RANT HERE thread

Veterinary Science Graduate Programs from U. of I.
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honeypot999 said:
Sent an email establishing ground rules and I feel so bad but like I’m losing my mind
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They don't feel bad for their actions, you shouldn't feel bad for yours.

Their emergency is not your problem.

- signed, an ER vet that ain't got time for people's ****
 
how to deal with the cliques in vet school??? idk if i’m just doing something wrong but it seems that no one really likes me. i tried to join a group but they proceed to make plans in front of me but don’t invite me, avoid talking to me when we go out, one girl straight up called me ugly to my face and another called me a know it all after answering a question THEY asked me? everyone seems to have their group and i’m just kinda there … on top of that my boyfriend has been ignoring me and im just going through it …😭
 
Sorry Breezy. It can be hard. I’d say just keep trying (but not with those meanie-pants, find better peoole)…a lot of people definitely found their “group” quickly, but in my class long ago, the groups were always shifting. Fourth year I got close with a girl I seriously disliked during second year…turned out she wasn’t as bad as I thought. Does your school have any sort of communal study space? I got to know quite a few people just from being a “regular” studying in the student lounge most evenings. They weren’t necessarily in my class and we didn’t hang out away from the school, but it gave me people to talk to on study breaks and things like that.
 
Have you joined any clubs? I found I met a ton of people outside of first year by doing that. I'm not someone who makes friends super easily, but I found my small group of 2-3 people I spend a lot of time with, and I know of at least 7-10 I can meaningfully chat with between classes or at events.

As far as the girls who have been mean already, I've found the cliquey mean girls exist in every life stage, no matter how far from high school you get. In a strange way, it's helpful they showed you their true colors now so you don't waste your time on them (not that that makes it hurt less, I don't want to invalidate that). It's 100% a them problem and not a you problem.

I also frequently feel as if I'm not "socially successful" because I don't have a big group that goes out on the weekends and has fun, but I have my people, and I tend to hold those people close. It's okay if that's how you are too. You don't need a group of 12-15 people to have good friends.

Is that rambling or too many cliches? I don't know. This is your first year and people are still finding their place and their footing. I would have told you up until about February of first year that I didn't feel like I had friends at school, but those relationships were just taking some time to build. All of you have been through a massive life change and taking your time to settle in is okay. You'll find your place, it might just take a bit longer than you hope.
 
breezywonton said:
how to deal with the cliques in vet school??? idk if i’m just doing something wrong but it seems that no one really likes me. i tried to join a group but they proceed to make plans in front of me but don’t invite me, avoid talking to me when we go out, one girl straight up called me ugly to my face and another called me a know it all after answering a question THEY asked me? everyone seems to have their group and i’m just kinda there … on top of that my boyfriend has been ignoring me and im just going through it …😭
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This can be so hard. I completely understand this - cliques formed so fast at my vet school during my first year and honestly, I don't think I can say I belong perfectly in one even as a second year student. I float around a lot between friend groups. What helped me was finding some girls I liked/wanted to be friends with and intentionally hanging out with them (regardless of their clique). I also found that it helps to find friends outside of the vet school too, especially mental health wise. So you can talk about something that is not the recent drama in your class for a little bit! For example, I joined a small group at my church and have made some wonderful friends that way. Best of luck - you are not alone breezy!
 
catsandsnakes said:
crashing out over how some people during lecture just giggle and talk (to the point where people multiple rows up are turning around),, as if the people around them aren't trying to listen and learn
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These people would have been shushed so hard in my class.
 
catsandsnakes said:
crashing out over how some people during lecture just giggle and talk (to the point where people multiple rows up are turning around),, as if the people around them aren't trying to listen and learn
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100% driving me crazy that we're in a graduate level program and professors are having to tell people to be quiet so the class can hear them answer questions
 
People will legit play like tik tok or instagram videos with the volume on low as if that makes them inaudible to others 🙄 Drives me up the wall. I sit in the back because it works best for me but like, if you’re not going to pay attention, then don’t just be QUIET.
 
My f***** narcissist of a boss absolutely used me to triangulate against my coworker this morning. 'Hey ___, pp9 told me _____, can you explain yourself?' When in reality I said no such thing, boss actually asked me about the situation and I said 'Idk, why don't you ask ____?'

Oh, and she did this in a room full of people. So now I look like a conniving b****. I immediately talked to my coworker and told her I did no such thing and would not have done such a thing, but I've already been approached by one of the witnesses to this conversation who was like 'wtf pp9' so this is not good. I knew going in to this job that my boss would be a piece of work, but we just have literally no oversight by anyone else or anyone to go to who can do anything about how bad her bossing is.

Also ironic that when I finally close the chapter with my narcissist sister, my boss ramps up her narcissist behavior 100x. There is no escape.
 
