide when they aren't feeling well, potentially leaving their owners feeling guilty. I still feel bad about a cat we had that went into the woods to die 20 years ago and never came back.

I don't think you want to become hardened to it. I know I don't: If I do it will mean I've lost touch with at least two reasons I want to become a vet. I think you just want to keep foremost in your mind that as sad as ending a life is, doing it with grace and dignity is showing the animal and the owner a compassion that in many places we don't even extend to humans.

In my (perhaps overly liberal) opinion, this is one area where animal medicine is leaps and bounds ahead of human medicine.

 

[New Foundland]

I think in general I'm pretty good at containing my emotions, though i'm far from robotic.
It was a lot harder starting out..
I put down and cut up a lot of baby rats, doing neuro work for an alzheimer's lab. Also have watched several horse euthanasias, and been around a couple dogs (though they died with their owners in an exam room)
And I've had to clean up after my cats like 4-5 times, using gardening shears to decap badly injured birds..

It does get a little easier, and yeah you really should think of it as helping the animal. It's never going to really be easy though to watch an owner lose a pet they care so much about and have spent such a long time with. One of the first horse euthanasias i watched, the horse was like 30 years old, and the man who owned him was talking about how he got the horse when he was about 11. I had to try real hard to suppress my emotions.

 

[clairbear]

I'd much rather have someone euthanize my pet, then watch it die on its own although it is hard. My mother doesn't believe in euthanasia, and just the way some of my pets died haunts me so much more than a euthanasia would have because honestly, who wants to see their pet lying on the ground, unable to eat, with fluids coming out of each end, or starving to death over a prolonged period of time? I would much rather do a euthanasia than have that happen.

I do think you do get used to it in a way. There are still definately cases where I want to cry, but for the most part, I forget about them after a little while.

In addition, my family raises goats, and I've been fortunate enough to have most of my market goats become pets/breeding goats which is great, but a few have gone to slaughter after they were shown as market goats. This last one that went a month ago wasn't so bad because he was kind of crazy and I wasn't really attached to him, but I still cried even though everyone was telling me to think about how nasty he used to be. On the other hand, I still think about and feel guilty about my one boy who I raised from a baby. I think the advice that I've gotten with the goats (if you want to be in the business, get used to it) applies to the vet world as well in some ways because the the good far outweighs the bad.

 

[EllieGirl89]

In my (perhaps overly liberal) opinion, this is one area where animal medicine is leaps and bounds ahead of human medicine.

👍

When my grandmother was dying, it took almost 48 hours for her to finally pass away. It was agony for my family to sit there and watch that heart monitor slow down, stop, and then all of a sudden jump back to life again, rinse, and repeat. Not to mention what my grandma must have been going through. All my mom kept saying was how much kinder we are to our animals than to our fellow humans.

I guess that's why euthanasia doesn't bother me so much. I know that it's quick and painless for the animal, and in just a few second they will be free of pain. Even though the loss of the life is sad, just getting to be there with the animal and pet it and talk to it and comfort it in its final moments is a blessing in and of itself.

 

[thedogisgreen]

👍

When my grandmother was dying, it took almost 48 hours for her to finally pass away. It was agony for my family to sit there and watch that heart monitor slow down, stop, and then all of a sudden jump back to life again, rinse, and repeat. Not to mention what my grandma must have been going through. All my mom kept saying was how much kinder we are to our animals than to our fellow humans.

I guess that's why euthanasia doesn't bother me so much. I know that it's quick and painless for the animal, and in just a few second they will be free of pain. Even though the loss of the life is sad, just getting to be there with the animal and pet it and talk to it and comfort it in its final moments is a blessing in and of itself.

I definitely agree, hopefully human medicine will catch up someday, if we can get past all the ethical issues. Euthanasia is hard, but I think it's better for both ends to avoid prolonging the suffering. We wouldn't let animals suffer for days and weeks on end, so why do we do it to humans? We can eventually accept that it's time for animals to go, but we can never let go of our relatives.

 

[squirrelsrule]

The two main reasons it has taken me so long to realize that I want to be a vet is because I didn't think I could handle surgery or euthanasia. Overall I am not an emotional person at all, but when it comes to animals its a completely different story. I cry everytime I have to euthanize one of my wild babies or I lose one. I often cry for the adults that are euthanized for injuries as well, but not always. For me, the ones that really get me are the babies that never really had a chance to experience life and run wild and free. When they have had their chance and something happens, I can come to terms with that, it's not easy but I handle it well. The same is true with my vet experiences. I haven't cried 👍, but it was hard listening to the vet tell one client that their 2 year old rottweiler had cancer and probably only had a month to live. The dog was wagging his tail and licking everyone in site and happy as can be. The owners of course started crying and talking about options (there really weren't any good ones) and it was really hard.

