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I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears!
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Stupid Things Your Clients Say
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I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears!
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I'm sure everyone here has dealt with the clients who demand prescription drugs for animals that haven't been seen in years. We had a real winner yesterday at our practice. The owner made an appointment for her dog's ears and called ten minutes before her scheduled time to say she couldn't make it because the dog was hiding, and she can't lift him to get in the car anyway. We explained that we could reschedule for the next day when she had help and there was a lengthy pause on the phone.
Then she started in with the whole, "can't you just GIVE me medicine? I know he has an ear infection and I don't understand why you have to SEE him!" She went on to explain how he's had an ear problem for about six MONTHS and now she "can't even get anything in there" because they're so swollen and sore and the dog hides when he sees her coming. Apparently she's tried pouring rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and neosporin in his ears and nothing works. 🙄 We again explained how legally we couldn't give prescripton drugs since we haven't seen the dog for a sick visit in two years and a well visit in three years and that if she really had a problem getting the dog to us and the condition was that bad she could call a housecall vet or arrange a (quite rare and much pricier) house visit from us. Let's just say that the response to that was...colorful.
We get those calls and questions nearly everyday and even when you couch it in terms of legality, it amazes me how many people don't get it. I always try to explain that at the very least they could be flushing their money away if we're not giving the right drug, but even that doesn't always get through. Ugh.
Then she started in with the whole, "can't you just GIVE me medicine? I know he has an ear infection and I don't understand why you have to SEE him!" She went on to explain how he's had an ear problem for about six MONTHS and now she "can't even get anything in there" because they're so swollen and sore and the dog hides when he sees her coming. Apparently she's tried pouring rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and neosporin in his ears and nothing works. 🙄 We again explained how legally we couldn't give prescripton drugs since we haven't seen the dog for a sick visit in two years and a well visit in three years and that if she really had a problem getting the dog to us and the condition was that bad she could call a housecall vet or arrange a (quite rare and much pricier) house visit from us. Let's just say that the response to that was...colorful.
We get those calls and questions nearly everyday and even when you couch it in terms of legality, it amazes me how many people don't get it. I always try to explain that at the very least they could be flushing their money away if we're not giving the right drug, but even that doesn't always get through. Ugh.
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So this wasn't a client... but yesterday I took a cab to the airport. The driver asked where I was going and such and we got on the topic that I was going to vet school. He starting going off about his cat and asking me stupid questions. He then said that one time his cat got parvo from his dog (I explained that it's impossible) and we got on the topic of FIV and he said that his cat couldn't get FIV because he had been neutered. Oh boy what smart people
This morning's gem:
Client calls: "My dog is limping. We've got pain medicine from our other dog - is it ok if we just give him that."
Me: "No. No it isn't."
*beats head on desk*
Client calls: "My dog is limping. We've got pain medicine from our other dog - is it ok if we just give him that."
Me: "No. No it isn't."
*beats head on desk*
Funny how the same anecdote can cause different reactions 🙂. I'm still horrified.
Haha to me it was indicative of the quality of the educational system in that area--and the fact that it was such a heavy agricultural area that a lot of kids never finished high school---but with this guy, although I felt bad for him, it was just too ridiculous. After he left I made eye contact with the vet (a super practical, serious guy) and he started laughing and I really just couldn't help myself. You just had to laugh because really, where would you even begin with this client? 
Not necessarily true. I worked at a mixed practice hospital in upstate New York, and I saw just as many uneducated people there as I did when I was in Texas. And Lyme is a HUGE problem in the Catskills, most of the dogs coming into our clinic tested positive. It was hard to get people to listen about vaccinating their animals/using tick medicine. I don't think geographic location has anything to do with being a "great owner". It has to do with a little thing called..money. Some people can simply afford the surgeries, vaccines, flea/tick medicine and all the various other medications needed for their animals. To me, the truly great owners were the ones that came into our clinic spending their last dollars trying to do what little they could to keep their animals healthy.
