RANT HERE thread

[mmmdreamerz]

Meanwhile I am basically like:

MO' BLOOD MO' FUN!

And l actively like large dog spays as one of the more challenging things we do surgically in GP. Millers knots are lyfe. I would shoot myself if I only did appointments all day everyday.

This is a wavelength I can relate too

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[ajs513]

Everyone’s input has been really helpful. I spoke to my vet about it and he raised an interesting point. Aside from just not liking surgery to begin with, a lot of new vets are obviously (and rightfully) nervous about doing surgery. In vet school you only get a few chances to do surgery unless you seek out other electives/outside experiences. Few if any are solo. Once you’re a vet, he said it’s definitely extremely intimidating to go from what you did in school to being on your own doing surgery on your own patient. So if you work at a multi-doctor practice, it becomes a vicious cycle of being nervous about surgery, not wanting to do it, another vet in the hospital does it instead, etc. For him, he just had to keep pushing through that anxiety until he finally felt more comfortable, and those concerns about complications, not seeing what he was doing, and everything else slowly went away. Of course he’s been in practice for almost 15 years (which isn’t a ton of time but he’s definitely not a new vet) so he’s had some years to get over that hump. I just liked his take on it because it seems like most vets start out very nervous to do surgery, and the difference between those who aren’t nervous anymore and those who still are is that the former wanted to continue with it and did it enough that they don’t feel nervous anymore. Of course there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do surgery with the 1,000 other things you can do especially as a GP. I just like to think that even if I’m extremely nervous years down the line, it’s common and if I decide I want to push past that, i eventually can.

TL;DR: apparently if you want to push past that nervousness, many people end up being able to. Almost everyone starts out very nervous, and if you want to continue doing surgery because you’ll enjoy it, you’ll likely get over that anxiety once you have enough experience under your belt.

 

[WildZoo]

Everyone’s input has been really helpful. I spoke to my vet about it and he raised an interesting point. Aside from just not liking surgery to begin with, a lot of new vets are obviously (and rightfully) nervous about doing surgery. In vet school you only get a few chances to do surgery unless you seek out other electives/outside experiences. Few if any are solo. Once you’re a vet, he said it’s definitely extremely intimidating to go from what you did in school to being on your own doing surgery on your own patient. So if you work at a multi-doctor practice, it becomes a vicious cycle of being nervous about surgery, not wanting to do it, another vet in the hospital does it instead, etc. For him, he just had to keep pushing through that anxiety until he finally felt more comfortable, and those concerns about complications, not seeing what he was doing, and everything else slowly went away. Of course he’s been in practice for almost 15 years (which isn’t a ton of time but he’s definitely not a new vet) so he’s had some years to get over that hump. I just liked his take on it because it seems like most vets start out very nervous to do surgery, and the difference between those who aren’t nervous anymore and those who still are is that the former wanted to continue with it and did it enough that they don’t feel nervous anymore. Of course there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do surgery with the 1,000 other things you can do especially as a GP. I just like to think that even if I’m extremely nervous years down the line, it’s common and if I decide I want to push past that, i eventually can.

TL;DR: apparently if you want to push past that nervousness, many people end up being able to. Almost everyone starts out very nervous, and if you want to continue doing surgery because you’ll enjoy it, you’ll likely get over that anxiety once you have enough experience under your belt.

I was nervous during my first surgery but not excessively so. And even just doing 10 of them last semester I realized it was something I really enjoyed and looked forward to. I had classmates getting the exact same experience who hated it or were stressed every time. I think a lot of it is just a very individual thing. If it is something you are interested in getting more comfortable with, I definitely recommend seeking out those extra opportunities! Here everyone will do several surgeries on two different required rotations during 4th year, but there are definitely opportunities to do more if you look for them.

 

[allieh8607]

I'm late to the party, but on the topic of hating surgery....I make it a point to not check my appointment schedule at work in advance because I've found when I know what surgeries are scheduled I tend to get anxious about them. I just saw a text from my colleague saying I'm most likely going to have to cut a foreign body obstruction tomorrow. While I appreciate the heads up...I'm just dreading work tomorrow now. I hate abdominal explores.

update: Rads look much better this morning and it appears the obstruction has resolved!! Surgery gods were on my side. Although, currently waiting on rads for a staff member's kitty who has been vomiting easter grass....

