Another Relationship Thread but this time Overseas!

[OtakuVet]

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Hey Everyone,
I just have a small question. Or better yet a situation. So I have decided to go on to vet school in Australia. The boy was originally going to come with me because he also was accepted to Murdoch but on a conditional acceptance. Since mine was non-conditional I was rip and roaring to go. But for the past few weeks, Ive slowly began to realize that i wont be able to have my boyfriend come with me. Now this isnt going to change my plans by any means. But I just kinda need some moral support especially if you guys had to deal with a similar situation. Im not just asking those who went over seas but those that just had to deal with going apart or seperate ways. And also vetrans of this, did it work out or fall apart?

 

[Bearby]

Congrats first of all! Secondly, I've been in a couple of long-distance relationships and it is really hard. That's not to say that it can't be done because I've had friends who have had successful long-distance relationships but I've also seen a lot of them fall apart. I was younger when I was in mine, less experienced, more immature, which I think is a big part in why it wasn't working. If nothing else, it teaches you a lot about yourself and your partner. It will be difficult because you will both be so busy but you'll never know if it will work out unless you try it. I try not to regret anything that I've done. I just take it, learn from it, and move forward. If it works out, great! If it doesn't, that's ok too, there are lots of cute boys in Australia 😉.

 

[GellaBella]

Just for clarification: are you and he certain that he will not be accepted to Murdoch now??

well I haven't had your specific situation but I did date a boy who lives in England for 3 years. When I was in college it was fine, we were able to see each other once a month on a rotating basis...he would fly to me one month and spend 4 days or so and I would fly to him the next month and do the same. It was fairly expensive and I got a ton of frequent flier miles out of it, but since I was in college I could work my on campus job and save up for the next flight etc. We were happy like that for 3 years and he would come over for summers (find internships etc) and I was able to go over there for a summer (got a fellowship at University of Cambridge). Unfortunately, when I started graduate school I just did not have the time. I was working really hard during the day and when I'd get home I was tired and just wanted to unwind, sit and not think about anything for a little bit. With the time change difference however that was right when he wanted to call and talk and things started to get tense because he couldn't understand why I was so tired and just didn't have the energy. Eventually I had to break it off, it was hard and it hurt but I know it was the right decision.

So I guess from my viewpoint long distance CAN definitely work you just need to find ways to make sure that you see each other and talk to each other. It is definitely hard though. Especially if the other person is not as busy as you. There needs to be complete understanding and support of the situation. But I think probably most importantly, both you and your bf need to seriously think about whether or not either of you think you can do long distance. Some people know they can. Some people know they can't. and it's unfair to ask someone to go into a long distance relationship if they know it is just not something they want to do.
Good luck to you guys

 

[shortnsweet]

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=208987

Because I couldn't bring myself to write out my whole story again, but feel free to PM me!

Good luck to you!!

 

[luplodw]

I'm dating someone that lives in Seattle and I go to school in Alabama. It can be done!! We have been together for almost 5 years (even though 3 of those years we went to college together). I only get to see him for thanksgiving, spring break, and once or twice in the summer. If you two love each other enough, you can make it work. Don't give up!

 

[flyhi]

I haven't done the overseas thing, but definitely the LD for years. Some of it was on separate coasts and some of it a 5 hour drive. The thing about Australia is it's literally half way around the world. I would think it might be very difficult (and costly) to see each other on a regular basis with that kind of distance. Not to mention, the time zones. I'm not trying to be a debbie downer at all, just realistic. I do strongly believe that if you feel each other is 'the one' and planning on forever, it can definitely be done.

That is very cool that you chose Murdoch. I looked very strongly at the school, but couldn't force myself to ship my dogs that far for that long and THEN do the long quarantine. It sounds like a great program/school though.

Did you apply to US? Are you going in February?

GOOD LUCK

 

[lalzi22]

I'm not overseas, but my bf and I have been together for 5 years, 4 of which have been long distance. It massively sucks sometimes, however, if you are both VERY trusting, and both willing to say 'ok, we may go for a full week without really talking, and I understand that, and thats ok', then its def possible. he just needs to understand that for a bit he won't be number 1, and that you need to focus. if he can do that, #1- kudos to him, he is very confident in your relationship and I give him mad props, and #2- it can def be possible

 

[OtakuVet]

First of all, Thank you everyone for your answers!
Well me and my boyfriend have been together for quite sometime, around 6 years. We've been long distance through college but now-a-days, things just seem harder. Overseas seem like a huge jump. Its one thing to be a few states away where you can drive down during breaks (which I do), but the whole...I cant even talk to him everyday as mushy as this sounds frightens me. Its just we are the best of friends, high school buddies. Its not just a boyfriend I would be missing, it would be the best friend I ever had. Im thinking about emails, I use skype but the time zones hurt and time I just wont have.