Another one that really got me was a little jack russell that was only 1 year old and had a blood disorder and needed to be euthanized. They had tried treatments but nothing was working and the dog had to be euthanized. I handle the older animal euthanasias much better although it is hard seeing how sad the owners are and hearing them talk about the good times they had with the animal makes me feel like crying, I think because it reminds me of when I had to euthanize my first dog.

I can now handle helping animals, even if it causes them extra pain for a short time to help them recover. I am not hardened to the pain they feel, but I know what they need to get better and the ultimate goal is not to make sure you don't inflict pain on them, it is to make sure they can recover and have a pain free happy life in the future.

I have always felt as far as rehabbing that if you no longer feel for the animals in your care and it doesn't hurt to lose them, then you need to quit rehabbing, the same would hold true for me for veterinary medicine.

 

[Cautionary Tail]

👍

When my grandmother was dying, it took almost 48 hours for her to finally pass away. It was agony for my family to sit there and watch that heart monitor slow down, stop, and then all of a sudden jump back to life again, rinse, and repeat. Not to mention what my grandma must have been going through. All my mom kept saying was how much kinder we are to our animals than to our fellow humans.

I guess that's why euthanasia doesn't bother me so much. I know that it's quick and painless for the animal, and in just a few second they will be free of pain. Even though the loss of the life is sad, just getting to be there with the animal and pet it and talk to it and comfort it in its final moments is a blessing in and of itself.

Completely agree.

When my grandmother went into hospice, her death was neither swift nor painless. I was in charge of handling her medications, and a part of me still feels like I was complicit in torture.

I actually find dealing with cases where an animal is clearly suffering (and medicine has nothing left to offer) and the owners refuse euthanasia to be far more difficult than assisting in a medically-indicated euthanasia.

 

[squirrelsrule]

I actually find dealing with cases where an animal is clearly suffering (and medicine has nothing left to offer) and the owners refuse euthanasia to be far more difficult than assisting in a medically-indicated euthanasia.

I totally agree. That is the hardest part about emergency medicine for me. Some people will let their animals go until they are literally dying (like within the next hour and some die before they can be euthanized) and then think they are doing a good dead by euthanizing the animal. Makes me sick and I don't see how they could live with the animal for the previous days or weeks when the animal was suffering. It is just sad.

 

[clairbear]

I totally agree. That is the hardest part about emergency medicine for me. Some people will let their animals go until they are literally dying (like within the next hour and some die before they can be euthanized) and then think they are doing a good dead by euthanizing the animal. Makes me sick and I don't see how they could live with the animal for the previous days or weeks when the animal was suffering. It is just sad.

Oh, my mom does because apparently euthanizing is "morally wrong," the one time I did get her to agree to have one euthanized (after two days where he was obviously going to die) he died before we could take him. Whenever I have animals that are solely mine that's definately not going to happen again because I honestly feel guilty about watching them go through that.

 

[heylodeb]

I think it's really important to continue having your sympathy and empathy with suffering animals. Don't ever lose that part of you!

The biggest thing for you to get over is the cringing while medicating them. Unfortunately, you're going to have blood draws in your future where youhave to stab the cat 5 times before you get blood (changing your needle each time, of course!! ;o)) and times when you will have a parvo dog dying in a run that you have to poke over and over and over again in order to save it's life. THAT is what you have to get over. How do I do it? I imagine the final product - the abx reaching the animals blood stream and being transported to all the areas that need it. I picture the bloodwork that we NEED in order to treat the patient correctly and yes, sometimes I have to picture the struggling heart finally getting to stop beating and giving peace to my patient.

On a side note - probably for the rant section but I actually only performed my first euthanasia about 2 weeks ago. I have been doing everything in my power to NOT perform one until absolutely necessary because I feel like that is something I don't need to rush into. However, this time, we needed to euthanize, the doctor was wrist deep closing the cancer ridden animal and I had to push it through. Although it was fascinating to watch vitals change on our EKG, I had to take a moment afterwards and pull myself back together. Ending a life should never be taken lightly and I hope that I will ALWAYS have a respect for the power I hold over my patients who are unable to choose for themselves.

Veterinarians have the best job ever - but it doesn't mean it's always easy.

 

[DVMDream]

After 5 years of being a tech and watching families have their pets euthanized I can tell you it never becomes "easy". It is ALWAYS hard; some cases harder than others. I have seen elderly men, elderly women, men in their middle age, teenage boys, women in middle age, teenage girls and young kids crying over the loss of their pet. It is never, ever easy, but I can say that I rarely cry. I am not an emotional person and it takes a lot for me to cry. I am not a "hard" person and the euthanasias are not "easy" for me; I just don't show emotion easily. There was a case this past weekend that really got to me and almost had me in tears; It was a family who had brought their 13 year old dog in that ended up having pyometra, the family decided to have the pet euthanized and all of the kids had written cards to the dog saying how much they loved her so that the cards could be cremeated with her. :cry: I also don't get too upset over having to cause pain setting a catheter or giving injections, etc. I know that those things hurt a little, but compared to the disease, illness or injury that pet is going through that little poke is the least of that pet's worries. We also have a rule that no one pokes an animal more than twice to obtain blood/set a catheter before they are required to let someone else try. Rarely, do we have to poke an animal more than three times to get blood or set a catheter.

