Another "advice" thread...

[JoAnna423]

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Ok, so here is my question...

Let me start off my saying that sometimes I feel like I lead a double life...on purpose...and depending on my audience you get one of two versions of me to begin with. In some ways, I am your typical person with dreams of being a vet... I am 23 year old, I graduated with a 3.73 GPA, average GRE scores, and fairly diverse/significant animal and veterinary experience. I take pride in the diversity of my experiences, from literally everything from zoo animals to research involving humans. I have made considerable effort in REALLY deciding if vet med is what I want to do, and it totally is. The not so typical part of me is that I am a teen mom. I was 17 when I got pregnant, I moved into my own apt on my 18th birthday, and have been raising my son with minimal (if any) help from my family or his father. I have relocated twice out of state since graduating college (which I did in 4.5 years) for various job advancements all the while handling responsibilities that most people with far more life experience cannot seem to handle. My problem is...since my son was born I have struggled with being open about being a parent at such a young age. And even as I get older, well, so does he and people can do the math. It takes weeks, sometimes MONTHS for me to tell people, particularly people who I deem as "superior" that I am a mother, and I became one at a fairly young age (which is obvious if I DO NOT tell people). This is for two reasons 1) I am scared that people will judge me for being, well, obviously on some level as a teenager, irresponsible and somehow see me as unfit for employment (or vet school) or in a completely opposite way of thinking 2) I do not want to play the "single mom card" as an excuse for ANYTHING...

So, finally my question is that how personal is the personal statment suppose to be? Nowhere on my application did I indicate that I am a mother...and not that it necessarily HAS to be said but when I look at my application it quite simply is not me because such a large and deciding factor of my life (my son) is not it. The semester he was born I took online classes, I was LITERALLY sitting in the hospital after a C-section writing a paper for my African American History class...should I, or HOW do I communicate this dedication I had my schooling? I cannot help but think this added to me not getting accepted this cycle. My accomplishments may seem "average" next to other applications without the person reading this knowing I did ALL of it while being a single mother. And honestly, sometimes it was very, very, VERY hard. Is this too personal though? Will the admission committee make my biggest fear a reality that "if this chick is the type of person to get pregnant at 17 we do not want her here!" or is that just my own crazy head voice and insecurities.

Excuse me for writing a book...I just can't decide what to do...I am not sure if having my "personal statement stand out" is worth the anxiety I feel about revealing something so personal...any advice? 🙂)

 

[wildcatj]

I think that shows a type of commitment and responsibility that many of us can't touch. I think that it's definitely something that you should put somewhere on your application. Have you considered putting it in your explanation statement? I think your personal statement would be a fine place for it too, just showing how well you can balance life and school (and still come out with a great GPA at that!). But it really depends on how in depth you want to go into it. If you felt like you needed more than a paragraph, I would probably put it in your explanation statement, but if you felt like you could incorporate it briefly into your PS, that would work too. Not sure if that really helps you out at all, but I really think it's something you should call attention to in the vet school game.

 

[bearito]

If I was an admissions person I would be really impressed by your story. I think it shows that you have excellent time management skills and also that you REALLY want to be a vet or else you would not have gone to all that trouble of finishing school with good grades and getting all of those experience hours. I agree with wildcat as far as where to put it - I think either place is fine as long as you do tell them.

 

[katryn]

Definitely include it, either briefly in your PS or more extensively in the explanation section. Most of the admissions committees are far more interested in how you respond/overcome mistakes or hardships than they are in the actual event itself.

 

[TigerWillow]

Ok, so here is my question...

Let me start off my saying that sometimes I feel like I lead a double life...on purpose...and depending on my audience you get one of two versions of me to begin with. In some ways, I am your typical person with dreams of being a vet... I am 23 year old, I graduated with a 3.73 GPA, average GRE scores, and fairly diverse/significant animal and veterinary experience. I take pride in the diversity of my experiences, from literally everything from zoo animals to research involving humans. I have made considerable effort in REALLY deciding if vet med is what I want to do, and it totally is. The not so typical part of me is that I am a teen mom. I was 17 when I got pregnant, I moved into my own apt on my 18th birthday, and have been raising my son with minimal (if any) help from my family or his father. I have relocated twice out of state since graduating college (which I did in 4.5 years) for various job advancements all the while handling responsibilities that most people with far more life experience cannot seem to handle. My problem is...since my son was born I have struggled with being open about being a parent at such a young age. And even as I get older, well, so does he and people can do the math. It takes weeks, sometimes MONTHS for me to tell people, particularly people who I deem as "superior" that I am a mother, and I became one at a fairly young age (which is obvious if I DO NOT tell people). This is for two reasons 1) I am scared that people will judge me for being, well, obviously on some level as a teenager, irresponsible and somehow see me as unfit for employment (or vet school) or in a completely opposite way of thinking 2) I do not want to play the "single mom card" as an excuse for ANYTHING...