 

[battie]

More of a sad, less of a rant

I liked seeing all of the "national siblings day" posts over the last 24 hours. But it still makes me sad because the last picture I will ever have with my sister is now over a year old, from Friendsmas 2017. Posts from her or with her pop up on Facebook memories and most of the time it's actually really comforting to be reminded of those good times. It's just when these holidays, unofficial or real, come around that the memories hurt more than they comfort because we'll never be able to make more of those memories.

 

[SkiOtter]

I’m sorry bats <3

 

[WildZoo]

More of a sad, less of a rant

I liked seeing all of the "national siblings day" posts over the last 24 hours. But it still makes me sad because the last picture I will ever have with my sister is now over a year old, from Friendsmas 2017. Posts from her or with her pop up on Facebook memories and most of the time it's actually really comforting to be reminded of those good times. It's just when these holidays, unofficial or real, come around that the memories hurt more than they comfort because we'll never be able to make more of those memories.

I'm sorry bats. I get similar feels about father's day.

 

[ajs513]

Im

More of a sad, less of a rant

I liked seeing all of the "national siblings day" posts over the last 24 hours. But it still makes me sad because the last picture I will ever have with my sister is now over a year old, from Friendsmas 2017. Posts from her or with her pop up on Facebook memories and most of the time it's actually really comforting to be reminded of those good times. It's just when these holidays, unofficial or real, come around that the memories hurt more than they comfort because we'll never be able to make more of those memories.

im so sorry

 

[altadama]

Had to put my 17 and 1/2 year old kitty to sleep but cant stop second guessing my decision. I miss her so much already.

 

[ajs513]

Had to put my 17 and 1/2 year old kitty to sleep but cant stop second guessing my decision. I miss her so much already.

It’s so difficult not to, but think of it this way: whether or not there was anything anyone could’ve done, she’s not in pain now. That’s the absolute most important part. Hang in there. I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to her.

 

[deleted498041]

I'm going to be a surgeon one day and I hate open spays. Honestly, having to do open spays every day would be a huge disqualifying criteria for me being a GP. Mad respect for the vets who do those all day every day on every size and age of animal.

 

[FutureFelineVet]

Had to put my 17 and 1/2 year old kitty to sleep but cant stop second guessing my decision. I miss her so much already.

I’m so sorry. I’m actually just having to make this decision for my 3 yr old kitty and am devastated. Both of her ureters are obstructed and the prognosis is extremely poor. Thinking of you, I’m sorry, I know how upsetting it is.

 

[FutureFelineVet]

I mentioned it last night, but I think I just need to vent a little more and those in the vet field will understand...

I noticed my 3 yo FS DSH was drinking a little more water and had lost a little weight, but she was still eating super well and very active. I decided to take her into work to have her labs done, she has a habit of eating lizards (I live in Florida) so I don’t know, I thought maybe she had liver flukes or something not so crazy going on. Her left kidney was very large on palpation so the dr recommended rads. I took them and her left kidney was huge and there were obvious stones in it and stones making their way through the ureters. The dr took a quick look on ultrasound and saw there was fluid around the kidneys, she was thinking possible cyst, ureteral blockage, lymphoma, or dry FIP and sent me to local specialty hospital to get a more extensive ultrasound done, samples taken if needed, etc. There they told me it looked like she had blockages in both ureters and said the prognosis was poor but I could go up to UF for a further consult as there may be a surgery they could do (SUB device). Blood work was still pending at this point and I decided to take her to UF because I needed to know that I at least tried and talked to them... The vet at UF was amazing and really talked to me honestly about my options. Her kidney values are highly elevated and she would need extensive hospitalization before even proceeding to surgery. The surgery would like be $5-6k itself ($12k if needed for both kidneys, which would be likely) and since it would involve a port, the patients usually frequently develop infections. And her kidneys are so damaged at this point she would have a significantly decreased lifespan anyways. In the best case scenario I would buy her a few years, definitely not more than 5. I couldn’t put her through any of that. I love her so much, and the last thing I want is for her to be poked and prodded only to have her pass away a few days later. I decided to take her home so she could spend time with her sister (who she’s incredibly bonded to), spend time outside, and enjoy all the junk food she wants... She’s still eating well, very active, no vomiting yet... so I’m enjoying what little time I have left with her. They said at most it’s probably a few days. As soon as I notice her going downhill though, I’m going to let her go, I don’t want her to suffer. My dr is going to come to our house so at least she can go here.. I’m just devastated, I’ve lost many cats over the years, but this was so unexpected and she is so young. I haven’t been able to eat or stop crying. Life just sucks sometimes. I’m getting ready to start vet school in a couple weeks and was planning on bringing her and her sister with me.. I’m thankful I still have my other kitty, but this is just so awful. And the worst of it all was that yesterday was her third birthday..