On a side note - probably for the rant section but I actually only performed my first euthanasia about 2 weeks ago. I have been doing everything in my power to NOT perform one until absolutely necessary because I feel like that is something I don't need to rush into. However, this time, we needed to euthanize, the doctor was wrist deep closing the cancer ridden animal and I had to push it through. Although it was fascinating to watch vitals change on our EKG, I had to take a moment afterwards and pull myself back together. Ending a life should never be taken lightly and I hope that I will ALWAYS have a respect for the power I hold over my patients who are unable to choose for themselves.

Veterinarians have the best job ever - but it doesn't mean it's always easy.

We had to euthanize a dog on the table a little over a month ago too and also watched all of the monitors change. The scariest part was that the dog was without a heartbeat for around 3 minutes before the EKG really started showing that something was wrong. The machines were still reading CO2 levels, SPO2 levels, and was still showing electrical conductivity as well as a heartrate. The only thing that would have every tipped us off that something was wrong is that you could not hear the pet's heart on the doppler. Kind of scary to think that a pet could be dead for 3 minutes and all of those monitors not show any signs that there is something seriously wrong.

 

[thedogisgreen]

We had to euthanize a dog on the table a little over a month ago too and also watched all of the monitors change. The scariest part was that the dog was without a heartbeat for around 3 minutes before the EKG really started showing that something was wrong. The machines were still reading CO2 levels, SPO2 levels, and was still showing electrical conductivity as well as a heartrate. The only thing that would have every tipped us off that something was wrong is that you could not hear the pet's heart on the doppler. Kind of scary to think that a pet could be dead for 3 minutes and all of those monitors not show any signs that there is something seriously wrong.

A similar thing happened recently at my clinic too. It's scary how unreliable the machines can be, I never know when to trust them.

 

[nyanko]

The scariest part was that the dog was without a heartbeat for around 3 minutes before the EKG really started showing that something was wrong. The machines were still reading CO2 levels, SPO2 levels, and was still showing electrical conductivity as well as a heartrate. The only thing that would have every tipped us off that something was wrong is that you could not hear the pet's heart on the doppler. Kind of scary to think that a pet could be dead for 3 minutes and all of those monitors not show any signs that there is something seriously wrong.

Yep, the second vet I worked for, as part of a bit of ongoing training reinforcement, took a dog we had euthanized and hooked it up to the ECG, demonstrating that the electrical activity in the heart was still continuing and being read even though the dog was dead. The take-home message was "pay attention to the patient, not the machines."

 

[Angelo84]

This is why the most important monitor in my opinion is a trained person! Hopefully said person would notice lack of respiration and pulse. The CO2 should drop as well.

After 5 years of being a tech and watching families have their pets euthanized I can tell you it never becomes "easy". It is ALWAYS hard; some cases harder than others. I have seen elderly men, elderly women, men in their middle age, teenage boys, women in middle age, teenage girls and young kids crying over the loss of their pet. It is never, ever easy, but I can say that I rarely cry. I am not an emotional person and it takes a lot for me to cry. I am not a "hard" person and the euthanasias are not "easy" for me; I just don't show emotion easily. There was a case this past weekend that really got to me and almost had me in tears; It was a family who had brought their 13 year old dog in that ended up having pyometra, the family decided to have the pet euthanized and all of the kids had written cards to the dog saying how much they loved her so that the cards could be cremeated with her. :cry: I also don't get too upset over having to cause pain setting a catheter or giving injections, etc. I know that those things hurt a little, but compared to the disease, illness or injury that pet is going through that little poke is the least of that pet's worries. We also have a rule that no one pokes an animal more than twice to obtain blood/set a catheter before they are required to let someone else try. Rarely, do we have to poke an animal more than three times to get blood or set a catheter.







We had to euthanize a dog on the table a little over a month ago too and also watched all of the monitors change. The scariest part was that the dog was without a heartbeat for around 3 minutes before the EKG really started showing that something was wrong. The machines were still reading CO2 levels, SPO2 levels, and was still showing electrical conductivity as well as a heartrate. The only thing that would have every tipped us off that something was wrong is that you could not hear the pet's heart on the doppler. Kind of scary to think that a pet could be dead for 3 minutes and all of those monitors not show any signs that there is something seriously wrong.

 

[kitty613]

For me, it's really important to focus on the fact that whatever we're doing to the animal, whether that be a painful procedure or euthanasia, is ultimately helping them. You need to believe that the small pain you're causing now is worth it because it will make the animal feel much less pain overall.