It's not just money. We see a lot of very poor clients at my clinic who have a huge love for their pets and spend what they can on their animals. Likewise there are people that have the money but don't care. Being a good owner includes financially providing medical care but there is so much more involved.
couldn't agree more...met a homeless man here in Los Angeles last week who had the sweetest dog-- I think he took better care of the dog than himself
So. True.
Client calls to get a quote on new puppy exams (physical, fecals, DA2PP, deworming, whatever) on her two Brand New Doodle Puppies. She has a FIT over the price, exclaiming "That's ridiculous! I paid a ton of money for these purebred puppies!" and demanding a multi-pet discount.
*hits head on desk repeatedly*
Client calls to get a quote on new puppy exams (physical, fecals, DA2PP, deworming, whatever) on her two Brand New Doodle Puppies. She has a FIT over the price, exclaiming "That's ridiculous! I paid a ton of money for these purebred puppies!" and demanding a multi-pet discount.
*hits head on desk repeatedly*
Agreed. When your clients have money, it's great that it opens up certain avenues of discussion. There are more options available for treatment and you have the ability to consider those options in turn. There is, however, no guarantee that there will be any willingness to listen to those options or part with said money.
We had a woman who complained that our office visit fee was outrageous (and it is pretty much dead-average compared to others in the area) and that it was ridiculous we asked to see the dog to give annually to get it up to date on vaccines. Why were we giving the vaccines? To board the dog in our hospital kennel - which is also apparently overpriced. Why were we boarding her? So she and her family could take off to the Caribbean for two weeks.
And in the same week, we had a cat come in blocked for the third time. After the emergency office visit and the procedure to unblock and catheterize the cat, the doctor discussed the possibility of PU surgery to avoid future blockages. The owners are custodians and construction workers and are nowhere near wealthy, and they were looking at a bill easily over a grand. But they went for it all the same. They're paying $100 a month until the bill is paid and couldn't be happier to have their cat back in one piece.
So, not having to worry about money when presenting a plan of action to a client is great. But people's reactions will always surprise you.
We had a woman who complained that our office visit fee was outrageous (and it is pretty much dead-average compared to others in the area) and that it was ridiculous we asked to see the dog to give annually to get it up to date on vaccines. Why were we giving the vaccines? To board the dog in our hospital kennel - which is also apparently overpriced. Why were we boarding her? So she and her family could take off to the Caribbean for two weeks.
And in the same week, we had a cat come in blocked for the third time. After the emergency office visit and the procedure to unblock and catheterize the cat, the doctor discussed the possibility of PU surgery to avoid future blockages. The owners are custodians and construction workers and are nowhere near wealthy, and they were looking at a bill easily over a grand. But they went for it all the same. They're paying $100 a month until the bill is paid and couldn't be happier to have their cat back in one piece.
So, not having to worry about money when presenting a plan of action to a client is great. But people's reactions will always surprise you.
Agreed, agreed. Just because someone DOES have money does not mean they're willing to spend it on their animals, but it certainly makes it easier for them when emergencies do come up. That's why I said a good owner, in my opinion, does the best that they can for their animal with what they've got. I saw clients paying for medication with the last crumpled dollars from their pockets. I just really don't like it when people make biased opinions about others based on geographic location. It's a serious pet peeve of mine...being from Texas and having lived in New York for close to five years, I encountered it a lot, and I just don't understand it.
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A client gave her diabetic cat 8 units of Glargine insulin over the course of a recent evening, *in addition* to the 2 he was supposed to get, because the cat wasn't acting right. The cat presents seizuring...and the following transpires:
Client: "I figured I couldn't kill him by giving him more insulin."
DVM: "See, that's where you're wrong..."
Client: "I figured I couldn't kill him by giving him more insulin."
DVM: "See, that's where you're wrong..."
Someone started talking to me yesterday about having their dog "sprayed" so it wouldn't have offspring. Maybe they were thinking it was some nifty new product, like: "Frontline Triumvirate: The Scientifically-proven Spray that Protects Your Pet From Fleas, Ticks, and Puppies!"