AITA if I want to try to get a higher paying VA job without telling them I might be moving for vet school in July (or even May if it’s LMU- OPCVM) 😭 I have been at my current job for 2 years now and while I like the people, it’s been pretty slow and I’m underpaid. Just looking for something new! But I know if I tell this potential job that I’m going to vet school, they won’t want to hire me… It would be a $3.30 increase which I think adds up when you consider I won’t be working in vet school for the most part :’) The most difficult part would be veterinary interviews if they run into my schedule
 
purrlywhites said:
AITA if I want to try to get a higher paying VA job without telling them I might be moving for vet school in July (or even May if it’s LMU- OPCVM) 😭 I have been at my current job for 2 years now and while I like the people, it’s been pretty slow and I’m underpaid. Just looking for something new! But I know if I tell this potential job that I’m going to vet school, they won’t want to hire me… It would be a $3.30 increase which I think adds up when you consider I won’t be working in vet school for the most part :’) The most difficult part would be veterinary interviews if they run into my schedule
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I solidly feel that it's no one's business what your future plans are. And, most importantly, people's plans change. There's a slim chance that something happens and you defer for a year for whatever reason. Now you have a new job that pays better for that year.
 
With the rates of turnover for vet assistants and vet techs, no one should bat an eye at someone only planning to stay for 7-9 months. I mean half the techs and assistants at my last er clinic didn’t make it 7-9 months. There will be people who don’t like the situation, but their opinion doesn’t usually matter a whole lot. I would keep your plans to yourself, at least until you’ve onboarded and probably longer except for people who need to know.
 
pp9 said:
Also ironic that when I finally close the chapter with my narcissist sister, my boss ramps up her narcissist behavior 100x. There is no escape.
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Sorry you’re dealing with this. Issues with supervisors absolutely suck. This absolutely doesn’t help right now, but at least you’re cookin’ a little short term escape due to arrive next year? I’m mostly joking but that really is an awful position to be in.
 
JaynaAli said:
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Issues with supervisors absolutely suck. This absolutely doesn’t help right now, but at least you’re cookin’ a little short term escape due to arrive next year? I’m mostly joking but that really is an awful position to be in.
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True...although I do have concerns about whether or not one of my colleagues will take over my caseload while I'm gone and refuse to give it all back (we have a big issue with territoriality and case guarding here). Ugh.

Just one normal workplace. That's all I ask for. My husband thinks I should confront my boss and say something like "Hey, that's not how I remember our conversation going and what you said manufactured conflict and put me in a terrible position.'
 
purrlywhites said:
AITA if I want to try to get a higher paying VA job without telling them I might be moving for vet school in July (or even May if it’s LMU- OPCVM) 😭 I have been at my current job for 2 years now and while I like the people, it’s been pretty slow and I’m underpaid. Just looking for something new! But I know if I tell this potential job that I’m going to vet school, they won’t want to hire me… It would be a $3.30 increase which I think adds up when you consider I won’t be working in vet school for the most part :’) The most difficult part would be veterinary interviews if they run into my schedule
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In my opinion, if you do not have an acceptance in hand then there's no reason to tell them. You may not get in and stay longer than you think (though I hope that's not the case!). You can tell them when you get an acceptance that you appreciated the opportunity.

Over the course of the next 7-10 months, you could make an additional $4500, which is not a small amount. That can make a huge different with moving costs and such.
pp9 said:
"Hey, that's not how I remember our conversation going and what you said manufactured conflict and put me in a terrible position.'
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I agree with Mr. pp9.
 
I am so overwhelmed. Today we had our celiotomy lab, a final prep before our live surgeries. It was literally the most challenging day of my veterinary education thus far. I finally felt relatively confident in my surgical skills and the steps of the procedure, but all I received was critique. I am very thick skinned, and I like to think I take feedback well. I always know there is room for growth and I want to grow, so I am looking to hear where I can improve and constantly trying to adapt...but...I guess I couldn't take the heat today.

I don't particularly enjoy surgery, so I think getting to this point and finally feeling some confidence before I went in, made me really crash and burn when I just received critiques during the entire four hours. I'm not disagreeing with the surgeons. They weren't wrong in their critiques nor were they harsh (they were actually very kind and I appreciate them), but I left feeling like I didn't do a single thing correctly.

Finally, near the end of lab, as soon as I went to take my first intradermal bite the surgeon came over and said I did it incorrectly and I just lost it, full tears. My other two groupmates had done intradermals for the past 20 minutes and no doctor had come to correct them, and it literally felt like the weight of the world just crashed onto me in that very second. Now obviously, it wasn't a personal attack, but the timing was just like : O This comes after I had told the surgeon I really enjoy and intend to pursue internal medicine so I would never be a high quality surgeon (jokingly, of course). So, in my head, she probably thinks I don't care about surgery because its "not important to me" but that's not true. I may joke about that - but I do want to be proficient in surgery even if I don't use it. I never want to halfa** anything.