So right, and such a wonderful way to think about it. So, I should look at the bigger picture and focus on how I am helping the animal (no matter how painful a procedure may be) because it will help them in the long run, right? Also, I should try not to let the 'here and now' affect me emotionally and cloud my thinking? I hope I'm not putting words in your mouth; I'm just trying to interpret your quote.
Well, if this is what you're saying, then it will be a struggle for me, at least for awhile. I am an overly emotional person , especially when it comes to animals, but I think it is because I am so passionate about them and their welfare. I don't want to be hardened to it all because it is not in my nature. I think I'll get there though, but with a lot of tears. I do need to learn how to create an emotional balance while working in this field. Any suggestions out there?

 

[Nechochwen]

One should not confuse hardness with strength.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to continue on despite fear.

In the same way, emotional strength does not mean you don't feel sadness, but continue on despite it.

As a veterinarian, you have to be able to be rational and capable in distressing situations, but still be able to empathize with your patient and the client.

Seeing the effects of your contributions to the animals and people you come into contact with should help.

Good luck

P.S. Sorry for the philosophical tangent, late night laundry does that to me.

 

[roughleggedhawk]

There's a lot of good advice on this thread!

So, I should look at the bigger picture and focus on how I am helping the animal (no matter how painful a procedure may be) because it will help them in the long run, right?

Yes. In your original post, it sounded like you were really focused on the procedures being painful or not what the animal wanted to happen. If you have trouble seeing a procedure as being ultimately good for an animal, I think it would be impossible to feel okay about doing it. So I would try to think about the good it's going to do and how much better the animal is going to feel. Visualizations like helyodeb describes might help you, and I really think bee83's idea of you following up on animals you've dealt with is great. I think you need to see the good results of things like giving meds when the animal doesn't want them so you can remember it for the next time you need to give medication to an unwilling animal.

Also, I should try not to let the 'here and now' affect me emotionally and cloud my thinking?

You need to be thinking rationally while you're treating an animal, so while that's happening, I would say yes. But there's nothing wrong with being emotional and having clouded thinking if you need to when there isn't an animal or something depending on you.

I think everyone deals with upsetting things differently, and you may have to try a bunch of strategies before you find what works for you. Being aware of what's going on in my head is the most important thing for me. If I can say to myself, "okay, my mind is racing around and I'm starting to get upset", then the part of my mind saying that is calm. Then I can do something to deal with the problem.

Sometimes I have a conversation with myself, and it's kind of like the upset part of me is the calm part of me's little sister. The calm part listens sympathetically to the upset part, then gently tells it what needs to happen next. This way, I can cry and scream and rant at someone who is sympathetic, supportive and reasonable, all in my head, and it happens much faster mentally than an actual conversation would. I only manage to do it right sometimes (the upset part tends to overwhelm the calm part), but when I do, it's amazingly effective. It takes practice, and I'm slowly getting better at it.

Another strategy is mentally putting negative feelings aside until you can safely deal with them. I like to imagine them as a crackling ball of red light which I put into a box and then put the box on a shelf. Then, if I notice myself starting to get upset again, I can remind myself not to open the box and leave it alone until I can deal with it.

I don't want to be hardened to it all because it is not in my nature. I think I'll get there though, but with a lot of tears.

This is good. Being passionate about animals and their welfare is a great thing, but naturally carries with it the fact that you will be very affected by anything bad happening to animals. I don't think it will ever be easy, but I think you'll find a way to deal with it, and that will allow you to do a lot of good for the animals you care for.

 

[jmcgintee]

One should not confuse hardness with strength.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to continue on despite fear.

In the same way, emotional strength does not mean you don't feel sadness, but continue on despite it.

As a veterinarian, you have to be able to be rational and capable in distressing situations, but still be able to empathize with your patient and the client.

Seeing the effects of your contributions to the animals and people you come into contact with should help.




Good luck

P.S. Sorry for the philosophical tangent, late night laundry does that to me.

I'm currently in my first year of Veterinary school. the Most important lesson I have learned is, always have compassion for the animal and the client/owner. I used to agree with trying to become "hard" and that being emotional made me weak. And I did harden, I also found myself judging some people's decisions. Above all, have compassion! I just recently lost my 16mo old mastiff who had been having chronic health problems. I had to suddenly take her to the ER one night and found out her bowel had perforated and she was septic. I pretty much had about 10 minutes to decide on emergency surgery with horrible odds or euthanasia. I chose euthanasia. I owed it to her to take away the pain. I had compassion for her. The veterinarian, who I had never seen before, had tears in her eyes when she gave me the initial news and during Delilah's last few moments. You have no idea how much better it made me feel to have someone that cared enough about her patient to show her emotions. I am no longer hardened to it ( i do need to work on getting a little stronger) but I think it's so important to care. I think emotions are an important thing to hold on to in this profession. It will make you a better veterinarian

 

[cwazy cat lady]

You will get tougher by doing. I am a perfect example of it. I still cry sometimes in my work--mostly it happens when I have an old cat that I know could possibly make it if we could get it into a foster home or adoptive home but even though we are managing well, being in the shelter ultimately leads to deterioration on the animal's part.