 

[Minnerbelle]

First of all, Thank you everyone for your answers!
Well me and my boyfriend have been together for quite sometime, around 6 years. We've been long distance through college but now-a-days, things just seem harder. Overseas seem like a huge jump. Its one thing to be a few states away where you can drive down during breaks (which I do), but the whole...I cant even talk to him everyday as mushy as this sounds frightens me. Its just we are the best of friends, high school buddies. Its not just a boyfriend I would be missing, it would be the best friend I ever had. Im thinking about emails, I use skype but the time zones hurt and time I just wont have.

Aww, I'm sorry you're going through that... it's tough. I know it's super hard when your boyfriend was your high school buddy. I went a long distance in a similar situation (though not overseas, just CA and MA). He was my boyfriend from sophomore year in high school, and I stayed in a long distance with him throughout my entire college career. He was one of a very few real friends I had throughout high school, and he was the love of my life for years.

I still think he's one of the greatest people on earth, but I realized after 6 years (!) that he's not who I want to be with for the rest of my life. It was a shocker when I realized that to be honest. I was sure I was going to marry him and start a family after college. I'm not trying to be a downer or anything at all, and maybe you two really are meant to be together, but it's something to think about. If you've only been in this one relationship all the way from high school (esp if a lot of it was long distance), you have to realize that you grow up and you are a different person than you were back when you started dating. maybe you two are still compatible, but maybe you're not... and it take a LOT of introspection to realize that after all these years... maybe you were tunnel visioned into believing that you have found THE ONE and never considered other options.

Of course I'm not sure I'm the one to ask for relationship advice, seeing as I ended up dating the world's biggest douche soon afterwards (and am still feeling the consequences for it). But having broken up with my high school sweetheart was the greatest growing experience for me. I slipped up once after that, but I feel like I've finally found someone at age 24 that I am very compatible with. Not sure how things will go when I go off to vet school, but I know that I'm much happier now than I was with my high school sweetheart (though I felt rather happy at the time).

Anyhoos, PM me if you want anyone to talk to!

P.S. heh heh, and that high school sweetie who is an engineer was going to support me through vet school! crazy to have given that up, but i know i'm a much better person out of that relationship and i guess that's all that matters

 

[mochavet]

It can be done! Let me share....

My husband and I have been together since we were freshman in high school and we are now 30. I got accepted to Murdoch in Australia when I was 27 and decided that I would go. We had a house, cars, pets, jobs, basically everything. It was a HUGE decision. We did not have enough time to get things sold and jobs finished before I had to leave so we made the tough choice to have me go and him stay. I spent my first semester in Australia without him. It was the hardest four months of my life! I think I had about 6 panic attacks and nearly missed one of my final anatomy prac exams because I just wanted to go home (thank god for roommates who made me go). It was rough but we made it through. We made it work. With internet you can basically talk anytime you want, which did make things easier. I am now going into 4th year and we are still happily married. He's been here now for 2 years and things are great.

Moral of the story is that if it is meant to be then you will make it happen. Everyone is different and every situation is different. You two have been together for 6 years which is a long time. You say he is your best friend, which is also an awesome thing. I would not give up on it at this point. There are ways he can still come. Tell him to apply to the Biomed or Animal Science program then he can always try and transfer to vet later. You will work it out if it is what you both want.

PM me anytime if you have any questions or just need support!🙂

 

[quantized]

I dated a german guy in undergrad, and when we graduated he headed back to germany. We both applied for grad programs in the US but he ended up going to one in France and I was in one in California. We tried for a good 2.5 years but we just grew too far apart and just petered out, although I guess to be fair I don't think it would have worked out even if we had been at the same school and he later admitted that he avoided coming to the US with me because he felt pressured. We're still friends and talk occasionally, but that's it. I don't think I would do it again - it was really tough doing the overseas thing.