Now, my confidence is crushed, I feel like a jerk for crying and saying I had to step away, and I feel like people think I don't respond well to feedback.

Anyways, sad girl hours over. Tomorrow, we persist.
 
flotus said:
I am so overwhelmed. Today we had our celiotomy lab, a final prep before our live surgeries. It was literally the most challenging day of my veterinary education thus far. I finally felt relatively confident in my surgical skills and the steps of the procedure, but all I received was critique. I am very thick skinned, and I like to think I take feedback well. I always know there is room for growth and I want to grow, so I am looking to hear where I can improve and constantly trying to adapt...but...I guess I couldn't take the heat today.

I don't particularly enjoy surgery, so I think getting to this point and finally feeling some confidence before I went in, made me really crash and burn when I just received critiques during the entire four hours. I'm not disagreeing with the surgeons. They weren't wrong in their critiques nor were they harsh (they were actually very kind and I appreciate them), but I left feeling like I didn't do a single thing correctly.

Finally, near the end of lab, as soon as I went to take my first intradermal bite the surgeon came over and said I did it incorrectly and I just lost it, full tears. My other two groupmates had done intradermals for the past 20 minutes and no doctor had come to correct them, and it literally felt like the weight of the world just crashed onto me in that very second. Now obviously, it wasn't a personal attack, but the timing was just like : O This comes after I had told the surgeon I really enjoy and intend to pursue internal medicine so I would never be a high quality surgeon (jokingly, of course). So, in my head, she probably thinks I don't care about surgery because its "not important to me" but that's not true. I may joke about that - but I do want to be proficient in surgery even if I don't use it. I never want to halfa** anything.

Now, my confidence is crushed, I feel like a jerk for crying and saying I had to step away, and I feel like people think I don't respond well to feedback.

Anyways, sad girl hours over. Tomorrow, we persist.
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1.) don’t ever apologize for crying. It’s not something you can help. It’s your body’s reaction. Vet school teachers are used to students crying, so don’t worry about what they think. As long as you are not defensive/not willing to take feedback given, there will be no hard feelings. However, it does detract from your ability to focus, and the instructor’s ability to focus on helping you with your technique. It’s fine for this lab, but you should figure out what the trigger was this time so that hopefully it can be avoided during your live animal surgery.

2.) it sounds like you weren’t as adequately prepared as you thought you were. That’s ok too. Now you know. It’s better to figure that out now than during your live animal surgery. The thing about learning is that it’s not just about how hard you try or how much time you spent trying. You can work really hard and just learn things the wrong way. It sucks when that happens, but you’re lucky that it got caught now. Can you reach out to one of the instructors and ask for additional help? Explain that you’d worked really hard to practice ahead of time but that you struggled more than you’d expected during the celiotomy lab, and realized you’d learned to do things incorrectly. That you will practice the corrections given to you, but want to make sure you are applying them correctly and would really appreciate additional time for feedback? Were any/all of the instructors present those who teach the live animal surgery lab at your school? Ideally reach out to one of those people, and if they happen to all be really busy clinicians on the surgery service, maybe reach out to the course director of the lab you just had and they can help you or connect you. It can be really helpful to connect with the instructors you’ll have for the real surgery if you can, because then you can build a working relationship with them now and that will also help you regulate your emotions a little better during the real surgery.

3.) don’t compare yourself to others. It doesn’t matter if everyone else around you is doing well or getting praised while you are receiving corrections. It means you’re getting more meaningful feedback and getting more for your tuition dollars.
 
Minnerbelle said:
Were any/all of the instructors present those who teach the live animal surgery lab at your school? Ideally reach out to one of those people, and if they happen to all be really busy clinicians on the surgery service, maybe reach out to the course director of the lab you just had and they can help you or connect you
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@flotus, I don't know who all was in your lab yesterday, but I can look at our service schedule and tell you if someone will be on clinics or not. I'd offer to help you myself, but I'm about to be on clinics and won't have time 🙁 but I can at least help you find someone who might.
 
flotus said:
I am so overwhelmed. Today we had our celiotomy lab, a final prep before our live surgeries. It was literally the most challenging day of my veterinary education thus far. I finally felt relatively confident in my surgical skills and the steps of the procedure, but all I received was critique. I am very thick skinned, and I like to think I take feedback well. I always know there is room for growth and I want to grow, so I am looking to hear where I can improve and constantly trying to adapt...but...I guess I couldn't take the heat today.

I don't particularly enjoy surgery, so I think getting to this point and finally feeling some confidence before I went in, made me really crash and burn when I just received critiques during the entire four hours. I'm not disagreeing with the surgeons. They weren't wrong in their critiques nor were they harsh (they were actually very kind and I appreciate them), but I left feeling like I didn't do a single thing correctly.