So, finally my question is that how personal is the personal statment suppose to be? Nowhere on my application did I indicate that I am a mother...and not that it necessarily HAS to be said but when I look at my application it quite simply is not me because such a large and deciding factor of my life (my son) is not it. The semester he was born I took online classes, I was LITERALLY sitting in the hospital after a C-section writing a paper for my African American History class...should I, or HOW do I communicate this dedication I had my schooling? I cannot help but think this added to me not getting accepted this cycle. My accomplishments may seem "average" next to other applications without the person reading this knowing I did ALL of it while being a single mother. And honestly, sometimes it was very, very, VERY hard. Is this too personal though? Will the admission committee make my biggest fear a reality that "if this chick is the type of person to get pregnant at 17 we do not want her here!" or is that just my own crazy head voice and insecurities.

Excuse me for writing a book...I just can't decide what to do...I am not sure if having my "personal statement stand out" is worth the anxiety I feel about revealing something so personal...any advice? 🙂)

I think this day and age there are more and more of these types of situations (teen pregnancies, single mom, etc). I also know of a vet who was absolutely brilliant and had a kid very young (in hs). If anything, that is super commendable that you've done so well with the added stress. Plus, you were young! People make mistakes! It's definitely human nature, and no one is perfect. I would definitely talk about how you matured or how even a mistake turned out to be a blessing (which I am sure your son is!)

 

[heylodeb]

People make "mistakes" (and your son, I would guess, has proven to be the best "mistake" you ever made!) but you have proven that not only were you able to take a rather arduous path of raising your son and still being as successful as you have been (higher GPA/GRE than me - and I only had 4 footed kids!). I would DEFINITELY mention that you were raising a child as you went through this process. It shows your potential and abilities. I'm not sure it is necessary to mention you were a teen mother but I don't think that it would discredit you considering how well you have done. 😀

 

[K9DANE]

Adcoms want to see/know that you can handle stress. I think your story shows that 😉

 

[LetItSnow]

I am not sure if having my "personal statement stand out" is worth the anxiety I feel about revealing something so personal...any advice? 🙂)

I don't think you necessarily have to include it in your personal statement, nor do I think there's anything wrong with doing so. If it's a significant shaping event in your life that you can use to show qualities that will make you a successful vet and vet student, then by all means, use it. The key is that whatever qualities you highlight need to be tied back in to vet med. A lot of people face challenges of varying degrees; if they can't articulate why those challenges shaped them in ways that make them a stronger candidate, then sharing those challenges accomplishes nothing.

I don't mean this as harsh as it's going to sound, and I'm cringing, but ... get over your fear of sharing being a mother with people. There's a lot of good things about being a young mother - lower risk factors for certain health issues for your child, increasing the likelihood you'll be around for a greater portion of your child's life, better odds of still being in great health when they leave home .... anyone who judges you doesn't deserve to have their opinion weighed. Be proud of your child and what you've done. The fact that it might have started out under less than desirable circumstances says nothing about what you've done since or plan to do in the future.

 

[modjeska]

While I have no advice about vet school, since I'm just getting around to the decision to finally do it, young motherhood is my area of expertise. 🙂 I did manage to turn 20 right before he was born, and made the (ultimately regrettable) decision to work a series of (admittedly awesome, meaningful but low paying) jobs instead of continuing school right away, but there are/were many advantages even still to having had him so young.

When we were both younger, it was hard to find a peer group I fit into. I had little in common with people my own age who didn't understand why I didn't want to drink until 4am and sleep until noon, and mothers of kids my son's age just seemed to see me as an inferior parent because of my age. I do understand not wanting to be judged based on that, because feeling that judgement really sucks. However, I was a great parent, and people who I let get to know me realized that quickly.

Now, my son is 16 and I'm 36. I'm still consistently the youngest mom when we're with his school friends, but it's not so obvious anymore. I guess what I'm saying is that it gets so much easier. I think about 28 was the point that I stopped feeling like I should sit with the kids instead of the moms. I'd still rather sit with the kids, though! I was never too tired to play with him, I could always keep up with him physically, and even now, we run 5Ks, trail run and hike together. We relate really well, I think in large part because I didn't have a chance to forget what it's like to be a kid.

You should be proud that you've managed to achieve so much while parenting. Not everyone has that much ambition and determination. I know the school I'm applying to weighs overcoming socioeconomic barriers, and being a young parent certainly qualifies as that.

I don't think you need to lead with that information, but I do think as long as you express well the level of commitment you seem to have, it can only help you.

 

[Trilt]

I just want to say that I have so much respect for young moms, and you having accomplished what you did with a child is AMAZING. Hell, you have a higher GPA than me. My mother also had me at 17 and attended university/worked while raising me, and I can't even imagine how she did it. So, so many e-props to you for achieving so much!