Just to clarify, I wasn't saying that people in different geographic locations or socioeconomic status make better/worse owners. You have jackasses and saints everywhere. That being said, you can't ignore that you have more issues (from a pet overpopulation/shelter perspective) in certain locations compared to others for a variety of reasons.
It's kind of like with education. You can't deny that some states have better public school systems in general than others. That doesn't mean that there aren't differences between counties, individual schools, etc... and most importantly, that doesn't mean that people who live in ____ state are all uneducated.
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I've seen several clients pay for transfusions to treat their pets' flea anemia. A transfusion costs a *minimum* of $700 and that's if we send him home immediately after the transfusion. Forgetting about keeping the dog/cat on flea prevention year round, a dose of Advantage or Frontline applied when the animal had a moderate flea infestation would have cost less than $20 and entirely prevented the need for a transfusion. I can understand how being flat broke can happen, but I don't understand coming up with $700 when you couldn't spring for $20.
^^^This. It isn't recent, but I remember a specific case where a horse's teeth had been neglected for so long that some of his teeth were rotting out of his head (literally). The people didn't have a lot of money, so the vet took pity on the poor horse and fixed him up charging minimally. They got put on a payment plan, but paid some of it upfront, and that amount they were able to come up with was more than the cost of a regular float. Makes me angry actually.
A dumber one is where a woman had owned her horse for 18 years and the gelding had never had his "bean" removed. That thing was rock solid and the size of a walnut when it came out. No wonder the horse had trouble peeing.
This was probably one of our most frustrating clients last summer:
We had a guy adopt a puppy from the shelter, after his previous dog had died of parvo. He takes the dog home, puts it in the same exact cage/kennel, takes it out to go to the bathroom in the same yard, etc etc. About a week later, the dog comes in presenting with V/D. So we test, and what do you know, the dog has parvo. After about 1 week of intensive (IV antibiotics, fluid therapy, oral antibiotics, might've even gotten some tamiflu in on it, not sure), and definitely expensive care, the guy decides that he can no longer afford it, and needs to take the dog home. As I'm walking the dog out to the car (in full disposable gown, gloves, footies, etc), the guy asks me"...Is parvo contagious?"
I was flabbergasted! I gave him the benefit of the doubt "You mean to humans? No, humans can't get parvo, they can just transmit it"
"no, I mean, to other dogs"
"Yes, if an unvaccinated dog is exposed to parvo, they are at risk of contracting it. If they are exposed to an environment where another dog was sick with parvo, they are at risk, clean with bleach, etc etc"
I just could not believe that it took over a week of the doctors talking to him every day about the dog's condition, etc, for it to dawn on him.
We had a guy adopt a puppy from the shelter, after his previous dog had died of parvo. He takes the dog home, puts it in the same exact cage/kennel, takes it out to go to the bathroom in the same yard, etc etc. About a week later, the dog comes in presenting with V/D. So we test, and what do you know, the dog has parvo. After about 1 week of intensive (IV antibiotics, fluid therapy, oral antibiotics, might've even gotten some tamiflu in on it, not sure), and definitely expensive care, the guy decides that he can no longer afford it, and needs to take the dog home. As I'm walking the dog out to the car (in full disposable gown, gloves, footies, etc), the guy asks me"...Is parvo contagious?"
I was flabbergasted! I gave him the benefit of the doubt "You mean to humans? No, humans can't get parvo, they can just transmit it"
"no, I mean, to other dogs"
"Yes, if an unvaccinated dog is exposed to parvo, they are at risk of contracting it. If they are exposed to an environment where another dog was sick with parvo, they are at risk, clean with bleach, etc etc"
I just could not believe that it took over a week of the doctors talking to him every day about the dog's condition, etc, for it to dawn on him.
Haha!
I tell this story to pretty much everyone. We had this dachshund come into our clinic with bladder stones. After we performed surgery to remove them, the owner wanted to know if she could keep the bladder stones so that she could use them as beads and make a necklace out of them.
