Things I Learn From My Patients
Started by docB
I'm sorry I laughed as hard as I did at this. It reminds me of this story my mom told me about when she was 13 and visiting hot springs in California. The women's changing room has no stalls or separators, so everyone changes out in the open, and there are always tons of little old naked ladies wandering around. But the worst thing she ever saw was this little old lady, probably in her mid 80s, with saggy sacs that were all stretched out, enough so that they hung to just above the navel. And so this little old lady seriously just takes a tit in hand and rolls it up to where boobs should be and tucks it into her bra, then proceeds to do the same to the other. Seems like a good way to get this sort of injury!
Man I completely disagree. I love the MCU, and Daredevil on Netflix is one of my favorites, but Iron Fist is a steaming pile of garbage. Some of the worst acting I have seen, plot holes left right center, the main character also was so miscasted it is unbelievable.
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Eh, it’s an entertaining watch. If I had to put the Netflix shows in order it would be
1) Jessica Jones
2) Daredevil
3) Iron Fist
4) Luke Cage (so damn slow and boring)
Pretty big gap between daredevil and iron fist but at least iron fist was entertaining it you didn’t think about it too hard
1) Jessica Jones (either season)
2) Daredevil season 1
3) Luke Cage
4) Daredevil season 2
5) Defenders
6) Iron Fist
MCU works on the charisma of its heroes (and is occasionally great because of the Villians). The actor playing Danny is a yawning void where charisma goes to die after a long and debilitating illness. I’m not sure quite how they managed to screw up magic ninjas as villians but with the exception of the Chinese woman the Hand notably worsened every scene that featured it.
Danny was definitely not charismatic and more of an annoying child at times, but if you really didn't pay too much attention it was enjoyable. Luke was just a boring character with a boring story. I feel like they could've done so much more with both but they ended up feeling more like a more faded background story. The Punisher was ok. The whole military background and scenes they showed were so incredibly cheesy it was hard to enjoy at best and cringey at worst. If we're breaking it down I would say:
1) Jessica Jones
2)Daredevil season 1
3) Defenders
4) Daredevil season 2
5) The Punisher
6) Iron Fist
7) Luke Cage
Take it elsewhere!!
Respectfully this once great thread has been completely gutted by non-provider anecdotes and has been for a couple of years. It’s basically our mini version of the Lounge.
If you are caught on national TV doing coke on the beach during spring break (srsly) by all means yell at the ER staff that your tachycardia was induced by the bad spicy food you ate , then try to bite the attending when she asks you if you took any medication. This guarantees extra special care for your vodka-reeking psychotic self.
Things I've learned from my patients 2018 edition ? Please ?
Also can we please drop the "provider" thing ? At least between us ?
Typing out non-EM docs, nurses, NPs, PAs, EMS anecdotes seemed more cumbersome than needed. My main gripe was the layperson, usually written in first person, stories that features run of the mill carelessness not the epic stupidity that we face. This thread used to be the equivalent of what happens whenever you get EM types together and supply alcohol. We tell war stories that in any other profession would be made up or exaggerated. More of the “plowing through a forest at night on an ATV at fullspeed while drunk and high and encountering the neighbor’s barbed wire fence” and less of the “I had a hangnail that got infected and I waited too long to get it looked at and my hand pussed out”.
We only have doctors , students and pharmacists over there (thankfully). Pharmacists stick to their own corner since they actually respect us. So we're docs and students over here - quite a brotherly bunch if I may say so.
Like a sweet old soccer mom denying taking any medication or having any prior condition and then when ask about the sleep pattern (I was suspecting being BSes) you get a gem like "oh I can only sleep if I take my diazepam" ....
<- me
R
RTC19
I met the nicest lady the other day who became a grandma when she was 29.
Babies having babies does sometimes run in families
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
HydroTwitch
New Member
Not in medicine, which I know is a gripe of many of you, but bear with me, this is good.
Ex-housemate in his late 20s with Type 2 Diabetes, High BP, and High Cholesterol. Was all stable when he moved in, didn't really cause any problems. Other housemates and I actually forgot about his health stuff.