 

[Lupin21]

So sorry, FutureFeline. That is incredibly heartbreaking and definitely one of the hardest aspects of any medical professional, let alone when it's your own. The young ones that just got started. We are here for you.

 

[WildZoo]

I'm so, so sorry @FutureFelineVet, that is absolutely heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you as you process this. You probably know this but sometimes it helps to hear it, you have done absolutely everything you could for her and hopefully you can take solace in that and that you have given her an excellent life. There's not much more an animal can ask for than an owner who loves them as much as you clearly love your kitty.

 

[Doctor-S]

When I return home today, I'm going to hug my cat even closer to me because we often don't know when we might lose them.

@FutureFelineVet and @altadama ... VERY sorry about the loss of your beautiful cats!

 

[FutureFelineVet]

Thank you all for your kind words.

 

[that redhead]

Thank you all for your kind words.

So sorry to hear You went above and beyond to figure out the options and I think your plan is the kindest for her. Big hug.

 

[twelvetigers]

What a rare and crazy thing to happen. Rest assured that a zebra diagnosis like that was absolutely not your fault and would have been so difficult to manage. You did what you could - otherwise that’s just bad luck.

 

[killerleaf]

futurefelinevvet: lots of hugs. lots and lots.

 

[Coopah]

@FutureFelineVet
I'm so sorry. Life is rough sometimes but we're here for you to vent at any time. I know nothing can really help with a loss like this, especially such an unexpected one. My thoughts and well wishes are with you during such a difficult time.

 

[altadama]

Thanks @ajs513 @Doctor-S @FutureFelineVet. And I'm sorry about your kitty FutureFelineVet. Its just so hard and so hard to not second guess even though I know it doesn't do any good.

Edit because I dont want to make a new post for the same rant but also: Had such awful dreams about my cat. I dont know if Im feeling guilty or second guessing the decision or just missing her...but it has not been a pleasant few nights. And I keep thinking about needing to give her meds and then remembering shes gone.

 

[FutureFelineVet]

Thank you again everyone. We just said goodbye to her this morning, she went very peacefully. I’m happy she got to have a great day yesterday chasing lizards (she caught two and brought them to me growling. I rescued them, but she was so proud lol), eating all her favorite snacks, and cuddling with her sister. Going to miss her so much, but I’m so happy she’s no longer in pain. This morning I could just tell she was no longer feeling well.

 

[supershorty]

I'm so sorry, @FutureFelineVet . It is so hard when it's unexpected. Thinking of you <3

 

[ajs513]

Thank you again everyone. We just said goodbye to her this morning, she went very peacefully. I’m happy she got to have a great day yesterday chasing lizards (she caught two and brought them to me growling. I rescued them, but she was so proud lol), eating all her favorite snacks, and cuddling with her sister. Going to miss her so much, but I’m so happy she’s no longer in pain. This morning I could just tell she was no longer feeling well.

I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye today. Hopefully it’s reassuring knowing that she seemed ready, and that you made some great memories with her.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Meanwhile I am basically like:

MO' BLOOD MO' FUN!

And l actively like large dog spays as one of the more challenging things we do surgically in GP. Millers knots are lyfe. I would shoot myself if I only did appointments all day everyday.

Omg high five! The reason why I could never leave GP is because I love surgery and dentistry so much I couldn’t give either up. I love large dog spays, and even better if they need to be pexy’d. All the better when they also have an inguinal hernia. Nothing makes me happier than a huge juicy pyo. I supervise students with surgery here and there, and all the oopsies they do when they try to spay an animal is seriously the highlight of my day. The dropped pedicles, the lacerated spleens. Like seriously, bring it! Gets my blood pumping, and it brings me extra zen to be the calm in the midst of the freakout. Nothing makes me happier than FB surgeries that either have amazing things stuck in the GIT, or those requiring R&As. It amazes me that you can just cut and paste intestinal segments together like that. If a client won’t take referral, and I have a tech willing to help me, I’ll cut those at like any hour. I’ve cut them sat after close, and I’ve cut them at 11pm. I’m such a junkie I don’t really care if I’m personally not compensated for these things.

