Aaand the other end of the spectrum - the drug-seeking missile from Down-Under.
Excerpt:
"Basically [OP's arrested friend] has been visiting doctor clinics and somehow (don’t ask me how you do this and get away with it) he’s been leaving these clinics with blank prescription paper. Legit doctor script paper. Out of their printers or drawers or something, I don’t know.
Then he’s got a legit script from that doc for an antibiotic or a cough, or something, I don’t really know,. And doing this: (for the love for God don’t EVER attempt to do this, he’s facing jail time for this).
Scanning a piece of blank legitimate prescription paper into Microsoft Word, adding text boxes and copying the clinic, prescriber and formatting details onto the blank scan, and then literally typing in whatever medication he wants, including the dose, quantity, how to take it (1 QID PRN) for example, and then putting the blank script paper in the printer and literally printing his own scripts. He’s then been practicing the docs signature and if necessary, handwriting the medicine if it’s something controlled (of Schedule 8)."
I want to preface this with the fact that this is 100% a true story, and is not a “SWIM” or whatever you call it story, this is a guy I know that I am really ****ing concerned for. Let’s just say I got mate today who has really outdone himself. He’s a drug dependent person, good bloke, just crazy hooked on prescription pills. Benzos and opiates especially. He doctor shops, he tries his luck through people he knows – he will do anything to get a fix of some oxy or any type of benzo under the sun.
I knew he was doctor shopping. I knew he was getting lots of scripts or sometimes going to hospitals presenting with fake pain to score even a single Endone tablet (oxy 5mg IR) and hope the ED doctor would send him home with a hospital script. I feel for the dude in a sense because I know deep down he’s a smart guy and he admits he has a problem, he just doesn’t want to seem to do anything about it.
Well. Last night I got a call from the local police station, it was my mate. He wanted me to go down to the station with him because he had a search warrant executed and was arrested and taken in for questioning. Now this baffled me a bit. He’s smart. He keeps his drug addiction fairly close to his chest apart from myself and maybe his partner, I don’t know. But I found out he has a court date impending and I just stared blankly at him when he started talking and telling the cops what he’d been up to.
Okay, so in Aus we have greenish prescription paper that doctors run through the printer when they’re prescribing you a medicine. There’s a fair bit of info on there, there’s the clinic, the phone and fax number, the doctor details, the docs prescriber number, Medicare and concession card details, medication details, dates, signatures, qualifications, the works. For controlled drugs there’s also hand written drug names, strengths and quantities. They’re fairly comprehensive.
My mate is going to court in about a month facing 12 charges of forgery, fraud, attempted fraud, stealing and possession of dangerous drugs (pharmas in this case).
Basically he’s been visiting doctor clinics and somehow (don’t ask me how you do this and get away with it) he’s been leaving these clinics with blank prescription paper. Legit doctor script paper. Out of their printers or drawers or something, I don’t know.
Then he’s got a legit script from that doc for an antibiotic or a cough, or something, I don’t really know,. And doing this: (for the love for God don’t EVER attempt to do this, he’s facing jail time for this).
Scanning a piece of blank legitimate prescription paper into Microsoft Word, adding text boxes and copying the clinic, prescriber and formatting details onto the blank scan, and then literally typing in whatever medication he wants, including the dose, quantity, how to take it (1 QID PRN) for example, and then putting the blank script paper in the printer and literally printing his own scripts. He’s then been practicing the docs signature and if necessary, handwriting the medicine if it’s something controlled (of Schedule 8).
The paper comes out, it’s perforated, it’s the right colour, and it’s presented to a pharmacy and 12 times they’ve dispensed the medicine because he had the right doctor prescriber number and is medically smart enough to know the lingo they use when they’re explaining how and when to take it (one example they showed him which I saw was one he’d done for temazepam, and it said 1 PO nocte PRN (Google told me that means one by mouth at night if needed).
