RANT HERE thread

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Sent an email establishing ground rules and I feel so bad but like I’m losing my mind

They don't feel bad for their actions, you shouldn't feel bad for yours.

Their emergency is not your problem.

- signed, an ER vet that ain't got time for people's ****
 
how to deal with the cliques in vet school??? idk if i’m just doing something wrong but it seems that no one really likes me. i tried to join a group but they proceed to make plans in front of me but don’t invite me, avoid talking to me when we go out, one girl straight up called me ugly to my face and another called me a know it all after answering a question THEY asked me? everyone seems to have their group and i’m just kinda there … on top of that my boyfriend has been ignoring me and im just going through it …😭
 
Sorry Breezy. It can be hard. I’d say just keep trying (but not with those meanie-pants, find better peoole)…a lot of people definitely found their “group” quickly, but in my class long ago, the groups were always shifting. Fourth year I got close with a girl I seriously disliked during second year…turned out she wasn’t as bad as I thought. Does your school have any sort of communal study space? I got to know quite a few people just from being a “regular” studying in the student lounge most evenings. They weren’t necessarily in my class and we didn’t hang out away from the school, but it gave me people to talk to on study breaks and things like that.
 
Have you joined any clubs? I found I met a ton of people outside of first year by doing that. I'm not someone who makes friends super easily, but I found my small group of 2-3 people I spend a lot of time with, and I know of at least 7-10 I can meaningfully chat with between classes or at events.

As far as the girls who have been mean already, I've found the cliquey mean girls exist in every life stage, no matter how far from high school you get. In a strange way, it's helpful they showed you their true colors now so you don't waste your time on them (not that that makes it hurt less, I don't want to invalidate that). It's 100% a them problem and not a you problem.

I also frequently feel as if I'm not "socially successful" because I don't have a big group that goes out on the weekends and has fun, but I have my people, and I tend to hold those people close. It's okay if that's how you are too. You don't need a group of 12-15 people to have good friends.

Is that rambling or too many cliches? I don't know. This is your first year and people are still finding their place and their footing. I would have told you up until about February of first year that I didn't feel like I had friends at school, but those relationships were just taking some time to build. All of you have been through a massive life change and taking your time to settle in is okay. You'll find your place, it might just take a bit longer than you hope.
 
how to deal with the cliques in vet school??? idk if i’m just doing something wrong but it seems that no one really likes me. i tried to join a group but they proceed to make plans in front of me but don’t invite me, avoid talking to me when we go out, one girl straight up called me ugly to my face and another called me a know it all after answering a question THEY asked me? everyone seems to have their group and i’m just kinda there … on top of that my boyfriend has been ignoring me and im just going through it …😭
This can be so hard. I completely understand this - cliques formed so fast at my vet school during my first year and honestly, I don't think I can say I belong perfectly in one even as a second year student. I float around a lot between friend groups. What helped me was finding some girls I liked/wanted to be friends with and intentionally hanging out with them (regardless of their clique). I also found that it helps to find friends outside of the vet school too, especially mental health wise. So you can talk about something that is not the recent drama in your class for a little bit! For example, I joined a small group at my church and have made some wonderful friends that way. Best of luck - you are not alone breezy!
 
crashing out over how some people during lecture just giggle and talk (to the point where people multiple rows up are turning around),, as if the people around them aren't trying to listen and learn
These people would have been shushed so hard in my class.
 
crashing out over how some people during lecture just giggle and talk (to the point where people multiple rows up are turning around),, as if the people around them aren't trying to listen and learn
100% driving me crazy that we're in a graduate level program and professors are having to tell people to be quiet so the class can hear them answer questions
 
People will legit play like tik tok or instagram videos with the volume on low as if that makes them inaudible to others 🙄 Drives me up the wall. I sit in the back because it works best for me but like, if you’re not going to pay attention, then don’t just be QUIET.
 
My f***** narcissist of a boss absolutely used me to triangulate against my coworker this morning. 'Hey ___, pp9 told me _____, can you explain yourself?' When in reality I said no such thing, boss actually asked me about the situation and I said 'Idk, why don't you ask ____?'

Oh, and she did this in a room full of people. So now I look like a conniving b****. I immediately talked to my coworker and told her I did no such thing and would not have done such a thing, but I've already been approached by one of the witnesses to this conversation who was like 'wtf pp9' so this is not good. I knew going in to this job that my boss would be a piece of work, but we just have literally no oversight by anyone else or anyone to go to who can do anything about how bad her bossing is.

Also ironic that when I finally close the chapter with my narcissist sister, my boss ramps up her narcissist behavior 100x. There is no escape.
 
AITA if I want to try to get a higher paying VA job without telling them I might be moving for vet school in July (or even May if it’s LMU- OPCVM) 😭 I have been at my current job for 2 years now and while I like the people, it’s been pretty slow and I’m underpaid. Just looking for something new! But I know if I tell this potential job that I’m going to vet school, they won’t want to hire me… It would be a $3.30 increase which I think adds up when you consider I won’t be working in vet school for the most part :’) The most difficult part would be veterinary interviews if they run into my schedule
 
AITA if I want to try to get a higher paying VA job without telling them I might be moving for vet school in July (or even May if it’s LMU- OPCVM) 😭 I have been at my current job for 2 years now and while I like the people, it’s been pretty slow and I’m underpaid. Just looking for something new! But I know if I tell this potential job that I’m going to vet school, they won’t want to hire me… It would be a $3.30 increase which I think adds up when you consider I won’t be working in vet school for the most part :’) The most difficult part would be veterinary interviews if they run into my schedule

I solidly feel that it's no one's business what your future plans are. And, most importantly, people's plans change. There's a slim chance that something happens and you defer for a year for whatever reason. Now you have a new job that pays better for that year.
 
With the rates of turnover for vet assistants and vet techs, no one should bat an eye at someone only planning to stay for 7-9 months. I mean half the techs and assistants at my last er clinic didn’t make it 7-9 months. There will be people who don’t like the situation, but their opinion doesn’t usually matter a whole lot. I would keep your plans to yourself, at least until you’ve onboarded and probably longer except for people who need to know.
 
Also ironic that when I finally close the chapter with my narcissist sister, my boss ramps up her narcissist behavior 100x. There is no escape.
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Issues with supervisors absolutely suck. This absolutely doesn’t help right now, but at least you’re cookin’ a little short term escape due to arrive next year? I’m mostly joking but that really is an awful position to be in.
 
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Issues with supervisors absolutely suck. This absolutely doesn’t help right now, but at least you’re cookin’ a little short term escape due to arrive next year? I’m mostly joking but that really is an awful position to be in.
True...although I do have concerns about whether or not one of my colleagues will take over my caseload while I'm gone and refuse to give it all back (we have a big issue with territoriality and case guarding here). Ugh.

Just one normal workplace. That's all I ask for. My husband thinks I should confront my boss and say something like "Hey, that's not how I remember our conversation going and what you said manufactured conflict and put me in a terrible position.'
 
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