When I started I was very wary of administering vaccines and implanting microchips (still dislike those a bit, but it's not that bad). Now the sharps really aren't a biggie for me...

Euthanasia can be a really good experience. I actually like to be involved in them because I care about the animals' experience. I believe in minimal restraint, quiet rooms, lots of other positives happening (when possible), etc..

I do sometimes worry that I am too desensitized to some aspects of shelter life... I try to keep myself aware as best I can. Length of stay and working to reduce that is the big one for me.

 

[camcam]

I have always wanted to be a vet, but for the longest time the thing that always held me back from pursuing my dream was the fear of seeing (and euthanizing) sick animals. However, recently I let go of my fears and realized that I didn't want this to hold me back from helping animals in need. Easier said than done...

Case in point: Yesterday, I started volunteering at a shelter and administering medication (under a veterinarian) to sick cats who are abandoned, abused and/or neglected. Two particular cats tore at my heartstrings like you wouldn't believe. Just seeing animals so sick, and then having to give them IV's and hearing them in pain from the needle, just makes me cringe. Or giving them medicine when all they want to do is put their head down, makes me sad. I know I am new to this, and I want to toughen up emotionally, but yesterday was just so hard. My heart was very heavy.

I talked to other volunteers and they said that you do get 'hardened' to the sadness; however, I want to hear from you all. Were you emotional when first dealing with sad senarios like this? How do you deal with it? When does it get better? If at all?

I could say you develop it over time, but that is me speaking from a horrible childhood, and horrible teenage years. When my Tonic was ill from kidney blockage it was the most horrible experience of my life. I wasn't working at the time and I had no way of bringing him to a vet and my family was extremely unsupportive. they couldn't understand why vet bills cost so much and also why I loved my cats so much.

I foster cats all the time, rescue feral kittens, high-kill shelter rescues, and kittens that need a place to recovery until they are well from various surgeries. From doing that and recovering from the lost of my Tonic each kitten or cat that comes to me teaches me somethign different about myself (level of patients and compassion) and they teach me about themselves, their movtivation, and annnoying ways they have to repeat things until it becomes their passion.

I only seen videos of euthanasia, I didn't get to experience that when my Tonic died, I stayed with him all night til he passed away on my living room floor. There will be days when remebering him will bring back some feelings of failure and doubt but when I look back of the whole expereince of him being with him it has been precious.

I do believe you might become desenstized from euthanasia to some of the animals and future patients that come in your way, but sometimes that is the only best option for them, and we are suppose to try and make the right choices for them.

 

[spicykimchi]

I'd like to think I am somewhat strong. I can watch euthanasia and remain very calm throughout the process (albeit I cry a little). It's not until later, when it sinks in, that I feel like I need a good cry. So I let myself. It helps a lot.

It also helps to remind myself that this animal no longer feels any pain, that we did our best, and that we might all go somewhere when we die (animals and people). Hey, it might not be true, but if you die thinking there is an afterlife, it's almost the same as having one. You'll never know the difference.

So, that's how I get through.

 

[168135]

Am I the only one who hasn't been bothered by euthanasia (except when my family cat died)

I feel like such an oddball.

The first euth I ever saw involved a 6 year old cat with personality issues. The cat had sent the owner to the ER several times. Even tried kitty behavior-altering meds. Nothing worked. So when the cat stopped eating, they decided instead of diagnosing it to put it to sleep. I did not feel sad at all.

I also assisted with an euth on a severly anemic 10 year old Newfoundland dog. The dog was sooo ill that she couldn't movie and the blood was pale when the cath was placed. I didn't feel sad... just relieved that her suffering had ended.

I've seen several more... and nothing... a little sadness, but not to the point where it's affecting my job or causing me to cry or become upset later on.

Am I weird?

 

[LetItSnow]

I've seen several more... and nothing... a little sadness, but not to the point where it's affecting my job or causing me to cry or become upset later on.

Am I weird?

I hope not, because that's more how I feel. I've been around a handful of equine and small animal euths, and I don't find it particularly difficult to deal with. That's not to say I don't share the owners' sadness or feel anything; I just don't find it to require much emotional energy to handle.

When my own animals go, though, I'll be a blubbering mess.

Hopefully we're not both weird. 🙂

 

[twelvetigers]

Maybe you just haven't seen enough, or you haven't been in a clinic long enough to get attached o the animals that are coming in... you know? Also, the "okay, it's time" euths are one thing, but the "I can't afford this" euths are another thing entirely... as are the "this wouldn't be happening if you had brought the animal in a week ago, but now we have no choice" euths. You would definitely feel something, given enough time. Which, as everyone has said, is definitely a good thing.

