It is just very stressful for me. I mostly don't like abdominal surgery or orthopedics. I really despise spays. They are bloody, fatty, slippery, you can't see most of what you are doing because the ovaries in the deep, dark abyss of the abdomen and yes, you break the ligament and bring the ovary "up and out" but it still isn't by much so it is hard to see what you are doing so a lot is by feel. So you have to kind of hope that ligature you just placed is tight enough, didn't catch any fat, omentum and didn't catch the ureter either.
So then I go home and think about the 2342341 complications that can occur after doing a spay and hope that none of those happen to your patient. I can't stop thinking about the potential "wrongs" that can happen and when things do go "wrong" they can go VERY wrong... so then I don't sleep, get overwhelmed, don't sleep again because too overwhelmed and overtired so then I end up in a long cycle of not sleeping.
Surgery just isn't my thing. I don't mind neuters, some mass removals, dentals, wound/laceration repairs but anything else gets a hard pass from me.