Need an Opinion about Dating a Resident

[PappaDoc]

I've been dating a medical resident for two years now. I'm not in the medical field. We have not been exclusive to each other because of her workload circumstances, though we are close and, as I've said, been seeing each other for a while.

She has recently begun dating a scrub tech. He has the advantage over me in that he is in the workplace (including the call room (ahem!). She has not dumped me and we do still see one another (albeit less so now that she has an additional love interest).

Here is my question: do hospital workplace romances like this (which obviously I cannot be a part of) typically last or fizzle out? I realize every case is different, but those of you out there have a better clue than I do. Also, considering their difference in staff status, does that matter? I'm just curious about how much I should continue to be patient or to cut my losses.

Any opinions are welcome.

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[Mad Jack]

This sounds like bad news across the board IMO. In regard to hospital romances, sometimes they last, sometimes they don't. You really never know until way on down the line, just like with any relationship. Difference in status doesn't really matter- we're not dating in 19th century England lol.

If you want exclusivity, you should ask for it and be willing to offer it in return. Given the way things are going now, it doesn't sound like that would be in the cards for her, so I don't see this working well in the long run.

Also this belongs in the Spouses and Partners subforum, as it isn't an issue regarding questions about residency, but rather relationships. Hopefully a mod can come along and move it.

 

[smq123]

Moved to Spouses and Partners.

 

[LocumOnly]

I've been dating a medical resident for two years now. I'm not in the medical field. We have not been exclusive to each other because of her workload circumstances, though we are close and, as I've said, been seeing each other for a while.

She has recently begun dating a scrub tech. He has the advantage over me in that he is in the workplace (including the call room (ahem!). She has not dumped me and we do still see one another (albeit less so now that she has an additional love interest).

Here is my question: do hospital workplace romances like this (which obviously I cannot be a part of) typically last or fizzle out? I realize every case is different, but those of you out there have a better clue than I do. Also, considering their difference in staff status, does that matter? I'm just curious about how much I should continue to be patient or to cut my losses.

Any opinions are welcome.

A woman will find a way to make things work if she likes you enough. I had a girl move her flight and cancel a trip to visit her parents (which she had planned nearly 2 months for) just to go out with me. The fact that your resident friend hasn't made time for you says the following: you are just a placeholder for her. Someone to fill a spot until a permanent fit can be found. Best move on.

Most women doctors don't seem to be very interested in status. Many are fairly secure in that respect and need not cling onto a man who has status because they have their own. Rather, I've noticed many women doctors "dating up" in the looks dept while simultaneously "dating down" in the career dept. The scrub tech is probably a ripped muscled alpha male who can give it to her right.

My advice? Don't cut your losses because it sounds like you never had anything to lose in the first place. Do nothing and be unaffected. Once her romance fizzles maybe you can go back to boning her once in a while.

 

[jakeislove]

Start dating other women.

 

[Seth Joo]

This sounds like bad news across the board IMO. In regard to hospital romances, sometimes they last, sometimes they don't. You really never know until way on down the line, just like with any relationship. Difference in status doesn't really matter- we're not dating in 19th century England lol.

If you want exclusivity, you should ask for it and be willing to offer it in return. Given the way things are going now, it doesn't sound like that would be in the cards for her, so I don't see this working well in the long run.

Also this belongs in the Spouses and Partners subforum, as it isn't an issue regarding questions about residency, but rather relationships. Hopefully a mod can come along and move it.

Find someone else, if she started seeing someone else I would say she really does not value you. Find someone who does value you. I honestly would not date anyone who is a physician, many of them are just too type A aggressive to really have a good amicable relationship.