Intimidated People

Started by SoyMilk
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SoyMilk

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When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
 
Yea it's really weird to see how intimidated people are by med students/doctors. Then again, most of the population barely got out of HS. Also nurses, pharmacist, dentist, all like to pretend their degree is as rigorous as getting an MD but they know better.
 
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SoyMilk said:
When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
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Pretend you are a medical assistant?

No need to be something you're not.
 
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You sound a bit condescending towards MAs and HR employees. Maybe screen the person by asking them the same question in return. If they fall in a category of someone that you have had a regular bad encounter with, then don't tell them what you do or lie.
 
SoyMilk said:
When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
Click to expand...
Maybe they mean getting a job in medicine is easier than one as a ph.d in 14th century female ukranian beat poetry
 
SoyMilk said:
When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
Click to expand...

I stopped telling people what I do bc I either 1)get ranted at about how dentists all overcharge their patients or 2) get the "oh that's so cute! you're a dental assistant/hygienist/receptionist right??? is your boss nice to you??" line

Now I say "oh you know, healthcare stuff, which is soooooooo much more boring than job XYZ that you have! I wish I had your job!!!!!"
 
SoyMilk said:
When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
Click to expand...

wtf? why are you meeting, hanging out with, talking to outside people? are you even a real medical student?
 
I like saying I'm a shrink. And then just giving them a ridiculous silent stare. As if I'm Xraying their thoughts.

Actually who am I kidding. The pizza guy and the burrito guy never ask me. And I don't have any friends, except for your avatars, and people at work. Where I have a name tag. Ah. Being in your 40's and a resident is like the vast dark matter of the social universe. You know it's there. But only with abstraction and mathematics.
 
I generally avoid talking about what I do largely because of all the follow up questions- what field, how long will it take, why that field, etc. I hate talking about myself, so it just leads to about 5 minutes of conversation that make me quite uncomfortable. Once I'm done with this whole mess, I'm hoping to get a second job doing bartending or something, and I'll just tell people that's what I do for a living.
 
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I just say I'm a medical student. I never get any weird responses, people usually just say "cool" or something.

But if people are trying to put you down, ignore it. So what? Either what they're saying is not true, or it may be true, but it shouldn't have an effect on you.
 
fancymylotus said:
2) get the "oh that's so cute! you're a dental assistant/hygienist/receptionist right??? is your boss nice to you??" line
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cbrons said:
So what do you do for a living?

I'm a medical student.

Oh cool. What do you wanna do with that?
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h9ZM8xIUz2Awg.gif
 
RJGOP said:
I just say I'm a medical student. I never get any weird responses, people usually just say "cool" or something.

But if people are trying to put you down, ignore it. So what? Either what they're saying is not true, or it may be true, but it shouldn't have an effect on you.
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I have a best friend who has a friend whose husband has insecurity issues and likes to make jokes about how little I work and how much I make EVERYTIME I see them. In public. With no regard for where we may be or who may be in earshot. It doesn't upset me, but it is embarrassing as ****.

ie- I donated money to a charity they were fundraising for, the website where you donate has an option to make your name "anonymous" so no one knows who donated what, and he assumed I was the highest donor(I was) but with no confirmation of that, at a fundraising event no less, loudly told anyone who would listen that "it must be nice to do nothing and make so much money like her!"

that's the kind of stuff that bugs me. and another reason I don't tell anyone what I do anymore
 
If I see them in clinic and they see me standing in my little white coat, they ask and I tell them that I'm gonna be a doctor. They ask what and I say anesthesiologist, I want to take care of kids that are going into surgery. They say oh okay that's very nice and that's that. Sometimes they tell me about their niece that's going to be an NP and I say oh that's great, congratulations.

In real life, I tell people I'm a grad student because I don't want the hate or the envy. "Oh doctors ain't **** because of obamacare also I got ripped off by a bunch of bad, greedy doctors who just wanted to steal my money with tests that I didn't need and came back normal anyway. btw I'm on medicaid, didn't pay a thing and I'm living off the government"

Also I don't want to take the chance on someone telling me about their weirdo health problem and showing me something I can't unsee
 
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tiedyeddog said:
I've never once had someone try to tell me that something else was harder. Most of the time people say good for you or that's great. Sounds like you just met a weirdo, shake it off OP.
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Really? You're lucky then. A lot of the people I meet assume I'm going to be some sort of assistant, or they try to one-up me.

Another common thing for me is people think I go to the MD school an hour away, even though the DO school I go to is local, has been around several years longer, and is 4x the size.
 
