The sun has risen and nothing has happened. Memes everywhere tacitly accept that this may be the end of the chaos. Quietly, inside their heads, they all begin to cheer and celebrate. In one part of the internet, one meme is especially cheerful. For they have decided it is time to act. They have bided their time during this whole killer virus episode, and now is their time to embrace their destiny. They have only one shot at this. Well, technically two. But only one opportunity.
Packen sits in his Ikea, quietly stroking his jacket. He sees the world through a revolving door. In a very literal way as he spends much of his day in fear, staring out the various glass paneling of the Ikea. He feels safe in here. He is protected from the villains out there, from the evil of the world. Those who would want to hurt him would need to get past the Ikea door, which had blocked so many before. This is his castle as well as his jail cell, too afraid to face the dangerous world outside. Trapped forever with his sherling coat in a world of some assembly required furniture, living off Swedish meatballs. He quietly watches the sun rise on this new day in the internet, just knowing deep down in his bones that it is the start of something so new that it is scary.
<thwump>
A shadowy figure drops from the ceiling, landing without harm on the linoleum tiling behind
Packen.
Packen doesn't even turn around. "So this is how it ends, huh." The figure doesn't say a word, simply nodding up and down. "I was too much of a pest for you. I see. Well, let me at least take off the jacket. It would be such a shame to ruin it." Quietly
Packen takes off the jacket and lays it gingerly on the ground. He turns around and faces the invader. "Lets do this". From outside of the ikea, there is a loud "THUMP" and then a spray of blood hits the ikea windows. A few seconds later the revolving door starts spinning and an unseen shadowy figure walks out of the ikea, leaving bloody footprints behind them.
Packen, The Ikea Monkey, has been killed by an assailant. He was so confident that his ikea would protect him from anything detrimental, but knew damn well it wouldn't protect him from death
In memorium:
Yet the day hours are far from over. The shadowy figure proceeds onwards towards the center of the internet. To the hub. There,
Lissarae is just starting to prepare for a day of potential judgment. She is about to climb her pile of debris to her podium when she freezes in place. She says "so… I'm assuming you're not here to be my friend." The shadowy figure shifts their weight slightly under the tree they were hiding behind. Realizing that they have been seen, they reluctantly start moving out from the shadow.
Lissa doesn't need to see who it is to know the identity. "But why,
EquineConstant? Why?".
EC walks out into the open, blood splattered on her fur. She says "When I was at my weakest, when I was at my lowest, the viruses came and took away the only person I ever loved. They took away my brother."
Lissa slowly walks towards
EC, but only a few steps, so as to not to incite any aggression. She responds "the viruses are dead. Your vengeance is complete. Go home. Call off this fight. There are no more people to avenge."
EC continues her speech where she left off: "and when my hatred for them brought me back to life, literally reviving my body with the power of the grump, I came to be your savior, to be a hero. To be lauded as the God who saved all of memekind from viruses. I was to be the savior who they would build statues of. The one who would have website after website dedicated to. My brothers memory would be but a fart in the wind compared to the legacy I would have. AT THAT POINT… you all decided to try to kill me. To try to lynch me as some vulgar street meme."
Lissa slowly walks towards her bag, left just a few yards away from where she is standing. In there is a knife. The one she will end this scourge with.
EC is so wrapped up in her diatribe that maybe she won't notice
Lissa going for it. Lissa yells out "that is BS. You clearly have some sort of delusion of grandeur. Your brother died, and he was the father of all of our popularity. This isn't about justice for him. You said it yourself. You think yourself some God and only by being the most revered of the memes can you accept that your dead brother was always, and will always, be better than you. How many people do you intend to kill to be the brightest star remaining?"
EC ponders this for a second and then says "you know. I never thought about it that way. I guess the answer is…. However many it takes until I am king of the tubes, even if I am the king of nothing but smoldering rubble, I will rebuild it in my grumpy image. The viruses fought to control the internet. You fought to protect the internet. But I'm not like either of you. I just want to watch the world burn."
EC, totally wrapped up in her speech barely notices
Lissa begin rapidly rushing at her, and definitely doesn't notice the knife.
Lissa leaps at
EC, who does register that in the nick of time, and dives sideways onto the ground. Lissa lands on the ground a few feet away and scrambles towards
EC.
EC grabs a fist full of sand and throws it in
lissa's face. Lissa recoils back for a second, rubbing her eyes while
EC gets to her feet.
EC yells out "you know my hands, powered by my hatred, are strong enough to punch through your puny chest".
Lissa says "I know you have a heart still in you somewhere".
EC laughs and says "my heart is cold and black".
Lissa retorts "well as long as it's there, I'm glad. Because I plan to stab you in it."
EC runs at
Lissa who is still rubbing her eyes. She goes to tackle
Lissa, but it is a ploy and she moves to the side and slashes
EC in the leg.
EC cries out and rolls on the ground.
Lissa lifts the knife over her head and leaps in the air and on top of
EC. The knife swings down with all of is force and misses just to the left of
EC's head, as
EC torques her head away. As
Lissa goes to pull the knife out of the grass,
EC turns her head back and bites her in the hand.
Lissa howls in pain and jumps off of
EC, leaving the knife in the ground.