He is in serious serious ****. I am so baffled as to how he got his hands on legitimate doctor’s script paper and copied the bunk antibiotic or whatever, and literally just printed his own scripts that were actually dispensed. He’s walked out of chemists with Kalma 2mg (alprazolam), OxyNorm capsules, boxes of Valium, Hypnodorm (flunitrazepam), fentanyl..... Like anything he wanted he just formatted a ****ing word document and somehow had proper Medicare prescription paper printing out of his home computer.
Like me and this dude go so far back, but honestly this has got me so mentally ****ed up its not even funny. What the ****?!
Is this the most resourceful/talented seeker you've ever seen?
I'm from Australia, and I'm calling BS on this, or at least an incredible amount of exaggeration. In regards to getting hold of a prescription pad or paper, that part at least is believable. However apart from the Valium all of the other medications listed are schedule 8 drugs and generally speaking require an authority to prescribe, which means you have to call your state's department of health, or equivalent, and have them give you an authorisation number to be printed on the script before it will be dispensed - these aren't the sorts of scripts any bozo can just do themselves. Even in the case where a Doctor is allowed to prescribe a small, limited amount of opiates, chances are if the chemist has never seen you before, or never seen you with that type of a script, they will phone the surgery and double check that the script is legit. So I highly, highly doubt whoever this person was that he was just writing himself out scripts for Rohypnol, Xanax, and so on, willy nilly and getting away with it, unless he somehow managed to find the world's dumbest pharmacist.
I'm sorry I laughed as hard as I did at this. It reminds me of this story my mom told me about when she was 13 and visiting hot springs in California. The women's changing room has no stalls or separators, so everyone changes out in the open, and there are always tons of little old naked ladies wandering around. But the worst thing she ever saw was this little old lady, probably in her mid 80s, with saggy sacs that were all stretched out, enough so that they hung to just above the navel. And so this little old lady seriously just takes a tit in hand and rolls it up to where boobs should be and tucks it into her bra, then proceeds to do the same to the other. Seems like a good way to get this sort of injury!
Iron fist is a Netflix superhero show and pretty early on he ends up in a mental hospital claiming he has powers but is unable to “gather his chi” to show them. Pretty good show.
Man I completely disagree. I love the MCU, and Daredevil on Netflix is one of my favorites, but Iron Fist is a steaming pile of garbage. Some of the worst acting I have seen, plot holes left right center, the main character also was so miscasted it is unbelievable.
Man I completely disagree. I love the MCU, and Daredevil on Netflix is one of my favorites, but Iron Fist is a steaming pile of garbage. Some of the worst acting I have seen, plot holes left right center, the main character also was so miscasted it is unbelievable.
1) Jessica Jones (either season)
2) Daredevil season 1
3) Luke Cage
4) Daredevil season 2
5) Defenders
6) Iron Fist
MCU works on the charisma of its heroes (and is occasionally great because of the Villians). The actor playing Danny is a yawning void where charisma goes to die after a long and debilitating illness. I’m not sure quite how they managed to screw up magic ninjas as villians but with the exception of the Chinese woman the Hand notably worsened every scene that featured it.
1) Jessica Jones (either season)
2) Daredevil season 1
3) Luke Cage
4) Daredevil season 2
5) Defenders
6) Iron Fist
MCU works on the charisma of its heroes (and is occasionally great because of the Villians). The actor playing Danny is a yawning void where charisma goes to die after a long and debilitating illness. I’m not sure quite how they managed to screw up magic ninjas as villians but with the exception of the Chinese woman the Hand notably worsened every scene that featured it.
Danny was definitely not charismatic and more of an annoying child at times, but if you really didn't pay too much attention it was enjoyable. Luke was just a boring character with a boring story. I feel like they could've done so much more with both but they ended up feeling more like a more faded background story. The Punisher was ok. The whole military background and scenes they showed were so incredibly cheesy it was hard to enjoy at best and cringey at worst. If we're breaking it down I would say:
1) Jessica Jones
2)Daredevil season 1
3) Defenders
4) Daredevil season 2
5) The Punisher
6) Iron Fist
7) Luke Cage
Respectfully this once great thread has been completely gutted by non-provider anecdotes and has been for a couple of years. It’s basically our mini version of the Lounge.