I've never run into this. What I usually get is "My niece is a premed" or "My son is in grad school, too" just as part of relating the topic to their life.

It definitely matters how you say it. Don't smile slyly at people and say 'I'm in medical school.' You might be getting those reactions because you're unaware that the way you're telling people about it sounds pretentious. If you say it like it is (just identifying your career), I think people will take it how you meant it. That's my experience, anyway.
 
fancymylotus said:
I have a best friend who has a friend whose husband has insecurity issues and likes to make jokes about how little I work and how much I make EVERYTIME I see them. In public. With no regard for where we may be or who may be in earshot. It doesn't upset me, but it is embarrassing as ****.

ie- I donated money to a charity they were fundraising for, the website where you donate has an option to make your name "anonymous" so no one knows who donated what, and he assumed I was the highest donor(I was) but with no confirmation of that, at a fundraising event no less, loudly told anyone who would listen that "it must be nice to do nothing and make so much money like her!"

that's the kind of stuff that bugs me. and another reason I don't tell anyone what I do anymore
Click to expand...
I have a feeling that you're not the only one who notices, and he should be the one who feels embarrassed, not you. And to make fun of you for your donation to a charity? What a d*ck!
 
fancymylotus said:
I have a best friend who has a friend whose husband has insecurity issues and likes to make jokes about how little I work and how much I make EVERYTIME I see them. In public. With no regard for where we may be or who may be in earshot. It doesn't upset me, but it is embarrassing as ****.

ie- I donated money to a charity they were fundraising for, the website where you donate has an option to make your name "anonymous" so no one knows who donated what, and he assumed I was the highest donor(I was) but with no confirmation of that, at a fundraising event no less, loudly told anyone who would listen that "it must be nice to do nothing and make so much money like her!"

that's the kind of stuff that bugs me. and another reason I don't tell anyone what I do anymore
Click to expand...
In the end I think the joke is on him. He's probably both jealous of you, and insecure. In my opinion, if it makes him feel better to piss on people who (I'm assuming) are more succesfull than him, so be it. It just shows he's a miserable person. But I understand why you are hesitant to talk about your profession.
 
I don't like talking about being a med student because it inevitably leads to people either talking about their health problems, or they try to one-up me with their accomplishments. The worst was a PA who went nice guy to douche in two seconds and proceeded to tell me how US med students are "coddled" and therefore inferior compared to their Carib counterparts where, BTW, his daughter is currently attending med school. Now I just say I'm in school and force people to tease it out of me if they want to. Fortunately, they usually don't.
 
fancymylotus said:
I have a best friend who has a friend whose husband has insecurity issues and likes to make jokes about how little I work and how much I make EVERYTIME I see them. In public. With no regard for where we may be or who may be in earshot. It doesn't upset me, but it is embarrassing as ****.

ie- I donated money to a charity they were fundraising for, the website where you donate has an option to make your name "anonymous" so no one knows who donated what, and he assumed I was the highest donor(I was) but with no confirmation of that, at a fundraising event no less, loudly told anyone who would listen that "it must be nice to do nothing and make so much money like her!"

that's the kind of stuff that bugs me. and another reason I don't tell anyone what I do anymore
Click to expand...

just tell him that if he doesn't shut up, then you're going to buy and sell him.
 
SoyMilk said:
When you meet new people they often ask, "so what do you do?" I've stopped telling people I meet that I study medicine. Most people are cool but every now and then you get someone who then proceeds to try and one up you by telling you all the things they've accomplished or how medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD in some art/social science field. It's kinda ridiculous.

Next time someone I've met asks me so what do you do... I'm going to say I'm medical assistant or that I work in HR.

Ugh now I don't even want to go out with these people anymore.

/rant
Click to expand...

This assumes that they have accomplished less than you and that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social science field.

Given that unless you are a non-trad, they have likely accomplished more and it is impossible to prove that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social sciences (personally, I think that the PhD is harder by quite a bit, it is next to impossible to fail out of medical school, see this thread) But, I concede that it is debatable. I think that it is more likely that they are people exactly like YOU who like to compare their work/life to others and feel like what they are doing is more difficult than everyone around them (exactly like you). Just because people don't grovel and look up at you with amazement for your getting into medical school doesn't mean that they "aren't cool".
 
Haha, I wonder if it's easier to say you are in medical school to become a medical examiner, then they can't rant anything about healthcare to you because they will only see you after they are dead!