PUKE
I tell this story to pretty much everyone. We had this dachshund come into our clinic with bladder stones. After we performed surgery to remove them, the owner wanted to know if she could keep the bladder stones so that she could use them as beads and make a necklace out of them.
PUKE
It's the nasty wad of gunk that builds up in a male horse's sheath. It can get uncomfortable for them.
and the smell is something AWFUL to behold...blegh!! Once it gets on your hands it stays there for at least a million years. I have vowed to either only own mares or always have a teenager around who is willing to make a couple bucks to clean sheaths. 🙂
I originally vowed to never clean a sheath but then realized that vet school would probably make me break that. 😉
Mmmm, smegma.
When I taught a horsemanship course at my college's barn, we used to make the first-years do all the sheath cleaning as part of the course. Bwahaha. The tradition continues - anyone who's had to do that and goes on to teach the course makes sure to pass along the lesson. 😉 The barn I'm at now pays the vet to do all the boys, which is a little ridiculous but I'm not arguing!we have one client who, when he brings his rabbit in for an incisor trimming, always asks for the clippings. I think he makes weird art out of them...
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Haha. That reminds me, once we had a guy bring in his dead GSD because he wanted us to remove his canine teeth so he could make a necklace out of them.
We had a Ridgeback come in for a nail trim. The tech went to clean up the trimmings and the client stopped her saying "leave them, he likes to eat them for treats." Somehow, the tech had the presence of mind to say to her "hey, it's pretty cool that he grows his own treats." We were ROFL about that one for a while!
Lol, we've had that happen before. Though in their defense, at a 1 doctor practice I briefly shadowed with (me and the vet didn't get along; I was literally asked to not come back because I didn't 'smile enough') he would negotiate with clients on bills. Like if one of them had a lawn mowing business, he'd go "Ok, you mow my lawn for X weeks in exchange for your bill."
Not a client, but the other day my bf called me to ask me a question about this dog at his job (he's an in house aide for a boy with cerebral palsy).
here's the exchange:
me: well does the dog look uncomfortable?
him: I don't know, I mean it has anxiety problems, it follows me around all day long and always wants to sit in my lap (it's a toy poodle).
me: *facepalm* That doesn't mean he has anxiety issues...
He *likes* dogs... he just doesn't *get* them.
here's the exchange:
me: well does the dog look uncomfortable?
him: I don't know, I mean it has anxiety problems, it follows me around all day long and always wants to sit in my lap (it's a toy poodle).
me: *facepalm* That doesn't mean he has anxiety issues...
He *likes* dogs... he just doesn't *get* them.
Yeah the 2 doctors that own the hospital do that too with dental stuff, contractors, etc. But they've all been really good clients for a while, or the doctors have used their services for a while. It's always exchange of services, never for products.
haha, my dog was like that. she'd growl while you were cutting her nails. but then would stop when you got a piece of the trimming and popped it in her mouth before moving onto the next nail. it was like "grrrrr" "sniff sniff... num num" "grrrrrrrr" "sniff sniff... num num"
A friend once traded a horse to her vet in exchange for a vet bill.
Worst deal EVER for the vet!
My old equine vet hired me to work off my vet bills. Great experience, and he paid me more than he probably should have. And it was tons of fun. I don't think I could have paid him to take either of my horses though. They're the reason I've been broke forever!
Someone did a barter with a vet I knew awhile ago... but their dog had two expensive surgical procedures, and was grumpy the vet insisted on it being of higher value than his services. In addition to the client's services, he also paid cash as well, which I think upset them because it wasn't an even trade. Probably not ideal bartering practices...
Yesterday, I heard a client say "I diagnosed it on Google" regarding her horse's lameness.
Best thing I've heard a client say.
Best thing I've heard a client say.
I have had two weird things recently from clients:
1. Called client about dog who is overdue for vaccines. Client responds with, "Well, I think she is pregnant." Looking at account I see another dog on the account it is a golden retriever that is slightly older than a year. I ask if that is who the female breed with (female is a 30 pound cocker spaniel so I am thinking mom will have a hard time getting the puppies to full term) The client responds with, "Yeah, we think he got her pregnant, it would have happened around the end of May; we just didn't think his testicles would drop that quickly."