Sitting in the lounge with the 2 other housemates one night and this guy emerges from his room (where he pretty much hermitted 23 hours a day) complaining of a headache and some nausea. Apparently he had also taken it upon himself to call an ambulance.
Got an update from him a bit later saying that his BP, diabetes, and cholesterol were all out of whack. Based on suspicions aroused by his ongoing hermitting and having never seen the guy walk further than 20 metres or eat anything remotely healthy, another housemate and I take a peek around his bedroom door. Pepsi bottles and empty dorito packets for carpet. Basically prolonged suicide for someone with his history.
So housemate gets home a few hours later, bitching because all they gave him was a few panadol for the headache, some insulin, and instructions to take his damn meds. Turns out the idiot had been rationing his medication! Claimed that he couldn't afford the $5-$6 per prescription so he was only taking his various medications every few days.
Somehow managed to afford copious amounts of pepsi and doritos though
Needless to say, as a frequent flyer to Emergency for conditions outside my control, I made it clear to this ***** that I wasn't impressed at his antics that resulted in him taking a bed.
Last I heard, he was still alive and still has all his limbs. No idea how.
Ex-housemate in his late 20s with Type 2 Diabetes, High BP, and High Cholesterol. Was all stable when he moved in, didn't really cause any problems. Other housemates and I actually forgot about his health stuff.
Sitting in the lounge with the 2 other housemates one night and this guy emerges from his room (where he pretty much hermitted 23 hours a day) complaining of a headache and some nausea. Apparently he had also taken it upon himself to call an ambulance.
Got an update from him a bit later saying that his BP, diabetes, and cholesterol were all out of whack. Based on suspicions aroused by his ongoing hermitting and having never seen the guy walk further than 20 metres or eat anything remotely healthy, another housemate and I take a peek around his bedroom door. Pepsi bottles and empty dorito packets for carpet. Basically prolonged suicide for someone with his history.
So housemate gets home a few hours later, bitching because all they gave him was a few panadol for the headache, some insulin, and instructions to take his damn meds. Turns out the idiot had been rationing his medication! Claimed that he couldn't afford the $5-$6 per prescription so he was only taking his various medications every few days.
Somehow managed to afford copious amounts of pepsi and doritos though
Needless to say, as a frequent flyer to Emergency for conditions outside my control, I made it clear to this ***** that I wasn't impressed at his antics that resulted in him taking a bed.
Last I heard, he was still alive and still has all his limbs. No idea how.
EMS buddy told me he recently ran a funny call. 20 something was arguing with his teenage nephew about some money and cell phone. He said what are you going to do, stab me. Well, the nephew returned a few minutes later and stabbed him.
Don't give crazy impressionable teens any ideas when they're pissed at you.
Don't give crazy impressionable teens any ideas when they're pissed at you.
Picking up a few shifts on the ambulance between graduation and starting my TRI since I'm still licensed as a Paramedic.
If your family unceremoniously dumps you off at another relatives house, then gleefully videos themselves burning your clothes and smashing your insulin bottles, posting the whole thing on Facebook, you will have another stroke. This one will affect your good side and leave you aphasic. All they could verbalize was a god-awful cry. Code Stroke on arrival, Tele-neuro consult, and 45 minutes later, another high-speed ambulance trip to the academic medical center 2 hours up the road.
If your family unceremoniously dumps you off at another relatives house, then gleefully videos themselves burning your clothes and smashing your insulin bottles, posting the whole thing on Facebook, you will have another stroke. This one will affect your good side and leave you aphasic. All they could verbalize was a god-awful cry. Code Stroke on arrival, Tele-neuro consult, and 45 minutes later, another high-speed ambulance trip to the academic medical center 2 hours up the road.
Hey - you stole my "likes"!!
Because it looks like you didn't move them to the "discussion thread".
Maybe you'll get 5 more on this post to make up for it
Hey, you got two out of it!!Maybe you'll get 5 more on this post to make up for it
I'll happily give you more likes now in exchange for never having to re-read the angry drivel that you were responding to.