Like everyone has pointed out, these that have issues with your identity as a medical student are usually unsatisfied with their own life/work. They are unhappy people trying to take out their miseries and frustrations on others. Recognize that you will see a lot of them in your career, practice getting accustomed to them, check your own emotions and reactions, and move on.
 
mimelim said:
This assumes that they have accomplished less than you and that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social science field.

Given that unless you are a non-trad, they have likely accomplished more and it is impossible to prove that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social sciences (personally, I think that the PhD is harder by quite a bit, it is next to impossible to fail out of medical school, see this thread) But, I concede that it is debatable. I think that it is more likely that they are people exactly like YOU who like to compare their work/life to others and feel like what they are doing is more difficult than everyone around them (exactly like you). Just because people don't grovel and look up at you with amazement for your getting into medical school doesn't mean that they "aren't cool".
Click to expand...

It's next to impossible to fail out, that's your criteria for difficulty? It's next to impossible to get in whereas for a PhD, you just need say that you'll work for them for a few years and you're in
 
Psai said:
It's next to impossible to fail out, that's your criteria for difficulty? It's next to impossible to get in whereas for a PhD, you just need say that you'll work for them for a few years and you're in
Click to expand...

Difficulty for ME is how hard is it to complete. As I pointed out, it is impossible to prove one way or the other. It is my personal opinion based on finishing medical school that I would have been less likely to finish a PhD, ergo, more difficult. That isn't the point.

The point is that the OP and I'd wager you as well, consider going to medical school to be more difficult than anything anyone else could have possibly done, so therefore they should be in awe rather than having the audacity to consider it less than them. I am simply pointing out the ridiculousness of whining about people thinking that what they do is better than medicine when the OP holds the opinion in reverse.
 
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Medical school is a much more defined path. That does not mean that a Ph.D. is more difficult to complete. I have worked in two labs and know people who have graduated with few or no publications. Medical school has a rigorous selection process that all but ensures that their students will complete their course of study. Your point about the difficulty compared to others is a position that you created yourself. You're making assumptions about the op and me as an ad hominem. You're trying to make us look as though we're wanting to compare ourselves to others when the opposite is what the op intended to convey. There is no intention to awe others, as I don't give a **** about impressing people. There is merely the dissatisfaction with which others mishandle a situation that they created by asking you what you did and then attempting to put you down. It's not about us thinking that what we do is better than what they do. It's about people who were looking for an opportunity to promote themselves and then projecting their insecurities onto you

And using the word whining in an attempt to paint us as immature children is a pretty lame move and it would be nice to display a modicum of respect for one another
 
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mimelim said:
This assumes that they have accomplished less than you and that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social science field.

Given that unless you are a non-trad, they have likely accomplished more and it is impossible to prove that medical school is harder than getting a PhD in art/social sciences (personally, I think that the PhD is harder by quite a bit, it is next to impossible to fail out of medical school, see this thread) But, I concede that it is debatable. I think that it is more likely that they are people exactly like YOU who like to compare their work/life to others and feel like what they are doing is more difficult than everyone around them (exactly like you). Just because people don't grovel and look up at you with amazement for your getting into medical school doesn't mean that they "aren't cool".
Click to expand...

Nope

This is part of the conversation:

Me: Did you move here for work?
German Girl: Yes I'm an aupair. You?
Me: No I'm in school
German Girl: What do you study
Me: I'm a grad student
German girl: What do you study
Me: I'm in medical school
German girl: You know i've heard that medicine is so much easier than getting a PhD. My friend is studying literature at local CSU.
Me: Cool
German girl: How long is medicine program?
Me: Everything considered, probably about the same as a PhD program.
German girl2: But seriously. Don't you think it's easier. Like you don't even have to write a thesis right? PhDs put way more hours into their program than MDs.

------

It doesn't matter whether a PHD, MD, JD, medical assistant certificate, or being an astronaut is harder. This conversation would have been rude regardless of the field being bashed. By doing this, you're basically implying another person's accomplishments are not worthwhile or something to be proud of.
 
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Psai said:
It's next to impossible to fail out, that's your criteria for difficulty? It's next to impossible to get in whereas for a PhD, you just need say that you'll work for them for a few years and you're in
Click to expand...

I don't know about art/social PhD programs, but in science, this is not true.

