Desperately need help on dating

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Because I'm a tad narcissistic, I'm going to interrupt this thread for a minute.

Been going out with the 46 yo for the past week. She already is trying to define the relationship, doesn't want me to date other people, and is asking if she can stay the night tonight. We plan to go out in a few hours to the beach. She can't have kids so that's a good thing. I realize if I go along with it, she'll keep taking. If I put the breaks on, she may do the same or end it and the related fun. I can't stand it when women want to define and label things especially this quickly. I have a few more potential dates with a few other women, but the sex is pretty good, and I sound like a jerk but hey, I did say I'm a tad narcissistic. I can't define a relationship within a week of dating.

OP - so I was on tinder and this girl was really unattractive. I swipe right on almost everyone and I must have not paid attention. She quickly swiped right on me. I was being ridiculous in my texting with her. She took it as me having an awesome sense of humor and gave me her number. Told me she hadn't had any in a year, etc. Give it a try, seriously. Be ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Say you're a male dancer and go with it. Tell her she's not up for the challenge of taming you, etc. I am thinking that if you're even a little more decent looking than your self-perception (hopefully) it could work for you. Never ever act like a girl is better than you. Never. You are better than everyone else and you don't need them.

I will say this though - don't lie and lead women on. I don't do that. I'm straight up. As for her, I probably will tell her it was fun texting but it is not a good time right now, and this is true.
 
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Doctor4Life1769 said:
Because I'm a tad narcissistic, I'm going to interrupt this thread for a minute.

Been going out with the 46 yo for the past week. She already is trying to define the relationship, doesn't want me to date other people, and is asking if she can stay the night tonight. We plan to go out in a few hours to the beach. She can't have kids so that's a good thing. I realize if I go along with it, she'll keep taking. If I put the breaks on, she may do the same or end it and the related fun. I can't stand it when women want to define and label things especially this quickly. I have a few more potential dates with a few other women, but the sex is pretty good, and I sound like a jerk but hey, I did say I'm a tad narcissistic. I can't define a relationship within a week of dating.
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46 is waaaaay too old for me to be fooling around with (if I was hypothetically single) but I'm more than a decade younger so it depends on your age I guess.
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
Give it a try, seriously. Be ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Say you're a male dancer and go with it. Tell her she's not up for the challenge of taming you, etc. I am thinking that if you're even a little more decent looking than your self-perception (hopefully) it could work for you. Never ever act like a girl is better than you. Never. You are better than everyone else and you don't need them.
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I think this is great advice. Reminds me of this one time I was out with my friends and I was eyeing this posh looking girl who looks like the type of person that would tell you to **** off the moment you introduce yourself. I wasn't wrong - I went up to her and she kept on rambling about how she's the best thing ever and I had no chance. I told her the only girls out of my league are celebrities and that I've never heard of her. She gives me a nasty look and I continue to talk to the person next to me at the bar. A few moments later she says: if you buy me a drink, I'll tell you my name. To which I responded with: sorry, I only buy drinks for girls I'm going to sleep with (stole this line from my friend). She looks at me with disgust again and walks off with her crew. Minutes later she approaches me again in a different location and says: okay... my name is x. We ended up dancing together and I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

I think when we're trying to impress someone we fall into the trap of kissing their ass too much. Sometimes it's good to let other people jump through your hoops instead of the other way around.
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
Because I'm a tad narcissistic, I'm going to interrupt this thread for a minute.

Been going out with the 46 yo for the past week. She already is trying to define the relationship, doesn't want me to date other people, and is asking if she can stay the night tonight. We plan to go out in a few hours to the beach. She can't have kids so that's a good thing. I realize if I go along with it, she'll keep taking. If I put the breaks on, she may do the same or end it and the related fun. I can't stand it when women want to define and label things especially this quickly. I have a few more potential dates with a few other women, but the sex is pretty good, and I sound like a jerk but hey, I did say I'm a tad narcissistic. I can't define a relationship within a week of dating.
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Trying to define a relationship within a week? Time to say buh-bye.
 