If you are caught on national TV doing coke on the beach during spring break (srsly) by all means yell at the ER staff that your tachycardia was induced by the bad spicy food you ate , then try to bite the attending when she asks you if you took any medication. This guarantees extra special care for your vodka-reeking psychotic self.
Respectfully this once great thread has been completely gutted by non-provider anecdotes and has been for a couple of years. It’s basically our mini version of the Lounge.
Typing out non-EM docs, nurses, NPs, PAs, EMS anecdotes seemed more cumbersome than needed. My main gripe was the layperson, usually written in first person, stories that features run of the mill carelessness not the epic stupidity that we face. This thread used to be the equivalent of what happens whenever you get EM types together and supply alcohol. We tell war stories that in any other profession would be made up or exaggerated. More of the “plowing through a forest at night on an ATV at fullspeed while drunk and high and encountering the neighbor’s barbed wire fence” and less of the “I had a hangnail that got infected and I waited too long to get it looked at and my hand pussed out”.
We only have doctors , students and pharmacists over there (thankfully). Pharmacists stick to their own corner since they actually respect us. So we're docs and students over here - quite a brotherly bunch if I may say so.
My main gripe was the layperson, usually written in first person, stories that features run of the mill carelessness not the epic stupidity that we face.
Like a sweet old soccer mom denying taking any medication or having any prior condition and then when ask about the sleep pattern (I was suspecting being BSes) you get a gem like "oh I can only sleep if I take my diazepam" .... <- me
When the overworked and distracted community health center pharmacist fills your Hydrocortisone 10mg TID bottle with Hydrochlorothiazide 25mg pills, you’re going to have a bad week before someone figures it out...
Not in medicine, which I know is a gripe of many of you, but bear with me, this is good.
Ex-housemate in his late 20s with Type 2 Diabetes, High BP, and High Cholesterol. Was all stable when he moved in, didn't really cause any problems. Other housemates and I actually forgot about his health stuff.
Sitting in the lounge with the 2 other housemates one night and this guy emerges from his room (where he pretty much hermitted 23 hours a day) complaining of a headache and some nausea. Apparently he had also taken it upon himself to call an ambulance.
Got an update from him a bit later saying that his BP, diabetes, and cholesterol were all out of whack. Based on suspicions aroused by his ongoing hermitting and having never seen the guy walk further than 20 metres or eat anything remotely healthy, another housemate and I take a peek around his bedroom door. Pepsi bottles and empty dorito packets for carpet. Basically prolonged suicide for someone with his history.
So housemate gets home a few hours later, bitching because all they gave him was a few panadol for the headache, some insulin, and instructions to take his damn meds. Turns out the idiot had been rationing his medication! Claimed that he couldn't afford the $5-$6 per prescription so he was only taking his various medications every few days.
Somehow managed to afford copious amounts of pepsi and doritos though
Needless to say, as a frequent flyer to Emergency for conditions outside my control, I made it clear to this ***** that I wasn't impressed at his antics that resulted in him taking a bed.
Last I heard, he was still alive and still has all his limbs. No idea how.
EMS buddy told me he recently ran a funny call. 20 something was arguing with his teenage nephew about some money and cell phone. He said what are you going to do, stab me. Well, the nephew returned a few minutes later and stabbed him.
Don't give crazy impressionable teens any ideas when they're pissed at you.
EMS buddy told me he recently ran a funny call. 20 something was arguing with his teenage nephew about some money and cell phone. He said what are you going to do, stab me. Well, the nephew returned a few minutes later and stabbed him.
Don't give crazy impressionable teens any ideas when they're pissed at you.
Picking up a few shifts on the ambulance between graduation and starting my TRI since I'm still licensed as a Paramedic.