Medical school and graduate school are both difficult, the former in its grueling hours and breadth of knowledge required, and the latter in the depth of knowledge one needs to attain and the extreme uncertainty in...well, everything. Working hard with a positive attitude usually gets you through medical school, but surviving graduate school truly requires some dumb luck and hopeless optimism. Experiments can fail even when you do everything right, and you can spend months or even years testing a hypothesis that turns out to be incorrect. If you work with animals, disaster can strike your colony which takes months to rebuild. Your work can be 80% finished but one day another lab scooped you and published first, you are back to 0%. So, I personally find graduate school more anxiogenic, but that's just me. I've seen people struggle and drop out of medical/graduate school, and I've seen plenty of others perfectly happy and sail through either (or both!) with elegance and ease. No blanket statement can be made comparing these two training programs, they are like apples and oranges. That's just my $0.02.
 
Ariodant said:
I don't know about art/social PhD programs, but in science, this is not true.

Medical school and graduate school are both difficult, the former in its grueling hours and breadth of knowledge required, and the latter in the depth of knowledge one needs to attain and the extreme uncertainty in...well, everything. Working hard with a positive attitude usually gets you through medical school, but surviving graduate school truly requires some dumb luck and hopeless optimism. Experiments can fail even when you do everything right, and you can spend months or even years testing a hypothesis that turns out to be incorrect. If you work with animals, disaster can strike your colony which takes months to rebuild. Your work can be 80% finished but one day another lab scooped you and published first, you are back to 0%. So, I personally find graduate school more anxiogenic, but that's just me. I've seen people struggle and drop out of medical/graduate school, and I've seen plenty of others perfectly happy and sail through either (or both!) with elegance and ease. No blanket statement can be made comparing these two training programs, they are like apples and oranges. That's just my $0.02.
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Can't argue with anything here
 
EMDO2018 said:
Yea it's really weird to see how intimidated people are by med students/doctors. Then again, most of the population barely got out of HS. Also nurses, pharmacist, dentist, all like to pretend their degree is as rigorous as getting an MD but they know better.
Click to expand...
no i dont
 
EMDO2018 said:
Yea it's really weird to see how intimidated people are by med students/doctors. Then again, most of the population barely got out of HS. Also nurses, pharmacist, dentist, all like to pretend their degree is as rigorous as getting an MD but they know better.
Click to expand...


Oh really? Here we go again. Let's not make stupid generalizations, kay?
 
fancymylotus said:
I have a best friend who has a friend whose husband has insecurity issues and likes to make jokes about how little I work and how much I make EVERYTIME I see them. In public. With no regard for where we may be or who may be in earshot. It doesn't upset me, but it is embarrassing as ****.

ie- I donated money to a charity they were fundraising for, the website where you donate has an option to make your name "anonymous" so no one knows who donated what, and he assumed I was the highest donor(I was) but with no confirmation of that, at a fundraising event no less, loudly told anyone who would listen that "it must be nice to do nothing and make so much money like her!"

that's the kind of stuff that bugs me. and another reason I don't tell anyone what I do anymore
Click to expand...
That's messed up. I think I know the two you're talking about from previous conversations, those two need to grow the **** up.
 
While these "my degree/career/etc" is better/more difficult/etc" types of threads/comments are annoying, I'll remind our non-allopathic medicine colleagues that such comments here are not a TOS violation. If someone were to go into the Dental forums and state such, yes...THATs a TOS violation. So you can please stop reporting these posts because you think they're mean.

However, users are reminded that regardless of lack of TOS violation, there are expectations that we are respectful to each other and behave in a professional manner. Continuing this thread in such a manner will result in its closure.
 
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Nasrudin said:
I like saying I'm a shrink. And then just giving them a ridiculous silent stare. As if I'm Xraying their thoughts.

Actually who am I kidding. The pizza guy and the burrito guy never ask me. And I don't have any friends, except for your avatars, and people at work. Where I have a name tag. Ah. Being in your 40's and a resident is like the vast dark matter of the social universe. You know it's there. But only with abstraction and mathematics.
Click to expand...
Wait wait wait.

You found someone who delivers burritos? 😱
 
Winged Scapula said:
While these "my degree/career/etc" is better/more difficult/etc" types of threads/comments are annoying, I'll remind our non-allopathic medicine colleagues that such comments here are not a TOS violation. If someone were to go into the Dental forums and state such, yes...THATs a TOS violation. So you can please stop reporting these posts because you think they're mean.

However, users are reminded that regardless of lack of TOS violation, there are expectations that we are respectful to each other and behave in a professional manner. Continuing this thread in such a manner will result in its closure.
Click to expand...
Do you guys remember an Opto-troll named Shnurek? Good times.
 
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