2. Lady comes in with cat who she claims has "bugs" around his rectum. We look around there and do not see anything. We think the cat is expressing its anal glands and that is what she is seeing "coming out through the holes". Lady comes back in a few days later with baggies that have the "bugs" in it. We look at the "stuff" in the baggies and none of it is bugs. So the vet goes in and asks the lady to show him what she is doing and seeing. In the end, it turns out that she happens to be messing around and pressing on the cat's rear so much that she is seeing the holes to the anal sacs and as she is pressing she happens to express the glands, which she thinks is "bugs" and that is what was in the plastic baggies....a bunch of anal gland juice.
1. Called client about dog who is overdue for vaccines. Client responds with, "Well, I think she is pregnant." Looking at account I see another dog on the account it is a golden retriever that is slightly older than a year. I ask if that is who the female breed with (female is a 30 pound cocker spaniel so I am thinking mom will have a hard time getting the puppies to full term) The client responds with, "Yeah, we think he got her pregnant, it would have happened around the end of May; we just didn't think his testicles would drop that quickly."
2. Lady comes in with cat who she claims has "bugs" around his rectum. We look around there and do not see anything. We think the cat is expressing its anal glands and that is what she is seeing "coming out through the holes". Lady comes back in a few days later with baggies that have the "bugs" in it. We look at the "stuff" in the baggies and none of it is bugs. So the vet goes in and asks the lady to show him what she is doing and seeing. In the end, it turns out that she happens to be messing around and pressing on the cat's rear so much that she is seeing the holes to the anal sacs and as she is pressing she happens to express the glands, which she thinks is "bugs" and that is what was in the plastic baggies....a bunch of anal gland juice.
While a lot of these are really funny keep in mind that at one point or another YOU didn't know ANY of this either.
You didn't know vet terms or how to properly say or use them, you didn't know diseases and how they were transmitted, you didn't know any of this stuff and at some point had to learn it. Just because you learned it when you were 15 and volunteering at a clinic doesn't mean that every 50 year old should know it or they are stupid. Imagine the stuff you don't know about... say... mechanics. It doesn't mean you are stupid that you don't know what is basic knowledge for a mechanic, it just means you never learned it anywhere.
Sorry but making fun of clients if kind of a pet peeve of mine.. sometimes 😉. Now- when you tell a lady TEN times that the baby *wild animal* she found and wants to keep as pet could have *virus* or *parasite* that could KILL her or her family members and she STILL calls the next week and says "is it possible that my *animal* could carry *virus*? Did you know that they have a *parasite* that could kill a person?" That is super annoying. We even discussed transmission and had an interactive conversation about it! (things are ** because this is one of the internet owners who knows everything b/c she looked it up on the internet and I'm pretty sure she would find this if I left more info...)
You didn't know vet terms or how to properly say or use them, you didn't know diseases and how they were transmitted, you didn't know any of this stuff and at some point had to learn it. Just because you learned it when you were 15 and volunteering at a clinic doesn't mean that every 50 year old should know it or they are stupid. Imagine the stuff you don't know about... say... mechanics. It doesn't mean you are stupid that you don't know what is basic knowledge for a mechanic, it just means you never learned it anywhere.
Sorry but making fun of clients if kind of a pet peeve of mine.. sometimes 😉. Now- when you tell a lady TEN times that the baby *wild animal* she found and wants to keep as pet could have *virus* or *parasite* that could KILL her or her family members and she STILL calls the next week and says "is it possible that my *animal* could carry *virus*? Did you know that they have a *parasite* that could kill a person?" That is super annoying. We even discussed transmission and had an interactive conversation about it! (things are ** because this is one of the internet owners who knows everything b/c she looked it up on the internet and I'm pretty sure she would find this if I left more info...)