I don’t mind appts, and I need to have a couple days of appt per week so that my clients can see me, but I do find appt days more draining. I’m just never super excited about starting an appt day like I am with my surgery days.

 

[MixedAnimals77]

My mousepad on my laptop decided to quit working my mouse is super laggy. I have 3 more weeks of school before I can even send it in :/

 

[WildZoo]

My mousepad on my laptop decided to quit working my mouse is super laggy. I have 3 more weeks of school before I can even send it in :/

Can you get a cheap wireless mouse in the meantime?

 

[ajs513]

First world problem rant: I ordered sushi off of grubhub from my favorite sushi place. It’s a 30 second walk from my house and they have an awesome lunch deal where you get 3 regular rolls and a salad for $11. I placed my order and it got confirmed by the restaurant. I went to pick it up and saw that the restaurant was closed by the freaking health department... now I’m eating pizza, wishing it was sushi, and am disproportionately upset right now.

 

[SkiOtter]

First world problem rant: I ordered sushi off of grubhub from my favorite sushi place. It’s a 30 second walk from my house and they have an awesome lunch deal where you get 3 regular rolls and a salad for $11. I placed my order and it got confirmed by the restaurant. I went to pick it up and saw that the restaurant was closed by the freaking health department... now I’m eating pizza, wishing it was sushi, and am disproportionately upset right now.

I...uh...think it’s for the best you’re not eating sushi.....

 

[twelvetigers]

I...uh...think it’s for the best you’re not eating sushi.....

Beat me to it. If there’s one thing you want done correctly....

 

[ajs513]

I...uh...think it’s for the best you’re not eating sushi.....

I think I agree with you there. I mean I typically get safe things when it’s cheap, but after reading the report I think I won’t be going back there regardless. Check it out.

 

[Squeaksmom]

I think I agree with you there. I mean I typically get safe things when it’s cheap, but after reading the report I think I won’t be going back there regardless. Check it out. View attachment 258309

Wow... they really went above and beyond in failing that inspection. A for effort but F for edible or safe!

 

[ajs513]

Wow... they really went above and beyond in failing that inspection. A for effort but F for edible or safe!

Mouse droppings under the stairs is one thing. Sometimes you don’t clean under some areas, and Philly has mice in every building in every block. Whatever. But on shelves and ON A SLICER???? Nope

 

[supershorty]

I think I agree with you there. I mean I typically get safe things when it’s cheap, but after reading the report I think I won’t be going back there regardless. Check it out. View attachment 258309

Sounds like a place that should end up on Kitchen Nightmares.

 

[ajs513]

Sounds like a place that should end up on Kitchen Nightmares.

“This fish is RAW!”
...wait

 

[altadama]

Been over a week since I said goodbye to my kitty. Did not expect to still feel so guilty and be missing her so intensely...this has hit me so much harder than I ever imagined.

 

[Squeaksmom]

Hyperthyroidism plus dysphagia has been a hell of a weightloss plan! We've got the thyroid under control... I think... but I still can't really eat so I'm slowly re-losing the weight I'd worked hard to gain back. I'm 5'6"... yes, I have oriental blood, but I still shouldn't be 115 lbs. I'd got back to 125, but I'm dropping again. I should be more like 135! I'm being worked up for eosinophilic esophagitis, and if that's what it is I'll likely have to cut out wheat, soy, dairy, eggs, nuts and fish. Not sure what that leaves me to eat! I mean, it'll be good to have answers if that's what it is (if not I'm not sure exactly when I'm supposed to fit in more testing once fourth year starts in two weeks!) but do I seriously have to be such a lemon?? I want a refund on this body!

 

[Dinashadow]

Been over a week since I said goodbye to my kitty. Did not expect to still feel so guilty and be missing her so intensely...this has hit me so much harder than I ever imagined.

I'm so sorry. I lost my 20 year old kitty in December and it still hurts. I still feel guilty and wonder if I made the right call. One of my coworkers brought her senior cat in for blood today and I had to leave to cry a little bit because I couldn't stop thinking of my kitty.

Talk to someone your close to. See a counselor if you can. Remember your feelings are normal and don't let anyone down play them. Let yourself grieve.

I'm getting a tattoo of my kitty's paw print and I had beads made with her ashes. I also made a little memorial for her with her urn and everything. It really helped

Sorry again. My PM box is open if you need to talk

 

[cubsrule4e]

I h8 boiizz

Stop it

 

[cubsrule4e]

Been over a week since I said goodbye to my kitty. Did not expect to still feel so guilty and be missing her so intensely...this has hit me so much harder than I ever imagined.