Finally, near the end of lab, as soon as I went to take my first intradermal bite the surgeon came over and said I did it incorrectly and I just lost it, full tears. My other two groupmates had done intradermals for the past 20 minutes and no doctor had come to correct them, and it literally felt like the weight of the world just crashed onto me in that very second. Now obviously, it wasn't a personal attack, but the timing was just like : O This comes after I had told the surgeon I really enjoy and intend to pursue internal medicine so I would never be a high quality surgeon (jokingly, of course). So, in my head, she probably thinks I don't care about surgery because its "not important to me" but that's not true. I may joke about that - but I do want to be proficient in surgery even if I don't use it. I never want to halfa** anything.

Now, my confidence is crushed, I feel like a jerk for crying and saying I had to step away, and I feel like people think I don't respond well to feedback.

Anyways, sad girl hours over. Tomorrow, we persist.
Click to expand...
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way! I can relate hardcore. Our first surgery lab was probably the most difficult, confidence destroying part of vet school for me. Surgery is HARD and it’s something that comes with a lot of practice. No one is perfect their first time, and I think that’s very difficult for a lot of us type A people. It will get better though. I was so nervous on my HQHVSN rotation and by the end of it I had a lot more confidence in myself. I am also IM focused but I will say surgical skills do come in handy for certain procedures such as placing E-tubes, etc!
 
flotus said:
I am so overwhelmed. Today we had our celiotomy lab, a final prep before our live surgeries. It was literally the most challenging day of my veterinary education thus far. I finally felt relatively confident in my surgical skills and the steps of the procedure, but all I received was critique. I am very thick skinned, and I like to think I take feedback well. I always know there is room for growth and I want to grow, so I am looking to hear where I can improve and constantly trying to adapt...but...I guess I couldn't take the heat today.

I don't particularly enjoy surgery, so I think getting to this point and finally feeling some confidence before I went in, made me really crash and burn when I just received critiques during the entire four hours. I'm not disagreeing with the surgeons. They weren't wrong in their critiques nor were they harsh (they were actually very kind and I appreciate them), but I left feeling like I didn't do a single thing correctly.

Finally, near the end of lab, as soon as I went to take my first intradermal bite the surgeon came over and said I did it incorrectly and I just lost it, full tears. My other two groupmates had done intradermals for the past 20 minutes and no doctor had come to correct them, and it literally felt like the weight of the world just crashed onto me in that very second. Now obviously, it wasn't a personal attack, but the timing was just like : O This comes after I had told the surgeon I really enjoy and intend to pursue internal medicine so I would never be a high quality surgeon (jokingly, of course). So, in my head, she probably thinks I don't care about surgery because its "not important to me" but that's not true. I may joke about that - but I do want to be proficient in surgery even if I don't use it. I never want to halfa** anything.

Now, my confidence is crushed, I feel like a jerk for crying and saying I had to step away, and I feel like people think I don't respond well to feedback.

Anyways, sad girl hours over. Tomorrow, we persist.
Click to expand...
I totally know how that experience feels when you’re getting criticism and no one else is. I had the same thing happen to me in my asepsis lab earlier this year. Ultimately, I had to report the person to the head nurse so I would get fair treatment on the lab practical.

However, finding another person to give me feedback in a different way made me feel more confident. Giving suggestions vs just saying you’re doing bad is definitely what made the difference for me.
 
honeypot999 said:
I totally know how that experience feels when you’re getting criticism and no one else is. I had the same thing happen to me in my asepsis lab earlier this year. Ultimately, I had to report the person to the head nurse so I would get fair treatment on the lab practical.

However, finding another person to give me feedback in a different way made me feel more confident. Giving suggestions vs just saying you’re doing bad is definitely what made the difference for me.
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Thankfully I wasn’t being treated unfairly! They also did give me suggestions. Very fortunate to have such helpful and kind clinicians. 🙂
 
honeypot999 said:
I totally know how that experience feels when you’re getting criticism and no one else is. I had the same thing happen to me in my asepsis lab earlier this year. Ultimately, I had to report the person to the head nurse so I would get fair treatment on the lab practical.

However, finding another person to give me feedback in a different way made me feel more confident. Giving suggestions vs just saying you’re doing bad is definitely what made the difference for me.
Click to expand...
I read flotus' post a little differently. They mentioned how the surgeons were very kind with their critique and not harsh at all, but that the volume of feedback felt overwhelming in the moment. I think what they were getting at is how tough it is to keep perspective when you feel like you're not doing anything right, even when the teaching is supportive. We've all felt that way and it makes sense how surgery is no exception.
 
Days like these remind me why I'm so annoyed that so many people think zoo vets don't have to deal with the types of drama that clients bring.

Man this is a rough week. At least I have a new album to listen to :laugh:
 
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