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I agree with this. What all comes second nature to us is very, very foreign thought process to others. My boyfriend read some of these posts over my shoulder the other night and learned some things, and he's had dogs his whole life. It's a sad fact that most pet owners don't know head from tail about their animal's health...
This is my favorite story from our clinic. We have quite a few crazies, but this is just the best barter story ever. This lady comes in, extremely frantic with a pregnant cat that was just hit by a car. We give her options, which included surgery and mostly likely abortion or euthanasia.
She goes on to give this sad story about how the cat is her husbands who has been locked up for five years and all he ever says during visits is how he can't wait to get out to see his cat and now he was so excited she was gonna have kittens. Just to make it worse, he was getting out that day! the cat got hit while she was on her way to pick him up
.
So, obviously, she begs us to save the cat and the kittens, but explains how they have no money for the surgery for the hospitalization, but really thinks we should do the surgery for free, etc...and that she can give us this guitar which is worth hundreds of dollars and was her husbands father's blah blah blah. So long story short...We managed to save the mom and two of the kittens and she brings the guitar in....I wish I had a picture, but it is a first act (read: wal-mart brand) with an amp *built-in* no strings and the pick-ups were missing, it even smelled like urine 😕.
Afterwards, the clinic owner took the guitar to have it framed in a shadow box and hung it above the associates desk who took the trade
She goes on to give this sad story about how the cat is her husbands who has been locked up for five years and all he ever says during visits is how he can't wait to get out to see his cat and now he was so excited she was gonna have kittens. Just to make it worse, he was getting out that day! the cat got hit while she was on her way to pick him up
.So, obviously, she begs us to save the cat and the kittens, but explains how they have no money for the surgery for the hospitalization, but really thinks we should do the surgery for free, etc...and that she can give us this guitar which is worth hundreds of dollars and was her husbands father's blah blah blah. So long story short...We managed to save the mom and two of the kittens and she brings the guitar in....I wish I had a picture, but it is a first act (read: wal-mart brand) with an amp *built-in* no strings and the pick-ups were missing, it even smelled like urine 😕.
Afterwards, the clinic owner took the guitar to have it framed in a shadow box and hung it above the associates desk who took the trade
I'm a pharmacist. I was working in retail pharmacy during an Olympics, and while dispensing prednisolone for a child with an asthma flare, told her mother that it was a steroid and the mom totally freaked out! I explained that steroids have many uses, most of them beneficial, and no, this one would not make her toddler develop giant muscles.
They eat their placentas; what's the difference?
A few of my favorites:
Lady comes in with a HUGE pyrenees and rottweiler mix. It is terribly overweight and it keeps gaining weight. She says she can't figure out why he's gaining weight. The doctor asks her what she is feeding the dog and she replies "well, he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream every day but I don't think that's it."
I wasn't here for this one but the Doctor I am currently working for said a lady came in for her dog to be examined. When she put it on the table it turned out the dog had been dead, for quite some time no-less. When the doctor told her it was dead she flipped out and told him it wasn't. She ended up taking the dead dog to another vet, and getting the same verdict that it was dead. She had to be escorted out by the police at the second clinic because she went crazy after the "2nd opinion."
And one today that is kind of funny. A lady asked if her dog could get hemorrhoids because she said "she's too fat to lick her butt these days."
Lady comes in with a HUGE pyrenees and rottweiler mix. It is terribly overweight and it keeps gaining weight. She says she can't figure out why he's gaining weight. The doctor asks her what she is feeding the dog and she replies "well, he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream every day but I don't think that's it."
I wasn't here for this one but the Doctor I am currently working for said a lady came in for her dog to be examined. When she put it on the table it turned out the dog had been dead, for quite some time no-less. When the doctor told her it was dead she flipped out and told him it wasn't. She ended up taking the dead dog to another vet, and getting the same verdict that it was dead. She had to be escorted out by the police at the second clinic because she went crazy after the "2nd opinion."
And one today that is kind of funny. A lady asked if her dog could get hemorrhoids because she said "she's too fat to lick her butt these days."