I'm so sorry. I lost my 20 year old kitty in December and it still hurts. I still feel guilty and wonder if I made the right call. One of my coworkers brought her senior cat in for blood today and I had to leave to cry a little bit because I couldn't stop thinking of my kitty.

Talk to someone your close to. See a counselor if you can. Remember your feelings are normal and don't let anyone down play them. Let yourself grieve.

I'm getting a tattoo of my kitty's paw print and I had beads made with her ashes. I also made a little memorial for her with her urn and everything. It really helped

Sorry again. My PM box is open if you need to talk

Awwww.... Ive got tufts of my 19 year old tortie's hair and multiple clay paw prints as well as the blanket ive posted elsewhere (Died a year ago in February). In 2011 i was in shreveport in my first year of ophtho residency and she started projectile vomiting and losing weight. She had a gallstone in her bile duct and they said her only hope was to go to houston for their vet university... but a local doctor who had done gallbladder surgery on dogs heard about my cat and offered to do a cholecystectomy on her.... I still have her gallstone (no bigger than 1/4 the head of a cushion pin) and she lived 7 more years!

Myself, my mom, my aunt, and both grandparents on that side all had their gallbladders removed, so it was then she "officially" became part of the family!

I dont know how religious you are, if at all, but my kitty just happened to die on a Wednesday morning (the half day that Im off). I woke up to her breathing her last choking breaths and was able to hold her as she passed. I buried her out in the side yard and said a prayer, and when I looked up at the sky, I swear there was a paw print made out of the clouds reassuring me that she will always be ok.

 

[grebes4lyfe]

I dont know how religious you are, if at all, but my kitty just happened to die on a Wednesday morning (the half day that Im off). I woke up to her breathing her last choking breaths and was able to hold her as she passed. I buried her out in the side yard and said a prayer, and when I looked up at the sky, I swear there was a paw print made out of the clouds reassuring me that she will always be ok.

 

[altadama]

I'm so sorry. I lost my 20 year old kitty in December and it still hurts. I still feel guilty and wonder if I made the right call. One of my coworkers brought her senior cat in for blood today and I had to leave to cry a little bit because I couldn't stop thinking of my kitty.

Talk to someone your close to. See a counselor if you can. Remember your feelings are normal and don't let anyone down play them. Let yourself grieve.

I'm getting a tattoo of my kitty's paw print and I had beads made with her ashes. I also made a little memorial for her with her urn and everything. It really helped

Sorry again. My PM box is open if you need to talk

Thanks so much! I don't really have anyone close who gets it unfortunately. My parents aren't cat people and they'd been trying to convince me to let her go for quite a while. My fiancé has never had to make the decision to let an animal go and I don't think he really understands the guilt component. Finals are starting up next week and whenever a slide or a lecture comes up with an old kitty with any one of her problems comes up I just start crying again. I just miss her so much...I'm honestly not even that much of a cat person, but she was just something else and we really bonded when I moved to start vet school/took her with me. My room here feels so empty without her even with my other cat. I had a paw print made but I haven't been able to look at it yet.

Awwww.... Ive got tufts of my 19 year old tortie's hair and multiple clay paw prints as well as the blanket ive posted elsewhere (Died a year ago in February). In 2011 i was in shreveport in my first year of ophtho residency and she started projectile vomiting and losing weight. She had a gallstone in her bile duct and they said her only hope was to go to houston for their vet university... but a local doctor who had done gallbladder surgery on dogs heard about my cat and offered to do a cholecystectomy on her.... I still have her gallstone (no bigger than 1/4 the head of a cushion pin) and she lived 7 more years!

Myself, my mom, my aunt, and both grandparents on that side all had their gallbladders removed, so it was then she "officially" became part of the family!

I dont know how religious you are, if at all, but my kitty just happened to die on a Wednesday morning (the half day that Im off). I woke up to her breathing her last choking breaths and was able to hold her as she passed. I buried her out in the side yard and said a prayer, and when I looked up at the sky, I swear there was a paw print made out of the clouds reassuring me that she will always be ok.

