i thought this was funny...

[k9 <3er]

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"A client brought a litter of golden retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. So, I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished.
After the fourth puppy, I noticed my talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized, too."

feel free to add some more jokes below!

 

[RTHA06]

that is funny!!

 

[Wisco]

haha people are crazy.

 

[OceanAngel]

That's great!

 

[mistifical]

We had a woman call our clinic concerned for her own health because her pet had some sort of intestinal worm. She asked us if we could run a fecal on her if she brought a sample in.

 

[tiddlywinks]

We had a woman call our clinic concerned for her own health because her pet had some sort of intestinal worm. She asked us if we could run a fecal on her if she brought a sample in.

That reminds me of this one case where we told the owner that her dog had a yeast infection in its ears, and she asked if the dog could have got that from nosing around in her underwear.

 

[cyrille104]

That reminds me of this one case where we told the owner that her dog had a yeast infection in its ears, and she asked if the dog could have got that from nosing around in her underwear.

Oh god that was gross 😱

 

[k9 <3er]

That reminds me of this one case where we told the owner that her dog had a yeast infection in its ears, and she asked if the dog could have got that from nosing around in her underwear.

hahahahaha oh man...

 

[RazorDoc2010]

At the emergency clinic I work at, a lady once called to ask about what to do for a dehydrated earthworm....yea, no joke. The doctor was so amused he got on the phone and said she had 2 options: put it on a fishing hook, or in some moist dirt. AND she actually called back later to tell us it was doing much better! ahh..you have to love the people you encounter in vet med!

 

[mistifical]

owners...

an owner brought her 6 year old pit bull in to the hospital and says to the receptionst "her tit is swollen." The receptionist then writes "swollen tit" on the routing slip and sends the chart back...

another time there was a guy who brought in his puppy that was having seizures. The story I heard was that apparently they had been blowing crack smoke in the face of the 2 puppies they had, one enjoyed, the other had a bad reaction. When the doctor asked for a deposit for hospitalization the owner said "i need to go make the money, i'll be back in an hour." I think the puppy got abandoned and a tech took him home.

 

[wildfocus]

We had a woman call our clinic concerned for her own health because her pet had some sort of intestinal worm. She asked us if we could run a fecal on her if she brought a sample in.

man, that is a hoot! i have to share that at the clinic this weekend.. 😀

 

[InfiniVet]

I had a client call to say, after careful consideration, she wasn't making an appointment.


Another client brought his dog in for itchy ears. The vet said it could be mites. He asked, could the dog have caught pubic lice?


My boss loves to pull pranks.
One time he flicked a freshly castrated cat testicle at one of the techs as he walked past the surgery room (in the middle of the procedure). did you know that testicles are sticky like snot? yes, in fact, they stick very well on people's faces!

When a cat is ketamine'd he'll pull a tech in real close, pretending to point out something very small and fascinating on the cat...then he'll lightning fast grab the cats front leg and simultaneously paw at you and make a hissing sound. You cant help but jump a mile back even though you KNOW the cat is sedated.

 

[k9 <3er]

Another client brought his dog in for itchy ears. The vet said it could be mites. He asked, could the dog have caught pubic lice?QUOTE]

ewwww...

 

[mistifical]

Another client brought his dog in for itchy ears. The vet said it could be mites. He asked, could the dog have caught pubic lice?

If only I could remember the pubic lice story from one of our clients. I think i showed up to work in the morning and this guy was dropping his dog off for boarding and made it very clear to everyone that he was doing so because he had pubic lice and didn't want the dog to get it. He also made mention of several girlfriends.

 

[seaturtlegirl]

I once was called to the pharmacy area of our hospital to come view some interesting results of a fecal. As I approached the microscope, the vet was standing there near the remainder of the sample. During the conversation, she mentioned how hungry she was, and stuck her finger into the sample and ate some!!! I quickly realized it was peanut butter mixed with chocolate!

 

[InfiniVet]

Another prank my boss will pull is if we have a new, inexperienced tech working, he'll suggest that she observe a surgery to get more familiar with blood and guts.
So, in the surgery suite, during a spay, with the abdomen wide open, he'll say "Gosh, I just don't know if this one's gonna make it." Followed up by "This animal is fading fast. We need a transfusion immediately if I'm going to be able to save her. Who's willing to volunteer their blood so that this animal will live?"
Then everyone looks at the new tech, who, wide eyed and slightly panicked volunteers a nervous "I will." So he'll order her to quickly find a 6 or a 10 gauge needle, some tape, and any kind of tubing she can find. While she leaves, we all stifle a snicker while he stitches the dog up, and wait for her to return.
When she comes back 5 mins later he asks her to take the cap off the needle and hand it to him. He'll hold it, directing the huge 6 gauge needle at her and very slowly move towards her arm....and if she still doesn't get the prank by then, he'll finally tell her you can't give human blood to animals.
Then we all gut laugh, and the newly initiated tech never trusts him again =P

 

[mistifical]