Yeah...no sex is better than sex in the hands of someone not prepared for sex. It's more dangerous than a gun.

Seriously...build your confidence. Date. Be merry. But don't allow sex to be apart of your plan.
 
ThoracicGuy said:
Trying to define a relationship within a week? Time to say buh-bye.
Click to expand...

Was out with her and she felt that I was ignoring her and she felt self-conscious. Guess what that led to... Best session ever. I could tell she wants me badly. She asked me if I wanted to stay the night but I told her not tonight.

I'm waiting for my other dates to kick in before that I end it with her
 
j4pac said:
Yeah...no sex is better than sex in the hands of someone not prepared for sex. It's more dangerous than a gun.

Seriously...build your confidence. Date. Be merry. But don't allow sex to be apart of your plan.
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Truth

Don't get one-itis
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
Hopefully you don't look like avatar you've selected for yourself.
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That wasn't nice.

Girls feel a lot of pressure to look, act, and feel a certain way in society today. We don't need people to pull us down.

It's often seen as taboo to describe yourself as good-looking or attractive, and I'm not quite sure why.
 
benzyne said:
That wasn't nice.

Girls feel a lot of pressure to look, act, and feel a certain way in society today. We don't need people to pull us down.

It's often seen as taboo to describe yourself as good-looking or attractive, and I'm not quite sure why.
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I guess it's been awhile for you too. It's ok, there is always tinder and there is always the bar.

It shows that you're boasting or bragging/conceited and everyone's level of attractiveness is purely subjective. I would describe myself not as "good looking" or attractive, but rather "handsome" and let someone else tell me I'm attractive.

Honestly I don't say any of those about myself. I'm just a guy here to meet a wonderful lady...
 
I got a hit from a certified yoga instructor who looks like a model. This just keeps getting better and better, I wish I wasn't a slow adopter to dating apps as they now restrict the number of swipes you can do unless you're forking out 9.99/mo... no freaking way am I paying for this crap
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
I got a hit from a certified yoga instructor who looks like a model. This just keeps getting better and better, I wish I wasn't a slow adopter to dating apps as they now restrict the number of swipes you can do unless you're forking out 9.99/mo... no freaking way am I paying for this crap
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Be careful that it's not a bot or gold digger bro. Dangerous world out there
 
Psai said:
Be careful that it's not a bot or gold digger bro. Dangerous world out there
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Even if it's a bot- you think I'm gonna click on the links? Nope.

Gold digger possibly if real. I don't plan anything long term.

46 yo just texted me she really likes me and if what she said scares me then I should end it before it goes any further. Wow. Needy much? It's only been 1 week. Probably her way of weeding guys out too but I doubt it.
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
I guess it's been awhile for you too. It's ok, there is always tinder and there is always the bar.

It shows that you're boasting or bragging/conceited and everyone's level of attractiveness is purely subjective. I would describe myself not as "good looking" or attractive, but rather "handsome" and let someone else tell me I'm attractive.

Honestly I don't say any of those about myself. I'm just a guy here to meet a wonderful lady...
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I have been in a wonderful long-term relationship for almost a year, thanks for asking.

So if you call yourself "handsome" that's not bragging? I get what you mean about the subjectivity of attractiveness, but people still are turned off when you "know you're attractive". Read this and you'll see what I mean.
 
benzyne said:
I have been in a wonderful long-term relationship for almost a year, thanks for asking.

So if you call yourself "handsome" that's not bragging? I get what you mean about the subjectivity of attractiveness, but people still are turned off when you "know you're attractive". Read this and you'll see what I mean.
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I also clarified and said I don't call myself handsome when I speak with others. Knowing so and telling someone you're handsome or hot or whatever are two very different things.

I appreciate the thought, though.

I glanced through the garbage blog
Site you posted. I'm not sure what to say to that except this - as a guy or even a girl, the opening line should never be about complimenting his or her appearance. It should be a way to engage her and talk to her, get to know her. Those who can't do that are already insecure and hope a compliment will somehow make her wet in her pants and want to sleep with them. They're dumb and that's why the experiment works so well to make them look like insecure children.
 