ETA: Feeling something =/= blubbering mess. I think it's important to not get too emotional unless it's a special case... no open sobbing from anyone but the owner, heh. You can cry later if you need to! Otherwise it just seems extra awkward, usually.

 

[LetItSnow]

Maybe you just haven't seen enough, or you haven't been in a clinic long enough to get attached o the animals that are coming in... you know? Also, the "okay, it's time" euths are one thing, but the "I can't afford this" euths are another thing entirely... as are the "this wouldn't be happening if you had brought the animal in a week ago, but now we have no choice" euths. You would definitely feel something, given enough time. Which, as everyone has said, is definitely a good thing.

ETA: Feeling something =/= blubbering mess. I think it's important to not get too emotional unless it's a special case... no open sobbing from anyone but the owner, heh. You can cry later if you need to! Otherwise it just seems extra awkward, usually.

Well, I've been around euths that *I* certainly felt were unnecessary, so I don't think that's it.

I don't believe I suggested that 'feeling something' equaled 'blubbering mess'. I merely indicated that my ability to handle my own animals' departure is vastly different than my ability to deal with a client animal. Clearly it would be counterproductive for a vet to fall apart in front of a client every time they had to do a euth.

 

[twelvetigers]

Naw, naw. Just clarifying on what I meant by 'feeling something.'

Everyone is a bit different, and that's fine. I'm fairly stoic, but I had a couple that got to me a bit. (I LOVED that cat. Loved him.)

Also, my response was aimed at scarcely, since I've met her an' stuff - yours just slipped in before I could type my reply. So it wasn't really aimed at you, except the clarification, which was still just to be more clear about what I was implying about an emotional response.

 

[kitty613]

The first euth I ever saw involved a 6 year old cat with personality issues. The cat had sent the owner to the ER several times. Even tried kitty behavior-altering meds. Nothing worked. So when the cat stopped eating, they decided instead of diagnosing it to put it to sleep. I did not feel sad at all.

Wow. I guess everyone's so different. I don't want to seem judgemental (to each their own!) but I am amazed how some people can emotionally detach themselves from situations like these. Did you feel sad later, after the cat was euthanized (just not during the procedure)? Please don't take offense to this, but how do you balance your rational thinking with being compassionate? Isn't feeling one's emotions part of what makes a person compassionate? I'm not implying you're not compassionate, but I'm just curious... I'm not even sure how to answer this question myself.

 

[libster06]

This job requires detachment, at certain times. It's not detachment in that you don't feel anything, it's detachment in the sense that you have to be professional at all times and keep on going whenever the owners are losing control. They're relying on you for level-headedness and compassion when they need it most. I think its just like with any job that requires you to be brave in the midst of others falling apart. Just as police officers learn to not lose their heads when they see some of the awful things they see. By no means is anyone involved in veterinary medicine accustomed to euthanasias, or neglect/abuse... you don't get accustomed to it. You still feel sad when the animal that has had a long hard fight with cancer has to be put down. Or when someone brings in an animal that has to be euthanized because it's owners didn't bother to bring it in for 4 days and it now needs a urethral corrective surgery they can't afford it... but you DO learn to handle yourself accordingly. There are people and pets that come in regularly that you do get attached to, and its devastating to see them go, or be diagnosed with an aggressive illness, but you cope and move on because that's your job.

Just because tears aren't shed, doesn't mean compassion and empathy is not felt. It becomes a necessity of the job to handle yourself in a professional manner in a situation like that.

 

[spicykimchi]

I've had to assist with euthanasia before and the process goes along so much easier if I remain stoic: it's not that I don't care, I just have those emotions shelved until I have a more appropriate time to express them. This is usually later in the day. I cry however much I need to. It helps me feel so much better.

 

[libster06]

After 5 years of being a tech and watching families have their pets euthanized I can tell you it never becomes "easy". It is ALWAYS hard; some cases harder than others. I have seen elderly men, elderly women, men in their middle age, teenage boys, women in middle age, teenage girls and young kids crying over the loss of their pet. It is never, ever easy, but I can say that I rarely cry. I am not an emotional person and it takes a lot for me to cry. I am not a "hard" person and the euthanasias are not "easy" for me; I just don't show emotion easily. There was a case this past weekend that really got to me and almost had me in tears; It was a family who had brought their 13 year old dog in that ended up having pyometra, the family decided to have the pet euthanized and all of the kids had written cards to the dog saying how much they loved her so that the cards could be cremeated with her. :cry: I also don't get too upset over having to cause pain setting a catheter or giving injections, etc. I know that those things hurt a little, but compared to the disease, illness or injury that pet is going through that little poke is the least of that pet's worries. We also have a rule that no one pokes an animal more than twice to obtain blood/set a catheter before they are required to let someone else try. Rarely, do we have to poke an animal more than three times to get blood or set a catheter.