If your family unceremoniously dumps you off at another relatives house, then gleefully videos themselves burning your clothes and smashing your insulin bottles, posting the whole thing on Facebook, you will have another stroke. This one will affect your good side and leave you aphasic. All they could verbalize was a god-awful cry. Code Stroke on arrival, Tele-neuro consult, and 45 minutes later, another high-speed ambulance trip to the academic medical center 2 hours up the road.
Picking up a few shifts on the ambulance between graduation and starting my TRI since I'm still licensed as a Paramedic.
If your family unceremoniously dumps you off at another relatives house, then gleefully videos themselves burning your clothes and smashing your insulin bottles, posting the whole thing on Facebook, you will have another stroke. This one will affect your good side and leave you aphasic. All they could verbalize was a god-awful cry. Code Stroke on arrival, Tele-neuro consult, and 45 minutes later, another high-speed ambulance trip to the academic medical center 2 hours up the road.
From the veterinary side:
Today I learned that the best treatment for a dog's otitis externa is witch hazel extract, applied liberally to the inside of the ear. Nevermind that apparently that stings a heckuva lot based on the owner's description of the dog's reaction.
Also, apparently feeding your dog a clove of garlic a day will keep away fleas. I agree only by the fact that there will be no blood for the fleas OR the dog after that.
Long time no see. But I have a great example of legit 10/10 via my dad. It's when you are literally writhing with pain on the floor of ER, pass out for a few seconds, and the staff are breaking out the crash cart because his BP and Pulse are insane.
Best part? My dad walk out of ER an hour later just fine. The staff seemed annoyed. Heck, my dad was annoyed that he was in so much pain and it was nothing. Best they can tell a small part of his intestine got pinched for whatever reason, caused horrible pain, and then slipped right back into place. Most likely due to the writhing in pain. Oh and after suffering from it a few more times with less intensity over the course of a few weeks, you don't suffer from them again.
Little background on me:
Not medical, but between Wilderness First Aid/First Responder, years as a ski instructor, and all the nifty stuff I learned on my way to Eagle Scout, I’ve seen - and worked on - my share of backcountry blues.
1) If the water looks clear, there is no chance of getting giardia, and you shouldn’t bother with your filter/purification tablets. When the rest of the group has to stop for you to empty your bowels every hour or so for the next week, it’s their fault for undercooking the food.
2) Legit advice - two coats, stuffed with most of your clothes and tied tightly around the leg, makes for a decent impromptu splint.
3) We all giggle about sharing a sleeping bag naked to treat hypothermia - it’s not so funny when you actually have to do it. Especially when the patient is a mildly obese, overly-fragrant male. Layers are important, kids.
4) One from the frontcountry - when getting on a transatlantic flight to France, it is a good idea to take tranquillizers, then wash them down in-flight with most of a bottle of wine and some vodka. When you collapse on your tenth trip to the bathroom in as many minutes, The poor Eagle Scout two rows behind you, a trauma nurse, and an EMT will have to work on you for the next three hours until you land, and then hold up the flight while French EMS comes down the aisle with the stretcher.
Huge props to all you properly in EM - you pick up where I leave off!
How do you fix that? I would imagine putting acetone up the urethra would be.... irritating. Or do you just give the poor guy a local, and apply the acetone?
How do you fix that? I would imagine putting acetone up the urethra would be.... irritating. Or do you just give the poor guy a local, and apply the acetone?
I would try soaking it in water to see if the glue separates enough to allow him to pee. Having used superglue for a small cut before, water and movement makes it come off much quicker than medical skin glue. Suprapubic cath until it comes off is another option.
I would try soaking it in water to see if the glue separates enough to allow him to pee. Having used superglue for a small cut before, water and movement makes it come off much quicker than medical skin glue. Suprapubic cath until it comes off is another option.
I am not sure I would even try. I use humor on occasion (my favorite being telling folks who will need an apr also, know as getting rid of their anus, that at least no one should be able to call them an a**hole anymore because they won't have one) and this seems like an occasion ripe for it.