Another prank my boss will pull is if we have a new, inexperienced tech working, he'll suggest that she observe a surgery to get more familiar with blood and guts.
So, in the surgery suite, during a spay, with the abdomen wide open, he'll say "Gosh, I just don't know if this one's gonna make it." Followed up by "This animal is fading fast. We need a transfusion immediately if I'm going to be able to save her. Who's willing to volunteer their blood so that this animal will live?"
Then everyone looks at the new tech, who, wide eyed and slightly panicked volunteers a nervous "I will." So he'll order her to quickly find a 6 or a 10 gauge needle, some tape, and any kind of tubing she can find. While she leaves, we all stifle a snicker while he stitches the dog up, and wait for her to return.
When she comes back 5 mins later he asks her to take the cap off the needle and hand it to him. He'll hold it, directing the huge 6 gauge needle at her and very slowly move towards her arm....and if she still doesn't get the prank by then, he'll finally tell her you can't give human blood to animals.
Then we all gut laugh, and the newly initiated tech never trusts him again =P

How much were you fooled??

 

[Wisco]

lol thats sounds like an awesome boss to have.


Its not really a funny story, but I was in an exam room with the vet and I was holding this golden retriever down on the table for vaccines and we both hear this constant clicking sound, for a couple of minutes we couldn't realize what is was so then we looked up and saw on the skylight a seagull killing a pigeon, it was hammering the pigeon against the skylight and feathers were everywhere. and my vet wanted me to go take a picture of it lol.

another time a dog came in for a check up because the owners just got him at a pound, and we gave him a abd. x-ray and when it came back there was like a 100 small bb's from a gun in his whole body. it happened so long ago that the skin re-healed over them. it was one of the craziest things I have ever seen.

 

[k9 <3er]

Another prank my boss will pull is if we have a new, inexperienced tech working, he'll suggest that she observe a surgery to get more familiar with blood and guts.
So, in the surgery suite, during a spay, with the abdomen wide open, he'll say "Gosh, I just don't know if this one's gonna make it." Followed up by "This animal is fading fast. We need a transfusion immediately if I'm going to be able to save her. Who's willing to volunteer their blood so that this animal will live?"
Then everyone looks at the new tech, who, wide eyed and slightly panicked volunteers a nervous "I will." So he'll order her to quickly find a 6 or a 10 gauge needle, some tape, and any kind of tubing she can find. While she leaves, we all stifle a snicker while he stitches the dog up, and wait for her to return.
When she comes back 5 mins later he asks her to take the cap off the needle and hand it to him. He'll hold it, directing the huge 6 gauge needle at her and very slowly move towards her arm....and if she still doesn't get the prank by then, he'll finally tell her you can't give human blood to animals.
Then we all gut laugh, and the newly initiated tech never trusts him again =P

can i work there? your boss sounds like a lot of fun.

 

[InfiniVet]

We have waaaaay too much fun at the clinic. I love working there, my boss is a riot, but he's a fantastic veterinarian and amazing surgeon. He actually invented a surgery to combat hip dysplasia.

I remember looking at my first fecal float under the microscope, furiosly trying to distinguish odd shaped particles from possible parasite eggs...I spent a good 10 mins thoroughly searching the slide when he came up behind me and said "Just like people, most of the time there ain't nothin there but s___."

He puts things in a way that I can understand, lol

And no, he didn't pull the transfusion prank with me though I feel kinda left out!

 

[FriskyPony]

At the emergency clinic I work at, a lady once called to ask about what to do for a dehydrated earthworm....yea, no joke. The doctor was so amused he got on the phone and said she had 2 options: put it on a fishing hook, or in some moist dirt. AND she actually called back later to tell us it was doing much better! ahh..you have to love the people you encounter in vet med!

This forum is so funny!!!!! I'm reading it in the library though, and this is as far as I got before I could no longer resist laughing outloud--I'll have to finish it later!

 

[Emio]

That reminds me of this one case where we told the owner that her dog had a yeast infection in its ears, and she asked if the dog could have got that from nosing around in her underwear.

i had a woman tell me she noticed some larvae under her cat's tail and was concerned that the parasites were transmittable to her. i corrected her, perhaps too mildly, because after a long pause she said, "but i kiss him a lot." "well, ma'am, just be judicious in where you kiss him, and i don't think you'll ingest the larvae." i still don't think she got it, lol.

 

[mistifical]

a few weeks ago a woman rushed into the hospital carrying her small dog in her arms, crying that it had just had a seizure. the receptionist immediately took the dog back to the doctor to be checked out, and when he returned to the woman to have her fill out paperwork she quietly informed him that she wasn't wearing any pants because she was in bed when the dog had the seizure and she got up and ran out of the house without putting pants on. we couldn't find her any scrub pants so we got her a surgical gown...

 

[tiddlywinks]

Owners are hysterical sometimes. 🙂 We also had some clients who wanted us to remove a tick from their dog's abdomen. they'd tried to get it off themselves, I think they'd tried to burn it off.... the "tick" turned out to be the dog's nipple.


speaking of pranks, i'm not sure if anyone will find this funny since it's kinda macabre. (just a warning) Just before one of the vets was coming on shift, the rest of the vets and techs took a body from the cooler and stuck it in one of the cages in the ICU. So they're doing rounds, and all of a sudden the new doc goes "oh my god this cat isn't breathing!!!", grabs it out and starts doing CPR... before she realizes everyone else is just standing around trying not to laugh.