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Doctor4Life1769 said:
I glanced through the garbage blog
Site you posted. I'm not sure what to say to that except this - as a guy or even a girl, the opening line should never be about complimenting his or her appearance. It should be a way to engage her and talk to her, get to know her. Those who can't do that are already insecure and hope a compliment will somehow make her wet in her pants and want to sleep with them. They're dumb and that's why the experiment works so well to make them look like insecure children.
Click to expand...

I agree, that's why when I was on tinder way back when (not how I met my bf, btw), I didn't respond to those guys. If you look, half of them are using incorrect grammar. I preferred something that was witty, engaging, or something about my interests in my "about me" section. But then again, I wasn't just looking for a hookup.

Also, Buzzfeed does have its drawbacks, but it's definitely not a "garbage blog site"
 
benzyne said:
I agree, that's why when I was on tinder way back when (not how I met my bf, btw), I didn't respond to those guys. If you look, half of them are using incorrect grammar. I preferred something that was witty, engaging, or something about my interests in my "about me" section. But then again, I wasn't just looking for a hookup.

Also, Buzzfeed does have its drawbacks, but it's definitely not a "garbage blog site"
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Fair enough about the site.

I really do hate blatantly poor grammar and ebonics or text speak regardless on a dating site or even if I know someone and they consistently text me like that. However, that's how society is nowadays unfortunately. I can understand if it is used by someone you know on occasion but they are in a rush but other than that it doesn't work for me either.

What I am looking for is probably not realistic. Heading for a date now...
 
benzyne said:
I agree, that's why when I was on tinder way back when (not how I met my bf, btw), I didn't respond to those guys. If you look, half of them are using incorrect grammar. I preferred something that was witty, engaging, or something about my interests in my "about me" section. But then again, I wasn't just looking for a hookup.

Also, Buzzfeed does have its drawbacks, but it's definitely not a "garbage blog site"
Click to expand...

Girls say they want something witty but when they get something like this they be all "bye" or unmatch

Yqwr1uF.png
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
I also clarified and said I don't call myself handsome when I speak with others. Knowing so and telling someone you're handsome or hot or whatever are two very different things.

I appreciate the thought, though.

I glanced through the garbage blog
Site you posted. I'm not sure what to say to that except this - as a guy or even a girl, the opening line should never be about complimenting his or her appearance. It should be a way to engage her and talk to her, get to know her. Those who can't do that are already insecure and hope a compliment will somehow make her wet in her pants and want to sleep with them. They're dumb and that's why the experiment works so well to make them look like insecure children.
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PM me a pic. I'll be more than happy to judge you. Height?

Sent from my SM-N920V using SDN mobile
 
BellaPinhaMD said:
PM me a pic. I'll be more than happy to judge you. Height?

Sent from my SM-N920V using SDN mobile
Click to expand...

I don't need your affirmation. I get enough positive affirmation as it is, feel free to PM me yours though since you seem to be struggling
 
Gastrapathy said:
Tell the nurses. They'll find u a single mom in no time. Date a few over the next 2 years. Don't marry the first one. You are leaving soon anyway. No more female friends who aren't into you. It's time to **** where u eat. Ask them to set u up.

Also, u are that ugly but decide that u don't give a ****. Women know whether they are interested almost immediately and don't change their minds. So only give them 2 dates to figure it out and move on. Volume is key. Also, get a job in a big city.

Buy a Benz. The new c300 on a lease maybe. Make sure your place isn't better suited to Warcraft than sex.
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Female friends that aren't into you are very likely to have other friends that would be. Most of my friends are female, and I've only been single about a year of my entire adult life because they were always bringing new girls into it.
 
Mad Jack said:
Female friends that aren't into you are very likely to have other friends that would be. Most of my friends are female, and I've only been single about a year of my entire adult life because they were always bringing new girls into it.
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Somehow, I don't think those beezies are into helping a brotha out
 
To the OP:

Read the book "Mate" by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller and implement the advice you read.
 
mpdoc2 said:
There was an NPR report recently on how the media demasculates Asians and causes them to not be deemed desirable.
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Yes, when you think of programs that have their finger on the pulse of masculinity you of course think NPR...
 