EC gets up and grabs the knife for herself.
Lissa takes a defensive position waiting for the attack. An attack that doesn't come.
EC yells at her "take back your knife. I like a fair fight".
Lissa is shocked by this, but
EC does indeed throw back the knife, which lands right at
Lissa's feet.
Lissa bends over to pick it up and then starts to take a defensive stance when
<BLAM> a gunshot rings out.
Lissa looks down at her stomach, where blood is quickly starting to soak her shirt. She looks up at
EC, carrying a smoking gun that must have been concealed somewhere in the fur before.
"I thought you said you liked fair fights?" gasps
Lissa.
EC replies with "I lied."
Lissa takes a few steps towards
EC, who fires again, hitting her in the shoulder.
Lissa drops to one knee, but then rises again. "I thought you stood for something important"
EC nods and says "I lied a little there too… I stand for myself."
EC then raises his gun and fires again, but
Lissa screams and ducks. The bullet flies somewhere over her head. She uses all of her energy to close the small distance between her and
EC and tackle him in one swift hit,
EC fires off another bullet while being tackled that flies harmlessly into the sky. She has pinned him down, she is breathing heavily and blood is dripping down onto
EC.
EC says "you're going to die, you know that"
Lissa just laughs and says "No… I can't, the mod said it would take something extraordinary to kill me."
EC smiles and says "I guess the mod lied too" and fires a fifth shot, with the barrel pressed firmly against Lissa's sternum.
Lissa's body lurches up for a split second, and then falls limply ontop of
EC, who rolls her off pretty quickly.
EC slowly rises, assessing the slash wound to her leg. She then assesses
Lissa's dead body and drops the gun, out of bullets anyway, onto her chest. "It's a shame, I rather liked you.
Lissa, Courage Wolf, Who could not be converted or killed at night except by extraordinary circumstances, was killed by one of the possible extraordinary circumstances
In memorium:
As a blood stained
EC wanders the streets he passes
nohika.
Nohika asks him why he is covered in blood.
EC just glares at her and says "aren't you dead?"
Nohika hedges and rubs her foot in the ground while she responds "well… sort of. But I am your internet neighbor and am curious how I can help you!".
EC responds in the usual fashion.
Nohika, Hipster Kitty v2.0, who never really counted as anything since her death, has decided to not get involved in the victory conditions because grumpy cat was mean to her
Finally
EC approached
OrcaGirl's house. She can hear
orca running down her stairs towards the front door.
EC punches the door open, its latch blowing off of the frame and the door swinging wide open.
Orca stares slack jawed at the blood covered feline meme.
Orca has a knife in hand ready to defend herself.
EC speaks first "I have an offer for you…. I am tired of death. Heck, I don't have the energy to kill anyone ever again. But you! You have proven that you never tire of it. Help me rebuild this internet in my image. In the image of the grump. We shall sneer forever together. I will be an ascendant god of the internet and you will be my personal right hand, killing those who oppose me. You know it is in your nature, as do I. So let's just do this ****."
EC doesn't even wait for a response. She begins to walk away as
Orcagirl lets it sink in that she really is the last remaining meme. She can't help but realize she faces death or assimilation and decides to agree to let
grumpy cat win this. After all,
OrcaGirl is The Dating Site Serial Killer, a villager who would feed her violent urges by being able to kill anyone in the game regardless of protection status. Even if she is a villager, she can't deny the offer to kill others is too tempting to turn down.
EquineConstant, **** The Grumpy Cat, who wanted nothing more than to see the whole world burn due to her undying grump power has won the game and declared herself the God of the internet. Thanks in no small part to saving her two "high power kills" for the last possible moment"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God Of The Internet
**EquineConstant - Surprised Kitty Grumpy Cat**
FBI.gov
<empty>
4Chan
**Orcagirl** - Dating Site Serial Killer
Memebase
Nohika - Hipster Kitty - Hipster Kitty v2.0
Facebook
<Empty>
Reddit
<Empty>
Wikipedia
<Empty>
Recycle Bin
SOV - Success Kid
Lupin - Overly Attached GF
Kaydubs - Happy Cat
Devyn - Squinty Eye Fry
Trematode - Scumbag Steve
LIS - DDoS Attack Virus
SnS - Worm Virus
WldLfStdnt - Trojan Virus
Dyachei - Insanity Wolf
WTF - First World Problems
FFM - Socially Awkward Penguin
TheDrJojo – I Have No Idea What I'm Doing Dog
FTB - Condescending Wonka
FH - TMIMITW
Samoa - Paranoid Parrot
That Redhead - Logic Bomb Virus
SDP - Sudden Clarity Clarence
WildCatJ - Hipster Ariel
KP - Pedobear, Basement Cat
WolfSpeaker - High Expectations Asian Father
PetPony - Dramatic Chipmunk
JJohnston - I Regret Nothing Chicken
Hedgie - Brace Yourself - Worm Virus v2.0
Escalla - McKayla Maroney
TropicTuco - 90's Problems/James Van Der Meme
DVMDream - Rootkit Virus
Swings - The Baby Godfather
Nyanko - Tay Zonday
Packen - Ikea Monkey
Lissarae - Courage Wolf
I was really proud of the wolves at this moment btw.