Thanks for telling me about your kitty. I'm not "go to church every week" religious, but I definitely do believe in an afterlife and signs and angels. I've been desperately hoping/praying for some sort of sign that I did the right thing and she's okay but unfortunately can't say anything like that has jumped out to me. Even little things like washing her bed (she had incontinence issues sometimes and my washer just got fixed, so it needs to be done) or thinking about getting rid of/donating her medications and prescription food gets me crying again even though logically I know I don't need it anymore and it can probably really help another kitty. For every other animal I've lost I always made some sort of donation in their memory but so far I haven't found anything to donate to that really feels right...and the various bills have left me kind of stretched thin financially.

 

[ajs513]

Been over a week since I said goodbye to my kitty. Did not expect to still feel so guilty and be missing her so intensely...this has hit me so much harder than I ever imagined.

The sadness isn’t something you should feel like you should work on, since it’s very natural and an important part of just being human. You’re allowed to be sad, and this is something obviously no one here will feel differently about being sad over. It’s awful to lose a pet, especially when you have to make the difficult decision to put them to sleep. But please don’t feel guilty or have any sort of lasting feeling of guilt. People in this field always do so much for their pets and still feel like maybe they could’ve done more. At the end of the day, there’s usually not much more we could do, and if there is, it usually only extends their life a very short amount. You made the right decision, and I can say that with total certainty. She was in pain, there wasn’t anything that could take that pain away while she was alive, and so you did the only thing you could do to make the pain go away. That’s extremely selfless of you and I hope you can see that. It’ll take time. But I really hope you don’t feel guilty about this much longer. It’s already enough to feel sad. You’re a good person. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

 

[sheltermed]

Stop it

but why!

 

[vetmedhead]

It's okay to take as long as you need to grieve. I just had a cardio exam today and I cried the entire time I studied the Feline HCM/Thromboembolism slides because I lost my childhood cat to a saddle thrombus during my junior year of college and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but after he died I had a recurring dream where someone handed him to me and told me that if I ever set him down, I would never see him again. So I had all these dreams where I was doing things like brushing my teeth or taking a shower or driving while holding my cat as tight as I could. I had that dream at least once a month for years after he died (and actually had it for the first time the night he died - which was maybe two or three days before my parents told me about it because he died during finals week and they wanted to wait until finals were over). I eventually had one where I told him I loved him and set him down and I haven't had the dream since then.

 

[DRider13]

My best friend is moving across the country in two days. I met him a few years ago, right after my other best friend moved half-way across the world. I'm glad he's moving on to bigger and better opportunities, but it still sucks.

 

[ziggyandjazzy]

It's okay to take as long as you need to grieve. I just had a cardio exam today and I cried the entire time I studied the Feline HCM/Thromboembolism slides because I lost my childhood cat to a saddle thrombus during my junior year of college and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but after he died I had a recurring dream where someone handed him to me and told me that if I ever set him down, I would never see him again. So I had all these dreams where I was doing things like brushing my teeth or taking a shower or driving while holding my cat as tight as I could. I had that dream at least once a month for years after he died (and actually had it for the first time the night he died - which was maybe two or three days before my parents told me about it because he died during finals week and they wanted to wait until finals were over). I eventually had one where I told him I loved him and set him down and I haven't had the dream since then.

We just started learning about these things and it was so hard for me not to cry in class. I lost two cats to saddle thrombi. It's truly so horrible

 

[jaboo]

It's okay to take as long as you need to grieve. I just had a cardio exam today and I cried the entire time I studied the Feline HCM/Thromboembolism slides because I lost my childhood cat to a saddle thrombus during my junior year of college and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but after he died I had a recurring dream where someone handed him to me and told me that if I ever set him down, I would never see him again. So I had all these dreams where I was doing things like brushing my teeth or taking a shower or driving while holding my cat as tight as I could. I had that dream at least once a month for years after he died (and actually had it for the first time the night he died - which was maybe two or three days before my parents told me about it because he died during finals week and they wanted to wait until finals were over). I eventually had one where I told him I loved him and set him down and I haven't had the dream since then.

Ugh, every time you tell this I think of my first childhood kitty. You told me this story then too. It’s such an accurate representation of the grieving process.

 

[vetmedhead]

We just started learning about these things and it was so hard for me not to cry in class. I lost two cats to saddle thrombi. It's truly so horrible

Saddle thrombi and FIP are the two that always upset me. I've never had a cat with FIP but I just can't imagine - it must be so awful.

My friends have started joking that nothing bad is allowed to happen to kitties or I'll be sad