Doctor4Life1769 said:
Dumped the 46 yo yesterday.
She's been blowing my phone up since. Did it last night and again today while I was working in clinic this AM
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Wow, your posts in this thread are a confirmation that one can be both a highly educated professional and a total jerk (which you agreed with, by the way). I am surprised by this woman's reaction, though. By 46 years of age she should have known better and dumped you a long time ago. Or at least had the dignity to delete your contact info the moment you mentioned the breakup. "If a man wants to leave, help him pack his bag" - the best advice ever.
 
Margo said:
Wow, your posts in this thread are a confirmation that one can be both a highly educated professional and a total jerk (which you agreed with, by the way). I am surprised by this woman's reaction, though. By 46 years of age she should have known better and dumped you a long time ago. Or at least had the dignity to delete your contact info the moment you mentioned the breakup. "If a man wants to leave, help him pack his bag" - the best advice ever.
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Lol, says the girl who is into guidos. I have not posted details nor will I ever, but I find it comical that someone can be a highly educated professional and totally judgmental.

She was crazy. This was confirmed by my female friends. Word to the wise, don't try to define a relationship and force things within a week of dating. That's a pro tip for you, too.
 
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Doctor4Life1769 said:
Lol, says the girl who is into guidos. I have not posted details nor will I ever, but I find it comical that someone can be a highly educated professional and totally judgmental.

She was crazy. This was confirmed by my female friends. Word to the wise, don't try to define a relationship and force things within a week of dating. That's a pro tip for you, too.
Click to expand...

Lol, says the guy who is into hot yoga instructors. This thread is not even about you, dude. No one cares about your dating life. Or you ridiculous advice. Hopefully, the OP will know better.
 
Margo said:
Lol, says the guy who is into hot yoga instructors. This thread is not even about you, dude. No one cares about your dating life. Or you ridiculous advice. Hopefully, the OP will know better.
Click to expand...
Def agree.
One week its too soon to define a relationship but for ****boys it isnt too soon to have sex multiple times. So convenient that she was crazy to start with... because she wanted to know where things were headed.
He is so absurd.

Sent from my SM-N920V using SDN mobile
 
BellaPinhaMD said:
Def agree.
One week its too soon to define a relationship but for ****boys it isnt too soon to have sex multiple times. So convenient that she was crazy to start with... because she wanted to know where things were headed.
He is so absurd.

Sent from my SM-N920V using SDN mobile
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Lol

She knew it was casual. If you know sex makes you emotional then don't have sex until you're ready. I didn't ask or beg for it anyway, and I'm not gonna turn it down if offered and I'm interested in the person. I was completely straight up with the person and I never lie about my intentions with anyone I go out with. If anything, I've had women lie to me and my first relationship I was the other guy without ever knowing it and I fell for her. Hard. She ended up marrying the original guy because he was made of money. Don't blame the guy for not changing his mind immediately after sex. Of course, it's always the man's fault when these issues arise.
 
Margo said:
Lol, says the guy who is into hot yoga instructors. This thread is not even about you, dude. No one cares about your dating life. Or you ridiculous advice. Hopefully, the OP will know better.
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You're a major reason guys like the OP can't get a girl.

"Women want a nice guy"
"Women want to know chivalry isn't dead"
"women don't want to play games or be gamed"

Etc

When it's far from the truth. You want the guy that's gonna keep you interested and has a pretty face or a nice bod and honestly y'all are willing to forego manners and chivalry for someone like that. Let me know when you date someone like the op next time
 
Law2Doc said:
Yes, when you think of programs that have their finger on the pulse of masculinity you of course think NPR...
Click to expand...

Last time I checked NPR was more accurate than Men's magazine on issues like discrimination. Maybe you can pull your "I'm a lawyer" card for this too?
 
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