If the schools you apply to have a question about diversity, this would be a great way to stand out and talk about your life experiences and what you've accomplished. If your application were only being analyzed by a single person I'd be worried that you might get some stuffy old person who would look down their nose at you, but being done by committee I'm pretty sure the boost you get by saying "look what I've done... while also raising a son!" would outweigh any potential problems with your age of pregnancy.

Sell it! You dealt with and overcome an obstacle that many can't even imagine.

 

[JoAnna423]

Thanks everyone for your help, advice, words, everything! I think considering all the points made I can present this information in a way that shows how prepared I am for veterinary school...I am excited to start working on the application again! 😀

 

[firstattempt1]

I'm a non-trad high school drop out and had to explain my own background in my personal statement.... I discussed my background inasmuch as I felt it affected my motivation to succeed in the veterinary profession.... I also limited discussing my background only to what I felt comfortable defending under scrutiny....

in other words, you should imagine a hostile adcom reading your personal statement and then interviewing you about it.... if you can not confidently defend any aspect of it, then take it out...

personally, I think your story demonstrates a lot of character and motivation... but you never know who is going to read it on the admission committee, and you should be prepared to discuss every inch of it confidently...

 

[JoAnna423]

I'm a non-trad high school drop out and had to explain my own background in my personal statement.... I discussed my background inasmuch as I felt it affected my motivation to succeed in the veterinary profession.... I also limited discussing my background only to what I felt comfortable defending under scrutiny....

in other words, you should imagine a hostile adcom reading your personal statement and then interviewing you about it.... if you can not confidently defend any aspect of it, then take it out...

personally, I think your story demonstrates a lot of character and motivation... but you never know who is going to read it on the admission committee, and you should be prepared to discuss every inch of it confidently...

That is a good point. I think I have kind of narrowed my "talking about it" to just what you said...how it shows that I am ready for vet school and my determination and dedication toward school. I know that I am not comfortable defending certain aspects of my life (like anyone), so I think I will focus on having my son during college versus having him at a young age while in college. I am so glad for everyone's advice!

And KUDOS to you on getting into vet school! Non-trad people are so inspiring to me! 😀

 

[CanHardlyWait]

I'm a non-trad high school drop out and had to explain my own background in my personal statement.... I discussed my background inasmuch as I felt it affected my motivation to succeed in the veterinary profession.... I also limited discussing my background only to what I felt comfortable defending under scrutiny....

in other words, you should imagine a hostile adcom reading your personal statement and then interviewing you about it.... if you can not confidently defend any aspect of it, then take it out...

personally, I think your story demonstrates a lot of character and motivation... but you never know who is going to read it on the admission committee, and you should be prepared to discuss every inch of it confidently...

I'm a high school drop out as well and I started with that in my personal statement. It's clear from my transcripts, so I figured I might as well just come out with it. I also only discussed it briefly, as in why I dropped out and waited so long (a decade) to go to college. I think my past made me stand out as an applicant and I know it has made me who I am today; a person I am proud to be, with a life I love living and no regrets whatsoever.
JoAnna423 I would guess that having your child at such a young age has shaped your current life in a similar way, so don't be ashamed of that or feel the need to hide it. It says a whole lot about a person when they can face hard times and come out on top. Admissions committee members are people too, and they will realize that about you. Be honest in your personal statement, but be smart too. What firstattempt said above is good advice.

 

[SnowyRox]

Definitely try to incorporate being a parent into your application. It sounds like something that defines you, and it is definitely a huge obstacle to success (that you've overcome).

No need to be embarrassed. Hold your head high, shoulders back, and proudly tell everyone about your son. Age is just a number. You can be a great example for younger parents who think their career goals are gone just because they got pregnant.

 

[squirrelsrule]

I agree, you should definitely include it somewhere. That changes your average stats into something that very few could achieve. You need to start taking pride in being a mom, you've overcome so many challenges and have been dedicated to both your son and your future, anyone who doesn't see how awesome that is isn't worth associating with or working for! I think if you open up a little about it, you'll find a lot of supportive people out there. I think if you get an interview and they ask you about a stressful situation and how you handled it, you would have like a million stories to choose from! You have so many more life experiences than most people your age, I don't see how the adcoms could hear your story and not accept you.

 

[JoAnna423]

I agree, you should definitely include it somewhere. That changes your average stats into something that very few could achieve. You need to start taking pride in being a mom, you've overcome so many challenges and have been dedicated to both your son and your future, anyone who doesn't see how awesome that is isn't worth associating with or working for! I think if you open up a little about it, you'll find a lot of supportive people out there. I think if you get an interview and they ask you about a stressful situation and how you handled it, you would have like a million stories to choose from! You have so many more life experiences than most people your age, I don't see how the adcoms could hear your story and not accept you.

Thank you so much. I got goosebumps! 😀