Today it was made official that I will not be attending school in the fall. I had a meeting regarding the infamous exam which consisted of me arguing a one sided battle
Why is this marked wrong? Thats what the answer key said. OoooKkkkk
After several minutes of looking to find a wall to beat my head against, I gave up. Although the department head was quite nice to me (amazing how peoples tunes change when they find out you really can speak intelligently upon a subject) and did take my opinions towards the exam into consideration, there really wasnt anything to be done. Rules are rules; and thats that. The wonderful folks at OK State said they would be there for future applications and whatnot in a beyond kind response to my informing them officially of my fail. But, no matter how kind, I fear that this is yet another empty promise from a veterinary institution; sadly making it clear to me that its likely time for me to consider another line of work.
At this point I am broken; and as much as I would like to say that in time I will persevere, there are so many things that point to my letting go of this as a good thing regardless of how much it may hurt. You see, unlike many non-trads, I have no other career to fall back on, no former life of greatness that I chose to leave behind to finally do something to make me happy, no relationship, no equity, no retirement, no savings, zip. I gave it up about ten years ago to follow the crazy notion that I would, some day, reach the brass ring. Sure, I could suck it up, take the class, and reapply. But I already have a notion of what will happen because Ive been there done that. Every time Ive applied over the past eight years I have fixed what they wanted only to have them find a different reason to reject me the next time around
The applicant pool was stronger this cycle
X course is now too old
The average GRE was higher this cycle
Our requirements have changed
Youre not mature enough for a professional education
Yes, Ive heard them all. Im just so tired of hearing how great I am in one sentence and how Im simply not good enough in the next: Your experience is unprecedented, your background incredible and your skills top-notch, but...
Add to this that Ive been overworked, underpaid, and had my work ethic abused in the field for more than a decade now. Ive grown increasingly tired of having a crap load of responsibility while watching my peers sit on their asses counting ceiling tiles with no consequences seen. Additionally, in my current position, my attending is such a dim bulb that I have to save her at least twice a week in diagnostic work, treatment planning, and/or surgical intervention. It amazes me that she has yet to walk in front of a bus; but shes got a DVM and makes three times my salary. Yes, I firmly admit to being bitter; and I cannot foresee me spending the rest of my life being the babysitter. This is the second time Ive done this (the last time the institution discovered that the individual lied about being boarded) and it just reminds me that theres something about me that the schools refuse to see past. Although most continue to blame it on my undergraduate education that began nearly 20 years ago, I strongly believe that not to be the case. Perhaps Im too strong willed, perhaps I have too much time in and they know I cannot be reprogrammed. Who knows? Maybe if I were 10 years younger I would see this in a different way; but right now I cannot. Rather, I feel its time for me to look deep within to find out where I belong in this world. I dont consider it giving up; rather I consider it facing reality.
Please know I appreciate everything that everyone here on SDN has done for me over the past couple of years. And, I would like to send a special thanks to those of you who said such kind supportive words to me last week when I discovered that it was highly likely that the end was near. Without the support of this forum, this cycle would have been simply heinous for me given that I kept it so very secret from those closest to me (for good reason). Also, coming back this time around has afforded me the opportunity to say that I may count a good number of you here on this forum amongst my friends. You have been an unrelenting board of support to me; and I will never be able to repay the kindness that you have afforded to me during my time here. Youre an amazing group of people; and I know that the profession will be better with you in it. However, if I am unable to join you amongst the ranks, I fear that I will only become increasingly bitter which wouldnt be fair to any of you as I feel you all deserve nothing but admiration. So, at least for now, Im going to take some time away and see where the world takes me.
Please, everyone, be well; and continue to show kindness and support to one another. This group contains a rare gift closeness and understanding amongst anonymity. Please, never, ever take it for granted.
)^GOOGLE] 
Hope you hear some good stuff, seems like they're very proactive in figuring out this miscommunication.