That's my thoughts exactly. I am not a cryer, generally speaking. I also have trouble working with people who can't seem to stop crying at every needle poke and euthanasia that happens. But I do get worked up (upset, angry, distraught) when I see abused animals come in for whatever reason. I get very sad when I see old couples having to put their animals to sleep... but I don't cry, because I have never been so emotionally attached to a family or animal, other than my own... but I haven't lost any of mine. However, when the day comes (and its not far off, as I have a 14 year old blind Boston Terrier with seizures and recurrent skin cancer) that I have to make a decision about euthanasia, I will be bawling like a baby. Sometimes I tear up at the thought of it. And maybe when I have decided to do my job as a pet owner and end any suffering, then, after I have experienced what all the others before me were experiencing, I might be a little more apt to shed a tear when the moment strikes.

 

[roughleggedhawk]

I think it depends on how you see things. Euthanasia itself doesn't usually make me sad. When it's necessary, it's a good thing because it takes away the animal's suffering. I always regret that there wasn't more we could do, but it doesn't upset me to see animals released from their pain. (Convenience euthanasias are a whole other story.)

Maybe my ease with it comes from how I view death. When an animal dies, it ends. It's not suffering or regretting or experiencing anything bad. The worst thing that's happened to it is that it doesn't get to have any more time, which is a shame, but not something it's aware of and so doesn't cause it any suffering. What does affect me is the loss to the people connected with it and the effect the death has on them.

For example, while shadowing at a SA clinic, I saw a doberman in kidney failure whose owners clearly loved her to pieces, but she was suffering and not going to improve, so they brought her in to be put down. They cried and cried through the whole thing. I felt so bad for them and came close to crying myself. But I wasn't sad for the dog, since it was clearly the best thing for her.

Of course, having to euthanize an animal I'm attached to does make me very sad. This has happened to me twice, once with my cat and once with a peregrine falcon at the wildlife rehab centre that we spent a year trying to fix.

kitty 613, do you find that you get attached to the animals you're working with pretty easily? That might be a big part of why this is so difficult for you.

 

[SABaker]

Thanks everyone for their responses. I am a brand new Pre-Veterinary student and this is honestly what I feel will be the hardest thing for me to deal with.

Im generally not a very emotional person but when it comes to animals my hearts breaks easily. Just earlier, I was on a dog rescue site and was looking at the prospective pets to adopt. I clicked on a video of a Labrador retriever and it showed him playing when all of a sudden it happened...Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood came on and I began to just cry lol.

I look forward to this extremely rewarding career and life, and want to thank everyone again for their responses as they were very helpful to read and think about when how to deal with these situations.

 

[168135]

Wow. I guess everyone's so different. I don't want to seem judgemental (to each their own!) but I am amazed how some people can emotionally detach themselves from situations like these. Did you feel sad later, after the cat was euthanized (just not during the procedure)? Please don't take offense to this, but how do you balance your rational thinking with being compassionate? Isn't feeling one's emotions part of what makes a person compassionate? I'm not implying you're not compassionate, but I'm just curious... I'm not even sure how to answer this question myself.

It was a long time ago and I wasn't directly involved so I don't remember how I felt with that particular situation. They did it in another room I guess. I just saw them cautiously bring back a bundle of towels and toss it in a kennel. I asked what was going on and they told me. Then I went back to work.

I'll cry over animal abuse videos. Anyone ever see The Cove? Omg. As soon as the credits came on, I started blubbering like a baby.

I'm a vegetarian. I became vegetarian after accidentally watching a slaughterhouse video the night before thanksgiving. It really bothered me when I saw locals in Central America hitting cattle with sticks and rope to get them to move.

I haven't been around a client while a euth is taking place. I'll probably feel a lot different. I went into a state of shock when my friend's dog was euthed. I was with her when the prognosis was announced but stood outside while it was happening. I knew it was the best thing for her dog, but it hurt me to see her so upset.

I used to volunteer at a shelter. There were times when animals were there one week and gone the next. Come to find out that they were put to sleep because they were unadoptable or sick. When I found out that they unadoptable ones were put to sleep, all I really thought was that it beats spending the rest of their lives in a shelter (quite a few cats were there for over a year and a dog was put to sleep because she was abused and went after a child). The other animals I've seen were sick and the owners weren't around.

I'll probably feel a lot different when a client is there... but so far... I donno... I just automatically tend to think of the good things instead of the bad and it makes it easier.

 

[NStarz]

I used to volunteer at a shelter. There were times when animals were there one week and gone the next. Come to find out that they were put to sleep because they were unadoptable or sick. When I found out that they unadoptable ones were put to sleep, all I really thought was that it beats spending the rest of their lives in a shelter (quite a few cats were there for over a year and a dog was put to sleep because she was abused and went after a child). The other animals I've seen were sick and the owners weren't around.