From the veterinary side:
Today I learned that the best treatment for a dog's otitis externa is witch hazel extract, applied liberally to the inside of the ear. Nevermind that apparently that stings a heckuva lot based on the owner's description of the dog's reaction.
Also, apparently feeding your dog a clove of garlic a day will keep away fleas. I agree only by the fact that there will be no blood for the fleas OR the dog after that.
Today I learned that the best treatment for a dog's otitis externa is witch hazel extract, applied liberally to the inside of the ear. Nevermind that apparently that stings a heckuva lot based on the owner's description of the dog's reaction.
Also, apparently feeding your dog a clove of garlic a day will keep away fleas. I agree only by the fact that there will be no blood for the fleas OR the dog after that.
Long time no see. But I have a great example of legit 10/10 via my dad. It's when you are literally writhing with pain on the floor of ER, pass out for a few seconds, and the staff are breaking out the crash cart because his BP and Pulse are insane.
Best part? My dad walk out of ER an hour later just fine. The staff seemed annoyed. Heck, my dad was annoyed that he was in so much pain and it was nothing. Best they can tell a small part of his intestine got pinched for whatever reason, caused horrible pain, and then slipped right back into place. Most likely due to the writhing in pain. Oh and after suffering from it a few more times with less intensity over the course of a few weeks, you don't suffer from them again.
Best part? My dad walk out of ER an hour later just fine. The staff seemed annoyed. Heck, my dad was annoyed that he was in so much pain and it was nothing. Best they can tell a small part of his intestine got pinched for whatever reason, caused horrible pain, and then slipped right back into place. Most likely due to the writhing in pain. Oh and after suffering from it a few more times with less intensity over the course of a few weeks, you don't suffer from them again.
Last edited:
It's that time of year again! What did people get stuck in their orifices in 2018?
Thatonetsungal
New Member
Little background on me:
Not medical, but between Wilderness First Aid/First Responder, years as a ski instructor, and all the nifty stuff I learned on my way to Eagle Scout, I’ve seen - and worked on - my share of backcountry blues.
1) If the water looks clear, there is no chance of getting giardia, and you shouldn’t bother with your filter/purification tablets. When the rest of the group has to stop for you to empty your bowels every hour or so for the next week, it’s their fault for undercooking the food.
2) Legit advice - two coats, stuffed with most of your clothes and tied tightly around the leg, makes for a decent impromptu splint.
3) We all giggle about sharing a sleeping bag naked to treat hypothermia - it’s not so funny when you actually have to do it. Especially when the patient is a mildly obese, overly-fragrant male. Layers are important, kids.
4) One from the frontcountry - when getting on a transatlantic flight to France, it is a good idea to take tranquillizers, then wash them down in-flight with most of a bottle of wine and some vodka. When you collapse on your tenth trip to the bathroom in as many minutes, The poor Eagle Scout two rows behind you, a trauma nurse, and an EMT will have to work on you for the next three hours until you land, and then hold up the flight while French EMS comes down the aisle with the stretcher.
Huge props to all you properly in EM - you pick up where I leave off!
Not medical, but between Wilderness First Aid/First Responder, years as a ski instructor, and all the nifty stuff I learned on my way to Eagle Scout, I’ve seen - and worked on - my share of backcountry blues.
1) If the water looks clear, there is no chance of getting giardia, and you shouldn’t bother with your filter/purification tablets. When the rest of the group has to stop for you to empty your bowels every hour or so for the next week, it’s their fault for undercooking the food.
2) Legit advice - two coats, stuffed with most of your clothes and tied tightly around the leg, makes for a decent impromptu splint.
3) We all giggle about sharing a sleeping bag naked to treat hypothermia - it’s not so funny when you actually have to do it. Especially when the patient is a mildly obese, overly-fragrant male. Layers are important, kids.
