RANT HERE thread

[apoptosis09]

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Today is my last day in the US before I leave for school and it's such a weird melancholic feeling. I assume everyone gets like this before going to vet school, but there's constantly this little voice in the back of my head telling me it could have been different, if I just tried harder I could have gotten into my instate and things could have been so much easier, ect. I know it's part of that imposter syndrome that everyone suffers from, but the finality of it all really hammers it home. All of my belongings are in boxes at my parent's house or in 3 checked bags, my beloved pets are being cared for by parents and friends until I get things sorted over there in a year or so, and so I just can't help but wonder. Everyone keeps asking and saying how excited I must be, and I am! But there's a sense of loss there too, just thinking about 'what could have been'. I don't doubt I'm making the right decision, only if I could have tried harder in the past to get a different outcome. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm there, making friends and doing the work, but I'll definitely have some part of homesickness that inevitably comes with moving away from familiar things.

I'm sorry, moving and culture shock are tough, especially moving to a new country.
But on the other hand - that's pretty awesome! Not only going to vet school, but getting to do it abroad. I definitely understand your in-state being cheaper and more convenient, but there are so many cool things you'll get to do and learn in a new country that you would never experience staying close to home. Honestly makes me a little jealous 😅. I hope you come to enjoy it! And if not, it's only a few school years until you can live and practice wherever you want.

 

[apoptosis09]

Yea people are giving me **** this year about sitting in the front row on a particular side of the room. They want to sit there bc they did last year, but my friends are on that side this year and I need front row bc I'm hard of hearing. If I'm there first, I don't really understand why it's such a big deal to sit on the specific side of the room in a specific chair every time. Like, go sit on the other side! The front row is open lol. If they get there before me then I will sit on the other side. It's really not deep and this is coming from someone with anxiety who relies on routine and predictability for comfort lol

Y'all are going to get the same lecture we did if they keep that up 💀

Also ironically I end up in the front few rows in our lecture hall because its the last to fill up and I'm not as early as everyone else 😅 the very front and center is avoided like the plague - probably because the lecturers like to bring gross specimens to class and it does smell a bit lol

 

[beans2020]

Today is my last day in the US before I leave for school and it's such a weird melancholic feeling. I assume everyone gets like this before going to vet school, but there's constantly this little voice in the back of my head telling me it could have been different, if I just tried harder I could have gotten into my instate and things could have been so much easier, ect. I know it's part of that imposter syndrome that everyone suffers from, but the finality of it all really hammers it home. All of my belongings are in boxes at my parent's house or in 3 checked bags, my beloved pets are being cared for by parents and friends until I get things sorted over there in a year or so, and so I just can't help but wonder. Everyone keeps asking and saying how excited I must be, and I am! But there's a sense of loss there too, just thinking about 'what could have been'. I don't doubt I'm making the right decision, only if I could have tried harder in the past to get a different outcome. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm there, making friends and doing the work, but I'll definitely have some part of homesickness that inevitably comes with moving away from familiar things.

As someone who didn't get to go to her in state and had to move away from home - I felt exactly the same way when I moved to Missouri last year for school. The town I am from is literally 40 minutes from my IS vet school (close enough that I commuted there to work one summer). It stung when I realized I had to leave my home state and family for school. If I'm being completely honest, it still does sometimes. Something my family keeps telling me is that vet school is NOT forever and you can go back to your home state once you're done! And in the meantime, you will learn so much about yourself and will grow in ways you never thought you would. Plus you'll get to meet people and have experiences you would never have had otherwise! (Like apoptosis said). Sending some love your way - it'll be hard, but you've totally got this!! Best of luck tomorrow and with the start of your school year!

 

[BunnyFluffy]

I'm sorry, moving and culture shock are tough, especially moving to a new country.
But on the other hand - that's pretty awesome! Not only going to vet school, but getting to do it abroad. I definitely understand your in-state being cheaper and more convenient, but there are so many cool things you'll get to do and learn in a new country that you would never experience staying close to home. Honestly makes me a little jealous 😅. I hope you come to enjoy it! And if not, it's only a few school years until you can live and practice wherever you want.