It's been three years since this was updated I know. But I am now registration in an Emergency Department. And the first day, THE FIRST DAY I was on the floor training.
"Foreign body in vagina."
I would like to thank all of you of preparing me for this job as I didn't even blink at that
It's been three years since this was updated I know. But I am now registration in an Emergency Department. And the first day, THE FIRST DAY I was on the floor training.
"Foreign body in vagina."
I would like to thank all of you of preparing me for this job as I didn't even blink at that
Did you at least not transfer it to “a higher level of care” for a sedation? It took me like 4 days to get my eyes out from being rolled into the back of my head after my kind colleague accepted that, 15 minutes before she left.
It's been three years since this was updated I know. But I am now registration in an Emergency Department. And the first day, THE FIRST DAY I was on the floor training.
"Foreign body in vagina."
I would like to thank all of you of preparing me for this job as I didn't even blink at that
If you're looking for really strange fetish try this one:
My patient was sneaking into the women's restrooms when no one was around. He'd rummage through the garbage and get out dirty diapers, and used feminine hygenie products. He would then eat the feces, and put the tampons and pads in his mouth. He told me "I turns me on...sexually"
Fortunatly he realized that this was a problem, and wanted to stop, mostly because he didn't want "Hepatitis or something".
If you're looking for really strange fetish try this one:
My patient was sneaking into the women's restrooms when no one was around. He'd rummage through the garbage and get out dirty diapers, and used feminine hygenie products. He would then eat the feces, and put the tampons and pads in his mouth. He told me "I turns me on...sexually"
Fortunatly he realized that this was a problem, and wanted to stop, mostly because he didn't want "Hepatitis or something".
What precisely were you searching for that led you to this thread? This is a necrobump of a thread that hasn't been updated since January. The January post was itself a necrombump from 2018. Your current post is a reply to a user who hasn't been active on SDN for 5 years and who wrote the post you're replying to SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO.
Adding to the mystery, this is apparently your first post, but have had an account for 6 years. I'm so wonderfully confused.
To be clear, I'm not yelling at you. On the contrary, welcome to the party. This is, however, possibly the strangest introduction to the forum that I've ever heard of.
What precisely were you searching for that led you to this thread? This is a necrobump of a thread that hasn't been updated since January. The January post was itself a necrombump from 2018. Your current post is a reply to a user who hasn't been active on SDN for 5 years and who wrote the post you're replying to SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO.
Adding to the mystery, this is apparently your first post, but have had an account for 6 years. I'm so wonderfully confused.
To be clear, I'm not yelling at you. On the contrary, welcome to the party. This is, however, possibly the strangest introduction to the forum that I've ever heard of.
Every time this thread bounces back up, I'm like Ahhh. What blast from the past shall we enjoy today?
That post was 17 years old, but I think this thread is more like 20+. It IS.
I feel old. Because I joined almost 20 years ago, maybe because of this thread. Sheesh.
Every time this thread bounces back up, I'm like Ahhh. What blast from the past shall we enjoy today?
That post was 17 years old, but I think this thread is more like 20+. It IS.
I feel old. Because I joined almost 20 years ago, maybe because of this thread. Sheesh.
I joined precisely because of this thread. I was a 4th year, had finished interviews and was coasting waiting for the Match when I discovered a link to this thread on BoingBoing. I read the whole thread in an evening
I joined precisely because of this thread. I was a 4th year, had finished interviews and was coasting waiting for the Match when I discovered a link to this thread on BoingBoing. I read the whole thread in an evening
Every time this thread bounces back up, I'm like Ahhh. What blast from the past shall we enjoy today?
That post was 17 years old, but I think this thread is more like 20+. It IS.
I feel old. Because I joined almost 20 years ago, maybe because of this thread. Sheesh.
No kidding... I don't think I've done anything else online consistently for 20+ years, and that includes my email address. I joined while packing to leave for my first year of medical school.
I was a sheltered, naive kid when I started working in the ER. Patients taught me a whole lot about the real world.
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<- me