4) One from the frontcountry - when getting on a transatlantic flight to France, it is a good idea to take tranquillizers, then wash them down in-flight with most of a bottle of wine and some vodka. When you collapse on your tenth trip to the bathroom in as many minutes, The poor Eagle Scout two rows behind you, a trauma nurse, and an EMT will have to work on you for the next three hours until you land, and then hold up the flight while French EMS comes down the aisle with the stretcher.
Huge props to all you properly in EM - you pick up where I leave off!
Last edited:
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
"Anything is a condom if you're smart enough"
Words of wisdom... from the man who superglued his penis shut.
Words of wisdom... from the man who superglued his penis shut.
How do you fix that? I would imagine putting acetone up the urethra would be.... irritating. Or do you just give the poor guy a local, and apply the acetone?
I would try soaking it in water to see if the glue separates enough to allow him to pee. Having used superglue for a small cut before, water and movement makes it come off much quicker than medical skin glue. Suprapubic cath until it comes off is another option.
We use surgilube to help remove it sometimes. I'm not sure how you'd give him those instructions with a totally straight face though.
I am not sure I would even try. I use humor on occasion (my favorite being telling folks who will need an apr also, know as getting rid of their anus, that at least no one should be able to call them an a**hole anymore because they won't have one) and this seems like an occasion ripe for it.
It's been three years since this was updated I know. But I am now registration in an Emergency Department. And the first day, THE FIRST DAY I was on the floor training.
"Foreign body in vagina."
I would like to thank all of you of preparing me for this job as I didn't even blink at that
"Foreign body in vagina."
I would like to thank all of you of preparing me for this job as I didn't even blink at that
TurboNecroBump!
Did you at least not transfer it to “a higher level of care” for a sedation? It took me like 4 days to get my eyes out from being rolled into the back of my head after my kind colleague accepted that, 15 minutes before she left.
Are you working in the US, or is "registration" some non-US medical staff term that I'm too American to understand?
I'm the person that takes your insurance information in the Emergency Department and does all the paperwork relating to that. And yes I'm American.
Gotcha.
1.) Welcome to hell.
2.) Aussies and the like use the term "Regis...trar"? like we use "resident", so I had to ask.
OK, that's different. Different enough to make me think "Y'know Jester, maybe you should have taken the pipeline security job in Saudi Arabia."
"Wow, that guy really needs help. Even my grossest friends wouldn't do that." - Birdstrike's dog
What precisely were you searching for that led you to this thread? This is a necrobump of a thread that hasn't been updated since January. The January post was itself a necrombump from 2018. Your current post is a reply to a user who hasn't been active on SDN for 5 years and who wrote the post you're replying to SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO.
Adding to the mystery, this is apparently your first post, but have had an account for 6 years. I'm so wonderfully confused.
To be clear, I'm not yelling at you. On the contrary, welcome to the party. This is, however, possibly the strangest introduction to the forum that I've ever heard of.
Chances he's Fetish-guy from @EMRADEN's post?
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Every time this thread bounces back up, I'm like Ahhh. What blast from the past shall we enjoy today?
That post was 17 years old, but I think this thread is more like 20+. It IS.
I feel old. Because I joined almost 20 years ago, maybe because of this thread. Sheesh.
That post was 17 years old, but I think this thread is more like 20+. It IS.
I feel old. Because I joined almost 20 years ago, maybe because of this thread. Sheesh.
I joined precisely because of this thread. I was a 4th year, had finished interviews and was coasting waiting for the Match when I discovered a link to this thread on BoingBoing. I read the whole thread in an evening
Me Too!!!!
No kidding... I don't think I've done anything else online consistently for 20+ years, and that includes my email address. I joined while packing to leave for my first year of medical school.
I was a sheltered, naive kid when I started working in the ER. Patients taught me a whole lot about the real world.
Today a very unhappy dilaudopenic patient looked me dead in the eyes as I handed him discharge paperwork and just said "you should have been a veterinarian."
Today I learned that I would have been great with animals! I really appreciate his vote of confidence! 👍
Today I learned that I would have been great with animals! I really appreciate his vote of confidence! 👍