As someone who didn't get to go to her in state and had to move away from home - I felt exactly the same way when I moved to Missouri last year for school. The town I am from is literally 40 minutes from my IS vet school (close enough that I commuted there to work one summer). It stung when I realized I had to leave my home state and family for school. If I'm being completely honest, it still does sometimes. Something my family keeps telling me is that vet school is NOT forever and you can go back to your home state once you're done! And in the meantime, you will learn so much about yourself and will grow in ways you never thought you would. Plus you'll get to meet people and have experiences you would never have had otherwise! (Like apoptosis said). Sending some love your way - it'll be hard, but you've totally got this!! Best of luck tomorrow and with the start of your school year!

Aww, thanks you guys! ❤️ I appreciate the kind words and wishes, really. I'm definitely grateful that I get to go abroad to get a great education, not something everyone can do for sure. And you're both right, it's only a little while in the grand scheme of life, and I've always gone by the motto of "I can do anything for x amount of time", and somehow it helps. I'm definitely excited to start school, it'll get my mind off of things for sure.

 

[fauna]

Today is my last day in the US before I leave for school and it's such a weird melancholic feeling. I assume everyone gets like this before going to vet school, but there's constantly this little voice in the back of my head telling me it could have been different, if I just tried harder I could have gotten into my instate and things could have been so much easier, ect. I know it's part of that imposter syndrome that everyone suffers from, but the finality of it all really hammers it home. All of my belongings are in boxes at my parent's house or in 3 checked bags, my beloved pets are being cared for by parents and friends until I get things sorted over there in a year or so, and so I just can't help but wonder. Everyone keeps asking and saying how excited I must be, and I am! But there's a sense of loss there too, just thinking about 'what could have been'. I don't doubt I'm making the right decision, only if I could have tried harder in the past to get a different outcome. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm there, making friends and doing the work, but I'll definitely have some part of homesickness that inevitably comes with moving away from familiar things.

hey!! I am still in the US, so I know that my experience isn't the same as yours. But, I was really emotional during my move and leading up to it. I think I sobbed like two days after I got accepted, not out of happiness, but purely just out of being overwhelmed and feeling like I was really going to grieve my current life at the time. I love my hometown, I loved my job, my friends, my family. I honestly had never even gotten that ecstatic feeling of acceptance, I was mostly just really worried.

For me, starting school was the best thing. That is when I truly got that amazing feeling of "I made it!" and I am a month in and that feeling still hasn't faded. Sure, it's stressful and I still have anxiety, but, I am literally so happy to be learning all of this finally. I get stressed and I complain a lot lol, but in general, I still have this feeling of just being so happy to be here and this really amazing affirmation that I got what I always wanted (even if the location is different, even if it's not what I imagined). I feel like nobody says that vet school is fun, but it is! I know I am still early into school so I don't want to sound super naive but, genuinely, I feel so happy to be here.

I am so busy with school that I honestly don't feel like I have time to be homesick. I was pretty worried about being homesick because I moved far from home once before and got homesick within a week and then traveled home every chance I could-- which I knew wouldn't be possible as a vet student. The difference was I had a lotttt of freetime in that scenario and I didn't really have any friends or any "third places" to go to. Here, I am always working on something and I have a whole cohort of people going through the exact same thing as me that I can hang out with. I do miss my friends and family sometimes but I feel so much better when I give them a call and it works for me! My point is, with all the anxiety I had leading up to this, I have adjusted wayyy better than I thought I would.

Of course, there will still be an adjustment period and there's going to be some culture shock as well, so be kind to yourself and give yourself that space. But, I think, once you develop a routine, things will be really great!

 

[pp9]

Today is my last day in the US before I leave for school and it's such a weird melancholic feeling. I assume everyone gets like this before going to vet school, but there's constantly this little voice in the back of my head telling me it could have been different, if I just tried harder I could have gotten into my instate and things could have been so much easier, ect. I know it's part of that imposter syndrome that everyone suffers from, but the finality of it all really hammers it home. All of my belongings are in boxes at my parent's house or in 3 checked bags, my beloved pets are being cared for by parents and friends until I get things sorted over there in a year or so, and so I just can't help but wonder. Everyone keeps asking and saying how excited I must be, and I am! But there's a sense of loss there too, just thinking about 'what could have been'. I don't doubt I'm making the right decision, only if I could have tried harder in the past to get a different outcome. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm there, making friends and doing the work, but I'll definitely have some part of homesickness that inevitably comes with moving away from familiar things.