Just wanted to comment on this. My shelter is open admission, almost no kill (>90% for dogs, slightly under the 90% threshold for cats because of ferals that we're instituting a TNR policy for). We have dogs and cats that spend over a year at the shelter waiting for the right home. Is it sad and unfortunate? Yes. But if the animal isn't deteriorating and has a relatively good quality of life, we allow them to stay until they find their forever home. Just because someone doesn't like the color of their coat doesn't mean that they are unadoptable and/or deserve to be euthanized (as is the case with most of our cats...we have kittens that sadly grow up at the shelter).

 

[168135]

Just wanted to comment on this. My shelter is open admission, almost no kill (>90% for dogs, slightly under the 90% threshold for cats because of ferals that we're instituting a TNR policy for). We have dogs and cats that spend over a year at the shelter waiting for the right home. Is it sad and unfortunate? Yes. But if the animal isn't deteriorating and has a relatively good quality of life, we allow them to stay until they find their forever home. Just because someone doesn't like the color of their coat doesn't mean that they are unadoptable and/or deserve to be euthanized (as is the case with most of our cats...we have kittens that sadly grow up at the shelter).

The cats that were put to sleep were incredibly skittish and scared of people. They ran and hid whenever someone entered the room. Even the shelter staff had trouble getting near them. So, is it really better for them to stay in an environment where they are constantly stressed?

There were at least 4 of them... and I think all of them were strays. Half-wild by the sounds of it. One of them was GEORGOUS, but you never SAW her. She always hid in one of the cat houses.

I'm also thinking back to that thread where we discussed this issue. Shelters are high stress environments so is it really fair to keep them there?

 

[NStarz]

The cats that were put to sleep were incredibly skittish and scared of people. They ran and hid whenever someone entered the room. Even the shelter staff had trouble getting near them. So, is it really better for them to stay in an environment where they are constantly stressed?

There were at least 4 of them... and I think all of them were strays. Half-wild by the sounds of it. One of them was GEORGOUS, but you never SAW her. She always hid in one of the cat houses.

I'm also thinking back to that thread where we discussed this issue. Shelters are high stress environments so is it really fair to keep them there?

More information was obviously needed in this situation. No, those cats are obviously under stress; they are skittish and afraid to be touched by people. There is also a care issue involved. By your post, it seemed as though they were put down just because they had been there a year (if you read your post again, it came off that way). Obviously a shelter is not an ideal situation, and my shelter is better than most (cats don't live in cages, but in small rooms with ~8 other cats and lots of places to climb and hide), but can you really justify euthanizing an animal because you're trying to save it short-term stress? I would rather see that animal be under mild stress for a few weeks then be placed into a loving home than be euthanized. This is not the same for all animals, and some cannot deal with the shelter environment, but that is a different story from what I was referring to. Animals should not be euthanized (IMHO) because they are in the shelter longer than the cute little puppy with no behavioral issues and a fluffy coat. If the dog/cat is not suffering/deteriorating, there is, IMO, no reason to euthanize.

 

[thedogisgreen]

More information was obviously needed in this situation. No, those cats are obviously under stress; they are skittish and afraid to be touched by people. There is also a care issue involved. By your post, it seemed as though they were put down just because they had been there a year (if you read your post again, it came off that way). Obviously a shelter is not an ideal situation, and my shelter is better than most (cats don't live in cages, but in small rooms with ~8 other cats and lots of places to climb and hide), but can you really justify euthanizing an animal because you're trying to save it short-term stress? I would rather see that animal be under mild stress for a few weeks then be placed into a loving home than be euthanized. This is not the same for all animals, and some cannot deal with the shelter environment, but that is a different story from what I was referring to. Animals should not be euthanized (IMHO) because they are in the shelter longer than the cute little puppy with no behavioral issues and a fluffy coat. If the dog/cat is not suffering/deteriorating, there is, IMO, no reason to euthanize.

I definitely agree, especially when there are the resources in the shelter and the community to maintain the care and comfort of the animals and work on socializing them. I wish all shelters were able to do that, and I was lucky to volunteer at a no-kill, but unfortunately, there are way too many shelters, esp in the middle of nowhere, where they receive completely inadequate care and live in awful conditions. I want to eventually work in those shelters and improve their conditions and policies, there is so much work that needs to be done with shelters. A lot of the more well off shelters take animals from the high-kill shelters and this definitely helps, but there sadly reaches a point where some of the more fearful or aggressive animals aren't taken elsewhere and will either suffer at crappy shelters or be PTS. I'm really hesitant to support such euths and conflicted on this whole topic, I think a tonnnn of work needs to be done to better the conditions and incr fostering and adoptions, but in the meantime, in certain shelters the suffering might not be worth it for some. 🙁 Thoughts?
P.S. sorry OP for straying from the topic!