- Joined
- Jul 11, 2008
- Messages
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If homeless person has a car, where do they park it?
I am guessing in the street like everyone else. Perhaps covered by some card board though.
If homeless person has a car, where do they park it?
My dad is a retina guy and calls me today with a new one he got from a referred patient.
CC: My eye doc says I have masculine degeneration.
I was on scene once for a piggy bank versus forehead. The baby mama smashed her son's piggy bank on the dad's head with some nice lacs. It was somewhat hilarious seeing the porcelain strewn about.This morning in the ER (CC not so funny as the final diagnosis): forehead laceration secondary to patient's wife throwing a pressure cooker at his head during a fight.
Not so much a CC..but in comp care yesterday a patient listed "Band-Aids" as one of her allergies. I would have liked to have been the one to see her to get the scoop on that.
This one's for Kittenmommy
I've had that one. He had chest palpitations a few minutes after smoking some weed. I should've asked if he had recently changed dealers and/or did he trust what his dealer might be putting in the MJ?CC: "I smoked some pot and now I feel funny"
hmm...I'd be more impressed if you could give the etiology of how these diseases, etc. can cause the presenting symptoms. Can't tell you how many people I've impressed with my knowledge of Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome and Cornelia de Lange.
Other pt - The devil lives in your shoe
Me -
Other pt - Yeah....and the paintings on the wall are telling me that white people want to control your life
Other pt - The devil lives in your shoe
Me -
Other pt - Yeah....and the paintings on the wall are telling me that white people want to control your life
From my internal medicine inpatient experience. Not exactly CCs, but during rounds:
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Med Student: "Do you know where you are?"
Patient: "I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a machine."
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Intern: "Do you know what year it is?"
Patient: "2....."
*about 15 seconds elapse*
Intern: "OK, good...and the last 3 digits?"
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Attending: "Mr. X, your cardiac enzymes and stress test have come back normal, for the 5th time in the past year. We're pretty sure your chest pain is due to your cocaine use. Cocaine can cause the blood vessels in your heart to..."
Pt X: "But doc, I told you, I haven't used cocaine in over a year!"
Attending: "But your urine tox screen came back positive for cocaine."
Pt X: "It's wrong. The test is wrong."
Attending: "Well, it got in to your urine somehow."
Pt X: "I know what it could be. I live with a bunch of guys who do that stuff. I must've caught it from one of them."
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MALE attending on rounds: "Hello Ms. X. I'm Dr. Y, the head doctor on your medicine team. How are you feeling today?"
Pt w/ h/o schizophrenia in for medical problem: "You're SO pretty!"
*snickers all around from med students and residents*
...later during same exam...
Patient to intern: "Your teeth are big."
Patient to me: "You're very white."
By the time we left the room, even the attending was wiping his eyes from laughter.
My favorite - "The thrill is gone in my AV fistula"
Fistulas make a noise that you can auscultate with a stethoscope/palpate called a "thrill". It is a play on words.
Patient: I lost "something" in my butt.
Over 2 hours (30 of which were using the speculum in the wrong hole...), and 2 trips to the OR for tools later, a 4 inch wide, 1 and a half foot penis shaped dildo was pulled (or birthed rather...) from the rectum. ..... He was so thankful afterwards because he was a farmer and if he had needed surgery, wouldn't have been able to sit on his tractor...
Patient C, who was in an ED isolation room, and whom I was sent to interview alone:
I'm hearing voices.
Me: What are the voices saying?
Patient C: Well, they're telling me to kill you. Its pretty distracting, seeing as I'd really rather not.
Me: I'll be right back.
:: Umm... the speculum was used in what wrong hole? I feel like anatomy is failing me. Where else did you put the speculum in this dude?
Fabulous story. Did he accidentally fall on it in the shower? I hear that happens a lot. Showers are tricky.
My thought exactly. Maybe the pie hole? Or the patient was really masculine female?
To overcome the vacuum effect, use an NGT (through the rectum) and place it up past the object. Letting air in/out through the NGT breaks the suction, making the object easier to retrieve.we had to use a speculum to visualize....it was very far in. Believe me this thing dwarfed the size of the speculum. After we got a grip on the thing, we were able to get it out, and had to take out the speculum prior to removal because the diameter of the speculum was probably about 1/3 the diameter of the object.
He was in the process of doing "naughty things" when this got sucked up. he had it on a chair, sat, and before he knew it, that sucker was gone. My guess is he had created a vacuum between the object and his bum hole. It had such a strong vacuum on it that anytime we got a good grip, it would eventually rip a piece of the rubber off, and the unclamped dong would get sucked in. You could actually feel the beast in his abdomen on palpation. I was pushing on the abdomen while the intern was pulling....not one of my proudest moments....
To overcome the vacuum effect, use an NGT (through the rectum) and place it up past the object. Letting air in/out through the NGT breaks the suction, making the object easier to retrieve.
To overcome the vacuum effect, use an NGT (through the rectum) and place it up past the object. Letting air in/out through the NGT breaks the suction, making the object easier to retrieve.