I felt the exact same way going OOS and I was only 6 hours away from home. I still think about what could have been every once in a while, and I graduated in 2019. Although I guarantee you that you will do fine and have a very happy life despite not getting into your IS school, grieving what you always 'planned' for is completely normal.

On the bright side, in a few years you'll look back and be able to see how many people you've met and how many experiences you've had that you wouldn't have gotten at a US school. A lot of people would love to spend time overseas, so once the culture shock wears off you will probably be having a great time exploring and meeting people. Or as great as it can be considering it's still vet school, lol.

 

[indysadventures]

Today is my last day in the US before I leave for school and it's such a weird melancholic feeling. I assume everyone gets like this before going to vet school, but there's constantly this little voice in the back of my head telling me it could have been different, if I just tried harder I could have gotten into my instate and things could have been so much easier, ect. I know it's part of that imposter syndrome that everyone suffers from, but the finality of it all really hammers it home. All of my belongings are in boxes at my parent's house or in 3 checked bags, my beloved pets are being cared for by parents and friends until I get things sorted over there in a year or so, and so I just can't help but wonder. Everyone keeps asking and saying how excited I must be, and I am! But there's a sense of loss there too, just thinking about 'what could have been'. I don't doubt I'm making the right decision, only if I could have tried harder in the past to get a different outcome. I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm there, making friends and doing the work, but I'll definitely have some part of homesickness that inevitably comes with moving away from familiar things.

We’re here to support you, and I’m sorry you’re feeling this way! It’s really hard. I can also say I’ve felt the same feelings. Both the feeling of loss that comes from moving - moving is a time of big emotions, including grief - and that which comes from thinking about what could have been. For what it’s worth, I went back and forth between two choices and have wondered “what if?” A LOT during the months since I moved and since starting vet school. It’s made me question myself multiple times and worry that I made the wrong choice. All this to say that I think we all feel the pressures of what could have been, or the feeling of “the grass is greener at the other vet school” - it’s okay to grieve and mourn what wasn’t, but FWIW, I think the UK schools sound soooooooooo cool. I never applied to any because of my spouse, but sometimes (often) I wish I did. I can’t wait to hear about your adventures!

 

[PrincessButterCup]

Yea people are giving me **** this year about sitting in the front row on a particular side of the room. They want to sit there bc they did last year, but my friends are on that side this year and I need front row bc I'm hard of hearing. If I'm there first, I don't really understand why it's such a big deal to sit on the specific side of the room in a specific chair every time. Like, go sit on the other side! The front row is open lol. If they get there before me then I will sit on the other side. It's really not deep and this is coming from someone with anxiety who relies on routine and predictability for comfort lol

Other people have talked about getting an accommodation for seating, but I wanted to throw out my two cents about asking for more than that if you can, because I waited way too long to advocate for myself and when I finally got captioning services it literally changed my life.

My hearing disability had never been taken that seriously by my parents (they didn't want me to use a hearing aid as a kid, etc) so I was used to thinking my problems weren't "bad enough" to qualify for extra help. When I finally reached a breaking point in my last semester of undergrad, I went to the disability office not expecting much but they gave me captioning accommodations (with my audiology records from when I was 5, no less!) and it was incredible. I used captioning services all through grad school and I can't imagine getting through those courses without that help, and I have no idea how I lasted in undergrad for so long not being able to hear my professors. It was wild to compare what I thought I heard to what the captionist recorded and realize how different they were. I could tell when I couldn't hear something, but I never knew how much I was mishearing in addition to straight up missing. I think back to all of my lecture classes where I just tried my best to follow along and kick myself that I didn't realize I could have had help back then.

If your school has an option for captioning or anything beyond preferential seating and you think it *might* make a difference, I'd fully encourage you to go for it. I know disabilities are such personal things and we all experience them differently so this advice might not apply to you the same, but I wanted to share!